The Centrality of the Home — Voddie Baucham

Welcome to the teaching ministry of Grace Family Baptist Church. GFBC's mission is proclaiming the supremacy of Christ to all men with a view of biblical conversion and Comprehensive discipleship. Thank you for visiting gracefamilybaptist .net.

It is good to be here with you this evening If I'd had an opportunity. It's ready to come. Be able to come and get right in line with the theme and do what I always try to do. Which is preach what I'm asked to preach.

But they didn't ask me to preach anything. They just asked me to come. So you get what I've been sitting on and what I've been living with. I Hope that's alright you just. If you'll allow me I see my former pastor. Dr John Morgan and his lovely wife sitting up here in the front row and you needed to know that one of the greatest periods of ministry in my life was the time that I spent as a teaching pastor at Sagemont Church in Houston and much of What I am today is because of my time there.

You know, there are two sides of my life that's this one side where cultural apologetics is what I live and breathe and teach and preach and. There's the other side where I'm Bridget's husband and Jasmine and Trey and Elijah's father.

And by the way, we have another baby who will be here any day now. And so God's God continues to be good to us. And there is a place where these two parts of my life merge. I want to share something with you tonight.

That has been sobering to me the place where these two things merge is here and I'm not real big on statistics but I just need to share a few things with you to paint a picture and I want to do the best that I can to let you know where these things come from.

Those of you who know me know that I'm it just pains me to ever have any notes when I preach. I just can't do it. I just can't have any notes. But I had to have some things here so I can tell you exactly where this information comes from where you can go and find it.

What is this? That we are losing a generation and we're losing that generation rapidly for instance. Depending on where you look we're losing somewhere between 75 and 88 percent of our young people by the end of their freshman year in college somewhere between 75 and 88 percent.

For that low number you can look at Glenn Schultz's work on Kingdom education for that high number the 2002 Southern Baptist Council on the family. So these are not things just just made up just grabbed out of the air.

That's what's been happening over the last few decades. We're losing somewhere between 75 and 88 percent of our young people by the end of their freshman year in college. There are a lot of you in here and you're upset about the whole emerging church movement.

You're upset about Brian McLaren and some of the theology that he's espousing. I don't like much of the theology that's coming out of the emerging church movement. But can I tell you what the impetus is behind the emerging church movement.

20-somethings are gone. The emerging church movement is saying what do we do to recapture? this age group. By the way, if you look around you'll see that we have a generation gap in the SBC. Amen lights there is a tremendous generation gap among Southern Baptists and it's time that we got honest about it and Part of it's because of what I'm telling you.

Hold on though. I'm not finished painting the picture. In our culture in America for the first time our birth rate is below replacement rate. Replacement rate is 2 .1 children per family. We're at 1 .9.

Now we're not as bad as much of the industrialized world for example in France. I think they're around 1 .5 children per family in Italy. There's somewhere around 1 .1 children per family now in case you don't understand what that means.

What that means is we're not having enough children for our culture to continue to survive. Our culture is dying one generation at a time. Now, let me put skin on that for you France. They have a rate a birth rate of about 1 .5.

However, there are North African Muslims and Arab Muslims who have immigrated into France and we saw some unrest because of those folks. Their birth rate is about six children per family. Which means in two generations France will be a Muslim nation by sheer numbers alone.

Why? Because they want prosperity more than they want children and it's the same for us. Now, let me put these two pieces of statistical information together at two children per family. Southern Baptists because we're no better than the rest of the culture on this.

Our attitude toward children is a boy for me and a girl for you and praise the Lord. We're finally through. Amen, it's an unwritten rule that you can only have two kids. However, there is one exception to the unwritten rule where you can have a third child.

And that is if your first two children were the same sex you get to try one more time for the other. That's the unwritten rule. We despise children in our culture. We despise children in the Southern Baptist Convention you don't believe me find a woman with six or seven kids and follow her into a Southern Baptist Church and Watch the way we mock her.

Watch the way people who don't even know her come up to her and say haven't you guys figured out how that happens yet? Now, let me put these two statistics together. We lose 75. Let's take the most optimistic number we're losing 75 by the end of their freshman year in college.

We average two children per family. That means it currently takes two Christian families in this generation to get one Christian into the next. Let me make it even more plain. There's 16 million Southern Baptists.

On paper by these numbers. Next generation four million. Third generation 1 million. Fourth generation 250 ,000 more than numbers now, aren't they? Oh, but that's okay. We'll just replenish those numbers through evangelism.

Interesting in order to replenish those numbers through evangelism alone. What we would have to do is reach three lost people for every one Christian. Currently, we only reach one lost person for every 43 Southern Baptists.

