TPW 92 Husbands Let Us Raise The Bar

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Welcome to the Protestant Witness. This is Pastor Patrick Hines, and I'd like to post the sermon that I preached on marriage this past Sunday night on Ephesians chapter 5 verses 21 to 33
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Critically important passage. My heart was on fire for this one, and I think that Husbands in particular so much of what is wrong in our society and our culture today can trace its way back at some point or another to Fathers not being covenantally faithful to their wife and to their children in their home and so I hope that If you're married or one day will be married that you will listen very carefully
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To what the Word of God says here in Ephesians 5 21 to 33 and that this will convict you if you are married
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To love your wife better than you do and to take that sacred trust very very
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Seriously all of us who are married need to do better as husbands and we need to do better as fathers if we have children and we need to be leaders in this regard and so much of the future of our country and of the church is going to depend on fathers and their faithfulness because tomorrow's elders deacons and church leaders they are right now in the incubators of their homes, and they will very much be the byproduct of the
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Spiritual vitality of their fathers so much falls back on dads and their faithfulness or lack thereof to their wife and to their homes, and so I hope that this passage of scripture will pierce your heart and that it will become part of your fabric as a human being and That you will love your wife as Christ loved the church and that you will take these things to heart
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And if you're a wife that you will encourage your husband to do better If you're a single woman that you will not
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Settle for a man who's not going to lead and is not going to do what's right and that you will not out of fear
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Settle for someone less than godly, so this is a great passage for our time Marriage is collapsing.
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It's falling apart The church is not doing that well with us And so I hope that you will take these things to heart and be encouraged by them
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Good evening You take your Bibles and turn to Ephesians chapter 5 verses 21 through 33
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Still just on the first couple of points of the Westminster confession of Marriage, I want to address
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This great text of the scripture verse by verse as there is much for our instruction here
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Ephesians 5 beginning at verse 21 Through verse 33.
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This is God's Word And be subject to one another in the fear of Christ Wives be subject to your own husbands as to the
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Lord But the husband is the head of the wife as Christ also is the head of the church
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He himself being the Savior of the body But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their own husbands and everything
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Husbands love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her
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So that he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word That he might present to himself church and all her glory having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing
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But that she would be holy and blameless So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies
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He who loves his own wife loves himself For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ also does the church
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Because we are members of his body For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh
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This mystery is great, but I'm speaking with reference to Christ and the church nevertheless each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as Himself and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband
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May God bless the reading of his word. Let's pray, please Father we thank you for the blessed institution of marriage and those of us who are married or will one day be married we pray that you would help us to See it as a great calling a great blessing and a great challenge to be like Jesus, especially us as husbands
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We pray also for the women here among us who are married or one day will be married That they would do as this passage commands them and respect their husband to admire to help to encourage him
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And we pray Lord that this passage would speak to our hearts convict us challenge us and change us.
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We pray in Jesus name. Amen It's remarkable to consider that marriage predates the fall of mankind and sin
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Adam and Eve for a time. We don't know how long but they had a perfect marriage relationship
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We often rightly speak of marriage as being hard work and it certainly is that But for Adam and Eve before the fall nothing was hard at all
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Their communication their marriage was perfect. Their love for one another was perfect There was no shame.
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No secrets. No disagreements about anything ever Marriage was created by God to be a great blessing and a source of great joy and peace and comfort companionship and an antidote to loneliness
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When Adam and Eve sinned and felt fear and shame for the very first time in their lives There was not only alienation between them and God there was alienation from each other
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Listen to that tragic verse in Genesis 3 8 and they heard the sound of the
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Lord God Walking in the garden in the cool of the day and Adam and his wife hid themselves
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From the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden And commentators of that verse have pointed out that the text doesn't say that they hid themselves
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But rather Adam and his wife hid themselves Not they hid themselves, but each as individuals
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It's almost like they were so afraid that God was coming toward them that it was every person for themselves
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You hide over there and I'll go hide somewhere else Marriage must never be that way. However, it is both always for the other.
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It's always us together We know the rest of the story in Genesis we covered it and our men's
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Bible study of a complete husband They point fingers and blame others for their sins when God confronts them
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Adam says to God the woman you gave me he blames her and God That woman you gave me she gave me of the tree and I ate and Eve of course blames the serpent the serpent deceived me and I Alienation and selfishness due to sin.
