23. the Hidden Woman (Part 2) — Denny Kenaston

All right. God bless you sisters. I Want to continue on in this subject, but I just want to say I want to say it again. I'm telling you the devil's a liar. He's a liar. He's pulling one over on Millions of women and I'm afraid millions of Christian women.

He's pulling one over on them and he's devastating and debilitating a whole. Generation of men by it and I want to say this dear sisters. I know we make a lot of mistakes. We are a generation of men who didn't have leaders.

We are trying to be leaders and we didn't have leaders. But we want to do what is right and all as I stand up here even this morning. And I share these things with you dear sisters. I cannot help but remember all the shouts and all the amens and all the men at the altar all through the week.

These men want to do right. They may stumble around sometimes. We don't know what we're doing. Nobody showed us but we want to we want to. So I just want to encourage you dear sisters. You are dear sisters.

Also, I'd like to just bring back something that we thought of a couple days ago I guess I was encouraging you sisters to sit in family devotions with a supportive smile on your face and I Just reminded you of that.

Reverence as a Source of Strength for Husbands

That's what we do with a new elder, you know. Well, let me just pull that new elder back out here just for a moment and consider him again all this list of reverence all the all that lists there. You look down through that list and you'll find that a Supportive congregation will surround their new elder with all those kind of attitudes.

I mean he gets notes. He gets encouragement. He gets amen faces when he makes a mistake. He gets a pat on the back anyway. And all of those things is what happens to an elder that emerges two years later as an effective minister of the gospel.

But just think with me. What if? You didn't listen to him you turn your head the other way. You frowned at him while he was preaching. You wrote him a note and tell him he didn't do too. Well, what kind of an elder you think he'd be in two years time?

I'd tell you what either he'd be a puppet. Which is no elder at all or he just quit which is no elder at all either way. You'll get the same thing. We know when we take it out of the realm of our home.

We understand these principles and how they work. May God help us to make them operate properly in our homes. And let me give you some counsel you wives and you daughters. That are sitting here. If I were you I would take this list that list of definitions of reverence and Memorize it and internalize it into the very fiber of your heart and your being.

I Would encourage you to do that. You'll never go wrong. If you treat your husband this way. How do you think this will affect him? Will it make him a better man or will it make him a worse man? Will it encourage him or will it discourage him?

Will he feel good about himself or will they think he's no good if you treat him the way that I've been Encouraging you do you think you'll be more hard on you or do you think you'll be more kind to you?

Which one do you think it is? Let me tell you in case you wonder. Many times when I preach a message like this in a mixed group like this. And I'm telling you this morning when I get done if I gave an invitation to the men, they'd be weeping at the altar.

You know that they'd be weeping at the altar. They would say I don't deserve one like that. That's what the men say to me. I don't deserve one like that. Bless your husbands dear sisters. Bless your husbands.

The Power of a Submissive Spirit in 1 Peter 3

Let's go on now and look At the power of a submissive spirit. Can we do that turning to 1st Peter? Chapter 3 the power of a submissive spirit there is in these verses a powerful secret a powerful secret that a Discontented woman will never know.

She will never know but it is hidden within these verses right here that we're going to read a powerful Secret the power of a submissive spirit. God says to sisters Likewise ye wives and that likewise is referring to the example of Christ's suffering Quietly and dying on the cross that comes just before these verses in like manner ye wives Be in subjection to your own husbands.

That if any obey not the word they also may without the word Be won by the conversation or the life of the wives While they behold your chaste conversation or life coupled with fear. There's that word fear again.

And by the way, it means reverence. It doesn't mean that you're afraid of your husband. It means reverence. Who's adorning let it not be that outward adorning of the plating of the hair or the wearing of gold or the putting on of Apparel, but instead let it be the adorning of the hidden man of the heart In that which is not corruptible even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit Which is in the sight of God of great price.

For after this manner in the old time the holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves Being in subjection under their own husbands even as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord. Whose daughters you are as long as you do.

Well, and they're not afraid with any amazement now here we see God's instruction may I say God's instruction to a wife who has a husband who does not obey the word and There may be There may be a few who might fall into this category.

But let me just encourage you this morning dear sisters the power of these words Which God has given to the wife who has a husband who will not obey the word that power is Just as much power. Yeah, how much more?

