The Snare of the Deliver - Slovakia Conference 2003 (Slovakian/english) — Gary Wilkerson

Let's pray together.

We thank you, Jesus, for ministering mightily to us here this afternoon, and I thank you for the honor and the privilege of sharing your word with such hungry people. Come and fill this hunger and this thirsting of our soul.

Bless your word here today. Let it come in life and power that our hearts would be changed, not just during this conference, but a life change. And we give you thanks in Jesus' name, amen. Turn with me in your Bibles, if you would, the book of Judges and the eighth chapter and the message of the Lord is put on my heart here this afternoon is going to speak about our life and our family.

Gideon and the Snare of the Deliverer

I want to talk about the snare of the deliverer. We understand in this eighth chapter of the book of Judges, it speaks of the mighty works of Gideon. Most of you have read the story of the life of Gideon, and you know, he was a mighty man of God.

He'd be the kind of man you'd want to be around because once he got started, nothing could stop him. He was radically obedient to God, and as he learned to trust in God, God did great things through his life, and he was called a mighty deliverer, a great leader.

He was a leader of leaders. He was a man who could change nations. He was a man so filled with God's spirit that the whole nation was delivered. The enemy was overcoming Israel. The people of Israel were in bondage.

They were suffering and in poverty. And through one man, a man who sought God, a man who put his trust in God, this whole nation was delivered. There are men and women in this place who God has called to be a mighty deliverer in your family and in your church, in your city and in your nation, and even around the world to raise you up to be a mighty man of God.

I enjoy being around mighty men of God. I travel full time all around the world with a mighty deliverer. I see it in my own father's ministry. Everywhere we go, we meet dozens and dozens of men, women who are on drugs and addicted to alcohol, and they became free because of the ministry of Teen Challenge, a mighty deliverance.

In New York City, you've heard of the church that has 8 ,000 people. There's mighty deliverance, and I know there are pastors and leaders in this room today who are hungry to become a leader like that, not just for your own sake, but to see so many lives touched and changed.

And Gideon became so fruitful, so effective and such a mighty deliverer. In verse 22 of chapter 8, it says,. Then the men of Israel said to Gideon, Rule over us both you and your son and your grandson also, for you have delivered us from the hand of Midian.

They understood what kind of man this was. He was a take charge kind of guy. He probably worked day and night to accomplish great tasks, so they recognized his gifts and his leadership, and they asked him to rule over them to become their king.

But Gideon said to them, verse 23, I will not rule over you, nor shall my son rule over you, for the Lord shall rule over you. Gideon's getting it right. He's trusting God. God's moving in strength through his life and ministry.

Men want to give him credit. Men want him to take power and control, and he refuses it. What a wonderful work. He's not only a mighty deliverer, but he's a humble man. He's not looking for position or place.

He doesn't need to be recognized in a political way. Sometimes we go to conferences and you can see pastors there who are looking to be with everybody, to shake everybody's hand, to get them to get to know the other big leaders.

They're trying to position themselves to get a higher office. And Gideon knows it's foolishness. He wants nothing of it. He wants God and not just political power. So he refuses it. He says, my son won't rule over you.

I won't rule over you, but God will rule. God is going to be the leader of our nation. This is a precious thing. This is how we want to be. But there's something in Gideon's life. He has one little thought, a small thing.

Gideon's Small Compromise

I don't want to be king. I don't need political power. But what I want is this. Verse 24. Then Gideon said to them, I would like to make a request of you that each of you would give me the earrings of his plunder.

All he wanted was some small earrings. Just a little bit of this, these trinkets. It sounds like no big deal. He was a mighty deliverer. God was using him. He was the man of God and he was even humble and refused to take the kingship.

But he has this one small compromise. Verse 27 describes it even more. Then Gideon made it to a Nephite and he set it up in his city, Ophira, and all Israel played the harlot with it there. And it became a snare to Gideon and to his house and to his house.

There was a snare, a small little thing, just something that got him off track. Most of his ministry was going right. He was obeying God in many areas, but he wants one little thing, one small thing got in the way.

What he does is takes these gold earrings and he builds a religious garment out of them. Vifad is what the priest would wear. Why did he want to build this? Why would he want to wear this? I can think of only one thing.

