Weeping Over the Provision of God — Carter Conlon

Happy Father's Day again for all the fathers that are here. Now, what I'm about to speak might seem a rather odd message for Father's Day. I've grappled with it a little bit, but it really is what the Lord gave me.

And in just obedience to that, I'm going to speak what the Lord has put on my heart. From Numbers chapter 11, please, in the Old Testament. Weeping over the provision of God. Weeping over the provision of God.

Father, I thank you for the anointing. I thank you for the strength of the Holy Spirit. I thank you, God, that your hand always comes down on this pulpit and whoever stands here. We never have to speak in our own strength.

We never have to fight with our own reasoning. There's a supernatural provision of the Holy Spirit always available. I'm asking, Lord, for that same provision to be given to the hearers today. That we be given the supernatural ability to hear this word.

To embrace it deep in our hearts. Take this where you want it to go, Lord. I have no preconceived idea or notion of what you want to do. I'm yielding it to you, Lord, and I'm asking you, God. All I ask is Jesus Christ be glorified.

Let your heart be satisfied when this day is done. I thank you in your precious name. Amen. Please remember the service at 3 o 'clock today and 6 o 'clock evangelistic service here at Times Square Church.

And for all of our guests, there's fellowship times that you've heard about prepared for you. Be well worth your while to make the effort to go out and be part of that. Numbers chapter 11, beginning at verse 4.

Israel’s Weeping Over the Manna

And the mixed multitude that was among them fell a lusting. And the children of Israel also wept again and said, who shall give us flesh to eat? We remember the fish which we did eat in Egypt freely. The cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions and the garlic.

Isn't it amazing about the human condition how we forgot about the bondage, the sorrow, the beatings, the despair, the cry. Now it's just all about food and cucumbers. But now our soul is dried away. And there's nothing at all besides this manna before our eyes.

And the manna was this coriander seed in the color as the color of bdellium. And the people went about and gathered it and ground it in mills or beat it in a mortar and baked it in pans and made cakes of it.

And the taste of it was as the taste of fresh oil. And when the dew fell upon the camp in the night, the manna fell upon it. Then Moses heard the people weep throughout their families, every man in the door of his tent.

And the anger of the Lord was kindled greatly. Moses was also displeased. Now, beloved, this is a story of divine provision. Every day, every day is bread of heaven provided by God. It had to be an incredible bread.

It would be nutritionally complete. It would offer strength, hope, life. And above all, it would be a daily reminder that they were following and loved by a God of miracles. Isn't that amazing? No wonder Jesus Christ said, pray this way, give us this day our daily bread.

This is the manna from heaven. This is the word of God. This is what you and I are called to go out as the children of Israel were early in the morning. We're called to gather from this book. And from the words of this book, we're to find strength and nurture and life.

And the scripture says, and the taste of it in verse 8 was as the taste of fresh oil. It speaks to me about the anointing. Yesterday's anointing, thank God for yesterday, but yesterday is over. Thank God for the times when we've been in places where we've known victory, we've had strength, we've sang the songs of Zion and all the rest of it, but that's over.

We live in today, and tomorrow is coming upon us very, very shortly. I don't know about you, but I need fresh oil. I need fresh oil every day. I need to be in this book. I need God to speak into my heart.

I need to be gladdened by the word of God. And if I'm not gladdened, I'll end up like those men in the book of Acts on the road to Emmaus. A history, a past hope. We had hope, we had hope, we thought, we felt.

And that's, if we're careless with the word of God, that's exactly what can happen to us. I shall be anointed, the psalmist says in Psalm 92, verse 10, with fresh oil. Verses 9 to 14 in the same psalm, it basically says this.

The enemies of truth will be scattered and perish, but I will flourish, and I will still bring forth fruit in old age. Thank God for that. God gives a provision and a promise to you today, sir. Madam, that no matter how old you get or how long you be, God blesses you on the earth.

Every day you can still go to this book and every day fresh provision will be given to you. You'll finish the course of the green tree, not withered up, not talking about the past. That's why God said to the prophet Joel, when the Holy Spirit comes, your old men will dream dreams.