Influence shall you have on your husband if he does love the Lord and he wants to obey the word if you will also Take the same posture as this one here is admonished to take. I'm telling you you are a power house of Influence in your home when you get in that place that God gives here The power of a meek and quiet spirit the power of a submissive spirit that just desires to Adapt itself to the desires and the direction of the husband and as I have studied this portion of Scripture I am absolutely and totally convinced that the hidden man of the heart that this Husband sees is Jesus.

It's Jesus. He doesn't see a lady anymore that meekness that quietness that reverence that bowed heart that submission that honor that respect that that lady comes up with and he sees and he is affected by it and Convicted by it and inspired by it and broken by it.

He's seeing Jesus. Jesus is the hidden man of the heart and I'll tell you what Jesus is powerful. Amen. He can turn the hardest heart. Jesus can do that. I think of the illustration of Charles Spurgeon's wife, and I'm sorry.

I don't know her name. I should have done my homework better. But Charles Spurgeon's wife. She had a special name that she called him that I really liked and she Her and her husband Charles. They had a beautiful relationship.

She was a multi-talented lady. I mean this lady she could have outshined her husband. She knew Greek and Hebrew and and I mean she was a very intelligent lady. She called her husband Charles she called him Tershatha.

Tershatha you'll find that word in. I believe it's in the book of Nehemiah where it speaks about Nehemiah and it says that he was the Tershatha and It's a word which means my reverence. So if you could just imagine each and every morning when mrs. Spurgeon greeted Charles Spurgeon.

She greeted him with these words good morning my reverence. How did you sleep last night? That's the way that Sarah related to Abraham calling him Lord. Calling him Lord. The spirit behind the name is what we're after here.

When she greeted her husband in the morning with those words and the spirit of those words. She had all the power of all those words of reverence that I just gave you behind her when she met her husband.

She was saying to her husband in the morning. I love you. I highly esteem you. I care about what you say. I'm glad to be under your authority. I belong to you. I'm here for you and you are all I ever want.

And I'll tell you what that fueled Charles Spurgeon's fire like you can't imagine most people have no idea the battles that Charles faced in his ministry, but he battled with Discouragement all the time.

He was so oppressed by so many things in his ministry. But somehow the powerful relationship that he had with his wife wasn't in Continual encouragement to him to get up and keep going many times. She would sit on Saturday evening and read commentaries to her to him while he prepared for the Sunday morning service.

What a nice thing for a husband and a wife to do. Let's consider just for a moment sisters that the sad predicament of a fish that is out of water a Fish that is out of water. You know, you can take a fish out of water.

And by that I mean you take it out of its element out of its Environment and as soon as you take a fish out of water, you will know right away Something is wrong with the fish. Because as soon as you take it out of the water Guess what?

It can't breathe anymore. It can't get air out of air. It has to get air out of water. That's the way that God designed it. And when you take it out of the water, guess what? It can't breathe so it starts to flop and flip this way and that way you look at him.

Their gills start gasping in and out like this trying to get some air but no air. You know why because it's a fish out of water. You understand the illustration. Well. Many ladies are just like that. Many ladies who have set their sights on other things besides this beautiful place which God hath ordained from the creation of man and woman when woman says I will not stand in that place which God made for woman.

I'm gonna go do my own things somewhere else. I'm gonna be a career woman. I'm gonna make the money. I'm gonna make a name for myself. I'm not gonna stay home and take care of these babies and and just be a Support to my husband let him stay home and wash the dishes.

When women take a position like that I'm telling you they are a fish out of water. They don't realize how much out of sorts they really are. In fact, dear sisters. Do you have any idea how many new? Sicknesses.

Female sicknesses are on the charts and newer ones are coming out all the time. I mean, you can't track them. The doctors can't figure them out why these ladies are sick why they hurt here why this isn't working, right?

Why this isn't working, right? And I tell you what's wrong. They're a fish out of water. And their gills are pushing and gasping for some air. But you can't get in the air until you get back in the water and as soon as you drop that fish back in the water.

Oh. Everything is okay again and the wool and the oxygen starts coming through the water and Through the and into the body and into the lungs and the gills and the fish is fine and he swims away and everything's fine.

