Self-Life — Miles J. Stanford

The Self-Life and the Two Adams

Before we go further into the realm of the identification truths, we must pause to consider another very important subject, and that subject is the self-life, the life that we receive from the first Adam, the old nature, the old man that lives within our hearts as Christians.

We find that there is a life within that is sinful and that would drag us down, and there of course is a new life within, which is holy and righteous, the life of the Lord Jesus. And there are these two elements, and as a Christian is in a defeated condition, he's aware of a war going on within, a civil war, the worst type of war, the worst of all types of war, a civil war, where he's torn apart.

But he longs to do this, but he does right, but he does wrong, and that which he would not do, he does, and that which he would do, he does not, constant frustration, the up and down experience of the defeated Christian.

And this is caused by the life of the two Adams within, the life of the first Adam and the life of the last Adam. And the self life is the Adamic life, the fallen life, and this, and God's progression in our development usually, almost always is, that we really come, as Christians, come to find out about self before we come to find out really about the Lord Jesus Christ and learn of him.

God has us first learn about ourselves, and this creates a need, the necessary need, for us to really come to him as Christians and learn to abide in him and learn of him, increase in our knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ.

There has to be that need, that hunger, that thirst for him, so that God has a principle that he puts first things first, and in our growth, it's first self and then Christ, that we learn how to get off from under the dominion of self, we learn God's answer to this before we really find fulfillment in our development in the Lord Jesus Christ.

The hindrance has to be dealt with first, actually, and self is the hindrance, self is our greatest enemy, we're our own worst enemies as Christians, it isn't the other guy, it's me, it's me, oh Lord, it isn't the other fellow, it isn't circumstances, it isn't, actually, when you come right down to it, it's just me, it's the old life, it's the I life, the self life that is responsible for all the failure and all the problems in the Christian life, and yet God uses this as the very thing to develop us and bring us on and to teach us to abide in the Lord Jesus and rest in him, and live in his life.

Death Before Life in Christ

So there's this principle, first things first, with God, first it's not I, then but Christ, and first it is, except a grain of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone, and then it is, but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit, and it's first all the way delivered unto death, and then it is, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh, and as for service, it's first death worketh in us, and then it is, but life in you, and there is this principle, that the negative is first, and the negative is the basis for the positive, life springs out of death, that principle that we must learn, we must come to see, so that we realize how God works.

The Dangers of Pressured Decisions

There is, here's an important area concerning self that is vital for, a vital realm for us to see and understand, having to do, for instance, with service, with personal work as Christians, as we seek to lead others to the Lord Jesus, that there are so many, not only in personal work, but in our, in the, so many of the large so-called revival meetings, crusades and so forth, where people are brought to make certain decisions and do certain things because, so often, of the pressure or of the influence about them, huge meetings and all, all these different things, and then of course in the smaller church meetings where an outside speaker is brought in, one who doesn't really know the true conditions of the people in the church, where they are, spiritually and all, goes through his, usually his set sequence of messages that he's been preaching so often for years and years, that type of thing, and then coming to the end of the series and applying the pressure to get people to make a decision or to consecrate themselves or re-consecrate themselves or do this and do that.

Pressure. This results in havoc in the life, and so often people are brought to a decision in this way, and it's surprising that many of these decisions seem very fine. The individual starts off in a very spectacular way, and of course if there's any semblance of a good beginning, these individuals are usually brought forth and brought forward and pushed forward and made a lot of and actually used as an advertisement, and they're taken far beyond where they should be taken at that time, and made much of, and they are given opportunities to speak and all as babes in Christ, and this is very harmful for their development because it's very hard for them to realize about self, because self is made so much of in this, in these instances.

Hard for them to settle down for healthy, plodding growth, but they seem to be very, oh, the dynamic personality type of thing. They seem to be very fruitful, and they go on and on often, but this is very hard on them because it's very difficult for them to ever find out what self is really like under these conditions, and these, this type of conversion, this type of beginning should, will have to be put down as a very poor beginning, very unhealthy, and there's another way this is brought about, and that is when special meetings and all that the people are exhorted to come to Christ so that they'll be happy and so they'll have peace and so that they'll be successful.

