Godly Marriages - 2.following Godly Principles in Marriage — Zac Poonen

I've often said that when you build a building the foundation is very important and a lot of problems that can come on the third, fourth floor may be caused by bad foundation or the first floor is not very strong.

So it's very good to think of your marriage like building a house and it's very good to be able to, right from the time you are married, to have a good foundation and make sure there are no cracks. If there are, fix it.

Don't imagine that it will automatically, you get a crack in a wall, do you think it will automatically fix itself? Never. You have to do something there to fix it otherwise it will never fix itself. So people who imagine the crack will automatically take care of itself later on, it doesn't happen.

God's Instructions for Marriage

So I want to share some things along that line. Let's turn to Ephesians and chapter 5, Ephesians 5 and everybody knows this is the great chapter on husband-wife relationships and it's important to see how it begins.

Not wives be subject to your husbands, verse 22, but beginning with 18, 17 rather. Don't be foolish, very, very good word for husbands and wives. Don't be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is because God has a plan for marriage and that is the most perfect plan.

I often call it the manufacturer's instructions. If you buy a washing machine or a dryer or any expensive gadget, even a car, there'll come a little booklet called manufacturer's instructions. What you should plug in first and which switch you should turn off and turn on.

Even using a computer, if you run a program, it tells you how to do it. Do you believe that your marriage is more important than any electronic gadget you buy, even if the electronic gadgets cost 30, 40 ,000 rupees?

Your marriage is more important than all that and do you believe Almighty God would have left us without any instructions? He has given us instructions. Those instructions are in the Bible. So if you try to run your marriage, not according to the Bible, but according to your own bright ideas or what you call your bright ideas are not really your bright ideas.

They are ideas you have got from others and I'll tell you where you've got it from. If you're unconverted for many years, you got it from the cinemas. You got it from romantic novels that you read. You got it perhaps from your parents.

Cultural Models of Marriage Versus Christian Marriage

See, for example, in the average Indian village, the husband is like a king and the wife is like a, what's the word? Did I hear queen? No, servant. That's the thing. If she were queen, it'd be wonderful, but she's not a queen.

It's a king and a servant and the children grow up seeing that. Here's a boy growing up in a home where mom's like a servant, dad's like a king. 30 years later, he gets married. What does he expect his wife to be?

Queen? No, servant. That is our Indian culture. So now I say I'm not, I don't believe in Western culture either. There's a difference. You see that even in weddings. All Western marriages, this is how it goes.

The bridegroom comes in. Everybody will be sitting. Nobody stands up for the bridegroom because he's a useless fellow in any case. He comes and stands there, meekly. And then they start the service. Jesus has also come.

And who comes in last after the singing starts? The Maharani. And they sing the, here comes the bride, they play, and she walks in. That is Western culture. Eastern culture, I'm not talking about general Indian, but you see in the villages and all the Hindu marriages, the man comes riding a horse.

You think there's a horse for the wife? No. She walks beside the horse because she's supposed to be a servant. So in Western culture, it is the bride who is the most important. In Eastern culture, it is the bridegroom who is most important.

They say, here comes the bridegroom. They say, here comes the bride. In a Christian marriage, we say, here comes the Lord. He's most important. Even in the way they, you know, get married. How is it in Indian culture?

How is it with all of you? How many of you wives will say, my husband came on bended knee and said, will you marry me? No. I sat there and she came asking, can I marry this man? I said, okay. She's a big Maharaja sitting there and the price has to be fixed in some marriages.

She comes begging and he graciously finally says yes. In an Eastern marriage, in a Western marriage, it's the man who goes after the woman and they have to bend their knees and say, will you marry me?

Here's a ring. And she boasts all her life. I never went after her. Went after him. He came and proposed to me. And I graciously said yes. Because she's the woman there. In Indian marriages, the man says, I never went after her.

It would be disgraceful for me to go after a girl. She came begging. Her parents came to the house, begged for me and I, okay. I'll think about it. And after some time I said yes. In a Christian marriage, we say the Lord brought us together.

It's an entirely different flavor. Can you say that? It's all a question of how you start your married life. So don't be foolish. But understand the will of God in marriage. Just because God wants the wife to be subject to the husband doesn't mean that he has to be a Maharaja.

Servant Leadership and Mutual Honor

Jesus was not a Maharaja. He refused to be a king. Once they wanted to make him a king, he ran away. He said, I'm not coming here to be a king. I've come here to be a servant. But what type of servant?