That doesn't mean the Holy Spirit's gonna come and all the old men are just gonna go home and sleep. The context in the original text is a vision of the future. Your old men will not be relegated to speaking about the past, but will have a vision of the future.

Will have something to say to the next generation. Will still be blessing, right to the final day of their lives, they'll still be blessing. Like Jacob, to lift your feet up into your bed and call your family together and still blessing.

Even in the last moments of life, that's the secret prayer of my heart. Well, it's not secret anymore, I've just told you about it, I guess. But that in the end of my days, in the last hour of my life, I'll still be speaking the blessing of God.

Still be encouraging whoever's in the room, starting with my own family. To go on with God, to find the provision of God, to live a life that is worthwhile in the sight of God. To not settle for mediocrity, but allow the might of God to be manifested in you on the earth.

Do exploits for God, know Him and let Him begin to do His work as we saw today on this platform with Patrick and Angela and their baby. Going off in one sense saying we're the least skilled, but in a secondary sense, that's the most qualified candidate.

It's actually better than somebody who's got it all together and knows how to do everything. Better to have somebody there who's going to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. When God says, here, go there, speak to this person, go to that village, don't go there.

Amazing. David the psalmist in Psalm 23 verse 5, he says, Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. Thou anointest my head with oil and my cup runs over. David said he knew this table.

He knew where his strength was found, he knew that coming to the table of God, he would find strength and he would be daily anointed. And there would be such a provision, such a supply that he couldn't keep it to himself.

Remember when you first got saved, you knew this instinctively. Remember how you couldn't stop talking about the things of God. You remember your cup ran over, you remember how hungry you were for the word of God.

Isn't it ironic that you can get to be 10, 15, 20 years in the Lord, and now it's hard to get anything up to the brim of the cup, let alone have it run over. It becomes difficult to speak when in the beginning, instinctively, you knew that your supply was in God.

You knew that everything you had had come from heaven. And you read this book and you went into it and daily gathered from it and gleaned from it. And what incredible strength it brought into your heart.

Fresh Oil and Daily Meditation

Psalm 119, the psalmist says in verse 97, It is my meditation all the day. Do you remember that day? Hopefully it's not a memory. Hopefully it's still alive. Do you remember the day when you'd read something in the Bible and all day it would just be rolling over and over.

God has not given me a spirit of fear, but a power of love and a sound mind. There was a time in my early life as a Christian when I still was struggling with fear. But I read a promise in the word of God and that promise germinated and rolled over.

Oh, how I love thy law. It's my meditation all the day. God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a power and love and a sound mind. And then when fear would try to come, God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a power and love and a sound mind.

When Satan came in his full force against me, God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a power and love and a sound mind. The psalmist says in verse 59 of Psalm 119, I thought on my ways and turned my feet to thy testimonies.

In other words, I thought about where you were leading me. I thought about how I was living. I thought about what you were asking me because you were speaking very directly into my heart. And I turned my feet unto thy testimonies.

Patrick Gilbert told me that when he would be sitting here playing the organ, he would look out at this church, he would see the magnificence of the sanctuary, he would hear the praises of God's people and he would say in his heart, this is a dream.

This is everything I've ever longed for. Why would I ever forsake this? Why would I ever walk away from this? But yet in his heart there was a stirring. There was this little church in the midst of India.

And he had been there and he had seen it and he had seen the poverty of the children. And God was beginning to speak to his heart. And it got to the point where he found it difficult to play because there was such a conviction of God.

The psalmist says, I thought about my ways and turned my feet unto where your word was leading me. I became the man that you were calling me to be. I went down the pathway that you were calling me to go in.

This manner was divine provision. This divine provision was leading each person to a special place. And that's a place where the redemption in the earth of God would be brought to reputation through them.

Remember Peter said, be always ready to give an answer to those who ask for a reason for the hope that is in you. You and I are not to have the same spirit that's found in this world that is living without God.

