You Hurt Me, Now What？ — Shane Idleman

The Spiritual Danger of Hurt and Offense

I think we've all been hurt by people. Okay, there's 12 amens, 15 amens. And some people handle it better than others. And what happens though, is we often get knocked off course. And I've been talking about God's will, pursuing God's will.

We often get knocked off course when pursuing God's will because of pain or hurt. And so how the enemy works, I believe it's one of the greatest tricks, not tricks, but one of the greatest deceptions he's ever devised in the church is to have us hurt each other.

And so, you're walking, you're doing God's will. Man, I'm on fire for God, I'm going to rend the heavens, everything, I love the Lord, I want to start a ministry, and then you're hurt, offended. And now you go off course.

And it happens, it happens to me often, but I can't not show up. We have to deal with the hurt that we cause each other. And we have to own it. We have to stop making excuses. And own that hurt that we've caused others.

And maybe you're not at fault, but you don't want to hold on to that bitterness and unforgiveness because it will rot in you. Try putting a piece of old meat out in your garage this week. Watch what happens.

And that's what happens in the heart if we don't deal with these issues. Of all the tricks of the enemy, of all the things that knock us off course, of all the things that cause division among Christians, being hurt by others is at the top of the list.

The pain we cause each other is one of the enemy's primary weapons. And I don't know if you saw the sister come up and pray for me just right before the service, which is perfect and profound, because this is a hard topic.

Preaching Conviction Without Becoming a People Pleaser

This sermon's going to hurt people. I'm talking about what I shouldn't be doing, but actually the sermon's going to do it. Not what I shouldn't be doing, but dealing with the issue of offense and hurt.

And just the boldness to speak what needs to be said. And that's what's difficult, is because so many people, I'm going to get to that in a minute. Again, here goes a rabbit trail. But what happens is there's a conviction, and we don't want to work on that conviction, so we shoot the messenger.

And what happens, I realize a couple people have confirmed this with me recently this week, friends of mine out of state, and said, you know, you're a lightning rod. You are a wrecking ball for the church, exactly what we need.

Exactly what we need. They said, but you're going to encounter a lot of pain, because people don't want to hear that. A preacher is not without honor, except, the actual word is prophet, which is a hard voice to hear.

You're not without honor, Jesus said, except among your own people and in your own community. And it's hard, I'm being transparent this morning, it's a very hard calling, because I was a people pleaser growing up.

Passive, no, just want to please everybody. I was actually, believe it or not, I was a motivational speaker when I first came back to the Lord. I would not want to offend anybody. I would preach at events like this, not like this, but at events, and they would actually, everyone would have to fill out a card.

Rate the speaker. From one to 10. No, no, no, no. Like, oh, and you look at those, oh, what do I got to improve on? Here, that's out the window, because you don't ask for demographic studies and what people want to hear, you go to God and find out what they need to hear.

And that hurts, that hurts, and that offends people. And they don't like that. And for, here's so many people that are offended by my sermons. But so many people are encouraged. And it's a hard, you know, there's a lot of hurt in there, and even taking it to the Lord, realizing I don't speak perfectly for an hour.

Do my emotions come out? Absolutely. Anger, frustration, sure. But also, sometimes there's a timidity. I don't want to say that, such and such is going to take that wrong. I hope they're not watching.

It's hard, it's very difficult. And a lot of times, I've seen it, Pastor Abram just talked about this. People, when they're convicted, they either, like the Puritan said, the same sun that melts the wax hardens the clay.

So they either are convicted and say, Lord, thank you, and they change, or they shoot the messenger. And that's why I want to just even thank, there's a couple here from Alabama, right, over here. Praise God, nice to meet you guys.

And she said, you are convicting and changing me. And that meant the world because it's a hard, because a lot of other people are saying the opposite. Why don't you shut up? Why are you talking about this?