He wanted to be seen as spiritual. He had mighty deliverances militarily. He didn't care about political power, but he wanted to look good spiritually. I see this all the time. When people are in worship services, trying to draw attention to themselves, wanting to show people how spiritual they are.

I was preaching at Times Square Church one time and the pastor sit up on the stage and some chairs along here. And we have cameras in our church that sometimes look at the on the stage and they have a big screen up on the top.

And there's a little monitor down by the pastors where they can see what's happening on the screens. And I was worshiping the Lord on the stage and the camera happened to pan by me and show a picture of me on the screen.

And I had my hands raised and I was worshiping. And on the screen, I noticed my suit was kind of sticking up in the air because I had my hands raised. And I started thinking to myself, that makes me look kind of fat.

I better unbutton my button here so I would look better. And I couldn't believe it. Right in the middle of a worship, just getting ready to preach. And what I'm concerned about is what I was looking like.

God doesn't care what you look like. He doesn't want you to put on a religious front. He doesn't want you to draw attention to yourself. But Gideon had this one snare. And because of that one small thing in his heart, because of that one small compromise, it tragically affected his family.

It was a snare, not just to him. His religious pride was a snare to his whole household. In verse 34, it says,. Then the children of Israel did not remember the Lord their God. Gideon's own children forgot the Lord their God.

They no longer worshipped. Because of this one small snare, you may think your compromises are small, but when your wife and your children see your compromises and they know you're preaching one thing but living another, it affects them and they lose their faith.

That's why so many young people, particularly so many pastors, children are turning from the Lord. When I went to Bible college my first year on my floor was a young man whose father was a very well-known pastor, a tremendous leader.

But he was not living for God. As a matter of fact, one day he came up to me and he offered me some marijuana. He said, Come on, let's go get high. There's a preacher's son, a preacher's son. And in this Bible college, a lot of preacher's children went to there and there was so much compromise.

So few of them seeking God, partying all weekend, getting drunk, using drugs, sneaking women into their dormitory rooms because they didn't trust what they saw in their family. They thought it was hypocritical.

They didn't want their father's religion. Just because of some small compromises. I worked with a young man. We helped. We started a church together in the inner city. We had just gotten out of college.

He was so on fire for God. Brian was energetic. He had the flame of the Lord in his soul. He was always preaching the gospel. He studied the word day and night. Sometimes in the morning he'd come into my office.

He said, I was studying this last night. And look at this revelation that Jesus gave me. And it would be very deep and profound. And he was always leading people to Jesus. And we go into restaurants. At one time, I remember somebody walked in and he had a cane and he was limping.

And he sat down in a booth across the restaurant. And my friend Brian looked at me. And I knew it was in his mind. He was going to get up and go pray for that man. And I said, not now, Brian. I used to get embarrassed like that.

There's a lot of people here. This is not a Christian restaurant. They're going to think you're strange. He said, I don't care. And he got up and he went over there. He said, can I pray for you that Jesus would heal you?

And he put his hand on his leg. And he prayed in faith and power. He was like Gideon. He was a mighty deliverer, touching many lives, passionate about Jesus. But about six months later, I noticed something in Brian's life.

He was no longer telling me things from the words. He was still witnessing, still preaching. But he had less revelation. His spirit seemed to be diminished. The fire seemed to be subsiding. I asked him one day, Brian, what's wrong?

He said, what do you mean, what's wrong? He seemed different and he looked surprised. He said, there's just one small thing. I'm still praying. I'm still crying out to God. I still study the word. But there's one little thing.

Just every once in a while, when I go into a store and they have the magazines, the pornographic magazines, sometimes I pick them up and I just leaf through them and then I put them down. It's just a little thing, but I've repented of it and I'm asking God to restore me.

Six months later, his spirit seemed even more diminished. We talked once again. He said, the problem has gotten a little bit worse. It's just a small thing. Sometimes I just buy the magazine and I bring it home.

I bring it home, but then I just throw it out because I don't really want that. It's just a small thing. About three months ago, I was in the Ukraine. My wife called me. She said, honey, I just got off the phone with Brian.

Since that time we were working together, he's gotten addicted to pornography. And my wife was calling me and said, Brian's coming over to the house because his wife has just left him. She's taking the children.

The ministry that he worked with had fired him. And in the long run, he lost his wife. He lost his children. He lost his ministry. He lost the home that he was living in. They even repossessed his automobile.

