The Three Baptisms That Jesus Spoke Of — Zac Poonen

The Three Baptisms and the Call to Discipleship

I want to speak today about three baptisms that the Lord Jesus spoke about. The first of these is what is mentioned in Matthew's gospel, chapter 28, where before he was ascended up to heaven, before he ascended he said, these are the last words, and you can expect that someone who is just about to leave would say something very, very important in his last few words.

And his burden was, verse 19, he told his apostles to go everywhere and make disciples in every nation and baptize them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and teach them to do all that I commanded you.

So, as far as Jesus was concerned, if you see the order there, he said, you've got to make disciples and then baptize them. In other words, right at the beginning, you have to tell them what it means to be a disciple of Jesus.

A disciple is a learner and a follower. So, if a man doesn't want to learn from Jesus and follow him, don't baptize him. Far too many people have been baptized who have absolutely no desire to learn from Jesus or to follow him.

They live for themselves and for money and the world before they were converted, and they live for themselves and for money and the world after they are converted, except they've got a little bit of religious whitewash now.

Now, Jesus is not interested in such people. In fact, they are a hindrance to his kingdom. What Jesus said was, go into every part of every nation and make disciples. And that's the basis on which we started this church more than 29 years ago to make clear to people what discipleship meant, which was not preached much, even today it's not preached much.

But through the years, what has happened is that any work of God gets diluted through the years. A person wants to be a disciple and comes to the church. And, of course, his wife comes along. His wife may have no interest in being a disciple.

And then his children come along. The children grow up. They may have no interest in being disciples. And then the person's brother comes along and sister comes along and relatives come along, and they're all welcome.

Most of them may have no interest in being disciples. So, you see what happens to a church over a period of 20 -25 years is it may have started out with a real desire to make disciples. And the people who started out may have been disciples.

But over a period of time, every single church in the world gets diluted. And that's the state of affairs in every single denomination and every single church under the sun except something that's starting newly.

Give it 25 years and it'll be just like everything else. But Jesus said that you should never baptize anyone who's not a disciple, who's not serious about discipleship. And through the years, you know, we can make mistakes.

I know I've baptized people who later on I discovered they were not disciples at all. But at least I have a clear conscience that I made the claims of discipleship clear to people. I mean, if they fooled me, that's fine.

They can't fool God. I always say I'm like a person at one of these security checkposts, and by mistake I may lift the bar and let the vehicle through. But there's another security checkpost further up the line which God mans, and you'll never get through that even if you fool the first security checkpost.

So it's very important to remember how important Jesus, the stress that Jesus placed on those who are disciples must be baptized. And you remember in Matthew's Gospel, Chapter 3, that John the Baptist, whose baptism was not the same as Christian baptism.

In fact, those who took John's baptism had to take Christian baptism again. We read that in Acts 19. John's baptism was not a baptism of belief in the Lord Jesus Christ. It was only a baptism of repentance.

It was half. The baptism Jesus commanded was the full thing, repentance plus faith. But John the Baptist didn't say to people, do you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ? No. Today when we baptize people, we ask that second question.

That's what completes it in Christian baptism. But John the Baptist prepared the way for Christian baptism by bringing his baptism, which was half of Christian baptism, which is a baptism of repentance.

And in Matthew, Chapter 3, we read that John was baptizing people there. And when a lot of Pharisees and Sadducees, verse 7, Matthew 3, 7, showed up to be baptized, and he said to them, you brood of snakes.

It's really lovely to read it in the Message Bible. What are you trying to do slithering down here to the river? Snakes slithering down into the river. Do you think a little water on your snake skins is going to make any difference to you?

No. And don't think you can pull rank by claiming Abraham is a father. A little water on a snake skin doesn't change it. And that's what John the Baptist was telling these people. You think a little water on your snake skins is going to change you?

No, it won't. It's got to be a radical change of heart. He says, bring forth fruits that are in keeping with repentance, verse 8. And don't say that so-and-so was my earthly father, so-and-so is my spiritual father.

There are a lot of people who glory in being connected with CFC. It counts absolutely zero with God. These are like people who say, Abraham is our father. We are connected with brother so-and-so. It counts for zero with God.

Because God sees each person's heart. And your connection with Abraham or with the greatest man of God alive makes no difference to God. You've got to have a connection with Jesus yourself. That's what John the Baptist said.