And I remember, I've had to deal with this a few times. The first time, it just completely threw me. And we're in Lancaster, probably two years old. The church, I remember, I think it was my wife who told me, and said, such and such isn't coming anymore because you didn't say hi to him in the lobby.

Like I intentionally avoided him and went the other way. But that hurt that I didn't say hi to him in the foyer. Like, I didn't even know he was there. So you see how that plants those seeds. Now, usually nine times out of 10, there's an underlying issue going on.

Of course, we know that. But my point is, we hurt people. And the first part of application is, are you sure it's me or another person, or is it conviction? I would say nine times out of 10, often when a person doesn't like a certain topic, it's conviction.

If you dig deep enough, it's conviction, without a shadow of a doubt. We don't like to be challenged and convicted unless we're ready to repent, then we love it. And last time, two weeks ago, I mentioned that ships are safest in the harbor, but they are not made for the harbor.

Did you know that's the safest spot for a ship? In this nice little quiet harbor. The safest spot for me, because I want to just live a quiet life, cabin up in the mountains. I don't know who invented cell phones.

But I think I was born about 100 years too late. And so, that's what I want, but I'm not made for that. I'm not designed for that. And same with many of you. God cuts us out in a certain way, in a certain cloth.

And God says, this is what I've created you to do. I won't do it perfectly. I'll own it when I need to. But it's going to ruffle feathers. That's what He's my calling. And sometimes with you, the way God has designed you, and we end up hurting people, people hurt us.

Pain as a Means of Spiritual Formation

And I also mentioned physical storms involve pain. Do they not? When you're going through this pain. But a physical storm, I'm sorry, spiritual storm or emotional storm, look at how it parallels with like a physical storm, you know, a tsunami or all kinds of major, a major cataclysmic events.

They actually bring nourishing rainfall to an area. But storms, pain, can actually nourish our soul. If we get the remedy from the right source. I mean, I look back on my life and thank God for the broken roads.

Thank God for the pain. Thank God that drove me literally to the cross. And so out of that despair, you can come out much stronger. Storms also break up billions and billions of gallons, they say, of bacteria in the ocean.

And storms can break out the sin in us. Do you know we often don't repent or fully come back to the Lord or get rid of things until we go through a lot of pain? I wish that wasn't the situation. But do you know how many, and we see them every week, there's marriages, not every week, but often marriages that are restored at this church.

But it wasn't until they got to the edge, maybe divorce papers were signed. And it's like, why did it get to the edge before we wake up? That pain, that pain, that pain draws us back to the Lord. It also deposits a very important element that is known as nitrogen.

And spiritual physical, I'm sorry, spiritual storms, storms about pain deposit into our heart's spiritual strength. This is why pain is so important. You encounter pain in the gym, some of you. You don't go home and cry and say, I'm not doing that again.

Because you understand the pain produces the results. And that's how people get results. The muscle is under tension. The muscle breaks down, your body says, oh, I need to rebuild stronger for the next time.

And that's what pain does. It can build this up spiritually. You have need of endurance so that when you finish the race, you finish it well, Paul would say. A physical storm also cleans the landscape and pain storms lead us to clean our heart, lead us to repentance.

Unfortunately, we can't shape our character by praying for it. Have you ever prayed any areas of your character where you have a deficit? Lord, help me in this anger. Lord, please help me with this anger.

Well, guess what? Get ready to get angry. Lord, I need more patience. Get ready for that flat tire. We go through the school of hard knocks to learn. So we can't shape our character by praying for it.

Forging our character comes directly from conflict. In the anvil, the anvil that God uses is often other people. And do you know what an anvil is? This big metal heavy unit, or unit, but piece of metal, huge.

We owned one when I was in construction. And you could do all kinds of things with it, but it was primarily for whacking things. You just put pieces of metal and you just hammer down on them. You'd use an anvil to straighten or bend the metal.

You just get the hammers out and just hammer it down. And often, the anvil that God uses is other people. Ouch. All of this, I just turned into it. I've been working on sermons all week. I've got Wednesdays kind of ready.

