TPW #18 | Family Worship and the Decay of the World

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What is family worship? Why is the lack of it the reason our culture is in ruins today?

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Paul warns that evil men and impostors will grow worse and worse, deceiving one another and being deceived.
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The reason Paul told Timothy that was because he needed to be ready to spend the balance of his life in uninterrupted warfare for the truth.
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The most dangerous people alive today are always, always, always ordained ministers.
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They're the most dangerous people in the world, especially the ones that people think are Christians, who will sell you theological poison to the damnation of your soul.
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Folks, I just want to warn you about something. Every heretic in the entire history of the church, without exception, has taught their heresy in the name of being faithful to Scripture.
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That was the day of judgment. That is the day of final salvation, brought back in time and applied to us once for all at the moment of our effectual calling when we repent and believe in our unity to Christ.
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Welcome to the Protestant Witness. This is Pastor Patrick Hines, your host and pastor of Redwell Heights Presbyterian Church in Kingsport, Tennessee, and today
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I'm going to do a program on the importance of family worship. This is a topic that is extremely important.
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I think that the neglect of this discipline of family worship, what the
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Puritans called domestic piety, is really at the heart of the decay of a lot of what's wrong with the church in our country today.
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And so occasionally I preach these sermons and really try to push and encourage men in particular to lead their families and to catechize their children and to do devotions on a daily basis, to read the
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Word of God, to sing together, to pray together, and to talk about the things of God in their homes.
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And so I hope that you will find this to be encouraging. This was the morning service this past Sunday, and then in the evening service
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I did another sermon on family worship just with some tips and practical guidance, but this morning is basically a call.
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The morning service was basically a call to do it and to see the importance of it from Scripture. So I hope you enjoy it.
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Pray for God's blessing on our time in His Word now, please. Heavenly Father, thank you for giving us
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Scripture. Without it, we are lost. Without it, we would not know you.
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Without your revelation, your special revelation in Scripture, we would not know how to be saved.
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And we would not understand our duties in this world. And Lord, this is a sacred duty that we talk about this morning.
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It's one that's been badly neglected for hundreds of years. And we pray,
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Lord, that we would be part of the resistance and that we would stand and obey you in this way.
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We ask in Christ's name. Amen. Please take your Bible and turn to Genesis 18.
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We have three passages we're going to read for Scripture reading this morning. Genesis 18 verses 17 through 19 is the first one.
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Genesis 18 verses 17 through 19. Genesis 18, 17 through 19.
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This is God's Word. The Lord said, shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do?
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Since Abraham will surely become a great and mighty nation and in him all the nations of the earth will be blessed.
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For I have chosen him so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the
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Lord by doing righteousness and justice so that the Lord may bring upon Abraham what he has spoken about him.
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The next passage is Deuteronomy 6, 1 through 9. Just a little bit over there. Deuteronomy 6, 1 through 9.
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Deuteronomy chapter 6 verses 1 through 9. This is
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God's Word. Now this is the commandment, the statutes, and the judgments which the
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Lord your God has commanded me to teach you that you might do them in the land where you are going over to possess it so that you and your son and your grandson might fear the
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Lord your God to keep all his statutes and his commandments which I command you all the days of your life and that your days may be prolonged.
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O Israel, you should listen and be careful to do it that it may be well with you and that you may multiply greatly just as the
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Lord the God of your fathers has promised you in a land flowing with milk and honey. Hear O Israel, the
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Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might these words which
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I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.
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You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
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And then one last passage, Psalm 78, 1 through 8. Psalm 78 verses 1 through 8.
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Psalm 78 verses 1 through 8. Psalm 78, 1 through 8.
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This is God's word. Listen O my people to my instruction. Incline your ears to the words of my mouth.
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I will open my mouth in a parable. I will utter dark sayings of old which we have heard and known and our fathers have told us.
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We will not conceal them from their children but tell to the generation to come the praises of the
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Lord and his strength and his wondrous works that he has done. For he established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers that they should teach them to their children.
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That the generation to come might know even the children yet to be born that they may arise and tell them to their children that they should put their confidence in God and not forget the works of God but keep his commandments and not be like their fathers a stubborn and rebellious generation.
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A generation that did not prepare its heart and whose spirit was not faithful to God.
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May God bless the reading of his infallible word. The great protestant reformation represents the greatest revival of biblical and apostolic christianity in the history of the church in this world.
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The reason the biblical gospel became so widely known and preached was the existence of warriors for the truth who were willing to fight for the one true gospel at all costs.
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The reformation, however, was not merely the recovery of christian doctrine. It was also the recovery of the christian life.
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Gone was monasticism. It was the biblical notion of vocation and calling that replaced it.
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Today we tend to think of what we do merely as a a job a way of providing a way of making money but the reformation recovered the biblical truth that all legitimate callings and vocations all forms of work that serve our neighbor in some way are honoring and glorifying to God.
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One does not need to be a monk or a nun a pastor or a missionary in order to be glorifying
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God in one's work. One of the most important parts of the christian life that came with this recovery of the christian doctrine and christian theology was family life and family worship.