He says, what counts is your life. And if you don't repent, it's no use. I'm baptizing you here in the river for turning from your old life, verse 11, for a kingdom life. So baptism is a turning. And that's what's, you know, it's a change of mind.

It's like the Indian translations have it. It's a turning around of your mind. That's what baptism is. Repentance is that. I've finished with my old life. So baptism is actually a testimony about the past and a confession that I want to live different in the future.

Water Baptism as Death to the Old Life

See, Romans chapter 6. It's very important for us to understand because many Christians, for them, baptism is a ritual. And I think there are a lot of people baptized in CFC who haven't really changed much in their life, even after baptism.

Whereas actually, you know, the difference between before baptism and after baptism should be the difference between being dead and alive. The Bible says we were dead in our sins. And he's made alive in Christ.

A new birth, a real new birth is something that makes a person as different from his old way of life as a living person is different from a dead person. You see, a dead person just gets worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse over the period of time.

First, he begins to stink. And the stink gets worse and worse. And then the body begins to crumble. And it becomes dust. And finally, even the bones become dust. And everything disappears. Whereas a newborn baby who's got life is quite the opposite.

It's going the other direction. Every day, every month, every year, things are getting better and better and better to spiritual growth and greater maturity and everything. So this should be the difference between being born again and before one is born again.

And baptism is a testimony that I've come to that place where I've finished with the past. I'm starting anew. So it says in Romans chapter 6 in verse 4, Therefore, we've been buried with him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life.

So, you know, there's a lot of difference between death and resurrection. And in baptism, when you're being put into the water, you're testifying to the old life being buried. And when you come out of the water, you're testifying, I'm a brand new person, just like Jesus came out of the grave.

It's a break with the old life and a completely new beginning. And, you know, we have often said baptism is a symbol. It's a symbol. Yeah, in one sense it is. But the interesting thing is, nowhere in the Bible does it say baptism is a symbol.

You can search and search and search the New Testament. It doesn't talk about that. And they took baptism as not just a symbol, but something real. It was a very real event where a person was finishing with his old life and starting with a new life.

That's why in the early days, people got baptized as soon as they were converted. You remember the story of the Philippian jailer? He got converted at midnight in the jail when Paul was there in jail and there was an earthquake and he got converted.

And his family got converted. He took Paul home and Silas home and they preached the gospel there in the middle of the night, 2 o 'clock in the morning. They're listening to the gospel. He woke them all up and they heard the gospel and by 6 o 'clock in the morning they were all baptized.

Think of that. That is pretty quick. They didn't even wait to gather the church. I mean, today we feel that the church must come. Not necessarily. You can baptize a person all alone in his room, in his house.

And they did it immediately because it was a testimony. Have you really finished with your old life? Why do we have to delay so much today because we have such a lot of wishy-washy Christianity where you don't know the difference between those who are really born again and disciples of Jesus and those who are just coming along for the fun of it or because their parents were in it or some relative is in it or something like that.

It's like these roads where you have a yellow line, clear yellow line. And sometimes they have these partitions between the two lanes and that's to show traffic going this way is this side and traffic going this way is this side.

But over a period of time, those yellow lines get worn out and erased and you can't see the difference anymore. And that's somewhat of the state of Christianity today. In the olden days, the line was very clear.

Those are going towards the devil go that way. Those are going towards God go this way. And there's a very clear demarcation. In fact, Abraham said there's such a great divide between the two that you can't even cross from here to the other once you've decided finally.

But over the period of time, the devil succeeded in erasing that line. I'll tell you in every single denomination I've gone to, every church I've gone to, including ours, it's very difficult sometimes to say who is born again and who is not.

The lines have been so erased that everybody uses the same words. But today you have people who claim they are born again who won't talk to somebody. I can't understand that. Or who got a grudge in their heart or take somebody to court.

They all claim they are born again. This is ridiculous. These are all children of the devil. 100%. I mean, how can you be a child of God and have a grudge against somebody? I can't believe that. You got to be a child of the devil to do that.

God doesn't have a grudge against anyone. Devil's got lots of that in his heart. Because there's never been a radical repentance. And I want to say that to many of you sitting here. Maybe there was a time, 20 years ago, when you were saved.