All of these promises and things are held before their eyes, and they are, they're brought to a decision by this means. It's a self-centered thing, and they come in to the Christian life, if they really do come in, they come in on the wrong basis of what they can get, and then, of course, when the Lord Jesus, if they're truly born again and the Lord Jesus seeks to develop them later on, where it's for his glory and what he can get, the one who owns them, their life, then they're all upset because they didn't figure on this.

They thought that they were going to be on the receiving end continually. They didn't have to give. They didn't have to sacrifice, so that there's a frustration there, and it's difficult for them to go on.

Repentance, Faith, and a Healthy Conversion

But there is another type of beginning, another conversion, and that is where a heart is prepared, given an opportunity to make up its mind about whether or not to really rely upon the Lord Jesus, an opportunity to see him, something of him in the life of believers, so that what is said is backed up by a life, where they can take their time and watch that life and make up their own mind, and where they are given time so that the Holy Spirit can convict them of their sin and make them realize that they're a lost sinner in need of a Savior, that they really see this and feel this and know this in their hearts, that they're prepared for repentance, returning from their way and turning unto his way on his terms, not on their terms, but really submission to him for their conversion, for their justification, a brokenhearted repentance, and a turning, that is salvation, of repentance, repentance toward God and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

That is conversion. He comes to the Lord Jesus on his terms, realizing that he's lost and that the Lord Jesus is truly the Savior and Lord. Then there is a good beginning also, where the Christian is filled with the love of the Lord and he witnesses and he seeks to win others to him, he wants to share.

A healthy birth will start out with a good, strong beginning also. But there's this difference. After a while, there is a definite slacking in this strong beginning, where the Christian slowly becomes aware of self, aware of the old life within, and he begins to experience defeat in his life.

And he may go to some Christian or Christian pastor, for instance, for help and may confess this to him and tell him that things aren't as they might seem, that he's having a struggle within. And usually, this Christian is given an answer such as, well, you just study your Bible more faithfully and pray more and get out and get busy for the Lord and you'll be all right.

And so there's another round of struggle, another round of seeking to be and to do, but with the same results, because God would have the believer find out about self. He would have him fail. He would put him in positions and conditions where he will fail.

Fail in such a way as to realize that he cannot in his own strength live the Christian life, that he cannot acceptably serve the Lord Jesus Christ, that he cannot be fruitful in his own strength, or even with the help of God.

But he has to learn that the Christian life is not I, but Christ. He has to learn to see that he is a branch, to see it in the Word, that he is a branch in the true vine, and learn to take his place as a branch, his attitude, a reliance, and dependence, and rest, and acceptance, and appropriation, allowing the life of the Lord Jesus to flow free in his heart, in his spirit.

So the difference in these two conversions is that the healthy conversion, there is failure, whereas the other type of conversion, often there doesn't seem to be any failure for years. The Christian just becomes more and more dynamic, and more and more popular, and more and more seemingly fruitful, and all types of claims, of any number of conversions, and decisions, and all kinds of victories.

And it's hard for the Christian who is finding out about self to understand this, and he can't understand, he thinks there's something wrong with him, that he's not making any progress like this other fellow is.

And conversely, the other fellow who is seemingly always victorious, he cannot understand what's wrong with this Christian who is starting to struggle, and who's failing. And he never can understand what he's going through, and neither one can understand the other.

Romans 7 and the Necessity of Failure

But the secret of all true healthy spiritual development is finding out about self through failure. Dr. Schofield wrote, not everyone by any means has had the experience of Romans 7, that agony of conflict, of desire to do what we cannot do, of longing to do the right we find we cannot do.

It is a great blessing when a person gets into the 7th of Romans. And here, most Christians seek to avoid it. A great blessing when a person gets into the 7th of Romans, and begins to realize the awful conflict of its struggle and defeat.

Because the first step toward getting out of the struggle of the 7th chapter, and into the victory of the 8th, is to get into the 7th. The way up is down. Of all the needy classes of people, the neediest of this earth are not those who are having a heartbreaking, agonizing struggle for victory, but those who are having no struggle at all, and no victory, and who do not know it, and who are satisfied in jogging along in a pitiable absence of almost all the possessions that belong to them in Christ.

