The Studio: Returns?

Production Meeting Chaos and Studio Banter

So every week here at Apologia Studios, we have a really important production meeting at 9 a .m. We pitch ideas, we schedule shows, we prep our shows. Today at 9 a .m. is basically when everything happens.

It's 10 .30. So this is the Apologia Studios production schedule. It is the most important thing in this studio. It is color-coded. I write all of our meetings in. I write our call times in, film times.

I try to take it everywhere I go. So every morning, I come in and I look at what we've got going on for the day, and then I just throw it away because nobody cares. Except for I'm not actually gonna throw it because I work really, really hard on this.

You use that peppermint oil all the time.

Yeah, when I have a headache.

Okay.

I put it on my mustache. Natural diffuser. It's amazing. It's like the most amazing thing ever.

Perks of being a man.

Aim into that.

Wait, you can't do that now. But that's what we agreed on. I mean, we really want to interview your client. Well, yeah, I get that he's LeBron James. Okay, but I'm really disappointed. This is very unprofessional of you.

So when I first started interning here, Jeff told me to start making some important calls. But he never told me who to call. So I call my mom once a week, pretend to have an important conversation. I think she's just glad to hear from me.

So like these guys come running up on us out of nowhere, right, and nobody wants to jump into this thing because they don't even know what's going on. Guy lines up in front of me, I turn and I get ready for a roundhouse kick right to the head.

Only option.

It's the only option, right? It's the only thing.

Has anybody seen Gabe? Come on guys, let's go.

Hey, did you get everything set with the cabin?

Yep, we're all good. It's all booked.

The one in Prescott, right?

No, Payson.

Payson?

Yep, Payson.

Nowhere near Prescott.

We never go to Payson.

I thought we were going to Prescott.

We've never gone to Prescott.

Every time we go to Prescott. We can't go to Prescott?

The only time you went to Prescott is when you got lost.

What if I body slam you?

Oh!

Got him.

Got him.

Why are you here?

All right guys, so Thursday, thinking for the TV guest, we should have, hey, what's up guys? 11 o 'clock, right? 11 o 'clock.

I guess we'll try again next week.

I like it.

All right guys,.

Stay with us.

We're going to be right back. More at apologiaradio .com. That's where you get us. That's Joy the girl. They call me the ninja. And that's Luke the bear right there. See you on the other side. Be right back.

Luke brings snacks into the studio. That's kind of his thing. Everyone knows he's always got his bag of snacks for them. And today, Luke forgot his snacks. And I've been friends with him long enough to know that if Luke forgets his snacks,.

He gets a little

Listen!

Listen, here's the thing. When I don't eat, I get really sick. I have low blood sugar. I've had this my entire life. My whole family has it. If I don't eat, if I don't get protein, if my lunch schedule gets off, I basically die.

Okay, wait. Let me guess. Luke told you that if he doesn't eat, he's gonna die. Diva. One time, he made me hand feed him a granola bar because he said his blood sugar was too low to move his arms.

So we always like to hang out after camps. And so the camp is done. It's dark inside the cabin. We come inside, it's super late. And Matt had removed the boards from underneath this top bunk. And it's super high.

He comes running inside, leaps on top of the bed. It folds

Hey! Austin!

It folds

Dude, are you serious?

You keep it down.

We're trying to record right now.

All right, Mark.

Honestly, man.

All right, Mark that. Marcus, mark it. Mark it. Luke?

I just don't think he likes me. When he hasn't eaten.

Oh, yes!

When he has eaten. Especially when he hasn't eaten.

So sorry!

That would be my walkout song.

That's like the song that I listen to.

Before I go to the gym.

That's right.

That's, yeah.

It's like

Okay, do you have like, do you have out music for the end of the segment?

Absolutely the best episodes. My man.

I agree.

Ain't nobody know history like my boy.

That's for sure.

One of our favorites.

That's right. You seem to be really digging this today.

Dude, I am. This song, man. Nailed it.

You like it?

I like this song. I've been dancing so much. I'm sweaty. I don't even care.

