Cd Gv116 What the Bible Says About Sex — George Verwer

The Bible’s Balanced Teaching on Sex and Marriage

Now, I want to talk to you very, very clearly on what the Bible says about sex. Now, maybe you've already had a lot of lectures about this. If you have, it's an unusual place, and praise God for it. But you're going to get one more, because I feel very, very strongly that we need to see what the Bible says about sex.

If there's 400 verses in the Bible about sex, it seems to me people who claim to believe the Bible and claim to be Bible-believing Christians should know what the Bible says about sex, and about marriage, and about a lot of other interesting things.

And we're going to start with a verse in Hebrews, in the book of Hebrews. And if you turn with me in your Bible to Hebrews chapter 13, verse 4, these messages also that we're giving each day are available from the bookshop.

In fact, all the messages from all the speakers at the conference are available at the bookshop. Of course, they cost a little more, and please don't hold that against them. But they are available. Hebrews 13, verse 4, let's pray.

Lord, help us to deal in a serious way, and in a real way, with this biblical subject. And we'll give you all the praise, and we'll give you all the glory. In Jesus' name, amen. Age is honorable in all, and the bed is undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

This is a very good verse to start off with, because it presents a very balanced picture of this important subject. Number one, it shows that marriage is acceptable. It is not a secondary state, as the Roman Catholic Church taught, and probably still teaches, but it's honorable, it's acceptable.

And then it goes on to say, a little more blunt, the bed is undefiled. Now that's the old King James, and I had someone out in India who thought that meant that sex was dirty. He didn't know what the word undefiled meant.

He had it mixed up. What he was talking about was defiled. That means dirty, soiled, wrong. This is undefiled. And I think it's so important for us to somehow understand that sex is a God-given thing.

It's not something that came in because man backslid. It's not something that's dirty, that we can't talk about. And it is my experience in counseling people for the last 23 years in the area of marriage, that some of God's people have difficulty because still lingering in their mind is the concept that sex is dirty.

Sex is wrong. It may go back to when little Johnny at about four discovered, you know, a little special private park between his legs, and he started to play. And mother screamed, don't touch it. And it was burned into his subconscious.

This is untouchable zone. This is dirty. And you wouldn't believe some of the stories that young people have shared with me that they had been told. Now, if I speak a little too blunt on this subject, I can assure you the Bible is more blunt.

I didn't know quite what to do with that verse when I came across it. Be thou satisfied with the breasts of the wife of your youth. When's the last time you heard a good, deep Bible exposition on that verse?

And there's a few other verses that are even more blunt about the fellow sitting up on the wall than a few other things that some of you have come across in your Old Testament studies. And some people are perplexed by this.

And it doesn't say in my Bible not to be mixed, not to be read in mixed audiences, or not to be studied until you're 21 years of age. And today, if we, as ministers of the gospel, and many of you 10 years from now, even 5 years from now, will be sharing the gospel, if we don't give our young people the truth of God's word, who's going to give it to them?

The man in the corner newsstand. The gossip, the small talk that goes around. I don't know about your high school. It's a Christian high school. I trust it's different. No, there's nothing wrong with healthy talk on the subject of sex.

But the biggest subject in most ungodly high schools, the biggest subject is sex. A lot of them talk big, and some are into it big. But it, in either ways, is the big subject. When you go from this place, you are going to have to relate to unconverted people.

You need to know, to some degree, where unconverted people are, what they're talking about. It isn't right that people are not taught these things. I had a young man, 24 years of age, come to me recently in one of my lectures on this subject.

Very, very quietly, in fear and trembling, he came up to me, and he asked me, please, would you tell me, what is masturbation? He didn't know, at 24, what we were talking about. Now, maybe some people feel that's good.

But if he's going to be counseling people, if he's going to be leading people to Christ, it seems to me he needs to have a little knowledge of what this is all about. And so I believe the Bible is an open book, and I believe you are at the best age to look into God's Word, and to get a little more of the truth of God's Word.

And so the bed, sex, is clean. Everything that has to do with sex is basically clean. This small member of our body is clean. But, the other side is also brought into this verse, but fornication, or fornicators and adulterers, God will judge.