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These are the things that make marriage hard work now Two inherently self -centered sinful people get married now and conflict is inevitable
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Because of this there's a lot of instruction in God's Word about the way that marriage is to be done Husbands have distinct roles and duties wives have distinct roles and duties and our sin makes the fulfilling of those roles very difficult
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But we but what we really want if we're married is to be as close to what marriage was designed to be as we can
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Possibly be and Ephesians 5 21 to 33 is perpetually relevant to marriage
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It's every phrase Speaks directly to the heart of what we must labor and work hard to be and do if marriage is to be a blessing
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To us and others and not a curse So I've divided this passage into three headings
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Number one wives submit to your own husbands and number two husbands Love your wives as Christ of the church and then three marriage defined husbands love and wives respect
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So look at verse 21 there in your Bible of Ephesians chapter 5 Submitting to one another in the fear of God or the fear of Christ There are a few things more difficult for human beings in general than submission
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Think about it. What are we by nature since the fall happened? We're rebels Rebels authority is something we don't like anymore
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We despise it God created us God ended into a covenant of obedience with us, but rebels prefer disobedience
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God's our creator. He's our lawgiver He makes the rules for what we're to do and not to do with ourselves.
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We as simple rebels prefer Self -determination Do what you want is the creed of man as a rebel yet as Christians Our Lord taught us to pray every time we pray thy kingdom come your will be done
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When Jesus was on the ground praying in agony in the Garden of Gethsemane, he prayed not my will but yours be done
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So self -denial is the very heart of Christian discipleship in general
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And it's also the heart of Christian marriage as well If there's ever been a generation that has more to learn about self -denial than our own
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I've certainly never heard of it The gay revolution and everything going on the PCA related to it is an absolute and comprehensive
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Denial of what Jesus taught us concerning taking up one's cross and dying to ourselves
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If anyone would come after me Jesus said if anyone would let him take up his cross
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Deny himself and come and follow me Yes, setting aside your wants your desires and your needs for the sake of others.
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That's what we're called to do Setting aside sinful desires for obeying the Lord of glory is what
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Christ calls us to that's the life We're called to and as a general principle of application among the people of God we defer to one another we prefer others over Ourselves we give place to those around us ahead of ourselves
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I can think of nothing where they're where this is more relevant than marriage
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You give you love you put yourself aside You stay committed you shun all occasions of infidelity in your mind heart and body you deny yourself
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And you love with vulnerability and complete abandon Because that's how God in Christ has loved you
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We get verse 22 wives Submit to your own husbands as to the
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Lord As I've done premarital counseling over the years I've applied this passage of God's Word by saying that in marriage the vast majority of your decisions will be joint decisions
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About which there will be full agreement between the husband and the wife and men
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Here is one of the keys to this working Well, the husband ought to defer to his wife and do what she likes as much as possible
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Do what she wants to do short of sin If the husband does not listen carefully to his wife does not take into consideration her wisdom her insights and preferences
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He's not being a good husband to her She is required however to submit to his final decisions on what ought to be those rare Occasions when there is an impasse on an important matter and the husband is forced to make a call to make a decision
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She is required to submit to his decision as long as she's not being asked to sin against God Notice that it says that wives are to submit to their husbands as to the
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Lord There's no such thing as a godly wife who does not submit to her husband
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She must recognize that he is the head and leader of the family that he makes the final decisions when there is a disagreement
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This is why unmarried women must not settle for someone less than godly out of fear of being alone
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You submit to him as to the Lord himself You don't want to have to do that for a man who's not godly.