A servant leader. Not a servant who meekly obeys his bossy wife. Is that the picture you get of Jesus? Meekly obeying Peter and James, whatever they tell him. No. He washed their feet. But he was their leader.

That's the type of husband a husband must be. One who is willing to wash the wife's feet but is the leader in the home. It's a balance. Don't be foolish. But understand what the will of the Lord is. Don't get your ideas from Eastern culture or Western culture.

They are both wrong. They are corrupted by sin, corrupted by Adam's nature, and corrupted by the devil. We want to follow Christian culture where we value one another. That is why, like somebody said, God didn't take Eve out of Adam's skull bone.

So that she bosses over him. And God didn't take Eve out of the feet bones. So that he treads over her. But God took maid Eve from which bone? From the rib. Can you tell me was it left rib or right rib?

Which do you think? It's not written in scripture. What's your guess? Right? Why left? The heart is there. That's right. I think it was the left. You know my favorite verse. I have no commandment from the Lord but I give an opinion.

From 1 Corinthians 7. Okay. I believe it was here. And when you get to heaven ask the Lord. Where did you take it from Lord? Was that right? He will say it was right. Because it was near the heart. Because he wanted Adam not to boss over his wife or to be ruled by his wife.

But to keep his wife near his heart. All the time. So that's very important. So and what is the will of the Lord? For your life to. You know we are leading on to marriage by the way in verse 23 onwards.

Being Filled With the Holy Spirit

Don't get drunk with wine. For that is dissipation but be filled with the Holy Spirit. So what is the most important exhortation for marriage? You know what it is? Be filled with the Holy Spirit. He's not talking here about preaching.

He's talking here about marriage. He's not talking here about speaking in tongues. He's talking about marriage. How shall we begin? Don't be foolish. Understand the will of the Lord. Be filled with the Holy Spirit.

And I believe the fundamental reason. Why there are so many problems in married life. Despite all the counseling sessions. Despite all the teaching of psychology. Is because they are not filled with the Holy Spirit.

And the fundamental reason they are not filled with the Holy Spirit is. They are not eager to be filled with the Holy Spirit. That's the reason. Why am I not filled with the Holy Spirit? Well you're not desperate.

You know the one place in the scripture where Jesus said. How much more will your heavenly father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him. Do you know where that is? You don't know? It's in Luke 11.

Turn there for a moment. Because he's telling us there how we can receive the Holy Spirit. You know you may think your problems are this that and the other. I want to tell you in Jesus name. Those are not your problems.

You think your wife is like that. Your husband is like that. That's not the reason. The reason is you are not filled with the Holy Spirit. So don't be foolish but understand the will of the Lord. Be filled with the Holy Spirit.

Okay Luke 11 .13. If you being evil know how to give good gifts to your children. How much more will your heavenly father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him. How many of you have asked him? And he told us how to ask also.

Not just ask but how to ask. How to ask is very important. I'll tell you how to ask. Verse 5. Supposing one of you has got a friend. Goes to him at midnight and says friend lend me three loaves. For a friend of mine has come to me from a journey.

And I have nothing to say before him. Now I want you to see a picture here. Of husband and wife. Okay. Two people in a home. Maybe it's the husband who goes. Who wants to provide three loaves to his wife.

Or the wife wants to provide three loaves to the husband. The meaning here is. I mean here it's a friend. But I want to take this as a picture of husband and wife. The husband is hungry for something.

The wife is hungry for something. I don't mean physical food. Something the husband needs. Something the wife needs. And you can be an irresponsible husband or wife. Like this friend could have said. When his friend came to his house at midnight.

Hey listen I don't have any food. Just go to bed man. Don't make a fuss over food. The guy is hungry. Maybe he came from a long journey. He hadn't had any food for three days. And you send him to bed.

Go to sleep. He's dying of hunger. And that's how your wife is. Or your husband is. There's a need there. Which you don't seem to be bothered about. You say forget it. That's not a big problem. It may not be a big problem for you.

Because your stomach is full. But that person is hungry. So what does this chap do? See that as a husband or a wife. Goes to the neighbor. And the neighbor is God by the way. Should be. It's a picture of God.

But here it is a picture of a reluctant neighbor. He knocks and says hey I want some food. I don't have it. The first thing you need to acknowledge is. I don't have that ability. To meet my wife's need.

