Fears Within — Andy Brink

Seeking God With Desperate Hunger

How many of us, as we sit here, are truly desperate for Him? Now think about it. You know, there's a place in Proverbs chapter 2, which is a passage of Scripture that's very dear to my own heart, and it says this.

It says, When you begin to seek for wisdom, when you begin to seek for wisdom as you would gold and silver, when you begin to search for understanding as you would precious treasure, when you begin to lift up your voice for understanding and cry for wisdom, it says, then you will discern the fear of the Lord and discover the knowledge of God.

So much sometimes is withheld from us because we're not desperate for it. You know, and I have found through Scriptures and through life that a lot of times God hides Himself from the casual seeker, the one who's not desperate, the one who's not hungry, the one who's not longing.

And even as a believer, how many of us in our Christian lives, there have been points and places in our life where we've been desperate, we've been longing, we've known our need for Him. But it's like when everything starts going well, when we're back on our feet, when life's coming together, we kind of lose that sense of desperation and need, that sense of passion and hunger.

You know, how many of us have cried out to God in the midst of a tragedy or a place of turmoil in our life, and it's like God helped us through that place in our life and we grew in some areas, maybe we got some things changed in our life, made some turns, but now that's kind of past, and now we're just kind of running through the motions, you know?

And one of the things that God allows in our life at times are certain circumstances and situations in order to expose how needy we really are. You know, one thought that came to my mind as we were singing how desperate, you know, Lord I'm desperate for you, is the passage, the story about Samson.

Samson's Strength and the Necessity of Dependence

You know Samson, the man of great strength. How many of us, when you see a picture either in your Bible or maybe just the idea in your mind of Samson, how many of you see this gigantic man with big old biceps that conquered kingdoms and threw men aside and killed thousands with a jawbone?

Is that what you see in your mind? I don't know, that's what I used to always see, and whenever I was in Sunday school and they do the little boards, you know, that Samson was always depicted as this big strong guy.

You know, the guy pushing down the pillars, all the muscles bulging out and the veins popping. Really I think it was just the opposite, because the enemy around him couldn't realize or figure out why he was so strong.

It was supernatural, it was something beyond his own ability. But because it was ever-present within him, you know, you know Samson was sanctified and set apart for God, just like some of you sitting in this place.

You've got a mother, a parent, a grandparent that told you from the day you came into this world, they've looked you right in the eye and said you belong to God, and you've walked contrary to that all the days of your life.

Well, Samson did the same thing. He was a Nazirite, separated to God, and he had this great strength and ability about him. There were certain things about his life that were just abnormal. But as he began to walk, he began to break every one of those Nazirite vows one by one.

And as he began to break those things, he'd look at himself, and I still have my great strength, my youth, my power. And then there came a place, again without going through the whole story, where he was with this woman and he told her where his strength lied, and they cut his hair, and all of a sudden this man of strength was brought to a place of absolute poverty.

His strength was gone. His eyes were gouged out, and he found himself pushing this mill, mocked at, laughed by others, felt separated from family, people, lost. And all of a sudden what we find about Samson is he became desperate once again.

God brought about circumstances in his life to bring about a recognition and a realization that it never was about his strength. It was about God and the place that God held within his life. And in the place of humility, Samson cried out, and God gave him the ability once again to do more in this one act than he had done in all of his life.

What I want to look at right now as we begin to walk through the Scriptures is how God in the same way brings circumstances in our own life. And it doesn't always have to be outward circumstances. One brother this morning as he's coming in, he was sharing with me just his struggle trying to resist these thoughts and these temptations and these things coming about him, and how sometimes it just feels like I'm getting further behind than farther ahead.

Why does that happen? I want to do right. Why is there this great struggle? Why does it seem like I'm falling underneath the temptation, and it's hard to stand? Because one of the things that God does, He brings about circumstances in our life to help us come to the place of realizing it was never about our strength and ability.

It throws us upon the grace of God. I need the God help me. Jesus said, blessed, happy, fortunate to be envied are the poor in spirit. That word poor is to be as a public beggar. How many of us in the room would say, yeah I'm a public beggar.