Sex outside of marriage, all forms of adultery. And of course, Galatians makes it clear, all forms of uncleanness and lasciviousness, and all of that kind of thing, is wrong, it's sin, it's outside of the purposes of God.

So you have the positive, and you have the negative. Marriage is good, it's beautiful. Sex, sex life, it's good, it's beautiful, within marriage. But fornication, adultery, sex outside of marriage, will be judged by God.

Marriage, Submission, and Christlike Love

Look at the book of Ephesians. I want to cut off, purposely, some of my own comments, in order to stick to the Word of God. The book of Ephesians, starting at verse 22, we have this great counsel for married people.

And it speaks about wives submitting themselves to the husbands, this is not slavery, and I hope men will not get a false idea of what this means. And then it speaks about the husband as the head of the wife, verse 23, even as Christ is the head of the Church, he is the Savior of the body.

Therefore, as the Church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. That's the verse for the wife to pay attention to, not for the husband to use as a club to beat his poor wife into some kind of false submission.

But then, the verse for the husbands is verse 25, Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church and gave himself for it. That is the greatest, certainly one of the greatest challenges I have ever found in the Bible.

And boy, it has humbled me many, many times. Love my wife as Christ loved the Church. You know, I was one of those declared bachelors. I wouldn't have had any trouble deciding to go to Prairie Bible Institute.

Because I felt after I became a follower of Christ, I had got so many mixed up situations with women and girls, and I thought I need to leave that for at least a couple of years of my life. And I did.

At 17, I stopped dating. I broke with that line of thinking. I condemned it, and I gave myself to God, and it wasn't until a couple of years later that I met my wife, and God put us together. It's a very simple thing.

I just went up to rent a Moody Science Film in Chicago. My wife was waiting to go to school there. She was working for the Moody Institute of Science, and I went up to rent a film, and she was sitting behind the desk, and zap!

That was the end. Of course, I didn't think anything would happen because she was attractive, and I was convinced that there were no attractive girls who were spiritual. I didn't think the two went on top of the same neck, and so I said, I bet you're not going to the mission field.

She was insulted by that, and that led to some interesting conversations and eventually some bells. And we've just had our 20th wedding anniversary. But I praised God for that period of my life when I laid aside the social thing.

It was the most difficult thing for me, and I gave myself to the word and to prayer and to soul winning and to getting my character built. Montgomery, that great British general, said you shouldn't get involved, even think about marriage, until you've mastered the art of warfare.

Of course, he was speaking about a soldier in the British Army, but I think there's some sense to that when we're preparing for the spiritual warfare. One of the things people don't like about Operation Mobilization, some people, is that on your first year in OM, there is no dating.

Not because we think that's unspiritual or carnal or wrong, but because we're trying to give ourselves to evangelizing the Muslim world. It's an impossible situation. We've got so many things to battle through in that first year.

We feel this must be laid aside. I think it's very important not to allow some of these rules to in any way cause us to think there's something wrong with some of these things, or look down on people who may have a different idea about dating, or look down on schools who may not agree with your philosophy or OM's philosophy, because God doesn't lead everybody the same way.

We're not going through some kind of stereotype cookie cutter. God is very great. How do we need to see God's plan for marriage, God's pattern for the Christian home? Husbands, love your wife as Christ loved the Church.

And maybe on your own, you could study the rest of that chapter. Then turn with me to 2 Timothy. 2 Timothy chapter 2, verse 22. 2 Timothy 2, 22. Flee also youthful lusts, but follow righteousness. Faith, love, peace were then the call of the Lord out of the pure heart.

Discipline, Exercise, and Saying No to Temptation

Now this is why I believe in jogging. Shortly after my conversion, I saw the importance of regular physical exercise. And so for many years I did calisthenics, all kinds of crazy exercises. I developed some of my own.

I thought I would demonstrate one of my exercises because it always wakes people up and it enables them to remember me. But I believe in jumping jacks. You all know jumping jacks. You just jump up and down like that.

You do that about 500 times, it keeps you in shape. But what we teach the people in OM, so they get more flexible, is they jump up and down, and in the air they turn around. And then you try to go all the way around in the air.

Anyway, you do that. And you're liable to break your neck. But I think it was around 1970, I got into this jogging thing. And for a while I thought, you know, this jog, it's for fat guys, you know, they've got to jog around, big stomach characters.

