I Am Crucified With Christ — Denny Kenaston

I want to give my testimony this morning as an opening. I came to the church this morning early just to pray for Brother Gerard, because he was up late and I knew that he was tired, and I told him that I would.

I came here this morning, but as soon as I began to pray, God put this burden on my heart so clearly this morning. So I want to obey the Lord and give my testimony this morning. The title of the message is my testimony, and the title of the message is, I am crucified with Christ.

Crucified With Christ: A Testimony of Paul's Reality

You know, I thought about that and I thought, my, that's a bold thing to say, to stand up in front of a bunch of people and say those words. Then the Lord quickly reminded me that that's what the Apostle Paul said.

He was bold enough to say it, and he made that statement in the Word of God. We know that. That's a phrase that everyone in this room knows. It's not a new phrase. And he was a man of like passions, just like me.

And Paul said, I am crucified with Christ. I don't believe that Paul was just giving theology there. I believe he was giving theology, but I believe he was also speaking reality. One only has to page through the epistles and read the things that the man went through while he was in this earthen vessel, and we can see so clearly that he was crucified with Christ.

God has been breaking me up for a few weeks, showing me myself, bringing me to a place of undone-ness. And the meetings began on Sunday, and it seems like God did begin to work Sunday morning in our midst.

I struggled in my heart with all the responsibilities and all the messages to prepare and all the praying that needed to be done. I thought, Lord, I don't want to say anything. I have so many needs in my own life.

I just want to sit there. Pass me not, O gentle Savior. Hear my humble cry. While on the others, Lord, You're calling. Please don't pass me by. And somehow I just had faith in God as the week was going by that somehow He's going to help me in the midst of all the things that I had to do this week as I was bringing my needs and my desires and sharing them with Brother Gerard one day and just getting real honest with him and telling him I'm so weary of rising up and taking off and all kinds of things getting in the way and burdens and responsibilities and all of this pulling me back down again.

And I just poured my heart out to him. And God was blessing my heart. And I was just enjoying the grace of God. And I told him, I said, Brother... And I just wept to him. I said, Brother, I want to live like this.

I want to live like this. I want to walk with God. I'm so weary of all of the other. I just want to live like this. Can I live like this, Brother Gerard? Can I be a man of prayer? Can I walk in the Spirit all the time?

Can I? And he began to share with me a small amount of the truths that he shared with the men here on Wednesday afternoon. How to be cleansed and filled with the Spirit. Because it was a busy week, he shared those things.

And I had to be off about my responsibilities. And I sat in this session and heard him share it in more detail to many of the men. And it was Wednesday and I had lots of work to do. And I just took it again and said, Ask me not, O gentle Savior.

Hear my humble cry. God, I'm trusting you somehow, someway. I want to run away. I want to go and hide. I want to get under that blanket that that man got under and I have all these things to do here. Please, Lord, someway, somehow.

The Old Man and the Power of Sin

So Friday morning my schedule changed. And my speaking was in the afternoon. So I stayed home. And I slept in a little because I was so tired. When I got up, I went out to that barn. Not sure what I'm going to do in that barn, Brother Gerard.

But I went out to that barn and I started going after these roads that Brother Gerard was talking about and that John Bunyan wrote about in his book, The Holy War. And as I started looking at roads and all the things in my own life, I said to the Lord, Lord, these are not roads.

They're roots. And the Lord said to me through his word, Denny, these are not roots. It's a man. It's a man. Then he took me to Romans chapter six, if you'll turn there with me. And he didn't speak all of these verses that I'm going to read to you to my heart because I was just out there in the barn.

I didn't have a Bible, but I memorized these verses. And I don't know how many times I read. But I know it's a lot of times in my Christian life. We're going to start reading in verse three. No, you're not, Denny.

No, you're not. It's a fact that so many of us, as we're baptized into Jesus Christ, we're baptized into his death. And I believe that's a spirit baptism that is being spoken of there. Therefore, because of this spirit baptism into his death, we are buried with him by baptism into death.