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Marriage was no longer seen as a necessary evil as it had been seen in the middle ages and very much since the time of augustine all the way up to the time of the reformation, but rather as a wondrous calling from God to be married.
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Remember martin luther the former celibate monk wrote rapturously about his marriage and had six of his own children.
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Children were seen as they are seen in scripture as a precious gift and a heritage from the
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Lord. There is in fact an entire array of precious biblical commands that go into effect as soon as a person becomes a father or a mother or a grandfather or a grandmother.
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The reformers and their successors wrote extensively about the need for what they called domestic piety.
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Domestic piety is what the puritans called it also known in our day as family worship. In our age of excessively busy culture both inside and outside the church the discipline of family worship namely doing devotions, reading the bible, praying and singing together as a family has almost entirely disappeared.
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We're too busy and we're too fractured as families to ever be in the same room at the same time to do things like this.
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But many over the past few decades have rediscovered this precious biblical duty through reading their bibles and reading the reformers and the puritans and their successors.
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I would like to suggest to you that the neglect of children by parents was almost single -handedly what led to the apostasy of every mainline denomination in this country over the last hundred years.
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It wasn't so much that they lost the doctrine. It's that they lost their kids. They lost the children.
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They didn't teach them the catechism. In fact, one of the books that I was told I should read in preparation for my ordination exams by the examinations committee in this presbytery was a book about the history of the
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PCA by a guy named Frank Smith. And reading that book he said the reason the PCA needed to be formed is because one generation of people stopped teaching the
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Westminster Shorter Catechism to their kids. And when those kids grew up, they didn't know anything. They didn't know
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Christian doctrine anymore and they didn't care and they allowed their churches to become liberal. So what really led to the formation of this doctrine?
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It was neglect in people's living rooms of family worship. God has uniquely called and equipped parents to disciple their children.
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No other sphere of jurisdiction can do it anywhere near as effectively as the family. Churches have worn themselves out trying to disciple children instead of letting the family do it and they have failed.
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One of the primary reasons we're in the middle of the apostasy and the spiritual decline that we're in today is the neglect of this very thing.
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Family devotions, family worship, family conversation about the bible, about divine things.
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Mom and dad reading the bible to their children, teaching their children our catechism and working hard at staying close to each other and loving each other well as married people and as families.
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A church with strong marriages and young people whose spiritual lives are the priority of their parents and of that church will be the most effective churches at reaching the culture with the gospel.
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Far more so, far more so than ultra busy churches that have a zillion programs that drain the life, resources, and energy out of their people.
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The irony could not be more biting than it is. By the neglect of marriage and family discipleship and family worship, we have lost generation after generation in America and now we're looking at a situation that is fairly grim in the short term.
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I've asked many times where are our kids going to go to church? Where are they going to attend church?
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And where will our grandchildren go to church? The options are going to be extremely limited if churches do not discard their unbiblical ideas and embrace biblical ones now starting today.
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What this Sunday's two messages are about is the second most important thing that I do as a pastor.
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This is the second most important thing I do as a pastor. Aside from preaching Christ and him crucified, encouraging what the
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Puritans called domestic piety or family worship is the second most important thing that I do as a pastor.
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It's the second most important thing that I can teach you from God's word. A husband and a wife who dearly love each other and have a vision and a passion to love each other well, and if they have children to disciple them, that is a powerful testimony to the watching world.
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And for those of you who are single, I urge you to look at the youth and the young people in this church and recognize there is so much prayer that those children's parents and that those children need and so much prayer that they need from you.
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Everyone here is together. We're all part of the same body. We all have the same goals. The children of the families in this church are the children of everybody in this church.
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We're all together in that regard. Pray for all of them. Assault the heavens for their souls.
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I forgot to tell you I have an outline. Sorry. Just anxious to get out of the gate there.
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All right, so that was point one. Here's point two. Okay, an exhortation of the importance of this.
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In the introduction to one of the great reformation confessions that came out of the reformation, there's this very stirring paragraph.
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Listen to this. These pastors that got together that wrote one of the reformed confessions wrote this paragraph. In 1677, quote, and verily there is one spring and cause of the decay of religion in our day which we cannot but touch upon and earnestly urge a redress of and that is the neglect of the worship of God and families by those to whom the charge and conduct of them is committed.
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May not the gross ignorance and instability of many with the profaneness of others be justly charged upon their parents and masters who have not trained them up in the way wherein they ought to walk when they were young but have neglected those frequent and solemn commands which the
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Lord hath laid upon them. So to catechize and instruct them that their tender years might be seasoned with the knowledge of the truth of God as revealed in the scriptures and also by their own omission of prayer and other duties of religion of their families together with the ill example of their loose conversations having inured them, that means to harden them, having hardened them first to a neglect and the contempt of all piety and religion we know this will not excuse the blindness and wickedness of any but certainly it will fall heavy upon those that have been thus the occasion thereof.
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They indeed die in their sins but will not their blood be required of those under whose care they were who yet permitted them to go on without warning.
