Being a Godly Father — Zac Poonen

Being a Godly Father: Representing God to Our Children

So my subject today is Being a godly father and There's a great need for that in the time in which we live. Because there are very few good examples in this area. I want to turn to John chapter 1 and verse 18.

Jesus came Not only to die for our sins but to reveal God is a father. So I want you to look at this verse and see how it applies to us as fathers. No one has seen God at any time when Jesus came into a world where people didn't know what God was like.

There were a lot of religious people in the synagogues preaching about God, but it is also a wrong picture of God is a tyrant or a judge or a policeman or something like that. Jesus came to reveal that God was a father and The only begotten God that's Christ the Son of God Who's in the bosom of the father?

He has explained him our children have not seen God either. Just like this verse says and We are now to represent Christ to them and reveal and explain God the father to them. Jesus said as the father sent me.

So send I you he came to explain the father To a generation of people who didn't know God properly and that's our calling To our children who know nothing about God and the first Understanding they have is from what they see in their parents.

So that's why it's a very serious responsibility and most Parents take it so lightly. Unfortunately, and that's one reason children go astray. So that's where we got to begin and take our responsibility seriously towards the end of Jesus life he said in John 14 and verse 9 He said he who has seen me Has seen the father.

That's how perfectly he represented the father and we should be able to see that to say that to our own children but if you've seen the way I've Brought you up and the way I speak to you and the way I behave in the way I've Conducted myself you should have seen something of what God is like.

And that's the way our children can come to God. And so you see fathers have a tremendous responsibility in our attitude to children. Jesus said in Matthew chapter 18 and verse 5. Matthew 18 and verse 5 and he Called a child to himself.

He said Whoever receives one such child in my name Receives me. I don't know whether you believe that That when you receive a child Into your home or even welcome a little child. When you meet a child anywhere in church or anywhere in your neighborhood, you're receiving Jesus.

Whoever receives a little child is the closest to heaven on earth little children. And you receive that child in Jesus name you receive me. Jesus said earlier he had told his Apostles If anyone receives you Apostles in my name They receive me.

But there are not so many Apostles around for us to receive them. They're very few but there are plenty of children. You receive an Apostle in Jesus name you receive Jesus you receive a child in Jesus name you receive Jesus.

So this is to be our attitude toward all children our own and other people's children a Person who is like Jesus will love children like Jesus did if you don't love children, you've got to become like Jesus Who loves children who welcome children who receive children and that's the example we follow.

Abraham’s Command to Raise Children in God’s Ways

Now coming back to The Old Testament, I just want to go through a Bible study with you on being a godly father and I want to begin in the Old Testament with The man whom God chose to be the father of the nation of Israel Abraham and who is also called in the New Testament the spiritual father of faith of Christians.

Genesis chapter 18 and verse 7. Maybe verse 18. Genesis 18 and verse 18 The Lord said Abraham is going to become a great mighty nation. Through his children and in him all the nations of the earth will be blessed.

Not just the Jewish nation. All the nations of the earth will be blessed. What was the reason how did God prepare Abraham to be a blessing to the nations of the earth. There's something we can learn there for ourselves as God seeks to make you and me a blessing to other people.

You go to the next verse for For means because. Relating to what we just saw I have chosen him. Why did God choose Abraham? Not to be a blessing to the nations of the earth. First of all, that would come later first.

To command his children and his family after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice and when he does that the Lord will be able to bring upon him all. That he has promised.

So what was he called for. To command his children and the word command is a military word. He wasn't going to give suggestions to his children. He's gonna tell them this is what you got to do and In the military if you're given a command you obey immediately.

That's how Abraham taught his children. You know how turn left or turn right on the parade ground. They don't think about it. They just act immediately. That's how Abraham taught his children to walk in the ways of the Lord.

What an example so that God could bring upon Abraham All that he has promised a lot of things God has promised us. But he's going to first test you with your children. Whether you learn to command your children to obey and walk in the ways of the Lord.

And one example of this we see Is when we see Abraham taking his son Isaac up to the top of Mount Moriah. Now we see that as a wonderful example of a man who was obeying willing to obey God to the uttermost.