Oh my dear ladies, my dear ladies. Are you a fish out of water? Are you gasping for every little bit of air that you can get. Are you wondering why? Everything is so upside down in your life maybe you need to jump back in the water the water of God's plan and purpose and Position for you as a woman.

A Wife's Influence Through Encouragement and Reverence

Hallelujah. Many years ago now. I knew a dear sister. When I was in Bible school. She was a single sister in the Bible school and there were a lot of single sisters in the Bible school. They went there to study.

They went there to study to be schoolteachers. I believe was probably their number one motivation. They wanted to be a school teacher in a Christian school. Well in the Bible school you had to work in the bus ministry and I'm glad for that.

It changed my whole life. But as I was working in the bus ministry there at the Bible school and in charge of many many many workers. There was this one young lady that just stood out. Head and shoulders above the rest.

Her name was sister Jane. That's what we called her this dear girl. She had this whole thing down like I mean she was a pro at it. She would write notes and let me know that she's praying for me. Now I'm just a leader that's all she did the same thing to the pastor of the church.

That's the kind of support unit. She was she would write the pastor of the church a note. I'm praying for you today. I'm behind you. God bless you today. I thought about you this morning and I prayed for you.

I get notes like this from this girl all the time and I thought man. Somebody better open up his eyes and latch a hold of that girl. She's gonna make some man a beautiful wife someday. But you know a lot of the fellows there passed her by she wasn't the most pretty lady in all the school.

Although she was a very attractive girl, but they passed her by for the flip-flop ones, you know. And they got the flip-flop too, by the way, they got just what they asked for. But anyway, this was the kind of girl she was one day.

She came to me for counsel. And she said brother Denny. I need your help. I have a young man who is asking to court me and in our Bible school if somebody wanted to court you. It also meant they were very strongly considering marrying you and I thought whoa.

Okay, and she gave me the name of the young man and she said I want to know what you think. Well, I Did my investigation and I checked into this fella and he was a fine young man. No doubt about it, but you know, I thought about him and I thought you know.

You know, he was just so. You know, he wasn't a dynamic leader. He wasn't a powerful preacher. He wasn't any of those things he but he was just a fine boy. And I thought Oh Gene you could do much better than this guy.

You know, but I didn't tell her that I found him. I found out who he was and I felt he's a fine young man. Hey, what can I say? I told her he seems to be a nice young man. If you feel like God is leading you you go that way.

Well, they did they courted they married and guess what? She did all those notes and all those prayers and all those encouraging words and all that ability that that dear lady had she turned them all loose on that guy that was just so so and In two years time.

He was one of the finest leaders in the Bible College. Ha how about that? Now some might looked on and said what happened to him, but I knew what happened to him. I knew exactly what happened to that fella.

He got a hold of this dear lady who got underneath him and believed in him and dreamed visions for him and saw him to Be what he wasn't yet and encouraged him and blessed him and loved him and admired him and all of a sudden Something started burning inside of that.

So so kind of a guy and the fire started burning in him and bless God. He turned into a man of God. Yes, praise the Lord. My dear ladies you have as much power available to you to bless and influence your husbands as that sister had and Did use to bless and influence that man you have just as much.

I Want to encourage you? To practice it. Let's turn over to Ephesians chapter 5 for a little bit here in Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 22. It says these words wise. Submit yourselves under your own husbands as unto the Lord.

That's to me is a powerful statement in the Word of God. Submit yourselves. It doesn't just say submit to him. It says submit yourselves to your own husband as unto the Lord or may I say. Just as if you were submitting to the Lord.

Submission Illustrated Through the Husband's Chair

Is what that verse means? I? Want to use an imaginary situation to illustrate verse 22 to you sisters. Almost every one of your homes has a chair or two in it that your husband sits in it's his chair.

I Have one that I sit in at my house. In fact, I think I have two of them. We call it Papa's chair and if Papa's around or if Papa walks into the room. They all scatter out of that chair. That's Papa's chair.

See it's Papa's chair. Everyone else knows it. So I want you to imagine the chair that your husband sits in when he comes into your home in the evening. Just picture it there. You know the scene it happens all the time.

It is very easy for you to imagine it because it happens all the time in every one of your homes. He comes in maybe comes home from work or whatever and he goes and he sits in that chair. Now to help you understand the meaning of the verse at hand.