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Yea, led them into the paths of destruction And will not the diligence of Christians with respect to the discharge of these duties and ages past rise up in judgment against and condemn many of those who would be esteemed such now end quote
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Now notice several things. I know that's older english, but several things to notice about that paragraph The ministers that wrote this did not locate the cause of religious decay in the wickedness of their surrounding culture
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They didn't say man that our culture is just so full of drugs and alcohol and homosexuality and liberal media bad movies gambling and every
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Rather they said the reason our nation is a mess and our churches are a mess is the homes of christians
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Who neglect the worship of god and prayer and catechizing and other religious duties in those homes
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The blame for this is to be laid at the feet of those to whom the bible makes the charge that this is to be done
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It's also not satan's fault or unbelievers fault Those who neglect prayer catechizing bible reading and worship in families in newer their children
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I had to look that that word up and newer means to harden they harden their own families to a neglect of and then a contempt for all piety and religion
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That word in newer means in the noah webster's dictionary 1828 dictionary to cause to accept or become hardened to By neglecting family worship christian parents actually
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Ingrain in their children the neglect of the faith of christ and finally create contempt for it
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Some of the most hardened enemies of the christian faith grew up in christian families A little known historical fact about friedrich nietzsche is that his father was a lutheran pastor
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And when that young little boy was born, he held him up in the air. They rang the church bells
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God has given us a child Praise god. He's going to go grow up and do great things for the lord
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This guy spent his energy his life trying to destroy the faith and was an atheist
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Those who are blind and wicked will die in their sins yes, and they die on their own account But the responsibility for their destruction lies at least partially
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At the feet of those who failed to evangelize them the feet of those who failed to train them biblically to teach them to To love god by example to know his word point number three
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Here are the biblical commands to do it family worship. What is family worship? It is the praise prayer
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And adoration given to god by all the members of one household That's what family worship is
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It is the praise prayer and adoration given to god by all the members of one household It consists of prayer the word of god and singing
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But this must never be thought of in any way as a replacement for the local church and the gatherings of the local church for worship
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Husbands and fathers are the key to the spiritual condition of their wives and their children the scriptures
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Lay that at our doorsteps consistently ephesians 5 23 for the husband is the head of the wife
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As also christ is head of the church and he is the savior of the body First corinthians 11 3 but I want you to know that the head of every man is christ and the head of woman
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Is man and the head of christ is god ephesians 6 4 and you fathers
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Do not provoke your children to wrath but bring them up in the training and admonition of the lord You see how fathers are singled out by the holy spirit of god in scripture
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You are to be the ones who do this bring your children up in the nurture and admonition of the lord the training and admonition
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Of the lord so I have a question for all who are husbands and fathers Do does your wife's and your children's countenance reflect that you lead your home joyfully in the things of god
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Are your children gloomy and sullen in general? What is the atmosphere of your home?
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Like are your wives? Sorry that they're women because of your headship Dads need to be the principal facilitators of family worship
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But sometimes there's not a believing father in a home There's not a believing father in the home the mother has to take up that responsibility that obligation
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Just as the mother and the grandmother of timothy did It's one of the most encouraging things in the new testament
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Second timothy 1 5 paul's final letter to timothy this young pastor paul says when
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I call to remembrance the genuine faith That is in you Which dwelt first in your grandmother lois and your mother eunice and I am persuaded is in you also
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Think about that lois and eunice a grandmother and a mother they read the bible to timothy the old testament to him
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They taught him about the gospel. They taught him about jesus What is family worship
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Archibald alexander the first president and professor at princeton theological seminary in 1812
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He had a son a good covenant child named james w alexander who wrote a wonderful little book called thoughts on family worship
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It's a gold mine. It's a treasure trove of good stuff and james alexander defined family worship as As the name imports it is the joint worship rendered to god by all the members of one household
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So what do you do in family worship if we're supposed to do this and we're going to see biblically we are
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What are we supposed to do in this do we do we print our own bulletins and have announcements and things like that?
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Obviously not arthur w pink also wrote a wonderful article on family worship and he said this quote Worship should begin with a few words of prayer invoking god's presence and blessing
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A short passage from his word should follow with brief comments thereon two or three verses of a psalm or a favorite hymn
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May be sung Closed with a prayer of committal into the hands of god, though. We may not be able to pray eloquently.
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We should pray earnestly Prevailing prayers are usually brief ones beware of wearying the young ones end quote
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And I would add normally it takes about 20 -30 minutes Okay, it doesn't need to be as long as the worship service.
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I assure you of that family worship can be done 20 -30 minutes Sometimes if a discussion gets sparked and you have a long ongoing discussion.
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Hey, that's great You know, I used to tell people at the church in ohio I've mentioned it to you here when it comes to family worship i'm batting about 200
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About one in five is really great and the rest of them you do you do your duty You read the text you talk about it you pray and then it's done
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And then that's what you're supposed to do though. You keep at it. You stay with it Now you might be thinking that's all fine and dandy
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But does the bible really require this of us and the answer is yes the practice of family worship in the old testament.
