(Biblical Family) Biblical Manhood - Part 2 — Voddie Baucham

Man doesn't work, don't let him eat. You know, there are some times when in church, it is sinful to give benevolence to a man. If a man is lazy, God intends for him to be hungry. So if we're giving to a man who is lazy, we're actually working against God.

And the Bible says here clearly in black and white, if a man doesn't work, don't let him eat. Don't feed a man who's not willing to work, don't do it. Don't do it, you are encouraging his laziness, don't do it.

Hunger is an incredible motivator. Even Adam, before the fall, in perfect, pristine surroundings, worked the garden. He worked it. Turn with me to the right, look at 1 Timothy 5. This is a spiritual issue here.

Verse eight, if anyone does not provide for his relatives and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. A commitment to God honoring labor is a mark of biblical manhood.

It is an absolute necessity. And it's not just individuals who are not willing to work. Again, my point here is not that you have a man who just doesn't like work or is just unwilling to work. I mean, it's also if a man doesn't like to work.

If he's not committed to doing all that his hands find to do and sees that as honoring God, everything that my hands find to do, I do it to bring honor and to bring glory to God. And I see excellence in that.

I seek excellence. I want excellence in everything my hands find to do. That's biblical manhood. Biblical manhood says I may be a street sweeper, but I tell you what, at the cleanest streets in the whole city, because I clean streets to the glory and honor of God.

You can go to work every day and still be lazy. Amen. You can go to school every day and still be lazy. You can go to school every day and make good grades and still be lazy. That was me. Find out that you can kind of make it.

Find out that you can memorize things well. So what do you do? Wait until the last minute. That's a mark of laziness. When you go into a class, are you interested in maximizing your mastery of the subject or doing as little as possible to gain the grade that you need?

Which is it? Answer that question and you answer whether or not you're lazy. What are you studying? Whatever can get you out the quickest or whatever takes full advantage of the gifts, talents, abilities, and desires that God has given you for his glory and for his honor.

What is it? What is it? Ladies, these are the kind of questions we have to ask. You see, when you and I sit down together and we're talking about your future, mate, this is the stuff that we have to discuss.

Commitment to the Law of God

No lazy men. That's not biblical manhood. Secondly, not only a commitment to God honoring labor, but also a commitment to the law of God. Back in Genesis 2, and the Lord God commanded the man saying, "'You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, "'but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, "'you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it, "'you shall surely die.'".

That's the law of God. We don't even have the 10 commandments, but we've already got a law of God. God lays down a law right here in the midst of perfection. So we don't have the law of God because of imperfection.

No, before the fall, we had the law of God. Before the fall, he must be committed to the law of God. Most men don't know the law of God, let alone are committed to it. They don't know it. One of the little tests, here's an interesting little test.

I want you to think right now in your mind of the 10 commandments. You know, 95 of Americans do not. And that's as true of church goers as it is of those who don't go to church. Do you know the law of God?

And again, I'm not saying everything. Do you just know the most basic? The 10, you don't get more basic than the Decalogue. You don't get more basic than the 10 commandments. Do you know the 10 commandments?

And men, if your answer to that is no, here's what I want to ask you. How are you going to sit up here in my face asking me for my daughter and you don't even know the 10 commandments? You're supposed to be a godly man into whose hands I entrust one of the greatest resources that God has given to me and you don't know the basics of his law?

Get out of my house. It's exactly what I'd say to you. And don't come back again unless you at least know that much of the law of God. Why? Because you are asking to be the father of my future generations.

And they will not be lawless. Committed to the law of God. Committed to the law of God. And again, for most of us, I mean, that's just something that's just foreign. We just don't know. Give me half. Give me five.

You see? But again, don't feel bad. This is the culture that we live in. Remember what I told you? We've been lied to. This is the culture that we live in. We sit here going, ball field, billfold, bedroom.

Is he committed to God honoring labor? He's a great ball player. Is he committed to the law of God? Is he? He's got a lot of money. If we're interested in biblical manhood, we have to be interested in the law of God.

