Wit's End — Lewis Gregory

Human Failure as the Beginning of Grace

Writing the letter to us about ourselves and it's really the letter that would say this to all who've tried and failed which of course includes how many all of us on numerous occasions too many to remember and most of which we don't want to remember.

All right. Let's pray Lord. I thank you that as we have tried and as we have failed it's not the end but it can be the beginning. Yes and Lord no matter how it's felt in the past or how we perceived you in the past I pray this day you would open our eyes to behold the wondrous truth from your word that you are a loving Heavenly Father and that you were for us and never ever against us.

And we praise you that as the resurrection of the life Lord Jesus you would now raise us up restore us renew us and make us whole in Jesus name amen. You know there's an account of a similar experience to what Dave has told us and it's found in Psalm 107.

In Psalm 107 the psalmist portrays the drama of trying and failing. But he does it by telling us a story about fishermen and about a time when they went out on the sea to fish and were overwhelmed because the storm was so severe.

So Psalm 107 in verse 23 says. They that go down to the sea in ships that do business in great waters. These see the works the Lord and his wonders in the deep for he commands and raises the stormy wind which lifts up the wave thereof.

They mount up to the heaven. They go down again to the depths. Their soul is melted because of trouble. They reel to and fro stagger like a drunken man and are at their wits end. They're at their wits end.

And being at your wits end is not a bad place but it's a good place. It's a necessary place. Now tragically we all too often too many times come to wits end but it doesn't end there. Unfortunately we just take another lap around Mount Sinai like the Israelites had to do.

They went seven times around and they never really got the message. So they kept trying harder. As Dave indicated the tendency is we we we come back. We beat ourselves up with what's called self-condemnation because you see the accuser of the brethren that old serpent the devil has come again to put us down.

And once he comes to put you down immediately the thought is oh I'm really am a bad person. I've got to do something about this. So we redouble our efforts. We try harder and we think we need to if we could just do more whatever more might mean to you.

And so we've all tried to do so many things so much harder so much better only again to what to try and fail. And so in the end we assume so often there's something wrong with me. And the final analysis we come to conclude well I must be a reject.

And so many times there are those of us who have actually kind of dropped out of the Christian scene because we've concluded God rejected me. I gave it my best shot. I couldn't do it. There's no sense going any farther.

I'll just forget it and I'll move on. Except we're still miserable. We're still empty still dissatisfied. And he says here their soul is melted because of trouble. Now there's two things I want to say about wits end.

The End of Self-Reliance

There is the wits end to end all. And that's the first wits end we've really got to come to. And there are the everyday wits end where we come to life situations and we just find ourself in a momentary impasse.

Both wits end ultimately come to the same conclusion. And that is why I am hopeless and why I am helpless. The Lord God enables me empowers me to do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So suddenly there is this realization of being at wits end really puts me in the right place for the Lord Jesus who lives in me to do what he came to do in the first place which was to live his life through me.

In other words just to be my life just to be himself and me. As Dave pointed out me trying to do for him was never the plan. The whole purpose and plan of the law for example was to give us a standard that showed us it's humanly impossible.

So don't beat yourself up because you've tried and failed. Except the fact that you're a failure at living life. Not a failure but a failure at living life. That's all because it was never a life that we were designed to live never ever not from the day one of the garden when they first fell that first time it was always about human flaw human weakness so that we then as the containers would contain the divine life of God in Christ.

And now we have the inner strength to enable us to go and do and be everything God intended us to be and enjoy it and enjoy it. You know he gave us all things freely to enjoy. But how many truly enjoy life we.

Life becomes a drudgery. Life becomes a duty. We find ourselves just kind of grinning and bearing it. This is not the life Christ died for. This is not the life he comes to live in us. No he calls it abundant for a reason.

It's a life that's full full of him. It's a life of meaning and purpose and joy and peace and all the other beautiful things that he himself is when he's free to be himself in us. So look at what he says in Psalm 107.