Now, let me make it plain and bring it home. Christianity in America is dying. One generation at a time one home at a time. Christianity is dying. Among the Jewish community the same thing is happening to scholars.

Anthony Gordon and Richard Horowitz have done a study on what's happening in the Jewish community and listen to what they say. The research targeted three key quantifiable elements of Jewish survival.

Intermarriage rates its believers marrying other believers instead of non-believers so that they lose the faith. Birth rates and levels of Jewish education. When all these factors are tabulated and correlated a troubling picture emerges of the future of American Jewry.

Skyrocketing intermarriage rates declining birth rates and inadequate Jewish education. Continue to decimate the American Jewish people. We're right behind them. There was a front page article in The Wall Street Journal just yesterday about Zoroastrians in India now.

What does Zoroastrians in India have to do with anything? I'll tell you here's what they were saying in the article front page article in The Wall Street Journal because of low birth rates and. Because people are getting married later and having fewer children than ever before.

The Zoroastrian religion is about to be wiped off the face of the planet. Simply because they're not having kids and retaining the kids that they have. You smelling what I'm stepping in. What has been our answer?

Here's been our answer. Our answer has been to divorce ourselves from the issue and hire youth pastors to make it better. If you can't say amen y 'all to say ouch. That's been our answer by the way, I would read in his book raising the bar makes this observation.

Over the last 30 years We have seen the largest increase in the number of professional youth ministers youth ministry degrees being handed out and parachurch organizations designed to reach youth and We have seen the greatest decline in youth baptisms ever.

The Home as God's Design for Evangelism and Discipleship

Let me make this statement and then I'll back it up while you open your Bibles to Ephesians chapter 6. Let me make this statement. Our current approach to youth ministry number one is unbiblical. Number two is antithetical to what the biblical model is for the evangelization and discipleship of young people.

And number three. It doesn't work. Let me recap number one. Our current approach is unbiblical. I'm gonna show you that Number two, our current approach is actually antithetical to the biblical model.

It's one thing for something to not be found in the scripture it's another thing for something to actually work against what is clearly found in the scripture. And Number three, which shouldn't be surprising at all.

It doesn't work or do I need to say it again? 75 to 88 percent is our current failure rate. Ephesians chapter 6 verses 1 through 4. I want to show you from this scripture the centrality of the home in the evangelism and discipleship of the next generation.

The centrality of the home in the evangelism and discipleship of the next generation. God has a plan for multi-generational faithfulness. That plan is the family. Unfortunately many of the things that we currently involve ourselves in actually work against God's plan of the family and.

So currently what we're doing is we're actually this is let me give you for example. When I say that what we're doing is unbiblical. Let me give you what we say is the goal of many of our youth ministries.

What we say is this the youth ministry at so-and-so Baptist Church exists to evangelize Teenagers to disciple them and to equip them to go and evangelize other teenagers. Two problems with that. Number one nine time out of ten.

We never mentioned parents and number two. Not your job. Whose job is it to evangelize my children the church? No, it's mine. Whose job is it to disciple my children the church? No, it's mine. Which means that at best any youth ministry that's going to exist at all had better have a mission statement that says we exist to equip and assist Parents as they do what God called them to do and not the church.

It's one thing for me to make that statement. But I don't want you to just take my word for it. Ephesians chapter 6 verses 1 through 4. They mess with me on my time. All right. Ephesians chapter 6 verses 1 through 4.

But trust me you needed to know all of that. Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right honor your father and your mother. Which is the first commandment of the promise that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.

Fathers do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. The centrality of the home in the evangelism and discipleship of the next generation. The centrality of the home.

Now, please note. There's a difference because what's happening now is people are looking at the data and a lot of our youth ministry Programs are now moving toward ministry youth and their families. And so we were saying the kids are ours and it's our job to evangelize them our job to disciple them and our job to Mobilize them now we say it's still our job, but we want parents to help us.

That's still the wrong answer. Well, brother, but you don't understand these families out there they're not doing it isn't that interesting for 30 years. Here's what we've been telling them. We're trained professionals.

Please don't try this at home. You don't understand your kids. Your kids don't like you trust me. Just drop them off now and Now we're mad because they're doing what we've taught them to do for 30 years.

I'm gonna get to this technique. Come on three things. Demonstrate the centrality of the home in this process of evangelizing and discipling the next generation first. The context of That first verse.

Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right now in order to understand the context of that verse. You got to back up to the paragraph before it you back up to the paragraph before it and you start with.

Husbands love your wives as Christ also love the church. But the problem with that is you get there. You got a backup paragraph before that one to see the context of this section. Wives be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord the problem with that.