I want to encourage you to be here Wednesday. I'm talking about God hears the cries of His children from David in the next week and kind of putting that together now. It's just full of what God, I believe, wants to say to us.

Endurance, Calling, and the Danger of Giving Up

God uses other people to avoid criticism. You've heard the saying before. If you want to avoid criticism, here's all you have to do. Say nothing. Do nothing. Be nothing. And you will avoid criticism. The more pain you can handle, the more responsibility God may give you.

And I just did a podcast. I've got a podcast now mainly for pastors. We're quite shocked at how many actually pastors follow the ministry. We hear from many different states and California, of course.

But I did a podcast for them about pain and about if you're not hurting, you're not leading. And God often won't give you more if you're not ready for the pain. It's called the pain threshold. And I look back, I would have fell apart 12 years ago when we started the church.

If I had this level of pain 12 years ago, I would have ran home to mommy. And so He develops you and builds you through that pain. You come out more wise, discerning, not perfect, caring, loving, because you've been hurt.

You can actually offer people a lot more grace because you yourself have needed that grace. The need for endurance, there's that key verse I wanted to share with you last week, I didn't get to. Isaiah 37 .3, listen to this.

This is the day of distress and rebuke and disgrace. Isaiah, I mean, I feel like that with our nation right now. This is the day of distress and rebuke and disgrace with what is going on. He said, it's as if the children come to the moment of birth and there is no strength to deliver them.

That's what discouragement does. God has birthed something inside of you. God has put it down in your heart. God has loaded you with the weapon of warfare and spiritual warfare. He wants you, but now all this pain and all this distraction, all this hurt, now you can't even bring this dream that God has given you to birth.

How would this apply here? Well, how many times have I thought about quitting? Too many times to number. It's always over pain and hurt. And can you imagine, imagine if I would have just quit seven, six, eight years ago, whatever.

See, God says, I want to do this. I want to, here comes the baby. Here comes the blessing. Here it comes, but you have no strength to bring it to fruition. And the enemy will use pain to sidetrack you and distract you and hurt you and harm you.

Look at all that God has done in your life and you're going to give up now? Look at all that He has done in your life, in your marriage with your children, maybe your children are older. All that He has done, where He's brought you and you're going to give up now because somebody hurt you?

Somebody offended you? Westside is unique and I believe God, in my case, has called me for such a time as this, to ruffle feathers, to be a wrecking ball, so to speak, in the church, to wake up the lukewarm church, to convict the prideful.

And in saying that, I'm not saying I'm humble and not prideful and I don't need to work, I don't ever become carnal. Of course, all those things are working in our heart against us and we constantly have to remove those.

But because of that harder calling, you're going to hurt more people. Does that make sense? You know, if I was just, you know, if I had my glasses and just quiet and calm and demeanor and not upsetting, you know, hey, that's pretty cool.

It doesn't upset anybody. But when you ruffle those feathers, when you go deep and you challenge, conviction takes place. Do you know what happened to the majority of the prophets in the Old Testament?

Were they liked? They were not liked until after their death. The people said, get rid of these guys. We want teachers who will tell us smooth things, who will tell us what we want to hear, who will say, peace, peace.

The world's not falling apart. God loves your sin. You can sacrifice to Molech and bow to Astaroth. There's nothing wrong with you. We want those people. But those people didn't create change. And so it's a hard calling because I have to find this balance of being controversial and convicting, yet trying to find a lot of humility and brokenness and balance that out.

Remember two weeks ago when I said demons are against you? The world hates you. Carnal believers mock you and many friends and family ridicule you. But if God be for you, who can be against you? And that's the strength we need to stand in.

God's Call as the Foundation for Perseverance

In short, nothing can prevent God working in and through you. And it's a process. I mean, over the 12 years of pastoring, 20 years probably of speaking, it's been a process of hurting and building and repenting and shaping.

