“ Our Biblical Worldview” (5) Marriage & Family 10/10/2021

First Baptist Church Leominster

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These are words, of course, to the Christian, promises to the Christian. If you're not a

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Christian, you're outside of Christ, you're on your own until you turn from sin and believe on Jesus as your

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Lord and Savior. And then these wonderful promises can be yours also.

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Let's be seated and Pastor Jason will come and read for us now 1 Thessalonians 5 and pray.

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Thank you. 1

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Thessalonians chapter five. Now concerning the times and the seasons, brothers, you have no need to have anything written to you.

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For you yourselves are fully aware that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night.

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While people are saying there is peace and security, then sudden destruction will come upon them as labor pains come upon a pregnant woman and they will not escape.

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But you are not in darkness, brothers, for that day to surprise you like a thief. For you are all children of light, children of the day.

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We are not of the night or of the darkness. So then let us not sleep as others do, but let us keep awake and be sober.

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For those who sleep, sleep at night and those who get drunk are drunk at night. But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, having put on the breastplate of faith and love and for a helmet, the hope of our salvation.

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For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep, we might live with him.

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Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up just as you were doing. We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the

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Lord and admonish you and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves.

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And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the faint -hearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.

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See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone.

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Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

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Do not quench the spirit, do not despise prophecies, but test everything, hold fast what is good, abstain from every form of evil.

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Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our

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Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful, he will surely do it.

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Brothers, pray for us. Greet all the brothers with a holy kiss. I put you under oath before the

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Lord to have this letter read to all the brothers. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

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Let's pray. Gracious Father, we thank you for these encouraging words.

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We thank you, Lord, that we are of the light, that we are of your light, and that we are to reflect your light to of the world.

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And we thank you, Lord, for this amazing privilege that we are your ambassadors. And we pray,

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Lord, that we would live this out in our lives, that we would seek to share the love of Christ, the truth of the word of God, that we would tell the world who you are and what you've done.

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We pray, Lord, that our walk would be consistent with our doctrine. Lord, we pray that we would understand your word, that we would understand who you are, that we would understand our great salvation.

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Help us, Lord, to think about these things. Help us to meditate upon them. For you,

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Lord, are faithful. And Lord, be with us now as we continue our worship through the preaching of the word.

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Help us to be alert. Help us to listen to the words. And we pray, Lord, that the spirit would teach us how to apply these things to our lives.

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Lord, we are very thankful to be here this morning. We're thankful to belong to you. Thank you, Lord. In Jesus' name, amen.

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Well, let's turn again back to Genesis 1 to the beginning.

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This is the fifth Lord's Day that we're giving attention to this biblical worldview. And we want to address the matter of marriage and family, which is critically important.

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Particularly for our own culture today. And so, in our consideration of God as our creator and its implications for a biblical worldview, it's essential that we give attention and careful consideration to the institution of the family that God established at the beginning of biblical history.

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For marriage and family are the foundation to a stable and blessed society.

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One once wrote, the Christian religion, by confining marriage to pairs, in other words, not polygamy, rendering the relationship indissoluble, that is one man, woman for life, has by these two things done more toward the peace, happiness, settlement, and civilization of the world than by any other part in this whole scheme of divine wisdom, attributed to Edmund Burke, a man living in England a couple centuries ago.

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And it was our 20th president, James Garfield, who was assassinated just after a few months in office, who said the sanctity of marriage and the family relation make the cornerstone of our

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American society and civilization. And if this is the case, and we would say it is,

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I would suggest that perhaps we're in serious trouble in today's world, today's culture.

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Now, we know that as we speak of marriage and family, it may not seem to apply directly to a number of us.

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After all, there are single folks among us who've never married, there are divorced people who have remarried, there are widows among us, but in reality, this subject does impact us all.

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Even if you say you're not married, it impacts us either directly or indirectly.