Imagine when God told him to sacrifice his son he obeyed he took him. He went to the foot of that mountain and made it Isaac. Carry all that wood up to the top. Isaac must have been around 25 years old or so to carry all that wood up to the top of the mountain.

He wasn't a little boy and Abraham was his old 125 year old man walking with his young strapping muscular son. Going up to the top of the mount and on top of the mound after that he made that stone altar.

Isaac didn't know what they had gone up for. He asked his father. Where's the lamb? So God will take care of that. He'll provide. And when he goes up to the top Isaac gets the surprise of his life when Abraham says you lie down on the altar.

You're gonna be the sacrifice. I'm gonna kill you because God's told you told me to kill you. You know what he does. He lies down. How many of your 25 year old children would obey you if you asked him to do that.

You see why God blessed Abraham? He brought up his children his son in such a way. That Isaac says well dad. I don't like this, but if God's told you to do it. I'm ready to obey. There we see not only Abraham's obedience.

But Isaac's obedience. And in Isaac's obedience we see how God how Abraham brought up his son. Are you surprised now that God blessed Abraham so much? You see how much is dependent on the way a father brings up his son his children.

Eli’s Failure to Discipline His Sons

Right there in the beginning of Scripture in contrast you see bad examples in Scripture to Turn to 1 Samuel and chapter 2. Here we read of the high priest Eli and his sons. Eli was the Leader of Israel.

There were no king in those days. There was no king there. The high priest was the top man the top religious man. The head religious head of the nation of Israel was supposed to be an outstanding example to the nation.

And he knew all about Abraham the way Abraham brought up his sons. Read what Moses had written in the five books and How did he bring up his own children it says in 1 Samuel chapter 2 verse 12? The sons of Eli were worthless men.

They were young men maybe in the 20s or 30 worthless. They did not know the Lord. What did they do. It says in the succeeding verses. They would Go to the place where the offerings were made and send their servants there to collect the best part of the meat steal the offerings of the Lord which people came and brought there and They would go and find young women there and commit adultery.

Take advantage of their position of leadership in the tabernacle and exploit young women sexually and Because their dad was the top leader. That's happened so much in Christian circles, too, so it's just a repetition of Eli's story all over again.

And what does Eli do when he hears about this. When he heard about how? His sons were Sleeping around with the women at the tent of meeting. He says to them in 1 Samuel chapter 2 verse 23. What is this I hear?

Why do I hear such thing? Why do you do such things. The evil things that I hear from all these people know my sons? This report is not good. For the Lord that the Lord's people are circulating. He's more bothered about what he hears what he hears.

What am I hearing? This is not good. It's not a good testimony. Is that the way you rebuke people who are committing adultery in the church? He did not rebuke them and put them out of the ministry immediately.

He didn't do that. Well, how does God? What does God say about that? See 1 Samuel 2 verse 29. You have honored your sons. The middle of that verse above me God says. You care more for your sons Than for me.

You don't care for my standards. You want to please your sons, and that's why God put Eli out of the ministry. The man died and his entire Descendants were removed from the ministry altogether. God removed them.

If Eli wouldn't do it then God would do it. And. Then in the next verse verse 30 God says. Because in the last part of that verse, this is a word that you've all probably heard. Those who honor me I will honor.

It's a very well-known verse. Among Christians 1 Samuel 2 30 the last part of that. But what many don't realize is it is spoken in relation to honoring? God above your children. It's in that context this verse comes you learn to honor me.

By bringing up your children in the fear of God, and I will honor you. But those who despise me will be lightly esteemed. In the next chapter we read about Samuel a little boy who grew up in the temple and whom God spoke to and He went to Eli the old man, and he was hesitant to tell Eli all that God told him.

But when Eli asked him what did God say? He says yes the Lord told him he's going to judge your house forever. Because your sons brought a curse on themselves. And you did not rebuke them. 1 Samuel chapter 3 and verse 13 you did not rebuke your children.

You did not correct them. You did not bring them up the way They should have been brought up and Samuel knew that Samuel grows old and he becomes the leader now the prophet in Israel. Let's see how he brought up his children.

1 Samuel chapter 8 Verse 1. We read that he appointed his sons 1 Samuel 8 verse 1 as judges over Israel because he was getting old and In verse 3 we read about Samuel's sons. His sons did not walk in Samuel's ways.