Perseverance, Apostasy, and the Need for Repentance

And probably today you're lost. Because a lot of people think that once you're saved, you can never be lost. I don't believe that. In fact, the Bible says in Revelation chapter 3, that there's a possibility that our name can be erased from the book of life.

Jesus himself said that. You read that. I mean, was the Lord just trying to threaten people? So, how does that happen? How does a person's name get erased from the book of life? I'll just mention that verse to you in case you don't know where it is.

It's in Revelation chapter 3, verse 5. If you overcome, I will not erase your name from the book of life. Now, that's not an empty threat. Now, the devil says, oh, no, no, no, no, no. That will never happen.

That's exactly what he told Eve. When God said to Adam and Eve that if you eat of that tree, you'll surely die. Satan said, oh, no, no, no, no, no. Don't you believe that. That is the first lie recorded in the Bible.

Oh, don't believe what God says. That's not so serious. It's exactly the same thing he says today. Jesus says, if you overcome, Revelation 3, verse 5, I will not erase his name from the book of life. Otherwise, your name will be erased.

And the devil says, oh, no, no, no, no. Don't you believe all that. God is a God of love. And do you know the number of so-called Christians who believe that their name will never be erased from the book of life?

They just couldn't care less. It's amazing. I'm really surprised at the number of people who just don't believe scripture. Jesus said, heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.

They will not. So that's why I say, maybe you were converted genuinely 20 years ago. Probably you're lost today because you've gone back to the world and you started getting grudges in your heart. And you don't forgive somebody.

And you've got a bitterness against somebody in the church. And you won't talk to someone. You won't visit someone. Boy, I don't believe you're saved today. You're lost. Completely lost. And I would say to you who were converted 20 years ago, repent.

Repent today. A little water on your snake skins is not going to change you. God looks at the heart. And the Bible says, if you endure unto the end, you'll be saved. That's the gospel preached throughout the New Testament.

And we're not ashamed to preach it. So, why do things happen like this? Why do people fall away like this? Why do we need verses like, for example, Hebrews chapter 6. Let me read this. Hebrews chapter 6.

Here it speaks in verse 4 about people who've been enlightened. Who've tasted the heavenly gift. The heavenly gift is forgiveness. Who've been made partakers of the Holy Spirit. That means they are baptized in the Holy Spirit.

Real, fine Christians. And tasted the good word of God. Verse 5. And tasted the supernatural powers of the future age. That means they've experienced some miracles from God in their life. And then, after all this, verse 6, they fall away.

Now, some people believe it's impossible to fall away. Well, I suppose if you don't believe the Bible, you can't believe anything. I believe the Bible. That's the only difference between me and them. And it's impossible.

Because, when they fall away like that. And go right back to the world which crucified Christ. And start loving a world which crucified Christ. They themselves, verse 6, last part, are crucifying Christ again.

Because, it says it's impossible to renew them again to repentance. You know, some people can go so far. That it's impossible to renew them to repentance. But, before you get that far, it's possible to repent again.

And say, Lord, I'm not what I was 20 years ago. I had a sensitive conscience 20 years ago. Or 5 years ago. Or 2 years ago. But I seem to have slipped up. I've just allowed the spirit of the world to come right into me.

And repentance is no longer part of my life. Do you know the greatest need in Christian preaching today is the message of repentance? The greatest need for Christians is repentance. Turning from sin. The last messages that Jesus preached to 7 churches.

To 5 of them that had sin in their life. He said, repent. Revelation chapter 2 and chapter 3. Repent, repent, repent, repent. And I'll never get tired of preaching it. Sometimes I feel in many places I go, I'm a lone voice.

Preaching against sin. Preaching against worldliness. Preaching against the love of money. Preaching against bitterness. Preaching against, you know, anger. And sexual lust. And telling lies. And hardly anybody preaches on these things today.

But I'm going to continue. Till the Lord comes. Preaching the same old things which are found in the Bible. Because then nobody's blood will be on my hands. I can't save everybody. But if they get lost at the judgment seat of Christ.

They will not turn around to me and say, Brother Zach, you never told me the truth. I'll say, I certainly did. You heard it. You had no interest in obeying it. That's another thing. But you heard it from me, alright.

And you heard it many, many times. I want to say, sin is a terrible thing. I want to ask you, how many of you believe that getting angry is worse than getting AIDS? I think there's probably less than 1 of believers who believe that getting angry is worse than getting AIDS.