Who would glory in that? How many times have you been on the streets or on the road or seen pictures or seen the experience of somebody out on the streets, you know, having to sign out, you know, I want food or please give me some money?

That's not the person we emulate that we want to be like. They didn't grow up their life thinking, boy when I grow up I want to sit on this corner in Houston or Dallas or Fort Worth, I want to hold a sign and and beg people for money.

And yet for some reason Jesus uses this illustration to put a picture in our mind to show us spiritually the strongest of men are the ones who recognize the poverty of their own heart and their inability to walk out this Christian life.

And their complete need day by day is for God to help them. God help me today to overcome. Help me to resist temptation. Help me to become, you know, it's that need, it's that recognition. And Jesus said, blessed is the one who walks in a day-to-day recognition that I'm in need of God today.

But I don't know about you, I find myself easily drifting from that position and I begin to think, I'm okay, I can do it. And then all of a sudden as I'm in that place, God brings about circumstances because of His love for me for me to recognize, wait a minute God, I can't do it.

I need you. I love that song, I need thee every hour. Oh, I can't remember the whole thing. Anyway, look with me in 2nd Corinthians chapter 1. I want to look at Paul's life a little bit. Now, would you agree with me probably that Paul was the Christian of Christians?

Paul's Suffering and the Death of Self-Trust

If anybody ought to know how to walk this thing out, it ought to be Paul. I mean, he wrote three-fourths of the New Testament. You'd think he's got a little bit of a handle on it. What we're going to find that even in Paul's life, there was the tendency to trust in himself, to begin to think as a Christian or as a believer that he could walk this thing out on his own.

And in 2nd Corinthians chapter 1, looking with me, let's start in verse 8. For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our troubles which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life.

Now think about that for a moment, what he's saying before we move on. He said there was something that was going on in Asia. You know, Paul was a circuit rider of his own. You know, he went to these different places, and when he was in Asia, it says they were so pressed upon by the circumstances that they faced there, that they despaired even of life.

Can you imagine Paul coming to that place? That's the same one that wrote the joy of Noah. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Rejoice in all things, and all things give thanks. This one that wrote all these great things that we quote when times are hard, was the very one himself who felt so despairing because of his outward circumstances that he was just discouraged even about life in general.

Verse 9, but we had this, but we had the sentence of death in ourselves that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead. Now listen, because of the situations they were walking in, I want to talk about these two things.

First of all, how we overcome self, I guess the word was self-trust, self-dependency, and the answer as we look through the scripture is going to be, Paul said, I've got the sentence of death within myself, which means I know that God is leading me as a lamb led into a slaughter.

He's taking me into circumstances and situations that are causing me to stop trusting myself. Count time. Two, three. Well guys, come on in, get situated, settle down, and we'll keep going through it.

Again, we're talking about God's way of putting the nail to self-trust. The place that God wants to bring us to is dependence upon Him, and he said, blessed are those who recognize their daily need, their place of dependence, and their need for God to be there in their lives, and so we were just looking at some of the things that Paul was walking through.

We're going to look at some of the characteristics of the things that he experienced at a couple of passages in the Corinthians. You know, in 2nd Corinthians chapter 11, one of the things that Paul describes is the things that he has endured as an apostle, and you know, he talks about times in which he had been beaten, times in which he had been imprisoned, times in which he had been stoned and left for dead, and he just went through.

You know, sometimes I wonder when I read through different things like that, how does that fit in sometimes with the prosperity gospel sometimes we hear today? You know, do you think that Paul wasn't God's favorite, and so he didn't really watch over Paul, and Paul went through lots of persecutions, and what do you and I do?

We come to the Lord, God begins moving our life, we have an experience with Him, and the first time somebody calls us an ugly name, God, where are you? What happened to this Christian life? I thought you're supposed to be for me, not against me.

All of a sudden, somebody begins to talk about you, and call you names, and begins to mock and ridicule your Christian faith. Paul, when he was talking to the church, he said, listen, follow the example that you see in me.

His was a life of constant struggle, difficulty. Matter of fact, in the book of Acts, it says, I think it's a, many are the tribulations of the righteous. I think that's in Psalms. What does it say in Acts?