I want to change this imaginary scene a bit. Instead of your husband walking through the door Greeting everyone and sitting down in his chair to visit. I want you to picture that this time instead of your husband walking through the door the Lord Jesus Christ Just walked through the door of your house.

It is the evening time and suddenly the door opens and the Lord himself walks into your house instead of your husband. He gives everyone a kind warm greeting and tells you that he is Taking your husband's place for the evening.

He feels right at home and walks right over to that special chair and sits down as if he sat there many many times. Wow, what an exciting experience. The Lord Jesus Christ just walked into your house and sat down in your chair.

What are you gonna do next my dear sisters? What will be your response? We can easily imagine what is going on inside of your heart by this time. Thoughts of reverence spring up in your mind. You think the Lord walked into my house today.

He is sitting in the chair where my husband usually sits. How can I serve him? Think about it for a moment. The Lord is sitting in your house. What are you going to do? How are you going to respond just imagine what would be going on through your mind?

You the wife. You say to the Lord Well Lord, is there anything that I can can I get you something tonight and the Lord says well, yes. Yeah, I'd like a cup of tea and you the wife you say well Lord. What kind of tea would you like?

What kind of tea would you like and he will give it and I think I'll take some mint tea and you'll say but Lord I'll make it right away. And do you want some honey in it? And how much honey would you like in it and all those things are going on in your mind?

You go back into the kitchen thinking. Oh Lord the Lord is in my house. My The Lord is sitting in my husband's chair and he wants a cup of tea and I get to make it for him. What a privilege I have oh.

You will be so excited to make that cup of tea you will get the best water you can find. Amen, you'll choose the best tea that you can find in your house. You will make a cup of tea for the Lord like you never made a cup of tea before.

Why this cup of tea is for the Lord? It's for the Lord. All the while you're making it you'll be thinking the Lord is in my house. The Lord is in my house, I can't believe it. I get to make a cup of tea for the Lord.

Let's go on with the illustration when the tea is ready. You will joyfully serve it to him and I don't think you would quickly walk away. Like many times you would you know, here's your tea. I got things to do.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the Lord is sitting in that chair. You will give that you will place the tea in his hand and you will sit down and look his way. Remember, remember those words those definitions you will be looking his way to see how the tea is.

You will watch while he takes the first sip. Is it too hot? I can get an ice cube to put in there. Does it taste? All right. Is there enough honey in it? Oh, yes, it's fine. Okay. Okay, will you walk away?

Will you now walk away? No, you won't walk away. The Lord is sitting in that chair. You want to know what comes out of his mouth? I mean that you're gonna you're hanging on the edge of your seat to see what he's gonna say.

Next the Lord is sitting in that chair. Amen. Think about it again as you're walking back Into the kitchen you say well Lord, I have supper on the table. Would you like to eat and The Lord will say oh, yes, I'm very hungry, but I'm sorry.

I need to make a phone call first. Could you hold the supper just a little while and till I get done with my phone call? What do you think your response would be? Would you say to the Lord? Now, wait a minute Lord that stuff's already on the table.

You know, it's already in the table. It's already hot. You eat now make your phone call later. How many would say that to the Lord? Not one taker. No, not one taker. No, you'd say that's fine Lord. Let me just quickly put it back into the oven.

Keep it warm. You make your phone call and then I'll put it out on the table for you. I mean anything you want Lord anything you want. Right. That is what you would say, isn't it? I Wonder if we would even think some of the thoughts that go through our mind when our husband asked such a request of us.

I Don't think we could we would do it because it is the Lord that is sitting in my house, and we wouldn't do that. Beloved sisters. This is the picture of what God is saying in Ephesians chapter 5 in verse 22.

And when you take that verse and couple it with all those definition of reverence I'm telling you that is exactly what God is saying. You shall relate to your husband and This is what makes the man hit the altar and say I'm not worth that.

You're right fellas. You're not worth it. That's for you to think. Not for you to think. You understand that's how it always works, you know. Yeah, let him think he's not worth it. In fact, you lay out the red carpet.

He'll think more he's not worth it. But you think he's worth it. He's the Lord in my house. Amen. Maybe you're thinking by now. This guy is crazy. I Mean my husband isn't the Lord and he sure doesn't act like the Lord.

