The Difference Between Being Small and Being Broken — Santosh Poonen

Hey, good morning, family. It's good to be with you again. Thanks, children, for singing loud. I love listening to you sing, as I believe Jesus does, too. Let's turn our Bibles together to actually John chapter 12.

Jesus’ Popularity and the Cost of Following Him

John chapter 12. You could pull up my slides, Derek or Dorrington or Zave. We were looking a couple weeks ago at the story where Jesus came riding on the colt of a donkey, and I talked about how God wants to relieve us of our burdens so that he can become our burden, he himself.

And one thing I did want to clarify, I remembered after my message, that it does say, I think in Luke, in the parallel passage, we were reading in Matthew 21, but I think if I remember right in parallel passage in Luke, it does say that that colt had never borne a burden before, actually.

So even though I was using the example, we've all borne burdens, I think you understand the point of what I was saying. But I did want to clarify, factually, I may have misspoken, that that colt had not borne a burden before.

It's very clear about that. Jesus picked a colt that had not borne a burden. Anyway, that's a small bit of trivia, if you're into Bible trivia. It's good to be accurate though. And what, it's interesting though, you think about that, that Jesus, who had been rejected throughout his life by most of the people around him, there were periods of time when multitudes would follow him.

And I'd like to look at, look at a little, look at that a little bit this morning, in how it says here in John 12, verse 12, that the large crowd who had come to the feast, it was a large crowd that had come to the feast and saw Jesus riding on a colt, and even though he was riding on a colt, they were praising him.

I'd like to pick up the story in verse 17, John 12, verse 17. This is after Jesus is riding on the donkey, he's entered into Jerusalem, like we read a couple weeks ago. Now it says, the people who were with him when he called Lazarus out of the tomb, which had happened just a few days before this, and raised him from the dead, continued to testify about him.

So Jesus, as we see here, had a large crowd of people that continued to testify about him. There were people who followed Jesus when it was popular. In other words, the way I look at it, word kind of spread, and Jesus became a popular figure.

There was a point of time, and there were moments of time in Jesus' life when it was popular to follow him. The reason I say that is because there can come times in our lives, in our church experience, and even among, in the world around us, where calling yourself a Christian or being a Christian can be the popular thing.

We live in an age where there are probably larger congregations of churches than there have ever been. The concept of mega churches probably didn't exist, you know, a few, even a hundred years ago, let's say, but now we have the means to do that.

You can have tens of thousands of people. So there can come a time when it is popular, when a church becomes popular, or the name of a church becomes well known, and you can be identified with Jesus in a popular way, which doesn't cost you something, doesn't require the reproach of Christ, and I think this is what happened here.

It says the people who were with him, because they'd seen the miracle that he'd done, and who doesn't want to be with somebody who's gonna raise somebody from the dead, right? Who doesn't want to be around a man?

Who doesn't want to be around Jesus? If you know that, he'll do good things for you. It's kind of like saying, who doesn't want to live with Santa Claus? I mean, children, you know, there's no Santa Claus, but imagine if you were to go to children and say, hey, you have the opportunity to live with Santa Claus.

To people who think that Santa Claus is this gift-giving person, it's a popular thing to do. Who wouldn't want to live with, or with a rich uncle? Maybe that's a better analogy. Who doesn't want to live with a rich uncle?

Of course, and this is the mentality that a lot of people had at this time, because guess what? If you have a brother who dies, or you have somebody who dies, he'll raise him from the dead too, perhaps.

So the people who were with him when he called Lazarus out of the tomb and raised him from the dead, continue to testify about him. Now these weren't his disciples who had forsaken everything. These were the ones who liked being around Jesus when it felt good.

For this reason, verse 18, also, the people went and met him because they heard that he had performed this sign. So a bunch of other people joined them as well. And then the Pharisees said to one another, you see that you are not doing any good.

Look, the world has gone after him. They started fighting within themselves. Then Jesus' fame spreads even more. Look at verse 20. Greeks, non-Jews, people from far-off countries, who maybe who were there, there were some Greeks among those who were going up to worship at the feast.

These then came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida of Galilee, and began to ask him, saying, Sir, we wish to see Jesus. The fame of Jesus has now spread even to the Greeks. People are thronging in their coming, saying, hey, we want to see Jesus.