Awesome.

Good job, man.

BFS.

All right, man. Thanks, dude.

Good. Good.

No, look.

I just need somebody to explain to me how Hillary made it into the primaries and Bernie didn't.

He lost the carcass system.

The what?

The carcass.

Seriously?

What is this?

Marcus! Dude.

You're saying carcass?

Yeah, carcass. Yeah, the carcass. Hey guys. So, the studio space is consistently a mess. I mean, I don't mean to be hard on you guys. I love you guys, but it's a mess. I mean, there was some expensive cord, kind of, probably, I'm guessing, in the pizza, in the box.

Do you want us to clean up some?

Well, yeah, I mean, it'd be good. I mean, anyway, people come in to film, we do the show, you know. Oh, there you go.

Yeah, we can definitely clean up. Don't worry about it.

Good.

We'll take care of it.

All right, guys.

Cool.

All right, all right.

Thanks, Jeff.

Yeah, carcass system.

No, no, no, no, no.

Caucus.

Right, yeah.

Exactly, I'm agreeing with you. You're saying carcass?

Yeah, the carcass system.

You're saying carcass. That's something you find in the upside down.

Guys!

Marcus, seriously.

Bananas.

There's a serious problem here at the studio. It's always a mess. There's trash overflowing constantly. There's pizza boxes everywhere. Blankets, pillows, all kinds of drink cups. I mean, you wouldn't know by looking at the place, but grownups, real grownups actually work here.

Grownups. Raised by hill people.

We literally work here all day long. 24 hours a day. We're editing. We're doing work. We don't have time to be focused on the trash. Of course it's messy. It looks a little lived in. And those bananas are Jeff's.

Hey, Carmen, can you spray down the table too and wipe it down?

I don't want to throw the cups away because I live in a big family. And when you live in a big family, you learn to be resourceful.

Jeff came in this morning and told us that we needed to clean up the studio. And I completely agree. I mean, I keep my stuff clean anyways. The studio, it's a professional place. It should always be clean.

So I figured, you know, I'd come in, help out, take a couple of things to the trash. And Carmen's just helping, so.

You did great today, man. Thanks.

Cool, thanks.

A lot of help, man.

I'll see you same time next week.

Yeah, sounds great.

Sweet, cool, man.

Thanks.

All right, man.

Yeah, we'll do that.

Okay, all right, man.

Have a good one.

Thanks, man.

I forgot something. I got to go get it. I'll be right back.

So last night, Jeff called me and asked if I would like to help do a deep clean of the studio. So I called a couple of friends. We're going to be cleaning up. We're going to be taking out the trash.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

How long has that been there?

It's impossible. Oh my goodness, it's impossible.

It's not the same.

No, no, no.

We found a cooler today. We left it out there two years ago. When we first moved in, we had a party. We filled it with all the unused meat. Steak, chicken, raw meat. It's been sitting out there for two years, too.

Arizona summers. Growing, living, being. We picked it up and it's sloshed.

Marcus, Marcus, Marcus, Marcus, Marcus, Marcus, Marcus.

Undivided attention, dude. Undivided attention. Seriously, you've got to hear this.

You don't even understand what's happening.

Do you remember? Do you remember?

This is nasty.

The cooler, the cooler, with it. The cooler, someone left the cooler outside.

For two years.

Like it's still here?

From two years ago, we opened the thing up. I don't even know what to say. Have you ever tasted true darkness? Marcus, they had an entire political process and they had maggot Trump. Bearded maggots, clean-shaven maggots, hipster maggots, maggots with beanies, maggots.

There were celebrity maggots, little maggot Kardashians running around. I mean, there was dancing, there was singing. Social media for maggots. Something straight out of the book of Revelation. Have you read Revelation, Marcus?

Would you like to see? I just wanna know if we're gonna get arrested. I mean, that's, I mean, a certain part of this feels like it's not legal. What are you gonna do about it? That's all I wanna know.

This is one of those shining moments in your life, Marcus. What are you gonna do? How are you gonna save us, Marcus? That's all I'm asking.

