Consumers or Disciples? — Michael L. Brown

On a Sunday, I had a very unusual traveling schedule over almost a three-month period. It's about one Sunday I was here. That was during the missions conference. Of course, we're constantly involved with what's happening in the body and praying and working together to see God's kingdom advance here.

But as I was really praying and looking at my schedule for the new year and for things that are on our heart for this region for the new year, I really felt God directing me to be home much more than normal, kind of the exact reverse of what's been.

And just to pour in on the home base even more. And we believe as we've prayed and sought the Lord that for the beginning of the new year, the first five weeks or so, we wanna bring key foundational messages beginning right January 1st, key foundational messages for the life of the body in particular in terms of what God's called us to do as a people here in this region.

And of course, the rest of the year, each time we gather there are key messages and themes that God will be speaking. But I just wanna share that in advance and let you know that what's on my heart today is another one of those foundational things that's just part of who we are.

So glad that you're here to receive it. Let's pray. Father, I ask you to open our hearts and minds. I ask you to write these words within us. Lord, may this be part of our spiritual DNA to the extent this is your word and your heart.

May it be written on our hearts, Father. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen. Luke chapter 14. About a year and a half ago, I was preaching in Canada at a service. During the meeting, God laid some points on my heart concerning a theme.

I touched on this in different ways but never quite hit on this exact theme. The message is called consumers or disciples. Consumers or disciples. And in a way that's appropriate for fire, I want to expand on that today.

Luke chapter 14. Large crowds, this is verse 25. Large crowds were traveling with Jesus. Now, just to stop there for a moment and say that he came during his time before his death on the cross to teach and to preach and to heal.

He cared about the masses of people. But we see here from his teaching and attitude that he was absolutely not out to please people but rather please his father. This was a messianic movement. And in the thinking of the day, what his disciples were really expecting, even though he talked about dying and going to the cross, they didn't really get it.

And I'm sure they must have been very excited when great crowds were following him. We all like it when the thing that we believe God's calling us to do seems blessed and lots of people are attracted to it.

And ultimately around the throne of God, there will be a massive crowd that no one can number from every tribe and tongue and people and nation around the world. But there is something about people just being attracted in carnal ways, being attracted because of miracles, being attracted because of good teaching, being attracted because of exciting music, being attracted because of just different cultural things.

And a crowd can draw a crowd. Jesus was not interested in just having crowds. And he does this several times in the gospels at what seemed to be the most inopportune moments, he comes with a radical teaching.

Just when it'd be nice to kind of stroke everybody and give them a soft message and just build them up and make them feel good about themselves, look at what he says. Large crowds were traveling with Jesus and turning to them, he said, if anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters, yes, even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.

And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. Suppose one of you wants to build a tower, will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it?

For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him saying, this fellow began to build and was not able to finish. Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king, will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with 10 ,000 men to oppose the one coming against him with 20 ,000?

If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.

Now amazingly, when you get into the next chapter, just a few more words of teaching and then you get into the next chapter the way it's written here, it shows his extraordinary compassion as the great shepherd going after the one lost sheep.

And yet there is a carnal approach that is completely destructive to the gospel. There is a carnal mentality and a carnal method. Churches of North America and other parts of the world are filled with it today, are dominated with it today.

It is a flesh orientation that bypasses the cross. And Jesus was not out just for crowds, he was out for disciples. And I wonder what his disciples were thinking when they heard him teaching like this.

I mean, I just like to wonder about it. Sometimes you think Peter and maybe some of the others there, they're getting the crowd. Come on, plenty of room, come closer. He's gonna start teaching about five minutes, about five minutes.

You ever heard him teach? You never heard Jesus? Woo, you are in for a treat. Have you ever seen the miracles? You've never seen the miracles? Stay close, you don't know what's gonna happen. I mean, it must be pretty exciting.

You're with Jesus and what's he gonna do next? And you're just, you know, you're standing there listening and he shouts out, if anyone comes to me and doesn't hate his father and mother what, Jesus, wrong sermon, wrong timing.

This is the, now's the time to say, you guys look beautiful. I can see destiny all over your faces. I mean, that's the right time to give a message like that. And, you know, people struggle with this so much.

I've often heard it said that if you'll study this in Hebrew or Greek or Aramaic, that you'll see the word hate actually means love less. You know, first thing, common sense would tell you that doesn't make a lot of sense.