And that's one reason that Christians seem to be so static, most of them, and not getting anywhere, mainly because they don't realize what they have in the Lord Jesus. They don't realize, most of them feel, well, I'm saved, I'm born again, what more is there?

I'm going to heaven, I'm going to die. And they're not hungry to grow, they're not hungry that the Lord Jesus might be manifested in their life here and now, that others might see him. They don't realize this is possible.

And much of the reason for this is that they don't see enough Christians around them who are abiding in the Lord Jesus, and through whom the Lord Jesus is able to manifest himself. It isn't so much their fault, it's that they've never had a chance.

Feeding Believers and Showing the Reality of Christ

And many of them are in churches where they're not being fed upon the Lord Jesus. Most of what they get are gospel messages or exhortational messages to do and to be and to get busy. And then there's a round of revival meetings to seek to stir them up.

And they're constantly in a turmoil. And all that is necessary is that they be fed and that they have an opportunity to see reality, the reality of the Lord Jesus and other lives about them. That is all that's needed for them to become hungry to grow.

But there's not enough of that in the average church at all. There's too much pressure and not enough opportunity for them to study and to see reality in life. And Metcalf writes, many a young Christian who has not been warned of this necessary voyage of discovery upon which the Holy Spirit will certainly embark him through Romans 7, many a young Christian has been plunged into the almost incurable despair at the sight of the sinfulness which is his by nature.

As a Christian, that we come to see the sinfulness of self. As a Christian 20 years in the Lord, for instance. As a Christian missionary. As a pastor. He has in the first place rejoiced greatly in the forgiveness of his sins and his acceptance by God.

But sooner or later he begins to realize that all is not well and that he has failed and fallen from the high standard which he set himself to reach in the first flush of his conversion. He begins to know something of the experience which Paul so graphically describes.

What I would that I do not and what I hate that do I. Romans 7 15. And in consequence he feels that the bottom has fallen out of his Christian life. And then perhaps the devil whispers to him that it is just no good his going on because he will never be able to make the grade.

Little does he know how healthy his condition is and that this shattering discovery is but the prelude to a magnificent series of further discoveries of things which God has expressly designed for his eternal enrichment.

It is all important for the Christian to become aware of the self-life. It isn't the end of everything. It isn't the worst thing that could happen to him. It's the best thing. And whether we're Christians just beginning to find this out or whether we're Christian leaders and we have Christians about us who are beginning to find this out.

It's important to see that this must be gone through. This must be experienced. If there's going to be healthy growth. If there's going to be the need created in the life where that Christian will press on for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Only the need will enable him and bring him to the place where he is willing to be a disciple. Where he's willing to take up his cross. Where he's willing to be a corn of wheat and fall into the ground.

Sinfulness, Deliverance, and Growth

Where he's willing to be a branch abiding in the vine. Only need will bring him there. And this further thought along this line. Undoubtedly the greatest need today is for some complacent saints to get a personal sense of sinfulness.

It is just here that many well-meaning Christian workers miss the mark in dealing with young believers. They try to keep them happy as justified believers who have been declared righteous. When God begins to awaken such persons to see themselves.

Older believers hasten to cheer them up. Telling them not to look at themselves. The fact remains that they will likely come to see a great deal more of themselves before they become truly happy single-minded saints.

They must first become exceeding sinful in their own eyes as Christians before they will call upon God for deliverance. Well certainly we're not going to become burdened for deliverance until we find out that we're slaves are we?

God has to show us that we're abject slaves to the old life. He has to show us that we actually love ourselves. That we love many of the things of the world. He shows us this and shows us the results of it and what self does to us.

So that we begin to yearn and to seek for rest in the Lord Jesus. To begin to appreciate what he has for us as over against what we thought we had in ourselves. And this is the path. This is the means.

This is the principle by which God causes the Christian to grow. This is what all things are working together for. And it's for good. Down with self, up with the Lord Jesus. He's using all things. He's using our dearest ones in our homes.

He's using those with whom we work. He's using those everywhere. Things and people. Circumstances. He uses our health. Not only poor health. He uses good health. Some Christians get into more trouble because they're very healthy than and have more trouble being healthy than those who are ill.

God can use health to bring about his ends as easily as he can illness. And he uses both. But the thing is that God's primary aim in the Christian's development, his basic and first aim, is to reveal the self-life.