We have a different mindset. We have a different heart. We have a different life. We have a different purpose. And the Lord says, I'm going to give you that soundness of heart and that soundness of mind.

And I'm going to bring my own name to reputation through you. That should be the cry of your heart every day, my friend. Jesus Christ, bring yourself to reputation. Take me somewhere I can't go. Give me something I don't possess.

Do something in me that astounds me. Guide me, lead me. Order my steps in your word. Give me, oh God, the ability that I need to do things that will bring glory to your name. That should be the constant cry.

Folks, we can't win a city in the natural. We have to win the city in the supernatural. There's no other way. And if you are like this young man was today and you feel the least qualified, then you're actually very blessed.

The Danger of Looking Back

Because God usually has to get rid of all the people who feel that they're qualified to actually be God inside of his church. Now knowing this, Numbers 11 again, verses 4 to 6. The mixed multitude that was among them fell a lusting, and the children of Israel wept again and said, Who shall give us flesh to eat?

We remember the fish which we did eat in Egypt freely, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic. Now our soul is dried away and there's nothing at all besides this manna before our eyes.

Now knowing this, what possibly could cause such a spiritually deplorable condition to arise among so many people? Knowing that we serve a God of the miraculous, knowing that just shortly before they had been divinely delivered, sovereignly released, they had seen a sea part on the left and on the right.

They had gone through on dry ground. Not only did the sea part, but miraculously the ground was dried where the sea had been. They had seen the armies of the enemies trying to pursue them and captivate them, and they had drowned in the same sea through which they had walked through in the provision of God.

Now they were being taken to a place of promise. In the Christian context, of course, it's the full life of Christ that culminates when we're in heaven with Him forever. But on the earth, it's the understanding that we've already received that kingdom.

Paul said to the Ephesian church, we're already seated in Him in heavenly places. Every morning, could you imagine going out on the ground on this journey to the place of promise and this divine provision is on the ground.

How could you and I get to a place of weeping? It says that Moses and God heard the people weep throughout their families. Every man in the door of his tent. I can't even fathom that. If heaven has a video section, I want to see this when I get there.

How are the fathers? It says every man, how are the fathers in the door of the tents weeping? Oh, it's so hard and all we have is this manna. Life is gone. My soul is dried up. There's nothing before my eyes.

I don't see a future. I don't see a hope. Don't see life. Don't understand where I'm going. I want to go back. I want to go back to where I left. And in reality, the insanity of it. I want to go back to making bricks to build monuments for men's egos.

I want to go back to being slaves with no chance of any advancement in society whatsoever. I want to go back to groaning and crying. Actually, they were already going back because they were becoming what they had been before they were delivered.

Because they failed to see where they were going and understand the divine provision that was given them. Luke 17, 32, Jesus said, Remember Lot's wife, a lady who was being delivered out of a city that was about to perish.

And she looked back, even though she was told not to look back. And folks, may I plead with you. May I plead with you as your pastor, don't look back. There's nothing there. Don't look back longingly at what you're leaving behind.

If God's calling you somewhere, go where God is calling you. If He's calling you to be something, be what God is calling you to be. Don't look back. There was nothing there. That's why you came to Christ in the first place.

Because there was nothing there. So don't look back. And looking back, the scripture says, she turned into a pillar of salt. Remember Christ himself said, If the salt loses its saltiness, what is it good for?

It's good for nothing but to be cast down and trodden under the foot of men. Now, salt is to give flavor. Salt preserves. Salt causes thirst. And that's what you and I are to be going through this world.

Giving flavor, in a sense, the flavor of God. The savor of Christ in difficult situations. A word of hope. Something of encouragement. Something of strength. Our words are not to be like the words of a perishing world.

Like Paul on the deck of the ship. Saying you should have listened, but now be of good cheer. I've been with God. God's spoken in my heart. And I know how to get to where we need to go. Our words have to be like that.

Our words must cause thirst in the hearts of those that are coming after us. He said, otherwise this salt is discounted. It's trodden under the feet of men. And think about lost wife for a moment. Looking back.

