Anger Management

Welcome to No Compromise Radio, a ministry coming to you from Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston. No Compromise Radio is a program dedicated to the ongoing proclamation of Jesus Christ, based on the theme in Galatians 2, verse 5, where the apostle Paul said, but we did not yield in subjection to them for even an hour, so that the truth of the gospel would remain with you.

In short, if you like smooth, watered-down words to make you simply feel good, this show isn't for you. By purpose, we are first biblical, but we can also be controversial. Stay tuned for the next 25 minutes as we're called by the divine trumpet to summon the troops for the honor and glory of her King.

Here's our host, Pastor Mike Abendroth.

Why Anger Matters in a Sinful World

Welcome to Bethlehem Bible Church's show called No Compromise Radio. My name is Mike Abendroth, as you just heard our host say, and today we're gonna talk about an interesting topic, a topic that I think you'll find fascinating.

I just learned the other day that there are some people listening to the show that disagree with me, and they sit and listen and are trying to formulate their arguments so they can email me and tell me why I'm right, why I'm wrong, if I'm a heretic, if I'm a false teacher, and I love it that people are listening.

I love it that people listen, even though they might not like everything I say. I want you to be a discerner. Certainly, everything I say isn't true. I think it's true, or else I wouldn't say it, but I want you to be a discerner.

I want to go back to Luther when he was fighting against the Roman Catholic Church, and he was talking about the priesthood of all believers. Certainly, your pastors, your elders, your leaders have a function at church, but they, if they're doing it properly, for instance, should have a communion service where they're all equal.

They get served last. They don't turn their back to you when they're offering up some kind of host to God. No, not that at all, and so I want you to be a discerner, and I want you to study and learn, and I hope you're like people who study, so much so that you are confirmed in your own mind and affirmed that this is what the Bible teaches.

Well, so much for that introduction. I want to talk today about anger. We live in an angry society. There are all kinds of comic strips that talk about angry. In Los Angeles, there used to be a little strip called the angriest dog in the world.

We have road rage. People are angry for all kinds of things. I think about the Beatles back in the 60s where they'd have to go through an early 70s, primal scream therapy. You can even hear that a little bit in the song, Hey Jude.

But anyway, anger is an important topic today because it is common. It is a strong emotion. Most of us have to deal with this topic actually daily, dealing with anger even in our own lives daily. And so we want to make sure we think about anger today, and we want to make sure we think about it properly.

And if we're not careful, sin deceives. Sin creeps up on us. I think of Hebrews chapter three, but encourage one another day after day as long as it is still called today, lest any one of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

And sin deceives us into thinking that we have a right to be angry, unbiblically angry. We have a right to say, well, they aren't supposed to get angry, but I can. Some kind of standard on others that we don't want upon ourselves.

That's called hypocrisy. We have to make sure we work through the callousness of sin and see what does the Bible teach about anger? And we could maybe call today anger management, if you'd like. And so what does the Bible teach you?

Well, how does God reveal his mind through the apostles and prophets and teachers in the Bible so you can understand what he thinks about anger? Not what the shrinks think, not what the psychologists think, not what Wall Street Journal thinks, not what the Boston Globe thinks, but what does God think about anger?

Anger Can Be Righteous When It Targets Sin

Number one, anger is not always sinful. Did you know that? Anger is not always and forever sinful. I could ask the question this way, true or false, anger is a command. The Bible teaches in scripture, that's duplication, but the Bible teaches that you should be angry.

The answer to that is yes, true. Ephesians 4, 26 and 27, be angry. How about that? Be angry. Maybe we should call the show today, Be Angry. Josh, write that down, be angry. And yet, there's a comma after angry, be angry and yet do not sin.

Do not let the sun go down on your anger and do not give the devil an opportunity. Be angry, be enraged, be moved with anger. The Greek word there in Ephesians 4, 26, be angry. Or gizzo, where we get the word ogre, you be angry.

Now you have to ask yourself the question, there's got to be the right kind of anger and the wrong kind of anger. And the answer is, that is true. Let me read you from Exodus chapter 11, as we begin to wrap our minds around proper, sinful anger.

The snow plows outside and he's too loud. I think I'm gonna scream out there and tell him to quiet down, I'm on the radio. That makes me mad, I'm angry about that. And Moses said, Exodus 11, thus says the Lord Yahweh, about midnight I am going out into the midst of Egypt and all the firstborn in the land of Egypt shall die, from the firstborn of Pharaoh who sits on his throne, even to the firstborn of the slave girl who is behind the millstones, all the firstborn of the cattle as well.