Or my husband's need. I think the problem is with her. Or the problem is not with her or him. God gave you as a partner to meet that need. Not just to take care of yourself. But to meet the need of your partner.

I don't know whether all of you recognize. That God gave you to each other. To meet a certain need in the other person. Which he or she cannot meet themselves. God gave you to meet that need. Okay. So he knocks and from inside that guy says.

Hey don't bother me. The door is already shut. We're seven. My children are in bed. I can't get up and give you anything. Now how many of you will keep on knocking. If somebody shouts from inside. Get away man.

Don't disturb me. I'm asleep. My children are asleep. You'll wake them up. How many of you will knock at a neighbor's house like that. Even if it's a good friend. I don't think I will. I mean I've got neighbors here.

I don't want. First of all I won't even go to their house at midnight asking for bread. And if I do and the guy says get out. I'll get out immediately. But here is a guy. Who is so desperate. That means he loves this other friend of his so much.

That's the first thing you got to see. Okay I'm willing to bear the shame of this fellow shouting at me. And thinking me a bad neighbor. Or whatever ridicule I'm willing to face all that. I've got to meet my friends.

My friend is hungry. You know if you people could love one another like that. My wife is hungry. My husband is hungry. And I have got to go to God. To have the strength to meet that need. I tell you. Even though verse 8.

He doesn't get up to give him because he's his friend. Yet because of his persistence. And that's the word I want you to see. Persistence. He will get up. And give him. Here's another expression. As much as he needs.

He asked only for three loaves. Whatever. Hey listen. Do you want more than three? Here it is. And then the Lord says. Ask like this. And you'll get it. Why didn't you get it? Because you didn't ask like this.

I know. Perhaps all of you sitting here. Have asked for the baptism in the Holy Spirit. But you didn't ask like this. You asked and knocked and said. Hey I like some bread. Get away. Okay I went away.

I went back to sleep and told my neighbor. I tried man. I tried. It didn't work. He didn't give me any bread. Let's go to sleep. That is how most people are seeking for the fullness of the Holy Spirit.

Pentecost and Spirit-Filled Churches

I don't know whether you know. That CFC was born 37 years ago. Through the baptism in the Holy Spirit. Yeah. That's that's how it was. It was just two of us initially Ian and myself. But and that was the whole issue of our moving out of one church into another.

It is a baptism of the Holy Spirit. There's nothing else. It wasn't victory over sin. It was the baptism in the Holy Spirit and fire. How did the church begin on the day of Pentecost? Was it by somebody preaching victory over sin?

No. It was when those 120 people got baptized in the Holy Spirit and fire. The church was born. And that's how God intended every church to be born. That day of Pentecost is an example. I'm very thankful that CFC started that way.

Not by some people coming together. Hey, let's let's have a New Testament church. You know, there are different churches I find in Tamil Nadu and Kerala and other parts of India, which have tried to imitate CFC.

Ah, this is a good pattern. Let's follow it. But there's a lot of confusion even in CFC churches. You know that? Because it didn't start with baptism in the Holy Spirit. It started, this is a nice pattern.

This is a nice message. You can't build a church with a nice pattern and a nice message. It has to be the baptism in the Holy Spirit and fire. That is the thing that initiates the new covenant. So you say, I'd like to have a nice marriage.

Yeah, yeah. Go to the psychologist. They'll tell you how to have a nice marriage. It won't be a Christian marriage. For a Christian marriage, like a Christian church, you need the baptism in the Holy Spirit and fire.

And if both of you are not eager for it, at least one of you should be eager for it. God will meet with you. But in your list of priorities, where does baptism in the Holy Spirit come? I'm sure it is there, but maybe it's number 25 or something like that, because there are 24 other more important things you have to do, such as you've got to get a promotion in your job.

You need to make a little more money. And you've got to expand your business. And number 24, you come to baptism in the Holy Spirit. I can tell you, in 100 years, you will not have a spirit-filled marriage.

I can give it to you in writing. You'll be just one of those nice brothers and sisters. Come here and praise Brother Zach. And say, what a wonderful brother we have. And sit here and have a useless marriage.

By useless marriage, I don't mean a marriage that's fighting with each other. A marriage that accomplishes nothing for God. That's what I mean. Just because you and your wife are very happy, and you've got plenty of money, and you've got good children, don't think that's fulfilling God's purpose.

Is your marriage accomplishing something for God? God didn't plant churches just for them to be happy together, serve one another, and smile at each other, and have good food, and bring up good children.

