10 Ways to Waste Your Marriage — Don Currin

I would really appreciate your prayers for me in my spiritual walk with the Lord. It's so easy to become so familiar with the Scripture, the promises of God, you know, all the catch words to use to connect with the right people.

And first thing you know, you're operating independently of God. You know, you don't have to trust God anymore. You don't have to be absolutely, completely relying upon him. And so you just start operating, start just going with the flow.

And I don't want to be that way. I want to I want my life to be lived on. This is an American expression, but on the cutting edge of spiritual reality. I don't want to be content with a mediocre. I want so much more.

You pray for me because it's just so easy, you know, just to go with the flow. And, you know, you don't you don't have passion. You don't have the grace of passion anymore. And so, you know, somebody made the statement years ago that leaving your first love is losing your sense of needing God.

And you let that just soak in for a minute. It is so easy for us. To just start operating independently of God, so we lose our need of him. And we never admit it. You know, I mean, if somebody said, how much do you need him?

Oh, I need him with all my heart. He's he's not just my lifeline. He's my life. He's not just my life support. He's he's everything to me. But yet it's so easy to drift into a state of of depending on yourself and not upon him.

OK, so pray for me. You know, pray for me in that area. I, I really need that and. And I need help, you know, regarding my marriage, you know. We I'm not content to creep across the finish line just to creep.

I mean, whether it's my walk with God, my marriage, my ministry, I want to go out in a blaze. You know what I'm saying? They just don't ever want to be content with such things as you have. All right.

The Christian Marriage Must Be Lived for Eternity

If you would today, take your Bibles and turn with me to the book of Romans, Romans chapter number eight. Now, back some years ago, there was a book printed that to me, the content is just absolutely awesome.

So God saturated the book and certainly ministered to countless thousands of people. As a matter of fact, my son Nathan, my oldest boy, he will trace his conversion back to this book. And it's John Piper's book, Don't Waste Your Life.

Seem like a lot of people picked up on that title, Don't Waste Your. C .J. Mahaney had like a message on Don't Waste Your Humor, which was harmless. I mean, didn't grieve the spirit, but he was talking about just the joy of the Lord and how we need to not take ourselves very seriously.

And and then, of course, there was a guy that leaned a little bit toward the charismatic movement, just a good brother in the Lord, though. Paul Bilheimer, who wrote a book, Don't Waste Your Sorrows. So there's been a lot of these books or pamphlets.

Piper wrote one on Don't Waste Your Cancer. So I got to thinking years ago, you know, in the light of of scripture and just my own need of grace in my marriage. And the Lord just gave me some thoughts one day that I wrote down and I've shared on occasion under the title, Don't Waste Your Marriage.

So I want to talk to you this afternoon about the importance of making your relationship once again count for eternity. Those of you that are married, those of you that one day you desire to be married.

This is good preparation for you, OK? So let me begin by saying that Christian marriage is a terrible thing to waste. Terrible. Many husbands and wives refuse to live with eternal values in view. Consequently, their marriages have fallen short, I believe, of what God intended in that relationship.

Now, think with me for a moment. Wasting your marriage will yield a harvest of regret at the judgment seat of Christ. Only eternity will reveal the opportunities that Christians have squandered in nurturing the spirit of their marriage and subsequently bringing glory to God.

What often begins with such glorious promise, if neglected, can produce indescribable grief, if neglected. So you might ask the question, why such waste? And we could give perhaps a partial listing this afternoon, but let me just share with you maybe a couple of major reasons why so many Christian couples today are wasting their marriage.

First of all is neglect. They're just not taking the time to nurture the relationship. Listen, many understand that marriage, their marriage is important enough to need nurturing, but become so preoccupied with the cares of this life that they don't take the time to cultivate that relationship, to build that relationship.

So it's just flat out neglect, you know, it's just indifference because other things take precedence over their marriage. The second reason, major reason, is an ignorance of God's purposes in marriage.

Often we miss, brother listen now, often we miss the bigger picture because we're so preoccupied with only what brings us happiness and pleasure in the relationship that we overlook God's intentions in marriage.

Okay? So this afternoon what we want to do is we're going to take some things that I believe that if left unattended will literally absorb time and resources that we could be devoting toward the strengthening of our marriages, okay?

Marriage as God's Instrument for Christlike Transformation

So first of all, let me begin, and every one of these points will be prefaced with this phrase, you will waste your marriage if, okay? Number one, you will waste your marriage if you do not believe that it is ordained by God to conform you to the image of Jesus Christ.