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Listen closely We see throughout the old testament from noah forward the construction of altars to the lord wherever the people of god lived
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They would consecrate that area their house where they lived to the lord. They would build an altar there
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Which were used to present sacrifices of worship to the lord in behalf of the entire family.
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Abraham did not worship god as an individual Isaac did not worship god as an individual
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It was me and my house when joshua was was pleading with the children of israel
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He said as for me and my house, we will serve the lord. He doesn't say as for me as an individual
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I will serve the lord and hopefully the people in my household will come along It says for me and my house We will serve the lord in genesis 8 20.
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Noah built an altar to the lord in genesis 12 7 Abram built an altar to the lord in genesis 26 25.
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Isaac built an altar to the lord in genesis 35 Jacob steps up and takes charge of his family and issues the command to them put away the foreign gods that are among you
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It's a great thing when a father looks at his house and says, okay, there's too many idols in here
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Get rid of them. We're done with this. We're done with that. This has got to go Job, we're told in the book of job and job 1 verse 5
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So it was when the days of feasting had run their course that job would send and sanctify them and he would rise early in the morning
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And offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all for job said it may be that my sons have sinned and cursed
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God in their hearts thus job did regularly Joshua after the conquest and settling of the promised land at the covenant renewal ceremony in shechem
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Made the bold pronouncement in the last chapter of the book I just quoted it to you as for me and my house
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We will serve the lord david after public services at the tabernacle in second samuel chapter 6 verse 20
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We're told that he returned to bless his household David had learned this lesson well from his father jesse
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We're told in first samuel 20 verse 6 he conducted a yearly sacrifice in bethlehem and the text says for all the family
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The practice of family worship is also right there in the new testament in acts chapter 10 We're told of godly cornelius who was a devout man one that feared god with all his house
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As the leader of his family he knew it fell upon him to say we all serve god together here
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So kids servants everyone that was part of this household we serve god together
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We go to synagogue together. We're going to listen to the word of god together As we already read second timothy 1 5
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Timothy was was the product of family worship lois and eunice taught him the faith
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Second 73 15 from childhood. You have known the holy scriptures Why would someone from their childhood know the holy scriptures because they've got a mom or a dad or a grandparent or somebody
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That's constantly reading it to them Have you noticed your children don't usually have a natural proclivity to want to understand the distinction between justification and sanctification
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To understand the triune nature of god. We've got to teach these things to them We've got to show them by example and by our own
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Study of god's word and reading it to them. These are the most important things you could ever think of First timothy 5 8 but if anyone does not provide for his own and especially those of his household
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He has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever The heads of households are called upon by god to provide physically and spiritually for their households and if they don't the passage says they have denied the faith
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And are according to the word of god worse than an unbeliever worse than an unbeliever
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Scripture everywhere calls upon men in particular to step up and be leaders in their families
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They need to be hard workers self -controlled and have hearts filled with the word of god christ sound doctrine and grace
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It's a heavy duty and a heavy responsibility that god has laid upon men But this is part of the reason why men have broader shoulders and stronger constitutions men have been willing to Abdicate to give up these responsibilities to their wives to the state and to others for many generations now
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And it's time for that to end. It is time for men to stop being effeminate It is time for men to stop being selfish
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It's time for men to put away their silly hobbies and their other interests and devote themselves to studying and loving their wives
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And wearing themselves out in prayer for her and for their children and investing time in their family
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And being students of the bible students of sound doctrine and theology Listen to the beginning of the visible church in the old testament
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This is one of our scripture readings from this morning and notice the way that god speaks of abraham genesis 18 17 through 19
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And the lord said shall I hide from abraham what I am doing since abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation
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And all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him for I have known him In order that he may command his children and his household after him
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That they keep the way of the lord to do righteousness and justice that the lord may bring to abraham what he has spoken to him
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If men want a challenge You want a mountain to climb you want a goal you want a lion to fight in the street.
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Here it is Disciple your family and be really really good at loving your wife
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Make that the thing that you're really passionate about then make that the thing that you really love to do
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Notice how evangelism and the great commission itself is built in To the way that the one covenant of grace is administered.
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The great commission is built into it God does not have abraham circumcised his children so that they would know that everyone born into the physical nation
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Was guaranteed to live on the west bank of palestine. That's not part of this covenant It is that they would know
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The lord and fear the lord and do righteousness and justice and be converted be saved
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They were all to be commanded by abraham to keep the way of the lord to do righteousness and justice covenant
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Theology has always been an organic concept that includes households not merely as observers of the church
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And attendees at church gatherings, but as members of the visible church itself Heads of households must command their children to pray
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How can we command our children to know the lord without prayer? We must command them to worship god
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We say as for me and this house while you're in this house while you're with me here We worship god you will be a participant in the worship of god
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And we command them all along the way to repent to believe to sing god's praises and to honor christ in all things
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This has always been the will of god for believers and their households believers and their children
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There is absolutely nothing about the new covenant that has changed this change the gospel or change the one covenant of grace
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And the way it is administered in the new covenant and let us remember that we command our children and our households
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Not just by what we say not just by what we teach, but we also command them. Please hear me carefully
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We also command our households by our priorities We also command them by how we live what we say
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How we say it our demeanor our attitude and by our actions That which is important to the head of the household will become important to your children
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And if church attendance and participation and the study of god's word are things that constantly fall by the wayside in your home
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Do not be surprised if they fall by the wayside in the lives of our children Psalm 78 we just read it if you want to turn there
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Psalm 78 give ear all my people to my law incline your ears to the word of my mouth
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I will open my mouth in a parable I will utter dark sayings of old which we have heard and known and our fathers have told us
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We will not hide them from their children telling to the generation to come the praises of the lord. You hear that?