Is that it is the beginning of the section, but it's got no verb. I Know what you're saying? You got verb right there be subject and that the verb it ought to be italicized in your Bible. The reason it's italicized is because it's borrowed from verse 21 in the Greek.

There's no verb there in verse 22. So it's borrowed from verse 21. Problem was starting with verse 21. If you start with verse 21 you start at the end of a paragraph and you can't do that. So in order to understand the context of Ephesians chapter 6 verse 1 you got to go all the way back to Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 15.

Trust me. We're going somewhere. When you back up to Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 15, here's what you get. You get three contrasts and then you get three commands and then you get three contexts. All right three Contrasts, let's look at them beginning verse 15.

Therefore be careful how you walk that is unwise men. But it's wise making the most of your time because the days are evil that's contrast number one contrast number two next verse. So then do not be foolish, but understand with all of the Lord is that's the second contrast.

Don't be foolish understand the Lord's will. Third contrast do not get drunk with wine for that is dissipation. But be filled with the Spirit. On the third contrast you get three commands. Those three commands are con are connected to the third contrast.

Spirit-Filled Living: Worship, Thankfulness, and Submission

Look at what he says beginning of verse 19. How do you know if somebody's living a spirit for life verse 19 speaking to one another with psalms hymns and spiritual songs. Singing and making melody in your hearts to the Lord.

If you show me a worshipful person, I'll show you a person who's more than likely being controlled by the Spirit of God. Show me a person who's not a worshipful person and I'll show you somebody who more than likely is not being controlled and it's not Yielding to the Spirit of God.

You don't. You can't tell me that somebody is spirit-filled and they're not worshipful. The two just don't go together. Fair enough. Look at the next verse. Here's the next command verse 20 always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God even the Father.

So you're a worshipful person. Secondly, you're prayerfully thankful. Prayerfully thankful show me somebody who's prayerfully thankful and I'll show you somebody who's probably being controlled by the Spirit of God.

Show me somebody who is neither prayerful nor. Thank you. Thank you. No thankful and I'll show you somebody who's not spirit-filled. Fair enough. Those were easy. Verse 21. Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.

Show me somebody Who submits to proper biblical authority in their life and I'll show you somebody who is spirit-filled. Show me somebody who does not submit to proper biblical authority in their life and I'll show you somebody who's not spirit-filled.

Now go to chapter 6 in verse 1 and look at it in context. Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. In other words three contrasts. Three commands. On the third command you get three contexts.

Context number one wives and husbands. Context number two children and parents. Context number three servants and masters. Here's what he's saying verse 1 show me a child Who is not submissive to their parents authority and I'll show you a child who's not yielded to the Spirit of God.

Which means if we want to lead children toward being spirit-filled, we don't lead them toward the youth pastor. We lead them toward mom and dad because the measure of their yielding to the Spirit of God is.

Whether or not when their parents say something they do what they're told when they're told and with a respectful attitude. That's what obedience is. So number one we see the centrality of the home in the context here.

He says you want to take the spiritual temperature of a young person. You take the spiritual temperature of a young person by whether or not they are submissive to the authority of their parents. That's the authority in their life.

That's the spiritual authority in their life. The spiritual authority in my child's life is me. The spiritual authority in your child's life is you which means anything that the church does. Had better not rob spiritual authority from mom and dad.

I don't write the mail. I just deliver it. Secondly look at the centrality in the home in his use of the fifth commandment. Look what he says there the next verse. Honor your father and mother. Which is the first commandment with a promise that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.

Now as Americans we're rugged individualists. So the first thing we want to do with this verse is we want to say that's talking to the individual child. Child you obey me. You'll have a long prosperous life.

No. No. Understand the significance of the fifth commandment. First of all, the fifth commandment is the first of the horizontal commandments. There's ten commandments first four vertical last six horizontal.

Number one on the hip parade of the horizontal commandments the man-to-man commandments. Number one is honor your father and your mother which means there is nothing that the church can teach a child.

That is more important than honoring their father and their mother. Now not only do we see it because of the position secondly, we see it because of a promise. That's the first one with a promise. Oh, that's huge.

Do you know what the first four commandments are? Commandment number one. I'm God. You don't get another one Lord. Can we get a promise with that one? I know promise. Just do it. Commandment number two.

Don't even make nothing that look like me. Okay, God, can we get a promise with that one? Uh-uh, just do it. Commandment number three don't even mess with my name. Okay, God, that's kind of serious right there.

You know, you gotta give us a promise on that one. Uh-uh commandment number four. Don't even mess with my day. Now, wait a minute now, you know, I want my boy to be a baseball player most of the teams.