But they turned aside after dishonest gain just like Eli's sons To make money out of their religious ministry. They took bribes perverted justice took money to condemn the innocent. How is it that Samuel hadn't learned a lesson?

How is it so many Christians today? Don't learn a lesson from the many examples in scripture and all around them of The importance of bringing up children in God-fearing ways. One reason is 1 Samuel chapter 7 the immediate preceding verses to this.

Verse 15 it says Samuel judged Israel all the days of his life. In verse 16. He used to go annually 1 Samuel 7 16 on a circuit. He used to travel in the ministry Bethel Gilgal Mispah and all these places and then verse 17 he would come back to Rama Where his house was.

He was so busy in the ministry That he had no time To teach here. He had only two sons and he didn't have time to bring them up in godly ways. Both of them became evil. Because he thought I've got to serve the Lord.

A lot of people are so busy and doing something. But you think is for God or they're busy in their job or busy making money and they neglect their children and their children grow up to glorify the devil.

Did God give you the ability to produce children to produce people who glorify the devil and serve the devil. There are millions and billions of people serving the devil already. We don't have to add to that number by producing some more ourselves.

Marriage, Faithfulness, and the Father’s First Responsibility

Why does God give us? Children let's turn to the book of Malachi. In the book of Malachi we read it's the last book of the Old Testament and The last days of Israel were very similar to these last days of the Christian era.

People have just Rejected most of the things written in the New Testament. Just like Israel rejected most of the things written in the law. God was fed up with this people and that was the last voice that God was going to speak to Israel through Malachi.

That was the end. We are nearing that time the Christian Church. Malachi chapter 2 says in verse 14 Malachi 2 14. You know they were saying why is God not hearing our prayer. What is the reason for God not listening to our prayer.

And the Lord says I'll tell you. Because the Lord has been a witness to something. He's been a witness to something you've been doing in secret between you and the wife of your youth. Against whom you have dealt treacherously you have been unfaithful to your wife is the Lord speaking to some of you with that verse even though she's supposed to be your companion and You made a covenant with her in the time.

You got married that she'd be your wife and it's interesting that the Lord calls her the wife of your youth. The first step to bringing up godly children is to be a good husband. You can't be a good father if you're not a good husband.

To recognize to value your wife to live with her in an understanding way. To look at your wife no matter how old she is as the wife of your youth the way She was when you loved her first when you married her.

My wife is 68 years old. She's the wife of my youth. Today's our Please stand up darling. Today is our wedding anniversary. We were married 43 years ago. And I can honestly say that I love her 43 times more than I did when I first married her and We are 43 times more happier than we were when we first got married and Together God's given us grace to raise up four boys who all love the Lord and are following him and serving him and Who've all married God-fearing wives and Who are now seeking to bring up their children in their godly ways.

They themselves were brought up. One of the greatest Things that has encouraged me is that all four of them have turned to me and said dad. You are our hero and We want to bring up our children the way you brought us up and I want to tell you I was not a perfect father.

But my wife and I used to pray For them regularly. We still do we pray for them. We pray for our grandchildren now. We claim the promises of God for our children and grandchildren and that's something we can all do.

We are we're weak. We're helpless, but we can go to God and ask him Lord fulfill the promises of your word. That's why you need to know the scriptures. I'll tell you a couple of promises God gave us and that's for you.

Claiming God’s Promises for Children

To a Promise is like a check. You got to take it to the bank to cash it. If you just keep it at home and frame it up you get nothing so Here's a promise take it like a check to the Bank of Heaven. Isaiah 54 and verse 13.

The Lord gave us this promise when our children were born. Before them they were born Isaiah 54 verse 13 independently to me and my wife. Isaiah 54 and verse 13 all your sons Will be taught of the Lord and the word taught in the Hebrew there is Discipled all your sons will become this will be discipled by the Lord and the well-being of your sons Will be great.

It was a check signed by the Lord Jesus Christ. We took it to the Bank of Heaven in prayer and said Lord cash it in our name. Fulfill it, but that's in your Bible, too. It's not only in my Bible. That's for you.