So, Gabe and I actually offered to take the cooler to the dumpster. Jeff was clearly distressed. So, we made a nice sign.

Nobody ever needs to see what's in it,.

Except for my Snapchat friends.

It's five o 'clock somewhere, am I right, or am I right?

I don't know why you think I'm exaggerating. Yes, a human face, an actual human face. Look, if this thing had a Facebook, it would friend me. I mean, seriously.

It's nothing I haven't seen before, and it's not that gross. I got a free cooler today. Couldn't be better.

Get tangled up here. All right, so.

Are we ready?

Yeah, I'm ready. Wait, where's Marcus? So, we have this new show. It's called Post-Bit, and it's actually pretty awesome. We review video games and give sort of analysis, talk about how great they are, and basically, we play video games all day.

It's awesome. So, they picked a new game this week, and it's been time-consuming, to say the least. Basically, it's a game where you explore the universe. There's planets everywhere. You're being attacked by aliens.

I mean, I don't know all the details, but you could probably ask Marcus and Austin about it, but I'm about 100 that they're not gonna hear anything you're saying right now. Not a word.

Oh, no, you're gonna die. You're gonna die.

I wanna play. Austin, can I play?

You're gonna lose all those resources.

Austin, I wanna play.

I've been waiting to play this game all day. They will not let me play. Can I please play?

Huh?

Can I please play?

Later, yeah.

They said I could play next round. Next round, they just keep playing without me.

Hey, guys. I gotta get Turtle home. Candy wants him home for, gotta get something to eat. I should probably get started filming.

I will play that game.

When you sign up for all access at apologiaradio .com, you get access to all of our television shows, our Apologia Academy, where you get to learn from some of the world's greatest theologians, scholars, scientists, about the biblical worldview at apologiaradio .com.

All right, was that good, guys? Good, Marcus? Okay, Marcus.

Yeah, good job, Jeff.

Austin, you too? This is a disaster.

We're gonna be here all night. Dude, you did this.

This was your fault.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wait a minute. It had to be, it was Turtle.

I told you I would play this game.

Hey, Jeff. When are we filming the next Academy? What's that? When are we filming the next Academy?

Oh.

Oh, hang on, let me get the calendar. It should be on here. So Joy is out of the studio today.

We're free of Joy.

And she put me in charge of the calendar, which, of course, she felt the need to explain to me for 30 whole minutes how to use, how to proceed, what to do.

Different procedures and stuff for different organizational things.

Blue, got it.

And then, no, it's not blue, though. It's the teal that's for that.

Is it what now? It's a calendar, Joy. I'm 38 years old. I'm a grown man. I've created children.

I have five black belts.

I can hurt people in spectacular ways. And I know how to use a calendar. It's not difficult. It's very straightforward. You look at the calendar. Tells you all the stupid things you have to do on what stupid days.

Joy. Joy.

It's just a calendar.

Relax.

Yeah, so what I'm saying is, if we have the academy on that day, I'm not gonna go home for 14 days.

I'm just trying to figure out what are the blue and purple and yellow. I don't even know what.

Hey, guys, I got a whole bunch of stuff in my truck. Can you give me a hand, help me carry it in?

Yeah. Cool, thanks.

How much?

Oh, I got a ton of stuff. Dude, how old are those donuts?

Well, that's just the thing. I don't know if it's hours, days, weeks.

If they're days, I will definitely eat them still.

Well, yeah, I mean, that's the thing. I don't think there's a foodborne illness for a Boston cream.

Heck no.

It's just gotta pass the hardness test as far as I'm concerned.

Yeah, I mean, at least if you get sick, you go down in glory. Who first called it that?

It definitely does not look like a P.

No, so where's it come from?

Maybe somebody's name.

Hello, I'm Tim.

Sir Anthony P. Esquire.

Absolutely.

What's up, man?

Yeah, we know who you are.

Hey, I'm here to record my promotional video for helloimtim .com.

Hilarious.

Brand strategy.

Right, we'll set everything up for you right now.