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He's not Christlike who doesn't follow Jesus Look at verse 23 for the husband is head of the wife
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As also Christ is head of the church the very same Hierarchical arrangement that exists between Jesus and his church is to be mirrored in husband and wife relations
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Jesus is the head of the church The church is to submit to Jesus as well and obey him in the same way
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The husband is the head of his wife The Word of God here clearly establishes that the husband and the wife are not
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Equal to one another in terms of their authority in the home The husband is the authority over his wife and she is to submit to that authority
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And the rest of verse 23 says and he is the Savior of the body speaking about Jesus and his church The pronoun he is most likely referring to Christ in that phrase there
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Some think it's referring to the husband But the application is the same either way verses 22 and 23 are pretty well
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Detested by the world of unbelief and godlessness all around you Feminists pardon me hate even the sound of such words as submission headship
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Obedience, etc. When it comes to their relationships to men the feminist world around us does not like this passage
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That's not like what it says But the key to all this talk about the wife's submission to her husband's headship over her is that if this husband is a godly
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Man, the wife would not want it any other way She submits to her husband as to the
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Lord says Because just as it is her great joy to submit to Jesus It ought to be her great joy to submit to that man whose love for her knows no bounds
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Who lays his life down for her who defers to her who studies her? Pursues her and does everything he can think of to make her happy all the time
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This text of Scripture is wonderful to the woman who is well -loved Cherished studied and known by her husband's relentless pursuit of her
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Could it be that perhaps one of the reasons that the feminist push in our society is as strong as it is
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It's because men aren't like this Men aren't worth following anymore The woman who is secure who is happy who is nourished by a man who finds?
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Doing this his great joy and delight in life is loving his wife because he desires and longs to love her in the same way
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Jesus has loved him That woman reads Ephesians 5 22 and 23 and her heart is filled with joy
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Look at those verses again wives submit to your own husband's as to the Lord To the godly woman who has a godly husband that loves her
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Passionately pursues her she hears that it says amen. It's my great joy to do so Verse 23 the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church
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Yes, indeed. He is the head of my family and I submit to him and it's my great joy to do so Her husband is a walking embodiment of the gospel in her home
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And she is like the church to Jesus Christ in her husband's eyes You see how glorious that is if it's done
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Well, if it's taken seriously by the husband, it can be a wonderful thing a blessing a huge delight these two verses
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We ought to labor to make them Verses of Scripture that our culture loves again.
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What a joy what a blessed institution What an unspeakable wonder that we husbands are so privileged to love our wives in that way
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Now the ears of the watching world outside of Jesus Christ They hear all of us and they immediately think of men bullying and bossing women around And women being worn out waiting on their husband's hand and foot but in a godly household nothing could be further from the truth the church submits to in a subject to Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ is the church's
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Savior there is incredible mutual love and mutual affection and Encouragement to one another between Jesus and his church between the
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Christian husband and his dearest one his wife If you're a Christian, is it not the most wonderful part of your whole life to know that God loves you?
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To know that God really does love you. He loves me Aren't you so very thankful that in spite of your sin in spite of your coldness and the things of God at times in spite of your stubbornness
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That Jesus is love for you never diminishes at all no matter how Angry you get right before you're supposed to come here and preach because your son got his hand slammed in the door
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Jesus still loves me. It's amazing Such ought to be the case with husbands towards their wives as well
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A wife ought to have the greatest joy in her heart knowing her husband always puts her before himself
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He has a long track record of doing it and he always has her very best in mind She knows he does
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She's safe in his arms and his heart safely trusts in her. She finds joy in submitting to and obeying him
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Friends, this is something that unbelievers just do not understand Paul writing under the inspiration of the
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Holy Spirit gets even more bold look at verse 24 therefore Just as the church is subject to Christ.