You know, to take a word as radical and extreme as hate, use it just to mean love less. The second thing, if you'll study this, if you'll study it in Hebrew, Aramaic or Greek, you'll see this love less concept is a myth.

Normally the ones who say that are the ones who can't study it in Hebrew, Aramaic and Greek. That's why they come up with such farfetched ideas. By the way, hate does not mean here despise in the sense of I hate your guts.

You know, when you go home and you see, sir, you go home and see your wife and look her in the eye and say, I just heard Jesus teach. I'm gonna be one of his disciples. I want you to know you're ugly and I despise you.

And then she turns to you and says, I regret the day I ever saw you. Ugly does not describe you. You're foul. Praise the Lord, we're following Jesus. Listen, this is contrary to everything that he teaches everywhere else and every example that we have.

But we know that hate in other places can mean clearly and utterly and totally reject in terms of any other claim, any other hold, any other allegiance that's gonna stop you from following me, you're gonna have to let it go or you can't be my disciple.

For years, I read this as if he was saying, I won't let you be my disciple. And I'm sure there's truth to that. But the statement is not, I won't let you, but you can't be. No, it's not gonna work. It's not possible.

It's like someone that you walk from your car into the building 20 feet and you're ready to collapse from exhaustion and your heart's ready to beat out of your chest, you're so out of shape. And then you tell me, I'm gonna run the New York City Marathon.

And I tell you, you can't run the marathon. You can't. No, anyone can enter. Correct, anyone can enter, but you're not in shape. You can't do it. He's saying if there's any other tie you have, any other hold you have, any other allegiance you have, he says plainly elsewhere, whoever loves father or mother, son and daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

He wasn't bowing down and groveling and just trying to get a few people to like him. He's the son of God, the glory of his father. He's about to lay down his priceless life for our salvation. He doesn't have to make deals with us.

It cheapens who he is. It degrades who he is. It degrades the message when we have to try to make carnal deals to get people to come in. Consumers are disciples. Consumers are always shopping around for the best deal at the best price.

That's the consumer mentality. More for me at less cost. Isn't that right? Disciples are servants, not living for themselves, but for the will of the one who sent them. Consumers are concerned with their needs and their desires.

Disciples are concerned with the needs and desires of their master and teacher. It's a total different orientation. Fire is not a consumer-friendly church. Hopefully, if God calls you to be part of us, you'll be ministered to and strengthened.

Your kids will be nurtured. Your family will be watched over. You'll be built up. You'll have times of worship. You'll be edified in the word. You'll be equipped and strengthened to go out and do the work of ministry.

Hopefully, what we do, we do with excellence, is unto the Lord and to serve others. But the goal is not to get more consumers. The goal is to produce disciples for the master, people of like heart. What's the use?

Listen, if Jesus didn't just try to get crowds, and I believe ultimately we'll have several thousand in our community, in school, in the things God's called us to do, and the missionaries that have been sent out from us will multiply and works will be planted all over the world, and there'll be thousands and tens of thousands of lives and hundreds of thousands that we're able to touch and millions, literally, that we can impact for the gospel.

But crowds for crowd's sake is absolutely self-defeating. If Jesus saw through it, then why can't we see through it? Consumers are focused on saving their lives. Disciples joyfully lose them, finding the meaning of life and becoming like and pleasing their Lord.

Consumers base everything on personal benefit and comfort. Disciples base everything on effectiveness and impact and obedience and loyalty. You know, there's some articles that have been written in Christian magazines recently about, quote, when Walmart comes to town, meaning when a megachurch sets up, when a well-known speaker comes into town and sets up church, all the smaller churches close down.

I mean, it happened with one prominent man. I'm not saying he wasn't led by God. I'm not his Lord or master. I'm not saying what he should or shouldn't do. Just talking about a phenomenon that when one anointed brother set up shop in a particular city, almost 200 smaller churches shut down because the people from there went flocking to the big place that could do everything well.

Now, maybe God raised him up and maybe God shut the others down. I don't know. Or maybe part of it is our consumer mentality. Maybe part of it is just going where we like it best and feel best and enjoy it best as opposed to where God's calling us so we can be in his service and be world changers, be part of a group of people that has an impact for Jesus.

Some years ago when I wrote the book, It's Time to Rock the Boat, I made some statements. I wanna share some of them with you. God's people are called to rock the boat. We are not called to coexist with this sinful society.

We are called to confront it. We are not called to a life of comfort. We are called to a life of conflict. Following Jesus does not mean catering to our selfish desires. It means crucifying them. Are we ready to walk in the Savior's footsteps?