And he had nothing left. It was one small compromise. It seems small in his eyes, but God wanted nothing to do with it. And God loves Brian and he wants to restore him and he doesn't hate him. As a matter of fact, right now, God's doing a deep work in his life, stripping away all those things.

But there's just one thing. And many of us in this room have that one thing, that one controversy that God has with us. We can be mighty deliverers. We can preach powerful sermons. We can have great leadership skills.

We can have the energy to get amazing things done. But if we cling to that one compromise, it becomes a snare to us. It becomes a snare to our children. I don't want to hear this report. Pastors, you don't want to hear this report.

That the children didn't remember the Lord, that their children, their children forgot God. The children backslid. You don't have to turn there, but the next chapter, we read the story of Gideon's children, how one of the brothers who wanted power ended up killing all 70 of his own brothers.

Murder, envy, strife, hatred were born through this one compromise in Gideon. And it doesn't have to be a very evil one. It doesn't have to be adultery or lust. It doesn't have to be anger or murder. For Gideon, it was something that was religious.

When Ministry Becomes a Snare

The snare that came into my life was also a religious one. I told you earlier this morning how I was so desperate to build a church, so desirous to see something great happen, working in my own flesh to be a mighty deliverer.

I had a I had a goal of building a church of 20 ,000 people and I was working as hard as I could to see it happen. But I was missing out on Jesus. And because of that, I wasn't ministering to my family and to my children.

I got so busy, I got so consumed with the work that I stopped listening to the Lord and it became a snare to me and my family. And I remember one day coming home from work, I had been preaching. I'd been counseling people who were in need.

I've been working with our youth pastor. I've been developing strategies for the next five year plan of our church. And I came home from church after a long day and I was weary, just worn out. And I saw the sports section of the newspaper.

I said, oh, finally some time to relax. I took a deep breath, sat down in my most comfortable chair. I opened up that newspaper and I began to read the sports scores. I started feeling started feeling better.

Oh, my favorite team won. All of a sudden I see something crinkling the bottom of the paper, shaking the bottom of the paper. It was my little five year old daughter. She slipped her head up underneath the newspaper.

She said, hi, daddy. I said, honey, I'm busy. I've had a long day. I can't talk right now. And I pushed her head down and away from the paper, continued reading the paper. She slipped her head up under the paper again.

Hi, daddy. I missed you today. I love you. And basically, I just said this. Yeah, I love you, too. And I pushed her out of the way a third time. She started that thing that little children do, asking the why question.

Parents, you know what I'm talking about? Are you happy today, daddy? I'm OK. Why? Because I'm reading the paper. Why are you reading the paper? Because I want to relax. Why do you want to relax? Because I've had a busy day.

Why have you had a busy day? I pushed her head down again. I want to time alone. One more time. She puts her head up through. How are you doing, daddy? I grabbed her by her arm. And I yelled at her. Can't you leave me alone?

All I want is five minutes. I'm a busy man. I've worked hard all day. You can't even leave me alone. Quit bothering me. And tears came to her eyes. She ran away. She began to weep. I ran to her. I said, sweetheart, I'm so sorry.

Forgive me. You see, I got so busy. I wanted to deliver the world, but I was losing my own daughter. It took a while for that to heal. Because I had been neglecting her. She was wanting her father's love.

She saw me minister to the whole world. But I wasn't ministering to her. My teenage son at the same time. My son, a boy. He was learning to drive. And many of you fathers know that could be a very trying experience.

As you teach your teenage son to drive. But I wanted to try to take some father-son time with him. I had just been to a meeting called the Promise Keepers in America. Do you have that here? Have you heard about the Promise Keepers?

I went to one of their meetings. And they encouraged fathers to spend time with their sons. So I felt obligated to do this. It really wasn't in my heart. But I felt I should. Good fathers, it's their duty to spend time.

So I got in the car. I began to drive down the road. My phone rang. It was my assistant pastor. And we talked for a while. I hung up the phone. I said, son, how are you doing? Before he could answer. The phone rang again.

I talked to my youth pastor. About a youth crusade coming up. I hung up the phone. I began to think about my next day's schedule. We were probably driving 10, 15 minutes. I hardly said a word to him. And he looked at me and he said, dad, you're so boring.

