The Lord as Home Builder — Bob Hoekstra

All right, well, our study for this day is number six of six studies in the Family God's Way series from Living in Christ Ministries, and the title is The Lord as Home Builder. The Lord as Home Builder.

Let's pray together, shall we? Lord, we come seeking you this day again. We thank you for your word. Thank you for the work of the Holy Spirit to teach us, enlighten us. We pray you enlighten our understanding, renew our minds, strengthen the foundation of your word in our lives.

We pray, Lord, you do a wonderful work by your Holy Spirit, bringing more of that fullness of life that is ours in Christ Jesus and made known only by the presence and work of the Holy Spirit. Lord, for your namesake, for the sake of families and marriages near and far, may we be instruments of your light and truth on this phenomenally important subject, we pray, Lord, having the Lord as our home builder.

Teach us about that, Lord, and touch our hearts to embrace it and demonstrate it in and through our lives, we pray in Jesus' name, amen. We'll start in the book of Psalms in a moment, Psalm 127. Just a quick reflection on where we have been on this great subject of family as God describes it in his word.

God's Design for Marriage and Family

In our first study, we looked at the miracle of the first marriage, the prototype marriage there in Genesis 2, and the story of two becoming one flesh by the work of God. Two people joined together as one unit before the Lord.

Then in our second study, we looked at family life, the next great passage you might say in the scriptures on family, Deuteronomy 6, the first nine verses or so. And we saw there why families and marriages must be developed God's way, and it has to do with our calling.

We're called to be salt and light in this world, and those realities are to be developing and then emanating, not only from each of our lives, but the place we spend most of our lives as part of a family unit.

Our third study was right there in Deuteronomy 6, worldly threats to family God's way. And we looked how the idols of this world threaten by enticement the people of God and their marriages and families.

And as we saw in the Deuteronomy 6, 1 through 9 study, the heart of family life is loving worship of the true and living God. The great threat to family God's way is idolatry, putting other things and other people in the place that God alone deserves.

Then our last two studies, number 4 and 5, we looked at the primary household relationships. Ephesians 5, husbands and wives. Ephesians 6, parents and children. And we saw that the fundamental truth being expounded and elaborated upon there in Ephesians 5 and 6 is chapter 5, verse 21, submitting to one another in the fear of God.

In other words, being servants one to another, yielding our own rights and needs and interests for the rights and needs and interests of others, our household family members. And Jesus, the servant of all who came to serve, not to be served, he is our example.

He's the one who called us to that. So Christ-like servanthood, that is what is to characterize every household role and relationship. And then our final study in the series of six, the Lord as home builder.

The Lord as Architect and Builder

In many ways, you could say that a lot of the passages we've looked at in the scriptures thus far in this subject have been portraying the Lord as the architect of marriage and family. You know, the one who draws the blueprints, the one who says, here's what it's to look like.

And we've looked at a lot of fabulous places in the scriptures. And a lot of it was about, to put it in a metaphorical term, the Lord being the architect of our homes, the one who designs our homes, tells us what they're to look like and how they're to function inside the house and all of that.

But that, though it's critical to get that kind of input through the word, and we can get a lot more of it in the pages of the scripture, just on and on and on. And we want the Lord to be the architect of our home, the designer of our households and our marriages.

There's another issue, and that's who's going to take those spiritual architectural plans, the word of God applied to marriage and family, who's going to take those and build the house? You know, and the natural thought would be, oh, that's where we come in.

Well, we are absolutely to be totally engaged in Christian marriage and family development. Absolutely. But we are not to take the place of the architect or the builder. In both cases, we're the recipients of what God wants to reveal and then what God wants to do.

We need the Lord as the builder of our homes. And we get such truth in the very language even of Psalm 127, verse 1. Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. Boy, what a truth.

And this Song of Solomon certainly may have some application and implication for the building of the household of faith and the house of the Lord, the temple in Jerusalem and all of that. But if it does, it's not the only implication given here in this Psalm, because look at verse 3, behold, children are a heritage from the Lord.

Verse 5, happy is the man who has his quiver full of them. This is also fundamentally a Psalm, not only about just a household of faith at large and in general as Solomon was leading in that aspect of building a temple, but the house that all of us live in, the family house, the household.

It's obviously in view too, if not primarily, by the very verses. Three of the five verses in this Psalm are about family life and children. So unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.

The primary application then given in most of the verses is a household. We need the Lord as the builder of our households. Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. It does take strenuous labor to build a household.

Well, it does to build a physical house too. Again, kind of a metaphorical picture. We've at times lived in areas of the country where they were developing homes and we could look out near or far, see homes being built.