No, are you guys not ready?

Wait, no, you're serious?

Yeah. Today?

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, it's on my phone.

We don't have time for that. Did you set this up?

Nope.

I talked to Joy and she put it in her calendar.

You're totally serious.

She's not here today.

Yeah, she had this giant calendar.

I'm so sorry, man.

I'm sorry.

I got the calendar thingy she gave me. I'm sorry, man.

We'll figure out a way to get you in today.

Okay, thanks, man. I appreciate that.

What is this for again?

For helloimtim .com. Web brand strategy.

Hello, I'm Tim. Web designer.

Marcus, where's the calendar we had earlier?

You had it.

No, no, you were sitting up inside there filming.

You were showing it to me.

We lost the calendar. Joy's gonna be so mad.

Hey, if you lost Joy's calendar, that's

Man, I hope we can put it in her Don't say that, man.

Don't do that, no. No one knows what the calendar is. Where's the calendar? I don't know the calendar. Where'd you put the calendar?

Dude, Joy's gonna be so mad. You're done.

Do you know who the calendar is?

Man, don't do this to me.

Joy will freak out.

No.

I haven't touched it.

Can you at least help me look for it?

Absolutely.

Lucas, is it back there?

Nope.

I don't know how to get down. There's nothing up here.

Hey, guys. I got it. I got it. We make a new calendar. We make a new calendar.

All right, yes.

Yes, we make a new calendar. We make a new calendar.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Okay, so this is the calendar. We got the colorful things that she always puts on.

You got teal, okay.

That's in there.

That definitely is 2017.

It doesn't matter. Just scratch it out. Just Sharpie.

She won't notice.

We could do that.

You could put.

That's what I'm saying is if we put pictures of animals on here, it'll totally throw her off. This is January. Does anybody have any idea what is going on around here? Who's got better handwriting? You try to write like Joy.

That's not gonna, she's not gonna buy that. You gotta, gosh, this is gonna work. This is gonna work. Like put a sloth on a Monday, a koala on a Tuesday, a baby elephant on a Saturday. If she's, I mean, it's gonna be none the wiser.

It's good.

I like it.

Yeah.

I think she's gonna buy it. It should pass.

Yeah, I think we're good.

Totally. Yeah?

Yep.

Good?

Yep.

Good.

Totally nailed it. She'll come in tomorrow and it's gonna be fine. It's gonna be totally fine. So I don't really know what to do. I mean, I'm kind of at my wits end. I think we should like take all the mess and just put it in his car.

I mean, I think that that's a good strategy. Just put it into his car so every day he has to go home to mess in his car.

Eventually he's gonna have to climb out of the mess to get out of the car.

That's what I'm saying. I think that will probably do the trick.

I hope so.

Check this out.

Look.

Oh my gosh. That's amazing.

Hey Joy.

How are you Joy?

Hey guys. What's up? Hey.

Hey, it's good to see you.

Shoot. Oh, hey Joy.

Hey Joy.

Hey guys.

Think she bought it?

Now we're gonna figure it out.

Oh my gosh.

Okay.

It's not even close, but they worked really, really hard on it. And I'm not gonna say anything. I figure they just need to win this one. All right guys. So the reason I scheduled this production meeting today was to just get some ideas for new shows, new projects we're working on, just seeing where you guys are at, seeing if you guys had any ideas.

Luke and Jeff aren't here today because everything we do here is an enormous waste of time and they're pastors so we would never want them to be involved in any of this. So do you guys have anything you're thinking about?

Any ideas?

Well, I just wanna bring up the elephant in the room here, which is our logo and the satanic implications it has with the triangles, you know, that's Illuminati. Like, are we in this for Jesus or Satan?

Like, if we're in this for Satan, we should just say, okay, we're a film studio of Satan. And like, Austin here is drinking a monster. Do you know what's on the face of that can? That's Hebrew for 666.

You know what that is? That's the mark of the beast, dude.

Bro, hold on, hold on.

You gotta get on top of it.

I'm investigating the Illuminati right now. This is like my most important project. If we don't get on top of this, it's all over.