That like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. What a beautiful word to our hearts this morning, for if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection.

Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him. There's that man. It's not a road. It's not roots. It's a man. Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him. That the body of sin might be destroyed or rendered powerless.

Just sap the power right out of it. That henceforth, we, God's people, should not serve sin. For he that is dead is freed from sin. Truly, in reality, freed from sin. Now, if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him.

Knowing that Christ, being raised from the dead, dieth no more. Death hath no more dominion over him. For in that he died, he died unto sin once. But in that he liveth, he liveth unto God. Likewise, in the same manner, reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin.

Why? Because your old man is crucified with Christ. We believe on the Lord Jesus Christ to the saving of our repentance. And we turn to him. And we were born of the Spirit of God. We, by the Spirit, we were baptized into the death of Christ.

And we died in him. And we were raised in him. And the Lord gives the understanding what that means to your own heart. But verse 11, likewise, reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed, to be dead indeed unto sin, because your old man has been crucified with Christ, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Let not sin, therefore, reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lust thereof. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin, but yield yourselves unto God as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.

Who is this old man? Well, the Lord spoke to my heart. He said, Denny, that's you. That old man is Denny Keniston, a hippie, dogeon fella. He said, Denny, that's you. And before the Lord, God began to define to me the body of sin.

See, my body of sin is different than your body of sin. Because I live different than you live. And the patterns in my flesh are different than the ones that are in your flesh. Because we all came a different way.

God began to define to me my body of sin. He said, Denny Keniston is a hippie, and he's just a rebel, and he has a stubborn will. And by faith, and I had the witness of faith by God's Spirit in my heart, I took that stubborn will, and I took it to the cross, and I crucified it.

Now, I mean I did it by faith. I had the witness of God's Spirit in my heart, and the witness of His Word. This thing is already done. What am I living and hanging around for? And I took it to the cross, and I left it there by faith.

Repentance, Brokenness, and Reckoning the Old Life Dead

Some of you remember, a few of you brothers know, in our early morning prayer meetings, Brother Harold, right down here on my face, God was just dealing with me. And I didn't understand all that He was doing, but He was just breaking my heart, and He was showing me how ugly I was, and the pride of my heart.

And I prayed for years that He would let me see it deeply in my heart, and He was showing me what an ugly person I really was. The pride, the lust, my self-indulgent spirit, my jealous heart. Sometimes, even over the other ministers, Brother Moses and Brother Aaron, my jealous heart, even sometimes over my wife, my laziness.

He was showing me my cold-heartedness, how selfish I was, how many times I had failed, and I was supposed to be a minister of the gospel. And it was heart-wrenching, and some of the brothers know, I just couldn't hardly say anything, and I didn't understand what God was doing.

Well, out there in the barn, God brought all that back to me. He's so faithful, such a loving God, and I was getting a good old long look at this body of sin, to where my heart was crying, wretched, it's wretched.

And I found my heart just crying out and saying, Oh Lord, crucify it. Lord, please crucify it. I just, I don't want to live with that fellow anymore. And I was hating him. I was just hating him. And that morning in the barn, God's word said to my heart, Danny, I already have.

I already have, son. What are you waiting for? I already have. I've been waiting for you to see it, to see how ugly it was, to see what a mess it is, to see how utterly useless it is, to see how I don't need one ounce of it.

So one by one, you know, I was not ready to reckon it. So, it was already done, but I was not ready to reckon it so, or did not see it, or did not understand it. I don't know. But there in that barn, I saw it by the witness of the word.

Through His Spirit in my heart, I saw it. And one by one, by faith, a living faith, and with much delight, having been so sick of it all, I took every one of those little definitions of this ugly body of sin of mine, and I put it there in the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, and I put it there by faith.

And faith was alive in my heart when I did it. And I left it there. And I just thanked God for it. And I had no great feelings. But I just had a witness in my heart from the Lord. Denny, you're doing the right thing.

