Overcoming the Pain of Regret — Shane Idleman

Overcoming the Pain and Cycle of Regret

If you have your Bibles, you can turn to Matthew 21, Matthew 21, verse 28. But I'm not going to go right into the text. I'm going to talk to you tonight about the topic of regret. And actually, more specific, overcoming the pain of regret.

Does anybody have any regret in this room? The first service wasn't very honest, so I need some honesty at the second. Okay, thank you. Because nobody raised their hand. I'm like, well, this is pointless, right, Jim?

We're all good here. But this type of message, too, you're going to want to probably get copies of, CD or online, and send it to people because there's a lot of people dealing with regret. The addict who has lost everything, the person whose marriage is falling apart, moms and dads who look back and they say, we just did not raise our kids good.

We have so much regret. And we live in a lot of regret if we allow the enemy to come in and continue to badger us in that area. And I'm just going to talk about three things. I'm going to talk about the pain of regret, the path of regret, and the power of regret.

And no, I didn't plan it with three Ps. It just happened that way. But the pain of regret, the path of regret, and the power of regret. Because I truly believe that God can take stumbling blocks and turn them into stepping stones when we give him everything.

Interesting thing, the first point, the pain of regret. Regret is one of Satan's tools to discourage us. It can lead to shame and depression. It's an endless cycle that leads us back into sin and bondage.

So this is the harm with regret. I regret something and I get into this mode of regret and shame, and then it causes me to fall back into the very thing that put me there. And then I fall back into the sin and regret and shame, and then because of that, because now I'm depressed and regretting and just feel like worthless before God, I fall back into the thing that put me there again.

And it's this endless cycle that I believe God wants us to get out of. And what happens is private sin will eventually become public disgrace. Private sin, when sin runs its course, will become public disgrace.

Everybody thinks, well, I can just hide this little sin here, and no, as James says, it grows like a little child, and it gets bigger and bigger, and sin eventually leads to death, death of a marriage, death of a family, death of a spiritual life toward God.

And the enemy will use that, he'll expose things so we get caught in the cycle of regret. With that said, though, there is tremendous hope. Here's the hope, if you choose to encounter the pain of discipline over the pain of regret.

And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there are two pain. I mean, you're going to feel pain either way. There's living with the pain of regret. And any of you who've been there, you know, and if some of you stuck in that, the pain of regret is very debilitating.

But you're going to either have to experience the pain of regret or the pain of discipline. When Jesus said, count the cost, pick up your cross, follow me, there are certain spiritual disciplines that must occur in order to pull us out of the pit of regret.

And the reason I call it a pit of regret is because what happens is you've got to get out of that one step at a time. There is a way out, there is hope, there is freedom. But it's one step at a time. And we want to tell people that, you do get out.

I want to tell the addict in their fifth recovering home, you can get out, or the person on their third marriage, and now they're heading to divorce court, you can get out. I've blown it in this area, but you can get out of that pit of regret.

Don't allow the enemy to keep you there. I like what Paul said, one thing I do, one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and pressing forward to the things that are ahead. This is Paul who killed Christians.

This is Paul who mocked the church. This is the same Paul who held the coats as they killed Stephen, the first martyr. And he said, I forget those things that are behind, and I push forward to the goal of honoring Christ.

And unfortunately, it's often not until a person hits rock bottom that they turn to God unconditionally. I wish it wasn't true, but that's the sad truth of everything, is many people, until they hit rock bottom, don't turn everything over to God.

That's the wonderful thing about, say, you turn for Christ, or David Wilkerson, Teen Challenge, those kinds of things, is people get to the rock bottom, and then they finally turn everything over to the Lord.

Rock Bottom as the Place of Divine Restoration

But I want to talk about that rock bottom moment for a minute. I think I read this excerpt last summer, but I thought of it this week, and I wanted to again read it because it's so important. And it's from the book Embracing Rock Bottom.

She said this, maybe you've hit your rock bottom moment. Maybe you're right there now. If so, I've got good news for you. Many times, God does his best work in our lives when we are at rock bottom. When we are finally there, you know that you've got nothing except what God can give you.

And let me tell you, friend, that's the best place to be. Embrace your rock bottom moment. They continue, realize, the author continues, realize that while you are at your very low point, possibly the lowest in your life, God doesn't want you to stay there.