You know here have to go and have to play on Sunday sometime and God, I'm sure you'll and don't mess with my day. Get a promise with that one Lord. No promise commandment number five. Honor your father and your mother.

And get a promise with that one. God you better believe you can on that one. I give you a promise. Do you see the importance of the fifth commandment? It's huge. It's order screams about its importance.

The fact that it's the first one with a promise screams of its importance now. Listen to this the first commandment was not the fifth commandment was not for the individual child. It was for the community of faith.

Deuteronomy and the Duty of Parents to Disciple Children

Here's what the fifth commandment is about. Remember we get him in Deuteronomy 5 and Deuteronomy chapter 6. What does he teach us? He teaches us how to disciple our children in our homes. He teaches us.

Listen Israel hero Israel the Lord our God the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart all your soul. Now your might these words which I'm commanding you today shall be on your hearts and you shall teach them diligently to your sons.

When you lie down when you rise up and when you walk along the way. Disciple your children. Can I give it to somebody else to do? No, it is your job as parents. Listen to me you're clapping. But almost every one of you has a youth ministry in your church that is operating unbiblically.

Don't clap if you're not going to change it and I'm not talking about including more parents in what we do. I'm talking about changing the entire paradigm. Why. Because here's the purpose of the fifth commandment.

God says you are my people but you're about to go into a pagan land where they worship pagan gods. If you want to continue to be my people, here's what you must do. Number one. You must have a boatload of kids.

That's what it means to multiply greatly by the way. When he sends them into the promised land. What does he say to them in Deuteronomy that they're to multiply greatly so that when he sends them into the promised land.

They won't disappear as God's people when he sends them into exile in Jeremiah 29. What does he say? Multiply greatly. You want to avoid disappearing in the midst of a pagan culture. Outbreed them and tell you something.

There's some of us in the room who need to repent. Because of our attitude toward children and because of what we've said to people. Communicating our attitude and not the biblical attitude toward children.

Some of us need to get on our faces before a holy God because we have mocked being fruitful. I've heard pastors from pulpit from the pulpit. Talk about their children like they despise the number of children that God has given them.

I heard a pastor from the pulpit talk about their third child being named mining. Yeah, eeny meeny and miny cuz we ain't having no more. That is a mockery before Almighty God. Children are a gift of the Lord.

The fruit of the womb is a reward. Our attitude from here. Is why a lot of people out there aren't having enough kids starts with us and It all goes back to prosperity. Poorest nations in the world see children as a blessing.

The richest nation in the world. We talk about children in terms of how many we can afford God help us. We're dying one generation at a time because we refuse to receive the gift that God wants to bring through the womb.

Our attitudes.

God says you want to continue to be my people you do two things. Number one you gladly receive these blessings that I give you call children and number two You disciple them in your homes. So that they don't look like the culture around them.

The minute you stop receiving the gift of God through the womb and. The minute you stop discipling them in your home. They begin to look like the culture and the community of God begins to vanish before your eyes.

To Christians in this generation. To Christian families in this generation. To get one generation into the next. I believe that's a plague on us. It's amazing. We always talk about how we want more souls in the kingdom if we were honest.

Here's what we'd say. We want more souls in the kingdom as long as we don't have to birth and raise them and feed them. Finally in case you don't understand what he said by the context of this passage and.

In case you don't understand what he said by him pointing to the fifth commandment. How about a plain black and white? Straightforward word verse 4. And fathers and fathers and fathers. Everybody's trying to figure out how to make men excited about church again.

Everybody's figuring out how do we challenge our men? How do we get our men involved? God's got an answer. Fathers do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Repentance, Church Ministry, and Biblical Leadership

Let me get clearer than that folks the context of this passage. Says the home is central in the evangelism and discipleship of the next generation. The fact that he points to the fifth commandment. Screams that the home is central in the evangelism and discipleship of the next generation.

And then in case we didn't get those two hints he says it in black and white fathers. Disciple your children. Fathers if we believe this. Then why is it that we've done everything in our power not to allow that to happen?

We don't expect that from our men. I hear you. We go back to this whole thing. I understand that but they're just not equipped. They just don't know. Here's what's interesting if the people in your church are not tithing you don't start a ministry to tithe for them.

Do you know? You simply teach them and expect them to do what the Bible says is their job if it works for tithing. Why don't we think it'll work for the discipleship of the next generation. So what do we do with this?

I'm not telling you all to go fire your youth pastors tomorrow. It's not what I'm saying here. But we have to completely revamp our philosophies and the last couple of minutes that I have left. Let me give you a few things that we must do.