Keep on going. And then God reminded me, through the witness of His word again, by His Spirit. If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature. All things are passed away. Behold, Denny, all things are become new.

And He showed me that there's a new Denny Keniston that emerges out of that work on the cross. Yet it's not Denny Keniston. It's Christ. And you know, our heart goes to the words there in Galatians 2 .20.

And it's almost like Paul, you know, he wasn't sure. You know, he said, I'm crucified with Christ. Nevertheless, I live. I'm alive. Yet, not I, but Christ lives in me. And God just brought those verses to my heart.

Oh, glorious revelation. And I said, Lord, I see it. And I acknowledge it by faith. And I said, Lord, let him be renewed in knowledge after the image of Him that created him. Then God brought me to Romans chapter 12.

And we all know that verse real well. Romans chapter 12, verse 1. I beseech you, therefore, brethren, I beg you, I plead with you. Therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies, a living sacrifice unto God, a holy and acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

Surrender as a Living Sacrifice

And I said, OK, Lord, that's that's right. That's next. That's next. And with all that God had done in my heart already, I tell you, it wasn't hard at all to lay everything on the altar, to lay everything on the altar.

I just looked at it all. And I said, God, as a joyful love slave, I said, God, I don't care. Here it is. I give you my life. I give you my will. I yield my heart to your Father. I give you my plans. I give you my ministry.

I give you my reputation. Lord, I don't care. I don't care. I give you my wife. I give you my children. I give you my business. Lord, here it is. And I was standing right in the middle of it. And I gladly just gave it to him.

I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I give you my farm. And I was standing on it. I give you my money. I give you my rights. I give you my all. And like a bond slave, early this morning, I came over here to this door.

And I put my ear on this door. And I said, Lord, stick an awl through it. So I laid everything on the altar. And it wasn't hard at all. Because of the mercies of God, it wasn't hard at all. Is it hard this morning to give it all?

Filling With the Spirit by Faith

So then from there, God spoke to my heart again through the witness of his word. And he said, Denny, ask me. Ask me to fill you with my spirit. You've laid everything on the altar. And you have the witness in your heart that I have received everything.

Then he asked me to fill you with your spirit, with my spirit, my faith. And I fell on my knees there and I said, OK, God, would you fill me with your spirit? And I just cried out to God like a little boy coming to his heavenly father.

And I said, God, would you fill me with your spirit? And Father, thank you for doing it. And again, all I had was the witness of the word of God and the spirit of God that God did what he said in his word.

No feelings. No fireworks. And I'm not saying that maybe sometimes it is that way, but I just, I thank God this morning that there was none of that. Because I want my life to be established on the word of God and not on my feelings.

So I said, yes, Lord, and I did cry out to him and ask him to fill me with full assurance of faith. And I thank God for it. And I got up off my knees and I went into the house. And I thought, well, bless God, I don't feel anything, but that doesn't matter.

I went to Brother Gerard. He was home studying and I told him what I did. We prayed a few minutes and I left. I had responsibilities and that was it. All I had was a deep, settled peace and the witness of God's word that I did what I'm supposed to do.

Well, for two days, God showed me so clearly that all that happened in that barn happened because tests came my way. Tests that I faced many, many times and failed over and over and over and over again.

Tests in the relationship with my wife. Tests in relationship with my children. Tests in relationship with all the pressures of the ministry that come upon a man who is in responsibility. And God just carried me through one after another after another.

And please understand me, I didn't put all this together until this morning as I was seeking God's face and praying. I didn't put it all together and I realized how sweet and full and sure God had surely filled me with His Spirit.

So I want to testify this morning that I am crucified with Christ. Nevertheless, I live. Yet not I, but Christ liveth in me. For the life which I now live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me.

And my testimony this morning is that I am filled with the Spirit, which is just simply the normal Christian life and experience. You may say in your heart and your mind, Brother Denny, are you talking about sinless perfection?