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So let the wives be to their own husbands in everything it says
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The husband is following the example of Christ in the church when it comes to his Marriage and the wife must know that the husband is head over her and that she is subject to him in everything to drive home the point a wife
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Can no more rule over her husband and be head over him and the church That then the church could rule over and be the head of Jesus Christ Christ is the head of the church
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The husband is the head of the wife That's the way the creator of husbands and wives has so ordered it
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But remember that since the fall happened there's going to be a very strong desire in that woman's heart
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Genesis 3 16 God said to the woman. I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception and pain
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You shall bring forth children your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you
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Women will have to fight the sinful and rebellious impulse to try to control and dominate their husbands
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Try to usurp that headship That's a sinful desire. It must be suppressed in the hearts of women
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The passage will have more to say about this towards the end of it the point number two this evening verse 25 you see it
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Husbands love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her here we have the key to biblical male headship in the home a
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Man who would not love his wife as Jesus loves the church is quite simply abusing his headship
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A man who is by God's creative design and sovereign decree the head of his wife, but does not actively love her
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That man is a tyrant When Jesus first called his 12 disciples to himself, they were the very picture of raw materials
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They were common men with great potential Who had an incredible amount of maturing to do and a great deal of humility to learn
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This is true of all of God's people Jesus taught the service of the head to the bride in this most practical of ways
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He washed their filthy rebellious argumentative feet remember that narrative in John 13
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Jesus after washing off their feet said if I your Lord and teacher have washed your feet I'm your
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Lord and teacher. I who am the head over my church I just washed your feet you also ought to wash one another's feet
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For I have given you an example that you should do as I have done to you
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So the head of the church on earth the king of the universe Leads in a sense from below by washing by serving that's exactly what husbands are called to do for their wives
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Exactly what we're supposed to do right there Husbands and future husbands the same position of authority you will have one day over your wife as they call to service
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It's a call to humility to self -sacrifice to love You are to be a walking example of the gospel in your home
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And when the Word of God uses that word Love that word agape husbands agape your wives as Christ did the church.
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What does that word mean? What does agape all about first Corinthians 13 4 through 9 love suffers long and is kind love is patient Love does not envy love does not parade itself.
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Love is not puffed up Love does not just let me add some things here. Love does not exalt itself
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When you know your wife is wrong about something she's in sin and you know it it doesn't exalt itself in that way
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I got you pinned this time. You're the one who's wrong this time doesn't do that doesn't behave rudely does not seek its own
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It's not provoked. It thinks no evil. It does not rejoice in iniquity rejoices in the truth
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It bears all things believes all things hopes all things and doers all things and then lastly and most importantly love never fails
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He's Relentless in his love for his church. We are to be exactly the same in our love for our wives.
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We never fail She hasn't been keeping up her end of the bargain She hasn't been doing what she promised to do at her wedding doesn't matter love never fails
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You love your wife as Jesus loved the church Brethren until you are ready to do these things toward that woman.
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We have no business getting married God is calling for an all -out pursuit of that woman all -out love
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Total abandon to that mission to love that woman to do everything that you can do to seek her very best
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To make her happy to make her know how much she has loved every day of her life and to keep that eye -popping
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Smile on her face all the days of her life Even if she's not always easy to love you must love her with passion and great effort
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Remember what the text says before you here look at verse 25 again husbands Love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her
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How did Jesus love his church and give himself for her? Listen Christ is the initiator and pursuer of his bride his church
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Christ's love for his church praise. God does not depend on how lovable we happen to be day by day
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Jesus's love for the church is Irrespective of how we're doing. It's simply his willful decision to love us
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Relentlessly, but men who are married here is your great calling love your wife just as Jesus loved the church
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Men who will one day be married that will be your great calling from God That is one truth
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You never have to wonder about whether it's true Love her as Jesus loved the church and gave himself in behalf of her.
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Now, what does that phrase mean? That's the cross The death of Jesus in behalf of his church.
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He loved his church so much that he gave himself in behalf of her It's pretty amazing that husbands are told to do that very thing
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So men we are to die to ourselves die to our desires to our preferences die for her
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Die for her happiness die in order for her to be happy and to feel loved whatever it takes to make her happy and for Her to feel loved study her pursue her be sensitive to her
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Listen to her in focused attention Even if she's talking to you about things you have no interest in at all
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They must interest you because they interest her. This is what separates Christian men from everyone else around them look at verses 26 and 27
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That he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word that he might present her to himself a glorious church
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Not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing But that she should be holy and without blemish and here in verses 26 and 27 this those verses
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We just read we have the purpose For which Jesus loved and gave himself for his church for a select people in order that he would sanctify and cleanse them
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That they would be entirely free from spots wrinkles and blemishes that the people he came to save would be holy
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No greater love can be imagined than that Now obviously No, man can be his wife's
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Savior or actually make her holy But the spiritual well -being and the personal holiness and walk with Jesus Christ of his wife ought to be the husband's overriding concern this side of eternal glory
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Her walk with Jesus will be of the utmost importance to him And if the husband sees his wife suffering spiritually not growing in the grace and knowledge of Christ He will do all that is is in his power to remedy that situation.
