A Wounded Spirit and Destroyed Life's — Keith Daniel

A Wounded Spirit and the Ability to Endure Trials

Proverbs 18 14. But the spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity god promises. The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity will enable him to survive life's trials and hardships god promises. You see god has made us he's made a man that in his innermost being and spirit he will be able to endure great sorrows sufferings wrongs tragedies.

The spirit of a man god says will sustain him in his infirmity will sustain his infirmity his weaknesses. But the next half of the verse says. But a wounded spirit a wounded spirit who can bear. Who will survive if that happens.

How can a person survive then if that spirit that god put in our innermost being as he made us is destroyed. If the immune system of the human heart and mind is destroyed. Who will survive then if that happens.

Family Tragedy and Responsibility for Destroying a Life

I was deeply saddened a short while ago when some family i had known for many years suffered a great tragedy. You see the mother of that house committed suicide. She killed herself in a most gruesome way.

But my sorrow was deepened a hundred times more when at the funeral her youngest teenage son broke down publicly at that funeral and sobbed and then rose up in anger at that funeral and screamed at his father.

Daddy you killed her. You killed my mother. Daddy you always undermined her. You always found fault with her no matter how hard she tried. Daddy you always found fault with her and undermined her and complained until she lost the will to live.

Daddy but you you daddy did this. Nothing else no one else. Daddy you killed my mother. Tonight i want to address this fearful thought. When we must accept responsibility for the destruction of someone's life.

When we must accept responsibility for the destruction of someone's life. My wife and i when we were first married 30 something years ago they positioned us and allocated us as a mission to a very beautiful part of our country to 12 acres of lawns and trees and landscapes in the sea.

It was so beautiful the gardens and away from the cities of africa. And people who were weary and wanted a haven away from the city and the bustle of life and the din of the cities would come there the godly especially to stay on those grounds which were for christian conferences and to just find peace and that tranquility.

We met many godly people who we allowed to come and stay there for the three years we were stationed there as a base as young missionaries. One man arrived a godly man with a wife that just shook my heart.

And my wife's heart was greatly saddened. She was like a child. His wife was like so mentally retarded and broken down mentally that he had to lead her to even get from one room to the other. She couldn't.

She didn't know one thing. The left hand from her right. He would lead her and she would hobble along with this smile and giggling. Her mind was gone. He had to clothe her bathe her feed her with a spoon white.

She couldn't feed herself. He couldn't take his eyes off her. Even in that circumstance of 12 acres of protection. He had to watch all the time and look because within seconds she was walking onto the roads just going just not knowing what she was doing.

And of course she would have been killed even in our circumstances. But one night my wife carefully looked at him and said. Sir what happened to your wife. Surely no one would have married a woman in this condition.

When did this happen. How did this happen. What happened to your wife. He hung his head down this man and after a few moments of quietness he said these words. It was her children. They so rebelled they so stood up against her.

They caused us so much distress in their rebellion in their rejection of her authority of our authority of our attempt to keep them from wrongs and compromises. And they caused her so much distress that one day the eldest child became so angry with her and she lost control in her distress at her children's rebellion and rejection of all authority.

And her mind just crumbled as she shouted she just sunk down in a human form onto her knees crumbled physically. Her mind broke. That night we took her to psychologists to homes and hospitals. Over the next few years christian psychologists everything we could.

But her mind just continued to deteriorate till she became like this like a vegetable. She doesn't know anything. There was quietness in the room when he said that. Then i said sir did she profess to be saved before this happened to her.

Oh yes. For many years did her children profess to be saved. When this happened he put his head down. Oh yes. Oh yes. Then he said weeping. But they will never forgive themselves as they look at their mother.

There's not an occasion they don't hang their heads down in shame when we must accept responsibility for the destruction of someone's life. It's a fearful thought. I was in a home where a young fellow began to shout at his mother.

He did profess to be saved. But he had this anger. And he shouted and spoke to her in the most ungodly way. And i was so shocked. She said these words as he left the room. He seems to think brother keith.

He thinks i'm the only one in the whole world he can vent all his anger upon that will still continue to love him in spite of it. Now listen carefully child don't do this. You be careful. Don't make a punch bag of your mother forever to exert all your frustration upon.