Remember the world hated Jesus. He made people uncomfortable. He exposed sin. He rebuked unrighteousness. He would not compromise. He would not hold back. And he was nailed to a cross by a godless world.

Why should it be any different for us? He was rejected. We wanna be respected. He was regarded as radical. We wanna be recognized as reasonable. He was accused of having demons. We are acclaimed for having degrees.

He was put out. We long to be taken in. He put no stock in the praise of man. We thrive on it. Is it any wonder we make so little impact here for him? In this book, I wrote a chapter called Connoisseur Christians and a Gourmet Gospel.

And just talking about how soft we are and how when preaching or teaching gets under our skin and begins to challenge us, when following Jesus is gonna cost us something, when we're called to take up the cross, we go somewhere else where it tastes better, get some nice little dainties that'll satisfy us.

One of the Puritans said this, he that thinks to please men goes about an endless and needless work. A wise physician seeks to cure, not please his patient. Another Puritan put it like this. Ministers are not cooks but physicians and therefore should not study to delight the palate but to recover the patient.

So let me give you the Connoisseur Christian, the consumer approach to people in scripture. Here's how the consumer looks at, how the Connoisseur Christian looks at some people. For example, John the Baptist, John the Immerser.

This would be our counsel as North American consumer Connoisseur Christians to somebody like John. This is our evaluation, too harsh. I hate to say it but this guy arrived late on the scene and his parents, well, let's just say they never put him in his place.

They were so happy to have a kid of their own they catered to his every whim and fancy. That's why he always thinks he's right and the whole world is wrong. That's why he's so sure that he's the chosen messenger, something about being the forerunner of the Lord.

It's typical of the only child syndrome. They think everything revolves around them. I mean, we'd have it analyzed, we'd have it figured out. You know, I don't even feel sorry for John even though he's in prison.

After all, he asked for it. Who told him to meddle in the king's personal affairs? He would have been better off just sticking to his behold the Lamb of God sermon. That was good preaching. Mark my words, 20 years from now, when he's married and has a grown family of his own, he'll be a lot more mellow.

Some things just take time. Or maybe Jesus, how would we counsel Jesus? It's too radical, too radical. He makes totally unrealistic demands. I mean, come on, just if we preach out of the words of Jesus for a while or Bob Gladstone keeps preaching his Jesus sermon and brings us in contact with the Son of God and what his message is, for most years today, that's a little extreme.

That's a little too far, over the top, cult-like. He tells people if they wanna be his disciples, they have to leave everything, deny themselves and take up their cross daily. He's obviously not a family man.

He orders people to hate their parents. He tells them if they don't love him more than them, they're not worthy of him. It's clear he doesn't have a shepherd's heart. I hear he once called a needy Canaanite woman a dog and he was totally insensitive to his son grieving for his dad who had just died.

He said, let someone else bury your father, you come after me. To judge by his followers, he's not very deep either. Only the fishermen, tax collectors, political activists and prostitutes seem to be impressed by him.

The religious leaders know better. He's so undignified too. He spits when he heals people. He talks out loud to demons and actually touches lepers and corpses. Worst of all, he has this death fixation.

He keeps talking about being crucified in Jerusalem. If he's not careful, he's gonna find himself in a heap of trouble pretty soon. Jesus, take it from me. If you get some good seminary training under your belt, tone down your message and quit offending your spiritual elders, you'll live a lot longer.

Think of how many more people you could help if you could avoid a premature death. Think of all the people we could help if we could only have it our way. Listen, I know this sounds exaggerated, but if you just translate most of what you hear on the airways and most of the counsel in terms of how to build church and how to grow church and how to succeed in ministry and just apply it to the words of Jesus, it's not gonna sound much different than that.

Listen, fundamental, start here. If we're gonna follow Jesus, we have to take up the cross, we have to die to this world, and we now live to do the will of God. And our whole perspective on life, on this world, on what matters and what counts, it all changes.

Our priorities change, our emphasis changes. We live in this world like other people live, but we have a different purpose. When Paul writes in 2 Corinthians, the fifth chapter, and when he says, if anyone's in the Messiah, if anyone's in Christ, he's a new creation, old things are passed away, everything's become new.

He's not just talking about enjoying new life in Jesus. He's also talking about a whole different perspective. He says, that's why we don't regard anybody anymore from a worldly point of view. We see them differently, we're in Jesus.