No, sir. He wanted a house that accomplishes something for God. And your house will not accomplish something for God if you're not filled with the Holy Spirit. Even Jesus Christ did not go out for his ministry without first being filled with the Holy Spirit.

How dare you go out and try to build a house without seeking to be filled with the Holy Spirit. Jesus is your example. As soon as he stepped out, you know, Jesus stepping out of Nazareth, getting baptized, is a picture of a single man stepping out of his house and getting married.

In Jesus' case, it was to his father. In your case, it is your husband or wife. Single girl, stepping out of the old home. It says Jesus moved from Nazareth to Capernaum and set up his own home there.

It's a picture of marriage. That's why immediately after he tells his mother, what have I got to do with you? Because the Bible says a man must leave father and mother. That's the first time Jesus said it.

It was a picture of a man getting married. And what is the first thing Jesus did before he went into that ministry? He prayed. The Bible says he prayed as he went into the waters. I know what he was praying for.

Father, anoint me with the Holy Spirit. And he came up. He was anointed with the Holy Spirit. Can you have that faith? I'll never forget when one of my sons was getting baptized here. I still remember.

You know, they give testimony before baptism. And his testimony was, I think he was 17 or so. He said, I want to follow Jesus. I believe the Bible says I can follow him. And if Jesus could be filled with the Holy Spirit as soon as he came up out of the waters of baptism, I believe I can also be filled with the Holy Spirit when I come up out of the waters of baptism.

I said, wow! I've never heard that testimony at a baptism. I said, Lord, honor his faith. And I see some results in his life today. Faith is what God honors. It doesn't matter whether you're 17 years old or 50 years old.

God doesn't honor you for your age or your knowledge or your experience, but faith. Lord, I believe you will do this for me. I believe you'll fill me with the Holy Spirit. And it's like this guy saying, I'm going to get this bread no matter how long I have to knock.

Persistence. I want to encourage you to be persistent. Don't think your marriage is okay until both of you are filled with the Holy Spirit. Don't think your marriage is okay. One of the first things that God did for our marriage was God filled me with the Spirit and filled my wife with the Spirit pretty soon after we were married.

And that's how we started out. So I want to encourage you. If there's one thing you seek for, seek to be filled with the Holy Spirit. You know how you desperately long to have a child? I wish you would desperately long to be filled with the Holy Spirit like that.

Imagine that. If your longing for the Holy Spirit is a hundred times of your longing to have a child, you think God won't meet with you? But the things of earth mean more to you than the things of heaven.

And you say, Oh God, give us a heavenly marriage. You won't get one. Because you don't want the things of heaven first. You want a job. You must have a house. And when you get a house, you must have a refrigerator.

And you must have a washing machine. And you must have this and that. And you pray for this and that. And you get it all. Is it a spiritual marriage? It will never be. Because God sees, filled with the Holy Spirit is item number 24.

After listening to this message, you may make it item number 10. I hope you will all make it item number 1. You know, when my wife and I were married, you know the tapes I was listening to? Tapes on the baptism of the Holy Spirit.

And even if you're against it, God can meet with you if you have a need. My wife was initially against the baptism of the Holy Spirit. Because she grew up in a brethren assembly. But God met with her.

So, if you have a... Not because you understand the doctrine. I think I understood the doctrine 10 times better than my wife even now. But because of a need. You have a sense of need. Lord, I'm needy.

Persistence, Faith, and Spiritual Hunger

What is it that drove this man to his neighbor's house? Need. Lord, I'm desperately needy. I need to be filled with the Holy Spirit. You know, we can have so much teaching on the techniques of married life.

And how you should do this. There are a whole lot of books written on married life. And even on bringing up children and all that. I'll tell you. Be filled with the Holy Spirit. That is the most important thing.

Without a doubt. But you must ask like this. And I tell you, everyone who asks like this, verse 10, will receive. Everyone? Everyone? Does that include you? Is your name there in verse 10? Can you put your name?

Everyone must include you. If you ask like this, you will receive. I remember a man telling me, Brother Zach, I prayed for 40 years for the baptism of the Holy Spirit, never got it. You mean, this guy didn't wait outside that man's door for 40 years?

He waited there for a few minutes. And I say, Are you trying to tell me that God is more unrighteous than this man who gave him bread after a few minutes? And your God didn't give you after 40 years? No, sir.