Let me encourage you to be careful not to react you may miss a very important life-changing Principle if you get too reactive here. Remember Paul is giving his vision of a spirit-filled marriage. Don't react so quick dream a while you may get something good out of it.

Reverence Amid a Husband's Imperfections

My mind also goes to John Rice's wife. Some of you may not know him Dr. John Rice. I knew him when he was an old man a dear old man my. But he was an evangelist. He was an editor. He was an author. He was a preacher.

He was a pastor and he was well known as a family man, I think he raised six daughters him and his dear wife mrs. Rice. Well this man Raised six daughters and those six daughters never felt Neglected even though as I evaluate Dr. Rice's life in light of the principles that I've been preaching all week long.

I Think he failed a bit. He was on the road all the time. He was gone two or three weeks at a time. Sometimes he's gone for a month before he came back to his dear wife and his six lovely daughters as I look at it All I think he didn't do right in that.

He should have focused more on his family. However, even though I feel he made a mistake there his daughters grew up and they never felt rejected or neglected by their father. Do you know why? Because mrs. Rice reverenced her husband.

She reverenced her husband. She would get down on her knees day by day as daddy was away with all those six Little girls they would get down on their knees and she would pray and she prayed with all the sincerity of her heart.

Oh God, we thank you that our daddy is a preacher. We thank you God that he's out winning souls. We thank you Lord that he's on the front lines of the battle for you God. We pray for him. We pray that you'll bless our daddy.

We pray that you'll use him tonight while he's preaching. We pray that you'll bring him home to us safely Lord and we long for the day when he comes through the door again. And when he hit when he came through the door again that dear lady had done her homework.

So well preaching daddy to those six daughters all those days while he was gone they hit him with all the joy and enthusiasm that they could and they received him with joy and Reverence into the household when he came back in again.

Now, I think he made a mistake. I think he should have been home more often. But you would never know it by the way, those six girls turned out because mama referenced her husband. May ask you this question is honor based on perfection.

Is Honor based on perfection. Do we just honor when somebody is worthy of honor? Hmm. No. We know the answer honor is based on position. I mean If you're on your way to this meeting and you're going down the road and all of a sudden you see those lights Going on behind you in the vehicle behind you and you realize a policeman is pulling you over.

It doesn't matter if that guy was a drunk last night and beat his wife. When he gets out of that car with his uniform on you are gonna roll down your window and say Yes, officer. Aren't you? That's honor based on position dear ladies.

You're gonna have to do some of that in your home. Some of you have this thing turned around in your mind and you think yeah. Well my husband and he doesn't and he doesn't that and you should see what he does here and listen if honor Was based on performance not a one of us could get any of it.

But God has designed the family unit to function with honor. So we better figure out how we can honor even though they don't do it all the way they ought to do it. Amen. Because listen it is that system of honor that lets that policeman keep law and order in the land if Everybody rolls up and said that fella is a drunk.

I'm not gonna do what he says. Guess what? We would have chaos and Anarchy in this land very quickly and you know what? We'd all be begging that the principle of honor would come running back as quick as it can get here.

So we can all have order in our world dear friends. What about the honor in the order in our home where the precious little ones are being raised? It's more important to have honor there than even it is in all around us here.

Breaking the Generational Cycle of Disrespect

May the Lord help us and guide us in these things. Good the clock is being good to me today. Let's talk about a sad story of generational sin for just a minute. This happens all the time by the way, you know, I Live in Lancaster County and in Lancaster County, they know the genealogies around here.

They know the genealogies. I mean they can tell you. Yeah, I remember so-and-so and their mom and dad and I know I remember their dad and I remember their dad's dad. And I heard stories about their dad's dad's dad.

I mean they got their genealogy straight around here. That can be good, but that can be bad also. There once was a nagging woman Who dishonored her husband continually? She told him how dumb he was she told him that he can't do anything, right?

She told him that he's a bum and she nagged at him because he wouldn't take all the responsibilities. That she thought that he ought to take in the home. That nagging woman had little girls who also lived in the home.

And as we said the other day those little girls were wide open. With open hearts as they lived in the home and sat in the atmosphere of this nagging woman who degraded her husband day by day. One day those little girls became teenagers and guess what all of a sudden.