Turning into a pillar of salt. Not looking forward to what was ahead. And how different history would be. How different it would be had she been looking ahead and gone with her husband and two daughters.

There would be two enemies of Israel. The Ammonites and the Moabites that would not have been created. She looked back not knowing what heartache it was going to bring into her own home. What difficulty into the lives of her own children.

If you're looking back, sir, you have nothing to say to your children. If you're looking back longingly at some lust that you left behind. There'd be very little of life that comes out of your mouth. Very little that causes your sons and daughters and any other child to want to walk with God.

You can see this woman turning into a pillar of salt. And over time, more or less just decaying into the dust. Years later, perhaps, caravans, tribes, people just trotting over where she used to be. Unaware that this was a person one time that had an opportunity to do something that would bring glory to the name of God.

What a tragedy when people can no longer see a divine purpose for their lives. And the word of God becomes a boring and a closed book. Verse 6 says, there's nothing at all. Our soul is dried away and there's nothing at all besides this manna before our eyes.

Treating the Word of God With Reverence

Now, how did they get this way? Is the logical question. And remember, in the New Testament, it says everything that happened to Israel is written for our sakes. To learn from it. And the scripture also says, beware when you think you stand, lest you fall.

I think the clue is right in the scripture itself. In verse 8. It says, the people went about and gathered it and ground it in mills and beat it in a mortar. Baked it in pans and made cakes of it and the taste was as the taste of fresh oil.

As with all spiritual things, I think it's just a casual way. They viewed the supernatural provision of God and began to handle it every day. Beware, my friend, when this becomes a casual book to you.

Beware when you lose the awe of what is written in these pages. These are not just words. This is the word of the living God. And by the power of the Holy Spirit, this book becomes alive in you and me.

And we are changed. As we behold him, the scripture says, we are changed. Into the very nature of our Christ. The very character of our Christ becomes our character. But be very careful. You remember Uzzah, the young man that when God stopped David's parade.

And they took the ark and put it in this house of a man called Obed-Edom. And there was a young man in that house called Uzzah. And he would come down every day into the main part of the house. And there's the ark of God.

A reverenced, feared thing that represented the presence of God among humanity at that time. And he just got used to it being in the dining room maybe. Got used to walking by it, going to the kitchen.

He got so casual with the ark of God. He failed to understand the holiness. He failed to understand the power that was in that representation of God in that generation. And when David finally called for the ark of God.

You remember that Uzzah, well this was before Obed-Edom actually. I've got the sequence wrong. But you remember that Uzzah was driving a cart with his brother. And the oxen stumbled and he put his hand out to try to steady the ark.

See that's one of the marks of casualness. Is that we come to believe that it's our responsibilities to somehow hold God up. To somehow make him look good. To make him palatable maybe to the masses. Because he can't do it on his own.

The Bible says they picked up this man and they ground it in mills. Now some people, I'm going to speak of these as a type. Some see the word of God as just principles to be gathered to enhance their business.

That's how they see God's word. They glean it and they look through it. Oh that should do me well, that should do me well. And it's all just about commerce and trade. And it's a casual handling of the word of God.

It can bring a spiritual dullness that suddenly comes to a person. They don't know why it's happened. Why have I lost heart? Why have I lost hope? Why don't I see this book as sovereign and supernatural anymore?

Others beat it in a mortar. They tried to make it, in other words, more pleasant to the taste. Tried to make it more palatable. Paul said to the Corinthian church, I fear for you, he said, lest when somebody comes with another Jesus, you might actually have developed a taste for it.

You might have become so casual with the presence of God, you might actually think this is Christ. Even though it's not the original. It's something beaten down and made more palatable. Tell me what have many of the churches in our generation been doing?

I'm not here to criticize other churches, folks. Don't misunderstand me. But what's happened to us? What is our concept of God? What's our concept of God's word? When we have to start eliminating talk of the cross, talk of the Christ, talk of the blood of Jesus Christ, the very blood that is our redemption, suddenly no longer talk about the blood in church, because that might be offensive to people.

