Brokenness — Alan Andrews

Well, there are a number of things I want to say in terms of preliminary statements before we Get into this subject of brokenness one thing is I Intentionally wanted to make sure I'm standing on the same ground that you're sitting on tonight because Just because of the issues that we're talking about I Struggle I've gone through a lot of things In my life in terms of creating brokenness, but I still struggle with brokenness in fact last night When Dave was here, I'm having to let go of the the leader development project and let Dave do it and as Dave was Presenting what he was presenting.

I was sitting there thinking now Let's see just do it this way Dave and just say it this way and a number of other things and I thought boy It's tough for me to let go of things that that mean a lot to me and then today While we're having our prayer time when we had our first break I I was looking at some of you and you looked really really tired and so I decided the solution to this whole process was for us to Have about an hour of prayer and get out of here and have you go get some rest.

And so I went back and told the prayer team. I said hey, let's just pray for about another hour and shut this thing down and Lee Looked at me with all of the kindness. Thanks Dave all the kindness he could muster, but he said to me now Alan Let me ask you a question if we were about to share a message would we Shut it down.

So we'd go have a rest. And I thought well probably not sir so So I said well go ahead and do whatever you want to do. I felt a lot better after I said that but I Felt kind of guilty. I thought just see now there.

I did it again I stuck my nose right in where it didn't belong and so broken. This is something that lives with us for a lifetime and and I I want to talk about it more in terms of a family context a weenus.

And I just want to put it put some things on the table that we can reflect on not that I'm right I'm not suggesting to you that I've got this figured out. I don't by a long shot. But I'm sure there's some things that God wants us to talk about but I want to put it in its broader framework there are three themes That I'm bringing and you will hear them at a leadership level until you absolutely are sick of hearing it and I intended to be that way because I learned when I was ministering in Canada that each year or Roughly each year I would go off and spend some days with the Lord and ask the Lord What is the direction because in from a leadership perspective clarity of direction is absolutely essential and God is saying something and we need to say what God wants to say and so after the selection process I went off and spent some days with the Lord and I Started to pray and ask God what is it that you want to say to us?

But what do you want me to say and I found in my experience in Canada? That if you start with a clear message about the time leaders get sick of the message it has just sunk in at the grassroots and so You're going to hear this not this time but you will hear at other times because I believe it's what God wants us to hear and I hope you'll give me feedback and I hope you'll tell me that some things need to change and I hope that you'll interact With me on this but the three themes have to do one with brokenness.

Second one has to do with integrity and the third one has to do with clarity of vision. Tonight it's brokenness to monite. It's on integrity and then of course the last night is clarity of vision. Now why brokenness?

Well identified three things number one What has happened in my own life? And I don't mean to communicate that I'm a I'm nearly as broken as God would desire me to be broken, but I I experienced some things especially in the ordeal with my own daughter and it allows me to experience and sometimes feel things.

Where you're in an environment and you can you can feel it and if you've ever felt it to the depth That I felt it you can look at it and you can say. You'll never be able to minister to a broken person.

Until you felt that kind of breaking. Because broken people can feel immediately whether you you can touch them or not. And if you talk down to them, they know it. If you if you know all the answers or if you project that you've got it figured out.

They're gone. And as I was mentioning to one group or one person tonight. I Used to as we were going through the struggle with my daughter. I Used to go to church and go home in tears. Incredible pain and I would sometimes say to Becky I would say we've got to leave.

I can't take this anymore. And it wasn't because of the of what was being said. It was the way it was being said. It was coming to me in a way that I absolutely couldn't receive it because even though I knew That what they were saying was true.

And even though I knew that what people were saying about me was not true. I felt judged and Because I felt judged I couldn't hear it and it taught me what it is to be broken. Second it has to do with what I've observed.

I Watch us and and I listen sometimes and I say to myself that will never touch a broken person. A Broken person either can't hear it. Or they'll run from it. It's got to come a different way. The message has got to touch them a different way and Then thirdly the reason we're dealing with brokenness is because of prayer.

In praying over it God just confirmed that this is something in the navigator work. We need to be talking about. Now the issue of integrity Comes up because I can't explain it. I honestly cannot explain in one sense why we need to be talking about integrity.