By the way, part of his responsibility is to communicate to you, ladies, the law of God. God gives this law to Adam. Adam turns around and gives this law to Eve. And one of the problems, don't know for certain, because the text doesn't necessarily say for certain, but when Eve communicates the law, when she's talking to the serpent, and by the way, her husband is there, so he's not protecting his wife, huge problem.

Adam's Sin, Responsibility, and Headship Before the Fall

Chapter three. Now, the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, did God actually say you shall not eat of any tree of the garden? And the woman said to the serpent, we may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, you shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it lest you die.

Wow, that's not what God said, is it? She hasn't been properly discipled. That's why in Romans five, it says through the sin of one man, Adam. Fall didn't come through the sin of Eve, fall comes through the sin of Adam.

Who's responsible? There's headship here, even here. But wait a minute, I thought that headship was because of the fall, and when there was the curse, and God curses Eve, and it says that he shall rule over you, and that's where we got this whole idea of headship, which again is why some egalitarians argue that when we become Christians, that that whole idea of headship is no longer relevant because now we've sort of reversed that idea of the fall, and because of that, we have this egalitarian idea, no longer this idea of headship.

Newsflash, we see headship way before the fall. Well, how do we see headship before the fall? Who was made first? According to first Corinthians chapter 11, Paul says Adam has headship because he was made first.

By the way, Adam is exercising dominion over all of these other creatures by what? Naming them. Eve shows up on the scene, what does he do? Names her headship before the fall. So what does headship mean?

Me mind you woman, me say you do. No, that's not headship. Headship means you don't get to say, God, it was that woman that you gave me. That's what Adam did. He threw his wife under the bus, then he tried to throw God under the bus.

What happened? That woman that you gave me. You also see headship because when Adam is cursed, what does God say? Because you listened to your wife. You did not exercise the headship that you were given.

Husbands as Disciples and Spiritual Leaders

In Ephesians chapter five, we see this picture of the husband washing his wife with the water of the word. In Ephesians chapter six, we see this picture of the husband. In Ephesians chapter six, and by the way, we get a repeat of part of the law.

We get a repeat of the fifth commandment. In Ephesians chapter six, children obey your parents and the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and your mother, which is the first commandment of the promise that it may go well with you and you may live long in the land.

And fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but you bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Can I ask you a question, ladies? If it's a man's responsibility to disciple his wife and his children, why on earth would you go get a man who doesn't know the law of God?

It happens all the time. That's not a man. That's a fractured vessel. That's not a man. And so here you are saying, I'm going to be the mother of thousands in generations to come. And because I think more about the ball field and billfolds and the bedroom, I will sacrifice the spiritual future of generations to come so that I can be satisfied with what the world says is most valuable.

God help us. God help us. Because that's exactly what women are saying all over the place and claiming to be followers of Christ. Coming up talking about the possibility of marrying non-believers and in relationships with men who are non-believers.

First of all, that's black and white. Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians. That's black and white. Do not be an equity yoke with an unbeliever. Do not. That's a clear cut command. It's not even an option. I'm not even talking about that.

That's not even worthy of discussion. If you're thinking about that, I'm going back to message number one and I'm questioning whether or not you're even converted. I'm talking here, not just about whether or not a person is coming into the kingdom by the skin of their teeth.

I'm talking about whether or not somebody knows the law well enough to teach it to you and to your children. Until you meet a man that's qualified to disciple you and your children, you have not met a man who's qualified to be your husband.

Marriage, Singleness, and the Primacy of Family

Did I make that clear enough? Do all of my daughters hear that? He must be committed to the law of God. He has to be. He has to be. Finally, this man must be committed to the primacy of the family. Back in Genesis chapter two, I want you to see this.

There in verse 18, we see that statement. It is not good that man should be alone. I want you to grasp. I just, I want you to grasp the magnitude of that statement. Six days in creation, there is the same pattern over and over again.

Day one, let there be, then there was, it was good. Day two, let there be, then there was, it was good. Day three, let there be, then there was, it was good. Day four, all together, let there be, then there was, it was good.