My mind's blank, we'll read it in a minute, but there's going to be tribulations in your life as a believer. There are going to be hard things, there are going to be difficult things that you walk through, and there's going to be moments in which you feel depressed, fearful, discouraged, and how many of us, a lot of times, when we think as Christians, I shouldn't be feeling this way, and the accuser stands next to you and says, why are you feeling depressed?

Why is there fear in your life? You should be beyond that. Paul was a man who wrote portions of the Scriptures, and yet he begins to talk about some of the things that he experienced when he was going through hard times.

Fears Within and the “Nevertheless God” Response

Look with me in 2nd Corinthians chapter 7. This was a particular passage that, as I was studying this topic, it's like I've read certain, you know, you read certain passages over and over and over and over again, and, but it's not until you're looking at it through a certain light that it really stands out to you.

And right here, and starting in verse 3, I speak not this to condemn you, for I have said before that you are in our hearts to die and to live with you. Great is my boldness of speech toward you. Great is the glorying of you.

I am filled with comfort, and I am seated joyful in all of our tribulation. For when we are come into Macedonia, our flesh had no rest, but we were troubled on every side. Without were fighting, and within were fears.

Now think about that for a moment. Paul said he was going into this particular place and he said without were fighting. Now listen, that could mean outward struggles and people, you know, people confronting him maybe for the gospel, but it could also mean the circumstances fighting through things.

And he said within him, and I keep harping on this, I want you to know, again the Holy Spirit through Paul wrote 3 fourths of the New Testament. He had a pretty good handle on things, at least the Holy Spirit in him.

And yet he goes on to say there were fears within me. And a lot of times we have a tendency to think of these believers mentioned in the scriptures, like the Hebrews 11, those men of faith. We think about the disciples, we think about the people mentioned in the New Testament, and we have this idea that they were some super saint.

They were some super believer that didn't experience life in the same way you and I do. And yet Paul says here, he says there were fears within me that I was confronting, that I was facing. But then he says this next part that really stands out to me in verse 5 or verse 6.

Nevertheless God. And that one couple of words there, I just circled and underlined. Because what Paul was saying is yes, I have fears within me. I'm walking in dark places. It seems as if there are things all around me that are unfamiliar territory to me.

But nevertheless, I'm going to keep my attention on God. In this place, listen, here's one particular fear that I know affects many of you in here. All of a sudden you come up for parole. And let's say you get your F-whatever, and you're going to get out.

You've been hoping and wanting and longing for that moment, that day, to get released. And now all of a sudden fear begins to come in. And what that fear begins to say is, all right, how are you going to get a job?

What's going to happen with your family? Where am I going to go to? All these things begin to build. How am I going to make it out there? Who am I going to contact? What am I going to do? All of us experience fears.

You may not show it all the time on the outside, but Paul, even this great man of faith, had fears that he experienced within him. And yet in spite of those fears, here's what he says, nevertheless God, there are struggles going on within me.

But I'm going to keep my attention on you, and I'm going to trust that you have a purpose, you have a plan, that you're working things out. Verse 6, nevertheless God that comforted those that are cast down, comforted us by coming to Titus.

And that word, cast down, I wrote it down, let's see, verse, oh no, look with me back at 2nd Corinthians 7, and verse 8, it says, for though I made you, oh no, that wasn't what I was looking for, verse, no, wait, let me look back at verse, chapter 1, verse, yeah, back when, in chapter 1, verse 8, he talks about being, we were, we were pressed, we were pressed upon.

That word pressed, it actually means this, it's like, it's like a, a, one of those old, like you see in the, the, maybe you watched Moses, or whatever those old movies, and they've got like the donkey pulling the cart, and they used to put all these sheaves and stuff upon the cart, and that word pressed, it means so much is put upon that cart that it begins to sink down.

It begins to sink upon the load. And Paul says at times, it seems like there's so much being pressed upon me. Anybody ever been in that position? I know I have, just sometimes, matter of fact, obviously everybody's men here, you know, the, the responsibility sometimes of family, a wife, children, work, paying bills, paying the light bill, the house bill, whatever it is you face, sometimes it seems like the responsibilities of life begin to pile up, pile up, pile up, and it's like you're weighed down upon these things.