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Again, the wellbeing of our nation and its future is conditioned on this most important of human institutions, we would argue, for we know from the

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Bible and from history that a culture that rejects and abandons marriage and family as God ordained them will forfeit

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God's blessing and incur his curse. I saw an article this last week by Victor Hansen who showed the parallel between what he views as taking place in our culture and society and the downfall and decay of the

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Roman Empire. And there would seem to be a historic parallel, history tends to repeat itself.

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God spoke to his prophet Malachi that things would not go well for those who abandon his view of marriage as set forth in the word of God.

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Malachi, God through Malachi condemned the men for having married foreign women who worshiped foreign gods after these men had abandoned their wives, their

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Jewish wives from youth. And so here's Malachi 2, 10 through 16.

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Have we not all one father? Has not one God created us? Why do we deal treacherously with one another by profaning the covenant of the fathers?

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Judah has dealt treacherously and an abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem for Judah has profaned the

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Lord's holy institution which he loves. Talking about marriage here. He's married the daughter of a foreign

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God, talking about the nation in its entirety, but it was true of individuals. May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob, the man who does this, being awake and aware, yet who brings an offering to the

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Lord of hosts. They were religious, they thought they were devout and faithful to the

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Lord and yet they had abandoned this institution. And this is the second thing you do.

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You cover the altar of the Lord with teardrops with weeping and crying. They were sincere, it would seem. So he,

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God, does not regard the offering anymore nor receive it with the goodwill from your hands. Yet you say, for what reason?

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Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth with whom you have dealt treacherously.

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Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did he,

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God, not make them one having a remnant of the spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring.

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Therefore, take heed to your spirit. Let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. For the

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Lord God of Israel says that he hates divorce for it covers one's garment with violence, says the

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Lord of hosts. Therefore, take heed to your spirit that you do not deal treacherously.

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And so it's an important matter. And God, the creator, who has instituted marriage in the family guards that institution throughout history.

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And people's rise and fall, nations rise and fall, societies rise and fall when they abuse and forsake his institution.

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Well, as we consider this very important matter, we'll turn again to the first two chapters of Genesis to consider

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God's creation of marriage in the institution of the family. I don't think that we're gonna say anything that is not commonly understood and believed to be true by us all.

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I was really not looking forward to this subject because it is so commonly understood and believed.

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And then I got to thinking after I put it down, if I went out on the street corner and preach this, I'd have rocks thrown at me.

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And so, you know, I'm thankful that the people of God who understand these things, believe these things, and I hope we're reinforcing this matter by rehearsing them.

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And so I suspect that what we say about these matters would be perceived by most in our culture today as extremely narrow, bigoted, ignorant, and antiquated.

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And it's quite an incredible thing to consider that teaching and reinforcing the belief and practice that has grounded civilization for so long could now be perceived as antisocial and opposed to the common good.

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Nevertheless, we declare these things to be the abiding will of God. So here in Genesis 1 are the verses that speak to this.

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And although we've read these several times in the last few weeks, we do so now with a different emphasis.

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And so today we wanna consider these words of God regarding God's institution of marriage and the foundation of the family.

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And God said, let us make man in our image according to our likeness, let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, over the cattle, over all the earth, over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.

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So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them.

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Then God blessed them and God said to them, be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it, have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves on the earth.

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Now that's the concise abbreviated word. In the second chapter of Genesis, we read greater detail of the manner in which

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God created Eve as a gift and helper to Adam. Genesis 2 .18,

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and the Lord God said, it's not good that man should be alone, I will make him a helper comparable to him.

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Out of the ground, the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them.

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And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. Naming something like this would show your authority, your dominion over it, basically.

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So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.

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And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam and he slept and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place.

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And then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man, he made into a woman and he brought her to the man.

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And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh, she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.

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And therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they should become one flesh.

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And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Of course, it's before sin entered into God's good world.

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And so although the matter of marriage and family can be found throughout both Testaments of our Bible, let's give attention first to these contexts here in Genesis one and two, in which

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God created and institutionalized this most significant, really heart of human relations.

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This is foundational. So the Genesis record. First, we have

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God blessing and commission to Adam and Eve in verse 28. God blessed them,

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God said to them, be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it, have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, over every living thing that moves on the earth.