Our whole thinking in life has changed. Everything has become new. Listen, unless we can take hold of these basics, unless these things are foundational to us, unless we understand that we are now under orders to a king, to a Lord, to a master, as Paul writes in 1 Corinthians six and 1 Corinthians seven, we're not our own.

We've been bought with a price. What he writes in 2 Corinthians five, that we've died with Jesus and we no longer live for ourselves, but for him who died for us and rose from the dead. In Colossians three, that says we've died and our lives are now hidden with the Messiah and God.

Unless we embrace those foundational truths, how are we gonna impact this generation? If we have light and we see things that are wrong in other places, it's not so that we judge and criticize and attack, it's so that we apply it to ourselves and seek to live differently.

And don't repeat the same error that we see. If we see that for at least one generation, maybe two, instead of the church changing the world, the world is changing the church. The question is, how do we do differently?

How do we live differently? What's it gonna take? If we just assume because we're fire or because we go to a certain place or we hear certain messages or we do things a certain way, that that's gonna do it, it won't.

It takes a determined effort. It's a war. The devil's been around for a while. The world is very experienced. It takes a determined effort in God to live differently than others. I watched as God poured out his spirit in a church where we were with the Barrys and some other friends over 20 years ago.

I watched some of my closest friends turn against what God did and remain separated from us to this day. And I had read about it historically. And as a Jew, I was aware that my own ancestors, the majority of them, the national leaders, rejected the Messiah when he came and prayed and waited long for them, rejected him when he came.

Then in the midst of an outpouring, I saw people pray and look for God to come. And when he came, it was too intense, it was too costly, and some turned against it. And from that point on, my attitude has been what makes me think I'm right?

How do I know I won't do the same thing? That's the only safeguard I can find. The moment we think, hey, we're gonna be different, we've made it, we're this, we're that, then we're deceived. Then we settle into self-confidence and self-righteousness and arrogance.

Rather, we cast ourselves before God. How do we know that we'll fulfill the purpose of God for this generation? How do we know that we as individuals and we as a body and we as a school of ministry and a missions organization, whatever else God's called us to do, how do we know that we'll really bring about change through the gospel?

How do we know that we'll really maintain the standards that he's given us? How do we know that we won't walk away from our first love? How do we know that we haven't walked away from it already? It takes a self-examination and a going back to God and being ready to hear correction and being ready to be corrected and rebuked by the Spirit of God and not just patting on the back all the time.

It says in Proverbs 27, that open rebuke is better than secret love and that the kisses of an enemy are profuse but faithful are the wounds of a friend. We need to be open to God and say, Father, we just wanna please you.

We know you love us, we know you're with us. We know, God, that you have great things in store for all your people who set their hearts on you. We're not concerned about that. We're not worried about that.

But Father, we don't wanna let you down. We're not concerned about God's end of things. But we wanna be faithful. Do we wanna grow? Yes, but not just so we can have more numbers and have more numbers and feel better about ourselves and have more numbers and have more money to do more things.

For what purpose? It all has to go back to the attitude. We're disciples of the Master and we're here to bring about change. Certain fundamental things we emphasize. We say, before there can be revolution in society, talking about a spiritual and moral and cultural and kingdom revolution, before there can be revolution in society, there has to be revolution first in the church.

And we say some of the fundamental ways it has to happen, we have to change our thinking. Instead of going to church, our attitude is being the church. So we come together for corporate gatherings. We come together in homes and small meetings and large meetings to edify one another, strengthen one another, worship together, pray together, hear the word together, exhort, encourage one another.

We do all those things, pray together, et cetera. But just saying those words, while our emphasis is on being the church rather than going to church, just because we say it doesn't mean we're doing it.

We could still get in the same habit. We could still get in the same rut. Everyone that feels joined here, you should be plugged in somewhere, somehow, beyond coming to a corporate meeting, beyond going to a small group meeting.

There should be some area of service, some area of giving, be it in prayer, be it in witness, be it in standing up for life in the community for righteousness, some area where you're saying, here I am.

You say, my schedule is 100 filled just from when I get up to when I go to sleep between kids and family and work and other commitments. I understand that that's how it is for many, but there are ways that God can give you to still have the mentality.

I don't just go to religious services. I don't just go to meetings. I don't just exist. I'm not just trying to survive. There's a divine purpose. It's just mentality, it's attitude. You know, we say another way there has to be revolution in the church is that we smash the clergy-laity distinction.

