Dying to Self — Don Wilkerson

This message is one of the Times Square pulpit series. It was recorded in the sanctuary of Times Square Church in Manhattan, New York City. Other tapes are available by writing to World Challenge P .O. Box 260, Lyndale, TX 75771 or calling 214 -963 -8626.

None of these messages are copyrighted and you are welcome to make copies for free distribution to your friends.

Crossing the Jordan Into Spiritual Inheritance

Now the Lord said to Joshua, command the priest to carry the ark of the testimony that they come up from the Jordan. So Joshua commanded the priest saying come up from the Jordan and it came about when the priest who carried the ark of the covenant of the Lord had come up from the middle of Jordan and the soles of the priest's feet were lifted up to the dry ground that the waters of the Jordan returned to their place and went over all its banks as before.

Shall we pray? The Lord tonight I ask you that you would you would hide me behind your cross. Lord may your name be lifted up. May your word be lifted up tonight. Lord smite us with your word and then heal us, smite us and heal us Lord.

Let your word go forth tonight upon good soil. Let it accomplish that which you desire to accomplish in our hearts. Lord, thank you for your presence here tonight. Lord, there's nothing that we do when we start this service to deserve what takes place in our midst.

Lord, you come down sovereignly. You come down sovereignly. Lord, in your faithfulness you're here to meet us and thank you that once again tonight you have been in our midst and we felt the praises lift up to you and now Lord, we ask that the word would take root.

Lord, how we love the word. How we thank you for the word. Let it be a light unto our pathway tonight. Thank you, Jesus. Have your way in our hearts. Lord, move we pray in Jesus name. Amen. There is only one date in history more important than when the children of Israel crossed the Jordan River.

The other day was when heaven came down to earth as God incarnated in his son to make a conquest of a world bound in spiritual darkness. You see without the crossing of the Jordan the promise to Abraham could not have taken place because it was Bethlehem and Calvary and the upper room that took place on the other side of Jordan.

Crossing it was essential to the unfolding plan of redemption. Now as you know Israel had two water, two momentous water crossings. And some might contend that the Red Sea crossing was more important, but not so.

God did not bring Israel out of bondage just for the sake of escape. It was not only deliverance and freedom that God granted his people, it was also possession and fellowship with him in their very own land, which was his goal.

Deuteronomy 420 puts it this way, but the Lord has taken you and brought you out. He brought you out of the iron furnace of Egypt and then it says it's for this purpose to be a people for his own possession.

And oh how that blesses me tonight to know that I'm one of those people. I'm one of those people for which he has planned that I come out of Egypt in order to come in to my inheritance. For his all to be for his own possession.

And so the Red Sea and the Jordan represent two distinct aspects of Christian experience. The Red Sea is a type of going out, the Jordan of going in. In one case a life lay behind them to which they were never to return and in crossing the Jordan a life loomed before them towards which they were destined.

The sea was a way of escape, the river a way of entrance, and both crossings are an example of what Christ provides for us through the cross or at the cross. We are brought out in order to be brought in.

Now some people mistakenly believe, or it seems to be inferred or preached to them, that the goal of the Christian life is primarily escape. Well, it is this, thank God. What marvelous, wonderful deliverance there is at the cross.

But Christ did not only pay the price of our forgiveness, not only did he pay the price of our forgiveness of sin and our escape from judgment, but he destined us for precious fellowship with him to be his very own possession.

And so we have a present inheritance. If we claim it, if we want it, if we go after it. And this inheritance is ours by God's gift, just as salvation is. But the possession of it is only to the extent to which we lay claim and reach out for it.

It is this distinction that led Joshua to say to the children of Israel, after they had entered the land, and they had gone so far, and then they stopped, they rested. He had to speak to them in Joshua 13 .1, he said, There remaineth yet, there remaineth yet much land to be possessed.

And the question that we might ask tonight is, how far have you gone? And some I fear, and that which the Lord put on my heart tonight, that there are some here that you've reached a point, you've reached a point in your journey, you've reached a point in the going in of your inheritance, and you've stopped, you're in neutral tonight.

Or maybe you've given up the fight. But I want to say to you tonight, there is more land to be possessed. We are less than what God wants us to be if we fail to cross the Jordan, and come into the fullness of Christ, and live up to or within the strength of our promised inheritance.