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First, God instructed Adam and Eve to establish a family. They would foster other families in order to fill the earth or populate the world.

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Instructed Adam and Eve and through them all mankind, not just them, but all mankind, be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth.

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Of course, this is repeated after Noah came forth from the ark regarding his sons and their wives as well.

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This is one of the primary purposes of God for mankind to increase population and occupy the world, fill the world.

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God formed marriage for the procreation of the human race. One of the main purposes of marriage.

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And God gave a command to Adam and Eve. He commissioned them to have offspring so that their offspring would also be fruitful.

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The mandate was essentially open -ended with regard to time. It does not seem that God was telling them they would ever achieve a full accomplishment of this command.

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This is an abiding decree of God in today's world. I reject the whole idea that the world somehow is overpopulated or even possibly could be.

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Lord will take care of that. We're to obey his command, his decree. God's command was not just for Adam and Eve, but for all humanity.

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Men and women are to marry, to bear children, to fill God's earth. Our Baptist confession of 1689,

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I think accurately, sets forth the biblical teaching. The major purpose in God creating the institution of marriage.

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Marriage was ordained for the mutual help of husband and wife for the increase of mankind with a legitimate issue.

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It's talking about legitimate children within the family and preventing uncleanness.

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That'd be sexual sin. Well, secondly, not only did

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God command Adam and Eve to fill the earth, but they were, secondly, to subdue the earth.

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They were to manage the earth. God intended mankind to fill his earth and subdue it on his behalf.

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They were to govern the world according to God's will, the one who had created and commissioned them.

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They were co -regents ruling the world on God's behalf. And this subduing the world involves managing the earth's resources, taming that which is wild, and subduing and improving that which is undeveloped.

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They were to have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.

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And so they were God's co -regents, rulers of this world. As one wrote, by the blessing of verse 28,

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God not only confers upon man the power to multiply and fill the earth as upon the beasts, in verse 22, but also gives him, mankind, dominion over the earth and every beast.

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Subjugating the creation also involves wise stewardship and conservation of resources, putting to use all that is available for the betterment of humanity and their families, and the fulfilling of God's commission.

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And so it doesn't speak or give license to an exploitation, destruction, destructive use of resources.

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I found this quote to be quite good, and I think probably speaks to our modern sensitivities.

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God's purpose in creating man was that he should rule over the animal world. Here, this injunction is repeated and defined more precisely, rule the fish of the sea, birds of the sky, and every living creature on earth.

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Because man is created in God's image, he is king over nature, he rules the world on God's behalf.

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This, of course, is no license for the unbridled exploitation and subjugation of nature.

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Ancient Oriental kings were expected to be devoted to the welfare of their subjects, especially the poorest and weakest members of society.

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By upholding divine principles of law and justice, rulers promoted peace and prosperity for all their subjects.

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Similarly, mankind is here commissioned to rule nature as a benevolent king, acting as God's representative over them, and therefore treating them in the same way as God who created them.

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And thus animals, though subject to man, are viewed as companions in chapter 2, 18 through 20.

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Noah, portrayed as uniquely righteous in Genesis 6, 9, is also the arch conservationist who built an ark to preserve all kinds of life from being destroyed in the flood.

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We're stewards of God's creation, to manage it, enjoy it, but use it also.

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And in fulfilling God's will, Adam and Eve would experience God's blessing more fully and continually in their marriage and in their family.

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Of course, the fall of Adam and Eve and to sin damaged the enjoyment and experience of marriage severely.

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And so what God intended to bring the greatest blessing and source of enjoyment and fulfillment to a man and woman could become the center of much grief and conflict, such as pastoral ministry, frankly, in many cases, keeps

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Pastor Jason busy. But the blessedness of the marriage relationship may still be experienced and enjoyed in spite of the fall, thankfully, if that marriage relationship is ordered according to the

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Lord's prescription and the husband and wife seek God's blessing. William Cooper, the

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English hymnist, once wrote, domestic happiness, thou only bliss of paradise that survived the fall.