Okay, Lord, if You've truly, the only thing, let me tell you, the only thing that has ever kept me in the ministry and is going to keep me in the ministry, God willing, the only thing, not the encouragement of others, not whatever people think of it, it is this, God says, I have called you to do this.

That is what keeps you going. And that's what's gonna keep you going, correct? Am I just preaching the Word? That's, I've called you to do this. I've called you to succeed in this marriage. I've called you to raise these children.

I've called you to do this. And the only way you're gonna get through what you're going through is to know, God has put me here, God has got me, and God is gonna see me through. No matter, here comes the ridicule.

No matter, here comes the slander. No matter, here comes the backbiting. Now, if you need to change, change, please. Repent and humble yourself. Because a lot of people, you know what pride does? Pride says, yeah, I'm getting attacked by all these people, it's all them.

No, you gotta get the mirror out. Remove the plank from your eye. Then you can go look at the speck in the other person's eye. Romans 5 .34, I'm sorry, 5 .3 -4. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance.

Now, I have a feeling he's talking about persecution in the context here, of course. But also, pain and hurt. And endurance produces character, and character produces hope. And so, here's all this potential.

And God, I believe, is saying that even to us in some of these areas. Here's all this potential. Here's what God wants to do. This dream he put inside of you. This calling, this gifting. All of this, you went through the furnace of affliction.

All this growth, all this maturity. And here it comes to birth, but there's no strength left. There's no endurance to bring it to fruition. Let the dream die. And that's how the enemy works. Often, he'll stop us and sidetrack us.

Jacob, Esau, and the Cost of Appeasing Appetite

And so, what I wanted to get to was in Genesis 25. I think we can put it up there. And I was going to go through verse by verse and different things, but God had other plans. And when I say that, you need to know, I'm not thinking God speaks directly to me and everything I transmit here is equal to Scripture.

I'm just saying, when I feel something deeply and it convicts me, and I believe God wants me to share it, I've prayed about it, I've waited upon it, and then it comes out in imperfection, not perfectly, that's what I'm saying.

I believe we need to change direction here and not go through every single verse right now on this particular passage. Even I told you that from the beginning. I think God is having me do principle by principle, not necessarily verse by verse.

So, Jacob and Esau grew up. Esau became a skillful hunter, a man's man. That's why I like Esau. He was a man of the open country, probably a fly fisherman. Well, Jacob stayed at home. But of course, we know that Jacob was highly favored.

Later on, Jacob took advantage of Esau's appetite, the lust of the flesh, and obtained his birthright. Esau is starving, and Jacob says, nope, I'm not going to give you this stew. Give me your birthright.

You've got to be pretty hungry. Or he didn't realize what he was giving up. And what the birthright is, of course, Bible students know it's headship of the family, and it's a double portion from the Father.

He gave all of this up for his appetite. And that could have turned into a whole sermon on how much do we give up for our pleasure, for our appetites. The lust of the flesh. How many bad decisions do we make because the flesh talked me into it, or talked you into it?

That's how we get hooked again, that the flesh is pulling us in the wrong direction. And then we find in Genesis 26, Isaac's servants dug in the valley. Have you ever done this? You're working hard, you're doing God's will, and they found a well of water, but the herdsmen of Gerar quarreled with Isaac's herdsmen, and said, this water is ours.

So I don't know if you've ever dug a well. I mean, I've never probably went that deep. Depends how deep the water level was. I used to find the water table here in Leona Valley with a drilling rig, sometimes it was 16 feet.

Believe it or not, other times we would hit it at 100 feet, depending on what you would hit. But you could dig down, you could find where there's actually water percolating up into the dirt. You could look down, and percolation tests, they would call them, and you could look down, even sometimes I would dig six, seven feet, and there's some water forming at the bottom.

And so they worked all hard. They didn't have backhoes back then, though. They had probably very hard shovels. And so they find this well, and here comes these people. No, that's our water. So then they go and dig another well.