You have no life towards me. Do you not care about me? Why do you not care about me? You ask me questions, but you're not really looking for answers. You begin to talk to me. And your phone rings. I begin to cry out because I need you.

And I can tell you're thinking about plans for your church. You're thinking about your next big sermon. But you're forgetting me. You don't care about me. Once again, I went home. I began to cry. Jesus.

Restoring the Family Through Presence and Love

First, my daughter and my teenage son. I'm just forgetting about them. I'm so busy in ministry. Oh, seeing great things happen. But my own family beginning to drift away. Not truly being close. Not having that intimacy.

But Jesus wants the children to have fathers and mothers. Who when they want to minister. The first person they think about ministering to is their own family. The first sermon they think about preaching.

Is speaking God's truth into their lives. My 19 year old son. He's 19 now. But at that time when we were drifting apart. He began to get mixed up in the world. He's a very gifted musician. And they started a rock group.

They sang. They sang very secular rock songs. Very hard, heavy metal music. And the band he was in started to become well known. And so the band would go to these big concerts. And soon hundreds and thousands of people were coming.

And after the concert, they'd go to parties. And he began to compromise. He began to get involved in things that a Christian young man should not be involved in. He gave his life over to sin in ways that were breaking God's heart.

And I began to pray for him. He came home one day. And he said to me, Dad, they offered me a record contract. They say I could make millions of dollars. They say I could be rich and famous. Could travel all over the world doing music in big stadiums.

Having CDs in the music store. But something happened in his life. From that time when he was 16. God began to change my heart. I began to put priority in my family. Began to pray for them every day. But I didn't point a finger at my son and say, son, you're in compromise.

You need to change. You need to quit running around with the wrong crowd. He didn't need a lecture. What he needed was this for his father to change. So that I could invest, invest the life of Christ, seek the love of Christ.

Not just lecture him, but truly love him with the love of Jesus. The way Christ loves the church. We are to love our family. And as God changed my heart, he broke my heart about my neglect. I never once had to rebuke my son.

And I'm not saying rebuking sin is wrong. But this rebellion got into his heart because the gospel of Jesus was not attractive to him. He didn't want what his father had. But he began to see a change in me.

A peace that came over me. A fresh touch of Jesus. No longer driven just to be successful, but just hungry to love God and love others. And I want to tell you some good news. About three weeks ago, he called me up.

He said, dad, I've got something I think you're going to want to hear. Jesus got a hold of my heart. He touched my life. I'm a changed man. Everything's new. And yesterday, I walked up to the band. I said, guys, I love you.

And I know you're not going to want to hear what I have to say. But I'm quitting the band today. You make your millions. You get the groupies chasing you. You become famous because I've got something else now.

I've got Jesus. I've got him in my heart. He's changed my life. And I'm giving it up. I'm giving up the band, all the fame and fortune. You can have it all, but I want Jesus. I said, son, that's great news.

There's nothing better I could hear. Yesterday, he called me long distance. So dad, I just got in my new apartment. I'm in New York City. Today's my first day of work. I'm working in Harlem, one of the worst neighborhoods in New York City.

He's involved in a children's ministry. He's leading worship for about 100 children in the inner city. He said, dad, I'm not going to get rich. The girls aren't chasing me, but I have Jesus and I couldn't be happier.

He said, thanks, dad, for being a good example. My son's in the ministry today because God changed his father's heart. And I'm in the ministry today because of my own father, not because he's a great preacher.

I don't serve Jesus because he wrote the cross and the switchblade. But I saw something in his life, how he was present to us, willing to spend time with us. One time he came home from a very long trip.

He said, son, I've missed you. I've been gone for two weeks and I really long to spend some quality time with you. He said, let's go for a bike ride. I think I was about 12 years old. So we went for a really long bike ride.

I had a great time. He was so present to me, asking important questions. I had a wonderful time. The next day we wake up. He says, son, let's go for another bike ride. We went for another bike ride. Oh, we had a great time together.

Third day, he wakes up. He says, son, let's go for a bike ride. I took a deep breath. Dad, I love you, but I've got a life, too. I've got friends. They're wondering, they're wondering why I'm spending all my time with my dad.

They wanted me to come play with them. So I said, Dad, I'm sorry. I don't have time for you today. And I love that. He was a busy man. He was a mighty deliverer. He had a great ministry, changing lives all over the world.