Moreover, there shall be a great cry in all the land of Egypt, you know there will be, such as there have never been before and such shall never be again. But against any of the sons of Israel, a dog shall not even bark, whether against man or beast, that you may understand how the Lord makes a distinction between Egypt and Israel.

And all these your servants will come down to me and bow themselves before me. So here we go, if you're thinking about anger, we're getting close. Go out you and all the people who follow you and after that I will go out.

And he went out from Pharaoh in hot anger, in burning, fierce, hot anger. The word there in Hebrew where we get the word anger is comes from a nose or a nostril or a face, angry. There is a anger that is proper and there is an anger that is improper.

Obviously in Ephesians, Paul is saying to the church of Ephesus, you need to be angry for the right reasons with the right motives and be angry about what gods are angry at. And that would be the right kind of holy and righteous indignation.

That's what it would be for. And Nehemiah talks about it as well. Then I was very angry when I heard their outcry and these words, Nehemiah chapter five, with much force, with much abundance, he was very angry when he heard these things.

He was burning when it came to that. Ephesians chapter four is actually a quote from the Old Testament, Psalm four, tremble and do not sin. The word tremble there in the Hebrew, which is of course different than Ephesians in the Greek, the Hebrew is to be agitated, to quiver, to tremble, to become moved, to rage.

The bottom line is this. It is not sinful to get angry when you get angry at sin. When you get angry at things God would be angry at. Now it's a very tight rope to walk, but it is in scripture. And so we have to make sure we understand that.

Psalm 711, God is a righteous judge and a God who has indignation every day. He's angry, he has indignation every single day. And so the first thing I'd like to say today is not all anger is sinful, because God commands us to be angry about certain things.

And whether that is injustice, or whether that is attack on God's truth, attack on the character and person and work of Christ Jesus, attack on the literal resurrection, attack on the local church. I think those things, they should move you to anger.

Most Anger Is Sinful and Must Be Repented Of

I've only got 24 minutes, so I've got to cut some of these things out, but maybe we'll do two parts someday, we'll see. Number two, most of today's anger is sinful. And here's one of the ways I know it's sinful.

Well, because the Bible tells me, yes, but also we have code words. When there are code words used, excuse me, it usually shows that we're trying not to use the Bible word for it because we know the Bible says something about the topic.

And so therefore we want to get a different word so then we're not condemned by the Bible's use of the other word. So instead of saying, I'm angry, these are the code words that we use. These are the code words you use.

And of course, when I say you, I do it too, but I'm preaching to you, I'm talking to you who are listening. This is not we, the royal we, this is not we, the elders and me, I'm talking to you. And so if you use these words, you have to ask yourself the question, am I angry?

You use these code words, hurt, that really hurt me, upset, offended, bothered, are any of these hitting close to home? Annoyed, irritated, I get irritated a lot, resentful, irate, at the boiling point, enraged, infuriated, disturbed, disappointed, frustrated, ticked off, hot under the collar, worked up, distressed, bitter, displeased, I got up on the wrong side of the bed, I blew my stack.

These are code words for mad or angry. I did find an interesting proverb that brings home the point. Anger, A-N-G-E-R, is just one letter short of danger, D-A-N-G-E-R, R-R-R, it's true though, anger is just one letter short of danger.

For you see, Jesus said in Matthew 5, that when you're angry at someone, it's just like murder. Being angry, sinfully, is mental murder. You are a murderer if you have been angry. Matthew 5, you have heard that the ancients were told, you shall not commit murder, and whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.

Yeah, that seems true, that seems good, that's true. And here comes Jesus, and he says with contrast, but I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court, and whoever shall say to his brother, Raca, you good for nothing, you empty head, shall be guilty before the supreme court, and whoever shall say, you fool, shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell, into Gehenna, into the place that was associated with human sacrifices being burnt, and now is a picture of how bad hell is really going to be.

You empty head, you fool, and when your heart becomes angry, and your heart becomes full of hatred, and that hatred then spills out into your mouth, and then out of your mouth, Jesus says that is mental murder.

Not only is it mental murder, angry is foolish. Proverbs 20, verse three, keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, but any fool will quarrel. Any fool will quarrel, and so we have to be careful.

You have to be careful that you're not mad all the time, and by the way, the way the society is set up today with media, that is internet, TV, newspapers, newscasts, they all want to give you things that will push you.

It will drive you, and many of them will drive you to be angry. I know people that are sinfully angry because of some political party they don't agree with. What is that? That is called sin. If you're angry because of some kind of politician does something that he said he would or wouldn't do, I think you ought to examine yourself for sinful anger.

