My Life Story — Willie Mullan

The Healing of the Man Born Blind

The Gospel by John, chapter 9, verse 1. And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth. And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?

Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents, but that the works of God should be made manifest in him. I must work the works of him that sent me while it is day. The night cometh when no man can work.

As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world. And when he had thus spoken, he spat on the ground and made clay of the spittle. And he anointed the eyes of the blind man with the clay, and said unto him, Go wash in the pool of Siloam, which is by interpretation sent.

He went his way therefore, and washed, and came seeing. The neighbors therefore, and they which before had seen him that he was blind, said, Is not this he that sat and begged? Some said, This is he. Others said, He is like him.

But he said, I am he. And therefore said they unto him, How were thine eyes opened? And I always think that that's a wonderful question. You see, the people were gazing upon a man who had been blind from birth, and now he could see, and they very naturally asked the question, How were thine eyes opened?

The Person, Work, and Words of Jesus

And if that was a good question, it got a good answer. Listen to the answer. Verse 11. He answered and said, A man that is called Jesus. You see, the answer to the whole thing was not a party. It wasn't the party that had done this thing for this man.

And it wasn't the place. And it most certainly wasn't the pilgrimage. This wonderful thing was done by a person. A man that is called Jesus. That's who did it. Just a person. A wonderful person. Our wonderful Lord.

But he went further with the answer. He said, A man that is called Jesus made clay and anointed mine eyes. You see, he didn't only talk about the person, but he talked about the work that the person had done for him.

That's a good answer, isn't it? When you begin to talk about the person and the person's work for you, that's good preaching. But he didn't stop there even. He went further. He said, A man that is called Jesus made clay and anointed mine eyes and said unto me, Go to the pool of St. Norm and wash.

And I went and washed and I received sight. You see, he began by talking about the person and then by talking about the person's work for him and then by talking about the person's words to him. That's what I came to talk about this evening.

About the person who has done so much for me. About the work that he accomplished at Calvary whereby I am free. And about his words that makes me absolutely sure about what I'm talking about. May God bless to us the reading of his word for his namesake.

Many Paths to Christ, but Only Christ Leads to God

Now in giving what has been termed so often my life story, I want to make two things perfectly clear at the commencement of this meeting. First of all, I want a word with all the young believers in this place this evening.

You see, there are folks who were just saved this week, praise the Lord. And there are folks in this building this evening who are only saved a few weeks and maybe only a few months. I want to talk to all you young folks in Christ this evening first.

And I want to say to you, my young brother or sister, that if everything surrounding my coming to know the Savior doesn't just tally exactly with everything surrounding your coming to know the Savior, don't let me upset you.

Let me teach you this. That there are many ways that lead to Christ. There are many ways that lead to Christ, but let's get this clear. Only Christ leads to God. Let me illustrate it for you. You know the story of Noah and the ark.

And you know there was one door into the ark, one door and only one. And you know that the animals all came by different ways to the door. The lion would leave the darkness of the jungle and it found a pathway, directed by God, of course, to the door.

And the eagle would leave its proud perch in the heavens and it found a different pathway to the door. And they all came by different ways. But only in through the door meant salvation. So there are many ways that lead to Christ.

But only Christ leads to God. So young friend, if you've got Christ, you can shout hallelujah. Because Christ will take you all the way to heaven. He's leading many sons to glory, the Savior. And then the second thing that I want to explain right at the commencement is this.

Glorifying the Savior With Every Ability

The whole bench and objective of my heart just now is to glorify my Savior. That's the objective. I'm putting my cards on the table just that you'll see them. I shall work every faculty I have and every ounce of strength and every bit of ability that God has given me to the one end that I shall speak well of my master.

That's what I came for. I'm sure that I'll shock some of you when I say that I'm the youngest one of a family of 17. There were only 17 of us, that's all. And I'm sure I'll shock you more when I say that there were 16 boys in our family and one girl.

She had the time of her life looking after us. And of course when I make the statement that I'm the youngest one of a family of 17, you're all old-fashioned enough to know that I could never at any time in my life have been a spoiled boy.