That's vitally important. God does not want you to stay there. As Psalm 346 says, I cried out to the Lord in my suffering, and he heard me. He set me free from all my fears. Thank God it doesn't say, I cried out to the Lord in my suffering.

He said, too bad, stay there. These are your consequences. Leave me alone. He just says, cry out to me. Cry out to me in your suffering and your despair. I will hear you, and I will set you free. That's one of the wonderful things about a rock bottom is it can focus us back towards God.

Your greatest failure and your lowest point, your rock bottom moment may very well be the precise time and place that God is choosing to begin a great work in you. If you're willing to humble yourself and allow God to start the process.

In the rock bottom, really what it is, you've heard that term, a person gets to the end of themselves, and they finally say, I'm done. It's over. God, please, would you save me? That's so true. Many times we get to our rock bottom, and we get depressed, and we start to regret, and we go back into addiction, back into bondage, back into relationships, because we're at that rock bottom saying, woe is me.

Instead of looking at that point and saying, God, now you can rebuild my life. To be honest with you, to be transparent, in 1998, I hit my rock bottom. I lost financially. I lost relationally. My wife divorced me.

I had biblical grounds, adultery, abandonment, alcohol, addiction, arrogance. Everything took its toll. I mean, just bam. Everything. The prodigal son was eating with the swine. And God used that rock bottom moment to turn me back to him.

Actually, there would be no West Side Christian Fellowship if it wasn't for God redirecting me in that rock bottom moment in time. So I have a great passion to help people when they're at the rock bottom, understanding that when God rebuilds a life, no man can shut that door.

No man can pull you back. When God rebuilds and when God strengthens, and we look at the rock bottom as a ton of regret. I've blown it now. Everybody knows. I've got this big D on my forehead. You've been there.

You know that. This is just misery. This is depression. God says, good. Now you'll get rid of everything you think about yourself. You'll remove that arrogance. You'll remove that pride. Now I can shape and humble you and mold you like a piece of clay.

The rock bottom moment. So we look at the rock bottom. We look at the regret as this is over. I'm toast. I've ruined everything. God says, no, now you're in a position to where you'll hear my voice and you'll truly follow me.

So whoever you know, if you get this message out to them or if you need to hear this, understand that God can use your rock bottom moment, this period of tremendous regret, and it can thrust you to him.

Because we've talked about this. How do you know God is healer unless you've ever been sick? How do you know him as Jehovah Jireh, my provider, unless you've ever been in need? How do you know him as the great redeemer unless you've ever been held captive?

How do you know him as the God of the universe unless you've looked up at the stars and cried out to him? I mean, we usually don't know God in his fullness until we go through something, until we hit that rock bottom moment.

But I need to say this. The pain may not leave completely, but God's grace will be sufficient. And people need to be reminded that sometimes they hit their regretting and they cry out to God and two days go by and they go, but Shane, I still feel the pain.

Yeah, I do too. Many times. I feel the pain. I feel the anguish of mistakes I've made in my past. If I could go back, whoa, if I could go back. If I could go back, I'd probably have a 24-year-old son or daughter.

I've talked about before. And when I conceded to my girlfriend's request to abort our child 24 years ago and living, I mean, that never leaves. I don't know about you, but that pain is there. There's consequences, but God's grace is sufficient.

And I don't know how this works, but I thank God that it works, that sometimes the greater the pain, the greater the relationship with the Father. Those who have been forgiven much, love much. So tremendous pain brings a tremendous relationship with God.

My grace is sufficient. See, most people don't really understand God's grace until they've been to a point to where they've been so desperate for Him that His grace actually becomes a reality. We look back and we say, God, I should have died 10 years ago or 20 years ago or 30 years ago, but Your grace has held me.

Your grace has sustained me. That's why Paul said, Remove this thing from me. We don't know what it is. A lot of people think they know what it is. You don't know what it is. Paul said that he was given a thorn to buffet him, a messenger of Satan to keep him humble.

And he prayed, and he prayed, God, take this away. And God said, My grace is sufficient. Somehow, someway, this pain draws us into a deeper relationship with God. And thank God for that. And I've seen people.

You have too. As I say, they were raised in a leave-it-to-beaver home. They went to school, and nothing's really ever bad has happened. They don't know God in a powerful way often. They don't know Him as Healer and Redeemer.