It's not for skinny guys like me. But I discovered that jogging was valuable to increase your ability to process air, oxygen. This enabled you to stay more fresh throughout the day, to sleep less. I found it very easy to sleep.

I could put my head down on the desk in the classroom. It's very embarrassing. You know, especially if you drool. I drool all over the books. It's not something you do just to stay thin or some other reason.

But it's something that helps your whole physical, spiritual life. You cannot separate the physical from the spiritual. You're a whole person. I'm not saying everybody has to jog. There are many exercise programs.

I'm actually very broad-minded about exercise. As long as everybody is exercising every day, some way, and it should be at least to bring your heart up to a few, you know, a little bit of intensity, then I'm happy.

Swimming is very good. But exercise is not good if you don't stick at it. It's like a lot of things in life. And it's not good if you only do it when you feel like doing it. This is the feelings trip that has caused more Christians to become casualties than we'll ever know.

They approach their quiet time the same way, their study habits the same way. When they feel like doing it, they do it. That's not God's way. That's not the way of the disciple. And that same person, I believe, is going to eventually probably have trouble in the area of sex.

Because when it comes to sexual temptation, and maybe you've never had any big temptations, but you will. Maybe after you're 18, maybe after you're 20. We're all different. The devil uses different strategy at different periods of our life.

But if you haven't learned how to say no, there's a new book out called How to Say No. Very good book. Unless you know how to say no to some of the instincts, you're going to probably end up in trouble.

Of course, if you know how to job spiritually with your heart and your mind as well as physically, then you can obey this verse. Flee also youthful lusts. To this day, I have trouble with pornography.

And so I know there are certain places, and you know, at least for me, there's no problem in a place like Prairie. I haven't had any trouble hardly since I've come to Canada. But if you live in London, England, where it is on every corner, the porno capital of the entire world, and you have to go through that city every day, you may find that your mind gets a little more of a challenge.

And I've discovered the truth of this verse that at times it's better just to run away. Just don't go near. I walked into a place some time ago just to buy ice cream. Pornography was all over it. I ran right out.

I sent my wife in. She went in, she bought the ice cream, and then she gave the lady behind the counter a few thoughts about the literature display, which was quite a dart to that dear lady's heart. And in campaigns against pornography in Britain, we've seen some real victories, but there also have been some setbacks.

It's one of the most subtle enemy tactics that I believe some of you are going to find, and I feel we need to learn how to flee. It's not a matter of seeing how strong you are. It's not a matter of proving your maturity.

There's some areas where we need to learn to flee. Flee youthful lust, which war against the soul. Some young people that I counsel, they don't need any pornography. They've got a cinema, they have a cinema mind, a cinemascopic mind, and they can imagine it all.

They can run it through, forward, backward, technicolor, sound, the works, right there in their own little bedroom. Now one thing I want to say about this is that for many, especially from non-Christian backgrounds, for many, many people, this is quite normal.

Please do not think, because you have lewd dreams and difficulties in your mind, that you are some kind of a sex case, or condemn yourself, or reduce your image, which is probably already too low. But realize this is a common problem in our promiscuous society.

Billy Graham says we are a generation of sex gluttons, and realize that through God's Word you can stand against lust. What are some of the basic ways to stand against lust? Very quickly, number one I've given you, physical exercise.

Number two, memorizing the Word of God. I remember a young man that somebody wanted him to speak at our conference about 15 years ago in Chicago. And somebody said, will you let him speak at your conference?

He emphasizes meditating on the Word of God. I said, okay, we'll give him an hour, you know, generous me. So we let him speak for an hour at the OM conference. His name was Bill Gothard. Simple little brother who believed in memorizing the Word of God.

Has the Lord honored his word in that brother's life? I think you know he has. And the intensive meditating on the Word of God, not just reading it, can also clean up your dreams. God can invade your dream life.

Now I'm heavy into dreams. I don't know why. I don't put any interpretation on them. If I did, I think I'd go out of my mind. But I dream a lot. And before I knew Christ, and for some time after my conversion, I had many, many, many lewd dreams.

Always women. Coming down the chimneys, through the windows, through the fireplace, women. All kinds of women. And, you know, what we were doing in those dreams, it wasn't always, you know, according to the social policy of the Moody Bible Institute.