You will waste your marriage if you do not believe it is ordained of God to conform you to the image of Jesus Christ. In Romans chapter 8, look at the text and verse number 28, and we know that all things work together for the best unto them that love God, even to them that are called of his purpose.

For those which he knew before, he also predestinated to be made like to the image of his son that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. Now, the Bible tells us in Ephesians chapter 1 verse 11 that God is working all things after the counsel of his will, and I might add, not ours, not our will.

He's working all things after the counsel of his will. All things, everything, every time, every season where there's a lack of understanding in our marriage relationship, every crisis, every trial, all forms of declension, all trials and differences in marriage affords us the opportunity to become more like Jesus Christ.

Now, think with me for a moment. God makes no mistakes. If you're married, you're married to the one that God intended. I mean, some people have been married 10, 15, 20 years, and all of a sudden, their expectations are not met anymore, and they say, maybe I just missed God's will, I made a mistake.

No, if you're married, that one you're married to was the will of God for you in your life. No matter how difficult the circumstances, God raised that person up, and in providence, allowed you to cross paths with them, and you are married by divine providence.

Listen, as God's ordained instrument, this is God working to perfect the character of Christ in us, in our relationship. We have what we call sandpaper in the United States. There's fine sandpaper, there's medium texture sandpaper, and then there's that coarse stuff.

Do you ever think that God is using perhaps your mate as his heavenly sandpaper to make you more like his son? This is astounding. Think about it for a moment. Marriage is God's crucible to purify us.

It's what one minister called the chemistry of the cross. There is no likeness to Jesus without a willingness to bring in faith our rights, reputation, and flesh to the cross where self-will reveals itself in marriage.

Here's what I found. When we accelerate in our relationship, my wife and I, when God seems to take us to a crisis, and as a result, the outcome is he strengthens our relationship, it always is very desperately painstaking.

And when the issue comes up, and we talk, and perhaps there's wrangling and conflict involved, but yet, we decide to take the position of death, death to ourself, death to our rights, and we move on. As Alexander McLaren says, you look back and there's always a bloodbath of self-love.

The minute you say no to your flesh and yes to God, the spirit takes the cross of Christ, the influence, the power of the cross, and he works it in you affectionately just to deal a greater death blow to self-love.

Roy Hesschen said, we have no other recourse. Either it's the divorce court or the cross. That's it. One of two decisions, divorce court or cross. I'm walking down a golf course with a pastor many, many years ago, didn't have a wife at the time, but I noticed, I was looking.

You know, and young men ought to look. Young men ought to look for a wife. There's nothing wrong with that. The Bible says, he that findeth a wife finds a good thing. He that finds a virtuous woman, you know, Proverbs 31, woman, you know, I mean, both texts presuppose that the man is looking.

There's nothing wrong to look. But I was looking in those days, and I noticed that this pastor had come to speak at this camp. He and his wife were together, and I noticed they had just a wonderful relationship.

There was just such a mutual respect, just obvious grace. They deferred to one another and complimented one another so beautifully, and so I'm walking down this golf course. I just asked him, I said, Dennis, I said, I noticed that you and your wife, Cindy, all have such a lovely marriage.

I said, what's the secret? And he prefaced his remark by saying, well, Brother Don, to be honest with you, he said it wasn't always this way. He said, you don't realize this, but my wife and I, we were on the verge of a divorce years ago.

Until he said, God allowed us in his grace to encounter the cross. A death to ourself. And he says, now it's a matter of when we have conflict, who can get to the cross first? We make a beeline to the cross.

And he said, I can't tell you how God's helped us. Because you see, God always resists the proud. He gives grace to the humble. Walter Chantry said this, how soon would marriage counseling sessions cease if husbands and wives were competing in thoughtful self-denial?

Think about that. In thoughtful self-denial. Now, here's a second way that you can waste your marriage. You'll waste it if you fail to see that it was designed by God to model the union of Christ and his church.

Marriage as a Model of Christ and the Church

You will waste... Now, listen, we're not just going to give you a lot of theological content this afternoon, it's going to be very, very practical, friends, so don't miss this, okay? It's very important.

It was designed by God, your marriage, to model the relationship between Christ and his church. Ephesians 5 and verse 32, Paul says, this is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

John MacArthur says, marriage is a sacred reflection of the magnificent and beautiful mystery of union between Christ and his bride, his church. Think about it. When husbands live out their responsibility before God in relation to their wives, such as they take their responsibility of protecting her seriously in every aspect of her life.

