Foundations for Communication — George Verwer

What a challenging day this has been. Praise the Lord. Let's just pray. Oh Lord our God. We thank you for all that you have done today in Individual lives. We thank you for the privilege of gathering in this way and to feed receive so much information and Challenging material we thank you for this church.

We praise you that you are Going to send out labors from this church. Lord we just commit now this in some ways brief time to you that we may really do your will even in this meeting in Jesus name. Amen.

My great problem is that I always have too many messages on my heart and I find it very difficult at times to know exactly what to share. I'm not one of these persons. That's always 100 sure what the will of God is.

I Even have some doubts whether I should even be in Memphis right now. Because I feel so strongly that I belong back with my wife and my two sons. I Don't think we can comprehend What it is for some people to be separate from their wives.

Sometimes just thinking about it. I almost start crying. I Was taught of course as a little boy that crying was for sissies. So before I was converted I was declaring all all-out war against tears. So ashamed whenever I cried I'd go hide.

And it was a wonderful experience when I came to know Christ I discovered I was allowed to cry in that great Jesus wept Paul wept and I hope that if you feel the need to cry in these days, you know, just just cry.

You want to come in my office and cry. I can assure you if you cry in my office. I will definitely cry. We will have a Niagara now that doesn't mean we live we don't we don't bathe in our tears. We just you know out and away.

I Try to talk to my wife every day on the phone. Because the phone rates are now much cheaper. You can direct dial from Memphis. Isn't that exciting? It's also dangerous. But Well, I took the gamble and I came here and I think and hope that I am in God's place.

And it's the same way about this message. I'm not sure. This is God's message for tonight. But I'm gonna take the gamble. The message has a title because you're also diligent in taking notes, it's too late to go get a pencil now.

Foundations for Communication and Spiritual Service

But I call this message foundations for communication. Now sometimes I've given a similar message called foundations for communication in marriage. But I don't think we have enough married couples tonight to justify that effort.

So I'm just going to talk about basic principles of communication. However, let me say that in marriage communication is absolutely Essential. I once counseled the married couple. They had no communication for six months.

You know except you know pass the butter warm up the coffee. Have you washed my socks, you know real real heavy stuff and There's no communication. The devil is very Clever in getting in as we launch out this summer to Europe.

We must communicate on our teams with one another with the leaders. We have to learn about the to communicate about the things that Really warm our hearts, but we have to learn about to communicate also about some things that may be bothering us.

And I want to just give you some of these basic principles that God because I'm a slow learner. Has been trying to burn into my soul over these many years. You know, we're all in God's University. Some of you feel you don't have enough education.

You're like me. I've got a great desire to go back to school. It's one of many desires. I tend to have to put on the altar because I don't think that's the Lord's plan. But you know, it's wonderful that we can be constantly studying.

Constantly reading constantly learning. All the time. I'm listening to new cassette tapes all the time. I'm reading new books. I Subscribe and read to a couple of dozen periodicals. I receive prayer letters from several hundred missionaries including OEM errs.

Always learning some of one said well, when do you prepare for your sermons? Of course I have to have specific preparation. These notes didn't just jump, you know off a cloud into my my Bible. But I feel in another sense that my whole life everything I'm doing everything I'm living out is preparation for my next message and that next message must be in total line with the way I'm living.

Cannot be separate from what I'm living. Doesn't mean that I'll be living in the exact same par because the message often will represent my goals but I feel this is One of the most important aspects of what we're going into in this work.

Our desire is to put into practice that which we say we believe. I Hope that's one of the reasons you're coming on this summer effort. Those of you who are coming to put into practice what you say and some of you have been saying it and singing it For a long time and if we're going to do that, we've got to learn to communicate.

Relationships, Fellowship, and the Work of the Holy Spirit

We were sharing in the leader session this morning about relationships and I shared with the leaders. They're just leaders in training. It doesn't mean they're ever going to be leaders at least in the next couple years.

But I shared how every relationship will be tested. Some of you are beginning to build Friendships here friendship is the first stage or should I say the second stage of relationship? The first stage is acquaintance.

Some of us were only making an acquaintance, but praise God many an acquaintance I made years ago in God's timing became a friendship a friendship blossoms into a relationship where there can be continued fellowship and prayer and unity to work together in God's Word.