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We are commanded to tell the children The praises of the lord and tell them his strength and his wonderful works that he has done
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For he established a testimony in jacob and appointed a law in israel, which he commanded our fathers
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That they should make them known to their children that the generation to come might know them
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The children who would be born that they may arise and declare them to their children
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That they may set their hope in god and not forget the works of god But keep his commandments and may not be like their fathers a stubborn and rebellious generation a generation
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That did not set his heart aright and his spirit was not faithful to god So when I issue this call to disciplers to the heads of households
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To godly mothers to godly grandparents those who would be grandparents soon And durami six one through nine durami six six is really the key verse in that whole text
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It says in these words that I command you today shall be in your heart We're not going to teach diligently to anybody what is not in our heart
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We're not going to teach by example or by our words Something that we don't love ourselves something that is not definitional to our character and who we are
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It is easy to feel overwhelmed, isn't it? How many of you feel overwhelmed now? I do every time I read these passages. I just want to fall on my face and say god help me, please
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You feel overwhelmed by the great duty of discipling a family or another person. It's hard to know where to begin
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But i'd like to suggest that Deuteronomy 6 6 is the key to all of it when it comes to discipling our families, especially our children to follow christ in his word
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We can easily be sidetracked by a whole bunch of things We can be sidetracked by over sheltering from negative influences
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We can be sidetracked by being selfish in our desires for our kids Namely wanting them to be good so that we look good as parents
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Folks, that's idolatry Making a happy home life into an idol Yes, even really godly husbands and godly wives will still fight
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And we'll still get on each other's nerves and we'll still need to confess their sins to each other and to their children
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There's no perfect families rid your mind of that thinking it doesn't happen Also, we can be distracted by feeling like so much of a failure that you just don't try anymore
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And over emphasizing outward behavioral conformity that can be a big problem We're aiming at the hearts of our children, right?
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We want them really to love the things of god not just to conform to it But really to love it to make it their own The key to all of it is always our own walk with jesus christ
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You may be thinking constantly about The waywardness of this child or that child something that you're seeing here that is troubling you or bothering you
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I want to emphasize to you It's just like jesus said seek first the kingdom of god and his righteousness And then all these things shall be added to you if your mind is always on all these other things
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You're going to be distracted You keep your own heart close with christ stay in close communion with christ and with the lord and in prayer our personal walk with god
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Our love for him and our humility and following his word. That's the key to everything else. It's always the key to everything else Nothing will affect our relationships more with others than our own walk with jesus
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Should we be concerned about sheltering our kids from negative influences? Yes, and you're out of your mind if you're not
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Should we be interested in their behavior? Yes, should we endeavor to have a happy home life, of course
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But the foundation of all these things is always the heart our hearts and theirs Many of you i'm sure have read ted tripp's book shepherding a child's heart
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That that title has a lot of meaning built into it. We're not shepherding their behavior We're shepherding their heart.
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We want them to be worshipers of the living god We want them to know christ and to be reconciled to god and to have the same heart desires that we do
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We're not merely wanting to transfer data into their brains like you would transfer a file onto a thumb drive from a pc
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We want to transfer the affections of the heart to our children And we want them to have what we have a genuine walk with and love for christ
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We want them to be saved from their sins. And so we ourselves must live a life of repentance and brokenness before them
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It's okay to admit to your children. You failed in this style the other way because we all fail in various ways Every parent in this room has felt feels or eventually will feel like a failure
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It's just not working I can't get through to them. They're not listening There is a wayward push in their hearts that makes me so depressed
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I can hardly bring myself to pray in front of them anymore I have a biblical piece of advice for all of us who are weary to the bone trying to do this
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Well, here's here's the biblical advice. I would give myself and all of you don't parent out of fear
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Don't do any of this out of fear Do not be fear driven in the way that you live your life trust and obey
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Stay close to god What you can't control Is in god's hands what you can't control is walking closely with the lord and being a person of prayer
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And parenting out of faith and trusting god with it Have a calm and quiet heart
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One of the most precious lines in our book of church order when we baptize our children because they are god's and not ours
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Is this one do you claim god's covenant promises on their behalf? And do you look in faith to the lord jesus christ for their salvation as you do for your own?
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Isn't that so encouraging to whom? Do you look for your children's salvation?
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their free will yourself Who other than christ would we look to for their salvation?
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Who is the sole author of salvation? What is their only hope god who alone can save them god?