You see, what is ours should become ours. What is possible should become actual. What is promised should be possessed. And what is potential should become actual. I don't want to live always in the promised state or always in the potential state.

I want to arrive. Now with this in mind, I want us to look at what took place before, during, and after the actual crossing of the Jordan. And I want to focus particularly tonight on the feet of the priests who were leading the people.

You see, if I were a filmmaker or a news reporter covering the Jordan River crossing, I'd have the camera zoom in frequently on the feet of the priest as well as the people. And there is a reason for this as we will see.

Faith Requires Feet in the Water

Now first of all, I have you note in the third chapter. Look now into the third chapter at verse 13. Verse 13, the priest were to go into the water feet first. And it came about as soon as the souls of the feet of the priest who carry the ark of the Lord, the Lord of all the earth, shall rest, their feet shall rest in the waters of the Jordan.

The waters of the Jordan shall be cut off. And the waters which are flowing down from above shall be in one heap. God built a supernatural dam. He said, I'm going to build a supernatural dam. But before that happened, you see, God did not make the crossing easy.

He required an act of faith and obedience first before there was any indication of the water parting. He said, when the souls of your feet shall rest in the water or waters. And now listen, the Jordan was no peaceful babbling brook.

It was at that time a swift flowing river with perilous currents. In fact, the river probably was a fearful sight. And the priest had to stand and rest their feet in the natural before the supernatural took place.

There was no miracle until there was obedience. God did not do his thing until they did his thing. It was wet feet before dry ground. You see, it's easy to step right in the middle of a miracle. It's easy to have faith when God does it all for us.

Without having us to act in faith on the evidence of things not seen. And you see, the reason some people never get through certain of their trials, they never move forward. Is because God does not part the waters for them.

He doesn't make it easy for them and so they give up. You know how we go up, you know how we dip into the water. Here's the way we do it. And I won't take my shoe off like Brother Dave likes to take his shoe off.

You notice that Bobby likes to take his shoe off all the time. But you know how we approach the Jordan. Here's the way we approach our spiritual journey. Here's the way we approach the Jordan. We put a big toe in it to see if anything happens.

And say, God if you part the way, then I'll know it's your will and I'll go across. You see, the Christian walk is the crossing of the Jordan. We're faced with spiritual Jordan crossings. There's an old chorus we used to sing.

Got any rivers? Got any rivers you think are uncrossable? Got any mountains you can't tunnel through? God specializes in things thought impossible. And he'll do for you what he'll do for anybody else.

But you gotta start somewhere. You gotta go in feet first. Now sometimes the Lord lowers a drawbridge. To enable us to have a bridge over troubled waters. But most often he requires of us what he required of the priest.

It's feet first. Not until our feet rest in the waters will the waters part. And do you know what that's called? It's simply called standing on the promises. Ye shall hear a word behind you saying this is the way.

Walk ye in it. It's simple obedience. You see the natural man or the carnal man or the man of unbelief says show it to me and I'll believe it. God says if thou canst believe thou shalt see the glory of God.

Who wouldn't go running across the Jordan if the way was opened up before them with no effort? That would be no act of courage. That would require no faith. But God requires faith and obedience first.

Actually obedience is evidence of faith. God requires feet first. Oswald Chambers says beware of the inclination to dictate to God what you want to happen to you before you obey him. Listen we all like to make deals with God.

We all like to make deals with God. Say God you do this and I'll do that. God says you do what I said and I'll do what I said. And it shall come about when the soles of the feet shall rest in the waters.

The waters shall be cut off. Now before the Lord also there's something else interesting here. Before the Lord asked Joshua and the people to cross over you know what they had to do? They had to lodge.

They had to lodge on what would be the east side of the Jordan. And look at it here in verse 1 and 2. Then Joshua rose up early in the morning. And it says in verse 1 they lodged there before they crossed.

It came about at the end of three days that the officers went through the midst of the camp. Three days. Now this was no three day retreat or camp meeting. It was three long days. 72 hours. 4 ,320 minutes.

Of waiting. Of doing nothing. Of inactivity. And staring in the face of the obstacle preventing them from going into the promised land. Now I can just hear some of the discussion going on during those three days.

When are we going? How are we going to get there? Why are we waiting? Let's get going. Let's build a raft. Let's build a boat. Let's go around. Let's do something. But for three days they had to lodge there.