Now you'll quickly tell me, that's righteous indignation, and I'm mad because I'm standing up for the truth of God. I think if you're talking about abortion, I think you would be right. You would have sinful anger that people for political gain, for being reelected would say, you know what?

I think it's okay for women to kill their own babies in their womb, the place where there should be the most protection, the most care, the most comfort, the most protection, we'll just kill that baby for the sake of one political vote.

That does make me angry, and it should make you angry. But all the time in the back of our minds, we must remember that we have a sin problem even as Christians, and that sin wraps itself around and through and in our being, and we have to be careful that we just don't say, well, it's righteous indignation, and I'm just like Jesus clearing the temple.

We want to watch out for that kind of thinking. And so we might ask the question, what are some ways we could decrease sinful anger? If you've got an anger problem, what should we do? What should you do?

You shouldn't go say, I've got to take an anger management class at some kind of shrink, psychologist, psychiatric person, because A, they're going to probably sedate you, and B, what are they going to do?

They're going to tell you, here's how you get better in our system, thinking that man is basically good. That is the problem with psychology. Whatever school of psychology you want to look at, they've got the wrong view of man.

They don't believe in the fall of Adam. They don't believe in the depravity of man, the corrupt nature of man. They should, they should read the newspaper and see and find out. They should look at their own hearts and see, we've got a problem, even as the teachers, as the psychologists, but why go to a place that promotes Skinner, Maslow, Adler, Freud, et al., when they've got the wrong view of man, and they've got the wrong view of God, and you say, well, I've got a Christian psychologist.

Christian psychologists is like grape nuts. They're not grapes, and they're not nuts, and many times, sadly, they're not Christian, because they don't give Christian help out, and they're not psychologists, and so maybe my illustration falls flat, but what doesn't fall flat is this.

If you need help, you need to go to the scriptures, because God knows how to deal with sinful anger, and He knows what it's like to be tempted in all ways, even to be sinfully angry. Jesus was tempted, yet He never fell into sinful anger, not one moment, not one day, not one thought, so how do you decrease your sinful anger, and how do you increase your righteous indignation?

Well, the first thing I'd like to say is, to decrease sinful anger, you should recognize that the Bible teaches that anger is not something that someone or something makes you do. No one else makes you angry.

The person that cuts you off on the road, the person that God gave you for a spouse, the kids that you have, somebody else, a neighbor, they don't make you angry. You make yourself angry. That's the first thing you need to do, is to confess, to agree with God, I make myself angry.

James said in chapter one, let no one say when he is tempted, I am being tempted by God, for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself emphatically does not tempt anyone, but each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lusts.

I do think some people are more prone to being angry than others, but everyone has to realize it's their own problem. You cannot blame environment, you cannot blame sleep deprivation, you cannot blame PMS, you cannot blame whatever the thing is, and the things can actually be real and true.

You could have a lack of sleep, you could have a lot of hormones, you could have some kind of complication physically, you could be eight and a half months pregnant, you could be having the flu, you could be susceptible to being more easily angry, but still at the end of the day, it is a sin.

God holds you responsible for your actions that you can control, and that's why Psalm 37 says, cease from anger and forsake wrath, and do not fret, it leads only to evil doing. And so, would you please see anger as a sin?

God, I'm angry and it's sinful, and I won't hide behind, well, it's righteous indignation any longer. Colossians 3, memorize this verse, but now you also put them aside. Here are things that you need to get off your desk.

Anger, that's the first one, just get rid of it. Anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth. Get rid of it, confess it, repent of it, ask God for forgiveness, and experience the joy of forgiveness.

Don't shift blame any longer, don't deny it, don't hide it, don't internalize it. You have nothing to defend. You say, I am who I am by the grace of God. I stand before God as justified based on Christ's perfect life, work, death, and resurrection, and I know I'm a sinner.

I've fallen short, and I sin, and I hate it when I do, and would you please forgive me, and then say the same thing to God. You don't have to somehow shift blame. You don't have to deny it. You don't have to internalize it.

You don't have to feed it by review. You don't have to hold a grudge. Philippians 4 says, let your forbearing spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Let your large-hearted, courteous, gentle, considerate, lenient, moderate spirit be known to everyone.

How about Ephesians 4? Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, all bitterness, wrath, and anger, and clamor, and slander be put away from you along with all malice. Get rid of that impulse that is quick to be angered and full of wrath.

Put it away, hoist it away, carry it away, pack it up, throw it overboard. That's the way the Bible teaches. We should deal with anger. And by the way, when it comes to sanctification for Christians who want to put off sin and put on righteousness, it's always two different ways of going about it.