There's a lot of emphasis on this in the New Testament, let me for example just share. One of the verses that again and again has challenged me along this line. In the book of Ephesians the book of Ephesians chapter 4 verse 30 and Grieve not the Holy Spirit of God.

By whom you are sealed under the day of redemption. I Hope I can speak one of these evenings on be filled with the Holy Spirit. It's the message that I Sense I need to speak about more than almost any other message be filled with the Holy Spirit.

That's not some super spiritual experience for a few people who stay up late. Or who fast near unto death to get some extra blessing? That is an extremist ascetic view that will help very few the fullest of the Holy Spirit is basic crucified living.

It's for every Christian some Seem to come into this walk with God because in a sense. It's a walk with God. It's a lifestyle bright crisis others by process many more by crisis and process be filled with the Holy Spirit.

I Believe if you yield your life holy to Christ and experience something of the cross and and the Lordship of Jesus. That you will be a spirit-filled person, but you will have to be filled again, and also there's a danger.

That is a spirit-filled person. You will grieve the Holy Spirit. Some of you may use the terminology the baptism of the Holy Spirit. Whether you use that terminology or the fullness of the Holy Spirit you'll have to agree.

I believe that it is possible to grieve the Holy Spirit. We often do and this is especially true in our relationships. One with another we grieve the Holy Spirit by an unkind word. By a wrong action or reaction and the actions are easier to handle than the reactions.

I Do all right if I have a couple of minutes to think about it. It's the split-second stuff on the telephone that sometimes disarms me. Grieve not the Holy Spirit of God 31 let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking.

Be put away from you with all malice and be kind one to another tender-hearted forgiving one another. Forgiving one another even as God for Christ's sake has Forgiven you. Let me read this in the New International version chapter 5 especially starting at verse 31 it's beautiful.

Forgiveness, Bitterness, and Reconciliation

God has so Spoken to me again and again through these words. I pray that you will let the Word of God speak to your heart. We're not here mainly to hear Man's ideas even man's commentary. We want to hear the Word of the Lord and he uses his word to speak to our hearts and as we listen as we pray that word becomes real and personal and We experience revelation in our hearts of what it says here in print.

Hear the Word of the Lord. Ephesians chapter 4 verse 31. Well, let's read from verse 30. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God With whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness rage anger brawling Slander along with every form of malice.

Be kind and compassionate to one another forgiving each other just as Christ God forgave you. Then it goes on about being imitators of God as dearly loved children. If we go to Europe with this kind of reality We will make an unbelievable impact for God.

You may feel at times that people don't like Americans and there are many around the world who do Misunderstand and others who don't like Americans that will be no problem when this Holy Ghost reality is burning in your life.

I Find no opposition to any great degree. To the Americans who are with OM and Who are by their life? Demonstrating this kind of Holy Spirit reality. Most of our fields and OM will take all the Americans and certainly all the Canadians and Mexicans that they can get.

And especially so if they have some of this Holy Spirit Reality in their lives. It's this kind of reality by God's Spirit that's going to enable us to Build relationships and to learn Some great things about fellowship and communication.

Now Satan will counter-attack this. And he will try to hinder us and he will try to discourage us. And I pray that you'll not be discouraged by any failures in the area of communication. In some ways it's a high art.

We live in a world that has become almost a semantic jungle and it takes Perseverance to learn how to communicate. I've often said that I feel OM is a greater preparation for marriage than it is for missions.

Some mission societies are upset with us because we don't send them enough candidates. Though we're trying very hard. They fail to realize that a high percentage of people that come on OM especially in Europe.

They are not people who have even thought of becoming missionaries. They don't feel that is God's will for their life. And that is their privilege and it is not our job to put a guilt trip on them because they want to go back into secular work and the majority of Europeans come on OM because They they they feel relaxed about it.

And they feel it is a training program for life. Of course many of them do end up going to Bible school and going on into missionary work an amazing number. There are XO embers and almost every nation in the world.

But our first burden. And if any leader disagrees with this is no problem. He's wrong and I'm right. It's simple. You don't have any any problem. He may have that as a personal burden that his biggest personal burden is to get people in the Muslim world.