You didn't ask like this man. That's it. You would once in a while, item number 24 comes up. Lord, please fill me with the Holy Spirit. And then you move on to other things in life. Well, no wonder you're not filled with the Holy Spirit.

And I can prophesy, you will never be filled with the Holy Spirit. You'll be a nice, smiling CFC member. Sit here and have an average marriage. When you could have had a first class marriage. When you have a choice of sending your child to an average school and a first class school, both are available, both same fees, which one will you send your child to?

First class school. Supposing somebody is sick and you have the choice of taking the person to an average hospital and a first class hospital, which one will you send? First class. But when it comes to having an average marriage and a first class marriage, why are you happy with an average marriage?

Is that less important than school and hospital? I tell you, our priorities are wrong. Earthly things are much more important for us. And God sees that. Despite all the so-called piety and holiness and religious talk, God sees deep down in your heart and in your mind, your dreams are about earthly things.

God says you'll get it. Seek and you shall find. You seek for a job, you get it. You seek for more money, you get it. You want a house of your own, you get it. But the most important thing you never sought for, because it's not priority in your life.

No wonder you didn't get it. But seek like this. Everyone who asks like this will get. Everyone who seeks like this will find. Everyone who knocks like this, it will be opened. What are we talking about?

Verse 13, the Holy Spirit. This whole parable is about receiving the Holy Spirit, power. You know, so many people get into theological argument. What is it to receive the Holy Spirit? Do you receive the Holy Spirit when you're born again?

Is it like this? Is it like that? I say, forget all these things. I never talk about all these things. I tell people, do you know that Jesus said, John 7, 38, He who believes in me, out of his innermost being, rivers of living water will flow.

And he spoke about the Holy Spirit. If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. I only ask people one question. You know, if I ask, are you baptized in the Holy Spirit? Are you filled with the Holy Spirit?

People get theological problems. So I ask them a question. Listen, are rivers of living water flowing out from you, your life, and from your home? Do you want them to flow from your home? They're not flowing?

Why not seek God about it? He said, if you thirst, come to me, and he who believes in me, he who believes in me, he who believes in me has eternal life. You got that? He who believes in me, rivers of living water will flow out from you.

Why don't you claim that? I cannot think how many years I cried out to God for this. And my problem is not lack of thirst. My problem is lack of faith. There are two things required, you know, thirst and faith.

It's like the two wires. When they touch, the light burns. Every switch, electric switch, is just two wires touching. That's all. The wires are kept so close to each other, they don't touch, there's no light.

The moment they touch, there's light, fan, everything works. So thirst and faith. Some people have thirst but no faith, some people have faith but no thirst. But when you have thirst and faith touch, that's it.

And I can say to every single one of you, God is faithful. And if you are not filled with the Holy Spirit, there's only one reason. Either you lack thirst or you lack faith. Thirst means persistence. I am not going to give you, like Dave, you know, Jacob held on to the Lord one day, God said, let me go.

Jacob said, I'm not going to let you go until you bless me. And it says God met with him when he saw that desperation. See, before that, Jacob had been running after money and women and all that, and he was clinging on to all that.

He gave up all that. He clung on to God. Many of you, can you look back over your life, and there are certain things you have pursued in your life. Maybe a profession. Maybe a degree. Maybe a business.

You started out with no degree, no education, no business. And today you've got a degree, maybe a postgraduate degree, or you've prospered in your work, you've got a good job, you've got a good business, you've earned money, some of you have built your own houses.

Great. Imagine if you had the same persistence with which you succeeded in getting a degree and in your business. If you had the same persistence to seek for the fullness of the Holy Spirit, where you would have been today?

You say, I've got a happy marriage. It's like the child who comes back home from school and says, Mommy, I got 40%, I passed, I went to the next class. And the mommy says, You're a great kid. You got 40%.

Make sure you get 40 next year also, okay? All the way to 10th standard. You can get 40 and be a milkman or something for the rest of your life. It's okay. You won't do that because earthly things mean so much to you.

You're not even happy if your child got 90 and say, why didn't you get 100? I wish you had the same earnestness about your spiritual life as well and about your marriage. Have you got a happy marriage?

We don't fight with each other. 40%, we pass. Is that what you want? How many of you are as eager to have a 100 marriage as you are eager for your children to get 100 in school? What a lot! Extratution!

Why? You already got 40%. Why do you want extratution? I want the child to get at least 80 -90%. Have you ever seen a mother happy? SSLC, my child got 40%. I've never seen any excited mother coming and telling me my child got 40 in SSLC.