I honestly don't know what the real issues are. I think we probably know somewhere collectively in this group what the issues are. I don't I haven't been in the US ministry long enough to really know What what those issues would be.

So when I talk about integrity, I'm basically talking about What it is and and how it affects us for example a person of integrity you can look right through them. You can live with vulnerability. You can have a place inside of you that is wounded but you can say to the person I'm wounded right there and That's a scar or that's a wound and I'm learning how how to grow and and to deal with my own Woundedness, but but what is inside and what is outside is the same?

And and that's what we mean by all everything working. We're not talking about wholeness in the sense that we've got it all figured out. We're talking about Some victories some defeat that God has given us by his grace.

And we're just talking about a complete vulnerability to be able to say hey This is where I am and this is how we deal with it and by God's grace Will grow and and will change. But but integrity of life especially in today's world is an absolute essential.

Not integrity in terms of being whole and together, but being vulnerable transparent being able to Be transparent and to be able to just express. Well. Hey I'm working on that that God God's helping me by his grace.

That's the best I can say people can understand that but in today's world what people can't live with is hypocrisy and Duplicity and when they pick it up. They know immediately that you don't love them and they just read it.

Almost especially young people today because they've been betrayed so many times. They just can read it as fast as you walk in the room almost and the third thing has to do with clarity of vision and then that has to do with the fact that we've gone through a change process in the navigator work and all of you have Lived through it longer than I have now.

I've lived through it outside of the u .s. you've lived through it inside the u .s. as Far as all of the changes in the work now I when I talk about clarity of vision. I don't say that with any criticism of the past.

Some of you have expressed to me concerns About the past. I don't live with that. I don't I don't worry about it. I Basically look at where the navigator work has gone and I look at it and I say I think we had to do that.

I remember when Jim Peterson came back in the late 70s from Brazil I had some real struggles with the changes that Jim was bringing but the longer I lived in Canada the more the reality sunk in we have to change and We went through the same Destabilizing thing that we have felt here, but I'd like to just I'm going to elaborate on this to a much greater degree two nights from now, but I've Worked this out with Lauren Sanning and all of our elders.

And I'd suggest to you that in our history it took Dawson Trotman from 1926 to 1934 to launch a ministry. And then what he did from 1934 to about 1950 was the military ministry became our target and then we went through another period of transitioning and repositioning ourselves and They'll talk about our kind of Our elders will are drying up in the grassroots in this area a broadening ministry in terms of going to Billy Graham Working in a number of different places, but nevertheless Losing our edge in the grassroots during this period then in about 1960 Leroy Energized this again, and then we had two target audiences the collegiate and the military from about 1960 roughly until the early 80s.

Now we've gone through another period of repositioning of the work. And it has been very very painful on us because of cultural shifts because of the struggles we've had to face in in a number of different ways the issue of the cities and the community and so on and So as a result, it's taken us a longer period of time to make the adjustment but I think about 1995 somewhere between 95 96 we started to see some real movement in the work now.

We're a long ways from being there, and we don't want to Lie to ourselves and tell us that we have booming ministries all over America. We don't and we've got a tremendous Learning curve, but I do believe and I'll show you from Isaiah 49 in two nights that I Think we're getting ready for a whole new Season of growth and we talked about that today.

We talked about the fact that that we all sense that God is saying something. We're beginning to see it in the grassroots, and I was just down in San San Antonio with Doug benchoff, and I came back and told the community guys.

I said hey Look if you can deliver that one. We've got everything we want in in that ministry as far as what's going on. It's okay by me and I know of a number of other places where that's going on. And I was just up in the northeast and now talking with Dave Bowman and what God is doing on the campus there and some Good things that are happening all the way across the work, and I look at that and I say That's a wonderful thing, but what we need to do is we've also gone through a real Expanding of our target audiences now.

We're into the community. We have different perspectives on ministry. We tend to divide along philosophical lines and What we need is we need to raise the bar in Terms of what it is that unifies us so that we can create an environment where we can work together in harmony and At the same time with clarity of vision and we can do that and I think I can demonstrate to you that that we absolutely can do that and Believe me if we can do it with Muslims in Asia and Make it work.