I'll tell you why it's worse. I know people who have AIDS and who got converted and are born again. And who are going to heaven. Their AIDS is not cured. I mean, they got it in their unconverted days and they were born again.

After that, they repented of their sin. But they die of AIDS and go to heaven. But I tell you, Jesus said in Matthew 5, verse 22 onwards, that if a man loses his temper and he doesn't get a control of his temper, he can go to hell.

You read that. It's in Matthew 5, verse 22. If a man has got angry with his brother and he says to his brother, you fool or you empty head, you're in danger of hell fire. No person with AIDS can go to hell because of AIDS.

But a person with anger can go to hell according to the words of Jesus. That's another word that's not preached much today. I remember a middle-aged man coming up to me and saying to me, Brother Zach, he's been a believer for years.

He said, I never knew till I came and heard you that getting angry was a sin. How in the world? Which church was he? Was he going to a mosque or a temple or something? How in the world could he sit in a Christian church all his life and never hear that which is written in Matthew 5?

I mean, even if you go to the New Testament and you read a chapter on a day, on the fifth day you'll reach it. You don't have to be a believer for a long time to know that anger is a sin. But people just don't think about it.

Now, how do you know that AIDS is such a terrible disease? You know how I know it? Because it's all in the papers. It's in the magazines. There's so much publicity given to it. They put posters up about AIDS and AIDS and AIDS.

Otherwise, I wouldn't have known it and you wouldn't have known it either. But we don't have so many posters and articles and magazines on anger. If we did, we'd be a little more careful. To repent of everything.

I mean, if you're serious about repentance, if you're serious about following Jesus and being a disciple, I would say to you, take some time to read through Matthew 5, 6 and 7 and say, Lord, my baptism in water testifies that I've finished with my old life, the sins described in these chapters, and I'm going to live a new life the way it's described in these chapters.

I mean, that's a beginning. I would recommend it to you. I've done it myself. I would never preach what I have not done myself. And I want to say to you, if you want to really stand on your water baptism as the first baptism Jesus said you must take, then take this seriously.

The Baptism of the Holy Spirit for Present Empowerment

Now, I want to go to the second baptism. And that is in Acts chapter 1. Jesus spoke about his second baptism in Acts chapter 1 verse 5, which is also essential. The first one deals with our past. It's a testimony to the past.

I've finished with the past way of life, living for myself, living for the world, and spending all my time with my worldly friends. My friends are now God's people. That's a mark of a man who's baptized.

He's finished with his old life and the Bible says Noah's flood was a picture of baptism in 1 Peter 3. When Noah came out of that flood, do you know all his old friends had gone? It was new friends. And it was his family to begin with.

And I believe that that's what happens in baptism. When we come out of the... It's a flood when you get into baptism. You come out, your old friends are gone. Mine were gone. I got new friends. I got a new family.

I hope you have. Acts chapter 1 in verse 5, Jesus said, Not many days from now you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit. See, baptism, the word baptism just means immersion. You can be immersed by being...

There are two ways to get immersed. One is to be dipped under water and the other is to stand under a waterfall. If you stand under a mighty waterfall, you just get as drenched as if you're dipped in water.

That's the other way to get immersed. So what Jesus meant was, you're going to be immersed with the Holy Spirit. And Jesus pictured that in John chapter 7 like a river. The Holy Spirit's pictured in the Bible like a river.

Like a river of water, even in the Old Testament. You know, when the rock was smitten, the waters began to flow like a river. It was a river that flowed from the rock because there were 2 million people waiting to drink.

It wasn't just a little trickle. I believe there were many rivers that flowed out of that rock that Moses smote. And it is a picture of Christ being smitten and the Holy Spirit being... flowing out from Christ.

And even in Revelation chapter 22, we read about this river flowing from the throne of God. A picture of the Holy Spirit. So, think of this, how high heaven is and from the throne of God a river flowing down to earth.

What a mighty waterfall that is. Boy, I'd like to get underneath that and be immersed, drenched, baptized, and live there all my life. Because it's always flowing. You don't have to pray, Lord, send the river.

Oh, it's already started flowing from the day of Pentecost onwards. It's been flowing. Flowing from heaven to the earth. The mighty power of the Holy Spirit. And, you know, there was such an important work that Jesus wanted his apostles to do.