They've never cried out to Him at 2 in the morning. They've never spent 3 hours on their knees before Him and in the Word of God with tear-stained pages, ministering to their heart. And then they come out of there, and they know God.

See, there's a big difference between knowing God intellectually and knowing God relationally. Many people have religion but not a relationship. And it's often through that pain and through that suffering that that relationship is built.

It's a very healthy thing. I also want to remind you that you plus God is a majority. If you have God, you have all you need. And you are far better than 70 of the entire world. Now add to that the blessings of America, and you're in the top 1%.

And I see so many people, they're going through so much. And thank God you have friends and family members that love you, and they'll walk through this with you. Look, you have a roof over your head. You have running water.

You have you plus God as a majority. And you can get back on track. You can take that pain of regret and put it off to the side. So that was the introduction, the pain of regret. Let me read Matthew 21 -28.

Repentance and the Two Sons

And Jesus is asking this question. It's actually an amazing question. He's standing with the religious leaders. He's talking to these. Now these are religious leaders. So we think, oh, they must have been Christians.

They weren't Christians. Actually, the word Christian didn't come until later when the disciples were first called Christians in Antioch after Christ left. But there could be, in the time when Jesus walked the earth, there could be followers, people who have repented and believe that he is the Messiah.

So you have these religious leaders who have not repented. They actually mock John the Baptist ministry at the Jordan River. And they're questioning Jesus. So Jesus says, what do you think? Matthew 21 -28.

What do you think? A man had two sons, and he came to the first and said, Son, go and work today in my vineyard. And he answered and said, I will not. But afterward, he regretted it and went and worked in the vineyard.

Then he came to his second son, and he said to the son, go and work in the vineyard. And he said, oh, I'll go, sir. But he did not go. So Jesus asked the question, which one of these two did the will of the Father?

Do we all know the answer, I hope? First one. But Jesus says, who did the will of the Father? But he said, no, I'm not going to go. But he regrets. See, that's the power of regret, the power of repentance.

A person can be out of God's will, and a moment later be in God's will. It's a mystery. The son is, I'm not going to go work in the field. I'm out of your will. But he regretted it. He turned. Repentance is a change of mind that leads to a change of action.

The real word, repentance, I believe it's mataneo in the Greek, or nakam in the Hebrew language. If you study those things, it's interesting. It's mentally and physically. I have to think it, and then I have to act it out.

Because you can't just repent in your mind without actions backing it up. And some people do the right actions, but their mind is not repented. They just don't want to get caught again. So true repentance is the mind changing and the feet following.

That's true repentance. And that's what this man did. He said, I will not, but then he went and repented, and he was back in the center of God's will. Now, I'm going to make a statement here. I know it's true.

You can think it's not if you want to. But all of us have said at one time or another to God, I will not. Everybody in this room. You don't have me fooled for one second. Everybody in this room has told God at one point or another, like this man did, I will not.

I will not do that. I will not go. I will not do what you're convicting me to do. But that's really not the point. The big question is, do you change course? See, it's not have I disobeyed God. It's what am I doing now.

And I think that's a word of encouragement for some people today. You know there are areas that God has been convicting you in. You've been saying, I will not. And it's time to say, I will. It's time to get back on track.

I don't know if it's changing anything from changing lifestyle habits, addictions, relationships you know you should have ended, people you should have forgiven, unforgiveness, bitterness. Whatever it is, there's something out there for some of you that you need to get back in the center of God's will.

It's time to stop fighting God and stop ignoring that and get back in the center of God's will by following that conviction. And many people, actually, who did the will of the Father? That brings up another question.

God's Will: Salvation, Worship, Holiness, and Discipleship

A lot of people ask, I'm sure you've asked before, what is God's will? Have you ever thought that? What is God's will? Well, I'm going to share with you a few things right out of Scripture that says this is God's will for your life.

Start here. This is where we start. Number one, God's will. And you can get these in 1 Timothy, 1 Thessalonians, Ephesians, and Matthew. I have references if you need them. His will is that you are saved and worship Him.

To be holy and set apart for His glory. To be filled continually with the Holy Spirit. To witness to others and to make disciples. That's His will. In other words, start here. This is how you get out of the pit of regret really quick.