Ephesians 5 and verse 23, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the Savior. The word there means not just redemptive Savior, not just the one that's purchased us through his death, but the word Savior there, it denotes a protection.

He is the deliverer of the church, the deliverer of the body. Husbands, we're to emulate that. Also, there is love, the love factor. Husbands, as we said in the previous session, love your wives even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it.

And then there's this principle, and man, do I see so many, especially young guys these days, just blow it in this area. I touched on it in the last session, but Ephesians 5, 31, for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, and they, too, shall be one flesh.

There's so many men these days that never leave their father and their mother, always dependent upon them for financial support. They never make a clean break. Every time there's a conflict, a problem in the marriage, call dad, call mom.

Listen, men, by loving your wife sacrificially, teaching soul-soothing truth to her, adoring her with unceasing affection, and lavishing her with love and praise, you show Christ's love for his church to a watching world.

And ladies, by submitting to your husband in all things, Ephesians 5, verse 24, we're not talking about abuse here. We're not talking about psychological abuse. I agree with my brother Paul Washer, who said, there's nothing that's any more soothing than a warm bath.

But some husbands, they take the water of the Word and they use it like a tank of scalding water where they take their wives and they throw them in that scalding water. And here's the picture. They take the Word of God and say, listen, I'm the head of the home.

You listen to me. You don't question anything I do, friend. That is wrong. It is not spiritual. And sometimes it's demonic. We're talking about loving leadership. We're talking about loving our wives as Christ of the church and leading them, not with a rod of iron, but with a loving composure that resembles the Lord Jesus Christ.

But ladies, in submitting to your husband in all things, to submit to him unconditionally, obeying him joyfully and yielding to his loving leadership with unwavering devotion, listen, you too show to a watching world the church's loyalty to her Lord.

You see, think about it, friend, it ain't about you. God's called us as husbands and wives to reflect that model of Christ, how he treats his church and how the church properly should respond to Christ.

Marriage as a Witness to the Gospel

All right. Number three. Another way you can waste your marriage is if you do not recognize that it is intended by God to bear witness to the gospel. You'll waste it if you do not realize that it's intended by God to bear witness to the gospel.

1 Peter 2 and verse 9, but you're a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people that you should show forth the praises of him that has called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

Your marriage, ladies and gentlemen, is a testimony to the power of God. The grace of God makes a husband and wife holy before God and honorable toward one another. Before a lost world where broken marriages abound these days, a Christian marriage makes a profound impact upon unregenerate people.

Now, listen carefully. The question to ask ourself in the light of this principle, does our marriage, are you with me? Does our marriage make the gospel believable to the world? There's a man, I don't know if you've met him, Kevin, you and Zoe, but his name is Waeler Zupke and, of course, Charles Leiter and Mona and Bob Jennings and Terry and just a number of people.

This is a very godly layman. He's a lay preacher. He just, every time he shares about Christ, whether he's talking to you one on one or he preaches, I mean, the tears are just flowing. And he's a precious, precious brother.

But one summer he hired a German man to come to his farm from Germany, to come to his farm and work all summer to help him with all of his farming as well as the crop coming in for the harvest. So their day would begin around three o 'clock in the morning.

And they would go out and they would milk the cows and then they would get things ready for the day. And then they would work in the morning very hard and then they would come in at lunchtime and Lorna would always, Lorna, Waeler's wife, would always have this feast.

Every day was just a feast. I mean, homemade bread, you know, four or five different vegetables, a couple of meats, you know, and dessert and all that. And this German guy, he would come in first and wash up and he would come and sit at the table and wait for Waeler to come in.

And Waeler, you know, would come in and Lorna's still doing a little work over around the stove and he would go over to the kitchen sink and wash his hands. And here he was now, he was like in his mid-sixties, Lorna was in her mid-sixties at the time.

And after he washed his hands, he would come over behind his wife and hug her real tight. And she'd turn around and she'd smile at him. And then right there in front of this guy, this German who was lost, he's unregenerate, right there in front of him, every day, they would kiss passionately.

And they're sixties now. And the guy knew, I mean, they're not putting on a front. I mean, there's a reality to what they're doing. But they would kiss like that in front of this guy, I mean, just seemingly totally oblivious, you know, to what he thinks.