And of course I can understand it when he expresses that expresses it that way, but overall as a movement in Sensing everything that all the leaders are feeling and praying about we feel our first burden is to see Spiritual revolution in the lives of the people who come with us to see spiritual growth.

To see spiritual health and to see therefore a foundation laid for marriage we are preparing people as much for marriage as for missions and If your marriage isn't on a solid foundation and now before you're married.

It's the time to prepare. People often say well it isn't fair to marry couples born you hear what they said if I have ten kids. They may not even take me. Here's some of the murmuring. But if people would only understand we as a movement have our limitations.

We cannot take everyone and the organizational effort. To handle one family is equal to the organizational effort of ten to twenty single people without any question in This kind of work and any family that comes in OM I hope you see it as a very real privilege if not just don't come.

Because we are looking for people Before they are locked into marriage because in 25 years of experience we have sound so many married couples have just Launched into marriage without getting some of these very basic things sorted out in their lives.

And though in some cases in OM were able to you know Get these things sorted out and and I for one especially Take a lot of married couples into my team that my other leaders are always on me about taking too many married couples.

So don't misunderstand what I'm saying. But I believe that a lot of our marriages would be doing a lot better today. If somehow there was more training and preparation for marriage when I went to Bible College.

There wasn't a single course That taught anything in relation to preparation for marriage that I can remember. I must have forgotten something maybe I repressed it. I don't remember any instruction or training about rearing children.

Though I did take a course in child evangelism. Maybe that was supposed to be the key. In one sense marriage is God's graduate school the single life is the undergraduate program. It's easier less strenuous more free, but when you're married you're locked into a lifelong thesis so to speak and You're in God's graduate program.

I'm so thrilled when I meet so many exo emers often in their own countries. Going on for God with happy marriages that just excites me. In fact, I may be getting on a tangent because in many places I prefer to speak about marriage than missions and One of the reasons is in Europe if you speak about missions.

And it's true in some places in this country the people you want to talk to don't come to the meeting. It's sad. I don't agree with that. It's sad and I'm finding now when I take a weekend of meetings with the church I say don't call it a missions conference call it a spiritual life world outreach conference something.

Because the word missionary and missions is so misunderstood. It's so loaded with funny little connotations. Now we have so many false ideas of what a missionary is. What a challenge. Communication. What are some of the specific things we can learn on OM this summer that will prepare us for marriage or Prepare us for teamwork.

Some of you are going to be single all your life. You've been praying hard the Lord would lead leave you Single. I've met too many of those and you're going to be in the single life, but you're going to be on a team.

You have to learn to relate to people you're going to be in the church. We feel there must be a continued strong emphasis on the local church. And we want you to know how to relate to people in a local church.

I Have a whole message. I won't have time to Give it at this conference. But it gives the reasons why I feel so committed to The historic church. It's called why I remain in the church. Even when at times the church may be lukewarm.

I won't give you that now. It's not time. The first thing I believe we have to learn is We must learn to be more Unselfish. Write it down underlining Selfishness is so unbelievably easy in the next couple of days.

Unselfishness and Considering Others

You're going to be given a memo about manners. Manners is a simple way of being unselfish considering the other person in food in sleep in practical things and If we can go to Europe Just a little bit more unselfish.

Then perhaps some others that we may meet. Then we're going to minister to them. Philippians chapter 2 It teaches that we should esteem others better than ourself. I want to say that I am still Very much in God's school in this area.

Learning to be unselfish without going extreme and becoming an ascetic neglecting my body developing a wrong image about myself and Arriving therefore at the point where I do not have a healthy sane. Respect for myself and my own body that God has given me.

It has to be kept in balance. Like everything else we talked about this week if you heard the orientation tapes. You heard the funny little illustration about the apples at Bible school. And now everybody takes The apple until the bad one is left for the last person all that there may be a revolution of unselfishness in in in every practical Aspect of our life.

It's more blessed to give than receive. You'll never understand om until you understand that in all that we do. We want to esteem our brothers and sisters in poorer countries. You're gonna wonder why we're driving at times old vehicles.

Why is George for we're driving around in a seven-year-old Renault that's worth about $100. The reasons is Because I want to esteem my brothers and sisters in India. And I want to channel any money for vehicles all that I can pray in out to them.