You see, when there's one wee laddie in the family, well, Grandmother will come round and spoil them, or Granda will come round and spoil them. Or if there's one wee lass, well, she'll be spoiled. But when they cuddle 16 of them before you arrive, it's not the left and the left, you know.

It's a wonderful thing belonging to a family of 17. I mean, I don't know if you've ever seen 17 knives all dabbing at once at the one quarter pound of butter. I don't know if you've ever seen it. There's one thing, you know, when you get 16 big fellas round the table, you never grumble about your dinner.

Because if you took time to grumble, the dinner would be over, didn't it? Well, you just locked it up, you know. Thank God for it. My father was a sergeant major in the old Ulster Volunteers. And with many another gallant Ulster man, he laid his life down at the Battle of the Somme on the 1st of July, 1960.

That's something that in Ulster we shall always remember, and we shall always be very proud of, our gallant Ulster men who fought so well. Of course, that left my mother with a great problem, didn't it?

1916 and 17 of a family and the war on. I needn't tell you that she didn't have to look round the corner for her troubles. British government, of course, didn't give her her war pension until that war was well over, 1920 or thereabouts, before she got her pension, so that we had all the trouble of the day.

A Godly Mother’s Prayers

I'd like to say a word about my mother, just quickly. She was a little woman, just about four feet six or thereabouts, but she was a godly woman. Very proud of this. You know, we were read like this, that no matter where we were, we must be in at ten o 'clock at night.

And we'd all come in through the door as ten would chime, and then she would wait till the last one was in, and then she'd march up to the front and she would kneel on the tiles by the fire there, and we would all kneel together.

And she would pray for us. She would always pray for each one right down the line, she didn't miss any, and then she would pray for me last, because I was youngest, and I can always remember this bit.

I can remember her wavering, old voice saying, Lord, bless Willie, and someday save him, and make him a man of God. Many times, of course, I wondered why we had to come in when all the other boys prayed.

Because she would let the bigger ones out again, they'd go out after the prayer, but I had to go to bed, I was the wee fellow, so I was put to bed. Although I had a godly mother, and was reared in that sort of atmosphere, unfortunately, I became the black sheep of this family of ours.

Alcohol, Homelessness, and the Depths of Sin

When I was fifteen years of age, I can remember this only too well, and I know the very start. I can remember two men who were much older than me and they took me into a pub for my first drink. I don't know why the barman served it at all, but he did.

And I can remember standing just a lad of fifteen at the bar and drinking this booze, and I can remember that I always wanted to go back again. And before I was sixteen years of age, a good wee bit before it, I was a confirmed boozer.

Every hit me I found and stole. I went and boozed it. Drunk everything I could get, and many times I'd come home and fall in the door, and my brothers who didn't do this sort of thing, they would fight with me and butter me, and my good old mother would try to defend me.

Although it was her heart that was breaking most. And when I was just sixteen years of age, and one month to be exact in the dates, my old mother took a seizure one day when I was in the house and I gripped her, and I laid her down on the couch, and I knew she had gone to heaven.

I can remember her very last breathings as she looked up and talked to her Saviour. I can see her white face now as she praised Him, and she went in to be with Him. And for her it was far better. You know, I was a silly boy, but I knew this much, that at that second as I laid her down there, that I'd lost one of the greatest friends I'd ever had.

Nobody cared for me and nobody stood up for me like my mother, you know. And I knew she was gone. And I stood and looked at her form and I wept. And I can remember this. I put my hand on her brow, and I said, Mother, I make this promise just now that I will never be drunk again.

And I was very sincere about that, you know. I can remember my hand being up on her brow and saying, Mummy, I'll never be drunk again, dear. I'll never touch it again. And two hours later, I was stupid drunk, of course.

You see, many times I made up my mind, and many times I thought I'd get rid of this cursed thing. But you know, it defeated me. It had glipped me. It mastered me. I was a defeated man. And don't go scolding these poor fellows.

Don't go romping and raging. You've never stood in that man's shoes. And you never saw things through his eyes. But don't be too quick about it. You can curse him, and batter him, and scold him, and scorn him.

That won't help him, you know. He's gripped, mastered, defeated. If you start to pray for him, you might get someplace. Here I was, boozed up again. Then we carried her remains away to the cemetery, and laid her mortal remains to the last resting place.