You know the comments that we make. The things we say before the Lord opens the Jordan to us is very interesting sometimes. And very pitiful. The things that come out of our mouth during the times of testing and trial.

And while we're lodging before Jordan. God this doesn't make sense. This doesn't make sense. Bless God. You promised it. It's mine. And yet God has you right there. You remember when Thomas said. What Thomas said when the report came to him that Lazarus had died.

Thomas said oh let's go. Let's go with him. Let's go and see our friend Lazarus. See what happened. We'll probably get whatever he had. Thomas said let's go. We'll probably die with him. Whatever plagued him will probably plague us.

The sounds of defeat are some of the worst things that God's people ever utter. But consider the children of Israel. For three days they see the blue waters of the Jordan sparkle in the sunshine. The daylight.

And for three nights they go to sleep hearing the waters rushing by. And I believe that God purposely made them wait these three days. So that the Jordan River as an obstacle staring them in the face.

Could register into their psychic and into their mind. Because God was doing something. You see the Jordan is a type of death. It's a type of dying to self. The number three is also a type of death. And God purposely had them wait 4 ,320 hours.

In full view of this natural barrier. Preventing them from going on to enjoy their inheritance. To show them the impossibility of their situation. And they had to lay aside every scheme. Every man made idea.

Every fleshly plan. Every complaint. And had to come to a place of utter helplessness. This is the death that they had to die. And we must die. You see it's a place where God brings us. Where we lay aside every ambition.

Every carnal method of advancement. Every trust in human designs. And we put our feet into the water. And we stand by naked faith upon the Word of God. Believing that God will be true to His Word. Apostle Paul understood this death.

Listen to 2 Corinthians. First chapter it says,. For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia. That we were burdened excessively. Beyond our strength. The King James says, We were pressed out of measure.

So that we despaired even of life. Indeed. Indeed. And listen. Here's what Paul says. Indeed because of this situation. Because of our affliction. Because we were burdened excessively. We were beyond our strength.

We were pressed out of measure. We despaired even of life. Indeed. Why? We have the sentence of death within ourselves. The sentence of death within ourselves. That we should trust. Not trust in ourselves.

But God who raises the dead. Who delivered us from so great a peril of death. And will deliver us. He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us. Oh God loves to put us right by the Jordan River.

And let us stay right there. And we hear the rushing babbling brook. And we can't do anything about it. I remember when I first moved to the city. With my wife. We lived in an apartment in Brooklyn. In a high rise.

And I believe my wife was even expecting at the time. And I was having a hard time getting used to the noise and the sirens coming by all the time. And I remember I used to hear the police cars go by and their sirens.

And I'd hear the fire trucks come by. And I'd hear them coming in the distance. And they'd get louder and louder. And then they'd go by our apartment and they'd disappear. And I remember one night I heard the same sound and they got closer and closer.

And then the sound didn't disappear. And I thought well there must be around the neighborhood somewhere. And so I look out the window and they're down in the street below our high rise. And I thought well there must be a fire somewhere.

I went back to bed. Until I smelled smoke. I must have told this before. You're shaking your head yes. I smelled smoke. In the building. I went out and I looked into the hallway and it was filled with smoke.

So I went back and I got my wife and I said honey come on there's a fire in here. She said where are we going? I said we're gone there's a fire in here. And she didn't want to go. I don't know whether I took her hand or what but I'm starting out the door and finally a fireman appears at the door.

And he said can I help you? Or what are you doing? And I don't remember what I said but I remember thinking what do you mean what am I doing? I'm saving my wife. I'm going to cross the Jordan. And he said sir he said go back inside these are fire.

Dummy me I'm from Pennsylvania I don't know all this. He said sir these are fireproof doors all you have to do is go inside and shut the door and just stay there. Well I felt a little silly after that.

And my wife has never let me forget it every once in a while. When I talk about her getting lost all the time she talks about me going to take her through the fire. Whether it be going through the fire what you see we all we all think we have a way of escape.

And it's God's way with his people to so order his providence. As Paul said they are burdened excessively far beyond their ability to endure. Until they are brought to despair of deliverance by their own methods.

And this is when they discover death is stamped upon them. A death of reliance on fleshly means and measures. Paul said indeed indeed we have the sentence of death within us. Why? In order that we should not trust in ourselves but God.