Because currently all of our evangelistic efforts amount to no more than filling up a bucket with a hole in the bottom. We are we are not growing. I 16 million, we're not gonna go. I mean course that we won't go down to for me and in just one generation.

No, listen to me. Our churches will continue to be filled. But here's what we do know number one. We know because of Tom Rainer's research that was published in the spring edition of the Southern Baptist Theological Journal.

According to their research if their estimations are correct. Somewhere around half of all Southern Baptist members are Unregenerate by the way according to the Nehemiah Institute the Barner Research Group and the National Study of Youth and Religion less than 10 of Professing Christian teenagers operate from a biblical worldview.

Less than 5 Are theologically born again by that? I mean they say they're born again and they trust Christ as Savior and Lord of their life. But they're wrong on the deity of Christ. They're wrong on substitutionary atonement.

They're wrong on just about every important theological issue related to salvation. Only 5 of them Theologically have the information that they need to be saved. So our churches will continue to look big.

But the overwhelming majority of the people inside Will not be Christ followers. So what do we do? Number one I beseech you if you don't have a biblical view of children get on your face before Almighty God and repent.

And If you have been mocking children from your pulpit and if you like one pastor. One pastor that I talked to recently Said brother when you said that here's what I thought. The first thought that came to my mind was last week I talked to my people and I told him that we thought my wife was present was pregnant and When I said that I told him that after we found out that she wasn't I said We had a close call.

He said I need to go get on my face right now. Because I communicated to my people that children are a curse and a scourge and not a blessing. Do not make a mockery of children. You encourage people to welcome children into their homes.

You throw a banquet when that woman walks into your church with six or seven kids behind her you honor her and Let everybody see. You do it because if one woman like her we'd have no future. Secondly if you have a youth ministry in your church and You have a mission statement.

You line it up against what we looked at tonight in Scripture. And if it's wrong on its biblical and theological merit, you crumble it it up put it in the trash and start over. Because it will not change.

Until we change our entire Mentality about what it means to disciple the next generation as long as you think it's your idea or or it's your responsibility. As long as you think that our job in discipling the next generation means hiring some guy Who's 25 years old and got spiked hair and it's never raised the teenager himself.

Lord help us our entire mentality has to change. Thirdly, and this is the this is the toughest one to talk about. We have to adopt a biblical view of church leadership. I'll tell you something. There's two skills required of a pastor and only two skills.

There are a lot of character qualities that are required but only two skills. Number one, he must be able to teach number two. He must manage his household. Well, our churches are filled with biblically disqualified pastors.

Titus chapter 1 makes it clear if you do not have faithful children and if your children are accused of rebellion or dissipation you are Disqualified biblically and you hear that and I know we hear that and we go.

Oh brother. That's harsh. Nobody's perfect. Listen to me the same passage says. And here's what boggles my mind same passage same paragraph must not be addicted to wine. That says he must not be a drunkard.

He must not drink in excess. We say he can't drink at all. Listen to me. I'm not a drinker. I'm not promoting drinking. I've never had a drink. But this is what I want you to hear tonight. Not drinking is easy for me.

And it's easy for most of you because most of you never drink and you stick your chest out and pop your collar because you Don't drink it means nothing to you unless you've been an alcoholic. It is not hard for you to do.

Discipling your family is a different story and it amazes me that in the same paragraph We take one of those requirements and raise it and the other one and lower it. You want to know why our families are in turmoil.

Because most of you when you got hired at the church that you're at right now, they never even met your family. They heard you preach and voted on you when the Bible says if you're not discipling your children in an exemplary fashion.

You're not worthy of being called a pastor from the top down we are wrong on the family and We are losing the culture war. One family at a time and We have gotten so pathetic that now there's a euphemism in our culture called the PK.

Why do we use that term as a euphemism? Because pastors kids who live like they were raised by the devil has almost become the norm. If the church is a corporation That's completely acceptable. Because all you have to do is stand at the top of a machine and make sure that people go in one side of it And out the other and that there's more of them going through the machine next year than this year.

But if the church is a family of families and if God is serious about families being expected and equipped to disciple their children than the people who stand at the helm had better be exemplary husbands and exemplary fathers and Until we believe that We'll continue to lose the culture war.

One family at a time listen to this from Richard Baxter and the reformed pastor. If you are ungodly and teach not your families the fear of God Nor contradict the sins of the company you are in nor turn the stream of their vain talking nor deal with them plainly about their Salvation they will take it as if you preached to them that such things are needless and that they may boldly do.

So as well as you missed in the pulpit Fog in the pew We will never be able to tell our children. To raise and disciple a house full of warriors for Christ. If we don't begin to do it from the top, thank you.

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