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Marriage can indeed be fully blissful, having survived even the fall of man into sin.

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John Calvin wrote this regarding marriage after sin had entered the human condition. Now it has happened by our fault, man's sin, and by the corruption of nature that this happiness of marriage has in a great measure perished, or at least is mixed and infected with many inconveniences.

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Hence arises strifes, troubles, sorrows, dissensions, and a boundless sea of evils.

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Hence it follows that men are often disturbed by their wives, suffer through them many discouragements.

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Still, marriage was not capable of being far vitiated by the depravity of men that the blessing which

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God has once sanctioned by his word should be utterly abolished and extinguished. In other words, blessings available.

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Therefore, amidst many inconveniences of marriage, which are the fruits of degenerate nature, some residue of divine good remains, as in the fire apparently smothered with some spark still glitter.

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Marriage, of course, can be a wonderful institution fulfilling people's lives if ordered and organized and conducted according to the word of God.

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It has always amazed me when dealing with a difficult marriage situation to see the great hostility and even hatred manifesting one to another.

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When there was a time when they so loved one another that their desires to stand together and commit to one another before God to love and cherish one another until parted by death.

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What a contrast. Sin can result in the deterioration and destruction of what began as the best of relationships.

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Well, when we look over to Genesis chapter two, we have further details of God establishing Adam and Eve in marriage, and it reveals some more about the relationship between husband and wife.

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Here again is Genesis two, 18 through 25. It's a little longer passage. The Lord God said, it's not good that man should be alone.

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I will make him a helper comparable to him. Out of the ground, the Lord God formed every beast of the field, every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them.

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Whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, to every beast of the field, but for Adam, there was not found a helper comparable to him.

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The Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam. He slept, he took one of his ribs, closed up the flesh in its place, and the rib which the

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Lord God had taken from man, he made into a woman. He brought her to the man, and Adam said, this is now bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh.

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She should be called woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother, shall be joined to his wife.

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They shall become one flesh, quoted by the Lord Jesus himself. Later, and they were both naked, and the man and his wife, and they were not ashamed.

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This is before sin entered the world. God had pronounced everything that he created as having been good.

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Nevertheless, in having created man, Adam, God saw that he was yet incomplete. It's not good that man should be alone.

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And this is after all the animals were paraded before Adam, and he assigned names to them all. None of the animals served as a true companion for Adam.

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We read in verse 20, so Adam gave names to all the cattle, to the birds of the air, to every beast of the field. But for Adam, there was not found a helper comparable to him.

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The dog is not man's best friend. His wife is, or should be. So God determined to form

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Eve to be his helper. And she was also created on the sixth day, as we read in Genesis 127.

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We read of the manner in which God created Eve, caused Adam to go have a deep sleep, took a rib out of his side.

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You know, there's a common tale that men have one less rib than women. That certainly is not true.

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You can count them. A normal person has about 12, I think, ribs.

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Is that on each side? I don't remember. Once in a while, you have an abnormal 14, or even 16, but usually that's accompanied pain.

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But this initially, you know, she was formed from Adam's rib.

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Matthew Henry famously described God's intention and meaning for Eve to have been created from Adam's side.

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And I suspect this is one of the most frequently quoted comments on this passage that you'll find.

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That the woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam, not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.

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Beautiful expression, isn't it? We read that after God had taken a rib from Adam's side, he closed up his flesh, he brought

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Eve to Adam. Verse 22. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man, he made into a woman, and he brought her to the man.

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So having created Eve, we then read of God giving Eve to Adam, which we should understand as God having joined them in holy matrimony, the first marriage.

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God had joined them together, and once that was done, they or anyone else should never dissolve that union, as our

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Lord Jesus much later taught. What God has joined together, let not man separate.

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We don't have time to go into the justified reason for divorce and remarriage, but the

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Lord Jesus gave one, certainly. Adam was very grateful to God.

