Keeping Every Relationship Right — Mack Tomlinson

You should go watch that Times Square is full of people and I don't know what what Thing was going on a bunch of Christians were but just pull that up and watch him and See the people worshiping. It's it's very moving 10 ,000 reasons live in Times Square.

So well, thank you for having me back. It's good to be home and glad that Wife of 40 and a half years Linda. It's here for the first time and Brother Jason from from our church and Glenn all the way in from Nepal going back soon God willing and then Mariana Rebus from Monterey.

Well, all right, she's trying to get me to say it right and it's a hopeless so Corpus is about halfway from Monterey to Denton for her and so she came into Corpus for the first time ever not from across the border right from North Texas, so We're glad she's here.

I Second-edition new and improved life of Leonard Ravenhill just came out. There's a first edition I saw back there, but this is it's up. It's I started to say upgraded. That's right in it. I Was mentally uploaded or upgraded.

So updated that's it. And it's there's new chapters in it. There's new material in it and so Granted ministries in Missouri Published it. So speaking of Leonard Ravenhill. I just grabbed this off and Jason's book table Ravenhills revival God's way.

The Church’s Call to Forbearance, Forgiveness, and Love

You can find his books on Amazon. You know use ones. None of them were hardbacks. So they're all smaller so if you haven't read Leonard Ravenhill, he's a jolt a Spiritual shock to awake you out of spiritual slumber, so somebody somebody buy this for the nights over turn with me to Colossians 3 and we're going to Look at a subject that is vitally important in the church.

I'm preaching to the church this weekend to build up the church. Tonight I'm going to address two things. One is horizontal. That if you don't have this as a church you won't Have influence as a church if we don't have tonight what I'm going to talk about it as a church in our churches.

Then we will not prosper. Spiritually, we won't be effective. The Holy Spirit will be quenched. God will be grieved. What am I talking about brother. Colossians 3 verse 12 through 14 Put on therefore as the elect of God holy and beloved put on bowels or the inner Possession, you know bowels as a King James Word that has Not good picture connotations for us.

But it means the the inner man right at the heart of who you are put on inward. Mercies kindness humbleness of mind meekness long-suffering. Forbearing with one another now pause. Why do we need to be encouraged to forbear with one another?

What's implied in that? We're tempted not to. Well, I'm tired of her. Well, he's irritating me, right? So we were told to forbear with one another forgiving one another. Why we told to do that. Because.

Because at times we're we wrong each other. If Anyone has a quarrel against any even as Christ forgave you so do also. So also do you and above all these things put on charity love? Now pause on that one, too.

If you're walking in love Are you going to forbear with one another? Yes. If you're walking in love, are you going to forgive your brother or sister when they wrong you yes. Love takes care of that above all these things put on love.

Which is the bond of peace or the bond of perfectness? So What I want you to think about tonight is this in your church is Every relationship that you have with your brothers and sisters currently, right.

Or are there things Not right. Relationally with sisters or brothers or couples with couples. I Can say before the Lord tonight with a clear conscience by God's grace. When I think of our church in Denton I can picture the families.

I can picture our elders and our deacons. And I can picture the people who've been there the longest 19 years. I Can picture people that have been there a month? I can think of every person and I can say before the Lord.

My relationship is right with them. There's nothing broken. There's nothing I Know that I've done that I hadn't made, right? There's nothing as far as I know on their part. That's wrong toward me. I can I don't have to avoid them.

I Don't have to wonder. I know as far as It depends on me That every relationship that I have as a Christian and as a pastor in my church is right. Can you say that about your church? This is an exhortation encouragement to prod you to stir you to remind you to encourage you Just towards something that's really important the brethren in your church the most important and challenging thing a church can face is Weekend and week out month after month year after year to maintain fresh relationships.

Loving the People God Has Placed in Your Church

To not get tired of each other. The old Poet said To live above with the Saints. We love that will be glory glory. But to live below with the Saints we know that's a different story. It's easy You know to love believers that have gone on before us.

It's easy to go to the fellowship conference and you see brethren you hadn't seen for a year and you have a love fest. Then you come home to those you see all the time. You don't love as much. I know absence makes the heart grow fonder sometimes, but It's more important for you to love each other here that you worship God with.

That's more important than The love you show in a sense once a year at a conference. That's important. But this is more important wine because these are the brethren God's put you with to walk with to strengthen you to build you up for you to pray together and For you to walk with arm-in-arm spiritually.

Spiritually. Glenn was telling us in the car this happened and I heard he and Jason talking about how in Nepal the men will walk down the street holding hands or Arm around each other and it's a normal thing to do.