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He will pray with her and for her He would try to give her time alone with the
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Word of God with some peace and quiet each day So she's able to commune with Christ whenever it takes the husband will find a way to do it
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Jesus did this for us up to the cost of his own life Jesus loved the church and gave himself for her on the cross.
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He died for her. So husbands give yourself for your wife Paul then goes on into an even more detailed description about how this is our reasonable service verse 28
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So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself
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This is I believe one of the most challenging passages of Scripture for every married man and every man who one day may be married to consider
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You have to weigh this one carefully in our minds and let the full impact of what it means press in on us
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Every day of our lives every moment that God has shared with us one of his daughters to be married to There is a fundamental oneness in the marriage covenant
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Which the Holy Spirit of God the creator of marriage is driving home to us here We love our wives as our own bodies and then that stirring phrase he who loves his wife loves who?
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himself To love her to love yourself The relationship that exists between a husband and wife is entirely unique in the whole world
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It's unlike any other relationship you will ever have with anyone But we are called upon to love all people
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The oneness of married people is in a different category all together As much as we're called upon to honor our father and mother
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The marriage relationship is still very different as much as we love our children The marriage relationship is still very different.
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The Word of God never says if we love our parents, we're loving ourselves It never says if we love our children, we're loving ourselves.
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But when the husband loves his wife, he's loving himself Look at verse 29
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For no one ever hated his own flesh But nourishes and cherishes it just as the
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Lord does the church For we are members of his body of his flesh and of his bones
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Remember what Jesus said to Saul of Tarsus on the road to Damascus about the church Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting?
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Who? Me! It's the same relationship the husband has with his wife Someone hurts her, they're hurting you.
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If you're unkind to her, you're being unkind to yourself. If you love her, you're loving yourself The point there is so very clear just as the
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Lord Jesus would never indeed could never hate one of his own adopted children who's part of his church, the husband must not ever hate or be cruel or Insensitive or unloving towards his wife
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Jesus loved the church and died to save her. The husband must have love on that same level, the same level of intensity, of passion, of unwavering commitment.
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No matter what circumstances we're in or how we feel or how stressed out we are or how sad or depressed or happy or whatever, we still have that calling.
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She is me This is why one of the greatest sins a man could ever do is commit adultery
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In the heart or with his physical body Adultery was a capital crime in the
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Old Testament Evidently God hates adultery more than he hates divorce because God will allow the innocent party to divorce their spouse if adultery is committed
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Let me tell you what adultery is really like. Let me tell you what it's really like Such would be akin to the
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Lord Jesus being turned over to those Roman guards to be scourged and then Crucified to save and redeem his church and then suddenly deciding at the last minute, you know
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I don't think they're really worth all this And then calling upon angels to destroy all of his persecutors
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Going back to heaven from once he came and leaving us all to die in our sins We don't want to be that way
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We don't want to be that way Men, please remember this just as Christ's own faithfulness does not depend on the goodness of those for whom he died the love of the husband for his wife must not depend on how good of a wife she is to him and We are the initiators.
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We're the initiators. We're the pursuers And we have to be like Jesus What did
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Jesus's disciples do in his hour of greatest need? When he needed them to be praying for him, what were they doing?
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Sleeping. Could you not even watch one hour? Apparently not. Apparently not You don't love your wife because of how good of a wife she is
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You love her because that's what you're commanded by God to do and it's supposed to mirror the same love Jesus has for his church The commandment to husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church has no qualifications.
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No caveats. No disclaimers When a man marries a woman he is to love her as Jesus loved at the church
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Even if that woman is the foolish woman of Proverbs 14 one Even if she's actively engaged in pulling down her house with her own hands even if she is that contentious woman who makes him want to dwell in the wilderness or live on the corner of the
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Housetop because she nags and criticizes and nitpicks at him constantly. He's still called to love her
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You see why the decision about who you marry is a pretty important one These statements in Scripture don't have qualifications attached to them.