But let me reword this to exert all your frustration with yourself upon one day. This could cause you great sorrow. But you will never forgive yourself. Be careful. The great tragedy concerning these incidents is that these incidents happened in professing christian's homes.

That to me makes it a unique tragedy. It is fearful that professing christian a professing christian can become so cruel to others in their own home that they could destroy someone's life. I believe god does not command us.

God does not command us. He implores us compassionately in his word when he cries out children obey your parents. Obey thy mother and thy father. For this is right in the sight of god. Honor thy father and mother.

Don't break her spirit. Don't destroy your mother. Don't. You think that can't happen. Do you think anyone when it did happen ever considered that that could happen. Husbands love your wives. A compassionate god of infinite wisdom cries to our hearts.

He cries to christians. To christian children. He cries it out to christian husbands. Why. Because it's possible you could destroy her. Being a christian doesn't mean you are going to be what is required for that woman's survival.

Be not bitter against them. God implores it's possible that you can come to bitterness. Bitterness is the deepest form of anger. It borders on hatred. It involves hatred in its context. You could come to actually be so bitter against your wife as the weaker vessel god cries out.

Give honor to her as under the weaker vessel. Do you know what that says. In spite of her being weak weaker than you in its context. Don't destroy her because of that. Don't break her spirit by not listening and considering god's compassionate cry to you of what's needed for the survival of your wife.

Be careful brother. You treat her carefully. You be careful before your son accuses you one day that you destroyed his mother's life. And you think that won't happen. You think that won't happen in 45 years.

The Destructive Power of Negativity

You cannot believe what i have seen in christian hall. We must guard ourselves christians from falling into an abyss of negativeness in this life. We must guard ourselves against falling into an abyss of negativeness for the rest of our lives.

Complaining about everything till you cannot see anything in a positive light. You only have anger at everyone everyone's imperfections. Christians. It is tragically possible. It is tragically possible.

Beware of this. For a christian to sink into an abyss of negativeness in this life and become negative about everything which could eventually break the spirit of a loved one. It is not that you're always negative too.

It is stunning how god tells us from the very first verse concerning a woman. Why he made a woman now. This is not what i say. So don't be angry with me. This is god. He saw this man and said it's not good for a man to be alone.

I memorized 700 verses a few years ago and every single verse in marriage from the beginning of the bible to the end and quoted it. And there was devastation on every aspect of marriage as god says it because the word of god is no longer preached or heard of what god says concerning marriage from the first verse of the bible to the end of the entire scriptures.

And you start with this verse. How god looked at man when he created him in genesis 2 and said it's not good for a man to be alone. I will make for him and help meet for him. Should the lord god cause the deep sleep to fall upon adam.

And there god created woman taken from man. For what reason. I will make for him and help meet for him. Now that word is staggering that god almighty had this in his heart in making a woman. The help meet.

Job's Wife and the Danger of Becoming an Instrument of Satan

The encouraged of this man job was the godliest man on earth according to god. And satan didn't challenge that. There's none like him in the earth a perfect and an upright man one that feareth god and essueth evil.

He hates evil satan. Now when god stood back to do what this world is intended to be the battlefield between god and satan for man's heart his own free will to choose and face the consequences for eternity.

It is beyond human comprehension what god allowed satan to do to job to prove his faith. But what is also beyond comprehension is the help meet. God gave him the wife of the godliest man on earth. What she said to him in her negativeness when things went wrong and they did go wrong.

But trust me i used to think no one ever knew such devastation as job. I have been in homes where equal and even worse things happened to christians. But she turned and she said in her devastation and negativeness about everything she told him to do what satan told god he would make him do to curse god just take away all his privileges.

Let things go wrong. When things go right men shout hallelujah. But just take away every privilege. And let's see whether he loves thee for thyself and not just for privileges. It seems to happen in christianity.

Doesn't it. Well everything was taken. Devastation came upon his life. And she turns and she says to him word perfect what satan said to god he would make him do. She became the instrument of the devil.

The help meet. She turns and says does thou still retain thine integrity. Do you still believe that you're righteous. Do you still profess to be righteous. When everything comes against you you must be wicked.

