A TLP Snippet 2: Those 4 Little Words

Ah, those four little words. No, no, no, not I love you, that's three. But those four words that we so often want our children to say, but we don't always feel as comfortable saying them ourselves. I don't know about you, but when my children have sinned against each other, one of the very first things I ask them to do is to apologize.

And I do this even if they don't always mean it, because I want them to build a good habit of realizing that when I've sinned against somebody, the very first thing I need to do is to get it right. That's Bible, it's very important, even if we're in the act of worship, we're going to offer our sacrifice and we realize that we've sinned against somebody.

We need to stop, we need to go find that person, ask them to forgive us before we can go back and sacrifice to our Lord and worship Him with a clear heart. So this concept of apologizing is hugely important.

Apologizing Quickly When You Sin

And how often do we ask our children to do it, or even demand that they do it? But how often do we do it? Now, a couple of things that we need to consider here. Number one, I am just as responsible to apologize when I sin as my children are when they sin.

The problem is as an authority figure, who generally when my kids are in the middle of a sinful response, I'm not currently sinning myself. Hopefully I'm in the right frame of mind so I can help them to see what they did was wrong and I can guide them to making it right with their sibling.

However, when I'm in the middle of sinning, just like my child, my mind is not straight. My mind is not thinking correctly. And when it comes time for me to apologize for my sin, too often my mind is filled with defenses and well, I'm the dad and blah, blah, blah.

And it's all just a bunch of ridiculousness because the reality of the situation is I need to turn to my child who I just sinned against and say, will you please forgive me? And that's a second thing I wanted to talk about real quick.

Saying “Will You Forgive Me?” Instead of “I’m Sorry”

The idea of an apology is not saying I'm sorry. Yes, there are many things to be sorry for and it's appropriate to be sorry. I tell my children, it's good to say I'm sorry if you've done something accidentally.

It wasn't a deliberate sin, it wasn't done out of spite or it wasn't done to be unkind. It might have just been foolish but you spilled somebody's water, you accidentally bum into them, you say, I'm sorry.

But when I've sinned against somebody, that's a completely different thing. When I've sinned against somebody, I generally have chosen to not love them, literally to hate them and to love myself more than I love them.

And that is something that needs to be forgiven. See, forgiveness is something that somebody else grants. I ask for it, but they need to give it. And if I just say, I'm sorry, I'm not really giving them the opportunity to grant me the forgiveness that God has commanded them to grant.

So it's extremely important that we use these words, will you forgive me? And when we say that, we then hand off to the other person the responsibility to either give that forgiveness or not. And again, I as the parent am equally responsible for doing this as my children are.

Parents Must Ask Forgiveness from Children, Spouse, and God

I need to be asking my wife to forgive me when I've sinned against her. I need to ask my children to forgive me when I've sinned against them. And when I do this, not only am I fulfilling my responsibility to my Lord by immediately going and getting forgiveness, but I've also set an example for my children so that when I tell them, hey, you need to apologize to your brother, they see that daddy does this too.

This is how a Christian is supposed to live. We have been greatly forgiven by God, and we must ask for forgiveness from our fellow man when we've sinned against them. The last part of this though is super important.

We don't just ask man to forgive us, we always need to ask God to forgive us. And I think sometimes we as parents, we're actually even better at asking our children to forgive us than we are our Lord.

Every Sin Is a Sin Against God

You see, we think that we have it all figured out and everything's fine when I've apologized to the person I've sinned against. But you see, every sin is a sin against God. Joseph said to Potiphar's wife when she was tempting him to be inappropriate with her, he said, how can I do this great sin and sin against your husband?

No, he didn't say that. He didn't say, how can I sin against your husband or you or even me? He said, how can I do this great sin and sin against God? And every sin, even me losing my temper with my children is a sin against my Lord.

So when I say those four little words, will you forgive me? I need to say it to my kids and I need to be prepared to say it to my God. I hope you enjoy today's TLP snippet, Parenting Wisdom in Five Minutes or Less.

Truth, love, parents is part of the Evermind Ministries family and is dedicated to helping you become an intentional premeditated parent. Join us next time as we search God's word for the truth your family needs today.