They reel to and fro and stagger like a drunken man. Now sad to report. But I have been that person before and it's a terrible place to be. I remember in the Navy I was going to be cool like all the others see I went the Navy when I was 17 but I only went active when I was 18.

I found myself with all these guys who really could quote hold their liquor and so they would go out. Well we got off the ship after a long cruise out in the ocean they nearly want to hit the bars and party time.

So I went out there with them. But I couldn't hold my liquor. So when I came back I could barely make it back to the ship. I'm like staggering around and had to have people help me. And when I got on the ship I fell down the stairs and the word I didn't get killed except of course the goodness and mercy of God had something more in store.

But you know I was staggering around because I had no sense of control about myself. I was out of control. And and what we have to come to grips with in life as we're dealing with everyday life situations and we keep hitting the wall and we keep failing and falling.

It's just accept the fact humanly speaking we are out of control. And every effort we do to try to get in control or to maintain control further reinforces the fact we're out of control. It looks good.

And some of us are very gifted at strong will and a lot of clear minds and discipline emotion. And we can keep it in for a long time but sooner or later somewhere somebody what the straw. That what. Yeah man.

And so we have horses that eat straw and I look at those horses and I'm thinking like what is that eat straw. But one straw just that one last bit of weight overloads our system and we blow it. We blow it.

But God doesn't blow us up because of that because you see as a loving heavenly father he's waiting for us to get to the place where we finally get. You know in a boxing match they tell the guy when you're finally beat up don't get up again.

You're just gonna get knocked down. Just stay down for the count and accept it. You're you're done for you've lost. And we all have to accept the fact that when it comes to living life we're losers. We just haven't done the job.

The best among us the most accomplished among us is still a failure. Living life. I mean studies have been done of some of the most wealthy successful prominent leaders in business and yet they that many of them in the end become so depressed they end up taking their own lives.

Because the success in the eyes of this world is no success at all if it's not done in Christ and by Christ and so otherwise it means nothing. It's just stuff. It's just one more thing. We've got one more notch on our belt one more achievement or accomplishment.

But it hasn't fulfilled us hasn't satisfied us can't gratify us certainly can't glorify God. You know there's a similar story to this in the gospel of Mark and I'm sure your minds go there. When you read this passage we just looked at from the gospel of Mark Jesus takes the disciples on a boat ride.

Jesus in the Storm and the Failure of Human Control

I love to get out on the water on a boat and so he took them on a boat ride because it's beautiful out there it's peaceful it's quiet but not this day. Now I want you to think about the fact that Jesus led the disciples into a storm.

We get all ruffled about the possibility that he might do something like that to us. But the storm is not to destroy us. Oh yeah it's going to tear the hide off of us. It's gonna it's gonna rip off of us that old fleshly dependency.

It's got to break the shell of the outer man. So the inner man of Christ in us can be liberated and come forth and be manifest as the source and strength of our life. But as long as we rely upon the arm of flesh it's not going to happen.

So they're out there on the sea and the storm comes up and they are all overwhelmed. Now these are experienced seamen and they know what to do. Just like that one old Psalm 107 account those men know what to do but they were at their wits end which means to say they had done all they knew to do done all they could do so no hope and no way out.

They were stuck. They were at the end of the end. And it's at that place the wits end to end all when they finally give up totally give up. And so we see the account here of how these men had to come to that place.

And you know notice they discover there in verse 38 mark 4. And where was Jesus. He was in the back of the ship asleep but he was in the boat. They had forgotten about him in the busy work of trying to do what they knew to do and think about this.

When they brought him on they took him and brought him on and they said no Lord you got to sit back here out of the way because we don't need you now. This is our thing man. We are experienced seamen we know how to handle a ship.

This is what we do for a living. We're pros professionals seamen. Or so they thought. You know it's interesting. When they came around to him they discovered a way to make Jesus is still here. He hasn't gone anywhere.