No Condemnation and Walking in the Spirit

No. Turn to Romans chapter 8 and verse 1. You see, I believe this morning that there are needs in my life that I don't see. And I am trusting God by His grace that as He reveals them to me, I will take them the same place that I took those other things.

And I can leave them there. But in Romans chapter 8 and verse 1, which by the way follows chapter 7, verse 24 and 25, O wretched man that I am! Who? Who shall deliver me from the body of this death? And Paul was so clear here.

I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. Verse 1, There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.

You see, the law of sin and death is still here. But it's been mortified by the Spirit of the living God. It's been rendered powerless by the Spirit of the living God in faith to the principle of sin.

That law of sin and death, it is rendered, but it's rendered powerless by the Spirit of God. And there is now a law, and that is the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus. Having been crucified, and having been cleansed, and having been forgiven, and having sacrificed everything, and having been filled with the Spirit, now it is my responsibility to walk in the Spirit.

And I will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. And that's the testimony of the Word of God. And it's my responsibility before God to live in that. And if I choose not to, if I choose to allow my conscience to get dirty, and I'm no longer walking in the reality of the grace of God in my heart, in my life, no longer walking in the light as He is in the light, then the law of sin and death will begin to stir itself once again.

So you see, this morning I am a bond slave. But we need to understand what kind of a slave a bond slave is. I am bound by love. I am bound by grace. I am bound by God's Spirit. I am bound by the love of God.

And that's not hard, because that's all I want. It is all I want. Verse 3,. For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin condemned sin in the flesh.

Praise God! Why? That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. So you see, I am not talking about sinless perfection. I am just talking about victory and a walk with God.

Completeness in Christ and the Circumcision of the Heart

Turn with me to Colossians chapter 2. In Colossians chapter 2, reading from verse 8, Paul says these words, Beware, lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.

For in him that is in Christ dwelleth all the fullness of the Godhead bodily. And ye are complete in him which is the head of all principality and power. And God just so powerfully spoke these words to my heart this morning.

He said, Denny, ye are complete in him by the witness of the Word and the witness of faith in my heart. Verse 11, In whom also ye are circumcised with the circumcision made without hands in putting off the body of the sins of the flesh by the circumcision of Christ.

Now here I believe that God is saying the same thing in a little bit different way. In Romans chapter 6, He said you die. In Colossians chapter 2, He says there has been an operation that took place in your heart when you believed on the Lord Jesus Christ and were born again.

The Father, the Heavenly Surgeon, He took out His knife and He circumcised your heart. He cut out the old stony heart and He put in a new soft heart. And that's the circumcision of Christ. And my mind went to a conversation that Brother Moses and I had one day when we were away having meetings.

And often when we were dealing with people in the council room and we found them struggling so much in their life, we would bring them Colossians chapter 2 and tell them, you need to circumcise that heart.

You need to ask God to go in there and cut that thing out. And we were just stumbling along the best we could. But I remember a conversation that we had one evening after the service. And we were focusing in on these verses.

And we realized as we were sitting there, you know, this really isn't something that we're supposed to tell them to do. If they're a child of God, it's already done. And it is. It's already done. God just wants us to reckon it so.

Agree with Him. And not just a superficial little belief or a positive thinking about the Word of God. But I'm talking about at the same time, seeing what a mess you are. Come and by faith acknowledge.

The thing is all done. It's already been cut out. It's already been thrown away by the heavenly surgeon. In whom also ye are circumcised with the circumcision made without hands. Praise God. In the putting off of the body of the sins of the flesh by the circumcision of Christ.

Buried with Him in baptism wherein also ye are risen with Him through the faith of the operation of God who hath raised Him from the dead. And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, you hath be quickened together with Him, with Christ, having forgiven you all trespasses, blotting out the handwriting of the ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to the cross, and having spoiled principalities and powers, He, Christ, made a show of them openly, triumphing over them in it.

God was so clearly witnessing to my heart this morning as I was going through these verses and the witness of God's Word and His Spirit was alive to my heart. And I was just receiving them as I was reading them.