Number one, His will is that you should be saved. The Bible says that God is not willing that any should perish, but all come to saving faith. Start there. So many people are dealing with regret. Even they come to church and they're dealing with tons of regret because they're not in right relationship with God.

They haven't repented. They aren't saved. So that's God's number one will for your life. I've talked to people, believe it or not, saying, I want to know what God's will is for my life. Should I go to this school?

Should I marry this person? I mean, no, I've never repented. I've never done all that weird stuff. And I really don't have a relationship with Him. But what is His will for my life? And I want to say it.

Get a big referee whistle out there. Say, stop. None of that matters. His primary will is that you are saved. That you are saved. You have a relationship with Him. And the next one is to worship Him. To be saved and to worship Him.

That's His will. So here's a big, big biggie. If you're not worshiping God, you're not in His will. And driving down the road, putting on a radio station, listening to worship is not worshiping. That's driving while listening to a good song.

Worshiping is taking time out of your day. And that's a great song. When I'm listening to Let It Rain sometimes, I'll say, rewind, rewind, rewind. People say, that's weird. That's emotionalism. No, I call it worship.

Because it takes the first 20 minutes to get all the junk out of my heart. It takes the first 20 minutes to get me positioned right again. To worry about, what's my phone? What's in the text email? And what's going on today?

And you have to take time and pull back and begin to worship God. That's how you determine what His will is. Because as you're worshiping God, His will becomes crystal clear. In many areas. Because you begin to pray like the Father would want you to pray.

To be holy. To be set apart for His glory. What's holiness? Well, we've talked about that how many times? It's you look like a Christian, not the world. That's the abridged version. Do we look like a Christian or do we look like the world?

And to be filled continually with the Holy Spirit. To witness to others and to make disciples. That is the will of God. This is where we start. So, if you're still reading Matthew 21, verse 32. So, here's where it gets interesting.

Jesus said, who did the will of the Father? Well, obviously, we know. But they said to Him, the first. And Jesus said to them, Assuredly, I say to you that tax collectors and harlots enter the kingdom of God before you.

For John came to you in the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him. But tax collectors and harlots believe in him. And when you saw it, you did not afterward repent and believe him. Now, we just read this and go, oh, that's interesting.

If you were 2 ,000 years ago and you heard this. Jesus is scolding the religious leaders of His day. These men, they're dressed in expensive robes. They're leading the temple worship. And Jesus says, harlots and tax collectors are getting into heaven before you.

You think that went over well? But He's telling them the truth. He says, you saw sinners going to John's baptism, John the Baptist, in the chilly Jordan River. They're repenting. They're being filled with the Spirit of God.

Well, the Spirit was given later. Let's just say they're repenting and being in right relationship with God. And God could have given him His Spirit. The difference between Old Testament and New Testament is Old Testament, God does pour out His Spirit on certain individuals.

In the New Testament, now the Comforter has come. Once you believe, you have all of the Holy Spirit. So these believers that were being baptized, they're followers of Christ, the religious leaders saw it.

And they saw these changes and they still didn't relent and actually repent. Even though they saw the good works of God. It reminded me that the super spiritual, the religious and the legalist are on the broad road to destruction because of their hypocrisy.

This is why Jesus says, well did Isaiah say of you, You draw nigh unto me with your lips, and honor me with your words, but your hearts are far from me, and in vain you worship me. I just thought about the church today.

How many people are in our churches that are super religious, legalistic, like these Pharisees. And they're worshiping the Lord in vain. What does vain worship mean? It means unsuccessful, to no avail.

There's no purpose. It's fruitless. There's no heart engagement. There's nothing there. The heart's not engaged. It's like singing that song, Let It Rain. Worship a heart that's not engaged is going to be bored.

They're going to be like, let it rain. Okay, what's for dinner? Man, we're past. Isn't Shane supposed to be up there already? I mean, this is running late. And there's no heart engagement. We're worshiping the Lord in vain.

And that's a place that we need to check our hearts often to make sure we are worshiping God. And you can look into a person's heart by how they treat others. You can see a person's heart. You show me how a person treats others, and I can show you their heart.

Think about it. They didn't want harlots and tax collectors and all these people at the church. They were better than them. I can't believe that one man who prayed, that one religious leader said, Jesus, I thank God that I'm not like this tax collector.

