TLP 444: Who Does Chores in Your Home?

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Yes, it's true. Not every chore is completed for the benefit of all, and some chores are done solely for our own benefit.

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But most of the work being done in the family should be done as an act of worship to God and an act of service to the family.

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Welcome to Truth, Love, Parents, where we use God's Word to become intentional, premeditated parents.

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Here's your host, AM Brewster. Welcome back to the show. If this is your first time with us,

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I pray that it won't be your last. Truth, Love, Parent is a 501c3 nonprofit dedicated to helping families glorify

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God in all they say and do. We teach families, we train pastors and counselors who work with families, and we offer biblical counseling so that the individuals in your home can become the men and women

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God called and created them to be. So I pray your time with us today and every day will be filled with God's Word so that you can know how to apply

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God's will to your family life. And if you are a faithful subscriber, welcome back.

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Have you taken the opportunity to rate and review our show yet? If you've been with us for any period of time,

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I hope you'll take your opportunity. TLP is one of the most popular podcasts for Christian parents, and there are many people who choose to listen to a new podcast simply because of what has been said about it in the reviews.

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Your review may be what introduces a new family to the show. So I hope you'll take a moment to leave a rating and a review.

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And don't forget that we have free episode notes and transcripts available on our blog at TakingBackTheFamily .com.

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And with that, let's talk about chores. Do your children do chores in the home? Do you do chores in the home?

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Well, you all need to do chores in the home, and today we will discuss the Biblical Foundation for Family Work.

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This foundation is designed to help you, the parent, understand the importance from a biblical perspective, but also for you to pass on to your kids.

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I've never believed it was Christ -honoring to always be telling our kids what to do without teaching them why

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God wants them doing it. Sure, there may be the occasional time that's appropriate, but as ambassador parents for God, we must communicate

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His truth and explain His high biblical expectations. Many of our episodes are designed to have your family listen along with you, and this is one of them.

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If you're looking for a Bible time with your family, you could even print out the episode notes, listen to this episode together, read the verses we discuss, and then have your own time of sorting out the scriptures and applying them to your own unique family situation.

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And if the whole family is there with you, I want to start by welcoming you, the family. My name is Mr. Brewster, and your parents and I get together about twice a week to learn what

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God has to say about our parenting. God cares very much about how we live our lives because He created all of us for a very specific purpose.

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It's our goal in this show to discover that purpose in the Bible and then live for God through His power. Our discussion today about work is not so your mom and dad have an excuse for making you do chores around the house.

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We're talking about this because it's very important to God, and if we don't understand and obey, there will be many consequences.

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Perhaps some of those consequences are already creeping into your homes right now. I love you.

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I know that might sound strange, but I do. I love you and your family, even if we've never met, and I love you because God is worth it and you're a unique creation of His.

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To that end, I'd like to help you and your parents discover the joy and purpose of chores. Now, granted, the

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Bible does not talk about chores. It doesn't use the word, but it has a lot to say about work in general. And as usual, there's way more than we could discuss just in one episode.

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So I've collected just seven principles that should motivate our chores in the house. Number one, our work was always part of God's plan.

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It matters now and eternally. From time to time on this show, we've talked about the fall when mankind rebelled against God for the first time.

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Many things changed that day, and one of them involved work. God told Adam that because he sinned, work would become very hard.

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But did you know that work was not a result of the fall? God called Adam to work way before he sinned.

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God called Adam to work before Eve was created later that same day. God commanded Adam and Eve to work before they even knew about the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

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Now, before I continue, if at any time you hear something about the Bible you didn't know, I suggest you write it down so you can check it out later for yourself.

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Anyway, the point is that work is good. God was the first to work, and we will spend all eternity working alongside

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Him. Now, if that sounds like a terrible thing, then it proves the fact that you don't really understand work.

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And of course, it's also a result of the fact that sin has infected the world. Work is a lot harder than God ever intended it to be, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy it and use it to please

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Him. Also, the Lord has expectations for our work. In 1 Thessalonians 3 .10, we're told,

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If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. If you want the benefits that come from living in your home, you need to be prepared to participate in keeping the home running.

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So at number one, God created work to be beautiful. Number two, God equips us with unique skills and passions that He intends us to use in our work.

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God never calls us to do something for which He doesn't equip us. Consider Romans 12, 6 through 8.

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Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them. If prophecy in proportion to our faith, if service in our serving, the one who teaches in his teaching, the one whom exhorts in his exhortation, the one who contributes in generosity, the one who leads with zeal, and the one who does acts of mercy with cheerfulness.

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Many times when instructed by an authority, requested by a loved one, or both, children and adults are tempted to say,

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I can't. To this, as a parent, I reply, please don't lie. I do my best to never ask you to do something you can't do.