And the Word of God was abiding in me. It was just coming in and taking its abode in my heart. And it was alive and it was quick and it was powerful and it was strengthening and it was enlivening to my heart and my soul.

As I was walking and praying this morning, I struggled about sharing this. I began to faint. And just like that, God's Word came to my heart. The Spirit, Lord, I'm with you always. And the struggle just dwindled away.

By the Word of God, it just chased it right out the window. And faith rose up in my heart because the witness of God's Spirit was there. And faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the Word of God. You see, the Spirit is the Word.

And the Word is the Spirit. Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3 The Word is the Spirit and the Spirit is the Word. And they are one. And they bear witness together in our heart. And Jesus said, the words that I speak unto you, they are Spirit and they are life.

I mean they are alive. And they are Spirit. That's my testimony this morning. If I could speak to the congregation again, again, I'm very sorry for all my stomach. I'm very sorry that I have not been able to take you where God wanted you to go.

I'm very sorry. And I know that I said that just a couple of weeks ago, but I see my failures more clearly and more deeply. So I didn't know what else to do, but just do like I do with my wife and just come again and say, I really see, I see even more deeply, I even see more clearly how I have failed you as a minister of the gospel.

I see it and I'm sorry. I know that I have hurt some of you. Please forgive me. Concerning my theology, I want to beg your patience. I have a lot of studying that I want to do, but I just wanted to share what God is doing in my heart and maybe I didn't say it all right this morning.

Ezekiel's Promise of Cleansing and a New Heart

I'm very open for correction at a later time. In closing, I'd like us to turn to Ezekiel. Yet, Ezekiel chapter 36. This scripture is my profession out of my heart and my belief in my heart. For with the heart, man believeth unto righteousness and with the mouth, confession is made unto salvation.

These verses are my profession with my mouth of the belief of my heart this morning. Verse 24,. For I will take you from among the heathen. And oh, God surely did do that for me. He surely took this hippie from among the heathen and gather you out of all countries and will bring you into your own land.

Then will I sprinkle you with clean water upon you and ye shall be clean. And I rejoice this morning I am clean. I am clean. And ye shall be clean from all your filthiness. All of my filthiness, those struggles, they're gone from all your filthiness and from all your idols, all your other little loves, the idols of food, the idols of drink, the idols of a house, the idols of a business.

I will free you from all of your idols. From all of your idols will I cleanse you. That is my testimony this morning. A new heart also will I give you and a new spirit will I put within you. And I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh.

Hallelujah! And I will give you an heart of flesh and I will put my spirit within you and cause you to walk in my statutes and ye shall keep my judgments and do them. That's my testimony this morning.

And ye shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers. Ah, the land! The land of Canaan, the land of the spirit-filled life, the land of the abundant life, the land of God's abundant grace, the land of liberty, the sweet land of fruitfulness.

And ye shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers and ye shall be my people and I will be your God. This morning I am crucified with Christ. Nevertheless, I live. Yet, not I, but Christ liveth in me.

The life that I now live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the Son of God who gave himself for me, who loved me and gave himself for me. That is what God did for me this week. Shall we all kneel together in prayer?

Calling the Congregation to Crucify the Old Man

Do we need to seek the face of God this morning? Do we need to go to that barn? You can seek God right there on your knees. Just look at Him there. Look at that old man. You know Him. Nobody knows Him like you know Him.

Look at that fellow. Look at that lady. Remember Him sitting there, that old proud fellow sitting on the chair? You need to take that old man and put Him on the cross this morning by faith. You need to allow God to define Him because He is different for you than for me.

But you know who He is and you know what He is like. Let's just do that here on our knees. You know the roots in your life. You know the patterns in your life. You know those areas that you just keep going back to.

I tell you it's the old man. You need to crucify Him. And it's already done. We just need the reckoned soul and agree with God and be sick of Him. Just feel free to deal with God there on your knees. We've got plenty of time.