We want to see Jesus. That can even happen to the church of today, the true church of Jesus Christ, where it starts to become popular, where where maybe the influence of a church, the messages that go out from a church, start to spread out into different places.

Philip, verse 22, came and told Andrew. Andrew and Philip came and told Jesus. Look at Jesus' answer. And Jesus answered them, saying, the hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Think about, think about the situation here.

Here's these people that have come from far off, and they're thronging to see Jesus. It's kind of like, hey, we hear about this guy. We want to meet Jesus. We want to meet Jesus. Imagine if a whole bunch of people walked in this door.

Says, hey, we want to know about River of Life. We've heard about you. We've heard about, maybe they mention your name. We've, we've heard about you. We want to know more about you. And our response is, this, the hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified.

Now, if the story ended there, if there was not a verse 24, we would have, we would be, I would have a completely different message for today. What did Jesus mean when he said, the hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified?

See, when you and I think glorification, we think somehow God is going to lift us up. This hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified, because all these people are thronging, and they're coming here to listen to the preaching, or to do this, or to do that, or to be around us.

The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. This is the world's way of thinking, what glorification is. But like he says in Isaiah, as high as the heaven is above the earth, so higher the thoughts of God above our thoughts.

In fact, you can think of it like this, that it's upside down. The world's way of thinking is upside down. So imagine if all of us was upside down. What we thought was up, would actually be down, right?

Picture that for a moment, children. Let's say you were upside down, and we're all hanging upside down, and you're pointing up. You would actually be pointing down in the real world. So if you hung me upside down, and I'm pointing what I think is up, that's actually down.

This is exactly what Jesus was showing. What we're going to see here is that what he meant by glorification is this, that the Son of Man must go down, must die. And unless we change our way of thinking, unless we allow ourselves to be turned right side up, so that we realize that what God thinks of as glorification is the exact opposite of what the world thinks of as glorification.

I want my life to be a glorification of God. Let me put it that way. I don't want to be glorified. I don't want to take any glory. But I want my life to be a glorification to God. And in order for that to happen, that doesn't mean that somehow I will be lifted up.

It means that I will go into the ground and die. We read that Jesus said in another place, that if I be lifted up, if I the Son of Man be lifted up, I will draw all men to myself, Jesus said. I thought about that verse.

That must be the means by which God draws people into our midst, to integrate them into the body of Christ, into this local expression of the body of Christ. How is that going to happen? I've always thought, Lord, it must be.

He said, I will draw all men to myself. We don't want to draw all men to ourselves, because what we do as a result of our drawing will be the work of man. It will die with us. But if Jesus is lifted up in my life, in your life, in our marriages, in our homes, and in this church, it's a promise.

I will draw all men to myself. But what does, what was he talking about? Was he talking about his ascension? What do you think? Because he says, maybe we should look at it. John chapter 3. No, it's not John 3.

Anybody remember where it is? 12. Oh, it's in the same chapter. Yeah. Yeah. So there it is in verse 31. Um, actually it's in a, in a, in a parallel. Yeah. So there it is. Verse 32. If I am lifted up from the earth, I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself.

This is later on in the same context where he's talking about, if I am lifted up, I will draw all men to myself. And you might think, okay, Lord, that means you're going to go sit on high and rule from heaven and command that people obey you.

If I be lifted up, I will draw all men to myself. What was Jesus talking about? He's very clear in verse 33. He was saying this to indicate the kind of death by which he was to die. See the lifting up of Jesus?

He was saying, if I be lifted up. You have to really point down because we're still upside down from the world standpoint. If I be lifted up, if I be lifted up, and if the church be lifted up, if you, my dear brother and sister, be lifted up, if you in your marriage are lifted up, if you and your home are lifted up, I'm pointing down to reinforce that this is what it means to be lifted up.

What does it mean then for God to lift up River of Life Christian Fellowship, to lift up this church? Does it mean that all of a sudden there'll be throngs of people coming in and people will be talking all over town about revival in our church?

I pray that God brings a wholehearted following him in every day of our lives, a constant repentance and following after him wholeheartedly, but that lifting up may not and quite likely will not look like this, but I know it will look like this.