And then we came back home again, and my elder brother, who was very well to do, he looked round at some of the other brothers, and he said, well, tell me, you take this fellow home and look after him.

Will you do what they said to one of them? He said, no, I can't do it. I'm rearing a small family, and I'm not bringing that fellow home. And then he said to another one, what about you doing it? You've got a good home.

He said, no, I'm not taking anything to do with it. Of course, I could see this thing being shuffled around, you know. And I'm not casting any reflection on them. I've got enough sense to know now that they were right there.

To take a boy like me in among a small family just would never have done at all. They were quite correct in what they did. But, you know, at sixteen I thought I was a big fellow, and I just lifted my coat like that and put it over my arm, and I said, all right, you're going to look after your family, so, well, go ahead.

And I walked through the door. And that was the last time I saw the inside of the house for the next three and a half years. I just became a tramp, that's all. And I can remember, you know, begging in these very streets, back to me so vividly, I can always remember going up that's my lady's room and knocking at the doors.

And I hadn't shoes in my feet. I was on my bare feet. I was only sixteen and a half and asking for pennies. And when I got them I bruised them, of course. I remember that too well. And you young fellows know this, that when you get out into the world and you have no good old mother and you haven't any fears about God and no dread about hell, you know, the devil just plunges you down into the very depths of the gutter.

And that's exactly where I went. Every day took me deeper and deeper and deeper. And three and a half years of real darkness and mud and muck and sin was my awful portion. And then when I had gone for three and a half years I came back to the town where I was read.

The Church’s Responsibility Toward the Lost

I can remember the day I walked in through the railway arch that was there then and I was almost twenty years of age now. I'd got a beard on, just old torn shirt and a pair of uppers and old soles in the shoes, walking on the bare feet.

And I entered into the town and well, boys that I went to school with didn't know me of course. I don't think they wanted to. And you know the horrible thing is this, that I look back to those dreadful days when I was going down and down and down and down and there wasn't a Christian in the round it seemed who would come and put his arm round the wee fellow and try to tell him about the Saviour.

I'm sure I would have argued, but where were God's men? Why, some of us are so stiff and starchy. Oh, you can sing the hymns all right and the hallelujahs, I know all about it. But the poor fellow that's gone to hell before your eyes, some of you never touch him.

You're like the man that passed him by on the other side. Not like the Saviour at times, you know, before he came and lifted him. Nobody seemed to care. And I came into the town and I was ashamed when I walked down the main street so I turned into the first alley I came to.

Couldn't describe it to you tonight, it was a little alley with tumbledown shacks. And as I walked into the alley, I saw an empty one here. I knew who owned these tumbledown shacks so I just walked round and found the little lady who owned them, a little lady called Mrs. Orr.

I said, Mrs. Orr, I'm Willie Mullen and I want that empty house that's up the alley. She said, what do you want it for? I said, to live here. She never debated anything, she just lifted the key and gave it to me.

And so I came up and turned into the alley and turned the key in the door and walked in. Just a tumbledown shack it was, a kitchen and a room and an old upstairs that was falling down and the rain came in, you could count the stars through the slates and all that sort of thing.

And I went down to the little shop at the corner and with about the last fourpence I had I bought a gas mantle and came up and put it on and that was all the furniture I had. So that if some of you young ones are thinking of starting up a house, you know, if you can get the gas mantle you can start, I can assure you about this.

The Den of Iniquity and the Gospel Invitation

But you know friends, this is the saddest bit of my story because this tumbledown shack became the greatest den of iniquity in our land. There are policemen here tonight, Max Tedd, the constable sitting over there.

And if the police records were open tonight it would be proved that this old house was the greatest den of iniquity that was in this land. I'm very sad that I was ever connected with it, but I was. It's true that my name was on the rent book if there was a rent book.

But it's equally true that about a dozen men came in there every day to gamble. And they gambled all day and they boozed all night. And when you gamble all day and booze all night, friend, you don't work.

And when you don't work you need money for this booze and you need money for this gambling. And they just got it, that's all I'm saying to you. They just got it. In some horrible scenes I've seen here, I've awoken in the morning with a man lying under the stairs, one in the hall, another in the kitchen and so on.