See it looks like he's gone. So when he feels far away it's not that he left you. If you've ever received him into you as they clearly pointed out you've been joined to him. You're in a union with Christ and that's an inseparable bond.

So he's in you. It's just we lose sight of him. We become oblivious to him or indifferent to him. Or we're so busy doing our thing that we neglect to realize his presence. But he's there available to us waiting on us to just give up so he can take over.

And so in that moment as the disciples are there they discover him. And and the beauty of the Lord is he never comes to put us down but always to pick us up. Putting down is the job of the old serpent the devil.

That's called condemnation. And again as I mentioned that's the work of the accuser of the brethren. To accuse means to find fault with you and put you down. But Jesus comes by his spirit to convince which simply means convince to say hey you are down.

Peter Walking on Water and Christ's Restoring Grace

Think about Peter when he was called to step out of the boat. Here they are. Then another storm and Peter is in the boat with the others and they're trying to keep body and soul together and survive because I think they're going to drown and die again.

And Jesus comes walking on the water all familiar with the story. We focus on the fact that Peter went under. Well the first thing I say about Peter's hey good for you. You walked on water. Anybody else here done that one.

Pretty rare to find somebody that's done that very rare. But he did walk on water. Now here's the beauty of really what happened there when he went down and went under. What did Jesus do that. He say ok forget it loser and leave he say well one more failure.

No hope with him on to someone bigger and better. No he didn't do that. And yet sometimes that's what we think. We think. That's how he feels toward us. We begin to feel like he's so far away that surely he couldn't care about us because we blow it so bad.

How could there be hope for us. But what did Jesus do. He reached down he picked him up he put him back together again got him out of that drowning condition. Didn't hold him under didn't put his hand on him and hold him under and say serves your right.

He just brought him up got him a hold and they ended up at their destination took him where he was supposed to be. How beautiful what a loving Heavenly Father we have. He never ever puts us down but always picks us up.

So understand that conviction simply means convinced to show us our need to make us aware that we have fallen we have failed. But he's here to pick us up and put us together again. And so these men were floundering.

And it says there in Psalm 107 that when when they cried out in the midst of their distress they cried to the Lord and he brought them out of their distress. To cry out to the Lord is not like Lord help me momentarily.

That's that's not a real cry of desperation. You see being at your wits end means you're desperate and you're not going to try anywhere else to do anything else. See when I was when I when I was after being Christian 10 years I finally came to wits end.

I thought I'd been there before because I'd been to other crisis situations and I would try and fail and I'd find some way to get through it. And then I'd move on and things look like they were better.

And I look like I really was getting it good. In fact I had so many attaboys that were always coming around patting me on the back saying how good I was doing. I thought man I really must be doing good.

And I'd look at the other people around and I looked better than them. And so I thought well gee this must be as good as it gets. And so I thought I'm okay. Until of course I looked at the true standard of Christ and saw what a beautiful life he had.

And I'd try to imitate him you know except there is no substitute for the real thing. No way no way. I love peanut butter. Imitation peanut butter will not get the job done. I love ketchup. You know in the Philippines they mix banana with their ketchup.

It sounds bad believe me. And it kind of tastes bad. Too sorry for my Philippine friends that might hear this message but it's just not the real thing. And mayonnaise the artificial mayonnaise. No way it's bad it tastes bad.

Once you've tasted the real thing you know the difference. And we tasted of Christ. And that's why there's something that stirs in us every time we try and fail that makes us more tenacious to try harder.

But really all we're wanting is to get back to that sweet taste of his life in us and the beautiful sense of the presence of a loving heavenly father. And yet it eludes us until these. It says that at the moment they cried out to him what happens at that point.

And what happened with me was after trying for so long and so hard and yet outwardly looking better but inwardly feeling worse. And it's like the more I read the word of God the more I became acutely aware that I was a failure at living life.

Finally after blowing it again and you know one of the ways that I would blow it is because I was a perfectionist. Obviously sounds like it doesn't it. And so as a perfectionist I would not only want the best for me but I want the best for my wife.