Their sweet daddy that they thought was so great all of a sudden. Daddy was wrong. Daddy was wrong. They begin to complain about their dad. They they begin to agree with their mom when mom started picking on dad.

They joined right in with mom and continued to beat him down and tell him what a bad job He's doing and how poor it is. One day that young lady Got old enough to get married and a young man came along and he was a foolish Undiscerning young man.

He just looked at the outside and she looked pretty and she liked the dress. She wore and all those kind of things and she seemed fun to him. So they courted a while and then they got married and after they got married.

Guess what happened all of a sudden this little girl who now has become a woman. Began to turn loose on him and tell him how dumb he was and how wrong he was and all the things that he's doing. Wrong in the house and how come you can't fulfill your responsibilities and there he was slowly slowly slowly.

Being beat down and created into the same image that her father was and now she's married to the same kind of a guy and Spits it in his face and says you're just like my dad. But guess what? Little children come along and there's little girls in the house and the little girls are in the house.

Listen to all these words and those little girls are receiving all those things into their hearts and someday. They grow up and become teenagers and we become teenagers all of a sudden. Daddy isn't such a great daddy anymore and they start picking on him and they join in with mom.

To let him have it and tell him how dumb he is and why I didn't do this the way you should have and why don't. You pay the bills on time and on and on it went and on and on the story goes. It's a sad sad story and dear dear sisters that story in some families has gone on for Generations and generations.

Would somebody please pull the cord and stop that thing? Because I'm telling you it's passing on from generation to generation. And by the way, it's not fair to give your daughter away to that poor guy who thinks she's pretty.

Let him know what he's getting. Tell him By the way. You think she's pretty now, but you wait until you you do something that she doesn't like. She will give you a piece of her mind real fast. So at least he knows what he's getting into when he marries her pretty face.

Amen. Please let him know. It's not right to not tell agreed. Great-grandmother had it grandmother had it mother had it daughter had it and the little girls are gonna have it, too. If we don't break the chain now.

And I'm making the plea to you dear sisters If you are caught in this trap break the chain for the sake of your daughters. Break the chain. Or don't get married. Girls don't get married. Let me leave you these challenging questions.

Winning a Lost Husband Through Prayer and Wailing

If your husband dear sisters if your husband was lost. Would your life win him or drive him away? From the Lord. If your husband was lost. Would your life win him? Or drive him away from the Lord. It's a good question for us to ask ourselves because sometimes We kind of take things for granted, you know.

But what if he was lost? What if he was lost? What if he was gonna die and go to hell someday? Would your life win him or drive him away? This is a good question. Turn to Jeremiah in closing Jeremiah in closing Jeremiah chapter 9.

Does your husband have problems? I'm sure he does. Are there some needs in his life? I'm sure there are. What are we going to do about it? What shall we do? God says to you dear ladies? Through the Prophet Jeremiah who was living in a Situation where it was a very sad sad state of affairs everywhere the men of Israel.

Were way way worse than anything that we could even imagine. They had turned away from their responsibilities. They had turned away from the burden of the Lord. They had turned away from the Lord. They had turned away from all kinds of things that they should have been doing.

Here's what Jeremiah said. Here's what God said through Jeremiah to the ladies of the land. Jeremiah 9 verse 17. Thus saith the Lord of hosts. Consider ye and call call for the morning women that they may come.

Send for cunning women that they may come. Let them make haste and take up a wailing for us. For the men for us. Take up a wailing for us. What are you gonna wail about? That our eyes may run down with tears.

That our Eyelids may gush out with waters. What are they praying for God? Would you break the heart of our men till their eyes? Gush forth with tears. That's the prayer. Verse 19. For a voice of wailing is heard out of Zion.

Oh For a voice of wailing to be heard out the Zion again. How are we spoiled? We are greatly Confounded because we have forsaken the land because our dwellings have cast us out. Yet hear the word of the Lord.

Oh Women and let your ear receive the word at God's mouth. Teach your daughters wailing and everyone her neighbor. Lamentations. What a powerful verse we have here. God Tells us through the prophet Jeremiah what the ladies are supposed to do when everything is falling apart.

God doesn't say rise up and be the one that teaches family devotions. God doesn't say rise up and take the lead and tell your husband what he ought to be doing. God doesn't say rise up and control the house and make it go the way you think it ought to go.