Folks, that's taking the word of God and beating it in a mortar, and trying to present something to somebody. Here, try this. You might like this Jesus better than the original. They made cakes and things in pans.

I think others saw just the manna only in the light, a provision for themselves. They lost the taste for where the anointing was leading them. That's the bottom line. You and I are each called to be an individual miraculous testimony of the redemptive power of God.

That's where this word is leading us. To be changed by the power of God, to be made into the image of Christ, to be given a new heart, a new mind and a new spirit, to move into this mountain of failing and darkened humanity with the life and the light of Jesus Christ.

Words of knowledge, the giftings of wisdom, the power of God emanating in our lives, to be a testimony of this miraculous deliverance. That's where God's word and God's spirit is leading us. It was fresh oil, but they lost taste for it.

To be given for other people, to be given for humanity. I fear sometimes that in our day, many have lost the taste for the word of God. They've lost the taste for where it leads. The reason, the purpose that I live, what my life is to be all about.

And then when you start losing the taste for where it's leading, when it's no longer about Jesus glorifying his name through me, when it's no longer about the widow and the orphan, the oppressed, the addicted, the afflicted, the imprisoned, the hungry and the naked, when it's no longer about the word of God, we end up in our tents weeping.

I see no vision. They said, I see no future. There's no hope. There's no life. All I've got is this manna before my eyes. Every man is weeping in his tent because they have carelessly handled this supernatural provision of God.

And many think there's no price to pay for this, but it's only two chapters later in Numbers 13 when the spies are sent into the promised land. And when they needed faith the most, their faith would falter, it would fail them.

They would go into the battle. The scripture says in, I believe it's chapter 14, they would go in by presumption, only to be trodden under the feet of men. Not go in by faith, but go in by presumption, presuming that God's going to be with us.

When they had lightly esteemed his work, they had lightly esteemed his word, only to go into the battle to be slaughtered and find out that God is not with them. The testimony, trodden under the feet of men.

The Pearl of Great Price and the Kingdom of Heaven

Now Numbers 11, 7 says, the manna was as coriander seed and the color as bdellium. And that's significant. The coriander seed is in the shape of a pearl and it's resin or honey colored. It actually looked like pearls.

They're round pearl shaped seeds. And Jesus said in Matthew 13, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant man seeking goodly pearls. When he has found one pearl of great price, he went and sold all that he had and bought it.

That's what the kingdom of heaven looks like. Remember he said the kingdom of heaven is within you. He went out into the field and that speaks to me about you and me going into the field of this book every day and looking at this field and finding a pearl, finding something of God, finding something he wants to give me, a place that he wants to take me, or something in my character that must change, something that will bring God to glory inside of my life.

The kingdom of heaven is like a man who went out into a field and I have to feel that when Jesus is saying these words, he knows about the manna. He's the one who put it there in the first place. And it was shaped like a pearl.

But people were going out of their tents and they were just picking it up and it didn't mean anything to them anymore. Beware when you get to the point when you're just reading your Bible because you legally have to in your mind.

They're not gleaning anything from the word of God anymore. You're not seeing this book for what it is. He found a pearl and he went out and he said, I must have that promise. It must be mine. I will let go of whatever I have that it might be done.

I must have it. I must have it, folks. I remember when I was a young Christian, I was reading the scriptures and I went into Proverbs. I was like Gilbert shared this morning, the least qualified to do anything in the kingdom of God.

But I was reading this book and I love this book. And I read these words. My son, if you'll receive my words and hide my commandments with you, if you incline your heart to wisdom and apply your heart to understanding, if you cry after knowledge and lift up your voice for understanding, if you seek her as silver and search for her as for hid treasures, then shalt thou understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.

I had this written out on a big, big sheet of bristle board. I had a person that write it out and I tacked it to the wall in our kitchen. It was there for quite a long time until finally somebody removed it.

I'm not quite sure who that was. But every day I would come home and I would look at it. See, it was a pearl to me. I didn't understand the fear of the Lord. I didn't have the knowledge of God. I didn't feel that I had the wisdom or understanding that God wanted to give to me.