It's not weird. Well spiritually, that's the way we ought to be with each other. Are you harboring? Any ill will or Unforgiveness or grudge or bitterness or Withholding love toward anybody and in the body Because of something that's offended you hurt you or you've misinterpreted or misunderstood Not made right that will Quench your walk with Christ and it will quench the Holy Spirit even in The assembly and in the meetings that can quench the Holy Spirit.

So let's think about this because in our own churches How many years is a churchman here been meeting okay ten years. The honeymoons over. Or is it? Okay. But you know a church starts and then it's excitement and and there's joy and excitement and then you hit a year two years five years and ten years and It is what it is and relationships are Established and you we drew do grow used to each other and that can become Problematic if we don't cherish each other and maintain the relationships and who's that depend on.

You not mark depends on you. It depends on the Holy Spirit, but he's depending on you to maintain the relationships and keep them, right. And why does this become difficult? Because We rub one another the wrong way at times.

We offend We neglect and people get their feelings hurt. We can show favoritism and we don't realize we're doing it. Clicks can develop and So At times we fail one another and we sin against one another we disappoint one another.

We hurt one another we can even hit it at a bad moment. Be judgmental or neglect the relationship or be unfriendly Towards somebody and hurts their feelings. We didn't even know we were doing it and we we can settle in to Relational Mediocrity and we treat each other worse than Christ treats us and we get we can get into I've seen it happen.

We can get into a Culture of well these brethren. I'm especially close to but I'm not close to them. You know why you might not be close to them because you never pursue them. You don't spend time with them you hang out with those you're comfortable with and That's the sin of schism or schism both.

Both way you can say it either way. It means you're being divisive in the body because you're showing preference towards some and so Here's the deal if we're called to love all All That means no one excluded in my heart.

I'm to be loving toward all and I'm to be loving Individually as I relate to you to care about you in the moment to receive you to be gracious to not neglect each other. If we're called to love all question.

How can I know if I'm loving someone or not? What shows me if? Real love is absent. Here's the answer how? Self-test. How is my relationship with every brother and every sister in the church? I think about them are things right with him or with them.

Am I actively showing them love? Do I ever try to be with them or are there people in my church? I've never been with ever in Fellowship, how is my relationship now? I'm not talking about the fact that we won't have deeper friendships somehow at times or more of a connection with some than others that does happen and God gives Relationships.

Sometimes it's closer. Why? Because that relationship they may need each other. For a period or someone really is able to minister to someone With their gifts and their abilities and God uses somebody to really help a brother or a sister.

So I'm not talking about that. The issue is not am I equally close to everybody. The issue is is my relationship With everybody right and fresh and okay, or is it damaged? Is there anyone in my church that I can think about them and say My relationship with them is damaged.

Is my relationship with the brethren current right good clear conscience. Unbroken and ongoing or is it damaged? Alienated broken. Wounded. So which of those two did you pass or fail that test? My testimony.

That I shared early earlier about. As far as I know no relationship being wrong. This but this becomes real to me For several reasons number one as I read the epistles of the New Testament Paul and Peter and the authors major on this and Our Lord Jesus Christ majored on it.

If you come to the altar to offer your gift and there what? Remember what that your brother? Stop your worship stop the praise music. Go get right then come worship. Relationships in the New Testament are supreme.

Paul over and over and over again Was admonishing bear with one another? Forgive one another. Be patient with one another so. You know, you're walking in love when the relationship as much as you know is really right.

And if another person has a problem with you, and you don't know it then that's their problem they have to Make things right, but you and I must be at peace as much as it depends on us with all the brethren.

Unity Without Requiring Uniformity

Do we have to agree on everything? No, we don't. Some opinions or preferences some homeschool others don't. I Have a friend. He's kind of old-school. I mean I'm kind of old-school too, by the way. But this this guy's really old-school.

He will not go to church Without a suit and tie on because that's what he's always been and you know. Now he doesn't think that that pleases God more. But it's just him and so He doesn't judge others though for how they dress in church and He's able to walk in love with every Difference that there is.

I was looking one Sunday at a church lunch table that we were having and there was this very conservative Older godly lady she wears a head covering on on Sunday and She was sitting Fellowshipping with and loving on a young woman who had bright purple hair and I.

It was a pause moment. I said that is wonderful. Can you love on people that are different than you? Can you accept them and not judge them. The kingdom of God is not meat or drink. But what? Righteousness peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

To truly be walking in love we have to have a current right relationship with the brethren and It starts with our wife and her husband. Linda and I went and had a Valentine's Date Thursday night. That was Valentine's Day, right?

Earlier did I call it Thanksgiving? Valentine's Day we went out to dinner and There was something I needed to make right with her that I hadn't made right there was wrong and it was Symptomatic of kind of how I was in an area of my life.

There was a there was a defect and The Lord had been dealing with me about it and I Had to make it right and Do you ever if you have to make something right with your husband or off you ever have fear of bringing it up.