And the way is first, get rid of, and then the new way is add. So you subtract and you add. So you tell a kid, don't hit, use your hands to be kind and loving. Same thing, don't steal, work. Don't lie, tell the truth.

So don't get angry, you replace that behavior, Ephesians 4, with kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has also forgiven you. Now that's a long way away from what the world says, vent.

They don't know who they're talking to, primal scream. It's like the people who are so mad at their father for doing some horrible thing to them that they go to the grave site and vent at the top of their lungs and urinate all over their father's grave.

That is just A, foolish, B, stupid, and C, catastrophically sinful. God knows what's good for you. And if God thought the way you should deal with anger is to go to the grave site and scream your head off or rush home and I'm gonna give them a piece of my mind, he would tell you that.

But instead he said, stop it. And now, because of the resources you have in Christ Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit who dwells inside of you, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other just as God in Christ has forgiven you.

One man said of the seven deadly sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontation still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back, in many ways it is a feast fit for a king.

The chief drawback is that you are wolfing down yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you. Frederick Buchner. One of the other things that I could tell you in our short time left is don't go to bed sinfully angry.

Do something about it. Confess, repent, forsake, work through it. Don't go to bed mad because you give the devil an opportunity, Ephesians chapter four says. You let his foot in the door. Don't forget as well that you are not God.

Sinful anger is idolatry and you basically say, I will be God. When God says in Romans chapter 12, vengeance is mine, I will repay, then don't be angry. Leave room for the wrath of God. Never take your own revenge, beloved, Paul says.

You are a slave with no rights. If you're a Christian, you are bought with a price and so you let God take care of all the injustices in the world. Another thing I could encourage you to do is avoid angry people.

Well, if you're married, there's not much you can do except pray for your spouse, but there are hotheaded people that you know and did you know Solomonic wisdom says in Proverbs 22, 24, do not associate with a man given to anger or go with a hot tempered man.

Why? The next verse tells you, lest you learn his ways and find a snare for yourself. You say, well, yeah, but there's some people at work and at home I cannot avoid, they are angry. Well, if you can't avoid them, use this wisdom, Proverbs 15, one, a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

And so what you do is when you talk to people, you give them gentle answers and it's hard to fight with people who are like that. Proverbs 17, 14, the beginning of strife is like the letting out of water.

So abandon the quarrel before it breaks out. And so we have to watch out for some of the people we're with, but I would say lots of times the tone of your voice causes a good majority of the friction.

So use the right tone, the right words, and I think you'll be much better off. I also wanna remind you that if you're angry, that ultimate anger is against God. God could have sovereignly prevented whatever situation you were in.

He could have sovereignly prevented you from meeting that person, marrying that person, having those people for kids, but God designed that, God purposed it, God made that happen. And so when you say, I'm angry at someone else, that is true, but your ultimate anger is directed not to those people, but to the God who has placed you in that circumstance.

And so when you say, well, I'm mad at someone, I'm angry at someone, you need to confess that sin to God as well, because you've sinned against him. He said, don't be angry, and he's actually providentially, sovereignly put you in that place.

So when David sins against Bathsheba and commits adultery, David says against you and you only, God, I have sinned and committed this great treason against you. I've sinned against you. And so he sinned against Bathsheba, certainly against Uzziah, certainly against Uriah, excuse me.

He sinned against Israel, yes, the army, yes, but ultimately God. Why am I angry? What rights of mine are being denied? What desires do I have aren't being fulfilled? What expectations do I have? And when you realize how sinful you are and what you deserve and what God has given you, that will turn the table.

And instead of being angry, you will say to yourself, hmm, I ought not to be angry. I ought to study the holiness of God and see what he's angry at, and he's going to be angry if I'm sinfully angry. You ought to study the life of Christ and to see what he did and how he did things, and you will see how he's deeply moved at times and sternly warned people, but he never had some kind of sinful, angry outbreak.

Anger, Forgiveness, and Trusting God's Justice

My name's Mike Abendroth. This is NoCompromiseRadio .com. Email us at info at NoCompromiseRadio. You are commanded to be angry, but you have to be angry in such a way that you're not sinning. You'll need to pray to God to have that happen.

No Compromise Radio with Pastor Mike Abendroth is a production of Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston. Bethlehem Bible Church is a Bible-teaching church firmly committed to unleashing the life-transforming power of God's word through verse-by-verse exposition of the sacred text.

Please come and join us. Our service times are Sunday morning at 1015 and in the evening at six. We're right on route 110 in West Boylston. You can check us out online at bbchurch .org or by phone at 508 -835 -3400.

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