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It's this is what you're supposed to do So make sure you do it Aren't we all glad that Jesus's love for us is still strong Even when we complain when we're spiritually cold when we sin when we're unfaithful to him, etc, etc, etc
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Husbands when you're nasty and sensitive cranky short or ugly towards your wife. You are mistreating yourself
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According to God's Word you are directly disobeying Christ and are betraying the most sacred promise you made in this life
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Marriage is that unique institution in this world in which you men have your highest and most holy Opportunity to be like Jesus.
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It is the greatest opportunity you have to be like Jesus You know We're not told to love the lost like Jesus loved the church or to love our parents or our children just as one person you
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Have this ultimate opportunity to be as Christlike as you could possibly be this side of eternal glory in your marriage
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It's your greatest opportunity to do so You don't get this opportunity with any other human beings
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You get the opportunity to love as Jesus loved only with your wife and she alone is you
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She alone is joined to you and the two of you are one flesh before God Think about what God just said to us here in this passage.
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Look at verse 29 again For no one ever hated his own flesh But nourishes and cherishes it just as the
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Lord does the church mistreating your wife is like purposefully Cutting yourself up with a knife or mistreating your wife is like starving yourself of food
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Treating your wife with scorn with bitterness with downright hate is the same as hating your own flesh
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Wives and wives to be If you refuse to submit to the leadership and the authority of your husband, you are directly disobeying
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Christ You are acting like the liberal church Think about it the liberal church
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Absolutely refuses to submit to the headship and leadership of Christ because they will not allow him to roll over them by his word
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They will not obey what his word teaches They have discarded biblical authority and thus our spiritual adulterers
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Ladies don't imitate the liberal churches in your marriage The authority of your husband is established by God Even if he isn't much of a leader or he's passive or he can be bitter and cold towards you
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The command to submit to him still stands This is why couples must know
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Christ together Know Christ together. You have to seek
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Christ together They must learn that when there are hardships and turmoil when there is fighting when words are spoken
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Which should not have been spoken when things are done Which should not have been done People have to learn who are married to take one another by the hand and go to their knees as one
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Before God and seek help as one Think about the way your marriage is described by God husbands
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Love your wives as Christ loved the church wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord You see that union that's there
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Jesus and his church Husbands, you're Jesus Wives you're the church
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Love them as Christ of the church wives submit to them as to the Lord that doesn't work If you don't know Christ together
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If you don't seek him together if you don't pray together if you don't pray for and with one another together
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It's always us together The assumption is that both are repentant followers of Christ.
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I Want to as an application of that I want to say to every single person here every person who's not married It is a sin for you to be romantically interested in or involved with an unbeliever
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Never ever do it Never ever do it 2nd
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Corinthians 6 14 do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers for what fellowship is righteousness with lawlessness
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And what communion has light with darkness and what accord has Christ would be loyal or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?
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Rhetorical question after rhetorical question is asked there And don't ever think
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I'm gonna missionary date someone I'm gonna convert them Don't presume to think you could do such a thing
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Don't presume to think that you're God And I want to tell you as well. Don't love someone
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Because of what you hope they might be one day If you can't love them for what they are today don't get involved them
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Verse 31 for this reason a Man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh
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This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church God gives the once -for -all
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Inalterable definition of marriage in the creation mandate the creation ordinance right there Paul quotes
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Genesis 2 24 Jesus quotes Genesis 2 24 and Matthew 19 and in Mark 10
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Marriage brings about the formation of a new covenantal unit before God when a man marries a woman
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He leaves his father and his mother and she leaves her father and mother as well So that they who were to become one before God Yes The married couple are still two people
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But their union is a type a picture of the union between Jesus and his church
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There is a relational bond between them, which is supposed to last until one of them is dead
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Marriage is supposed to be permanent and lasting for better for worse richer or poor sickness and health
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The two are made one by God and joined together by God the Lord Jesus Explicates Genesis 2 24 right after he cites it in Matthew 19 verse 5 in the following words in Matthew 19 6
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Jesus says so then they are no longer two but one flesh Therefore what
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God has joined together let not man separate The married couple is that which
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God has joined together They are not to be separated just as Christ is attached to and loyal to his church at all times
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For all eternity So also the husband and the wife are to cling to one another always as the only love of their life in that sacred category
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This is why all sexual contact outside of marriage is evil and it's wrong This is why all affairs whether they be emotional electronic in the heart or physical are evil and are wrong
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God calls married people to be fiercely loyal to one another to love each other deeply to be kind to one another to give
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Affection to one another and always to have the other's very best in mind Husbands when you look at your wife when you think about her
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Please remember that you are called to love her in a way that you do not love any other person and never will
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Your love for her is to mirror the love that Jesus has for his church. What an incredible thing to consider
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Christ's love for his bride. The church is not paralleled by anything in the universe
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The husband's love and devotion to his wife has no parallel anywhere in creation
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When marriage is done like this when it's done well like that what a tremendous blessing it is indeed
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What a shield against the the onslaught of the world But when it's not marriage can be a curse
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It can be a curse Look at the last verse verse 33 Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular.