We don't have any program here this morning. Father, I pray for these dear people. O Lord, You are the giver of faith. You are the witnesser of the Word. O Father, I pray that You will minister to Your people.

O Lord Jesus, Chief Shepherd over the congregation, come and minister to the sheep this morning in a way that only You can do, dear God. Minister to these hearts, Lord, my brothers and sisters. Take that fellow to the cross this morning.

Be sick of him. Aren't you tired of dragging that body around? Take him to the cross. The Lord is present to make it real in your heart. But you must be willing. I'm not going to describe the fellow. You know who he is.

Just take him there. Father, we just delight to take this old man and put him in his place, rendered powerless by faith through grace. Father, we thank You that the old man is crucified with Christ this morning.

And O God, we also want to reckon, O God, on the other side of this whole matter. We are in Christ. We are a new creation, Lord. We are created in the image of Him who created us. Father, we thank You for the new man this morning, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.

And Lord, we put on the new man this morning. Father, we thank You for the provisions that have been bought and paid for already. And we put on the new man by faith, Lord. O glory! Thank You, Father and God.

We come this morning to the altar because of the mercies of God, because of this overwhelming salvation, God, that You've given to us, that Jesus bought and paid for. O God, forgive us. We have been living in poverty and we are rich.

O God, forgive us. We have not been glorifying You, Lord. We've been living in poverty and You're a mighty God. We've been living in poverty and You have us so great salvation. O God, forgive us. And Lord, by faith this morning, we put on the new man.

We rest in the resurrection of Jesus Christ. And O God, we testify before You through Your Word. I am crucified with Christ. Lord, it is so. Nevertheless, I live. Yet not I, but Christ liveth in me. Lord, this morning, the life which we now live, we live by the faith of the Son of God who loved us and gave Himself for us.

O Father, we come to that altar. Lord God, here we are. And there is an altar, dear God, and we want to make a sacrifice today. Lord, we've been going our own way, had our own plans. Lord, this morning we lay them on the altar.

First of all, Father, we give You our very life. It is no longer mine, for I am dead and my life is hid with Christ in God. Lord, we give You our life. It is Thine. As those that are alive from the dead, we give You our life, our new life.

What else can we do? Father, we give You our future. We do not know what the future holds, but we give it to You, Lord, all of it. Our goals, our plan, our ministry, Lord, we give it to You. O God, we don't want anything, Lord.

We just want You to go with us. Dear Father, we men, we give You our wives. Dear God, we've been trying to make them do this and make them do that, and O God, we've just been failing at it and it doesn't work.

Lord, we just give You our wives this morning. We give them to You, Father. And we wives, Lord, we give You our husbands. We've been trying to change them. We've been preaching to them. We've been fussing after them.

O God, and it hasn't worked, Lord. We give them to You this morning. They're Thine, Lord. We give You our children, Father, this morning. And as we are here on this point, You just name them before the Lord and picture them as You name them.

They are God's. They are not Yours. He only loaned them to us. Give them to God for whatever He wants. We'll wait in silence for a moment. Our business is before You this morning. O God, how they have taken our time.

Lord, we lay them on the altar. You do with them whatever You want, dear God. We give You our farms, our properties, our houses, our lands, our heritage. This nice little county we like to live in, God, we lay it on the altar this morning.

It is Thine, O Lord, it is Thine. Father, we give the rights of our life to You. The rights to be right. The right to have our own way. The right to have that place. God, we give You the rights of our life.

And Lord, we submit our hearts to You. If You want to make us a doormat, O Lord, we just delightfully receive that life. As a doormat Christian, we give You the rights of our life. We give You our money.

God, what we have, what is in the bank, Lord, is Yours. What we were going to buy, Lord, is Yours. What we were going to make this year, Lord, is Yours. We give it all to You, Father. Your bank account is filling up this morning, God.

There are new resources in the bank of heaven, Lord. And while we're here kneeling before God, that's as far as I know to go. But while you're there, allow the still small voice of God to deal with any other area that needs to go on that altar.