But I've seen hundreds of marriages. We're okay. How's your marriage getting on? Yeah, we're okay. Like they say in Hindi, Chalta hai. Getting on. Your marriage is not supposed to be like that. Let all the worldly marriages, let all the nominal Christian marriages be like that.

But yours is not supposed to be like that, my brother. Don't be foolish. Understand the will of the Lord. Be filled with the Holy Spirit. Thirst, number one. Okay. Move back to Ephesians 5, 18. Believe that the Lord will give you.

It's the Lord who instituted marriage. And if He's told you that is the will of the Lord and He asks you why won't He give it to you? He'll definitely give it to you. Okay. Now, when you are filled with the Holy Spirit, what is the next most important thing that you must understand the will of the Lord in marriage?

Communication, Thanksgiving, and Mutual Submission

Verse 19. What is it? Speak to one another. What a great exhortation for married people. Don't just say, I'm tired, I want to go to sleep. Drink a cup of coffee and speak to one another. Yeah, be filled with the Spirit and then speak to one another.

It's a very down-to-earth exhortation. And speak to one another with psalms and hymns. You say, you mean I must sing to my wife? Yeah, why not? It's a scriptural verse there. Because the next verse is talking about wives and husbands.

It's all about marriage. That's why the Lord wrote Song of Solomon in scripture. It's called a song. You know, the only book in the Bible which is called a song. You're not supposed to read it. You're supposed to sing it.

I like it. It's one of my favorite books. I pray it'll be your favorite book too. Don't be ashamed of it. I mean, out there in the world, the cinemas and all, they're saying all those words to other people who are not their wives.

Yeah, but that is sacred. Marriage is a very sacred thing. I remember reading of a Christian, it was a Christian movie where the actor, they were acting as husband and wife, but in the movie, the wife was not his wife.

You know, somebody else, his wife was not a good actor. So they had to get somebody else to act as the wife. And this man was a good actor, but he was a believer, a God-fearing believer. And there had to be one scene at the end of it where they were happy and they just kissed each other.

And you know what he said? I said, I will not kiss her because she's not my real wife. Boy, I admire that man. So you know what they had to do? They had to dress up his wife for that last scene with the same dress that this lady wore and at a distance so that you don't recognize this is another woman with this.

He kissed her. I will admire that man for the rest of my life that he would not even for the sake of a movie shot kiss somebody even if that in the movie that woman was his wife. He said, I'll do everything else but I'm not going to touch her and hug her and kiss her and all that.

But in marriage, that's a wonderful thing to kiss and hug your wife, to be thankful, sing songs to her and always give thanks. There's another thing, verse 20. There's another thing which I tell married couples to do.

Always give thanks. I want to ask you, my dear brothers and sisters, have you even once in your life, once, knelt down beside your bed when you're alone, say, Lord, thank you for the wife you gave me or thank you for the husband you gave me.

Now, you may have done it when you're together because you want to make her happy for some reason or you had a fight and so you kneel down and say, Lord, thank you for my wife, thank you for my husband.

That's not genuine. It's genuine when you're alone and you kneel down and say it. Have you ever, when you're all alone and your wife is not hearing it, nobody's hearing it. Lord, thank you for my wife, thank you for my husband.

That is genuine. What you say to God when you're all alone, you and the Lord, that comes from your heart. And if you have never said it once in your married life, I'll tell you what you should do. I won't tell you to get a millstone and hang it around your neck and drown because your wife will be a widow then.

So don't do that. But go and hang your head in shame and say, Lord, from now on, I'm going to do that. Sometime when I'm alone, I'm going to say, thank you, Lord, for the wife you gave me. Thank you, Lord, for the husband you gave me.

I tell you, it will cement your marriage. Believe me. And once you have children, you must start thanking God for them when you're alone. I mean, there may be 101 things wrong with your child, but it is a gift of God.

Lord, thank you for this child. Thank you. This is a gift of God. Do you know that, you know, my children are in their 30s and some of them in their early 40s. Every single year on their birthday, I have sent them a greeting all my life, wherever I am.

Write a card when they were at home. Card means not these expensive 20, 30 rupee cards. Usually, we were too poor to afford that. Some old card with one side torn out and, you know, that's how we made cards in those days.

But the words are so precious. I still have those cards. Some of my children have written to me. But one of the things I said is we thank God that he allowed you to be born in our family. We have kept on saying that to our children every single birthday.