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What is the means by which god saved his elect people the proclamation of christ's saving gospel? That's why they need to hear it all the time from us
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When we talk about our own salvation and when we discourse about it in our reformed circles What do we tend to say god showed me mercy god unconditionally elected me god sought me out.
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Jesus sought me out and saved me So I have a question. Why do we act like arminians when it comes to our children?
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People ask all the time should we presume our children are regenerate or unregenerate And my answer is neither
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Here's what you assume god requires you to command them to know the lord that you raise them in the nurture and admonition of the
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Lord as participants and not mere observers of worship at church as non -communicant members of the church
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And as you read god's word to them that they participate in family worship at home that you teach them to read
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So they can read the bible You teach them the word of god you teach them how to pray how to sing god's praises
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You speak of the things of god when you sit in your house When you walk by the way when you lie down and when you rise up and you claim god's covenant promises in their behalf
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That god will be a god to you and to your descendants after you and that you look in faith to the lord Jesus to save them because only he can do so What we are recognizing here is that only god can save them
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But we also recognize that god's administration Of the one gospel before and after the coming of christ has always included households in the visible church as part of the worshiping community
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And that god normally works organically to the faithfulness of parents to their duties and obedience to god's commands
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Family worship and speaking of the things of god is not optional It's not like yeah, we got the annual pep talk.
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So the fires are stoked and we're ready to try it for a couple weeks It's imperative and it's absolutely required at all times for parents
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Never forget that one generation of israel failed to tell their children about the lord and that entire next generation turned from god and served bail
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Judges 2 verse 10 when all that generation have been gathered to their fathers Another generation rose after them who did not know the lord nor the work which he had done for israel
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Share your story With your kids share the ways that you fail share what you've been through in life
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Share how he orchestrated events and brought the right people in your life at the right time and how he saved your soul
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Can you imagine these people of israel? People that that were the the next generation after the ones that witnessed the plagues in egypt walk through the red sea on dry land
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Watch god destroy the armies of egypt who saw the fire and the lightning and the ten commandments
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They forgot to tell their kids about that And yet we have more than them
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We have so much more from god than them. We have the whole new testament We saw the fulfillment of all those prophecies the whole sacrificial system the new covenant all of it in jesus christ
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The fulfillment of the abrahamic promise the davidic covenant the new covenant it all comes together in him and we have him now
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How can we fail to tell our kids about him and what he's done for us? The consistent call of scripture to the heads of households is to teach these truths to their children
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God through moses pleaded He pleaded with the people of israel in the book of deuteronomy right before the book of judges
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After the people took the promised land and they didn't do what god told them to do Listen just listen to some of these passages from deuteronomy deuteronomy 4 9 through 10
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Only take heed to yourself and diligently keep yourself lest you forget the things your eyes have seen Lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life and teach them to your children and grandchildren
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You know who moses is talking to here. He's talking to the next generation Remember what happened to the generation that came out of egypt.
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They all died in the wilderness So this is the next generation and he's begging them. Don't be like them
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Teach these things to your children and grandchildren Especially concerning the day you stood before the lord your god in horeb when the lord said to me gather the people to me
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And I will let them hear my words that they may learn to fear me all the days They live on earth that they may teach their children
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Deuteronomy 11 18 Therefore you shall lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul And bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontless between your eyes
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You shall teach them to your children Speaking of them when you sit in your house when you walk by the way when you lie down and when you rise up That's deuteronomy 11 not deuteronomy 6
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Same exact words. It just keeps coming up over and over again in the book of deuteronomy That's picked up on by the new testament writers
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Ephesians 6 4 and you fathers do not provoke your children to wrath but bring them up in the training and admonition of the lord
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The prophet jeremiah pronounced god's fury upon the gentiles and jeremiah 10 25
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Pour out your fury on the gentiles Who do not know you and on the families that do not call on your name
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For they have eaten up jacob devoured him and consumed him and made his dwelling a place desolate
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God's fury is poured out on families on whole families. Not not individuals, but whole families that don't call upon god's name
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Now finally fourthly this morning An exhortation against fear -driven parenting and to and to love and patience with children
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Jc. Ryle wrote a wonderful little pamphlet a wonderful little booklet I've got a whole bunch of these in my office if you'd like one the duties of parents ryle said this
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Now children's minds are cast in much the same mold as our own Sternness and severity of manner chill them and throw them back
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Excuse me. It shuts up their hearts and you will wear yourself to find the door But let them only see that you have an affectionate feeling toward them that you are really desirous to make them happy and to do them good
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That if you punish them it is intended for their profit And that like the pelican you would give your heart's blood to nourish their souls
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Let them see this I say and they will soon be all your own But they must be wooed with kindness
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If their attention is ever to be won and surely reason itself might teach us this lesson Children are weak and tender creatures and as such they need patience and considerate treatment
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We must handle them delicately like frail machines lest by rough treatment. We do them more harm than good
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They are like young plants and need gentle watering often But little at a time end quote
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We have to exercise the greatest of patience That wonderful fruit of the spirit When it comes to our children, they are going to sin.
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They will not be perfect And why will they not be perfect because we are their parents sinners beget sinners
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When we consider the depth of patience that god shows us constantly how much more are we be ready to overlook our children's failings?