And he does it through everyday circumstances. C .A. Coates wrote, many of us have probably known what it was to rejoice in the grace of God without having apprehended very much of the true character of the flesh.

Of course, the flesh is the term used for the self-life, the result of the self-life, what self brings forth. They call it fleshliness, fleshliness, the flesh. It has often been noticed that where there is the greatest exuberance of joy in young converts, there is often a levity which fails to take into account that the flesh is unchanged.

Well, a young believer, he had a good, healthy conversion, and he is so taken up with the Lord Jesus that he's not aware of self any longer, and he doesn't even think that self exists any longer. That's only natural at first.

In such cases, the grace of God is taken up in a self-confident way. There is very little self-distrust or sense of weakness and dependence. The young Christian is often taken up with his Christian life and his happiness and his joy and what the Lord Jesus did for him, and he is not yet taken up with the one who did the work of the cross.

He's not really fully taken up with the Lord Jesus yet. That comes later, and the inevitable consequence is a fall or a series of falls that gradually bring home to the consciences of believers their utter weakness and the incapacity of self, the sinfulness of self.

That is what God has to do to turn the Christian's heart from self-centeredness to Christ-centeredness. The first law of life, the natural life, is self-preservation, and if we are carnal Christians and living in self, it's going to be a self-centered attitude continually.

We're after God for blessings and experiences that will make us happy and make us effective and all, and it's a self-centered thing. The first law of the natural life is self-preservation, whereas the first law of the spiritual life is to give oneself, to put others first.

Actually, it's death to self, the first law of spiritual life, just the opposite, so that that law really does not go into effect in the Christian's life until the Christian is abiding in the Lord Jesus, until he's free from the law of the self-life, and only the cross can free him from the law of the self-life, the law of the Spirit of Christ.

The Cross as God's Answer to the Self-Life

Hath made me free from the law of sin and death, Romans 8 .2. He cannot get free from the self-centered law until he knows the work of the cross, that the Holy Spirit applies and frees him from the domination of the self-life and its self-centeredness and its sinfulness, and he learns to abide in the life of the Lord Jesus Christ, his new life, and then he is able to live for others.

Then he's able to be a corn of wheat, falling into the ground and dying, that he might bring forth much fruit. Then he's able to be a branch abiding in the vine, so that the fruit of the Spirit might be manifest in his life, the love of the Lord Jesus Christ, the joy of the Lord Jesus Christ, the peace of the Lord Jesus, the very life of the Lord Jesus.

It might be there for others to see and consequently be drawn to him. Evan Hopkins wrote,. How infinite are the forms in which self appears. Some are occupied with good self. They pride themselves in their excellencies.

I think that this is so true in our sound realms amongst fundamentalist believers, fundamental sound believers, that we often pride ourselves with our doctrinal correctness. At least we're accused of that by liberals, modernists, and the world.

There's a smugness there often. We're proud of being right. How infinite are the forms in which self appears. Some are occupied with good self. They pride themselves in their excellencies. Others are just as much occupied with bad self.

They are forever groaning over their imperfections and struggling with the flesh as if they hoped in time to improve it. But the Christian must find out that self never changes. And it's not a matter of struggling and working to be a better Christian and to get self in line so that self will not sin anymore and all that.

Self never changes. And God is not having anything to do with self. God is not using self. God rejects self. He has already rejected self at Calvary, the old life, the Adamic life. And it's not a matter of changing the life at all.

It's not a matter of progressively becoming better at all. It's a matter of an exchange life that we learn to allow the Holy Spirit to apply the cross to the old life and hold it in the place of death.

We count ourselves to be dead and to sin. And then we count ourselves to be alive unto God in the Lord Jesus Christ. And we are branches abiding in the vine, the true vine. We abide in the Lord Jesus.

And we exchange the old life for the new. And then as we grow in grace and in the knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ, there's a development and a progression where it's less of self and more of Christ.

And it's not an improvement. It's a change, an exchange life. It's not that the old life has changed either. It never changes. And the Holy Spirit is not seeking to change it. He just simply holds it inoperative as we learn to abide and rest in the facts and believe the facts, the finished work of the cross.