Does thou still retain thine integrity. Curse god. Curse god and die. She said. Here she says word perfect what satan wanted to happen. She told him to do what satan wanted him ultimately to do what helped me to the godliest man on earth at that time.

Be careful. Negativeness can make you destroy what you were meant lady to help to survive. Be careful when things go wrong i mean wrong that you don't become the instrument of satan. Let alone the help meet that god intend.

Teaching Children Through Example

Continual continual embracing of negative thoughts and negative statements will affect you mentally. Continual embracing of negative thoughts and negative statements will eventually affect you mentally even if you're saved.

And it could destroy you mentally till you are self-destructive. And once that happens to a christian they see nothing nothing but wrong in everything and everyone beginning with those closest to them.

You could break down the will to survive of others in your home if you allow yourself to embrace negativeness in your thoughts and mind and to make negative statements about everything that happens when you go into an abyss of negativeness.

My son roy is a preacher. He is a missionary and a godly young fiery preacher at that. But he's just got married to a young american lady in pennsylvania moscow scranton now that was two saturdays ago where i preached at his wedding and her father jerusalem hargett's father uh independent baptist man he can married them performed the ceremony.

So the two fathers happened to have that privilege for their children. Now before they were married. When i was last year a year ago in america i sat in jerusalem's grandfathers and grandmothers home godly people.

And he said something staggering at the table. Concerning his granddaughter he said brother keith we trust that jerusalem has been prepared by god to be a good wife to some missionary or preacher such as roy daniel.

We trust that we have prepared her for that for the mission field. You see brother her mother bethany she was never ever given any example in this home. Not once. She was never ever taught to complain when things aren't perfect by us.

She was never ever taught to murmur. We didn't teach our children in this home. We never gave them one incident where they could say we were murmurers or complainers when nothing's right when things go wrong and they go wrong in every family.

Brother. And we believe with all our heart that bethany our daughter and her husband tim they also taught their children not to complain. They also rejected negative statements and negative thoughts and responses when things became negative as they do.

And we believe that jerusalem will be no complainer no murmurer. You see brother keith a missionary will face 10 times more hardships than any other christian on earth. A preacher and a ministry a missionary puts themselves into the position on the front line of the battle where they will have to face 10 times more of the onslaughts of satan than any other christian on earth.

And the last thing a missionary needs is a negative wife. So brother i hope we as a family have done well for your son in what we have done in our daughter. And that has been done in our granddaughter to prepare her to be some good wife to someone who wants to serve god where everything is going to go wrong if he's on the front line of the battle.

I was blessed by that. I was blessed by the godly grandfather who gave that one reason as why it's a good thing. His granddaughter was marrying our son beloved. We must place responsibility on ourselves for the good that is found in others so that they can triumph in the christian faith beginning in our home.

I want to repeat that we must place responsibility on ourselves for the good that is found in others so that they can triumph in the christian faith beginning in our home. One of the most revered preachers in our country in southern africa one of the most truly revered respected and loved preachers across the whole of south africa fell into tragic sin.

Marital Betrayal, Neglect, and the Need for Love

He left his godly wife for a young woman after years and years of facing the onslaughts of all the liberal christianity there is and not compromising and fearlessly preaching truth and gaining the respect of the entire nation's christian community true christians.

That is he threw it all away lost every bit of respect all his ministry buried. He was deroged excommunicated unable not able to ever be in a pulpit again in his life all thrown away for a young woman in his older age.

And my heart broke because i had been in his home many times and loved them as i had preached in his pulpit. Well i eventually saw his wife after this tragedy and she was broken and bent and her eyes swollen and the tears swiftly to her eyes as she came near anyone who just looked at her with pity.

There was a group and i said to her lady i am so shamed at what your husband has done. I'm so saddened and so shamed and i am so sorrowing for you at the grief in your heart of his betrayal and all he's lost of what he did for god in such a short moment of life just lost everything.

I'm so sorry but i want to tell you lady you remain in my esteem as one of the godliest women on earth. In spite of him doing this your integrity is intact and the love we all feel for you in spite of what he's done remains intact.