I'm so spiritual. And that's what they were. But this person, even today, they become indignant when the drunkard, the divorcee in the attic is sitting next to them in the pew. Shane, does that happen today?

Oh, you'd be very sad at what I can sometimes see in expressions and what we know. And people just, oh, who's that? Yeah, they're a church. See, your heart's not in a good spot. If you can't worship with sinners, your heart's not in a good spot.

So let's take the test we like to take twice a year. Are you known as a loving, joyful, peaceful, content, gentle, and kind person? Or are you rigid, arrogant, divisive, critical, and angry? Let me read the list again, or is that enough?

And that's when people say, I'm not sure. Ask your spouse. Ask your spouse or your kids. They will not lie. Out of the words of Babe is perfect praise, right? The kids will tell you the truth. And in all seriousness, though, it's important to take the test because are we known?

Are we filled with the Spirit? Of course we're going to get angry. Of course we're going to deal with arrogance. And of course we're going to have a critical spirit from time to time. But is the outflowing work of the Holy Spirit obvious?

Are we loving and kind and gracious and gentle? Because that's the filling of the Spirit. If none of that is ever present, you have to wonder, what am I filled with? What am I filled with if I don't have the fruit of the Spirit there?

And that's why you can look at a person's heart by how they treat others. Because eventually, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth is going to speak. And how you treat others speaks volumes as to where your heart is at.

Do you care for those who are addicted or divorced or the drunkard or the homeless person? How do you treat them? Could they sit next to you? That's a good test. Could the person sit next to you? Because that's what these religious leaders were doing.

And Jesus said, you hypocrites. They're going to enter heaven before you. I mean, it's amazing. It's absolutely amazing, this scene. So my encouragement would be to stop saying but, stop making excuses, and start surrendering to the work of the Spirit like the first man did.

The first man said, I will not. He regretted it. There's a conviction there, knowing he didn't do the right thing. And he went back and got into the will of the Father. That's very encouraging. That no matter where we're at right now, we can get back into the will of the Father.

The Path of Regret and Deliverance from Bondage

But let's talk about the path of regret for a minute. Psalm 107 .10. Those who sat in darkness and in the shadow of death, they were bound in affliction and iron, because they rebelled against the words of God and despised the counsel of the Most High.

Therefore he brought down their heart with labor. They fell down, and there was none to help. Whether you know it or not, that's what a person caught in regret feels like. And I know probably a lot of people in this audience maybe are saying, I'm not sure, I've never quite felt that low.

Well, that's good. But there's a lot of people who have been that low. They can feel the shadow of death. They can feel that, what the word of God says here. Their heart is heavy with labor. They fall down.

There's no one to help. They're in this pit of despair. But, verse 13, Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them out of their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death.

He broke their chains in pieces. Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for his goodness. And the Bible just doesn't put oh there, because it needed some space. That oh there is powerful. The psalmist is saying, oh, would you not look to God?

Oh, please. Oh, turn to him. And the men would give thanks to the Lord for his goodness and for his wonderful works to the children of men. For he has broken the gates of bronze and cut the bars of iron in two.

What's he talking about? He's talking about iron and bronze were the strongest things back then. And when God can just break those things into any chain, any addiction, any bondage. Like that song we used to sing a long time ago, break every chain.

God can break every chain. He can't if we turn to him. But that's what happens. That's a path of regret. That's a true portrayal of regret. Those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death. Those held captive by sin can relate.

Darkness and depression seem to overshadow everything. So, how does a person fall into regret? Because they rebelled against the word of God and despised the counsel of the Most High. Therefore, he brought down their heart with labor.

They fell down and there was none to help. Now, that's not a very popular verse, is it? If we take a survey right now, you're probably not in a happy mood. You're probably like, oh man, that's heavy. But the reason it's heavy is because it's true.

See, there's a consequence to our actions. And when we're dealing with regret many times, we have to look at this. Have I rebelled against God's commandment? The imagery here is of a person stumbling through life or locked in a prison where no one can help.

Their heart is heavy and burdened as a result of not doing God's will and obeying His truth. And I have no problem saying with that. I want to shout it from the rooftops. If you disobey God's will and His truth long enough, if you keep mocking God, basically God says, you want it, you got it.

There's something in the Bible called Romans 1 that says,. And they suppressed the truth with all ungodliness, and God gave them over to their debased and corrupted mind. See, that should be preached, that should be proclaimed, that should be on TBN every hour.