Leaders play a clear role in Scripture. There's much that Scripture says about leaders and their role to equip and watch over the flock and strengthen the flock, and at times, correct. They're key roles that leaders have, but the clergy-laity distinction is absolutely unscriptural.

The clergy-laity distinction says you have some who are clergy and they do the work of ministry. Okay, so we don't wear collars and we don't wear special outfits and we don't use special titles, but the fact of the matter is we can still have that mentality that a few people do the ministry, and quote, doing the ministry means either being on the worship team and singing or standing up here and preaching or getting to be part of a special prayer team, whereas doing the ministry is out of here.

If our big emphasis is on what happens here once or twice a week, we're missing the point. If our big emphasis is just what happens in a home group meeting in and of itself, we're missing the point. Somehow, we have to just take hold of this, being part of the Jesus movement, going into the world to bring about change.

You say, man, I've been trained in school, I'm a grad, what can I be doing? Do something, something is always better than nothing. You know, just listen, if you're faithful and little, God will give you much, and to prove faithfulness takes more than one shot, one time, and the more you sow and the more you cry out and the more you say, but there's gotta be more, there's gotta be more, and the frustration turns to desperation, you'll have a breakthrough.

Man, there's so many lost people to be touched, just get on an evangelism team. There's so many babies to be saved, just stand with our teens in front of an abortion clinic, just say, man, I gotta get involved, I gotta do something, and I'm gonna do it faithfully, I'm gonna do it regularly.

There's so many needs, just if you can be a faithful intercessor, you can be a world changer. There's no reason for anybody to just be sitting back unless you've been through tremendous trauma and you're just in a recovery healing process, in which case, let us love on you and help you, put our arms around you and get you back to health, but then do something.

We're all called, every one of us, listen, aren't we all equally branches of the vine? Isn't every branch called to bear fruit? Isn't every branch called to bear much fruit? Isn't every branch called to bear much fruit that will remain and give glory to the Father?

It's not just the clergy are part of the branches. And the laity, they're like the leaves, or the grapes, the little grapes at the end of the branches. Every believer is integrally joined with the vine.

Every believer is a member of the Messiah's body. I guess I'm like this, the sole, the undersole of the foot, you know, it's like. Well, if you are, you play a very important role. You better get your life together because you're supporting the rest of us.

It's not just, you know, the mouth, that's clergy. The hand, that's clergy. You know, whatever we like, whatever seems dynamic and powerful. And the, I'm like, what do you call the lines that come out from the nose?

Like, we don't even know what those are. That's what I am, I'm just like laity. And we degrade and diminish them. Listen, every single one is called to be a priest. Has to infuse us. There's even teaching today about kings and priests that has certain truth to it, but certain error with it.

You know, the kings and priests are that, you know, the priests, that's like the pastors and the spiritual leaders. And the kings, that's like the business people. And let the business people worry about the money.

And let the spiritual people worry about the things of God. Well, first we shouldn't worry, anyway, wrong terms there. But, you know, let one take care of one thing, one take care of another thing. There's a certain aspect of truth in that those that are called to the ministry of prayer and the word should be able to focus on that.

And those that are called into other aspects of the community and society should focus on that. But there's a wrong way of thinking if we forget every one of us is called to be a priest. And the ministry in the workplace is just as important as the ministry in the prayer room.

And the ministry in the home is just as important as the ministry from the pulpit. And the ministry in the church is just as important as that. See, we can take that and just all coast. So I work my job, I raise my kids, you preach your messages.

Or we can say, I'm a servant of God. I'm a minister of the gospel. I'm a priest, I'm a priestess of the king. How can my light shine? How can I make a difference? How can I bring about change? And the less outlet you have, the more frustrated you should get in the flesh so that it turns into prayer and fasting and seeking God for breakthroughs.

We're disciples. How do disciples think? How do disciples live? I've often said this, but just to repeat it, the Great Commission is not a call to go and make Christians. And the word Christian, for those that don't know, it occurs just three times in the entire New Testament.

Acts 11, Acts 26, 1 Peter 4. And Christos in the Greek-speaking world did not even mean anointed one to them. Jewish people understood that. Jews that spoke Greek and knew the scriptures, but your average Greek-speaking person, that was just a name.

That's why some of the early writers mistook it for Christos, just another name. Didn't have any meaning to them. So to call these people Christians was just an insult. These Christ ones. Be like calling people that followed me Brownites or something like that, or Volkites, or Kava, Kavaites, Altites.