Jesus said the same thing he said blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of God. You see as long as we are rich or think we're rich or possessed of anything in the way of pride or independence.

God cannot do anything for us. He cannot part the waters. Now secondly there was also a warning in this crossing and this is very interesting. There was a warning here about fast feet. They were warned not to have fast feet.

Following the Ark Rather Than Running Ahead

Let's look at it look at verse verses three and four. It says when you see the ark of the covenant of the Lord your God with the priest carrying it. Then you shall set out from your place and go after it.

However however there shall be a distance of about 2 ,000 cubits of measure. Do not come near it the ark that you may know the way by which you shall go for you have not passed this way before. Now there was a very simple but profound reason for this 2 ,000 cubic feet separation between the priest who carried the ark and the people.

On a practical level it was necessary so the people did not crowd all around the ark and prevent those following behind from being able to see it. God wanted the people to see that it was the ark which represented his presence and his power.

That it was the ark leading them on into their inheritance. And it was God's power that was the cause for the waters to be held up and to be parted so that they could go across it. Another reason for this 2 ,000 cubic rule was to demonstrate to the people that the ark was being taken care of by God.

The ark was able to protect itself. The ark, God doesn't need any defense. God doesn't need us to defend his ark. The ark didn't need to be guarded by the people rather it was a guard and a guide to them.

Also if they disobeyed this simple command and if they had had fast feet, if they had moved up on the ark too fast. It would have been a sign of irreverence and disrespect and a lack of sacredness for the ark.

They were to express their reverent regard for God's presence. Otherwise to come up too close to the ark would have been tantamount to an act of presumption. Now I bring that out to you for this reason.

The church today has a lot of fast footed people. Now I'll explain that in a minute but let me also preface by saying it's also true that some in the church are slow afoot. They're stuck in the mud spiritually speaking.

They don't make a move for God or towards God. We must never remain in the same place spiritually. God's people are a moving people. And I thank God for the hunger that I see and we've commented on this so many times.

Because I know what it is to minister to a people or to places where you preach your heart out and nobody moves, nobody moves. They defy you to move them you know. You've heard of body language. I want to tell you some of the body language I've seen in churches, well I won't get into that.

So God's people are to be a moving people. But the opposite is also true. We've got a bunch of fast footed Christians who get a glimpse of the ark. They get a hold of some truth. They experience some manifestation of the spirit.

And they're running with it so fast they demonstrate a disregard for the whole counsel of God. And for the teaching, other teachings. They grab a hold of something and run with it. How often I've seen people come into a church or a body.

They get saved. Or they move from one body to another body. And within weeks they're wanting some leadership role. They want to run before they've learned to crawl. They want to run before they've learned to walk.

And I've seen pastors guilty of putting people into spiritual, into these kind of positions. As soon as somebody moves along. As long as they've got a good rap. They've got a good testimony. As long as they have a good outward appearance or got personal charisma.

Without any discernment. They put them in positions and they want to put them in. They start putting them in spiritual Olympics before they've even run in the tryouts. And then there are the fast footed dancers in the church.

Now if you dance before the Lord, there's nothing wrong with that. As long as your walk is as good as your dance. But the dancers I'm referring to are those whose religion is primarily in their feet. Not in their heart.

And every time they go or come to church, it's to have a spiritual party. They want to get down or get into it or whatever. I don't know what it is. Whatever you call it. They want to get down and get into it more than they want the word to get into them.

And you see whenever true religion is absent from the heart, it goes to the feet. It becomes a ritual or a ceremony. Even if it's a lively charismatic ceremony. Listen to what Isaiah 3, 16, 17 says,. Moreover the Lord said,.

Because the daughters of Zion are proud,. And walk with heads held high,. And seductive eyes,. And go along with mincing steps,. Tinkle the bangles on their feet,. Therefore the Lord will afflict the scalp of the daughters of Zion with scabs,.

And the Lord will make their foreheads bare. The Lord said, I'll bring judgment on them. You've got nice feet. You've got nice steps. You've got nice dance steps. You've got nice joy steps. But you're not walking in my counsel.

I'll bring judgment upon you. And then there are the fast-footed Christians running after peace and prosperity. Now the newest thing is to go prophesy or to be prophesied over. There's big meetings now across the country of prophecies and teach you how to be a prophet, how to prophesy.