Because the whole world, 95 of the world hadn't heard that Christ died for their sins. Christ rose from the dead to the two most amazing facts in human history. Christ died for the sins of the world and Christ rose from the dead.

Nobody's ever done these two things in any religion in anywhere in the world. I always say Christianity does not teach be good and all that type of stuff. That's a superstructure. Christianity rests on two foundations which are unique and make it different from all the other religions in the world that Christ died for the sins of the world, Christ rose up from the dead.

But 95 of the world didn't know it. And Jesus commissioned 11 people and said, you fellas have got to go and preach to the whole world this wonderful truth and tell them to turn from their sin and receive the Holy Spirit.

And with this very important message where people were dying every day to receive, Jesus then tells his disciples, but don't go yet. Because if you go in your present condition, even though you're very sincere, even though you've given up your jobs, and I know you're very wholehearted, you will never succeed.

You will be an absolute failure because you can't do this job in your own strength. You need to be immersed with the Holy Spirit's power. Otherwise you'll get tired. One of the best illustrations today of the Holy Spirit's power is electricity.

Imagine if I had to keep turning this fan with my hand. Boy, I'd get tired. You can do it for a little while, but you get tired. You give up. Then you try the other hand. Then both hands get tired. Then what do you do?

This is a picture of living, trying to live the Christian life without the power of the Holy Spirit. Trying to serve God without the power of the Holy Spirit. Yeah, you can try it. Try turning this fan.

Let's see how long you can go. That's about how long you can go in your Christian life. But once the electricity comes, you don't have to turn it. It just flows in and you can have it running 24 hours, 2 days, 3 days, 4 days.

It just goes on and on and on. What a difference that is to be baptized and immersed in the Holy Spirit. It makes such a tremendous difference in your life. And I'm absolutely convinced, absolutely, that just like most Christians haven't understood repentance, most Christians have not had a genuine, mighty experience of the fullness and the baptism in the Holy Spirit.

Because their life wouldn't be like this. It's impossible. Now what do you say if in your house the 100 watt bulb suddenly becomes like a 0 watt bulb. Have you seen that sometimes? In Bangalore, such miracles happen.

How does that happen? Nothing wrong with the bulb. You say, I mean, even a dumb school student will say, well, the voltage has gone down. It's not 220 volts right now. That's it. And when I see some Christians who, when they look at their lives and they're supposed to be 10 ,000 watts and they're like a 0 watt bulb coming along to the meeting, most of them grumpy and sour and can't get along with somebody and no desire to witness for Christ, just to live for the world, I'd say something is wrong.

This light is on its way out. In a little while it'll really be 0. Well, it's not meant to be like that. Think of the 220 volts of power coming in and the light burning all the time. It's amazing. And that's how our Christian life should be.

I know my Christian life was not like that when I first got converted. For 16 years of my life, my life was up and down. Like you read in physics about the sine wave, you know, up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down forever.

That's the experience of lots of Christians. That was my experience too. Till I understood what it is to be filled with the Holy Spirit, not just once, but all the time. And I said, Lord, I never want to be in a bad mood any time of the day or night.

365 days of the year. I always want to be a happy person. Because God is my Father. The Spirit is my Helper. Jesus is my Savior. My past sins are all blotted out. It's never going to be mentioned again.

Satan's been defeated on the cross and he's crushed under my feet. And everything that happens in the world is working for my good. Why shouldn't I be happy? Why should I be miserable? I can't think of a single reason.

I mean, you can give 10 ,000 reasons. I can't even think of a single one that should make me miserable. Everything just makes me happy. But that could only be true. I mean, you can hear these things and it won't change you till the Holy Spirit makes it reality.

You know, I can explain all the theory of electricity on a blackboard here and give you a thick book on electricity and you still may not have electricity in your house. You can understand all that. You can explain it.

You can be a teacher in electricity and not have electricity in your house. That's the condition of a lot of Christians. They understand so much. And particularly you come to a church like this where there's so much teaching.

Boy, your head can become big and big and big like these small children with big heads. It's actually hydrocephalus. There's a lot of water. That's all. They don't live long. And that's how a lot of Christians are.