The whole place was drunk men. And that's the environment that I found myself in. And I've painted the picture far enough. I've painted the picture far enough. Just keep that, dear brother, just a piece there.

And when I got to that stage of the journey, one evening we were sitting round a card table and I heard a little noise at the door and under the door came a little white square bill. I went and picked it up and read it.

It was announcing a gospel mission at the Baptist Church at Newton House. The late Dr. Tucker from Temple Moore Hall was to be the preacher. I took all that in as I looked at the little bill. Then I screwed it up and threw it down.

Said to some of the other boys it doesn't really matter. It's only a gospel mission. It doesn't concern us. And that night we went through the usual routine of boozing and gambling. And in the early hours of the morning, very early in the morning, I found myself waking out of a drunken sleep and seeing all this crowd around me.

And I got out through the door into the alley and as I went down the alley and just turned the corner, I came face to face, almost bumped into a young fellow going to work. He was going to work about half past four or a quarter to five in the morning.

And I knew who he was. He was a fellow who did a lot of preaching on the streets. We used to see him standing with his Bible up preaching on his own because I thought he was a fool, you know. And the moment that I bumped into him at the corner and I was half drunk, I thought about the bill and I said to him, I say, you're going to have a mission at the Baptist church, you see.

He said, yes, we're going to have a mission. I said, you know, I was thinking about coming along somewhere. I had no notion of going along, of course. I was only wanting to talk nice to him. And you know, the moment that I said that I was thinking of going along, I could see his eyes were open wide.

He nearly fainted. But then being an old Baptist, you see, he soon got his breath back and he said to me, well, if you're thinking of coming along somewhere, I'll come up for you and I'll go down with you and I'll sit with you.

And then it was me that nearly fainted now. Like that sort of crap, you know. But you know, just the way the young fellow looked at me and said, I'll come up for you and I'll go down with you and I'll sit with you.

It came like a challenge. And I said, you know, I have no notion of going to the gospel meeting. I don't go to those things. But if you're as keen as all that, I'll really go. He said, will you? I said, I will.

I'll go one night. And we made the date there and then and I was determined to keep it and I kept it. I can remember the night all right when they took me to the Baptist church and I sat in the back seat and I can remember this old man coming out to preach.

The Coming Day of Wrath

And I remember saying this to myself, I'll listen very carefully to what this old fellow's got to say. And I can remember where he read from. He read from the book of the Revelation where we read that the kings of the earth and the chief captains and the great men and the burnt men and every free man hid themselves in the dens and called on the rocks and mountains to fall upon them and hide them from the face of him that sitteth on the throne and from the wrath of the Lamb for the great day of his wrath is come.

And that was the subject that evening. The old man was talking to them about the coming day of wrath for this world. And mind you, we're nearer it tonight. We're much nearer it. My Kennedy, Edge, Khrushchev, they are weak.

But it will not always pay off. This world will shake yet from storm to storm and this book will be correct. The kings of the earth. Wonder will our queen be among them. I am the chief captains. I am the mighty men and the mountains to fall upon them when the day of his wrath is come.

You know, I was over preaching at Queen's University some time ago. And when I preached to all the students one of the professors came along and said to me, Mr. Mellon, will you write that thing out for me that you quoted, just the thing I quoted last night.

He said, will you write it out for me? I said, I will. And I started there and then and I scribbled it out on a piece of paper. And as I handed it to him I said, what do you teach in here? He said, I'm an atomic scientist.

I'm only over giving lectures. I work with Dr. Penny, the great scientist. So I knew that I was near to a man now a man who knew a lot about something that I knew nothing of. And I thought I'd better ask him a few questions.

I said, now look, I don't know anything about this thing. I want to ask a simple question and if you can answer it, do. If you're not allowed to, don't bother. Tell me this, sir. Is it possible to bring a plane over Belfast and some man in the plane to lift a little bomb and throw it out and 500 ,000 people are killed in a split second?

Tell me can that happen, you tell me. And here's his answer. I noted it very carefully. He looked at me, he said, Mr. Mullen, it's 10 ,000 times beyond that. He said, we can bring a plane over here and something can be launched out and you won't see this wee island of ours anymore.