The outward manifestation of that lifting up is up to God. How many or how much he allows our recognition in this world to happen is up to the Lord. What is up to us is how much down will we go. If I be lifted up, Jesus said, I will draw all men and by this he was talking about the kind of death he would suffer.

And then so when he said in verse 23 that the hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified, he clarifies in verse 24 what it was he was talking about. Truly, truly I say to you, in other words he's saying get this disciples, when I'm talking about glorification, I want you to see truly, truly I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone, but if it dies it bears much fruit.

I brought a grain of something, it's not wheat, okay, it's the closest thing to it, it's lentil actually. You guys can see it? Nope, I just dropped it, so I brought a few extra because I had a feeling that might happen.

That's a grain of lentil, it's a close thing to a grain of wheat, it's pretty small. If you look carefully, you can see it. If I put it even that far, I can barely see it. This is a grain of wheat, very, very, very small.

But you know that even this, and you might think, well Lord, we're small, I'm small, I'm insignificant, what's my purpose in life? Like my job, it just goes through the motions, or my life just seems sort of mundane and small, like a grain of wheat.

But Jesus didn't say that you must become like a grain of wheat in order to experience his glorification. What did he say must happen to this grain of wheat? Must die. The difference between something that is small and something that is dead, is the difference between heaven and earth, earth and heaven.

Dying to Self Rather Than Merely Being Small

Smallness, that's out of your control. The smallness of your life, maybe you feel like God has drawn a very small circle around you, very few friends, very insignificant life, kind of just, oh, nothing to brag about.

They're not gonna write a biography about a grain of wheat. But that in itself doesn't mean that God will use you for his purpose. There's something that must happen to this grain of wheat. Because it's very easy for people, for us to think that because we are small in any circumstance, whether it's in our individual life, or in our marriage, or in our home, or in the church, or in our influence, in our jobs, whatever it might be, you think, my life's pretty small.

It's a small insignificant life. But Jesus has one command for you with your small insignificant life, fall into the ground and die. And there are many people who are big grains, let's say, huge, you know, huge kernel, one big kernel of corn, let's say, that you might see in a museum or something like that.

It's fake, obviously, if it's that big. And then there are others who are small. And you might think, because we preach, we might think because we preach the message of discipleship, I must be spiritual because I'm small.

That's not what Jesus was saying. Just because you're small, just because you feel small, just because you think you're small, just because you've been despised, just because you feel left out or alone doesn't mean that you're spiritual.

There's one and only one way for this small insignificant thing to bear much fruit. Otherwise, it will remain alone. But if it does die, it bears much fruit. He who loves his life, says, I love my life, even though it's insignificant.

I'm gonna try to make this little grain of wheat bigger in my own strength. Breathe a little hot air into it or puff it up a little bit. Add a little bit. These are grains of wheat trying to puff themselves up.

Or maybe even, I mean, here's a whole bag of them. You can kind of see them. It's still small and insignificant. Grains of wheat. You know why these grains of wheat are still alone, even though they're in the same ziplock packet?

And you know that River of Life Christian Fellowship could be like this. Grains of wheat sitting next to each other, week after week. Maybe we even hang out on a few days during the week, but we're alone.

There's only one thing, my dear brothers and sisters, that will preserve us until the coming of Christ. It's not that we do more activities together. It's not that we do better activities together. It's not that we change the format of things or change this or change that.

There's only one thing, Jesus said, will cause these grains to bear fruit. To bear much fruit. That is a death. And that's up to you. It's up to you and I. So a grain of wheat that's small and lonely, it's just a grain of wheat.

But a dead grain of wheat. Broken. Powerful. There's an even greater example of this, actually, if you know your physics, you know science a little bit. You know about the atom. The atom is even, I mean, this consists of many, many, many millions, perhaps, of atoms.

Every one of these. So an atom is even smaller than a grain of wheat. It's like millions of atoms make up a grain of wheat. So you can imagine how small an atom is. So small that you can't even see it with the naked eye.

You need a microscope. What if you thought, okay, Lord, I was a grain of wheat, pretty small, but then I became even smaller, like an atom. I'm talking about quantity-wise, size-wise now. You feel like you've become smaller.