And I wondered about these dreams. Can God move into my dreams? And I found out that meditating on God's Word, saturating my mind with the Word of God, actually affected my dreams. And I remember vividly this dream when things began to change and this really beautiful chick, or woman, came through the door, you know, and she just offered herself to me, but somehow I just saw it.

I went right out the window and down the road. This is all of my dreams, so don't get me misquoted. God can revolutionize your thought life, your dreams. Now, many times, as the men have struggled with lust, women have greater struggle with worry and insecurity.

There are some women that do have enormous struggles with lust, and especially in our society today, but more often, especially among Christian women, the problem is insecurity. And the devil uses the lust trip of the men, and men also have insecurity, and lust and insecurity is a really tough combination to crack.

But the devil uses this lust and strong male sex drive with this terrific insecurity and the lack of love many girls have had in their childhood to often bring people together, often outwardly it looks quite innocent, but it goes too far.

And it's one of the most tragic things, and it's something you're especially going to have to watch. Every time you leave prairie, every time you go into a new environment where there may be more freedom is where you're going to have to have a lot of wisdom and a lot of self-control, and I pray that you will.

Joseph, David, and the Consequences of Sexual Sin

Let's look at a few passages in the Old Testament because I think it's very, very important, and there are many important passages that I feel people tend to neglect. I think, for example, of the story of Joseph.

We won't turn to that right now, but it's a beautiful story. I referred to it the other day, how Joseph found himself in a situation where a woman was trying to seduce him. The Bible's very vivid about these things.

You know, sex is one of the few subjects that again and again the Bible gives whole chapters over to, whole chapters. Amazing. Then we have the story of David. Joseph won. He stood against this woman.

Don't think, by the way, when you stand and you win a real victory for Christ that immediately he's going to reward you. That's not what happened with Joseph. He stood for Christ, and it got more difficult.

He was put in prison. Then you can get into the self-pity syndrome. But then God's timing, huh? That's the beautiful thing. God's timing. It is so important to understand that in your social relationships.

God's timing. I remember when this girl broke off with me. I don't think I was a Christian yet. And I went back to my room, in my house. Boy, a big strong athlete, I thought I was. Crying on my bed because this girl gave me that.

And there was a period in my life when I thought, boy, look at the nose. You know, I don't hardly weigh anything. I have to kick the scale to get it to move when I stand on it. And I used to lay in my bed grabbing my pillow.

You know, I was in the pillow syndrome for a long time. No one's ever going to marry me. But if only we can understand God's timing and the wonderful way that God can put people together. Boy, I've seen it in our work.

I remember years ago a girl came into our work. You know, she was a little large. She didn't have, you know, she didn't have everything that really, you know. And I thought, wow. It's good she loves Jesus.

We had another brother on our ship. He was getting on in years and he wasn't married. I think he was about 57 years of age. He really persevered. Of course, he got converted late in life. He was a former boxer.

And he was British, a very noisy type. And there was a very, very, very, very quiet American girl. She was younger than he was. But we saw God put them together. I have seen God do unbelievable things.

It doesn't matter what face. It doesn't matter what figure. It doesn't matter whether it is, you know, pimples as long as a telephone pole. God is a God of the impossible. Now, I hope if everything else I've said up to now has been discouraging, that at least that will encourage some of you to press on.

Anyway, Joseph won the victory. He stood against this subtle temptation. And he suffered for Christ. But in God's time, he became the prime minister of Egypt and saved his family. But the story of David is a little more tragic.

David was supposed to be out into the battle. But instead, he was found up on the roof. This led to lust. This led to adultery with Bathsheba. This led to the arranging and the lying, so that Uriah the Hittite was murdered.

And then Nathan confronts David. And he says in chapter 12, verse 7, Thou art the man. Sin catches up. You know a verse that saved me? I was a student at Moody and I was discouraged one night in the middle of Chicago.

My old life was banging on my door. Things that I had never done. Because God saved me in a sense in my life just before I went into the edge of the pit. One night as a student at Moody Bible Institute, Chicago is an easy place to get in trouble.