They could put it off the map tonight. Put it off the map. And when the day of God's wrath is come and this world begins to cry, poor us then, when the day of his wrath is coming, you're living in the day of his grace and you should praise the Lord for it.

The Living Word and the Fruit of Evangelism

And so I listened to the old man preaching. And I might as well tell you my conclusions. I thought he was the greatest fool I'd ever heard in my life. That was the conclusion. I want to talk to the preachers for a moment or two.

You know, sometimes we preachers, we count heads and we count names and we count numbers. And you know, if we examine it all just a short time afterwards, you'll find there's not very much in it. We've seen this in Belfast a thousand times.

And the old preacher, because I preached with him many times afterwards, he said to me when he was just dying, a day or two before he died, he said to me, Willie, when I look back at all my preaching, I preached at Newtown Arts at that time for three weeks and I never saw a soul save.

But you were the outcome of that meeting. And he said, Willie, I'm looking back and that was the best message I ever heard. Then let's get into the habit of counting numbers or names or signing cards.

My, we need a work from God! You know, friends, I went out of the meeting in thinking the old fellow was a fool, but he had done something not like that I've always endeavored to do since. And it was this.

He very carefully and unsurprisingly buried a part of the Word of God in a poor sinner's heart. I took it out with me, you know. And that's a living Word. That's not a book out of the library, you know.

That's the living, impregnable, unchangeable, unalterable, eternal Word of the living God. That's God's Word. You know, friends, I needn't say that I didn't go back to the mission. I had no notion of going back.

I didn't go back near it. But about three weeks after the mission was over, the boys sat round the table and they said, you know, there's a certain place that we could go and we could lift quite a lot of money, but we need somebody to make the plans properly.

And when they were looking for plans to be made, they always looked at me. I was the youngest one of the two, but unfortunately I was the brains. And they sent me out this day and I went out to search the land.

And I jumped into a field just to have a look round, see how we could get there, and when the police came, see how we could get away. And I just jumped into the field and was standing in the grass and having a good look round the land when something said to me, what about this day of wrath?

Confronted by God’s Judgment and Love

Do you know what was happening? It was this seed that this man planted in here. It was beginning to germinate. But you know, I got so hardened and so rebellious that I said to myself, there's no day of wrath.

There's maybe no God and no heaven and no hell and no anything. I was going to plunge on. And then the voice came again, what if there should be a day of wrath? What if you should meet God just in the next step or two?

Tell me, dear, have you ever thought about meeting God? You know, missus, you'll meet God. Listen, young fellow, you'll meet God. Listen, father, you'll meet God. Every breathing soul in this building this evening, sooner or later, individually, we're going out into eternity to meet God.

Horrible moment for some of you. Do you know, this made me pull up, going to meet God. And when I looked at the hills and into the valleys and round out just 20 miles of earth that I could see, I knew quite well there were millions and millions and millions of miles of earth that I'd never seen.

And God had made the heavens and the earth. I knew there was a God to meet, all right, just there. But you know, I got the silly idea that God had somehow stepped out from behind the clouds and said, I'm here and you're going to meet me, that he might lift me and righteously drown me in the deepest hell.

That's what I thought God had come to do. I can remember saying these actual words. I said, oh God, you're there and I'm a rebel sinner and you're going to drown me in hell? Well, it's all right, I deserve it.

I thought that God had come to drown me. But you know, like a flash came this way. What are you trembling about? Sure, God loves you. You know, I just couldn't get that. I stood there. I couldn't get the hold of this.

I thought God loved the people that went to church. God loved the people that said prayers. God loved the people that carried their Bibles. I couldn't get this, that God loved a down-and-out rebel, scarlet, reptile sinner just like me.

I couldn't get that. And then like a flash it came, this is what these men pitched at the corners, that God so loved... I was beginning to get it. Did God love the whole world but me?

Or not? Or not?

You know, friends, I was getting this clear, that God loved the world of sinners, lost. And I was just one of them. And then it came like a flash, that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son.

You know, I was beginning to follow this right through, that God's lovely Son had come down and had gone to dark, rugged, blood-stained Calvary. And on the old rugged cross, He had died for the ungodly.