A lot of labor goes into the building of a home. A lot of supplies and materials and you've got blueprints and drawing and then carpenters come and build. And hammers and nails don't build houses. They're used in the building of houses.

Carpenters build houses. People don't build households the way God wants them to be. Oh, people get used in the process, but the Lord wants to be the builder of our homes. Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain.

Praise the Lord for a husband, a wife, a mom, a dad that wants to be diligent in applying all the strength and wisdom God gives them to the establishing of a Christian household or a Christian family.

Praise the Lord for that. It's going to take a lot of labor to get involved in that. But here's the thing. Unless the Lord is the actual agent and the dynamic of His Spirit working in and through the lives, unless He's actually the one doing the building, using us, they labor in vain who build it.

Listen, you know, there are even cults that are somewhat known as the good family people. You know, I think of the Mormon Church, which is, when it comes to biblical doctrine, definitely a cult. They preach a different Jesus.

There's great problems in their theology. But a lot of people think of them as, oh yeah, those are the ones that have the solid families. Well, wait a second. It's a good thing for society if families are productive and stable and they're not into crime and indulgence and rebellion and all those sorts of things.

But we're talking in the big, huge picture, time and eternity, heaven and hell, truth and error. What does God have in mind for families? God wouldn't turn to those who are into error and say, just watch what they're doing and copy it.

And they may have accepted some principles of human relationships that are maybe not even in conflict with specific truths in the Word of God. But think of it. Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.

But let's not apply this just to cult groups that might be known as reputation of good households. How about those of us who might be called evangelical, born-again, Bible-believing, Christ-honoring Christians?

Who's building our homes? Are we attentive to them? And if we are attentive to them, is it for prayer and trusting in the Lord that He might be the builder of our homes and we just be some of the instruments that He uses in the building process?

Even if we believe the right things from God, if we're not looking to God to be the implementer as He works in us, Philippians 2, both to will and to do of His good pleasure, as He becomes our strength and all of that, then we're the ones who are laboring in vain.

Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. That's a very sobering word, vain. It means futile, fruitless, pointless, ineffective. Well, we sure don't want our homes to be categorized that way.

Then what's the implication here? Let's be sure that we are increasingly, characteristically seeking the Lord to be the builder of our homes. Our calling unto marriage and family is a high calling, a holy calling.

It is beyond the resources of mere man. Our only hope, and it's a fully sufficient hope, is to have the Lord as the builder of our homes. Now, to have the Lord actually functioning in our lives, our marriages, our families as the builder of our homes calls for a commitment to the ways in which the Lord Himself has laid out in His Word by which He actually does work in and through lives.

The Lord has shown us in His Word how He works to touch people and shape people and change people and use people. So, the balance of our study will be some of the things revealed in the Word and critical in the process of how God actually does work in people's lives, making two people, one in Him in marriage and then developing a family with children and all of that.

Building the Home on God's Word

If the Lord is going to be the builder of our homes, we need to be committed to the work of His Word in our lives. That's first. To have the Lord as home builder involves His Word. Matthew chapter 7. This is a very famous story or parable.

It has great implication for Christian marriages and household units. Chapter 7 of Matthew verse 24. Therefore, whoever hears these sayings of mine and does them, I will liken him to a. And the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.

But everyone who hears these sayings of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, and it fell, and great was its fall.

In the building of a home, a house, a literal house, the laying of a foundation is exceedingly critical, isn't it? I mean, you don't just look for some empty ground and see some sandy, rocky soil and just think, well, we'll just start throwing up some walls here.

Well, it's not going to withstand the storms that come to that house. Well, so it is with households. The foundation is exceedingly important. Many, many, a marriage has started trying to develop a superstructure of a visible life together and no attention to the foundational issues where relationships should stand.

And this happens even often with Christian marriages and families. I know when my wife and I were married in June of 1966, we spent a lot of time preparing the wedding. We did not spend a lot of time and thought and prayer purposefully, consciously considering what's the foundation going to be for our marriage.

My wife was quite clear on it. She gave me a Bible. I think I told you she wrote in it, dearest Robert, may we build our house upon this rock. Speaking of the scripture, she knew, you know, in fact, I think I may have shared with you it was through her writing of that note that I was convicted under repentance and under salvation right there during our engagement, though she already thought I was a Christian.

But even though we knew, you know, the word, my wife knew that the word should be the foundation of our home. We didn't get counsel from any other believers on that matter. No one helped us think that through.

And the time demands of the great event, the wedding, just consumed most of the nine months that we were engaged. Oh, it is so critical in marriages and families that the right foundation be laid and be strengthened year by year through the history of that marriage or that household unit.