I thought, boy, I was so upset with the way Christians seemed to behave. I couldn't understand certain things in the Bible. I was just in a syndrome. And I thought, I'm going to go out tonight and just do something crazy.

I got as far as the door and God hit me with this verse. Whatsoever you sow, you shall also reap. Be not deceived. God is not mocked. Whatsoever you shall sow, you shall also reap. And I believe that oftentimes when as Christians we sin, God allows us to sow a harvest.

There's no fixed rule on this. There are other times when seemingly total mercy keeps a Christian from suffering from his sins. But there are other times when God allows in the form of chastisement, God allows us to suffer many, many things because of our sins.

And when you attempt to do something foolish, maybe you can remember those words. Whatsoever a man sows, that he shall also reap. He that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption. God forgive.

Praise the Lord. We can return to Him. We can repent and forgiveness comes. But the scars are not easily healed. I have scars that I'll never totally get healed. I think of one young girl that I was dating before I was a Christian and just shortly after I was a Christian.

In fact, she even came to Christ. I was in high school. And she got so, so serious about this relation. I had to go off to college. I was just, you know, sort of finding my way. And I hurt that girl through leading her astray with my extensive kissing, through my words that I didn't really mean.

I didn't know what I was saying. The easy I love you's. She went for it. She was ready for marriage. I was petrified of the thought. And so I said, you know, cool it, cool it. And we broke the relationship.

She never was the same. She went back and within a few months of a year married her stepbrother and never known all that's happened since. I would challenge you to try not to fool around with a serious thing of love.

Try not to play around with words like I love you. If even you're somewhat serious with a girl later on in your life, you know, at least say, well, you know, I think this is love. Or try to keep it on a spiritual basis.

There's a book called Update that you might want to read. I recommend it. I haven't read it completely, so I've only come across it in the last few years. You may not agree completely with it, but I think he's got some things to say.

There are other good books on this subject. But I want to look at a very unique story that is neglected. The story of a man named Amnon in chapter 13 of 2 Samuel. Amnon fell in love, you know, humanly speaking, with his half-sister.

He was distressed, verse 2. Amnon was so distressed that he fell sick for his sister. What a lesson there is here. You know, if you think that when you get these heavy patterns in your heart for a particular girl, even when you see her at 25 feet, or when she sings one of her little gospel choruses, or when she plays the piano, your blood pressure goes up and something happens in the back of your ears.

Wow, this is the real thing. Forget it. That can happen to you, you know, that can happen to you a hundred times. I hope it doesn't. You'll probably have a heart attack. That may be the beginning of something real, but just as easily, it's just an infatuation that you need to allow to pass.

Infatuation is very, very easy. You may not understand this, but since marriage, I've been infatuated with other women. Maybe no one's ever told you that kind of thing. Maybe you think Christian leaders don't have these struggles.

I'd rather be honest and never come back again than be dishonest. And I will tell you, you're looking at a Christian leader who was very infatuated with another woman, but I knew it was from the bed and it didn't get past first base.

And I asked God to take it away because I didn't want to go around with this other woman on my mind. And my wife and I prayed about it together. It's not an easy thing to share with your wife and I'm not saying every husband should share those kind of things.

He needs to know his wife. But my wife and I have had a very open relationship and she knows what a wretch I am and she loves me and that turns me on something fierce. Woo! Six months later, I saw this girl again and oh, she left me cold.

She was getting fat anyway and oh, just... ...story in because all the time I have to counsel people who are carried away with infatuation and carried into adultery because the infatuation was so wonderful.

It was the greatest experience they ever had. They never really did love their wife. And they think this is real and it's a subtle concoction and it doesn't last. True love must be based on God's Word.

So all... Amnon had a real heavy infatuation and it was with his sister, Tamar. It was actually his half-sister and he was so infatuated with her that he arranged by pretending he was sick and there are many ways to communicate.

The eyes... I'd be surprised if in an institution like this some of you didn't know how to communicate with your eyes. If you don't, well, then you're more disciplined than most of the people I've met.

Praise the Lord. But Amnon was a deceiver and so he arranged for Tamar to come and take care of him. And he ended up actually raping his sister. Unbelievable. Verse 11, When she had brought him unto him to eat, he took hold of her and said unto her, Lie with me.