We can surely do it in America and come together with some core things that we're committed to but with lots and lots of freedom and diversity and So that's where we're going and I want you to get a sense of that because I don't want you to walk out of here tonight listening to a message on brokenness and Not have a broader context because believe me I hope by God's grace that we will light the whole room up in two nights as Far as vision.

I believe that God is going to show us a way to go to America that will touch the body of Christ will allow us to co-labor with the body of Christ Will count allows to do all kinds of things and I believe that it will be something that will be so Motivating that we can take it almost anywhere and and people will get excited about what we want to do.

But like we said today The danger is to jump right to that Without asking the question. Okay. Now Lord, do you want to do something in our lives now? I feel like we live with a little bit of tension there.

Because we have one group here. There's pretty task oriented and they're very outward looking and They're looking at it and they're saying hey look sure we got problems and and That's where we're going and let's work on it as we go.

We got another group that is deeply deeply sensitive to what the Spirit of God is saying and they're saying hey, it's foolish to try to go on when we deny the reality of Difficulties and problems that we have right now in front of us.

Personally, I think we have to stop. Ask the hard questions address it begin to pray and ask God to teach us. But just like the whole issue of brokenness is a cycle where you go through deeper and deeper and deeper cycles.

I think if we get ourselves aware of what the issues are. By God's grace, we can trust the Spirit of God to teach us and to bring us through it. So we can go on but we can also face the realities of where we live.

Now I have my friend rusty. Who's a great reader. I love to hear rusty read the scriptures and I'm going to ask rusty to come and read to us Philippians chapter 2 verses 1 through 11, okay. Philippians 2.

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ if any comfort from his love. If any fellowship with the Spirit if any tenderness and compassion. Then make my joy complete by being like-minded having the same love.

Being one in spirit in purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit but in humility. Consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. Who being in very nature God did not consider equality with God something to be grasped. But made himself nothing taking the very nature of a servant.

Being made in human likeness and being found in appearance as a man. He humbled himself and became obedient to death even death on a cross. Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow in heaven and on earth and under the earth and Every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father.

Aren't we glad? That the Lord Jesus did that for us and Aren't we glad that he was broken for us? Just think of what what he surrendered himself to. Think about what he was willing to do for us. And the Apostle Paul says now have the same attitude.

The same attitude in you that was in the Lord Jesus. That's the attitude. I want you to have. Now let's contrast that for a moment convert. Growing Christian disciple labor disciple maker leader ever.

Ascending maturity in our minds we go up up up up. Now we don't intend to say that but we do. And of course that's in our distant past history. But all of us as we sit here Grew up with that kind of mentality of How ministry works and the problem is is it takes us away from? brokenness.

It moves us away. It gives us a sense that we're getting better and better and better. And of course we'd say well, that's legalism. Now it doesn't mean that we didn't know how to live by grace and doesn't mean that we didn't do a lot that was really Right.

It just means that we had some some basic thinking that we've had to address over the years. Now let's think about What is brokenness? Now, I don't know whether any of you have ever have you read this book?

How many of you read this book broken in the right places Alan Nelson? If you haven't you should sit down and really read it. I'm going to give you another one tomorrow night that you should also sit down and read but Here's what Alan Nelson Nelson says about brokenness, and I think it says a lot.

Brokenness is a yielded heart open before guard God a heart emptied of pride and self claims of all arrogance. Knowing our sin our self-deception our frailty weakness inadequacy. We discover ourselves again to be hungry and thirsty poor and needy.

When we had thought of ourselves full and needing nothing. Along with the awareness comes a rediscovery of God's love mercy and forgiveness his affirmation of us his care for us and claim upon us. Brokenness is not the opposite of wholeness.

It is the continuing precondition for it. Interesting definition of brokenness. It allows us to experience God's grace. It opens us up to God's grace. It's it's the point where kind of the pressures of life bring us to the desperation.

That allows us to cry out for God's grace. Then the result of brokenness is what I said to you later or earlier today brokenness is Surrendering to the will of God without resistance. It allows you inside to simply surrender to the will of God without fighting it and struggling with it.

So that that's not so much a definition of brokenness as it is a result of brokenness. That I can enter into God's grace without resisting his will. Think about all of those things that you struggle with.