I want to think of think about them now I still need some transport so that I can carry out this vision to serve them and In Europe it seems best for me to use this little old Renault and then after a few years ago for all of our International travel and so that we could live together.

My wife and I prayed and trusted God for a five-year-old much better than a rather large van. That's converted into a little tiny house. Some of you will see it and that has enabled us to survive some of the so-called pressure of the middle years.

I Believe that in the whole area of expenditure for transportation and And everything else along that line we find one of the most difficult areas to find balance. In fact I'm just writing a new tract on the simple lifestyle.

World Evangelism and the Use of Money

Let me share something almost for the first time in this form. So help some of you old-timers you like to hear something new. Jonathan McCross he's very worried about this memo. He's arch conservative on spending Peter Maiden our leader in Britain.

Boy this memo ministered to him. He wants it published everywhere in magazines across he gets me. Hey, have you sent that out to any other people? So I have to get together with Jonathan to see what's wrong with this memo.

Anyway, I'll share with a little about it. I Have come to see that if we are going to give ourself to World evangelism four million people for a billion people four thousand million. We say in England if we're gonna really do the job.

We cannot live the kind of simple lifestyle that some people talk about. For example, I don't know everything about the book rich Christians in a hungry world. I just know that with that general line of thinking I am NOT actually totally in agreement.

And I believe a lot of the thinking in that area. I'm not saying necessarily that book but in that area Number one there is not enough emphasis on world evangelism. Reaching the world for Christ. There seems to be more emphasis on Social change and giving everybody a bowl of rice and a lot of other things that are somewhat Unrealistic if we really look where Russia is and what Russia's planning to do and a lot of other things around this crazy planet.

And I feel a lot of the emphasis on on the social side of things and I lean that way myself. Don't misunderstand me and I'm very concerned about the lack of reality in that area, but I feel it quickly becomes a tangent.

And we lose the priority of spiritual revival and world evangelism. The reason we like to practice a simple lifestyle as much as possible. We don't like to spend too much money on ourselves. The reason we mainly use second-hand clothing and a lot of other second-hand things, by the way.

There's some things you can't use second-hand. You write me. I'll let you know what they are Is to release more money for Bibles to release more money to get the gospel to the ends of the earth that has always been the heartbeat of The movement and if some men are going to be raised up by God to really support God's work around the world.

I don't think they're going to be able to have the kind of minimum salary that some people suggest if we're going to live a simple lifestyle and Even with inner work like this We're gonna have to spend money.

Some people have criticized the ship because it was out of line with her simple lifestyle. Actually this ship is relatively simple lifestyle. Had very old ships very small cabins. But of course it does in total 300 people cost a bit of money nothing like 300 people living in this country.

Probably maybe one-third what it would cost to live in this country. But if we're going to evangelize the world, we're gonna have to learn how to spend money for some of you. That's hard. For instance I could have a much more simple lifestyle if I could give several hours every week to start a vegetable garden some of the books.

Suggest that but you see time is money. If I start giving myself to a vegetable garden is many other things I could do around the house to save money. Endless things I could be puttering around my little tiny house in London.

Which I have rent-free and answer to prayer a long time. But then I wouldn't answer those letters we wouldn't get that next 10 million pieces of literature off the press. The 30 or 40 film projects were into wouldn't come to pass and an awful lot of other things We've been doing for 20 some years.

It just wouldn't be and I wouldn't be here because I couldn't be away from my vegetable garden that long. And I had to fly here in many ways. I'd love to come here by water bicycle or canoe. But it would be a long journey so I had to spend $300 To get here and I could say in my mind $300 could boy buy so many soybeans for this man in living in Somalia who is starving this kind of thinking is utterly ridiculous.

Because unless God raises up some men of integrity. Unless God performs a spiritual revolution in the very fiber of our being most of the money that goes out to these countries is wasted because they don't have men of integrity and Ethic and discipline who can organize and manage and make sure the food that's given gets out to the stomachs that need it.

We need men in the world today unselfish men crucified men and Those men will have to know how to spend money as well as how to save money. The battle will be perpetual all their lives and We'll have to reframe from judging others in a complicated world.

So lifestyle is important in OM. We want to be unselfish. We want to be radical. But at the same time we want to evangelize the world and that means we're gonna have to have some office machinery. I used to force my secretaries to work on the most weird outdated Office equipment you can ever imagine.