You're not the only one that's experienced that. You're not the only one that has faced those times in life. Nevertheless, God, nevertheless, He's there to be a strength to you, and what He has promised is, I will comfort you in the midst of that place, and there's a reason, which we're going to look at in Scripture right now, there's a reason why certain things happen in your life.

It's to bring you and I to a place of dependence upon I. One time I was talking to an individual about responsibility, and that word can be so big. Responsibility. It puts all the weight upon you. You're responsible to this and responsible to that.

You need to take upon yourself responsibility, and I was sharing with somebody one time, and they said, Andy, you know what the responsibility is? I said, what? It's responding to God's ability. If God's put you in a place, He'll give you the grace, the wisdom, and the strength in order for you to walk under those loads and in that place, and He comes to comfort your heart, and what He wants you to see is that, say, hey, listen, I want you to take that place of responsibility and cast that upon me.

Cast those cares upon me, knowing that I care for your soul. Look with me in Philippians chapter 3. Move to the right of Corinthians, General Electric Power Company, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians chapter 3.

Confidence in Christ Rather Than the Flesh

Here's something that Paul states. Look with me in verse 1. It says, Finally, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord, to write the same things to you. To me, indeed, is no grievous, but for you it is safe. Beware of the dogs, beware of the evil workers, beware of the false circumcision.

For we are the circumcision which worship God in spirit and rejoice in Christ Jesus and have what? No confidence. Now think about no confidence. What does that mean? That means there's no confidence in the flesh, in his abilities.

There's nothing he's boasting in or putting his confidence in. Now listen, as he goes on, Paul says, I was a Pharisee of Pharisees. How many of you in this place, as believers, have put your confidence in your knowledge of the Word?

And everybody knows it. You know, you're quick to quote all kinds of scriptures. You can quote them, speak them, and your confidence is in your knowledge and ability. Paul says, listen, I was a Pharisee of Pharisees.

I had to memorize the first five books of the Bible. I mean, Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy. He was a Hebrew of Hebrews. He was born into this race. And as to the laws, he saw it for a while.

He thought he was perfect. And yet, he had come to a place where he says, I lay all these things aside. You know, when we talk about the concept of laying aside the past, most of the time we're usually talking about all of our vices, all the bad things in our life.

You know, laying aside gamblings, laying aside this or that. Paul said, the things that I'm laying aside are those things that were at one time a glory to me. All the things I used to boast in, those are the things I put aside and I'm running forward with my confidence and trust focused on him.

Now listen, that didn't happen overnight. There were things that happened in his life that caused him to despair even of life. And then all of a sudden, God would come through and his confidence began to be in the one who was able to deliver him.

When you're struggling with sins in your life, you know, so many times we talk about the issue of, like, lust. Now listen, Jesus said, if you look upon another woman to lust, you've got, you've got it, you've got adultery in your heart already.

But in our mind, we excuse it. We think, hey, I'm not hurting anybody. I can fantasize, run through these thoughts. But God says, I see the secret place. I know what's going on. And then you say, well Andy, that's impossible to walk there.

You're exactly right. You can't do it. And God intended it that way. Because the Christian walk is a supernatural journey in which we have to throw ourself upon the grace of God and seek his help in time of need.

But it's in that place where you begin to see God give you the strength to resist that thought, that temptation today, the same one you fell to yesterday. And you begin to say, wait a minute, he can get me through this.

And you may fall tomorrow. But you begin to realize there is grace there. God can help me. There is a place where my life can make a turn and a change if I'll depend and lean upon him. Look with me in 2nd Corinthians.

Paul's Thorn and God's Strength in Weakness

Back to this story about Paul. Chapter 12. And guys, as we look at this, the main point that I want to get to is this. So many times in our lives, there are things that come into our life, even as believers and Christians.

And it's like it makes you want to throw up your hands and give up. Lord, I seem to fall when I want to stand. I can't make it through this. I try to resist and I can't seem to become everything that your Word says.

Or maybe the pressures seem to be mounting upon me. And you know what, guys? What I want to encourage you with is that God knows. And there's a purpose for those things in your life. And the purpose is to put the death nail again and again and again to self-effort and self-trust.