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So love his own wife as himself See him emphasizing it again and let the wife see that she respects her husband
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Everyone needs love everyone needs respect But women have a special need for the love and affection of their husbands
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Women thrive when their husbands are actively engaged in pursuing them doing things for them planning things which make them happy So many women wither because once that man has won her affections and and has her he just sort of quits pursuing her like he once did
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Husbands and husbands to be you must not allow that to happen You must fan the flame of your love for her of the passion you once had for her which caused her to be on your thoughts
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So much that you actually figured her out enough to win her affections Wives you also need to reverence respect your husband.
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You need to respect him. He needs your respect He needs love too. But what he really wants is your admiration
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He wants your confidence your confidence in his ability to lead This is why a woman who criticizes and doesn't encourage her husband.
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She's pulling down her house with her own hands Proverbs 14 1 The wise woman builds her house, what does that mean?
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It's not talking about the frame It's talking about the people especially her husband. She builds him helps him. Maybe he's not a very good leader
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Maybe doesn't make the wisest decisions, but she's helping him. She's encouraging him to gain that confidence
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The woman that doesn't do that. She's the dripping on a rainy day Ladies that man you married or will marry he's got feet of clay and hopefully hopefully a heart of gold by the grace of God But he can't be what he's supposed to be.
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He cannot be what he's supposed to be without your respect Without your admiration without your encouragement. He needs your words.
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He needs to feel wanted by you He needs to feel that you're confident in his leadership Look at his strengths and encourage them build them up bring out the best in them men make that woman glow like she did the day you married her and make sure that time and life and Children don't cause that glow that she once had the fade away
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In conclusion this evening we live in a culture where covenant breaking is the new normal It's just the new normal divorce rates are higher than they ever been
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Statistically today forty two percent of children born in America will never have a father as part of their life
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Forty two almost half of kids born in this nation will never had a have a dad that's and even remotely interested in them
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That's up from six percent in 1960. That's a seven hundred percent increase
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We're not doing marriage overly well There is such incredible need for biblical reform and biblical maturity regarding marriage and for young people to have a vision
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They've been taught by our Insane culture to look at marriage is almost a dirty thing something you just put off.
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Don't worry about it And yet we need to see it and it's exalted status the way it's presented to us in the
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Bible We're not doing well with regard to the serious nature of the promise you make when you marry someone you promise before God and witnesses
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That you will love this person and be loyal to them and only them until death separates you Now today forget the promises that people make the very definition of marriage itself was under attack
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We don't even know what it is anymore This sacred and beautiful institution created by God is being dragged through a sewer of filth and perversion these days
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We can point fingers all day long But what all of us needs to do is look at ourselves in the mirror if you are married or think you might one day
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Be married yourself. You need to look carefully at this passage of Scripture right here in Ephesians chapter 5
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We must first work on biblical reformation of what we are able to control first and foremost ourselves
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Husbands look into your wife's face and See if that spark you once saw is still there.
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I Shared with you a story. I found the more details about it But married couple who were deeply in love with one another and their marriage started out very very sweet The love for one another they have was real.