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We cannot expect them to get it all at once remember jc riles line there. They're like young plants. They need gentle watering
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Often but a little at a time And remember arthur pink's line as well Beware of wearying the young ones.
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You can't water plants too much. You'll kill them You know when I was a little kid when I was seven years old, I bought a cactus plant
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And I knew exactly how to take care of it. I took care of that plant until I was 18 years old You watered it once a month had a little mark on my calendar watered it once a month
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And I went away to college and within two weeks. My mother killed it I came home and it was all brown like mom
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That was my cactus that I bought when I was a little kid. What did you do? I watered it like every other day.
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I'm like mom. It doesn't need watering that much and i've always remembered That's the way kids are too you learn what to give each one what they what they need so that you don't
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Do what my mother did to my cactus There's also an ongoing joke in my house because of a gift
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I gave my firstborn child on her seventh birthday very special book I was very excited to give her especially since she was reading well and I wrapped it up and was just beaming to give it to her and she opened it and looked up at me like, huh?
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and the book was 365 days with john calvin Now what seven -year -old would not want that?
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Okay, do you get the the point of the application here? Okay, that's like watering the cactus plant twice a week That's a little too much remember what ryle said a little out of time
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That'll be a wedding present I guess or something like that later Be an encourager of others too, especially family and children
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Don't be governed or ruled by fear You can tell when you're being governed by fear when you're parenting out of fear when you're being married out of fear because you criticize everything constantly
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Everything makes you afraid and so you feel like you got to jump in And run over to it and fix it immediately and and correct this and correct that and then you're just you're just criticizing constantly
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Walk closely with the lord and you won't do that. You won't be governed by fear then Remember where you were at the various ages that your kids are
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Remember where you were when you were that age and trust that god is able to save them and to help them
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To every opportunity to consider what they do well and to give them praise and encouragement for it Hebrews 10 24 let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works
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Proverbs 12 25 anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad Write your children friends loved ones spouses notes of encouragement
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Pull them aside and tell them how much you love them and take the time to speak a good word to them It makes the heart glad that proverb is true of everyone that has ever lived and ever will live and everyone alive in this room
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If someone says something kind or encouraging to you, you remember that A kind word from someone that loves you can make such a huge difference
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That's why god includes such passages as that in his word proverbs 12 25 Far too many of our loved ones, especially our children walk around discouraged and provoked because we're governed by fear
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Instead of faith instead of trusting god because we only notice what they do wrong and we overlook what they do, right?
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A word of praise and encouragement from someone you know loves you will lift their heart and lift their chin as well
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Our spouses our friends our children need encouragement And remember the biblical command that is directed especially at fathers fathers.
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Don't provoke your children to wrath You know the bible never says mothers don't provoke your children to wrath now mothers can do that But this seems to be primarily a problem for dad to provoke kids to wrath
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Matthew henry said this in a wonderful little sermon I need to get a bunch of these and put them out on the table called a church in the house
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It was a manuscript that had been lost for hundreds of years. Someone found this in an old in the archives of some library
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It was a sermon. Matthew. Henry did called a church in the house on family devotions. It's just wonderful. Matthew.
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Henry wrote this quote Countenance everything that is good and praiseworthy in your children and servants It is as much your duty to commend and encourage those in your family who do well as to reprove and admonish those who do a mess
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Please remember that It is just as much a duty To praise encourage and commend the good as it is to reprove the bad and yet so often all we do is reprove the bad
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Matthew henry says and if you take delight only in blaming that which is culpable and are backward to praise that which is laudable
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You give occasion to suspect something of an ill nature not becoming a good man much less a good christian
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It should be a trouble to us when we have a have a reproof to give but a pleasure to us to say with the apostle
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Now I praise you in this as paul said to the churches Most people are easier led than driven
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And we all love to be spoken fair to when you see anything that is hopeful and promising in your inferiors
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Anything of a good and godly disposition much more anything of a pious affection to the things of god
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You should contrive to encourage it You must indeed be careful not to provoke your children to wrath lest they be discouraged and as to your servants
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It is your duty not to threaten them yet You must also with holy zeal and resolution and the meekness of wisdom keep good order in your families and set no wicked thing before their
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Eyes, but witness against it a little lovin lovin of the whole lump Be afraid of having wicked servants in your houses lest your children learn their ways and get a snare to their souls
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Drive away with an angry countenance all that is all that evil communication Which which corrupts good manners that your households may be habitations of righteousness and sin may never find shelter in them end quote
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As we seek to lead our families in the worship of god Let us remember that part of our duties towards those children is to discipline them promptly.