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You may not want to do it. You may not feel like doing it. You may think you can't do it, but you need to trust me that you do have the ability to accomplish anything

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I ask of you. If you're not certain how to do it, just ask. Whether it's sweeping a floor or planting a church,

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God knows what we need and gives it to us. The beautiful thing is, most of the stuff we need to accomplish a task is found outside of us.

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I received physical strength and mental ability from God. I was instructed by somebody else in how to accomplish the goal and likely needed help from others in order to do it well.

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Now that's not always the case, and in situations where it starts off that way, eventually I shouldn't need as much help if it truly is a one -person job.

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My point is, we need to be honest with ourselves. Parents, be sure you're not asking your children to do things for which they don't have the ability or resources.

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And let's be fair, kids, that rarely happens. So in love, we all need to assume that the authority knows our abilities and resources and knows we can accomplish the job.

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And then all we have to do is figure out how to do the job or ask for clarification. But it all starts by trusting that God will never put us into a situation in which it's impossible for us to glorify

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Him. Now, I hope you're noticing that we're talking more about our spiritual state than the amount of knowledge we have or the specific physical skills necessary to do chores.

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This is due to our third point. Number three, who we are as we work is more important than how we work.

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Just like true obedience is doing the right thing in the right way for the right reasons and the right power, completing our chores to the glory of God is going to require that we do the right things in the right way for the right reasons and the right power.

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This means that we need a relationship with God, know how to glorify Him, and desire to do so. That says more about our relationship with Him and our character than it does our abilities.

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Consider Colossians 3 .23, Whatever you do, work heartily. As for the

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Lord, and not for men. Let's be honest. The Lord is more interested in humble, submissive people than He is quote -unquote strong or quote -unquote talented people with their own plans for how life is to be lived.

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Who we are as we work is more important than how we work. Here's why. If I'm the right person,

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I'll work the right way. If I'm the wrong person, it doesn't matter how quote -unquote right I do the job, the

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Lord won't be glorified. When I used to teach in school, I would ask my students what their goals were for the year.

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Every year there was at least one student who said they wanted to get all A's. I would then take the opportunity to ask the class if they thought that was a good goal, and most of the class would agree.

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But then I showed my students how any goal that can be accomplished without God is not a good goal.

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I can hack the online grain book. I can bribe or blackmail my teacher. I can cheat.

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I can get A's in my own strength. But the Lord will not be pleased by any of that. However, if my goal is to glorify

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God by being the best student that I can be, I'll pay attention in class, I'll take good notes, I'll ask questions when

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I don't understand, I'll do my homework well, I'll study hard for tests, and I'll trust that the

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Lord will give me the right outcome. If I'm that kind of a student, do you think I'll get good grades?

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Yeah, I think you get the point. So number one, work is part of God's plan. And number two, God gives us everything we need to accomplish our work, to His honor and glory.

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And number three, God cares more about our character in our work than our skills. And four, our work should be focused on serving others.

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Philippians 2 .3 says, Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

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Think about what chores are. Like we mentioned earlier, when we do our chores, we're participating in family life.

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We all work. We all eat. However, there's more. It's true that I generally use only one plate when

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I eat, and yet, when I do the dishes, I end up washing everyone's plates. When I wash the dishes to the glory of God, I'm accomplishing four things.

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A. I'm pleasing the Lord by fulfilling His will for my life. B. I'm participating in necessary family life.

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C. I'm freeing up the rest of the family members to work on other chores. And D. I'm serving everyone who ate dinner.

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While I'm serving them by washing their plates, someone else is serving us by vacuuming where we've walked, and another is serving us by putting away the food we're going to eat later, and someone else is probably serving us by washing the toilet we're all going to use by the end of the day.

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Yes, it's true. Not every chore is completed for the benefit of all, and some chores are done solely for our own benefit.

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But most of the work being done in a family should be done as an act of worship to God and an act of service to the family.

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If your family hasn't listened to the Four Family Loves series starting in episode 128, you are all really missing out.

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You need to listen to that. Without love, all of our choices are selfish. Everyone does only what they need to do to get by.

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They manipulate people just to keep from being punished. That is a selfish house in which no one wants to live.

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Also, I encourage you to subscribe to Truth Love Parents here on iTunes or whatever podcast app you listen to it on.

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If you haven't done that already, please do. That way, you won't miss an episode. And I'm mentioning this now because in just a little while,

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I'm going to have Jessica Mayer on the show to discuss rearing a servant. If you want to know what the Bible says about training your children to serve, and if you want some super practical examples of how to do that, don't miss that episode with Jessica Mayer.