And, of course, this parable is about laying a foundation for life. Obviously, Jesus is not talking directly here about raising up physical houses and all, but a life, a life. And notice, you might say, okay, what's the foundation here?

And many a Christian would say, oh, it's the word of God. Well, it is, but it's the word of God described in a very particular way. Did you notice in reading this that both the wise man and the foolish man, they both heard the words of the Lord?

See that? Verse 24, therefore whoever hears these sayings of mine and does them, I'll liken him to a wise man. Correspondingly, verse 26, but everyone who hears these sayings of mine, same phrase, hears these sayings of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man.

So the rock foundation is the word of God, but it's the word of God defined in what way? Heard and obeyed. It is so important to hear the word of God. Faith comes by hearing the word of God. God wants us to be reading His word, hearing His word, studying His word, growing in His word, but even the foolish man whose house fell when the storms came, even he heard the word of the Lord.

What do we want to add to the word of the Lord? Just the right response. We don't want to add any content. Add nothing, take nothing away, but we want to add relationally with God an amen to the word.

We want to be doers of the word, not just hearers deceiving ourselves. So as we read the word, as we hear the word, we want hearts that say, amen Lord, amen Lord. Mary, the mother of Jesus, a great example of how to respond to the word of God.

When the angel brought the word of the Lord, the message of the Lord to her that she was chosen of God to bear the Messiah, that she would have a baby but not know a man, it would be conceived by the Holy Spirit and all.

What a message from God to her. I mean, that's an overwhelming message. Can you imagine all the things, if you were in her sandals, can you imagine all the things that would come to your mind to say after you heard the word of the Lord?

Remember what she said? Be it unto me according to your word. Boy, that's the way to respond to the word of God. That's how the word gets laid as a rock foundation in our lives. To hear it, bow down to it.

To hear it, amen it. To hear it and say, Lord, oh now, would you work in me both to will and to do of your good pleasure as revealed in your word. That's how the rock foundation is laid. And see, the wise man and the foolish man, they both face storms in life.

The exact same words are used here to describe the experience of the wise man and the foolish man. Verse 25, the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house. Okay. How about the foolish man?

The rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house. Same thing. This story, this parable, this great truth is not talking about the storms and trials that people bring upon themselves by being foolish or rebellious.

These are just the rain falls in the just and the unjust alike, and often the tornado lands on them alike as well. There are certain kinds of storms, troubles, challenges in life that everyone faces. The question is not give me some insight that will guarantee that I not face any storms.

Well, guarantee that if you follow the Lord and grow in grace, you'll have less and less storms that you cause by rebellion and foolishness and indulgence, but that's not what this parable is about. Identical words used of the wise man and the foolish man as far as what beat upon his house, and so it is in marriages and families.

There are just a whole array of things that are going to come upon every marriage and every household. See, the question is, what will be sufficient in our marriage and family to keep our household standing after the storms have come and gone?

Well, it is the rock solid foundation that's built by the Word of God, received and heard, bowed down to and obeyed, and where the Word of God becomes, you might say, our prayer list before the Lord every day.

What we read, oh Lord, we're asking you to work out in and through our lives. So a little caution here too, beware of the many, many books on marriage and family that are out in the Christian publishing book market.

So many of them are not biblically sound. They sometimes concentrate extensively upon horizontal relationships, which are of course obviously important in marriage and family, but don't get enough into the vertical relationship where each household member is seeking the Lord, growing in the Lord, learning of the Lord, being touched and shaped by the Lord.

Then, with that as their input and resource, they minister one to another. Many books on marriage and family are into a humanistic self-esteem, counseling theory, and such things. Just beware. The evangelical Christian publishing field has deteriorated through the years.

There are places where most of what you can get is biblically sound. Thank the Lord for that. But there are many very popular chain stores and all that it's very evident. In fact, I have communicated with some of them and found this to be true openly, and that is that they publish what the readers want to hear instead of what the readers need to hear.

We need to hear the Word of God and messages totally in line with the Word of God. The flesh of believers is after a self-centered, self-exalting, self-serving message. So beware in your own life and beware in your own ministry to others.

We need the Word of God. And obeying it, believing it, putting it into our prayer life, walking in the light of it, that's a rock foundation for our homes. Okay? That's a fundamental, that is maybe the basic fundamental way that the Lord works in lives to shape them and make them in a marriage and household what He wants them to be.

God's Purposes for the Household

What next? Well, 1 Peter 2, 9 and 10, not only God's Word but His purposes ruling in our homes. His purposes. We are first and foremost the people of God. We're here to proclaim His praises, not the praises of our marriage and household unit.