Tears streamed down her face as she looked at me and she said come here come here. I knelt down on the floor in front of her to get down to her level as she was sitting. Listen. You listen carefully to me boy.

Listen carefully to me keith. I need to tell someone this desperately. It wasn't altogether his fault keith. I have had time to reflect keith i have had much time to reflect since he deserted me for that young woman and i have come to realize it wasn't altogether his fault keith.

You see i had become so negative for a long time toward him in a subtle way subconsciously it just was criticizing him undermining him for virtually nothing. I had gotten to a negative frame of mind keith.

And he lacked love keith that he needed as a man. I'm so sorry to tell you that my boy he didn't go off looking for sin. Keith when he walked out of that door that day with his bible she wasn't looking for sin keith her husband had deserted her for some other woman her children were devastated and she was devastated destitute of a man that just left her to the dog.

And there she was in her brokenness and here he comes. And he didn't realize he was going to be alone with that woman. The circumstances just suddenly evolved for something he wouldn't normally be in.

And in that moment something happened as he was showing compassion to her in her heart toward this older man. She found an attraction to the kindness the warmth the gentleness. And she reached out. And brother keith he had lacked love for so long from me that when it reached out to him he must have found it hard to say no to him when someone genuinely loved him and wanted him.

I don't excuse his sin keith i don't excuse the wrong of what he's done. It is unforgivable being a preacher doing that to his ministry into christ's name. But keith i have to face jesus one day. And i'm not going to face christ for the rest of my life lying by blaming him and letting everybody else judge him like you are.

It wasn't altogether his fault it was mine. And i realized that my boy accepting the responsibility for the destruction of someone else's life is not easy. On this tour a matter of a week or two ago i was with a lovely godly woman and others in a room that had known her all from childhood.

They had grown now they're all seeking god. And i've had the privilege of fellowshipping with these families most of which have come from great brokenness and grief and suffering which i won't go into.

But this one woman who is so godly she said something with me as i said to her your husband of all the years i've been coming here to this town something's happened to him. He always seemed to not really have his heart and he's missing meetings and he's just hasn't got any joy.

There was just something broken about him. Now this time i see this man ablaze for god wanting to be in every meeting. She said these words and i asked her for permission to repeat this from the pulpit of god without betraying her or him.

But i asked her then to write down what she said. She said keith my children eventually have left our home till there was not one. The last one left our home and i felt suddenly so empty when those children were gone because my husband though a good man he had neglected me in many ways for many years he had become occupied with his work.

He drowned himself in his work and neglected me and the children. I loved my husband. I cried to god daily to turn his heart toward me by reaching him and making himself a reality to my husband that he could love me as a christian and not disappear and neglect me and the children.

But nothing changed for years until one day keith when my last child left the home and got married and he saw my devastation. He saw my sorrow. I looked at him and said that our daughter leaving that there's no one.

It's a small thing. The sorrow i feel compared to the sorrow i would feel if i lost him. If i lost him i said i would be devastated not just sorrow. Sure are we. The following months something happened we hadn't anticipated in this recession of america and world recession economically we lost our home because the work just came to an end and different things caused us to have to sell our home.

And now we're living in a little trailer. And my husband confessed in brokenness that he knew it was his irresponsibility that led to this. Then he asked for forgiveness. I looked at him and said to him that he was more important to me than a million homes.

And so long as i've got him i don't care where we live or what circumstances we have to face. Something happened as i said that in his eyes and in his heart he began to seek god. He began to function as a christian and he began to love me in a way i have never experienced since our marriage.

He became tender and kind to me. Now she said i believe there are moments for wives windows of opportunity that we can either make or break a man. Those moments are when he is a very low time and ebb of his life.

A time when he sees his failure and he realizes other others witness his failure as a provider as a husband. But somehow instead of being negative and condemning him for his failures but expressing my deepest sentiments of love for him when he was at his lowest instead of condemning him it touched the depth of his heart in a way that made him rise up to be everything i've wanted all through these years.

And that is why he is now seeking god. Keith you might be the reason he's such a mess. He might have changed if you had changed from negativeness and in spite of failures and wrongs to show him love and respect would have made him and not broken him.