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All right, moving on, number five. We must have a godly rhythm of work and rest in order to work well.

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This is another subject on which I want to spend a lot of time later. However, for now, every family member, especially the breadwinner, needs to realize that there is such a thing as too much work.

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God created us to work, but He also created us to rest. I love the imagery in Genesis 1 and 2.

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God created Adam, had him name the animals, created Eve, and then their first full 24 -hour day of life was spent resting with God.

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Yes, Adam and Eve worked the garden, but they also walked with God in the cool of the garden. Now I know the kids in the room completely agree with me.

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There needs to be more family playtime, more relaxation, more downtime. But I also know the parents are thinking, are you crazy?

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Well, no, I'm not, and neither is God. Start with an hour or two. Next week, make it three.

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Before you know it, you'll figure out a way to spend one whole day resting together as a family every week.

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I know it may seem crazy, but trust me, it's biblical, Christ -honoring, possible, and necessary.

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Number six, our work multiplies in relationship. We've talked a lot recently about how relational

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God is. He doesn't merely want to have a relationship with us. He himself has relationships within the

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Trinity. But think about point four a little bit more. It's really hard to serve others when you're not in a relationship.

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Not only does family work flourish within relationships, but it multiplies as well. Generally, the more people involved in the job, the more efficiently it can be accomplished.

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The old adage is, many hands make light work. I love the image we have of the New Testament of the church, the brand new baby church.

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In Acts 2, 42 through 48, it says, and they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.

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And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common.

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And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all as any had need.

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And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising

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God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.

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Look how much they were able to accomplish, and they still had so much time to dedicate to the direct worship of God.

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Not only does relationship make it possible to serve each other, and not only does relationship make most jobs easier, relationships also make most jobs more fun.

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At Victory Academy for Boys where I work, the guys are on a chore rotation, and we always have two guys on dishes.

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Well, I've noticed that the guys who enjoy each other enjoy washing dishes together. The guys who can't stand each other hate washing dishes.

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Now there are many other reasons for this, but the point still stands that a relationship makes for more fun. Okay, number one, work is part of God's plan.

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Number two, God gives us everything we need to accomplish our work to His honor and glory. Three, God cares more about our character in work than our skills.

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Four, our work should be focused on serving others. Five, we need to learn to rest well in order to work well.

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Six, our work multiplies in relationship. And seven, work is a gift to be enjoyed and shared.

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When you add all of these up, they equal far more than the sum of their parts. A family who works this way will find chores to be a joy.

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It gives them an opportunity to serve God, serve others, enjoy each other, keep the house decent and in order, and exercise the gifts

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God's given them. Isn't that the kind of house in which you'd like to live? Now I started by saying that I had seven foundation stones for family chores, but I also have a bonus point, and I know the kids will really appreciate this one.

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God wants dad and mom to work too. Now parents, before you choose to get all offended, I understand that you work.

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I get it. If you're listening to this podcast, you likely have a pretty well -developed work ethic. However, I don't think we parents often realize the immature conclusions to which our children jump when we don't participate in the household chores.

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This is why I did episode 104, Your Kids Need an Interpreter. Be sure to listen to that one if you haven't already.

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Anyway, I understand the fact that I work over 60 hours a week in order to provide for my family, but that's out of sight, out of mind.

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If I refuse to participate in family chores, it's very likely my children might think I'm just being lazy or selfish.

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Not only that, I have to challenge us parents to get our minds straight on this point. True, many of you work outside of the home for 8 -12 hours a day, but what are your kids doing all day?

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They're working for 8 -12 hours at school, at practices, rehearsals, lessons, and sometimes actually paying jobs.

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I believe that the amount of work done outside the house does not exempt us from work done inside the house.

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Family chores are a family thing. Now, it's true that family members who work less outside of the home can serve the ones who work more outside of the home by offering to do more of the housework, but all

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I'm saying is that we need to stop excusing our lack of participation in housework because of the amount of outside -of -the -house work we do.

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In addition to the 60 hours of work or so I do, and the work I do for TLP, and the work I do for the church,

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I still have time to help with laundry, cleaning up around the house, vacuuming, yard work, dishes. It's my house.

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I'm one of the most mature people in my home. I need to do my part, and I need to set the example. We all do.

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On that note, I have a little chore for you. Will you please share this episode on social media for us? I'd appreciate that.

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I also have today's episode notes posted on our blog if you haven't gotten those yet. The link is in the description.

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Truth. Love. Parents is part of the Evermind Ministries family and is dedicated to helping you become an intentional premeditated parent.

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Join us next time as we search God's Word for the truth your family needs today.