And you know, she would just kind of cuddle up to Waeler and then they'd sit down and have the meal. Well, there was such a profound testimony in that. At the end of the summer, the German guy goes back to Germany and it's interesting that not long after he gets back, he becomes a Christian, a follower of Christ.

A few years went by and Waeler and Lorna Zupke celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. Bob Jennings gave me this email, true account, Waeler would never pass this around, but this is what somebody, some family member got a hold of this and sent it to Bob.

But I want you to listen to what that German man who became a Christian as a result of seeing the reality of grace in the life of this married couple, what he said. He said to Waeler and Lorna, I want to congratulate you on your 50th wedding anniversary.

I clearly remember the first time when I met you. After working, I came in and sat down at the table. Then you, Waeler, came in and you hugged and kissed your wife. I say the truth that I have never seen that before.

A couple being married for that many years, still being in love. I observed the same phenomenon then in other Christian families. Listen, and that was one of the strongest encouragements for me to seriously think about becoming a Christian.

I figured if I become married, I want to enjoy love all the days of my life and not just a few years or months as I had observed in all other marriages. That's good. So I ask you the question before we move on this afternoon, does your lost relative see the reality of Christ in your marriage?

If your children are lost, have they witnessed anything in your marriage that attracts them to Jesus Christ? Number four, another thing that we can do that wastes our marriage is if you fail to see that your companion's character flaws and physical handicaps are God-given ministry opportunities for you to develop a deeper love for him or her.

Serving a Spouse Through Weakness and Disability

Let me repeat that again, it's very important. You'll waste your marriage if you fail to see that your companion's character flaws, whether it's physical maladies or character flaws or whatever, are God-given ministry opportunities for you to develop a deeper and more enduring love for him or her.

I use the reference in 1 Corinthians 7, verse 14, for the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband. And then Paul said, else were your children unclean, but now are they holy.

Now listen, you can't claim that as a promise of God that if I as a lady really live a sanctified holy life, it's going to guarantee the salvation of my husband. That's not what is intended in the text.

And vice versa, here's a man that, I mean, he's totally dedicated, I'm going to short my prayer life, I'm going to be more committed, more dedicated in loving her, I want to live a sanctified life before her, and God will honor me fulfilling a promise that I've claimed from this verse that God's going to save my wife.

That's not what he's saying. But what it does convey is the idea that the way we live, God may use to bring a tremendous impression and impact upon those that we live with. I was so moved years ago when I heard the testimony of Robertson McQuilkin, who was the president of Columbia Bible College, and that school was thriving at the time.

I mean, they were having students just come, and I mean, the school was filling up, and I mean, they had a great faculty, there was just a real sense of God there, and he was at the helm of this Bible school, he was the president.

And in the midst of all that thriving, flourishing in this Bible school, suddenly began to notice signs of a loss of memory in the life of his wife. Of course, it was diagnosed that she had Alzheimer's, and her condition seemed to worsen daily, it was very apparent.

It's interesting, I've got this report here, I want you to listen to just a few segments here of just what God began to teach this man, and imagine how you would feel if you had a very secure position as a president of a school, with all the benefits, with all the securities, the financial package, everything, but yet his decision was, should I leave that and honor my vows to take care of my wife, or should I stay at the helm of this Bible school as its president, and commit my wife to an institution?

Here's what he said. So begin years of struggle with the question of what should be sacrificed, ministry or caring for Muriel, that was his wife's name, Muriel. Should I put the kingdom of God first and hate, quote unquote, my wife, and for the sake of Christ and the kingdom arranged for her to be institutionalized?

Trusted lifelong friends, wise and godly, urged me to do this. Muriel would become accustomed to the new environment quickly, or would she? Would anyone love her at all, let alone love her as I do? I had often seen the empty, listless faces of those lined up in wheelchairs along the corridors of such places, waiting, waiting for the fleeting visit of some loved one in such an environment.

Muriel would be tamed only with drugs or bodily restraints. Of that, I was confident. People who do not know me well have said, well, you always said God first, family second, and ministry third, but I never said that.

To put God first means that all other responsibilities he gives are first too. So he's facing this decision. Not long after that, among other things that he said in sharing this testimony, he said, when the time came, the decision was firm.

It took no great calculation. It was a matter of integrity, listen now. Had I not promised 42 years before in sickness and in health till death do us part. This was no grim duty to which I stoically resigned, however.

It was only fair. She had, after all, cared for me for almost four decades with marvelous devotion. Now it was my turn, and such a partner she was. Listen to what he said. If I took care of her for the next 40 years, I would never be out of her debt.