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It was passionate, but over time their careers pulled them apart. She was a reporter He was an attorney
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They often had to live apart for months at a time and eventually their marriage became merely functional And they would meet up when their schedules allowed for it from time to time
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But they really didn't have a whole lot of time to talk anymore The first few years of their marriage are very sweet But shortly after their 25th anniversary, they met up for coffee because their flights made it possible for them to see each other
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And they sat there at the table together But they were both reading something else instead of talking to each other and he was reading legal documents and she was reading a magazine
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The husband stopped reading for just a few moments and looked up into her face across the table after being married for 25 years
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She didn't know that he was looking at her and he looked at that face That once bright -eyed enthusiastic confident face that glowed was now marked by deep crevices weariness a lack of confidence and a cigarette hanging out of the side of her mouth and The man thought to himself
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I created that face That's an extreme example, but do you see the point?
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You see the point our society is dying because men don't love their wives anymore Wives don't submit to their husbands anymore.
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And when love disappears, what are we left with? We don't have love between human beings.
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What are we left with? You know, we praise people for so many things Things they can do talents that they have accomplishments that they have accomplished intelligence
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ACT scores What about the man who has taken his duty to love his wife very seriously and You can see it in that woman's face and you can see it in her confidence.
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You can see it in her life What about the woman? Who took a man with a few strengths and a lot of weaknesses and made him something great that he could never have been without her respect and her encouragement
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Man, when you look into your wife's face, remember she entrusted her future happiness in this life in your hands
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She put her heart and her entire future in your hands Women when you look into your husband's face
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Remember that more than anything that man has needed your help to be and do what God has asked of them and he cannot do that Without your help without your respect without your love.
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So how are we all doing we who are married? How are we doing? Jesus died for the sins that we commit as married people, thankfully
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Our failures as husbands and wives were nailed to the cross and we bear them no more But I want to encourage husbands and husbands to be wives and wives to be
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Make this something you study and think about a lot
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So much emphasis is put on career But how much preparation goes into the most supremely important relationship in a person's life second only to their relationship with God How much study do we invest in trying to improve how well we love our wife?
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How well wives respect their husbands? Could it be that perhaps one of the reasons the recent attack on marriage has been so Shockingly successful is that people today don't see the value of marriage anymore
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There's so much brokenness so much heartache so much dysfunction What's the big deal if marriage is redefined?
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Why isn't our culture more up in arms about it? It's been nothing but a curse to so many anyway marriage has been so who cares about it
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It's our duty as the church to show the world. It's precious and it's special and it's something we care deeply about Remember marriage is sacred and it's holy and let's always treat it as such
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One of the most powerful testimonies that we as God's people will have to the watching world is the love that we have in our marriages
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That's an argument for which there can be no answer from the scoffers and the unbelievers of the world
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Happy marriage Or a husband loves his wife. He adores her He pursues her relentlessly through the thick and thin of life through the humdrum through the children through everything.
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He pursues her relentlessly that's So uncommon today that it can't help but speak the reality that Jesus is alive
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Same thing with the wife who makes it her mission in life to help him to help him be better than he could ever be by himself
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So to that end, I want you to hear it one more time listen to verse 22 and numbers 25
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Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord And then verse 25 husbands love your wives
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Just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her. Let's pray Our God and Father thank you for giving us this blessed institution of marriage like everything else that we have
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It's something we don't deserve and we're not worthy of But Lord those of us who are married or one day will be married
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We really want our marriages to glorify Jesus and to model your grace and forgiveness
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Help us to remember how important it is It's not important to the world and sadly doesn't seem to be all that important to much of the church
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But Lord we want to be godly in our marriages and we want our marriages to reflect To the world around us the very same love that Jesus had for his church
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It's a love that is a self -giving and self -denying and self -sacrificial as they could possibly be and we want the submission and Dutiful obedience of the wife to her husband to be that of the church to her head
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Jesus Christ So Lord forgive us for our shortcomings And may our marriages be as precious and as important to us as they are to you pray in Jesus name.
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Amen This is pastor
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Patrick Hines of Bridwell Heights Presbyterian Church located at 108 Bridwell Heights Road in Kingsport, Tennessee And you've been listening to the
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Protestant Witness podcast Please feel free to join us for worship any Sunday morning at 11 a .m Sharp where we open the
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Word of God together sing his praises and rejoice in the gospel of our risen Lord You can find us on the web at www .bridwellheightspca
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.org May the Lord bless you and keep you the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you