It's a miracle. Some of them weren't killed by flying keys that came loose. Now to this day, we don't believe in OM. We should just flippantly buy the most expensive office equipment. We pray we try to find it at a lower price.

We try to look for good secondhand things not junk and. So there's a lot we can do to remain simple to stay in union with our brothers and sisters in poor countries. Why is it that so many young people in poor countries have so linked with us?

Why do we have 400 workers in India just willing to do almost anything there for the sake of the gospel? Because they know our manner of life and they know The way we live. Even though there are always problems when there is an amalgamation of people from such very very different cultural backgrounds.

Patience and the Crucified Temper

Number two in this building foundations for communication in a long way to go. David Hicks will David Hicks will appear in the door sooner or later learning to be patient. This is so important. How many of you like me Have had some really serious difficulties with your temper.

I'm not talking about a little irritability and you're getting a little upset and saying oh, I mind would you mind not doing that? I'm talking about People that you know you really do you know? Raise your hand any of you in that category.

This seems to be a national disease. And I want to tell you your time on operation mobilization is going to give you a glorious opportunity for you to see that temper crucified and crucified and crucified and not only your temper.

But God wants to go right down into the disposition right down into your very attitude and teach you the way of Patience. The New Testament talks more about patience than it does about Evangelism. I won't take the time to give some of my favorite illustrations, but there is No area well in one or two other areas, but perhaps Patience it's hard to know what is your greatest problem isn't you know when you got quite a few?

But I think at the core of so many of my problems. Has been this this difficulty. In in terms of being patient and as Americans we are often in a hurry. We are a in the hurry culture. And we are very offensive.

We are often very offensive to people in other nations. You must understand that. Here's a dear brother who's trying to change a tire. He's not doing it as fast as you would so what? You feel he's turning the wrong way and So you push him aside and say look I've had training this.

Americans are quick to tell you about their training. The guy changed one tire as a small boy with his dad's help. I've had training in this let me show you. So if it's an Englishman especially he and they're generally a little more patient.

He steps aside and say oh well. Thank you very much. He happens to know that that particular bolt only turns that way because in some nations its reverse and He just sits there and watches you sweating for every inch of sanctification you've ever held.

Turning it tighter and tighter and tighter and tighter. One event like that can ruin your whole day. It's like someone said to me some time ago one midair crash is enough to spoil your entire day. It's true.

You don't need that to happen to have your days ruined in one sense in operation mobilization patience. You meditate on that word in your Bible, and you will see just what I'm talking about. The fruit of the Spirit is love joy peace long suffering gentleness goodness faithfulness meekness temperance.

Self control against such there is no law and I made a study of all the fruit of the Spirit. The first OM conference of this type took place in 1960 the month of June the Mexico border. Every night we talked on the same subject fruit of the Spirit that was the Basic thrust of this movement from its very earliest days, and I don't know where we'd be if it wasn't for that patience.

So many of the problems in my home Have been a result of my impatience with my wife. I have had to repent Again and again and claim his precious blood over my words my lack of patience. Sitting in the car.

I gave her 20 minutes notice. I don't know where in the world. She is we've got to get to this meeting. And I remember once I decided I wasn't gonna say anything. I've already blown it 58 times. I was just gonna be quiet no matter when she came to the car.

We're gonna say anything. Gonna be patient. She finally got to the car. I didn't say anything. One look I could burn her through the door. There is a real sense in which. If you don't have control over Patience if you don't have control of your temper you are almost disqualified to be married.

And there was a great general in Britain that said until you have mastered the art of warfare. You should not even consider being married. I Wouldn't go that extreme if there's any area where women are often naive.

It's about what lurks down in the inner furnace of this good-looking lad that they're about to marry. I've had to counsel women beaten across their faces by men who were as gentle as angels before the wedding and who became as ferocious as lions afterward.

We can be very naive about life. Very naive about what happens one year after the wedding. Praise God there are many many cases where that doesn't happen. But we need if we're going to be effective communicators if we're gonna have reality in our marriages on our teams and in our churches there must be the crucified life and there must be the development of patience and Spiritual reality in that area.