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It is a big part. It's an important part Proverbs 22 15 foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child
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But the rod of correction will drive it far from him proverbs 13 24 He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly
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I've heard every excuse under the sun not to obey those passages about spanking and using the rod
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But the fact is if you are self -controlled consistent and loving in the way you discipline your children for direct disobedience
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You will almost never have to do it anyway If they know you are serious when you issue a command to them and that if they disobey you they are going to get stung
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A little they will learn to attach consequences to their behavior very quickly and they will be happier
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Healthier and there will be peace in your house But self -control is the key If parents discipline their children in anger, then we are teaching those children how to let anger get the best of them, too
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Yes, i've had to apologize for that before and ask forgiveness for that Those who fail to lead their families and family worship those who fail to read and teach the word of god in their homes
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Those who fail to discipline and correct and to encourage their children to see that the word of god
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That we are that we are honoring If we fail to do those things we're honoring our children more than god
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And the families which do not call upon god invite his fury upon them. That's a very stirring prophecy in jeremiah 10 25
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Jeremiah says in a prayer pour out your fury on the gentiles who do not know you and on the families which don't call on your name puritan
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Oliver haywood said this in a sermon quote for your sakes dear friends I presume again to appear upon the public stage to be your faithful monitor to prompt you to your duty
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And to promote the work of god in your souls and the worship of god in your families And I know not how a minister can employ his time studies and pen better next to the conviction and conversion of particular souls
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Than in pressing upon householders a care of the souls under their charge. This hath a direct tendency to public reformation
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Religion begins in individuals and passes on to relatives and lesser spheres of relationship make up greater ones churches and commonwealths
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Consist of families you hear what he's saying Our nation is made up of what families
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Made up of families and what happens in living rooms and christian homes is going to dramatically affect the way a country goes the way a commonwealth goes
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How many pastors or christians today would say that would agree with with haywood? That next to the conviction and conversion of souls the most important work pastors do is pressing upon householders a care of the souls under their charge
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Haywood continues There is a general complaint of the decay of the power of godliness and inundation of profaneness and not without cause
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I know no better remedy than domestic piety When you look at the world around us when you see all of the the collapse of morality the collapse of the family the collapse of our economy
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I want you to think in terms of family worship can cure that Domestic piety a strong marriage a
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Me loving my wife and making her happy and loving my children that can really change that puritan thomas brooks
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Wrote a wonderful sentence a family without prayer is like a house without a roof Open and exposed to all the storms of heaven
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A family without prayer is like a house with no roof Open and exposed to all the storms of heaven
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God has called you in this church Whether you're a parent or a communicant member of this church, which has so many covenant children in it
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To have a burden for their salvation everyone in this room is to have a burden for the salvation of the rising generation there's a book about the life of Increase mather.
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I love that guy's name increase mather He's known as the last american puritan and we read these words that talk about increase mather and his prayer life for his
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I think he had 12 children Quote he worried endlessly over his children And frequently recorded in his diary as prayers for one or another of them
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Here's an entry from increase mather's journal After I had prayed as I was in my garden and had this soliloquy
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God has heard my prayer for this child God will answer me and the child shall live to do service for the lord his god and the god of his father
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My heart was melted before the lord which meltings I think were the work of the holy spirit And therefore
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I am not altogether without hope that this child shall be blessed and made a blessing in his generation
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Amen, oh god in christ. Jesus. Amen in speaking thus tears gushed from before my eyes to the lord
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I trust prayer and faith shall not be in vain. Oh, I have prevailed and obtained mercy for my poor children.
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Amen Lord jesus end quote The great charles spurgeon said this
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Family prayer and the pulpit are the bulwarks of protestantism He's right
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Family prayer family worship and the pulpit the proclamation of god's word That's the bulwark of protestantism, which is to say it's the bulwark of the faith
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Spurgeon continues depend on it when family piety goes down the life of godliness will become very low
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In europe at any rate seeing that the christian faith began with a converted household
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We ought to see after the conversion of all our families and to maintain within our houses the good and holy practice of family
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Worship end quote You see this all the way through the greatest churchmen the greatest preachers
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The greatest pulpiteers the greatest theologians and writers have all said this they've all said it as repeatedly and emphatically as they can
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This is the key to the future family worship domestic piety And so my final words to you this morning
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Don't be ruled by fear parents I'm saying that primarily to myself And those of you who aren't married and don't don't have children don't be ruled by fear either
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No matter what you've done or haven't done with regard to the duty of family worship and domestic piety It's never too late to do the right things
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It's never too late to do the right things and never let satan tell you you're too much of a failure to start today
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You're not God is ready to bless your steps of obedience. He is not a harsh taskmaster.
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He delights in our efforts Don't be governed by fear walk by faith Obey these passages we've covered and look to jesus to save your children for only he is able to do so.
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Let's pray Our god and father we thank you for the scripture that corrects and rebukes
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Teaches us instructs us on righteousness And lord, we need to be more righteous in this regard
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Help us to be more faithful and speaking of the things of god to our spouses Well, we pray that you would help children husbands and wives
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To be more receptive to one another to never mock or downplay efforts to change
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We pray that men will be encouraged by their wives to be good leaders that children would sincerely
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Be thankful when their parents teach them the word of god and tell them about the gospel And teach them what it is to live a godly life
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We pray lord for the salvation of all of our covenant children We pray that we'd be faithful as husbands and wives and as singles
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And remembering the rising generation that all of us need to have a burden to pray for them That they too would put their hope in god and not forget the works of god