This is a walk of faith and dependence upon him. But because of being attached to this flesh nature, there's the tendency at times to think, I can do it. I can make this happen. I can just determine in my will I'm going to do this and such and such.

I know in my own life, specifically, let's just take the area of lust because that was the stronghold of my life early on in my journey. The fantasies of my mind, the thoughts, the things that I looked at and watched, it just tormented me.

And so I began to cry out to God, help me. And there was a lot of falling down and getting up. But he began to help me take thoughts captive. And then as I began to get older and stuff and things begin to change, people would come to me and begin to share their hearts and their struggles.

And you know what I began to find? After a while, I began to be harsh toward people. You just need to take that. You stop this. You know, you need to do this. Why can't you just do that? You know what happened?

In my pride, it was like the walls began to come down. And all of a sudden, the flood of lust began to bombard my thoughts and mind. And God had to bring me back into another place of realizing, you didn't overcome just because you were some super Christian.

You overcame because I gave you the grace to overcame. I helped you through those places. But what happens a lot of times is in our overcoming, in areas of our life, the places where you've changed, the places where you've made turns, all of a sudden you begin to think you had something to do with that.

And your confidence begins to be self-confidence. And we're taught in this world, that's what you need is self-confidence. No. What you need is God confidence. God will help me through this place. He's able to do in me that which I cannot do myself.

And as believers, God will continue to take you into places to continually put the sword to self-confidence. Because we're going to see in a moment, no man will boast before God. Guys, there's coming a time in your life and in mine where you're going to die.

You're going to shed this earth suit. And like Samson, many of you today boast in your strength. But I'm going to tell you what, there's coming a day your body is going to begin to deteriorate more and faster.

You need to embrace it and realize it, make friends with it. And you need to consider today the reality of it. Because there's coming a time when this body is going to continually deteriorate and you're going to die.

And you're going to stand before God. And I want you to know, when you stand before God, there will be nothing to boast in, in regard to your own strength. There's a passage that says, in Zechariah chapter 4, it's the place where it says, not by might nor by strength, but by my power, says the Lord.

It says, they will lift up the top stone with shouts of grace, grace to it. And I believe what that means is there's coming a day when we shed these earth suits and step into eternity and face God before the judgment throne of God.

There will be not one of us that will be able to say, God, I changed my life for you. Look what I did. Look how I turned. Look how I overcome. Every one of us, those who are believers in Christ, will have to throw up their hands and say, grace, God, it was all grace.

It was something you did in me. All praise to you. Thank you, God. And that's why in this journey today, God continues to bring every one of us into places where you can't do it. You can't seem to get over that hump, cross that line.

God, I'm so discouraged. I'm so frustrated. He says, I know. Now put your trust in me. The promise of the gospel and the hope of the gospel is God said, I will do in you that which you are incapable of doing yourself.

Your part is to trust in me and to continue to seek me and cry out to me. Look with me in, oh, I said 2nd Corinthians chapter 12, didn't I? Look let's go on and start in verse 1. It's the story of why something happened in Paul's life.

Verse 1, it is not expedient for me doubtless to glory. I will come to visions and revelations of the Lord. I knew a man in Christ above 14 years ago, whether in the body I cannot tell or out of the body I cannot tell, such one was caught up into third heaven.

So what he begins to talk about, Paul says, there was this revelation in my life. I was caught up into this third heaven. There was this place of revelation. Now I don't know what all that means, but I know this, when you look at the prophets there were times when God opened up visions to them.

They saw things a lot of times other people didn't see. And I think in Paul's life there was something that had happened. There was a divine revelation, a mystery that had been opened up that was that was that was beyond his natural ability.

And he says in verse 4 how that he was caught up into paradise and heard unspeakable words which is not lawful for a man to utter. Of such a one will I glory, yet not myself, but of mine infirmities. Verse 6, for though I would desire to glory, I shall not be a fool.

For I will say the truth, but now I forbear, lest any man should think of me above that which he seeth in me. Verse 7, and lest I should be exalted above measure, through the abundance of the revelation there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan, to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.

Now think about that statement for a moment. Paul said there was a great revelation in his life. And I'll tell you what I find a lot of times is the ones that God draws the closest and that that he uses the most are the ones that allow him to bring in suffering and affliction in their life.