But he cared for his own son. And there's two reasons I'm preaching the gospel here today. Because I love Jesus and he called me, number one. And secondly, because my father was a good example. Not just preaching it, but living it.

But my wife got involved in the situation as well. When I was going through that time, that period where there's this snare in my life, my wife could feel it as well. I was becoming a stranger to her.

She came up to me one day. She said, you're so busy and it's so hard to be a pastor's wife. There's a lot of pastor's wives here. Who could say amen to how hard it is to be a pastor's wife? She has a very difficult job.

The church has high expectations of her. She has to attend all the meetings. She has to talk to everybody in a nice way. She can never have a bad day or an off day. She told me one time, I would like to one time, one time I would like to just do this one thing.

I'd like to just yell at somebody in my church just to get out the anger because things are difficult at times. And for many pastor's wives, they have no one to talk to. You can't complain about your husband to somebody else when your husband is the pastor.

And then people call you day and night and they'll complain about your husband. They'll say the church services are too long. They're spending money the wrong way. They have all kinds of complaints. And the pastor's wife's hear all these things and they take them into their heart.

But they don't tell their husbands because they don't want to bring their spirit down. So they're holding on to a great burden. And my wife came up to me one day. She said, is there anything else that you have ever wanted to do with your life?

Have you ever thought about being a doctor, a plumber, a sanitation worker? Anything, because I'm tired. I don't want to be a pastor's wife anymore. I don't care where we live. I'm just worn out. I'm just tired.

I asked her, what was the reason? She said, I have nobody to talk to. She said, you can talk to me. And she almost laughed. She said, talk to you? She said, the phone rings every time we start a conversation.

You're always thinking of something else. I seem to get the leftovers. I seem to get the leftovers, just the crumbs off the table. I come to the church office and I see you in there with your staff. And you're spending hours with them talking and strategizing and praying.

And you come home and I ask you how you're doing. And you say, fine. And you want more. And she says she wants more. Tell me more. I said, oh, I've been talking all day. I don't want to go all over it again.

She says, but I want to know you. I said, we've been married 25 years. You know me. She said, you don't understand. I want to talk to you. I said, you always want to talk, talk, talk. She says, well, you talk all day at the office, but you have nothing to give me.

And again, my heart was broken. Here, my own wife and children, because of my snare, were losing heart. There were nights my wife was crying herself to sleep, waking up at four o 'clock in the morning, praying.

God help me through another day. But as I told you, God began to change my life. God began to minister to me. He began to break my heart and I began to change. But I didn't really grasp how much my wife needed my whole heart.

She was saying I wouldn't really speak into her life. I would communicate information, but I didn't really penetrate her heart. There was no deep communication. There was no genuine affection. And when a pastor gets that way, we just end up using our wives.

They become an assistant in the church. They become a cook in the kitchen. They begin someone, someone to help us raise our kids. We can be involved with them romantically, but we don't truly give them our heart, our minds and our hearts and our lives are not fixed on them.

And they know they're being used and their hearts are sinking. There's a sadness. There's a sadness, there's a weariness because they don't want success, they don't want fame, they don't want money, but they want their husband to show the love, to show the presence of God and the presence of their own heart, to be open to them.

Repentance and Healing in the Home

When the Lord began to change my heart, I was preaching a sermon very similar to this. And my wife came up to me after the sermon and I could see a little tear in her eye. I said, that sermon really touched you, didn't it?

She said, no. I said, what's wrong? That was a good sermon. She said, you were so vulnerable. You told the story of your heart and your life. You weren't just preaching theology, you were sharing a deep part of your heart.

So she said, Gary, that's the first time I ever heard that. You told your church all what's in your heart before you even told me. You can preach things, deep, vulnerable things, but you can't talk to me that way.

Why does the church know things like this before I know these things? And once again, God began to break my heart. And I told Jesus, I've got to change. If I'm going to be a man of love, it's not just going to be in the pulpit.

It's not just going to be in my office with my staff. It's not just in my city trying to be a great deliverer. It has to start in my home. My little daughter has to get up in my lap when I come home from work and I have to delight in that.

And I want to delight in that. And I have to give my wife a big hug and a kiss and have time and energy for her. Because if I'm not doing it in my home, then I'm a phony, a phony. Yes, I'm a hypocrite.