So the one I love the most I would often hurt the worst. Or I'd hold it in for a period of time. And then pretty soon I'd tell her what for you know this is not good enough that needs to be done better or you know something like that.

So I would dump my frustration that I had on myself on somebody else. They became my target because if I could you know if you can put somebody else down you just naturally feel bigger and better. You don't have to move an inch just find something wrong with everybody else around you.

And you rise to the top as the champion and you haven't done a thing except be the number one loser that doesn't have sense enough to admit it you know like I was until finally that day when in the midst of my frustration and having you know we had this crazy argument I don't even know over what.

Personal Surrender at the Wits' End

And so I stopped down the stairs we had this little bitty little teeny house and we had our mattress and box springs on the floor upstairs and I went downstairs to sleep on our new couch one of two pieces of new furniture that we owned.

But you know there's no substitute to sleeping next to your nice soft warm wife. And so I'm lying down there on this couch thinking hey wait a minute what have I just done. I'm the one that walked away from this beautiful person who actually was willing to marry me.

Can you believe it. No I couldn't believe it. And now I've just blown it and told her off and walked away downstairs to sleep on this cold couch by myself you know that's how I figure how stupid can I be.

And so then the next day when she was gone to work and I came home because I was going to college of the time I just crashed on the floor before the lord and for two and a half hours I laid there and had this long heart-to-heart talk with him except you know how it is unfortunately we spend most of the time talking and not nearly enough time listening.

So I talked and talked and talked to why I was talked out. And so I'm just lying there on the floor saying lord I can't do this anymore and I refuse to try anymore. I can't live this Christian life and I can't make you lord.

See there was a mindset in my era that about Jesus is lord but you got to make him lord. So I was trying to make him lord. But as I lay there that day on my face crying before the lord and saying lord I'm just tired of this I can't go on like this anymore.

And if you don't raise me up and if you don't restore me there's no hope for me. And then I finally got quiet. You know I'm just I'm I'm totally out I'm I'm like truly at my wits end I'm out of gas out of steam out of energy out of words out of everything.

And I was just lying there. And as I was lying there on the floor in the stillness of that room the still small voice and the thought came be still and know that I am psalm 40 16. Just be still and know I am lord.

Amen. And then the thought came you can't make me lord. That's who I am. Who are you to think. You can make me anything. We are the sheep of his pasture psalm 103. It's he that made us not we ourselves.

So I can't make him. And I can't make myself. But he can and has in Christ he's made me the best that I can be. And I've been trying to prove on god. And he's saying that won't work impossible. And so finally I really and truly at wits end ultimate end I give up.

I give up. And that's where he wants us to come to in the ultimate wits end. And then when we're at that place then when we come to these daily times of an impasse and a frustration and not knowing what to do we can just acknowledge him in all of our ways.

And he'll do what direct our pants. How easy is that. It is easy. The christian life is easy. It is absolutely easy. That's why jesus said my burden is easy and my load is light. He's saying hey it really is easy if you let me do it you just let him be himself in you.

The simplicity of the christian life is this. Allow christ to be himself for you. And he'll free you to be yourself in him. That's the beauty of life. It's called rest the rest into your soul. Yeah physically mentally emotionally you might still feel stuff going on around you.

But inwardly you'll be at perfect peace and inward joy so that you can rejoice in all things. And you can be content in every circumstance even if you don't like it don't understand it or even agree with it.

But just to rest in him will carry you through every single situation of your life. But you got to come to that ultimate wit's end. To the wit's end that ends all. Then you begin to live no longer striving to be like him no longer struggling to survive being more than a conqueror enjoying the victory.

That's already yours in christ. You know we sing that song i stand in awe of you. And it's a beautiful song. It goes back but it's got an anointing there's a a presence of god about that song. I went to indonesia and i ministered there.