The self is utterly bad and it's far, it's beyond recovery. It is not subject to the law of God and neither indeed can be. There's no possibility of self becoming good because it is, it has come from the wrong source.

It has come from the fallen Adam. It is the life of the first Adam, utterly sinful, dead in trespasses and sins. And our new life is the life of the Lord Jesus Christ, utterly acceptable with God. All that we need for our Christian life because he is our Christian life.

So it's a matter of the exchange life. The very thing that Hudson Taylor found out probably 20 years after he had been out in the mission field. That lovely, devoted man all his life. He was wonderful as a young Christian, utterly devoted, but yet it took that long for him to find out that it was not to be Hudson Taylor, but it was to be the Lord Jesus.

And you could name any one of the leaders, the great leaders, whom God has used and proved through the years, all the men and the women, that most of them were in their life's work in ministry for 10, 15 years at least.

Out of, thoroughly trained, out of school and in their ministry for 10, 15, sometimes 20 years before they even came to the place where they sought to exchange the old life for the new. They had been constantly seeking to improve the old life, all of them.

And they finally came to see the truth of Galatians 2 .20 and Romans 6, their identification, where it was not I but Christ. After all those years, it took that long. All the failure, all the experiences.

And that's the principle upon which God works with every believer. And there are no shortcuts, no matter what testimonies you hear, no matter what claims you hear. There are no shortcuts. There are no experiences that will do it overnight.

None whatsoever. No matter what the claims are. It takes time for reality. But yet, before a Christian comes to this place to see the exchange, the not I but Christ, he tries every way he can think of to deal with self.

False Solutions to the Self-Life

There's a matter of self-denial. He'll seek to deny himself. And he'll seek to crucify himself. He'll seek to emanate the old monks who tried to get away from it all and get out into a cave somewhere and get into a condition, a position where they wouldn't be sinful, that they thought that they got away from influences.

And yet the only problem was that they took self with them. And they found out that self was right there in the cave with them or up on the pedestal or pillar with them. And there was no use because they were their own worst enemies.

It wasn't influences. It wasn't others at all. It was the self. And so self-denial is not the answer. And then there's a matter of seeking to conquer self and bring it into line. So a Christian will seek to stop doing this and stop doing that.

And he's constantly trimming off branches as they spring out. And even if he could, all he's doing as he trims the branches off, he's simply strengthening the root. He's not gaining anything at all. He's only making self stronger.

So it's not by a matter of conquest. And then there's the attempt through revivalism to going to meetings and seeking to get revived and going forward and falling upon one's face down front and making all kinds of vows and the tears and pleading with God and praying and promising God and making vows, all to no avail.

It's not the way to deal with self whatsoever. And then amongst hungry-hearted Christians often there's a matter of growth. Well, I'll just concentrate upon the Lord Jesus and I'll grow. And that way self will be out of the picture and I'll become a strong Christian.

That's still not the way because self never changes. Self is still there. And the Christian doesn't really begin to grow until self is more and more fully dealt with progressively by the cross. And then today so often there's the the temptation to enter into experiences that are held forth.

And there are Christians who come upon one and accuse them of not growing and not having the blessing, not having the spirit, so to speak. And they claim certain experiences that will solve one's problems and make one a victorious Christian overnight.

But this path of experiences leads to a self-centered neurotic type of existence. There are no shortcuts, no shortcuts in healthy Christian growth. And there's still another effort that Christians so often make to deal with self and to be victorious.

Confession of Sins and Reckoning on Christ's Death

And that is the cleansing. That when a Christian sins he applies 1 John 1 9. If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. And they feel that if they can keep up their fellowship with God in this way and when they sin to immediately confess their sin and their cleanness, which is true, which we are to do.

The Word says we're to do this. But this is not the way of victory. This is not the way of growth. This is simply taking care of that which has already been done. This is simply taking care of the sins which have already been committed.

The damage has already been done. Whatever these sins have been, affected ourselves or this one or that one, the damage has been done. And it's only something that is taken care of after one sins. The Word said if we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

This does not get at the source. This does not deal with self. This is dealing with sins that self produces. And what happens is that the Christian is sinning and then he's confessing and being cleansed.

But then he's sinning again. And around and around he goes. He's not making any progress. He's not growing. He's just standing still and seeking to keep his head above water, so to speak. And that might be existence, but it's not development.