But he died a failure. I was overseas in some country at the beginning of this year where i stayed in the home of a very godly family a very large family and these children of this godly woman and godly husband they had a tribe not just a family.

Parenting, Authority, and the Effects of Family Example

They believed in children but the children loved christ. And i was so touched at these godly children at the table their manners their conduct their integrity their transparency their humility and their love for god and the word and the things of god as i preached i just knew this family stood out and i commended them.

But this lady said something tragic. She said brother you haven't met all my children before you commend me and my husband. You see brother when i was a preacher's wife and our first three children were born in a preacher's home with a preacher's wife as their mother i had in short grace to be able to be in subjection as god's word continually cries out to the wife from the heart of god to enable that man to be the head of the home to be the priest of the home.

I stood up and argued against him on his decisions on his choices on his values and i got my way. Brother i was so strong-willed. But the children witnessed that what god says a woman shouldn't be in a christian home what god asks a woman not to be as my humble just crumb.

My husband has crumbled. And one thing after the other that i won the battle on every issue because i wouldn't be in subjection. But when i saw the damage going on in that home and the atmosphere and even his heart beginning to crumble i began to seek god desperately to give me the grace to be humble to give me the grace to not win the battle or have the last word to give me the grace to be in subjection to my husband that god asks of all women who name the name of christ and god began to give me the grace as i sought him desperately.

Now brother from that moment every child that was born after that follows christ. The three that witnessed my rebellion and my lack of grace to be able to be in subjection they do not want god they follow satan.

So i could tell you they just chose to be there. Or otherwise. I could tell you brother that every child that was born into this home from the day i found grace to be in subjection and submission to let him be the head of the home to let him be the heap pipe the priest of the house.

Every child born from that time on which follows god with all their heart soul and might. But the children when i was not obedient to god before i became obedient to god as a wife hate god brother one even hates me and you won't meet.

An 87 year old woman walked up to me a few weeks ago in some conference here in america and she told me how years ago when i first came to america her godly husband and her would travel far to come to the convention.

This particular convention he was dead now for seven years. But her children made a special occasion of bringing her after these years that she hasn't attended since her husband's death. She wanted to come and hear my wife speaking to the ladies and to hear my messages again.

So i looked at this godly old 87 year old woman and her son and the children that were there all grown up and she began to share all her children. Now she has many children. She's one of these people who believe in tribes not in families.

Every single child is a full-time working for god on the mission field across the world. Every single child from that woman's womb serves god in a full-time capacity throughout this world. I said lady you did something right.

Not every home can testify that. Not every christian home can testify that. Every single child you did something right. She says. No i made mistakes says god's grace. But there is one thing i did do right seeing as you say it that way.

And only one thing that i can attribute to the reason all of my children serve god in full-time capacity with every breath in their body. From young people they started serving god. There's one thing i did right.

Brother keith i asked god for grace from when we were first married to be in subjection to my husband in obedience to god's command to me if i was to profess to be truly saved and right. And god gave me that grace.

Brother keith i never once in my children's life as they were in our home i never once stood up and took the side of the child against their father when the children were to be disciplined though he might have made mistakes.

Brother key. And he did. And i sometimes thought in my heart perhaps it would have been better doing it. But i never challenged him. I never took away his authority and challenged him and humiliated him and took the side of the children against him.

I never broke him down you see i just prayed and stood beside him. But i never stood up with the children against their father on any decision he made of any discipline he made. And brother i watched my children all serving god.

But i looked at preachers all around me over the years and other christians and the rebellion of their children the anger of their children the hatred against god of their children. I began to question.

And brother i asked him straight out about this one thing. And every single home where there was this rebellion said to me that they haven't got the grace to be in subjection to their husband. He is not the head of the home they are.

He is not the priest of the home they are. Brother i don't know people will disagree with me. But i can't think of anything else in my life that i did that i can attribute as to why my children followed god and went out as missionaries and thought of nothing else than that grace god gave me because i desperately required it from the day i was married.

Responsibility for Children’s Spiritual and Emotional Wounds

It's hard to accept responsibility for other people's failures destruction spiritually even our own children. It's very very hard to come to that place just once in your life before you die. Oh how i met young men and women on this tour alone across america broken smashed crushed destroyed complex hurting creatures from christian homes preachers homes and every single one of them.