Christ's Life Expressed Through a Weak Vessel

Then i went to the philippines but i ended up in africa. And while i was in africa there was a church there uh that there was a pastor named mamadou katabiri and mamadou had been a muslim who converted to christ and he had become a very prominent leader.

Well anyway he came to my home we had a long time to share and pray and he discovered that it was christ in him that was a source of strength. He had learned a lot of things about life and ministry and was very successful in his country had a thousand average attendance in his church.

But that following year after him discovering that it was christ in him and being one with christ as his life his church exploded. And by the time i got there there were now two thousand average attendance and the thing was packed over and they had outside lean to type things and people were sitting outside 500 on each side and i was in the service preparing before it began and the lord said i want you to sing a song.

And i was listening to some christian music on a cassette tape the old time stuff and i was listening to this song i stand in awe of you. And there was such a presence that began to minister to me through that song.

And the lord said i want you to sing a solo now i had never sung a solo ever. I had sung in choir a little bit when i was younger but never ever had. And the lord said i want you to sing this song. So you know it's like okay lord but i need to be sure.

So i said i'm going to preach and when you show me it's the right time i'm going to do it but you just you just tell me again i've heard you here but i gotta hear you there. So i brought the cassette in i gave it to the guy in charge of the music and i said now if i give you the sign you play the song.

So at the end i was going along and everything was looking good. And then suddenly i remembered i'm supposed to sing the solo and i said huh okay now that's a wit's end. It's not the end that ends all but it's a place of impasse.

I'm humanly not adapted singing and certainly not to a crowd of 2000. Lord said do it. So i gave the guy the sign he put on the tape and i began to sing and i stumbled broken way but as i sang the lord's presence came in such an awesome way upon that group of people.

And they had this large campus. They had out buildings with offices and classrooms and all kind of things. And there were some people. The office manager was working in the office and the lord came on him so strong he began to weep because he could just hear from a distance because the loudspeakers and he ended up coming in broken before the lord.

There were two women over there one of whom had had been blinded in one eye through an injury and suddenly she was healed. Nobody was talking about healing but she got healed. There was a young man walking down the street totally unconnected to the church but began to be drawn in as i was singing and came in and didn't even know what was going on.

Actually he thought maybe there was a soccer game they were watching or something because they had to have big screens going on both sides so they could see me. And when he got there and heard what was being done the lord just came upon him and he gave his life to christ.

Resting in Christ's Strength

Being at wit's end is always a good place because it just reminds you that your flesh is weak and so be it. But the lord is the strength of your life and you are strong in him. So just just rest just give up just let it go and let him be himself in you.

Let's pray together praise you lord. Lord lord lord great are you lord. And greatly to be praised lord. We have heard a glowing testimony from dave about how you met him at the point of his need and how lord in your goodness and mercy you didn't come to put him down but to pick him up.

And lord you're not here to just prop us up but you're here to put us back together and make us whole in spirit soul and body. And lord jesus our privilege is to just accept that we are mere humans flawed failed humans who have tried and failed and tried and failed and must accept the fact that we are all failures at living life.

There is only one who lives the christian life it is the christ life and only christ can live it. So lord jesus we can see that you and you alone can live this life. Fact you alone can live any kind of life.

There is no life apart from you that's for sure. And this christian life is impossible without you. But praise you lord jesus that when you come into us we are no longer without you nor are we anymore apart from you.

But now because we're one with you we can do all things through christ who strengthens us. Not wishful thinking but simple truth and reality. So lord jesus we take this moment to pause at whatever stage we're in to just acknowledge again that our spirit may be willing but our flesh is weak utterly powerless.

And we say i give up lord i give up and i refuse to try anymore. Lord jesus take me make me the person you want me to be. I give you my spirit my soul my body mind will emotions all i am all i have. Just take me lord and make me what you want me to be.

And i thank you lord jesus that you are in me and you're one with me. And therefore i am strong in you and in the power of your might. And i can do all things because you are the source of my strength.

Thank you lord for this day of life and joy in you in jesus. Name amen.