Do you know that an atom itself, yeah, it's useful. It's what makes up matter. But do you know that there's a power that's within that atom that's waiting to be unleashed? And that's unleashed through a process called nuclear fission.

Fission is where you take this atom and separate what's within the atom, the neutrons and the protons and the electrons. You split them apart. The result of that is what we call an atomic reaction. Powerful enough to destroy a city like it did in Japan about 70 years ago.

The atomic bomb was released, was set off by many little atoms being split. And the force of that atom being split was so powerful that it could destroy an entire city. And now, hopefully they use it for positive, nuclear energy comes from the splitting of this atom.

It's another beautiful picture there. Think about an atom that's even smaller than a grain of wheat, but it's small and lonely. Sadly, I think there are many people sitting in churches, lonely. Even in the mega of mega churches, lonely.

They have all the activities and all the opportunities. Even some of the richest people in the world find themselves lonely. That's why the rate of suicide is so high. Even among the celebrities. That in itself ought to tell us that the secret to being coming out of loneliness or to being set to finding that friend in Jesus is not that I add more or do this or change some outward circumstance.

Jesus was very clear. Fall into the ground and die. Like an atom, allow yourself to be split, to be broken. And the power that comes out of that is something that God can use. An atom by itself, small and lonely, but a split atom, broken and powerful.

I want to do this. What this speaks about, if you can forward to that next slide, I guess The difference, essentially my dear brothers and sisters, the difference between smallness and brokenness, like I was saying.

Here's the thing, smallness is not our choice. If you have a small life, if you have a small world, if you have a small family, and by small I don't even necessarily mean quantity, but in terms of, you know, you look at your life and think it's so small, it's so insignificant.

That's beyond your control. And let's say even as a church we think, oh we're so small. We're actually a lot bigger than Jesus Church. But let's say we have this feeling, we're so small. What does that mean?

Smallness in itself is not within our control. That's up to the Lord, right? The quantity of things, it's up to the Lord. But brokenness is up to you. And that's the difference between whether you will experience the power of God, which will not happen if you're just a small thing, or a small person, or a small home, or a small church.

But the difference between smallness and brokenness, whether you will go from being just a small person to a broken person, is up to you. It's up to you and I. Will we allow God to break us through the circumstances in our life despite the fact that we're small?

And you might look at at yourself as this grain of wheat and thinking, Lord, how much more brokenness do you want me to go through? I'm pretty broken itself as it is. And I confuse smallness with brokenness.

See, brokenness is an internal thing. You can only find out whether this grain is broken. How will you find out, children, whether this grain is broken and dying or dead? Jesus said, put it into the ground.

So when God takes you and your small world and puts it into the ground in a hole two feet deep or a foot deep, now the process has begun. The process of brokenness has begun. Unless this small grain of wheat fall into the ground and die, it remains alone.

But if it does, it bears much fruit. So I want to show you a few examples in the next four or five minutes from Scripture of men who had small lives, people who had small lives, and then God took them and broke them.

Jacob: God Wins Through Humbling and Weakness

Turn with me to Genesis chapter 32. Sometime this week, if you have time, I encourage you to go back and read the stories of these four people and examples from their lives. The first is Jacob. Jacob.

I want to show you this verse in Genesis 32 verse 28. When Jacob's name was, you know the story of Jacob, right? He was small. He was despised by his father. He had to run away from home because he stole.

In fact, he was so small that he had to use deception to accomplish his purpose. The blessing was going to go to his older brother. And so because he felt small and insignificant and left out, he decided, I'm going to grab.

And he managed to get the blessing, but then he had to run. And then he runs to his uncle's home and there he's taken advantage of by his uncle Laban. He wants to marry a girl and he's deceived by his uncle into marrying another girl.

And then he has to work for seven, fourteen years in all, to marry this girl he really wants. And here's this small Jacob. Now he's coming back to the air. It's not yet called Israel, but the land of Canaan.

And his brother is coming out to meet him and he's afraid. And he feels very small. And he hears that Esau's coming with, I think it says 400 men. And he feels small. But God hadn't yet broken him. There was a process that was leading up to the brokenness.