They're gonna be mad at me. They're gonna be upset and I had to face my fear and overcome it so we talked and She didn't get mad at me. She was sweet forgiving and We had a tremendous time there. Because I knew I had to be right with her.

Every relationship, right? You with your pastor. Is it right? Or do you harbor? Thoughts you with your deacons church leaders toward you. We're just as responsible for Relationships being right not broken not alienated not damaged because if we know any wrong relationships Christ says Leave your gift at the altar meaning Go now and fix it.

Mend it if you don't if you won't. Then if I'm not right with my brother and I'm not willing to be right. I can't be right with my heavenly father. Now that'll push in a corner. What are you gonna do?

You're gonna be real me a real believer. You're gonna be a real follower of Christ or you can have the moral courage and the humility to go. Because you do God will give grace and favor and you'll come away with a clear conscience and with freedom.

That you didn't have before. So get relationships, right. Because you're not loving your brother. If you won't do that, and what do we do? We rationalize often. We say we think Well, it'll take care of itself.

It's really nothing. I don't need to bother with that. They'll they'll think I'm weird. They'll get offended. They'll get hurt. They'll misinterpret it. It'll make it worse. It'll create more problems, then it'll solve.

Did I touch on your excuse? What's your excuse? You would have for not making a relationship, right? It's been damaged. The reason some true Christians won't get relationships, right? It's too scary. Or it's too painful.

Or they're too proud. 11 years ago On a Sunday night, I think it was in December Sunday night. We have a family tradition. We don't do it as much we used to. We were gonna have popcorn and those little sausages.

That's our Sunday night meal. So I put some Pot to cook the popcorn on the stove. Put the oil in started heating it up. Phone call comes in on the phone turn around. There's a stove fire flames flames.

Facing Pain to Heal Broken Relationships

Just so I Did what you're not supposed to do? My son opened the back door. I said son open the door. I grabbed two hot pads and I kind of Hurried is burning. I hurried toward the back door and I and I threw it.

Don't do that don't do this at home. I Mean, I went like this what happened? The flames instantly burned my hands my forearm and By that night I had I had quarter-inch half-inch Bubbles Encircling my fingers and up here and and it started hurting so long story short, I I didn't go the doctor.

I just used aloe vera. I said, well, it'll get better. It didn't get better and So Linda said you got to go the doctor. I went to the doctor. Doctor said Why didn't you why didn't you go the doctor before now?

I got to send you to Parkland Hospital. Biggest burn unit in the country now, it wasn't. I don't guess it was third-degree burns, but was it. Anyway, it was hurting. So I'll go to Parkland and It's the biggest burn unit in the country so they put me on a.

They put me in the hall and this young surgeon. He looked like he could have been 14 Comes out there. So let me see these he said well, we can treat these right here. So He gets out scissors and he cuts all the dead skin off.

Down to the and then he pulls out these little brushes and a dish of soap and I said is he gonna do what I think he's gonna do. They gave me morphine and then he begins to scrub every burn and I gritted my teeth and I had to take it and right after that he they put the burn ointment on the open wounds.

Immediately from then on no pain. The pain was gone. They wrapped them Linda and I went and I had a nice dinner and no more pain after that. And what I learned was this I had to face it and deal with it and I had to go to one who could treat it because the The pain and seriousness of not dealing with it became greater Than Facing it and dealing with it.

Do you have relationships? That need healing and you've not dealt with it and there's this nagging Conscience issue. I know that's not right. It's not going away. It's not going to heal. Until You face the pain and the humiliation or the humility of going cutting that thing out and letting the grace and the love of Christ wash that deal and Heal that relationship.

How serious important is this if loving Christ and Loving ask Christ love is important. It's important If a clear conscience is important if a good testimony is important if the health of your church.

Did you know that your? Withholding forgiveness can spoil the whole Atmosphere of the church. A Little leaven can live in the whole lump. Your sin relationally can keep the Holy Spirit from moving. How important is this?

Resolving Conflict for the Health of the Church

Every Relationship, right? None wrong as much as it depends on you and the question we must ask is this. How serious do I view? My relationship Within the body. It's not only mark. That has to walk loving toward all of you.

All of you have to walk loving toward your leaders and toward one another. Do not neglect each other. Do not ignore one another do not pretend like things will go away. They won't. Several years ago, we had two families come to our church and They were reformed in their theology and they were strongly a part of the family integrated church movement.

They show up and from the first Sunday after the service. They're talking to young couples about You know, are you aware the family integrated? Church the family integrated Movement. Oh, it's so good.

You should really go to their conferences conversations over the Now pastor Tom Winston. Why are y 'all not a part of the integrated church movement? It was a soapbox and That came two weeks three weeks four weeks every Sunday.