Move to a different location. Okay, okay. What happens? No, this is our well again. And so it was a good reminder to me that you can just be doing things for God and keep getting beat up. Keep getting discouraged.

Anybody relate? Then they finally found the right spot, and they dug another well, and they did not quarrel over it. And there's even so many lessons here. Erring on the side of grace. Being the better person.

Taking the lower road. Okay, let me go find a different spot. Let me go find a different spot. Let me go find a different spot. And you being the peacemaker. That's why Paul said, as much as it depends upon you, be at peace with all men.

Now that doesn't mean that you're not that doesn't mean negotiate the truth. Peacemaker is not a capitulator. There's a big difference there. We cannot be at peace with those spiritually who deny the doctrines of the Christian faith.

And I would get invited to a lot of these interfaith things when I first planted the church. Different religions would meet. Let's just all come together. I'm like, well, I'll have lunch with them and talk about what I believe.

I'm not going to come together as if we're all one. That's sending the wrong message. And I was never invited again. So I think they eventually got the point on that. But see, I'm not being mean. I'm not being a jerk and arrogant.

I can't act like we're all worshiping the same God and let me negotiate the cross just so I can get along. Because true biblical unity, if you've been coming a while, you've heard me say this, true biblical unity is unity of the Spirit.

It's not just let's just get along. Democrats and Republicans, that's not going to work. It's unity of the Spirit, unity of truth. Then we all rally around that. So if we remove the truth, how can I be united with you?

Spiritually, I can go to lunch. I can share my testimony. I can try to win you over to Yahweh, Yeshua, the Christian faith. And then of course, we see family dynamics. Anybody have any family dynamics going on?

Offense, Pride, and the Need for Self-Examination

Anybody have little ones at home you think the devil can plant thoughts in their minds? So you got all hell breaking loose. Pastors' kids. It's so hard. The first service, I saw the guy who lives across the street from me.

Both people on both sides of me listened to the sermon. The guy across the street. I'm like, I'm in this bubble. I can't go outside and yell at my kids. You can. How's it going? How's it going? It's actually, but it's kind of cool because it keeps you in order there.

You know, you're gonna act a lot different if you know believers are right next door to you. And people watching you. Everything you do. Whew. I love this one. 26, Genesis 26. When Esau was 40 years old, he took two wives.

I can tell you there's a problem right there. How did these guys marry? I can't even handle one. Man. And I wouldn't want one. I'm praising God, that's just so weird. And actually God didn't, He allowed it.

He didn't command it. You need to know that. Because the church down the street and others will say, no, God, look, it's in the... No, He allowed it. From the beginning, Jesus said, the two shall become one.

It's always God's design. But God allows things. Especially when people say, look, did you know in the 1800s, even 1700s, that many churches use the Bible to promote slavery and say it was right? But they forget, no, God allowed it to happen.

He didn't endorse it. You get indentured servants and things like that. It's a whole different concept. But just because something's in the Bible doesn't mean God wants you to do everything. I'm not gonna take my son to Mount Moriah and sacrifice him.

Hoping that God brings a ram in the thicket. So you have to know your Bible. But anyway, he was 40, took two wives, and look at this, I just had to give you the exact rendering of Scripture. They were a grief of mine to Isaac and Rebekah.

They were a pain in the... Yeah, the daughter-in-laws, oh my goodness. I think this is where the mother-in-law, father-in-law joke started. And it says here, they were a pain. They were a pain to them.

So you see all these dynamics taking place in Genesis 25 -26 that I want to talk to you about. Esau, Jacob, the working hard, the family dynamics. And so you have to realize, here's the key, at the core of offense is hurt, pain, and pride.

At the core of being offended. Have you ever been offended by someone? At the core of that, it's hurt, it's pain, it's pride, is what happens. And we gotta get to the bottom of this. Here's what pride says.

The faults in others I can clearly see, but praise God, there's none in me. You can borrow that one. So here's where the rubber's gonna meet the road. We have to ask, is this really something I need to address?