Altites, that sounds like a new brand of instead of the relaxed fit pants, now the Altites. Altites, right. We can even make that into a mint. You understand, it was just a name, just an insulting name.

And today in American society, what does it mean to say you're a Christian? Not much, not much. Most people think they're Christian. You know, our friends from Belgium will appreciate this. You know, I learned some years ago about Belgium being one of the least evangelized countries in the world, having one of the smallest, in particular in Europe, one of the smallest born-again Christian populations in the world.

I was flying overseas one time and going by way of Brussels in Belgium, talking to a guy from Belgium, a worldly unsaved guy, and stupidly, I thought that his perspective would be the same. I just started talking to him, I told him there's not a lot of Christians in Belgium.

He looked at me like, what are you crazy? His mind, it's a Christian country, right? Catholic and all this. You know, what does it mean to say I'm a Christian? Not a whole lot in today's society. And the Great Commission is not to go and multiply Christians.

Yeah, in the Muslim Hindu world, it may mean more to say that, but I'm just saying, that's not the emphasis. Even believers, which occurs 26 times in the New Testament, 13 times just in Acts. Okay, that's a good word.

Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved. Without faith, it's impossible to please God. Yes, it's foundational and important, but the Great Commission is not even a call just to go and make believers.

And even in American society, what does it mean to say I'm a believer? I mean, we're religious people, you know, and we're superstitious people. What does it mean to say I'm a believer? The call is disciples.

It occurs 254 times in the Gospels alone, 28 times in Acts. Go through Acts and just make a note. Just take a concordance and just go through Acts or check on your computer. Just go through it. You'll see disciple, disciple, disciple.

That's the main way we're talked about, which means that all these teachings of Jesus about what it costs to be one of his disciples is very relevant. It applies to us. You go in the mirror and look in the mirror and say I'm a Christian.

Okay, I'm a believer. I'm a disciple. Mirror may talk back to you. You know, people say I wanna be disciple. Sometimes they just mean I want somebody to take time with me and pour into my life. That has validity, but do we wanna be disciples?

Do we wanna be disciples of Jesus? What does it cost to be one of his disciples? Here, let me just share some reports from some disciples. Here is a Chinese-Korean woman living in northern China. She and her husband got saved.

He wasn't quite as deep in the Lord as she was. Then he died and she was depressed and struggled for some time and then felt God calling her to North Korea, which is one of the most heavily persecuted countries in the world today.

I mean horrific, mind-boggling suffering. This is heavy when I'm about to read. So she feels she's gonna go to North Korea. She's a disciple. She's gonna go to North Korea, share the gospel there. Dangerous, but she felt, her kid said it's too dangerous.

She said, but I had to see if this was indeed God's calling. The moment I stepped foot into North Korea, my depression went away. I felt an inner peace that I hadn't felt in many years. I knew God had called me here, but then I was heartbroken by what I saw.

Brace yourself. I walked down the road in this one village where dead bodies were on the side of the road. They've had terrible famine there. I saw a hungry boy eating one of the bodies, but then a policeman also saw him and pulling out his revolver, he shot the boy in the head.

It was the first, but not the last person I saw shot for committing cannibalism. When I returned to China after my first trip, I left something in North Korea in my heart. I knew this was to be my ministry, so I began a network of people to evangelize.

You could bring small gifts, some food, a towel, or even pencils and paper. As the North Koreans warm up to me, I would look for opportunities to share the gospel. When they believed, I would come back for training and try to bring them a Bible.

Since my first trip in 1997, this is a widow. Since my first trip in 1997, I have made contact with 40 house churches and helped start another 60. But now the work is very difficult. The larger it gets, the more dangerous it gets as well.

Our first arrest happened in 1999. Four believers were caught worshiping together. They were arrested and sentenced to seven years. A young man who was trained extensively and active in the Bible delivery was recently arrested and has disappeared.

I'm really worried about him. Another family was arrested, the whole family including the children. They were all in prison except for the father. He was executed. Some former prisoners have died from their imprisonment as well.

They will let a prisoner go when they are near death. They usually die within a few weeks or months after their release. Just this year, a family was arrested. The parents were taken to one prison and the children to another.

The authorities burned their house down. Two children, a son and daughter of one family I helped came into China for more training. But when they were returning to North Korea, they were caught and charged with treason and becoming Christians.

They have been publicly executed. This is the saddest for me. I was very close to this family. I'm sorry it is difficult for me to share more. So many have been arrested, so many killed, but I'm also thankful for others working in North Korea.