Those kind of messages, right? Turn to God, turn back to Him. Because so many people are going through regret because they rebelled against the Word of God. And instead of giving them the solution, we keep patting them on the back and saying, It's okay, buddy, no problem.

Just keep them pressing forward. And we don't give them the solution. The solution sometimes, all the time, is to cry out to God and say, God, deliver me. And He will often allow trials, burdens, and the pain of regret so that we look to Him.

He's the only one that can truly help us. Verse 13. Cry out to the Lord in your trouble and He will save you. Listen, that's a promise that will not fail. I want to just talk about that for a minute. When you cry out to God in genuine repentance, when you cry out to Him, that's a promise that will not fail.

When He says, cry out to Me, I will save you, I will deliver you, that will not fail. Listen, you might not rely on Social Security. I don't know who you're going to vote for, but they're not the answer.

The church will let you down. Your parents will let you down, but God will never let you down. Why? Because He cannot lie. When He puts truth into motion, that truth will continue. He cannot lie. Anything, whatever.

That's why I often say you can pass all these laws in favor of same-sex marriage, but it will not change God's mind. He put that truth into motion from the foundation of the world. You can't bypass it and discard it and remove it as if God will negotiate.

Once truth is set in motion, it's set in motion. You either conform to it, because it will not conform to you. God's Word doesn't conform. It doesn't change with the times. It remains solid and unyielding, and thank God for that, because that's something you can count on.

Now, we're in a culture now. You better raise your kids in a culture of relativism. Relativism says what's right for you might not be right for me, and what's true for you might not be true for me. And they go through life thinking, well, I'm not sure it's your truth, my truth, your truth.

No, you need to let them know that God's absolute truth is unyielding and will not bend. It's not flexible. It's like I said when I preached before. It's like a guiding light. It's like a lighthouse. It can't change.

Jesus said God's Word is truth, and when you set truth in motion, it can't move. It can't get out of the way. And here's how this works. Often, regret is the result of wandering from God, much like a ship that has drifted off course.

But as soon as the correct course is set, hope, peace, and joy return. Here's how it works. A person gets in regret, or they get into misery by disobeying God's Word, and they just feel like this weight of the world.

They feel this burden they can't get off, and once they turn their course around and get back on track, God often frees them of that. Now there's this joy and peace that returns. The joy of my salvation, David said that it would return, but it took him a year of running from God.

Nathan the prophet came in, rebuked David. He repents, and now that restoration process started. Now I'm not saying that all anxiety, all fear, all regret is the result of sin. I hope you realize that.

But I would say that the vast majority of regret that we deal with is because we've disobeyed God's Word. I mean, I look back at all the regret of my life. I never said, you know, I really regret obeying God's Word back then when I was 25.

That has not paid off for me. Never, ever. It's always the result of disobeying many times. And it kind of breaks my heart because that's a loving Father. We don't realize. I mean, you talk about second chances.

How about 150 chances? I mean, sometimes I go, God, how do you deal with us? How do you deal with us? Again and again and again. I mean, I should have been dead at 17. I should have been dead at 22. I've rolled trucks and vehicles and totaled them and not even know how I got home.

I've made tons of mistakes in my past. And I go, God, how? I don't understand this. But see, that's how you understand grace. Now grace makes sense. And I don't like when people just flippantly use that term, grace.

And they allow, they continue in sin and they just use the word grace and they actually mock God's grace. Because Paul explains in Romans that should we sin more because of God's grace? Certainly not.

The goodness of God should lead us to repentance. And when somebody truly understands God's grace, you see, that's interesting because people see, I get emails sometimes, oh, you're just moralistic or people have to follow all these rules and we're under grace now, brother.

I always say, yeah, but when you truly understand God's grace, you want to live for Him. I don't understand where you're coming from. It's not rules. It's I want to please the Father who saved me. How is that?

That's not rules. I want to live a holy life, a life set apart for Him. I want to worship Him because I want that relationship, not rules. And the closer you draw to God, the more different you're going to look in the world.

And they're going to say, rules. I say, no, relationship. Rules. No, relationship. Legalism. No, relationship. Legalism at its core is I'm going to do these things because I'm spiritual. I'm going to be right with God because I do all these things.