Acceptance and Forgiveness in Relationships

Thirdly we must learn how to accept one another. There's too much of this Manipulation mentality in which we say to our wife or to our friend if you become more like me, then I will accept you. And we form mutual admiration societies and Us we as husbands, and I failed in this area.

We're always trying to change our wives. We need to accept one another as we are. We can have our prayer. We can have our aspiration we all of course want. To grow in Christ and to be more spiritual. I think the key word in this is the word we read in Ephesians 4 forgiveness forgiving one another.

Forgiving each other just as Christ God forgave you. I Want to ask you? Is there anyone? Anywhere that you've not forgiven. I'm not saying you don't have some memory difficulties. We can't plot everything out of our memory.

But as far as you know by faith you have forgiven everyone. I Remember speaking in a morality section Europe a morality session. And a question came up at the question-and-answer time the girl said my father has raped me many many times.

Can I ever forgive him? Yes, there is nothing that we cannot forgive as his child because God through Christ has forgiven us of every ugly wickedness every defilement that man could ever imagine and every any.

Finger we point at one man. There are three fingers that point back at us. That doesn't mean it will be easy. That doesn't mean there will not be emotional scars. I am an emotionally scarred person my wife is and we'll have to learn to claim God's grace on a day-by-day basis and and Just like the ship we can't get the ship from London to New York in One day nor in three days nor in five days, but we can get the ship at least pointed in the right direction.

At this conference We cannot give you the total answer and cure to emotional hurts to struggles to awesome things that have happened to you. That can't happen in one week but you can get your ship your vessel of God pointed in the right direction this week and Know therefore that when you leave here, you're taking a stand against all bitterness against all resentment and against any unforgiving spirit or unforgiving disposition when a revolution could take place in the church and in our homes if this became one of our main goals and by God's power we put it into practice.

Bending, Breaking, and Humbling Ourselves

Fourthly I believe we must learn to bend and to break. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that book Calvary Road. If there's any book I would recommend you get it's Calvary Road by Roy Hessian. It's not the total answer just a small part of it but a small key can open a big door and If you learn something of that key of a cross.

Something of knowing how to say I'm sorry Lord Forgive me or to our friend or our team member our team leader Forgive me it will open the door to blessing. First Peter chapter 5 says that we should submit to the mighty hand of God.

We need to know how to humble ourselves with one another. To be honest with one another and to learn how to break and to bend. Don't feel you have to run around Europe defending the United States if something is said wrong about your country and You feel it.

That's an opportunity to demonstrate the love of Christ. Whenever I go to the to a country one of the first things I do Is in my mind make a list of the positive things in that country. I've never been in a country where I couldn't find something positive.

And I talked about that Herbert came the great missiologist and missionary teacher at Trinity College seminary. In his new book on the missionary life says that when we launch out overseas We need to in some ways forget our own country.

That's right as You launch out even for short-term work to some degree. We need to forget our own country. Stop always talking about your country how lovely it is in Western Canada. How much cooler it is how wider how much wider the streets are how much cleaner the toilets are.

Forget all this kind of thing and Start to re-enter or enter that new culture. Appreciating it trying to understand it and then learning to bend and break when you do say something that's wrong. Or that's offensive and so often these people who even at this very moment are receiving some of these same messages.

They will be wanting to go the extra mile to love us and to forgive us and we don't have to be uptight as Americans. That the French or the Germans are trying to pounce on us. In fact probably some of you in an amazing unpredictable way.

Within the next couple of years will be married to a German or a Frenchman or a Swede. How that happens with this social policy is a miracle that is without explanation. Most of all happen after the first year anyway.

Birds fly where they will you know not the flutter thereof and then very quickly we have to learn to love. You're supposed to be meditating regularly on 1st Corinthians chapter 13. Memorizing those great verses about love.

Love as a Practice of Christian Communication

It's true the fruit of the Spirit is love, but also we must learn the way of love. That's why we have endless verses about love. It's not some little automatic thing. You just get the right cliches and make the right Verbalization in terms of sentence structure and from then on you just go along in the spirit-filled life.

Jesus said if any man Come after me let him deny himself daily and follow me no matter how loving I am on any one day I know I need more love. One of my goals is to love my wife more and I I already love her so much sometimes I can hardly think straight.