Verse 9,. But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light, who once were not a people but are now the people of God, who had not obtained mercy but now have obtained mercy.

When the Lord saves our soul by His mercy and grace as described here in 1 Peter 2, verse 10, who once were not a people but are now the people of God, not obtain mercy, now have obtained mercy. When the Lord mercifully saves our souls, now we are a chosen generation, a holy priesthood, a holy nation.

We're His own people. And He does all of that to many great ends and here's one of them. That you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. Once saved, those of us who deserve judgment and separation from God but now have obtained mercy, our lives and our marriages and families must fit this high purpose of God.

Our marriage is not to exist as a little circle of self-interest and bless me, bless me and mine. Sure, we can pray for the blessings of God. Certainly, those who are in our marriage, our family, we can pray for the blessings of God.

But that's not the purpose of marriage. That's just one of the great results of a godly marriage, that God is there to bless. But the purpose is higher. The purpose is higher. The purpose is proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.

You might say, well this doesn't talk about marriages and families. No, this is talking about Christians. And where should this be taking place? Certainly this should be taking place in the marriages and households where Christians live.

We cannot fulfill our individual callings if we do not grow in these things right at home. You know, you can't say, well I'm a Christian who's aiming at this. I want to just proclaim the praises of Him who called us out of darkness into His marvelous light.

And then you live selfish and all preoccupied with material things and temporal living at home. These callings for believers, above all, they're to be worked out between us and the Lord and then that's to flow out between us and our marriage partner and then mom and dad and the children and the children back toward mom and dad.

That's to be the dynamic. Whatever individual Christians are called to, they are to be growing in those things right in the household in which they live. So, how does the Lord build our homes and lives?

Certainly by the foundation of His Word but by leading us into the high calling of His purposes. Here's another one that's very important for marriage and family if we want the Lord as home builder and that is His church.

The Church as the Context for Christian Family Life

His church. Think of this. Ephesians chapter 1 verse 22 and 23. And He, the Father, put all things under His feet, Jesus' feet, and gave Him, Jesus, to be head over all things to the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.

What great revelation about the church of the Lord Jesus Christ. By the way, what great revelation concerning us. We are the church, the body of Christ. The church, that's the people of God, the body of Christ.

We who know the Lord Jesus are all members of His body, His church. And it is there in church life that we are to find and experience and grow in fullness of life. Look at this. Verse 23. The church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.

For Christians in marriage and family to just tag on a little bit of church experience is not the will of God. Certainly it's not His will that we avoid church life in our marriage and families. Individual Christians.

Jesus said, I came that you might have life and you might have it more abundantly. Where are people to go to be taught what that abundant life is all about and how it develops? It's in the church. It's in the life of the church.

Where are people to turn to experience living examples of what the fullness of life in Christ is about and is like? They're to see it in the churches. The church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.

That's quite a declaration of the church that it is the fullness of Him who fills all in all. Now, that's God's ideal for the church. That the church, the body of Christ at large and every individual church would be a demonstration of this truth.

The fullness of Him who fills all in all. Yes, some churches are filled with the world. So they miss this high calling. They don't help people understand these things. Some churches are very full of themselves.

The whole message is don't we just have the fastest growing, most creative, clever and innovative church ever? Wait a minute. That's not our message. Our message is Christ and Him crucified. And then the fullness of life that is found in Him.

So, if some Christians were related to the church and then you likened it in the physical body, it would almost be like, okay, my right arm, that's a Christian. And if you examine how it relates to the body, it's just connected hardly, barely by one or two little blood vessels and one or two little tendons.

It's almost detached from the body. And so there's no way it can participate fully in the life of the body with that kind of connection. Some Christian marriages are like that. They just tag on a little bit of church.

You know, they got their own thing going. And they just, you know, well, if we get to church a couple times a month, you know, fine. No. That's like being that arm almost separated from the body. No way to grow in fullness.

No way to function increasingly as God designed. It is the will of God that we not forsake the assembling of ourselves together. The Lord wants us in the church. And He wants churches, individual members seeking the Lord and His fullness, gathering together to expound on His fullness in the Word, crying out for the filling of the Spirit to walk in fullness of life.

This is how God works in lives. This is how He shapes and changes hearts and minds. This is how He wants to build relationships in our homes. If the Lord is going to be the builder in our homes, we need His Word at work, His purposes on display, His church as a great part of our personal experience.

The Lord's Glory as the Center of the Home

And then also His glory, Colossians 118. And He is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the preeminence. This is what God wants to do in our homes.

Christian families are not to be establishing their greatness, but rather declaring the greatness of the Lord. He is to get the honor in their lives. They're not just to be known as one of the best little Christian families you've ever found.