Have sex with me, my sister. And she answered, No, my brother. Do not force me for no such thing ought to be done in Israel. Do not thou this folly. And I, where shall I cause my shame to go? And as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel.

Now therefore I pray thee, speak unto the king for he will not withhold me from thee. Albeit he would not listen to her voice, but being stronger than she, forced her and laid with her. And then look at verse 15, a bit of psychology we didn't discover until a hundred years ago.

And here it's in God's word three thousand years ago. Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise and get out.

He thought this was going to really satisfy his drive, his infatuation, but it didn't. And you may think that this beautiful thing of sex that should be kept for marriage, that somehow you won't be satisfied without it.

And so you rush things, you break God's pattern and God's program, like fire that's out of control. When it's in control, it's wonderful and it's heating all your buildings. Out of control, it could destroy the whole Prairie Bible Institute.

So sex, a beautiful thing, when it's in God's place and God's pattern, out of control, is one of the most destructive forces. And then Amnon hated her. And we wonder why a vast, very high percentage of all the teenage marriages end in divorce.

The flame was so hot, they couldn't bear not even looking at each other. And all the cockeyed films that come over the television that glamorize all this. Now some of the films are a little bit realistic.

And I just believe with all my heart that we can learn something from God's Word. And God's Word touches almost every subject. In the book of Leviticus, we have the subject of homosexuality very, very clearly spoken to.

Sexual Sin, Homosexuality, and the Call to Discipline

In chapter 19 and chapter 20, not only does it condemn homosexuality, and this is also backed up in the New Testament, and every major teaching in God's Word will be backed up in the New Testament. But it's very blunt.

Look at verse 11 in chapter 20, verse 10. And the man who committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he who committeth adultery with his neighbor's wife, and the adulterer, and the adulterer shall be put to death.

And the man who lieth with his father's wife hath uncovered his father's nakedness. Both of them shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them. And if a man lie with his daughter-in-law, both of them shall surely be put to death.

They have wrought confusion. Their blood shall be upon them. If a man also lie with mankind, man with man, homosexuality. Do you know every big city in the United States, there are churches with practicing homosexuals.

They marry men with men. And do you know many of them claim to be Bible believers? Homosexuality is out of control in North America. And here it is in the book of Leviticus. Condemned. Not the person, but the sin.

There's a big difference between a man who may have homosexual temptations. There may be someone here with that problem. It's impossible to be in an audience of this size and not have someone who at least is not having homosexual temptations.

To be tempted is not the same as someone who practices homosexuality. And there is victory for the man who's willing to walk the road of discipline, who's willing to deny himself, who's willing to get serious about physical exercise.

Like Paul said, I buffet my body and bring it into subjection, lest after preaching to others I become a reprobate. To the person who's willing to become serious about the word of God and fellowship and walking in the light, which I'd love to talk to you more about, there's victory whatever side of the fence his problems are.

But then look what it says. Verse 15,. And if a man lie with a beast, he shall surely be put to death, and you shall not slay the beast. The Bible's very blunt, isn't it? It was only in the Bible that I learned about that, until I had to counsel young people who had been in sexual perverted acts with animals.

And it is more common in Canada than anyone would ever dare to talk about. And in London, people pay money to sit in a circle and watch it take place on a nightclub floor. And if you don't think Sodom and Gomorrah are on the way back, then certainly your education is incomplete.

This is an area where we must know what God says. And we must take our stand, because though you may just play around in the periphery, a little bit of lustful thinking, a little bit of pornography, a little bit of excessive this or that, you are bordering on the same pit.

There's no end to this pit. You never satisfy the sexual craving of man in the carnal sense. It goes deeper and deeper and deeper, and you cannot even imagine the people that I have counseled totally hooked on pornography worse than you'd be hooked almost on drugs.

One of our leading seminaries south of the border, one of their graduates just thrown out of the ministry. Beautiful wife. You'd think he'd be as happy as any man could ever want to be. All the theology in the head.

Preacher. His marriage broke. They found out later every year he was at seminary he was going to prostitutes to get oral sex because his wife couldn't give him all the various things that he felt he needed.

And I wouldn't speak about any of these things if the Bible didn't speak. But if the Bible speaks then I will not be quiet even if some little dear person feels that these things certainly should not be spoken about in the church.