Day five, let there be, then there was, it was good. Day six, let there be, then there was, it was good. Every day, same pattern. First time in the creation process, God says something is not good, it's when a man doesn't have a woman.

The first time in creation, God says something is not good. At D, does this mean that every man has to be married in order to be complete? No, because we know, for example, in Matthew 19, Jesus refers to some as being eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom.

We know in 1 Corinthians chapter seven, Paul refers to those in those circumstances in 1 Corinthians chapter seven, because he says, I believe it's in verse 26, because of the present distress, it is good for you to remain as you are.

So we know that there are circumstances under which there are times when it may be better off for a man not to take a wife. And we know that there are individuals who have a special calling and gifting from God not to take a wife.

So we know that when we look at the totality of scripture, we know that. However, let me say this, marriage is the preferred position. I argue from this text, every man ought to be prepared to be a husband and every woman ought to be prepared to be a wife.

I'm raising every one of my sons and preparing my sons to be a husband. I'm raising my daughters and preparing my daughters to be wives. Well, what if God has called them to be single? Here's the thing.

Is there one standard for godly married people and another standard for godly single people? No, no, there's not. So I can't go wrong by preparing them to be the kind of person who's qualified to be a husband and a wife.

I can't go wrong, can't go wrong. Well, I don't agree with that because Jesus was single. Yeah, that's true, but he's engaged. Bible says the church is his bride and there's going to be a wedding. Jesus, our model of ultimate manhood is engaged.

Amen, hallelujah, praise the Lord. And so if we want men to be Christ-like, they need to be men who are committed to the family. That's not what our culture says. Our culture says men are to treat marriage like a plague to be avoided as long as possible.

Resisting Cultural Delay of Marriage

That's what our culture said, even in the church. I know this, I got married the summer between my sophomore and junior year in college. I had just turned 20 years old. I didn't even have, I didn't have a driver's license.

I got a driver's license so I could get my marriage license. I did, I went into the place and I had my student ID and they said they wouldn't give me a marriage license. I was like, well, what you need?

Well, you can get a passport and it'll take you this long or you can get a license and it'll take you this long. And I heard, I mean, oh man, Christian people, church folks, they were just, it was like I was getting, it was like it was sin.

You're what? We're getting married, we're getting married. You get, but you're, you're so young. I'm like, yeah, good, yeah, yeah. I mean, we get longer to be married to each other. What, do you have your whole life ahead of you?

Yes, yes, I do. And I'm looking at her. Oh, but see, uh-uh, that's not the way the church teaches young men to think about marriage. Marriage is something to be put off as long as possible. Even in the church, you need to go and be and do.

Here's what we're communicating to young men. And we don't even realize this is what we're saying. You need to suck all of the joy out of life. And then when you've done that, come to some woman and give her the leftovers.

That's what we're teaching young men. Not you need to have as a priority in your mind that you are preparing to be a husband and a father with a multi-generational vision of raising up arrows to launch for the sake of the kingdom of God.

In your youth, protect your purity. And when you become a man, guard yourself and pray that God would perchance grant unto you in your youth, a woman with whom you can start a dynasty. That's how I want my sons to think.

But people treated us like there was some, there was a book in the Bible that we hadn't read yet that said it was, you know, second hesitations or something, you know, says thou shalt not marry until after graduation, you know.

My Bible says when a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing, amen. I'm like, wait a minute, man, I found my good thing. You want me to wait? She might get away. Well, you guys just need to, you just need to hold off.

You just need to wait. Why? It's better to marry than to burn with passion. I want her, but I will not defile her. Therefore, I'm going to marry her. Well, you just need to wait. Two reasons I can't do that.

Well, what two reasons you can't do that? Number one, if I ask my wife or my fiancee to wait for me to graduate before we get married, I am saying to her that my education is more important to me than my marriage, and that's wrong.

No way in the world my education is more important than my marriage, and I won't communicate that to her. I won't start my marriage off by putting things before my wife. Problem number two, the wisest man in the Bible, the strongest man in the Bible, and the most godly man in the Bible all fell into sexual sin.