The things you don't want to give up. The things that you want to hang on to. Someone asked me today. Well, well, what about brokenness. And I told them I said well the interesting thing is I found. Let's say that this is where I was before I went through what I did with my daughter.

I Sensitivity in terms of brokenness way up here. But after the battle was over the water table receded and I was only changed some. I Wasn't as sensitive as I thought it was and then I find that when the Holy Spirit speaks now I Hear it more quickly than I did before.

But I wish that I had changed a whole lot more than I have and that's kind of the way these experiences were. Now Let me tell you a story about my dad. Because my dad is a broken man. Not broken in the sense that he's broken but broken in the sense that he has experienced the brokenness of the Lord Jesus.

I took home. I took him home took Andy and Marianna home with me a few weeks ago and it was late in the evening. And I knew we were going to walk in the door and I knew exactly what my dad was going to be doing.

Didn't have to think about it. Didn't have to pray about it didn't have to worry about it. I just knew what my dad was going to be doing. I knew that when I turned that knob to our kitchen door I was going to push the door open and my dad was going to be sitting there with his head down Reading his Bible.

I also knew that. That the following morning About five o 'clock in the morning my dad Would be on his knees praying for his family praying all over the world. He's an incredible man. Now if you listen to my dad talk he has trouble speaking the King's English properly and my dad Only has a great eight education.

But I Admire my dad more than any man on this earth. And the reason I love my dad so much is I know so much about him. I Know that my dad was a baseball player. I Know that my dad was a hard-working young man.

I Know that my dad grew up in a family where his father literally beat him to Incredible degrees. His dad was an alcoholic and He made him work like a horse on a farm. And my dad finally left home and I've heard stories all over West Virginia about my dad.

He was a barroom brawler. I Had a man tell me that my dad walked into a bar by himself One night and the bar was basically full. He had been drinking. He got into an argument and my dad literally cleaned the whole bar up by himself.

He's about my height and when he was younger he had arms that big and my dad was a tough man. Growing up my dad was tough. But I watched him change over the years and I watched the experiences changing and the last experience was losing my mother and He loved my mother so much that they were like courting teenagers all their years and Dad would hold my mother up like the most wonderful.

He didn't believe my mother could sin and In fact, sometimes we just dad please tell her to stop because my mother was a wonderful woman but she was a powerful leader and so we we went through that experience and Now I watched my dad and my dad is 85 years old.

Just talked to him on the phone yesterday. My dad says well, I've got to go over and help those old people at the nursing home and They're all younger than he is. But he goes over there every day to help those people.

He's a broken man. He listens to God. My dad hungers and thirst for the word he listens to the Lord and He he doesn't resist God's leading at all. He's just a incredibly marvelous person. Well, that's brokenness.

Taking a man who was a brawler an alcoholic and through the years. Tenderness love. And as soon as my dad and I see one another we just throw our arms around one another. We really love one another. Now, you know, my dad was one who told me one time when I was a little kid.

Well, bud you probably ought to go to great trade school don't think you can make it. That hurt me. My dad would never say that to me today. He looked at me just a few weeks ago, and he said Alan So proud of you.

That's what brings brokenness and the grace of God. It's an incredible change in a man inner Transformation of the work of God that has come through the breaking power of God. Now in the Navigator ministry, I'd suggest to you that I think there are three kinds of brokenness that we Need to look at.

I Need to look at it. We need to look at it. Here sits the leadership of at least the next five years of Navigator history and As we sit here We're charged with future generations. And I think that as we look to the future one of the big keys is going to be how are we going to function in a broken world and Can we minister out of the brokenness that God brings and can we bring break grace to a broken world?

That's going to be the key. Can we bring the love of the Lord Jesus that binds up the broken-hearted? Can we bring the love of the Lord Jesus that sets captives free? Can we bring the love of the Lord Jesus that can comfort those who mourn?

That allows them take to take little ones and Will help them become oaks of righteousness by the grace of God and the key Will be whether we minister out of brokenness brokenness or out of self-righteousness.

Like to suggest to you that the first area we need to look at is the area of Personal brokenness. Turn with me over to Genesis chapter 40. Actually, it's not we're not going to spend that much time there so, you know, we can talk about it, but we have the story here Joseph now.