Why don't you take it to the Bank of Heaven and then cash it all the promises of God are amen and are yes in Christ Jesus. We've got to put our arm into it for us to encash it so we did that and God is Wonderfully answered our prayer.

Now we have grandchildren. We already have nine grandchildren and So we look for another promise for our grandchildren now. The Bible is full of checks. You didn't know that. Well here's what we found for our grandchildren.

Isaiah 59 and verse 21. Isaiah 59 verse 21. Isaiah chapter 59 verse 21 as for me. This is my covenant with them says the Lord my Holy Spirit Which is upon you and my words which I have put in your mouth.

It will not depart from your mouth. It will not depart from the mouth of your children. Nor from the mouth of your grandchildren Says the Lord from now and forever. So here's another check. We take to the Bank of Heaven signed by Jesus Christ endorsed on the back by me and my wife saying amen.

That's for us. Isn't it in your Bible? Grandfathers something for you to encash This tremendous power in prayer learn to Make use of that power. God has given us. What is our responsibility? It's not only prayer.

Training Children Through Instruction and Discipline

Let me turn you to Proverbs chapter 22 and verse 6. Proverbs chapter 22 and verse 6 train up a child in the way he should go and When he is old he will not depart from it. It's like a contract two people sign one person says I'll do my part if you do your part.

It's you got to do your part first. What is that train up a child in the way should go and God says I'll make sure that when he's old he doesn't depart from it. What a wonderful promise to claim again Lord give me grace.

To train up this little child right from the time. He's born in Godliness by prayer by singing hymns to it and teaching him or her God's ways. And when they're all you promised that you'll do your part I'll tell you if you're faithful to do your part.

You can be absolutely sure God will be faithful to do his. He will bring he will not let them go astray and and so if children do go astray Don't blame them. Don't say they got into bad company blame yourself say I didn't bring them up properly.

Don't Blame that temperament. Oh children are different. Don't listen to what the psychologists say listen to what the Bible says and You may find there's a lot of difference. Blame yourself. Don't be like Adam who blamed his wife.

Be like of the thief on the cross who said I'm guilty Lord. I'm guilty. Paradise is for such people Who accept the blame and don't seek to blame others. We are responsible for the way we bring up our children and one proof of that is found in 1 Timothy and chapter 3 where one of the conditions for leadership in God's house is The way you brought up your children.

Now if we were not responsible for the way we brought up our children then God could not make that a condition for leadership. I Mean if I'm helpless and if children Grow up different ways because they've got bad company or they've got a bad temperament or different personality.

How in the world could God hold me responsible for it? How could God say you you're not fit to be an elder if it's not my fault that the children went astray? One of the conditions 1 Timothy chapter 3 verse 4 a Leader must be one who manages his own family.

Well Keeping his children under control with all dignity. That's one of the conditions if you don't fulfill that condition you can't be an elder. I know in some of our churches. I've had to remove elders when their children were not brought up that way.

I said brother just humble yourself step down from eldership. Just be a brother in the church because Your family is not a good testimony to others. According to God's word I mean most people neglect these commands in God's word like a hundred and one other commands of God they neglect but Jesus said we got to obey all that he taught and here is God's standard.

I remember when my children were growing up, and I Said if you knew grew up, and you go astray, I will not blame you if you go astray. I'll blame myself. I Didn't bring you upright. Don't blame your children.

And he goes on to say the reason why a leader needs to be like that in the next verse verse 5 is If a man does not know how to manage his own family you got two or three children. And you can't bring them up in godly ways.

How in the world are you going to bring up a church with two three hundred people? Or two three thousand that's an impossible. You have to bring up your own children first in the proper way otherwise you're not qualified to bring up a church in the ways of God and the children go astray because They see hypocrisy in their parents.

That's the reason They see to their parents preaching one thing singing one thing on Sunday and at home living another way. Talking to each other in a way. They would never talk to each other publicly in a church service and They say this is all hypocrisy.

I remember in the 40 years ago in India There were a number of American young people who came there in search of the true God in Hinduism they were what they called hippies in those days and Why did they come there?

I met some of them and talked to them and I discovered they came from Christian families from rich Christian families. Why did they forsake the Christ which their parents worshipped? Because they saw hypocrisy in their home our parents had a lot of money, but they didn't live.