Oh, how it came into my soul that Christ had died for an ungodly sinner just like me. And He had so finished that atoning work that He rose from the dead and there was a living Saviour for me. And if I would personally, experientially trust Him, I would never perish but have everlasting life.

I could see the light of the Gospel. You know, friends, just at that moment when the light of the Gospel came in like that, I was almost singing. Oh, but the devil doesn't give you up like that, you know.

The devil said to me, What about your pals? What about the booze? What about the gambling? How are you going to fix up everything that you're in? What about your sin? Oh, friends, I stood in between the two.

Repentance, Faith, and Personal Conversion

You know, I could take you to the very spot on the field where I stood. And on that side was my sin and my pals and my booze. And on this side was the cross and the Saviour who died and rose again. And I knew that if I would only give my life to Him and trust Him, I would really get saved and start for heaven.

But I was trembling. I can remember very well what I did. I took my cap off now. And I screwed it into a rope. I stood there. And then I knew I've got to make this great decision. And I turned very desperately with that old screwed cap in my hand.

And I said, Lord Jesus, on this spot, just now, I will give you my whole life. And I will trust you now as my own and personal Saviour. And I was saved. I was saved. You know, there was no picture there.

And there was no card to sign. And there was nobody to tell me what had happened. I was all alone, but I had met the Saviour. I knew all about this, you know. I crawled out through the hedge now onto the road.

And there was a big fellow coming down the road. He was about 25 years of age. I said, Hey, boy, can you read that? See that field in there? I met the Saviour there two minutes ago. You know, he ran away.

There was all the shape of the road. He thought this was some rude figure that got out of Don Patrick or something. I can see him yet. You know, one of the Protestants of Ulster. Oh, yes, yes. Dark as night, you know.

Didn't know a thing about what I was talking about. There he was running away up the road. I went down the road a little bit. I met another big man. Big man, over six feet high. I said, Hello, mister.

See that field in there? I met the Saviour there five minutes ago. Oh, this fellow didn't run, but. Oh, no. This fellow belonged to the people called Brethren. The Lord blessed them. Amen. Say hallelujah when they get old about it.

He says, Did you meet the Saviour, son? I said, I have met the Saviour and I have accepted him and I'm saved. You know, I can see this big man with tears rolled down his face. He put two big hands on my shoulders.

And I'll never forget what he said. He said this. He said, Son, fear not the unknown model. Dread not the new demands life makes of thee. For the one who saved you today, he'll keep you for all eternity.

Isn't that lovely? And we went down the road together, you know. I know he wouldn't let me in if he saw me, but it doesn't matter. I asked our very dear brother at the crossroads that day. It was then that I almost only came to my senses.

I was like Peter. I was out of the prison, all right. And the shackles were off and my heart was bubbling over. But I began to think about the things I must face. And you know, I was thinking about the crowd down in the house who were waiting on me.

And when I began to think about them, I got afraid. I had every right to be. There were twelve men there, and I would say that eight of them carried loaded revolvers every day they lived. I'll say no more about that.

But I knew that when I went down and went in through the door, that there was going to be trouble. And I don't mean an argument. Us boys don't argue. You could lose your life in this thing. If I walked in and said, boys, I'm finished, I'm not going with you anymore, they would all get scared.

They'd think you were going to tell the police on them. And you could lose your life in a thing like that. I wasn't any better than they were. Because every day I walked those roads, I had a belt around here and I had an open razor in there.

It was in a special pouch, specially made. And the hook of the razor just came over the ends of the pouch. And I used to practice in a looking glass, just doing that, and taking it out. It was open now.

I could just stand like that, put my hand there, just like that, and take it out. Just like street lightning. And the faster you got it out, the better. And you know, when I stood at the crossroads, I was trembling.

I said, Lord, I'm saved. And I'm not going back to those things. I'll go down and tell them. I'm the first man that says a word about you. And before I knew it, the hand in the razor out, I said, Lord, I'll cut my head off.

A good start, wasn't it? Oh, I'll get the sack after this night. Paisley will sack me after this night. Ah, but you know, you know, friends, I was a rather good alright, wasn't I? Yes, this was not the way at all.