Notice how Joseph was broken. Joseph grows up in a home. And he's rather arrogant About his gifts. He is Really gifted. He sees things he dreams dreams. He sees visions. He's good really capable and in fact, he's so capable that his brothers can't stand him and so they decide That it's time to get rid of it.

And so they sell him and Off he goes to Egypt. Now. Can you imagine all of the tears of brokenness on the way to Egypt? Leaving your father. Can you imagine what's going on in his heart the pain he must feel.

I Can't I can't even imagine coping with that. But finally he gets to Egypt and when he gets to Egypt Potiphar decides that he can utilize Joseph's services. So things are going great. But Joseph is a young man and Potiphar's wife thinks he looks great.

But Joseph stands in his integrity and he's falsely accused Off to jail. We think well jails bad enough. Then along come the baker and the cupbearer. The baker loses his head, but the cupbearer makes it back to the king and Joseph says Just commend me to Pharaoh and he forgets all about Joseph.

Can you imagine what's going on in Joseph's heart two more years? He's got to wait Every day Living in that probably dungeon. They had to clean him up when they brought him to Pharaoh ever. Just one painful thing after another but then what do you see you see this?

Magnificent man bleeding all of Egypt and you see a man of justice clarity love a lot of the character of God and brokenness. Oh Brokenness works a lot like that. It works through a series of events and life most often not always but it starts out here and It moves a little closer and a little closer and a little closer and then finally something dies inside.

Now I think in my own life I've seen some of that. When I was in Huntington, West Virginia, I hated the Navigators couldn't stand the Navigators and And God had to bring me to a point that I could read Hebrews chapter 6 verses 11 and 14 and say God has called me to the Navigators.

That was a breaking experience. It was a calling but it was a breaking experience. I had to put down everything I had ever said and Turn around and say God is calling me to the Navigators. Then two years later.

I moved to Maryland and I was working in a situation where it was really really difficult. But God tested my calling. Tested it to the nth degree and I had to go through another breaking experience, but it had to do with my own pride and then it was off to the University of Illinois and God blessed in Illinois more than I ever dreamed.

I was the most surprised person in all the world that God would ever do what he did couldn't believe that God was doing that until people started asking me how we did it and When they started asking me how we did it.

My first answer was well, it was just the Lord. Little while later. It was well, maybe we did learn some things. Then we started sharing and Then finally it was well, what's the matter with all of you proud people?

Can't you see that we're doing it right for the whole Navigator world and Then having to come to grips with the fact that I had taken the glory For what God had done. Now is that experience? That prepared me for Canada and For 14 years.

I was able to lead in the Canadian work and one thing I could do was lead and not take the glory. Because it had been too painful and I knew that God had done it. But there's still a lot of things in my own life pride.

Self-righteousness, I'm right. Truth is more important than love. Number of things Brian can remember. And then as I was leading vision 2000 Canada 1989 about 5 in the morning. I Was studying the scriptures no problem in terms of walking with God believing him.

Calling the nation to repent to walk humbly with God. No difficulty with that read Isaiah 49. Isaiah 55. Theme to me that morning was listen, listen to me and I got up from my chair and I walked over to the corner I got on my knees and I only said one thing Very briefly said Lord, whatever you have to do to make me and my family hear your voice do it.

I Meant it. There was no question that I meant every word that I said. But I had no idea of what was in front of me and that's when the whole earth broke loose with my daughter and what I had to do then was learn to cope with the injustices of life and I had to learn to cope with issues in my own life of not necessarily having to be right and Walking into a hospital where my daughter was sitting With a bunch of daughters who had been incest and My I had to go through that period of sitting in that room and looking at those people and saying I don't belong here.

These people are sick. But I don't belong here and I'll never forget tonight. I had the revelation that Alan if you don't lean into this thing and Begin to work with it you're never coming out of here and God forced me to work with it and then to go into a trial and Have your own daughter testify against you and then to literally have to sit there and Talk about the most intimate portions of your sex life.

Just stripped everything at least for a season. Well, but what it did do for me After I went through that and got out on the other side Was one day I was studying first Peter and Psalm 42 and 43. And as I was studying that that passage Psalm 42 verse 3 Send your light and your truth and let them guide me to your holy mount Lord.