But I wanted it with all my heart. And I would look at those verses. Proverbs 2, 1 -5, I'd look at it every day in my kitchen. When I would come home from work, that's what would be facing me. When I'd get up in the morning and sit at the table, that's what I would be looking at.

When I would go down in the country and jog on the road, that was my constant prayer. God Almighty, I want to know you more than silver and gold. I want to know you. I want the fear of the Lord to be my treasure.

I want the understanding of God to be in my heart. I want to be a righteous man of God. Lord, I want to walk with you all the days of my life. I search for this knowledge. I want this knowledge, O God.

I don't casually read this book. And folks, I began to read the book. And as I began to read the Scriptures, everyday promises would come out of the Word of God. And in my heart, I would say, I must have it.

I must have that, Lord. I must have this provision. I will follow where it leads me to possess it. I must have it, God. When the Lord gave me the Word, I'm not giving you a spirit of fear, but power and love and a sound mind.

And then He called me to start speaking in small churches and small gatherings. And folks, it was personally terrifying for me to do this. But I would know that that Scripture is true and my fear was false.

And I would keep moving forward, saying, God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind. And every door He opened, I just walked through it. I must have this pearl. I must know this power of God.

I must walk in this newness of life. It is my inheritance. I'm not leaving it for someone else. I'm not going to try to change it. I'm not just going to read this book for myself. Because ultimately, the Lord showed me, it's not about you, Carter.

It's ultimately about other people. And if you want to follow me, it's going to become about other people. You're going to be poured out for other people. It's going to be a very narrow path. Sometimes it's going to be discouraging.

Sometimes there's going to be fire. Sometimes there's going to be flood. Sometimes there's going to be hardship. Sometimes there's going to be joy. But it will all be about other people. It will all be about people who need to know God.

God’s Provision in the Darkest Times

And then the last thing in the Scripture of Numbers 11, it says,. And when the dew fell upon the camp in the night, the manna fell upon it. And as I was studying this this week, it's interesting. The provision came down at the darkest time.

We're living in a very dark time. It's going to get a whole lot darker. I know we say that almost every service, but it would be wrong not to prepare you. I'm not afraid of the days ahead because Christ is already in it.

He already has you and He has me in the palm of His hand. In the New Testament, in the book of Acts, I'll just read it to you. Chapter 27. It was at that season where it says in verse 20,. Now Paul is on this ship.

This ship is trying to get to a destination. They have disregarded the Word of God. Paul had been there at the beginning of the journey. And he said, listen, I'm telling you, don't undertake this journey.

There have been many voices that have been raised in our society today. Pastor David Wilkerson has been one of them, warning about where we were going. But the voice largely has gone unheeded by this society.

Now the ship has hit the iceberg and it's beginning to spill over the water from compartment to compartment, just as happened to the Titanic, which I've always believed was a warning of God to the Western world.

After many days, it says, when neither sun nor stars in many days appeared, in verse 20, and no small tempest lay upon us, all hope that we should be saved was taken away. But after long abstinence, Paul stood forth in the midst of them.

It's been a long time. But folks, there's a short season coming when people are going to want to hear from God again. And now is the season for you and I to be prepared. Now is the time for us to get ready.

He said, Sirs, you should have hearkened to me and not loosed from Crete and to have gained this harm and loss. But now I exhort you to be of good cheer, for there shall be no loss of any man's life among you but of the ship.

There stood by me this night the angel of God, whose I am and whom I serve, saying, Fear not, Paul, you must be brought before Caesar, and, lo, God has given thee all them that sail with thee. Wherefore, sirs, be of good cheer, for I believe God it shall be even as it was told me.

In the darkest of times, Paul was in the belly of that ship. He was still gathering pearls, still gleaning from God, still holding on to the promise. In the midst of the worst of the worst of the worst times, God came to this man and said, I have a purpose for you.

It's a divine purpose. I'm going to cause you to stand when others are failing. I'm going to give you a word when nobody else knows what to do. I'm going to give you authority when even the authority of the captain of the ship is going to be lost.