This is staggering to me. When i asked about that home they said no. It wasn't a happy home. Why almost word perfect one place after the other. One young man or woman after mother and father are both saved.

The only trouble is one wanted conservative christianity the other wanted compromise and liberal christianity. And this conflict of standards. We were so confused. I won't say it but i'll say it for them.

They didn't say it. We were destroyed. Or don't you think. That's the reason they're all like that most. Anyway there is unique occasions. Let me tell you we're very godly homes. We're not responsible for the destruction of their children in our mission.

They have wanted to get rid of quite a lot of missionaries over the 45 years. I've preached the 44 years this year and i've said no give them more time. But they're doing damage. They've such problem personalities.

They're so problems. There's just destruction. They're not doing the will of god. It's not right to allow them to stay in and destroy the work of god and destroy the mission's credibility. Being in our mission i said listen.

I have been in their parents home because i travel so broadly. And i've stayed in so many homes a few days. If you want to know where 99 of the problems you're facing that you want to get them out of our mission because of those problems.

If you want to know where it comes from come into those homes their father and mother's homes for a day or two or three. And you'll know where 99 of the problems we're facing are not their choice to be what you know where those problems come from.

Just being in the home. You give them time for god to undo the damage their parents caused in their personalities. Wise. Don't break your husband's spirit with an abyss of negativeness toward him that he crumbles of self-respect and hope.

He cannot rise up to be the head of the house the priest of the house because of you. That will destroy him spiritually. And your children. What do you think. God asks these things for no reason of you other than that you just obey him.

If there's no deep compassionate cry to you before you destroy others lives that you brought into the world and try to bring to by being what you shouldn't be lady the priest and the head of the home no matter what hell you put them through.

You won't submit you fathers don't break your child's spirit. You can know how many have. Don't be so bitter with life that you always speak to them with negativeness and reveal negativeness to everything in the home.

You will destroy their life. Fathers provoke not your children to anger lest they be discouraged. He's writing to christian sorry. You can do that that word lest they be discouraged. You want to take the greek.

Don't break their spirit. You do that fathers if you're negative when you shouldn't be toward them always negative. Be careful. You will break their spirit till the day they die. Provoke not your children.

Fathers to wrath to anger. Don't make them angry. Not because of their sin but because of yours and the way you bring them up. Bring them up in the nurtured admonition of the lord. Let christ bring them up through you to the degree you are yielded to jesus christ.

To that degree you can live the life christ asks of you. Don't reject your children. That is tragic. I met a man who was such a disaster and self-destruction and negative about himself and everybody that he couldn't function as a christian.

And he put his home through a taste of hell on earth through the years when he died. Three weeks before he died he prayed with me. And for three weeks he lived the christian life after attempting to live the christian life for something like 40 something years with all his heart.

And he couldn't function when he died. I said to his sister who is also very godly i said there's always a broader picture of why a person would be like he was one total mess of a human. They're always.

There's no such a thing as they're not being a broader picture. There's a reason if someone's life is destroyed like this if he couldn't function as a human and be just one big total tragic mess. What's the reason.

She looked at me for a while her eyes welled up with it was my mother she said. She showed no love to him only condemned and criticized everything he did from a little boy till she died. Why. No one knows.

Father as he was dying said i think it's because she was in labor for so long and so suffered and nearly died herself in the labor bringing him into this world that she hated him. But other than that i cannot think of any reason why she so hated that boy.

One night he thought she was being positive and kind to him and he stood up and smiled mother and she said not you stupid. And he crumbled physically onto the floor. And he remained crumbled from that night till three weeks before he died.

When after he prayed with you brother she destroyed her son by being unable to be positive toward him in any aspect whatever the reasons no one knows. I sat with satanists. Two boys with this mohawk hairstyle big metal things all over them rock under the word of god.

Causing Children to Stumble and the Judgment of Christ

One crawling on his face sobbing so violently that i became fearful. I prayed with him. But then i called a friend who had brought them. I said listen to me. Tell me about these boys. Something made them like this.