I'm preaching about it. But if I can't live it in my home, then I have no right to preach about it. And God is here today. He's in this very room today to speak to mighty men of God and to touch mighty women of God, to begin to heal women's hearts.

That brokenness that you're facing, that suffering that you're going through, that sense of being all alone. I want to tell you some good news. God is here today. He's here to heal you, to strengthen you, to renew you.

But other good news is this. He's also here to change your husband, to renew his love for you as he renews his love for Jesus. As this conference is about renewing your passion for Jesus and all of our agendas and ambitions are put down and our one ambition becomes to serve Jesus and to love Jesus.

Then that love will come your way as well. Jesus is going to heal homes in this very place today. Sometimes when we go to conferences, the last people we'll meet, the last people we meet are the minister's wives.

And that's whenever we have a conference all over the world, we always make sure the wives are involved. I was preaching at a pastor's conference in Cuba this year and I was encouraging the men to love their wives.

And I was preaching about a passion for the women in our life. And one of the one of the bishops, he's sitting in the front row. He stood up right in the middle of the sermon. His wife was standing in the back.

He said, honey, I'm sorry. Forgive me. He's preaching about me. Somebody next to him stood up, turned around to his wife, said, me too, honey. I'm sorry. Somebody else stood up. Men and women started talking to each other.

I couldn't even preach anymore. Everybody was hugging and weeping and praying because in that country, they're mighty deliverers. They're very strong men, but they neglect their wives. And repentance was in order because of that small snare is there.

It's not only a snare to your household. It's a snare to you. And it has to be changed. And God wants to do that now. He wants to change our lives. He wants to put first love back in our marriages. And what God has done in my life, when I speak to my wife on the phone, when I'm traveling, when I'm home, we have the greatest times together.

My staff meetings are very short now. Because I can't wait to run home and spend time with my wife. And she told me recently, I love the ministry again because I see the change in you. Stand with me if you would, because God wants us to see a change take place here today.

The Invitation to Men, Women, and Families

I'm going to give a very simple invitation. If you're a minister's wife, a woman in ministry, or maybe a daughter and there's a hurt in your soul. You feel neglected, troubled. Maybe you have a wonderful husband, but it's just a trouble that the church, the weight of the church is upon you.

We're husbands in this place. You may not shout across this auditorium. You may not yell at your wife at the back to forgive you. But if you need forgiveness, I want you to take your wife by the hand and lead her here to the altar.

And men, if your wife's not here, but you want to get something right with God, I want you to step out of your seat as well. And turn your heart to Jesus so that the snare would be gone and your wife and your children would see the change.

Amen. Come forward right now if you want that change. I have full confidence here today, that I've opened up God's heart, God's word. And the good news is this, that God never has a message proclaimed unless He accompanies that message with His power.

He's not going to let something be preached and not support it with the power to enforce it. So if He had preached to you, He promises then in power to give you the ability to receive it. And I want you to receive your miracle here today.

First, I want to pray with you, men. Can I? Man, if you want God to change your heart, just lift one hand to Jesus. Let me pray for you. Jesus, change our hearts. We are needy, God. We are ready for a change.

This is our hour. This is a divine moment. You are taking me right now, Jesus, through a new journey. It's beginning today. It won't be finished today. I know it will take time. But, Jesus, You're changing me.

Because I repent and I receive Your promise to be a new man. And I want to take out the snare, the religious pride, the anger, the striving. Take it out, Jesus. Let it be gone. Take out the neglect, the busyness that causes us to neglect our families.

Balance us, Jesus. Where we can live full lives in ministry. But the first part of our life, the first part of our ministry, is to our own family. Give me grace, Jesus. Give me power, Jesus, to accomplish this.

Not by might, not by power, but by Your Spirit. In Jesus' name. Now, wives, I want to pray with you, can I? For young women that have stepped forward, all the women, whether you're married or not. I want to pray a prayer of healing for you.

I want to ask the other women in the church, in the building today. To stretch out your hands towards these women here in the hall. Let's agree together in prayer. Because I know you need a touch from God today.

Some of you aren't sure you can go on another day. You're tired of life the way it is. But God wants to heal that today. And we know that God can give you eagles and eagles, let's pray together. Jesus, we pray now for the women that have come forward.