Is this really something I need to address? Or am I mad because my pride has been hurt? Or am I convicted? You have to ask that question. Because often, even as Christians, our first response is to react, not respond.

What comes out? The flesh. So the more filled you are with the spirit, the less you're gonna fight with other people. And say the wrong things. That's just biblical. That's Bible. Because you're filled with love and joy and peace.

So when someone offends you, you're like, brother, it's okay, I'm not easily angered. So you can really gauge in your heart, in my own heart, when I'm not filled with the spirit. Because what comes out?

When a vessel is struck, my mom always told me at a young age, Shane, when a vessel is struck, what's inside spills out. So when you're struck, that's what really comes out. But I look at things too, before I address it, what is the seriousness of it?

You know, is it a serious nature? Is it something, you know, this is pretty significant. I need to address this. You know, or is it something like, okay, I wish they would have chose a different color carpet.

You know, and so much is coming to mind that I have in my notes, but I'm not gonna get to them. But even preference. Preference causes a lot of division. Is it even worth fighting about? You will not believe the battles when we first moved up here over preference.

Preference, Church Conflict, and Biblical Unity

It took me like two years to get rid of the organ. You know an organ? And the old hymns? Wonderful if you grew up in that age. That's how you came to the Lord? Wonderful. But I don't know if we can keep up the organ.

It's not bad, I'm just saying. And so, preference, right? Preference. And you guys see those two banners in the back? Those big, huge banners? They were everywhere. And I just try to take one down at a time.

Because all hell will break loose if we didn't keep those up there because somebody made them. And I agree, that's incredible. That's cool, but you gotta change. And they don't like the changer, the person who's making the change.

And just the way, you know, and preference. And why are you standing during worship? Why are you sitting? Why are you wearing a suit and tie? Why aren't you wearing a suit and tie? Why are they raising their hands?

Why aren't they raising their hands? Why'd they do that? Why didn't they do that? Why isn't he chained to the whole Bible like Calvary Chuck Smith? I don't know, I'm not Calvary Chapel. Why don't you do this?

Preference, preference, preference. And then we can get offended because we don't have the preference you prefer. I mean, and I appreciate it. That's why you just gotta let some things go. I remember when people come up and say, Shane, I used to go to churches where like after the first song, people get up and they greet each other and say hello, and why don't we do that here?

I'm like, I don't know, that's kind of, I guess that works for some people, but man, once this worship team starts, I don't wanna stop it. I don't know about you, but I don't wanna sit down and stop it.

When you're singing Spirit Breakout, okay, now let's just huddle and talk for a while. That's not, that doesn't work for us. I remember this was so challenging when we first planted the church. People come up, Shane, we gotta have announcements.

So okay, so we have worship, right? Just powerful worship, and then we'd all sit down and listen to 10 minutes of boring announcements. See, it doesn't fit with what God's doing here. Preference, preference.

People start to tell, okay, you need to preach this way. You need to do this, and this is why we need a board of elders to do this. And it was just all these things of preference. Even now, one of the things I am dreading, please pray, please pray, please pray today.

If we ever have to make the decision to replace the pews with chairs, I'm just saying, I'm just saying. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch, see? And you've noticed I've been planting seeds for like seven months, just planting those seeds.

I'm, oh. I'm waiting for the emails from the old timers. So, but we love the pews, we wanna keep the pews. The problem is seats, we can see where your purse is sitting and we can fit a lot more people, about 50, 60 more people with seats.

So do we get, do we start a third service or do we replace the pews with chairs? And if we replace the pews with chairs, chairs can be removed, you can have more events inside the sanctuary, lots of different things.

Just be clear on this, the church is divided, right, 50 -50. So that's why we're not doing anything right now. We're just, but see, preference. Should we really get upset about that? Let's be honest. Should, no, no we shouldn't.

No, we shouldn't. Missy, I'm gonna have to tell you to be quiet this service. Now, in her mind, maybe so, because love the pews, grew up in the pews, pews resemble more of a church feeling. I got that.