He got smaller and smaller and smaller. And now he's afraid of his own brother. And then God meets with him. And he wrestles with him. And he pokes his thigh and dislocates his hip socket. And now for the rest of his life, Jacob's going to walk with a limp.

And Jacob was actually not that old. I mean he was probably middle-aged by the standards of people's age at that time. Imagine if I walked up here with a cane, limping up here. You think, man, is he really that old?

What's up with the cane, man? Why do you look so haggard and broken? Because the Lord had broken Jacob. It says in Hebrews 11 about Jacob that he worshipped, leaning on his staff. Is that an act of faith?

What do you think? You know that verse in Hebrews. Let me look at it real quickly. Keep a finger in Genesis 32. We'll come back to it. Hebrews 11 verse 21. In the midst of all of these people who tore down walls and opened the mouth, shut the mouth of lions and went through the fire and had children when they were in their 90s and 100 and offered up, you know, went to a land they didn't know.

And Noah was saved. And in the midst of all of that, what does it say about Jacob? He worshipped on his, leaning on his staff. You see the act of faith? It took not just the act of faith to lean on his staff.

The years of faith it took for Jacob to get to the point where he was leaning on his staff. Because God had broken him. So broken that he had to lean on his staff for the second half of his life. By faith, Jacob worshipped, leaning on his staff.

But this is the phrase I wanted you to see. After he wrestles and now Jacob's finally broken, will remain broken for the rest of his life. It says in verse 28, the angel says to Jacob, he said, your name shall no longer be deceiver, small man who takes advantage of others.

But God won. You know that's the meaning of the word Israel. God prevailed. What will be the story of your life at the end of your life? What will they write as the epitaph on your tombstone? He was a good man.

He lived a good life. Survived by his wife and children or survived by her husband and children or grandchildren or whatever. Is this the testimony that we want people to give about us? Or will it be said by the Holy Spirit, God won in his life.

God won in her life. We want to win. We are always fighting with others. We're always trying to protect what's our own and prove that we're better than others. And God is looking for a people whom he can break and about whom he can say, I won.

Come Lord, win in my life. Let's say that about us in our marriages. Let's say that about us as a church. It doesn't matter what people think about us. We might look defeated. But you know what they don't know in secret is that God was the one who prevailed over us.

We went into the ground and died. God won. This is the meaning of Israel. Will you let God win in your marriage? Husband? Wife? Will you fall into the ground and die? And you say, maybe your husband or your wife thinks that they won the argument.

Joseph: God’s Purpose Through Betrayal and Suffering

But you know what? You know. God knows. He won. You humbled yourself. You allowed yourself to be broken. God won. The next example we see is Joseph. Joseph says, you know the story of Joseph. He was despised by his own brothers.

Taken advantage of. He was mistreated. Finally they threw him, turned with me to Genesis 15. They threw him into a pit. I mean his own brothers threw him into a pit. Pretty sad. Then they weren't done with that.

They sold him into slavery. I mean talk about this. Your life getting progressively smaller. God is breaking Joseph. Smaller. He goes from being despised by his brothers. At least they leave him alone.

Then they have a chance. They throw him into a pit. Then they have another chance. They sell him into slavery. He gets sold to Potiphar. And now it looks like his star is starting to rise. But God says, no you gotta, you're not deep enough yet for you to bear fruit.

I'm sure Joseph by the time he got to Potiphar's life thought, well Lord you've broken me enough. Isn't this, isn't this about as low as I can go? And God says, no you got to go lower. So he allows him to rise a little bit.

He rises to the top of Potiphar's household. Overseeing all of Potiphar's household. And God says, Joseph I'm not done with you. He allows him to be falsely accused. Because he said, I've got something to accomplish.

Joseph I have a purpose for you that's greater than anything that you can see right now. In order for that to happen. In order for you to really be the glorification of God. Because it says that he was there to preserve God's people.

God's name was going to be glorified. And in order for that Joseph had to go down. He goes down. Goes down. He's falsely accused. Sent further down. Thrown into jail. Falsely. Then he's in jail and all of a sudden his star starts to rise a little bit.