What they Pretended to believe on Sunday morning when they went to church. They said that can't be the truth and they come seeking God in Hinduism and Buddhism. That's the reason children go astray. Hypocrisy in their parents and we need to examine ourselves and judge ourselves and see Whether we are the cause for leading them astray in the Old Testament.

Teaching Children to Know God’s Word

The Lord said through Moses to the Israelites in Deuteronomy chapter 6. Let me read you this verse. Deuteronomy chapter 6 and verse 20. God was concerned that Every generation should have a witness for him and he told those Israelites as they were entering Canaan.

In Canaan when your son comes and asks you in time to come. What do these things mean these work testimony statues the commands of God? You should be able to explain to them. He says in the succeeding verses and that applies to us, too.

Your children come and ask you dad, what does this scripture mean? You say I don't know myself. How in the world are you gonna help him? That's why we need to study the scriptures. That's why the Bible says that we need to bring up our children in godly ways.

Bring up our children in the ways of God. Like I've repeatedly been telling people When in Malachi it says how we We were not faithful to our wives that we can't bring up our children properly. I want to turn to an example of a set of parents who brought up That child Moses in a good way.

Moses’ Parents and the Values They Taught Him

Turned with me to the book Hebrews in chapter 11. Hebrews chapter 11 we read here. In Hebrews in chapter 11 and verse 23 Hebrews is chapter 11 is the hall of fame the heroes of faith and We read here About the faith of Moses parents.

It's not the faith of Moses mentioned here by faith. Moses when he was born was hidden by his parents. It's the faith of Moses parents. Now Hebrews chapter 11 is a chapter where We read of people pulling down the walls of Jericho splitting open the Red Sea and shutting the mouths of lions and putting the armies of enemies To flight etc by faith in the midst of it.

It speaks about the faith of parents. Can parents come in the hall of fame of heroes of faith? They never split the Red Sea. They never shut the mouths of lions. What did these parents do to qualify them to come into this wonderful chapter Hebrews chapter 11?

It's because they brought up their one son, right? You know the story how Pharaoh's daughter picked up Moses from the bull rushes from the basket and Gave him as a little baby back to his mother to bring him up and said when he's old enough send him to the palace.

Maybe Moses mother had him for seven years. I Don't know at the most perhaps ten. But she knew I am gonna have this little boy with me only for a little time. I want you all to remember Your child is gonna be with you only for a little while and Then he was going to go to the worst place on earth for sin the palace of Pharaoh and We read that when Moses went there at the age of 40 you see three decisions he took in the next three verses and There you see the three things that his parents taught him when he was a child at the age of seven.

At that young age. They drilled certain values into his head. Look at them num at them one by one. Hebrews chapter 11 verse 24. By faith Moses when he had grown up train up a child and the way should go when he's old he will not depart from it.

The first thing he did was he rejected the honor of this world. He refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter. He would have been the next Pharaoh if he had just kept quiet about his ancestry.

Pretended to be the son of Pharaoh's daughter as everybody thought He could have been the Pharaoh. He said I don't want it. Egypt was the greatest superpower on earth in those days to be Pharaoh was to be the most powerful man in the world and He didn't have to get elected for it.

He just would grow up into it and he said no I don't want the honor of this world. Where did he get that value? His parents his father and mother must have drilled it into his head. Son when you grow up.

Don't seek the honor of this world. Seek to honor God. You're not an Egyptian. You're an Israelite. We belong to the true God. That's what we need to tell our children. You don't belong to this world.

We don't belong to this world. We don't seek honor in this world. We live our life seeking to honor God. We don't pursue the honor of this God. The first thing we need to teach our children the second thing verse 25 He chose Hebrews 11.

25. Sorry, yeah. 25. He chose rather to endure ill treatment with the people of God than to enjoy the pleasures of sin. Shall I choose suffering or? Pleasure, you know how every normal human being would say pleasure.

Definitely. But they drilled it into this little boy's head. You are part of this Afflicted people of God these Israelites who are enslaved here who've been enslaved for hundreds of years. Don't ever be ashamed of them.