Our households, our marriages are to be places where in all things the Lord Jesus Christ would have the preeminence. You know, first place. The place of high honor, the place of attention, the place of obedience.

It should just be supernaturally natural in our Christian homes that the Lord is boasted about among the household, that the greatness of the Lord, the glory of the Lord, all good things that happen in the home being credited to the Lord.

You know, that's what renews the mind. That's what shapes our heads, our thinking properly. That's solid, down-to-earth, heavenly thinking. You know, those who know the Lord and see how glorious He is, see all they've received from Him and all He can do.

It's right for every individual Christian to be glorifying the Lord, but we need to be doing it at home. The most fundamental place where Jesus Christ should be magnified and honored is in a Christian marriage, is in a Christian family.

That knits husband and wife together. That knits mom and dad and the kids with each other. It's not just, hey, we love our family. Praise the Lord if we love our family. We should love our families. But here's a bigger thing.

We love our family because they love the Lord. You know, that kind of picture. That's how the Lord builds lives with Him. That's how He wants to build our lives and our marriages. What else? Well, His wisdom and guidance.

Trusting the Lord for Wisdom and Guidance

His wisdom and guidance. Proverbs 3, 5 and 6. Is this one of your favorites? Most people who ever find this verse, ever hear it, it becomes one of their favorites. It is a lifelong favorite for my wife and I.

Individually, but also collectively in our marriage. Proverbs 3, 5 and 6. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.

Marriage and family life calls for much wisdom and guidance and direction. So many things take place in a marriage that call for wisdom and direction. So many things take place in family life when children are added that call for much wisdom and guidance.

We're going to need it every day of our lives. Here's a great exposition from heaven above on wisdom and guidance. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. You know, these are great words to read in general to shape how we think and walk with the Lord.

But these are especially great words to meditate and pray over when a marriage or a family is facing big decisions. There's confusion or perplexity or bewilderment or they're being stretched in a test or discouraged by the battles.

It's also a great place to read when a marriage or a family is beginning some great chapter of life or project or preparing to face some huge opportunity in life. These are phenomenal verses for husband and wife to get into and pray together and lead the children into them as well.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Count on the Lord with everything that is at the core of your being. And at the same time, be alert, be cautious, be aware. Lean not on your own understanding. As we grow in the Lord, He gives us understanding.

But no matter how much understanding He has given us, we're going to face issues individually and together as husbands and wives and as family household units that eclipse our understanding, that go way beyond what we've yet learned or grown into.

Our entire life here on earth is to be learning and growing in the Lord. So we don't ever want to lean on our understanding. Even if we think the Lord has already given us understanding for what we're going to face, we want to lean on Him with that understanding.

Lord, if this is right, you implement it, you guide it, you guard us. And then in all of our ways, acknowledge Him. In all of our ways. Things that are new, things that are old. Things we've faced before, things we've never faced before.

Opportunities, trials, difficulties, impossibilities. In all your ways, acknowledge Him. How do you do that? Well, say something is taking place in your life, marriage, or household. Something is taking place.

This is one instance that covers all your ways. Whatever that instance is, take it before the Lord. Lord, we acknowledge you in this. We're not going to presume that we know how to handle it. We're not going to expect that we will get through this, but only with your guidance and your wisdom.

And then that Christian and that Christian marriage partnership and that Christian household can press on into whatever the opportunity or challenge is with this great assurance. And He shall direct your paths.

This kind of thinking and relating and interacting with the Lord and each other should be fundamental in a Christian life and a Christian marriage. God wants to bring us wisdom and guidance. I think of Isaiah 9 .6, prophetic about Jesus.

And His name shall be called Wonderful Counselor. This is another way to put it. The Lord wants to be the counselor in our lives. Yes, He might use the human instrumentality of man, but He wants to be our counselor.

And He's a wonder of a counselor. There's no counselor like the Lord Jesus Christ. And when we turn to Him and His Word to get our wisdom and guidance, we're actually letting Him be practically, specifically, in an ongoing manner, the builder of our homes.

God's Grace for Building the Home

Let's look at one more. If the Lord is going to be the builder of our homes and we need Him to be such or our labors will be vain and fruitless, we are going to need His grace in our lives. His grace.

Acts 20, 32. Some of us have looked at this together previously. We need His grace if He's going to be the builder of our homes. Acts 20, 32. The Word of God. Here we're reminded it's the Word of His grace.

It is in the Word of God that we learn of the grace of God. It is in the Word of God that we grow in the grace of God. The Scriptures are the Word of His grace. And His Word unfolding His grace to us has such phenomenal ability unleashed.