And so what did he do? He resigned his post. He came home to take care of his mentally infirmed wife, who for the next five to seven years, somewhere around there, he had to care for her, and he cared for her with unwavering devotion.

Now that's Christianity. Brothers and sisters, don't overlook the character defects of your mate or things that they're struggling with mentally or physically, because God in his providence will allow those things to occur just to give you the blessed privilege of ministering to that person in relation to that need, that he might be glorified in the eyes of your children or eyes of those that are closest to you in the relationship.

Receiving Marriage as Divine Providence

Number five, you will waste your marriage, listen, if you view yourself as a victim of wrong choice rather than the beneficiary of a glorious providence. Ephesians 1 verse 11, which I've already quoted, that God works all things after the counsel of his will.

That all things do, as Thomas Watson says, Romans 8, 28 is God's divine cordial working all things after the counsel of his will, but all things working together for good to them that love God. Now, in a recent online poll conducted by Woman's Day Magazine and America Online, they revealed that of 3 ,000 married women surveyed, now listen to this, this is astounding, 3 ,000 women they asked the question, if given a chance to do things over, more than half were not sure they would marry their husband again.

More than a third would definitely not pick the same spouse, more than three quarters of them said that they fantasized about another man other than their husband, and 39 of these 3 ,000 women admitted to constantly flirting with other men.

Think about it, if God works all things together for good to them that love God, he works all things together for bad to those that don't. The reason I read that statistic a moment ago, friend, is understand, I don't care who you're married to, and I don't care how much they have neglected you in not fulfilling your ambitions, your aspirations in the relationship, God makes no mistake again.

You're married to the person that God has chosen for you, and God wants to take you deeper, to develop not only a more intimate walk with him, but also a greater relationship with your marriage partner.

God can take even the worst of marriages and make beauty out of ashes. As Nancy Lee DeMoss says, determined to avoid being allured into the greener grass syndrome ladies, and refuse to reach for the forbidden fruit.

It's easy to say, he's not meeting my needs, she's not meeting my needs, therefore it must not have been God's will for us to marry. Not so, friend. Not so, that's what you assume, but that is not what the Bible says.

Serving Christ Together Rather Than Independently

Number six, you'll also waste your brethren, friend, if you think that you can be more effective for Christ living and serving independently of your mate. Living or serving independently of your mate.

1 Peter chapter 3 verse 7 tells us that we are heirs together of the grace of life. Our marriage partner can lessen the burdens of life, safeguard us from moral disasters, master men, calm the raging storm of our emotions, give us a God perspective on things, and be a refuge from the attacks of the evil one.

I think of the relationship between John and Polly Newton. John Newton, amazing grace author. You know the kind of lifestyle he lived before he came to Christ, and God transformed a very moral man like Augustine into a masterpiece of the grace of God.

And he found his greatest fulfillment sexually, physically, emotionally in his wife and not any other woman. And here's what he said in his testimony. You have so refined my taste, Polly, that nothing short of yourself can thoroughly please me.

I years ago went through a, and perhaps maybe it's almost sacrilege to say this, but I called it a horror of great darkness like Abraham. I've always been prone to melancholy and depression. I don't mean to be funny by this, but I mean sincerely.

I mean I used to say, well Martin Luther and Charles Spurgeon, they got depressed. Until one day I realized that's all we had in common. But I've battled depression. My wife will tell you, my children will tell you that at times I've battled depression.

And I read John Piper's account of William Cooper or Cowper, and then I got a book years ago. And it had coordinated or correlated all the poems and hymns that Cooper wrote with the experiences of his life.

And so I used to judge people that went through depression and say, well they're full of unbelief if they're a Christian at all, but more than likely they're probably not even a believer. I don't believe that anymore.

There's some people that I mean will battle depression until God calls them home. But it doesn't mean for a minute that they're not a Christian. But I was going through a horror of great darkness. I can't explain it.

I'm never going through this again. It's never been this bad. But my children, I think we only had the three oldest kids at the time. And they were little. And three nights in a row, as the sun would begin to set and go down, I was gripped by this debilitating depression.

And friend, I'll be honest with you, I'd go out in my study, my office, and I'd cry out to God, God, what is it? Lord, show me, what is it I need to deal with? Is it a relationship that needs to be reconciled?