But I don't know why I have to use that example. But should that really cause division? Should that really, and see, that's what I'm saying. When we try to choose the wood, when we try to do these things, like I don't know if that's a good idea.

Why don't, what, what, what, what? Guys, can we just have church? Preference, preference. I love the emails. I would prefer, if you would wear a suit and tie, I would prefer that you use the King James only because you are leading people astray with those godless versions.

I won't even get into that. But I've studied the Greek, the Hebrew, that you know, there's a lot of debates on that. Anyway, preference, preference, preference. People say that's not preference. That's truth and things like that.

So understand, my point was, is this really something that needs to cause division? Is this something that needs to divide us? Or are we gonna let people do what they do? So are you ready for this? I just added four this morning.

Thank God they could make the thing, the screen. The top, I don't even know if I wanna do this. I even said, don't put it in there yet. Let me pray about it. But I think it's time. The top 10 reasons my sermons offend Christians.

Why Sermons Offend Christians: Entertainment and Lifestyle

The top 10 reasons my sermons offend Christians over the years. Why am I talking about this? Because it's very important and I'll get to it in a minute. Now I'm not talking about why sermons offend unbelievers.

I mean, that's obvious. Jesus, the cross, the only way. I'm talking about believers, why we get offended. And I'm not trying to be a jerk. I'm trying to help. And so here's the things I have to deal with as preaching my style of preaching in this type of church.

And I mean, I can safely say, unless you're leading something, guys maybe know you're leading a large business or corporate, you know you hurt people every day. Every single day that you breathe. You run a business, you manage a business.

Can you relate? I offend people before I even start, before I even get to the first service. For example, morning, I wrote down four today. For example, morning worship, right? Doors open at six, we're here, you guys should come and worship.

Okay, well, the music's too loud. I go and turn it down. And Pastor Abram comes out, hey, God, turn that up. What's going on? Oh, it's too loud. I've talked to people, they call in this community. That street is getting too crowded.

I can't even pull out of my driveway without people almost hitting me. Okay, let me see if I can upset some more people so we're not as busy. But shouldn't they be happy that the Gospel is going out? You know, and so, the street's really crowded.

And then the people riding horses got upset because we used to park on both sides all the way up and down the street. And so we had to make an area so now horses can go in. And offending people, and that's the pastor who offends us.

Or if I pray, this actually didn't happen today, I just thought of it. If I'm gonna pray, pray for healing, Lord, would you bring healing to this lady? And Lord, please show her if there's anything in her life that's actually causing this.

Whoa, whoa, hold on a minute, pastor. There's nothing in my life causing this. Well, here we go. I'm gonna wear it on my sleeve. Nobody knows this except a few people. Pastor Abram, my wife. I was actually gonna take today and next Sunday off and go ride on a vacation.

I was hurt. I've had enough for a while. It builds up. I shouldn't even be here. I shouldn't be there. Next Wednesday, I shouldn't be there Sunday. I said, I'm done. I'm done dealing with people. I poured out my heart and we get backstabbed, we get gossiped out, we get slandered.

I spent time with God and I said, I'm gonna work my butt off this week. I'm gonna be here, I'm gonna preach my heart out. And the peace of God came upon me like I've never felt in a long time. But you can see, right?

You can see how that, and that's why that comment from Alabama was so, I just got a letter from Pennsylvania this morning. Just heard from somebody in Canada and Texas on being radically changed. But you can only get beat up so much as well.

So please don't like, let me email Pastor Shane and encourage him. Oh, I'm good, I'm good, I'm just like you. You know, you got five kids at home, all hell's breaking loose sometimes. This isn't going well and that's not going well and anybody ever have their plans messed up and not going according to what you thought?

And so it just hits you like a ton of bricks. And then if things get back to me, what people said, I'm like, they're just lying. They're lying about me, about the church, how we handle things. And the pressure.