Proverbs 20, 21 says,. An inheritance gained hurriedly will not be a blessing in the end. But you know it's no wonder we have people running irreverently upon the ark. Even running around it. Trying to cross the Jordan to go into the promised land.

Leaving the ark behind them. Because shepherds or so-called prophets who excite people to go running after their inheritance without teaching the principle of keeping your eyes on the ark and following a safe distance from it.

So that it is always focal. Always the cross must be focal to all that we do in our Christian experience.

This is the end of side one. You may now turn the tape over to side two.

Rejecting False Prophets and Fast-Food Christianity

Jeremiah 23, 20 -23 says about these prophets. He said, I did not send them. I didn't send them but they run. I didn't send them but they run. I did not speak to them but they prophesied. If they had stood in my counsel then they would have announced my words to the people.

And I would have turned them back from their wicked ways and from the evil of their deeds. Jude describes those who are like the fast-footed shepherds of today. They run greedily after the heir of Balaam for reward.

Do you know what that means? It means that they tell people what people want to hear. To endear themselves to people for the reward that follows. Jeremiah 14, 14 says, Then the Lord said to me, The prophets are prophesying falsehood in my name.

I have neither sent them nor commanded them nor spoken to them. They are prophesying to you a false vision, divination, futility and the deception of their own minds. And tonight I say to you if you, especially you're a visitor here tonight or you, or whoever you are, don't go running after fast-talking, fast-footed, smooth-talking preaching and preachers and teaching.

And don't fret yourself because of those who seem to be running ahead of you as they run after this message or that doctrine. Or they run after dominion or they run after peace or run after prosperity or run after prophecy.

And listen, there is a place for prophecy in the church. But I'm talking about self-appointed prophets. Don't go running after them. You may feel like they're leaving you dragging in the dust. But don't run after them because Jeremiah said, I didn't speak to them.

These fast-footed saints following fast-footed preachers are chasing the wind. Their shepherds have overrun the ark. They've trampled the law of God. They've made a mockery of holiness. And they're going to soon run out of Holy Ghost breath.

It's simply a matter of time until the waters of the Jordan sweep across them. But I don't know about you, my friend. But I want to go into the promised land. Hallelujah. I was thinking something the other day.

You know what we have today? We have what I call Burger King and McDonald's Christianity. I wrote it down. I didn't want to miss it. I wanted to hear it for myself. This is the church where you drive in.

You place your order in the confession box. And order whatever you want. For example, you can get a BLT. That's Bless Me Today, Lord. Then you drive around. And within minutes, your confession appears in the box.

And you can just take it home to enjoy. That's called fast food. And if you live on junk food long enough, let me tell you something. Your spiritual immune system will break down. And you'll be susceptible to all kinds of diseases.

Stay away from fast food and fast-footed preachers. You know, there's one more thing. I've got to show you this. You can turn to it if you want. Or you can take the Word for it. Take my Word for it. Out of the Word.

But it's 1 Samuel. 1 Samuel chapter 8. It's a vivid contrast between the followers of the ark. And the followers of fast-footed shepherds. In the warning to Israel when they asked for a king to be their pastor.

And what happened is that God said, okay. They persist. They keep asking. And this is what God told Samuel. To tell the people when they persisted in their desire for an earthly king. This is 1 Samuel chapter 8 verse 9.

And now then, listen to their voices. Listen to them. God said, give my people what they want. Because they're rebelling against me. However, this will be the consequences. That you shall solemnly warn them and tell them.

Of the procedure of the king who will reign over them. And then he goes on and he said, this is what it's going to be like. When you sit under this kind of preaching. This will be the procedure of the king who will reign over you.

He will make your sons. Or excuse me, he will take your sons. And he will place them for himself in his chariots. And among his horsemen. And they will run before chariots. They'll run before chariots.

Do you know what it means to run before chariots? It means that you do whatever a man tells you. Rather than listen to God for yourself. Those who want to be like the world. And have earthly kings as prophets.

Who preach covetousness as a virtue. Rather than a vice. Who tell you what soothes the flesh. Rather than how to crucify the flesh. It says the followers of this message are pictured as running before chariots.