Is it sin I need to confess? Is it something I need to renounce, Lord? I'd take authority over the evil one, you know. Maybe it's Satan just attacking here and take authority. I mean, I did everything I could to try to get the darkness to lift, but nothing availed.

And those three evenings, do you know what God used to get me through it? To help me? To give me some semblance of relief so I could sleep at night? Those three nights was the loving embrace of my wife.

I'm a big guy. Tall guy. My wife, she's about here on me. But I would crawl up on the couch beside my wife, and she'd put her arms around me and just pray with me and encourage me and quote to me the promises of God.

And that was the thing that God used to sustain me and get me through it. That was my only refuge. So don't ever underestimate the great benefits of marriage. If you have a good woman or a good man, you thank God for that person.

I think of preaching biblical manhood in Sweden back about a week and a half ago. The illustration, George Whitefield was facing the mob. They had the sticks. They had the stones. They had no other intention but to kill this man.

And George Whitefield's wife sent him a note to the front. And in the note it says, George, play the man. Man up! That's all he needed to reinforce him. To go out there and lift up his voice like a trumpet and show the people their sin and preach the gospel.

Thank God for women like that. Number seven, you will waste your marriage if you fail to understand that answered prayer depends on the honor and reverence you show your companion. Answered prayer depends on the honor and reverence that you show your companion.

Honoring One Another So That Prayer Is Not Hindered

1 Peter 3, verse 7,. Likewise ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, Christian knowledge, biblical knowledge, a knowledge that governs from the truth vantage point, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel, as being heirs together of the grace of life.

That's why that your prayers be not hindered. Think about this. When is the last time, if you're a married man, when's the last time that God supernaturally intervened and did nothing short of miraculous in answering a prayer of yours?

When's the last time? I mean, you couldn't chalk it up to coincidence even though sovereign, sovereignty people sometimes in the back of their minds say, well, I mean, I can't really say that was an answer to prayer.

I mean, I know God's sovereign and all, but I mean, probably it was going to happen anyway. But I'm talking about when's the last time in your life, if you're a married man, that you saw God supernaturally intervene, nothing short of miraculous to answer your prayer?

Could it be that the reason that he's not done that and he does not do it consistently is because of an existing contempt in your marriage? R .E. Torrey said this. If husbands and wives should seek diligently to find the cause of their unanswered prayers, they would often find it in their relations to one another.

There is much of sin covered up under the holy name of marriage that is a cause of spiritual deadness and powerlessness in prayer. Any man or woman whose prayers seem to bring no answer should spread their whole married life out before God and ask Him to put His finger upon anything in it that is displeasing in His sight.

This is huge, brethren. This is huge. Unreconciled relationships, it hinders prayer. I don't know what's going on in the spiritual realm, friend, but God's told us that it does hamper, impede God answering prayer.

Rejecting Carnal Indulgence for Intentional Companionship

So, number eight. An eighth way you can waste your marriage is if you squander your time in carnal indulgences rather than using it to build a more loving and enduring relationship. You say, now what do you mean by carnal indulgences?

We're so obsessed with toys. I'm Paul these days. Get on the airplane. I mean, these are not little boys. These are fully grown men in their 30s and 40s and even 50s. And they've got their cell phone there or they've got their iPad or computer out playing these little games on them.

They get home, you know, and they put in a hard day's work and they feel like it's justified, you know, to turn the TV on, you know, and just delve into all these different amusements and sitcoms and programs on television consuming their time when they could take that time and be cultivating their relationship.

Now, I've got to say this, you know, my wife and I, we sit down in our living room, we turn the TV on sometimes and we'll watch what we call, I don't know if we've got it over here, Hallmark movies. You know, like your pastor, he'll watch, you know, Jimmy Stewart and, you know, it's a wonderful life.

I mean, I can watch a Hallmark movie, can't I? Huh? There's nothing wrong with that, but we're doing it together. We need to ask ourselves the question, how important are our worldly amusements, our worldly pursuits?

Men, listen, is your sports more important than listening to your wife? Is your hunting trips more vital to your welfare than her holiness? Is moving up the corporate ladder more of a significant issue in your life than her emotional welfare and spiritual growth?

Ladies, on the other hand, are your children's needs more of a priority than affirming your husband by giving him your undivided attention and listening to his heart? Your friend's welfare than his companionship?

Or your preoccupation with decor or fashion than his admiration? These things need to be reckoned with. Sammy Tippett, who wrote a number of books, one is The Prayer Factor, he gets away once a month.