In jail. The jailer makes him in charge of all of his household. I mean all of the prison. God's not done yet. He says you got to die some more. The butler is released from jail. You know the story. And he goes to the Pharaoh's house and completely forgets about Joseph.

What do you think was going through Joseph's mind as he sees his grain of wheat go further into the ground. When the butler forgets about him. And weeks go on. Months go by. I did good to that person.

And he rewarded me by forgetting about me. That's what Joseph felt. When the butler forgot about him. But God hadn't forgot about him. One day at this right time God lifted up Joseph. But listen to what he says.

This is the verse I want you to know. See. At the end of Joseph's life. You know he later on that his brothers come back into his life and they have the opportunity to to you know they think he'll he'll take advantage of them.

Now he'll get back of them for what he did. But he says in verse 19 of Genesis 50 they were afraid. And they says listen Joseph we will be nice to you. We'll serve you. We mean we will mean to you and all that.

But we know you have the authority to destroy us. Please be nice to us. And he said Jason listen. Joseph said to them verse 19 don't be afraid for am I not in God's place. This is the testimony of God of Joseph's life.

I'm in God's place. You guys mistreated me. You guys meant. No he goes on to say am I am I in God's place. I think there's two meanings to that. One is am I God to take advantage of you. But another translation of that says am I not in God's place.

Have I not come to where God has done well with done well for me. Am I in God's place. As for you you meant evil against me. But God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result to preserve many people alive.

This is the grain of wheat bearing much fruit. The entire line of Israel including Jesus who was to come physically through the line of Judah was preserved through Joseph's falling into the ground. Judah would never have survived this famine if it hadn't been for Joseph.

So even though the line came from Judah God had to use Joseph and his brokenness to bring about his eternal purpose. Joseph was being prophetic when he said you meant evil against me but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result to preserve many people alive.

I'm going to dismiss the children now. Children you can go to your Sunday school classes and I just have a couple more people I want to talk about here before I close and hand off to the time of sharing.

Thanks children. You can go to your Sunday school classes. Number 16. I want to show you Moses. But remember that too brothers and sisters I think it's significant what Joseph said am I in God's place to judge you or to take advantage of you.

Let's say somebody who has hurt you or done some wrong to you is now at your mercy. What will you do? Or you find out some information about them. Will you spread it? Will you take God's place to pronounce judgment on those who have wronged you or done harm to you?

Moses: Brokenness Expressed in Dependence on God

Am I in God's place is a powerful word that Joseph said. Number 16 verse 4. Moses was small in a little wicker basket. Then God allowed him to be lifted up but because he identified with the people of God his life got small again and he was on the run and he went off and lived in the far-off land and married this woman and had to live with her father, live with his father-in-law.

This life got small and broken during that time for 40 years. I mean that's about as old as many of us. 40 years of brokenness in the prime of his life when he could have done so much for God. God said no I want to go hide you in a far-off land and I want you to hide you under your father-in-law and live there and be broken and broken and broken to the point where later on now after 40 years God says now you're ready Moses.

You're so broken that you can't even speak. Historians say that he probably had a stammer when he said I can't even speak let Aaron be my mouthpiece. Either he was so shy and so nervous that he didn't want to speak or he had a speech impediment.

Either way regardless this was a broken man but you know the result of that brokenness is that when he was confronted and his own brother and well first you read about Miriam and Aaron confronted him and here you see when Korah, Dathan and Abiram came and confronted Moses in front of all the people.

It says in verse 4 look at Moses of response when Moses heard this they brought these accusations and these complaints against Moses. Who says that God only speaks through you? Look at Moses response.

He doesn't defend himself. When Moses heard this and this is the man who had part the river the Red Sea. He had hit yet I don't know what all had happened at this point but water had come out of a rock.

Manna had come down from heaven. He had at his lifting up of the rod that the plagues had come on the land of Egypt and this was a man mightily used of God and Korah, Dathan and Abiram confronted him and when Moses heard this he didn't stand up and say don't you guys know weren't you there when I did this and I said that and this happened and God used me.

Look at the response of a broken man. He fell on his face and he spoke to Korah and all his company saying tomorrow morning the Lord will show who is his. This is the mark of a broken man. I'm not gonna fight.