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He realized and confessed his union and unity with his wife, and so verse 22 records

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Adam saying, this now is bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh. She should be called woman because she was taken out of man.

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And so Adam understood and regarded Eve as one with him. They were one flesh.

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The two had in fact become as one. Before the fall of Adam and Eve into sin, this would have been a cooperative, harmonious, fulfilling, and satisfied relationship.

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No competition, no jealousy. Of course, with the entrance of sin, this relationship was damaged and the potential for disruptive conflict, independence, alienation is possible, even likely at times, and this is all too often the common experience within marriage.

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Verse 24 affirms the indissoluble union of husband and wife upon their marriage. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife.

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They shall become one flesh. This suggests generations. It's not just Adam and Eve, but Adam and Eve and their children also.

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And so here we see it was not only marriage having been instituted, but it was also the institution of the family as an independent unit of husband and wife with their children being implied for the husband and wife had become separated and become independent from their parents.

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Within this marriage relationship, there is closeness and support for one another. There is an emotional and physical relationship in which there is mutual support and enjoyment, which takes place free of guilt and shame, for God had instituted and blessed their union.

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And so in summary, we read in the book of Genesis that God created man to oversee his creation.

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God formed Adam from the dust of the earth, breathed life into him. God gave Adam dominion over the creation.

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He was to manage God's creation for God's glory and for his own good. And Adam was to be

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God's servant and overseeing and caring for all that God had made, were stewards. There was, however, a deficiency on the part of man.

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Although everything about Adam was good, it was not good that he was alone. He was in need of a helper to assist him in his responsibilities.

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She would be like him in many respects. She'd be taken from his own side. Eve was equally a person as was

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Adam, was equal in worth to Adam. She too was made in the image of God, but she was different from Adam in significant ways.

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Thankfully, we would say. She had been given certain qualities that would strengthen and encourage

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Adam in doing God's will. And I've often said, you know, women make good mothers.

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Men don't. Men don't make good mothers. We have different abilities, different gifts, different roles.

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Adam needed one who would stand beside him and strengthen him in ways where he was deficient. The two of them together would make a single team and they would be able to fulfill the responsibilities that God had entrusted to Adam, that Adam was unable to accomplish alone.

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Adam was to perform the responsibilities God had assigned to him, and Eve would assist him in this task.

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He needed her. He could not do all he was capable of doing apart from her assistance.

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Well, throughout history, the family comprised of father, mother, children has been the foundation and strength of societies.

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And this simple family unit, sometimes called the nuclear family, a fairly recent term going back to the, toward the beginning of the 20th century.

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And anywhere in the world, in any culture, the family unit has consisted of father, mother, unmarried children, and it's really only been in the last generation in which this historic and biblical model has been challenged and rejected by segments of our society, largely by our society at this point.

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Now, as we move on from Genesis one and two, and you look over the biblical record, one would be hard pressed to discover what we might consider to have been an ideal family that might serve as a model to emulate.

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Find a good marriage in the Old Testament reflected. Beginnings of it, perhaps, with Song of Solomon, but, you know, there's very,

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I don't know that there is an ideal marriage relationship. The families depicted through the

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Old Testament record are quite dysfunctional, to use a modern psychologized term. There's recorded much infidelity, polygamy, much injustice, dissension within family relationships.

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And so actually it's in the New Testament that we have set before us more clearly God's will regarding the marriage relationship.

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And Jesus himself indicated that, passing over the Old Testament record and going back in the beginning, it was not so,

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Jesus said. And so let's consider now the New Testament revelation regarding marriage and the family.

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Again, nothing new here, but I guess even this needs to be reinforced in today's world.

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The Lord Jesus addressed and corrected the common perception and practice of easily dissolving marriage relationship and divorce.

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And so the Sermon on the Mount, he introduced the subject by saying these words. Furthermore, it has been said, whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.

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But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery.

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And whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. And then the

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Lord repeated his teaching on a later occasion when some Pharisees challenged him. So Matthew 19, the

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Pharisees also came to Jesus, testing him, saying to him, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?