I am not wiser than Solomon. I am not more godly than David, and I am not stronger than Samson. I need to get married. If some of you out there know exactly what I'm talking about, because you're one of these people who come up to me sometime and say things like, yes, we're gonna get married in the spring of 2011.

Help you. See, we've been taught to put everything else before marriage and family, everything else. First time we see God saying that it's not good. Here's the other thing that you see. You see God saying, for this cause shall a man leave his mother and father and be united with his wife.

Cleave unto his wife, be joined unto his wife. For this cause, a man will leave his mother and father. Now, in order to understand that, you gotta understand something that happens later on in the law.

The Fifth Commandment and the Priority of Marriage

We already quoted from Ephesians chapter six, what Paul says there to the church, there in his Ephesian letter about the first commandment with a promise. That's the fifth commandment, all right? So some of y 'all, I just helped you out.

You okay, you're just a little bit closer now to one of my daughters. That's the fifth commandment, okay? Now, sometimes the law is referred to as being written in two tables, the two tables of the law.

The first four commandments are the vertical commandments about our duty to God. The last six about our duty to man. Now, here's what's interesting about that. You don't get a promise until commandment number five.

Now, that's significant when you understand what one through four are, that don't have promises. And I'll just paraphrase them for you. Commandment number one, I'm God, you don't get another one. Amen?

That's the first commandment. God, can we get a promise with that? Nope, no promise. Commandment number two, don't even make nothing that look like me. Okay, we gotta get a promise with that one. We can't even make little, nope, no promise, just do it.

Commandment number three, don't mess with my name. Huh? That's right. Don't even misuse my name. No, you're gonna give us a promise with that one. Stuff slips all the time. No, no. Commandment number four, work for six days, but not on the seventh.

Don't even mess with my day. Can we get a promise with that? No. Commandment number five, honor your father and your mother. With that one, I give you a promise. You think that's not significant? It's the first one in the second table.

It's number one on the hit parade. Honor your father and your mother. It's commandment number five. You know what it comes before? Six, don't murder. Seven, don't commit adultery. Eight, don't steal. Nine, don't bear false witness.

10, don't covet. And so we see there in the fifth commandment, this importance of honoring your mother and your father. There's a commandment. Honor your mother and your father. But what does God say about marriage, both in Genesis two and then again in Ephesians chapter five, for this cause, what cause?

Marriage. Shall you leave your mother and father and be joined to your wife? For this cause. That ought to give you just a little glimpse into the importance of marriage in the economy of God. Is every man called to be married?

No, there are some, very few, who have a special gift or dispensation from God to not, and that's not part of the situation. But whether you're married or not, you still are committed to biblical family.

Family Character as a Test of Future Husbands

Even in your own family. For example, back in Ephesians chapter six, children, obey your parents and the Lord. But this is right. Honor your father and your mother, which is the first commandment with a promise.

So even in the context of your home, whether you ever get married or not, because here's the question that my daughters wanna ask me. And I know you wanna ask me that, because I'm your daddy, I know you, okay?

And you're going, okay, daddy, how do we know if a man is committed to marriage and family? He's never had marriage. Yeah, but he's been part of a family. Is he obedient and respectful? And does he honor his mother and father?

If he doesn't, he's not gonna honor his marriage. So daughters, don't you bring me a disobedient, disrespectful son, because if I wasn't willing to raise one, I'm not willing to let you marry one into my family, okay?

Does he understand the biblical concept of family? Does he have a multi-generational vision? Does he view himself as a father? Is he committed to children? Is he committed to that? Is he committed to providing for you in such a way that you can devote your life to those children?

Is he committed to that? Or is he some pragmatic, utilitarian, materialistic American who sees you as another wage earner so he can live in ease? By the way, this was the minimalist version. But there's a whole lot more to it than this.

The Three Foundations of Biblical Manhood

But if we're just stripping it down to the bare minimum, he must be committed, first and foremost, to God-honoring labor. Secondly, he must be committed to God's law. And thirdly, he must be committed to a biblical, multi-generational view of family.

That is the very least that one would expect from anyone who claims to exemplify biblical manhood. And I know our time, we need to start our other session.