So much knowledge. The body this size and the head so big. That's not God's will. We don't need more knowledge. I believe we've got plenty of it already. What we need is power. The mighty power of the Holy Spirit.

So Jesus told these apostles, don't even try to go out and do what I'm telling you to do. Wait. Wait till you're filled with the Holy Spirit and I tell you, you won't be the same again. Peter, you won't be scared of servant women after that.

You'll be standing up before high priests not afraid to tell them the truth. And you won't be any more quarreling as to who's the greatest. Once you're filled with the Holy Spirit you'll want to be a servant of everybody.

That's it. And you won't be defeated by all these wretched things in your inner life. You'll be an overcomer. You'll be able to live the life I described in Matthew 5, 6 and 7. If you're filled with the Holy Spirit.

And I believe that's the greatest need. And I'm not surprised that because it is the greatest need the devil has made sure that this is an area where you have maximum confusion today. First of all, you have all these wild extremes of people who think that being filled with the Holy Spirit is falling down or barking or laughing or getting a tickle down your spine or all types of things, you know.

Or shivering or bouncing on your knees or praise and worship. You know, when we say when we have a wonderful time of praise and worship we say, boy, that's the Holy Spirit. I wish it were. I'd like to see how it is this afternoon in your relationships with other people and tomorrow and the next day.

Then we'll know it was the Holy Spirit or just emotion. There's tremendous amount of deception today. Don't be fooled by all this emotion. If it is really the Holy Spirit, it's lasting. If it's emotion, it's temporary.

It's not a permanent cure. It's like, you know, I often think that a lot of people who go to church and have a wonderful time for two hours are exactly like the man who goes to a drinking bar because he's got so many problems and so many sorrows.

He sits there with his friends and drinks for two hours and how do you think he feels? He feels on top of the world. He doesn't have a problem in the world. You see him walking outside the bar after he's drunk.

You'd think he's the happiest man in the world. It's true. I was in a charismatic meeting about 30 years ago in Bombay and I'll never get tired of telling this story. They made me sit on the platform.

I don't usually like that. But anyway, you have some advantages. You see people from there. And I saw everybody. We were standing up and praising the Lord and there was one man to my left who was just clapping and smiling better than anybody else.

I said, boy, that's a spiritual man. I didn't have much discernment those days. And I said, I must meet this fellow after the meeting. He was an elderly man. And I went near him. Within five feet, I could smell the alcohol.

He was happy, all right. He wasn't even converted. But boy, nobody was more Pentecostal that day or more charismatic than that man. That's why it says, don't be drunk with wine but be filled with the Holy Spirit.

In other words, get the right spirit inside you, not the wrong one. That's what it means there. Because, you know, that's why in the, you know, it says in Acts chapter 2, when they were filled with the Holy Spirit, people said, hey, these fellows are drunk with new wine.

You can imitate that. You know, if it's only clapping, raising hands, looking happy, whiskey will do it. I'll tell you. I haven't tried it but I know it will do it. I've seen other people who have tried it.

But if it is, in addition to that, if you want to be patient with your wife and your husband and be a very joyous Christian who is eager to witness for Christ, whiskey won't do that. For that you need the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit will also make you praise and worship and not just for 2 hours. That's the difference. Whiskey makes you do it only for a little while. The Holy Spirit will make you happy 24 hours a day.

Like this new phrase now we have, 24 -7. Great. I like that phrase. 24 -7. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Rejoice in the Lord. I mean, if Paul were writing in today's language, he would say, Philippians 4 -4, rejoice in the Lord 24 -7.

That's exactly what it means. That's the way. In everything, give thanks. Give thanks 24 -7. That's not possible without the Holy Spirit. You can do it for a little while. Like I said, you can turn the fan for a little while with your hands.

That's why Jesus said, you must be filled with the Holy Spirit. That's why the Apostle Paul, you know, once when he went to Ephesus, Acts chapter 19, you read there, that he went to some people who claimed to be disciples of Jesus Christ.

And I think he went to one of their meetings. There were 12 people in that church and he sat around in the meeting. It was boring, like most Christian meetings are. And heavy. And the prayers were all sleepy.

And maybe they shared the word and it was all dead. And after the meeting, Paul said, Hey, fellas, I want to ask you guys a question. Did you people ever get filled with the Holy Spirit? Holy Spirit? We've never heard it.