Okay, well actually, and you guys, while we're talking about sort of the aesthetics of the show, I'm thinking that maybe we should get rid of anything that like people won't like. So maybe if you guys shave your beards, because I mean, I'm just afraid people won't like them.

Yeah, I have been a little convicted because in my studies, I found that red is the color of the devil. So I've been thinking about shaving, but you have a nose ring.

All right, so moving on, do we have anything else?

I have an idea.

Okay.

I think we need to talk about new show ideas.

All right, let's do it.

I've been thinking about maybe doing like a gun show.

So like Second Amendment type stuff?

No, gun show.

Would you think that that would cause someone to stumble? Okay.

What does that mean?

Speaking of Second Amendment, why don't we do a show on politics?

Well, I think we should add an idea for a show where you walk around on the street with a microphone, ask people questions, make them look stupid. We'll call it, everyone's a statist.

The question though is, are you guys prepared to make an account for that idleness?

Yeah, because ultimately, I mean, like politics don't matter anyway, right? Like Jesus is king.

Okay, so moving on, Austin, why don't you tell us how Post-Bit's going?

It's been going good. I have like three games in the chamber right now. I think this can reach a lot of people.

Okay, so is there any scripture in the show?

Yes.

Altar call?

Absolutely.

Confessions?

Westminster Lundabaptist.

I think you know.

Yes.

Okay, well, if there's nothing else, then we can probably just be done. No, that's good. Gabe always has the best ideas.

Motion to dismiss the meeting.

Second the motion.

Okay, guys, you guys have a good day and remember to not have too much fun.

There is an unbelievable amount of pranks that are happening here. They put a Hillary Clinton bumper sticker on the back of my car. They hide my toys. One time I went to get lunch, I opened up the fridge door and there were googly eyes on everything.

They hide my shoes. They rearranged the furniture in the studio. They toilet papered my office.

What are you having on Post-Bit this week?

I think I'm having Luke.

Okay, do you know what game you're playing?

Call of Duty.

Merry Christmas, Gabe.

Dude, Dutch Brothers has nitro cold brew coffee. It's magical. Dude, isn't that the most amazing thing you've ever had in your life?

Yeah.

It's ridiculous. It takes coffee to a whole new level. Oh my gosh, bro. You just drank like half of it. Seriously? Plastic grapes?

What?

Where's my food? So actually, that was a really great prank. And thankfully, I found my lunch.

Have you guys seen the video with the raccoons that are like sticking their hands up through the porch slats and they're feeding them?

Did somebody stop them?

No, it's supposed to be a cute video.

No, there's nothing cute about raccoons.

They dig through the trash.

They're nasty.

They dig through the trash.

They're mean. They hiss. Have you ever been hissed at by a raccoon?

Hold on, wait guys. It reminds me, there's a video I want you to watch.

You don't want to be hissed at by a raccoon. Well, no I do want to. You would want to hit them with your car.

Guys, seriously, when did you guys even have time to do this? This is getting out of control. I'm talking to Jeff.

Look, I mean, I'm all for playing pranks and I've even been known to play them myself from time to time. And I like it. It's fun. But this, this is too far. I mean, people aren't getting work done. We're actually damaging property at this point.

I mean, there's a line and these guys are habitual line steppers. It's too much. All right guys, I think we can all agree that the pranking has gone a little bit too far. So I just wanted to see if we can maybe commit together to not doing any pranking that actually affects working and projects.

I'm all for having fun. You guys know that I love it, but it's creating sort of an unprofessional atmosphere and making it difficult to actually get any work done or finish projects. So if we could just agree together to staying professional, keeping things tight and not taking it over the edge.

Can we all do that?

Yeah.

Good? Good. Yeah.

All right. Well, good news is, is that you guys actually have to pick all this up. I have some stuff to do. I gotta go. So have fun. All right.

See ya.

All right. So I'll see you guys. See you guys tomorrow. My keys. Oh, there they are. All right guys, I'll see you later. I'm not mad. I'm not mad.