It's not growth. Because it's not getting at the source and self continues to produce sin. This is only God's means of taking care of the Christian when he fails. But God would have the source dealt with, and not I, but Christ, the self-life, so that there is less and less sin committed, less and less necessity for the Christian to be confessing.

There's development. There's progress. And of course the cross is the only element, the only answer for God's one answer to the self-life, the sinful self-life, the work of the cross. And we will go into this subject more fully in our next time together.

Our sins are dealt with by the blood, but we ourselves are to be dealt with by the cross. The blood procures our pardon, the blood cleanses, but the cross procures deliverance from what we are in Adam.

The blood can wash away my sins, but it cannot wash away my old nature. I need the cross to crucify me, the sinner. So there's a great difference between confessing and reckoning. If any man sin, then there is the confessing and cleansing.

But the word goes beyond that, goes deeper than that, gets at the source, that we're to count ourselves dead indeed unto sin, and alive unto God in the Lord Jesus Christ. And that reckoning, that resting in that realm of truth, brings progressive freedom from the influence of self, from the dominion of sin.

And there's less and less sin to be confessed, and the Christian is growing. Not I, but Christ, less and less of Christ, and less and less of self, and more and more of Christ in his daily walk. So actually, the cross is God's one answer.

And the reason it is God's one answer is because he's already done the work at Calvary. The work of the cross is completed. God has already dealt with self. And the only trouble is that most Christians just don't realize that fact.

And when they come to realize it, they begin to get the benefit of it. And here we are again, back to our need for knowledge. We must know the facts. We must know what we have in the Lord Jesus Christ.

We must know what happened to us at Calvary. Every Christian knows what happened to his sins at Calvary, that they were paid for. But every Christian doesn't know what happened to the sinner, what happened to himself at Calvary, the fact that he was taken down into death, that he, in God's eyes, ended there.

His history, his history, his past history has ended in God's eyes. It was cut off at the cross. And now God sees the Christian newly alive, recreated in the Lord Jesus Christ. For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.

And what God sees, we are to see. We're to let him show us that we are now alive in the risen Lord Jesus Christ. He's now our life. It's all balanced upon what we see, what we see in the Word, the truth that we hold, the truth that holds us back to the knowledge.

We're to grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. That is the basis for development, for growth. So in our next time together, we're really going to have to study. We're really entering into the realm of the identification truths.

Hard, hard to see. The heart must be prepared. But we'll share them to see how God will open them up to the heart. And I think it might be good, friends, to mention here that we have for over 20 years been in this ministry of sharing and counseling, mainly by mail, amongst believers.

And we offer to you to feel free to write us about these things that we're studying together. If you have questions and all, or things that you would like to share, feel free to write us at any time. So that we might, there might be a more personal application that we might share things on a more personal basis, possibly something that you might not understand or want to know more thoroughly.

And of course, through the years, we have accumulated quite a bit of literature for growth and tracks and etc. And we'd like to share these things with you as you have need. Possibly you are sharing some of these things with others as you grow, and you might need a certain type of literature for a contact.

And you might not have it or know where to get it. Well, if you were to ask us about that specific need, we might be able to supply it by return mail. And if we could, we'd certainly be glad to. So by all means, feel free at any time to write us that we might have more fellowship together in the Lord Jesus Christ.

We intend to share some more things on tapes, a different series, possibly in the future. We'd like to keep in touch with you in case there are more things to share by tape. And also, if you know of others who might be interested in hearing these tapes, that you might have them contact us, or you might have us contact them either way.

But the main thing is that we're a burden for hungry hearts. We have been for many years. And we would seek to share with all who are reaching out to Him through one means or another. So we'd very much like to hear from you at any time.

Closing Prayer for Growth in Christ

Our Father, we do thank Thee for fellowship in the Lord Jesus. We thank Thee for, we can also thank Thee for all the agony that we have known and even know today concerning the self-life, that hateful Adamic life that Thou art so faithful in revealing to us that we might appreciate all the more fully and yearn more definitely for the Lord Jesus Christ and all of His wonderful life to be developed in us day by day, the exchange life that we learn to hate the old life and to love the new life.