Just use your x-ray. Unload it on me. Let me let me let me see it. Whatever is there Deal with it just so frustrated Lord anything. I don't know what's in there. I don't even know myself anymore. All I know is whatever it is.

Show me what it is so that I can get out of this mess and get on the other side of it and walk with You and that was the beginning Of the recovery both for me and my family. Now we all live through difficulties injustices in life and Somehow we have to come to the point that we can live out the will of God without resisting.

Now all I can tell you is in my own life. If I had not learned that lesson, I would not be standing here tonight. Had to learn To give it up. I had to learn to let go of it and let God Shine his light into my inner being and let him do anything He wants to do.

And I could tell you more about that experience, but I'm not. Now let's talk about personal brokenness in relationship to the Navigators. First I mentioned to you that the residual theology of Sanctification that lies somewhere in the back of all of our minds that somehow we get better and better and better and It creates a sense of self-righteousness if we're not careful and then in leadership.

It creates a sense of condemnation of people and a judgmental spirit. So that we see weaknesses in others. From it from a position of strength we look on others and see their sin that's not brokenness and The world that we live in can't handle that and it is not the love of the Lord Jesus.

We are well educated People we're pretty capable people in the flesh. But think about the Navigators very very humble beginnings. Think about all those who've gone before us. Think about how much suffering has gone on to bring the Navigator work to where it is today.

Think about how we benefit from so much that has gone on before but if we're not careful our education our capabilities. That have allowed us to function well as human beings in the world and the grace of God that gives us the ability.

And the victory to function fairly well in this world if we're not careful. We take credit for it and We begin to look at the rest of the world and we begin to say I don't know what's wrong with you. That's scary.

Because it can bring us into a ministry that that allows again us to be of self-righteous people rather than a broken grace-filled people also positions of leadership. When you live inside of an organization there is no matter how hard we work at it there develops a hierarchy and With that hierarchy comes to some degree whether we like it or not power and Sometimes we love power as leaders and the question is is can we turn that power?

Into servanthood and Into a broken and contrite heart. Oh God, you will not despise and will allow us to minister to others out of grace and love. Rather than out of power Independence, there's something in our vision spiritual multiplication.

That says I agree with Scott. We need to ask the question. Where's your man? Where's the one your woman or where's the? What what is God doing in your life, absolutely, but Spiritual multiplication says it's my ministry.

I Did it? The danger is to lose sight of the grace of God and what he did Raj. I loved what you said today and as you prayed Over just the grace of God in doing and praising God for for what he's doing in in the BNP ministry but our own vision keeps us from being team players and it keeps us from cooperating with one another and it creates potentially a spirit of Independence if we're not careful and When we think about those things we need to ask ourselves now.

Are we broken enough to cooperate with one another to live and minister together? Can we honor one another Can we defer to one another's gifts? Are we broken enough to say Lord allow that person to move ahead of me?

Can I defer to another person? Availability. Well, I can't move. I don't want to move it. Just it just wouldn't be right. Darrell was saying one time Everybody's for moving as long as they move to be with me and we're kind of an apostolic organization and if we don't surrender some of these rights and Let go of them and listen to the Lord Jesus.

My question is is how we ever get where we're going in terms of our ministry now I throw those out as questions not so much. I'm not throwing them out and saying hey You you leaders we're we're sinning.

The other day I was thinking about myself and moving and I thought well, I don't really want to move either. But I think I would If God called and I think that we have we got to look at ourselves and ask ourselves.

Do we really see? How how deeply indebted we are to God's grace and To the mercy of the Lord Jesus and coming to us and being broken and if the Lord Jesus can be broken coming from on high Taking off his robes of righteousness and coming and living among us as a servant.

Can't we do that? What about being comfortable in ministering in an upper middle income bracket? Navigators always get mad at me for saying that I live in an upper middle income bracket. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being there.

There are people there who are wounded broken all of those things. It's fine we probably most of us will stay there, but what if God spoke to one of us and God said I want you to be a missionary to the poor.

Are we broken enough to do it to take off our robes of riches and go connect? with the poor. I Have a feeling if we're going to go where God wants us to go. He's going to call some of us to give it up and to go do it.