As servants. In servitude to that message. And I want to tell you, that's a sad, sad picture. Instead of Jesus being their king. They have exalted a man. They've come under a message. They go running before it in servitude.

To please, to please a man. What a contrast to this is in Joshua chapter 3. It says, when you see the ark of the covenant of the Lord your God. You shall set out from your place and go after it. And my question to you tonight is, what are you going after?

Is it the ark or are you running in front of some chariot? You see, not only do we have to separate ourselves from the world in the world. But we have to separate ourselves from the world in the church.

The spirit of the world that's in the church. 1 Peter 4, verse 4 says, in all this. They are surprised that you do not run with them in the same excess of dissipation. And they malign you. But they shall give an account of him who is ready to judge the living and the dead.

I'm going to stick with the ark, my friend. I'm not going to go running in front of some chariot somewhere. I'm going to stick with the ark. The ark's going to take us across the promised land. Now thirdly and finally, I want to talk about the necessity of firm feet.

Standing Firm in Faith and Christian Fellowship

Look at verse 17. Verse 17. It says, and the priest who carried the ark of the covenant of the Lord stood firm. On dry ground in the middle of the Jordan. While all of Israel crossed on dry ground. Until all the nations.

Excuse me. While all Israel crossed on dry ground. Until all the nations had finished crossing the Jordan. Now please follow me. This was no small task required of the priest. To stand firm on dry ground in the middle of the Jordan.

While all of Israel crossed. Now bear in mind that it was not the same priest who had to do it for the whole nation. Each tribe had its own priest. And so the priest of each tribe had to stand there while all their tribe passed over.

But still that was a lot of people. And this is a simple picture of faithfulness. And steadfastness. And completeness of obedience. It is a holding out unto the end. The Bible says he that endureth to the end the same shall be saved.

You see good soldiers stand firm. They don't have fast feet. They don't have shifting feet. They don't have feet that wander. They do what Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6 .13 when he says be on the alert.

Stand firm in the faith. Act like men be strong. Just imagine again the priest having to stand firm. In the midst of all that was a very frightening thing. While all the tribe passed until all the nation had finished crossing.

Philippians 4 .1 says therefore my beloved brethren. Whom I long to see my joy and crown. So stand firm in the Lord my beloved. Listen to me the church needs firm footed saints. Those who will be faithful in and with a body of believers.

The most healthy Christians are those who live out their faith within a local body of believers. And where they follow the priests and ministers who bear the ark of God. They are committed to Jesus first.

And then they're committed to their pastors. They're committed to their leaders. They're committed to one another in the body. My father was not only a pastor but he was a denominational leader. And one of his responsibilities was to find pastors.

Link pastors with churches. And I remember that my father there used to be certain pastors. Every two years they would change churches. And my father in fact I remember my dad saying it's about time for so and so to call.

He's going to be leaving his church. He's going to want me to find him another church. His two years are about up because he's a two year man. I remember my dad saying one time he said I think he has two years of sermons.

And he runs out of them and then he looks for another church. Ah but this is not only a problem sometimes in the pulpit. It's also a problem in the pew. The body of Christ is full of people with shallow commitments.

They go from place to place. Never settling down long enough to come under one message. And teaching long enough to grow up. Or just about the time the heat's on they wander somewhere else. Their feet wander off somewhere else.

Now this is not a pitch to get you to join this church. Not at all. Nor is it a reflection on you if you've left a church recently because there was air being preached. Some people of necessity have gone.

They have gone. They've had to go from church to church because all they found. They've told me all they found was junk food. It was a driving church. You drive in. You give your confession. You pick up the box at the other end.

And it's often a painful and difficult decision to sever fellowship with an unhealthy body. Especially if you've got family. You've got friends that are back in that church. I'm not referring to this tonight when I talk about hopping from church to church.

But standing firm is deeper than church membership. It means, however, following after truth, the ark. Then remaining firm until you've crossed over. Until God performs the death in you that he wants to perform.

So that he can bring out the life of Jesus Christ in you. There are some who never commit themselves long enough anywhere. They have fast feet. And never remain in a place long enough to develop the kind of relationships with the Lord and other people.

So that they can grow in the Lord. You see, there's no place in the body of Christ for freelancers and lone rangers. And secret saints. I don't believe that you can properly grow until you are not only in right relationship with Jesus.