Moses when you go there and live in the midst of the world. That's what we need to teach our children when you go to that palace Moses. You're gonna be tempted with all types of sinful pleasures, which you don't even know now as a eight nine year old boy.

But you'll face it there when you grow up and become a teenager. Resisted is there pleasure in sin. The Bible says there is we just saw it the pleasures of sin, but it's a passing pleasure. That's what they told their son.

You there is pleasure in sin. That's what the world why the world goes after it, but remember it's a passing pleasure. Reject it. Be willing to suffer with God's people. The colleges today are worse or like those that palace in Egypt.

We need to teach our children about the passing pleasures of sin. Teach them to reject it when they are young and Then they will reject it when they grow up. And the third thing Is in verse 26? It says here Moses considered the reproach of Christ greater riches Than the treasures of Egypt for he was looking for a reward.

What a wonderful thing to teach our children to look for a heavenly reward. I I'm willing to suffer for Christ's sake on earth then get all the wealth of this world to teach our children not to tell lies not to cheat as they grow up.

Learn to pay your taxes properly and Be upright don't cheat anybody don't exploit anyone. And if God calls you to be a preacher. Don't try to make money out of your preaching. Don't Swindle poor people out of their tights because you want to buy expensive cars and airplanes etc like that.

Imagine if parents had taught their children these values we'd have a different type of Christianity. Consider the reproach of Christ greater riches in the treasures of Egypt. He was taught from childhood not to value the honor of the world not to value the pleasures the world offers and not to value the wealth of this world and Therefore his parents found a place in the Hall of Fame of great heroes of faith.

Honoring Parents and Modeling God’s Beauty

What should we teach our children? Further he Ephesians chapter 6. It says here in Ephesians 6 in verse 2 Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise in the Ten Commandments only one commandment had a promise attached to it and That was this one to honor your father and mother.

Before all the other commandments of don't kill don't steal which is there the first one for Earthly relationships was honor your father and mother and The promise is given in the next verse verse 3 that it may go well with you.

That you may live long on the earth. Don't you want it to go well with your children? Then we must teach them right from the beginning to honor their father and mother to always speak respectfully to the parents and to older people to always obey their parents and It's easier to teach them that if you start from the time they are one year old.

They understand when they're one. I tell you they do teach them obedience and If you take that seriously You will ensure that it goes well with your children. It's a promise of God That if they honor their father and mother it'll go well with them and that's why we need to teach them that and We read further down here Our responsibility as fathers, but before we come to that I want to show you a verse in Psalm 90.

It's the one Psalm that Moses wrote among the hundred and fifty Psalms in your book in our Bible. There's one Psalm that Moses wrote. He never forgot what his parents taught him and he wrote in Psalm 90 in verse 16 Lord let your work appear to your servants and your majesty to their children.

We want our children to see the majesty of God. Where are they gonna see it in? Creation in the wonderful things God does in creation. No verse 17. Let the beauty as it says in the King James Version.

Let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us. Let the children see your majesty Lord in my life as a father. Moses says I saw that in. My dad was a slave and my mom was a slave's wife. They were not rich.

We lived in a little hut. They didn't have much money. They were poorer than all of us. They were slaves. They had to scrape by every month for their needs. But Moses remembered seeing the majesty of God Upon his parents faces and their lives their simple lives and he says Lord.

That's what we need. Our children need to see. So that's our responsibility as fathers as I said earlier that people can see the beauty of God. And what is that? Beauty, let me show you a verse in Romans chapter 11 and verse 22.

The reason I'm showing you all this scripture Is like Paul said so that your faith may not rest on the wisdom of man. But on the power of God and the Word of God. It's very important that our faith is founded on God's Word.

Faith comes by hearing and Hearing is not by any man's eloquent speech. It's by the Word of Christ Romans 11 22. Behold then the kindness and the severity of God just that first part of that verse. Behold means look carefully.

How many of you have looked carefully and seen a balanced picture of God as a father? Kind and strict. That's the balance. That's the beauty of the Lord our God that must be upon us a Beauty that is only full of kindness is a one-sided God.

I mean if you were to cut a man in half and showed people half it would be part of the man. But it's very ugly. It's only half you need the full man to see. The beautiful picture of what a man looks like and same way with God if he only see grace and not truth.