That was their hobby horse. Philip Neely one of He was our only other elder time we said This is not going away. We call the man one of the men the older man had breakfast with him and we said We're glad that you come to visit but We want you to know what we're about.

We're not about The family primarily we're about the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ and the full counsel of God and What was weird is we didn't have our children out of the worship. I don't know what they wanted but we said we're not a part of the family integrated movement, we're not going to be and so You're welcome to keep coming but don't bring the topic up ever again if you do come.

And he said I understand they never came back. If we had not dealt with it then we probably would had six months of confusion among members of the body and then some some Discouragement on well, maybe you know, why aren't our pastors leading us toward family integration?

My point is this Things will not get better if you leave them undealt with. Relationally, that's true as well. If you know, there's something wrong in a relationship. May the Spirit of God Make you uncomfortable and uneasy.

Till you make it right and I'm not talking about you drumming up something and try to think of something. There was ten years ago that is fine and I'm not talking about trying to find something that doesn't exist.

I'm talking about the real deal be real. Do I know of a tangible relationship? That's not right. Are they good or Unresolved. Am I holding grudges. Am I holding on to some offense offense? Am I judging someone secretly and not loving them when relationships are not right?

Then we are not walking in love and we're not obeying Christ. We're hurting ourselves we're hurting our church and we're not honoring the Lord and we're grieving the Holy Spirit. We are quenching the Spirit when we leave the unhealed relationship.

Unfixed. When we're not doing that which makes for peace. So here's a question that I have asked myself and ask you to not. Do you really want to leave unhealed any Relationship. Do you are you willing to neglect a broken relationship and you not be the peacemaker if Anything is meant by Blesser of the peacemakers.

It's right here. Are you a peacemaker? Do you really want more weeks days weeks or months to pass and there's still no? Change. Look back at Colossians 3 3. Put on if you're one of the elect Colossians 3 12 put this stuff on inner Reality right down at the core of your being put on mercy put on Kindness put on humility put on meekness and long-suffering and always walk in being patient with those who irritate you and Always be forgiving of those.

When you know someone has offended you. Because when we're where there's nothing between my soul and any of the brethren. When when things are right love is real and it's active and it's fresh no barriers.

Sometimes I've asked it this way. Can I on a Sunday morning? Could I ask any family in the church or any brethren to say hey come over Tuesday night we'll cook dinner for you and we'll watch a movie together.

Or do I say We're kind of I'm not too close to them. We've always been too different or or. Can I do that in a loving and healthy way? What are we to do if we know our relationships wrong. If someone's wronged you go and tell them.

Matthew 18 15 you go if they listen you've gained your brother. Mark 11 when you stand praying forgive from the heart. You can forgive even if there's not Reconciliation or restoration. You can forgive from the heart.

Matthew 5 if you're a mate if you're offering your gift and there you remember your brother has something against you. Go and be Reconciled. Don't fear it face it. People true Christians are forgiving.

If they don't have a forgiving heart, they've not been forgiven and they're not a true Christian. So I close with this brethren. I may not have hit 30 minutes. Is every relationship you have with your brethren and other Christians that you're close to?

Pursuing Reconciliation and Living as Peacemakers

Right. Or do you have homework to do. Homework the Holy Spirit assigns you and says this is this is homework. Go. Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord and he will lift you up. He will help you. Brethren, let's make sure we are Maintaining every relationship as much as it depends on us in a right way.

Psalm 133 says What? How? How what? How wonderful this just look at it. Psalm 133 how wonderful how sweet how blessed how right? How God-pleasing. Behold how good and how pleasant now those phrases good means it's morally, right?

It's the will of God to dwell together in unity with your brothers. How pleasant that means sweetness its freshness its perfume. Its its freshness. How good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity.

It's like precious ointment on the head the rent down the beard it's like the dew of Hermon as The dude descended upon the mountains of Zion. For there. There where. What's there referring back to where brethren dwell together in unity for there the Lord Commands the blessing you as a church maintain unity by loving each other and keeping relationships, right there.

On your church God's going to bring blessing. But he can withhold it. If we're not right with each other and if you don't have unity and love and right relationship, it doesn't matter how good your doctrine is.

You're you're grieving the Spirit of God. It matter how great your preacher is you're grieving the Holy Spirit. Doesn't matter how much you know. Or what you've read the single most important thing within a local church.

Right along with Orthodox sound doctrine is the love of the brethren and relationships being right. Every relationship. Right, let's pray. Father we thank you that this is the standard your word has. It's simple.

It's not complex. But it's not easy. We pray. That you would help us to love each other. We pray you'd help us to walk in love to walk in forgiveness to maintain right relationships we pray Lord that You'd so work in our hearts and every relationship we have within the body would be right.

Give us grace and give us help in Jesus name. Amen.