There's something about suffering affliction that gives a greater revelation of the grace of God. That's why Paul says I'd rather, I mean he says I'd rather boast in my sufferings that the cross of Christ would be lifted up.

And he begins to talk about there was given to me this thorn in the flesh, this place of struggle. Now everybody wants to talk about what it was. It really doesn't matter what it was, you know. Was it a struggle with any particular sin?

Might have been. I know in a lot of people's lives God uses them in great ways, and then inwardly there's this battle that reminds them of their own humanity, that they have to trust in God. Over and over again there are those things in our lives that have to bring us that place of trusting in Him.

And Paul says there was this messenger of Satan that was given to him for this purpose. In verse 8, or the end of verse 7, lest I should be exalted above measure, for this thing I besought the Lord three times that I might be, that it might depart from me.

And he said to me, my grace is sufficient for thee, for my strength is made perfect in your weakness. Whatever it was in Paul's life that God put there, it exposed his weakness. It exposed his place of struggle.

And God said to him, listen, in that place of weakness, it wasn't that I'm giving you to this place of weakness just to let you fall. It's I've allowed this place of weakness to cause you to trust in me, to cause you to lean upon my strength.

It was something greater than Paul, and it continually reminded him not to boast in himself or put confidence in himself, but to trust in the grace of God. Are there things in your life today that continue to bring you to that point of weakness?

Maybe it's a certain sin, and you know that there's a certain familiarity with that sin, a certain difficulty to that sin. And God has allowed that thing in your life to continue to drive you to the cross, to continue to drive you to that place of seeking him for help and strength and deliverance.

From Legalism to Victory Over Sin

Look with me in Galatians chapter 3. Paul's talking to the church, and he says in verse 3, it says, are you so foolish, having begun in the Spirit, are you now made perfect through the flesh? Now think about that for a moment, especially in a lot of young believers lives.

It's like something begins in your life with a zeal. You start walking, you start walking this thing out, and all of a sudden you knew that you needed God to bring you up out of a pit. But now it's like you've got your feet upon a rock, and now you're just, I'm going to do this myself.

And that's what Paul was speaking to this church. He said, you began in faith, but now it's like you're going to perfect it through the flesh. And how do we perfect it through the flesh? We put all of our emphasis on outward works of righteousness, showing up at church, doing this, and you begin to gravitate toward a lot of times this idea of legalism.

And God said, listen. You know, when I was in Africa with Joyce, we began to talk about how legalism comes into our life. And a lot of times legalism comes into our life because we can't restrain the sin within us.

We're trying to restrain the sin. For instance, a lot of times, you know, women have to wear, you know, things down to here, men have to do this and that, and they need to sit over here, and they need to sit over there, and we do all these things to make sure to protect and to constrain this monster within.

You know what? God's interest is not in restraining the monster within you. And I'm going to tell you, in my life there was listen, everybody's different, and that's why I can empathize and come alongside, especially those of you who are here with sexual crimes and all kinds of different things.

Because I knew in my heart there was a monster. And I was growing up in church, and I felt like there was no way out. And I remember one time sitting in a church service, and this thought came to my head.

And I didn't know anything about the powers of darkness. I didn't know there was a war all around me. I didn't know that the Father of Lies was constantly looking for ground. He was saying things up here.

I just thought it was my thoughts, and this thought came into mind, Andy, you are destined for destruction. Because I was sitting in the church, and this monster kept growing within me. And I could remember at that place being completely hopeless, because I knew that one day it was going to come out, and it was going to harm not only my life, but the life of others.

And I began to believe I'm destined for that. And all of a sudden I heard of someone give a testimony, and hope was birthed in my heart that there could be change, that God could change my life. And all of a sudden He lifted me by His own hand and power out of that pit of destruction.

And His word to me was not, Andy, I want to restrain that monster. Andy, I want to kill that monster in you. I came for this purpose, and that is to destroy the works of the enemy. And my hope from that point on was never in my ability to kill it.

It was in His ability to cause me to overcome and to put my foot upon the head of that enemy, and sever its neck in my own personal life. And I want you to know in your life, whatever that thing is that controls you, God's interest is not in bringing you into a place of restraining the enemy.