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They thought it. Actually, there were two schools of thought. One prominent rabbi said yes for any reason.

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Another rabbi said no, not for just any reason. And really, the Lord sided with this second rabbi in the traditional teaching.

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He answered, said to them, have you not read that he who made them at the beginning, see Genesis one and two, made them male, female.

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For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

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Jesus quoted Genesis, the Torah, as authoritative scripture, as the word of God.

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So then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate.

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It goes contrary to the will of God to do so. Well, they responded to him. Why then did

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Moses command to give a certificate of a divorce and to put her away? He said, Moses, because of the hardness of your heart permitted you to divorce your wife, but from the beginning, it was not so.

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And so we see in Genesis one and two, there's the standard, there's the will of God that we should aspire to.

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I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery, and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.

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So it's very restricted, or very narrow, not restricted, but very narrowly defined. The Apostle Paul wrote most clearly and fully regarding the permanence of the marriage relationship.

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The city of Corinth, Greece, was a notorious place, the sin city of the Roman Empire, and the

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Christian converts in this place needed thorough instruction regarding the nature of marriage before the Lord. And so the church had actually requested of Paul instruction about this matter.

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And so when he wrote 1 Corinthians, he included instruction, and this is what we have in 1

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Corinthians seven. Now, concerning the things of which you wrote to me, his letter was a response to them.

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It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

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Another purpose for marriage, to prevent uncleanness. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, likewise also the wife to her husband.

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The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

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Do not deprive one another, except with consent for a time that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer.

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Come together again, so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self -control. But then

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Paul qualifies himself. Just wanna throw in a few words of comment. All right, he didn't get this word directly from the

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Lord Jesus, but it's obviously the scriptures, the Holy Word. The Holy Spirit moved Paul to write this.

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But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment, for I wish that all men were like, even as myself, in other words, single.

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But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner, another in that. To be single throughout life is a gift of God, that has its advantages, some advantages.

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Although the celibate state is not the preferred state, contrary to the teaching of Roman Catholicism.

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It's the married state that's a blessed state. It takes a gift from God to be single.

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But I say to the unmarried and to the widows, it's good for them if they remain even as I am. Again, single.

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But if they cannot exercise self -control, let them marry, for it's better to marry than to burn with passion, he's talking about, being consumed with lust, sinful lust.

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Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord. Apparently he got this either directly from the

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Lord, speaking to him, or else he heard that this is what the Lord taught, say back in the Sermon on the Mount.

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A wife is not to depart from her husband, but even if she does depart, there may be cases when she does depart.

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Let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

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But to the rest, I, not the Lord, say, now again, this is the apostle's word, but he was an apostle, these are the words of God.

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God inspired Paul to write these words, we would say it's scripture, it's the word of God. If any brother has a wife who does not believe and she's willing to live with him, let him not divorce her.

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You should not divorce someone simply because he's not a believer and you are. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he's willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.

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Why? For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife. He's set apart in a way.

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He's blessed because his wife is a Christian. He won't encounter and experience the same kinds of difficulties in life because the

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Lord's concerned about sparing his wife. And so he takes it easy on the unbelieving husband.

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She's sanctified by the husband, otherwise her children would be unclaimed, but now they are holy. Children, too, of a believing parents are preserved and protected by God.

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That doesn't mean they're Christians. Again, as Rome falsely teaches, and we would argue against our

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Paedo -Baptist friends who baptize infants within reformed churches, this doesn't mean that they're

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Christian and they should baptize them. No, it means they're set apart, just like the unbelieving husband is set apart in a certain sense by God, so the children of a believing parent are set apart and God watches over them and preserves them.

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They don't suffer the consequences of their sin because it would really cause a lot of heartache and damage to that believing parent.

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They're preserved and protected. On the other hand, verse 15, Paul says, if the unbeliever departs, let him depart.

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A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases. In other words, you know, you shouldn't torment yourself if you're a believing wife and your unbelieving husband wants to leave you.

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You're not bound to feel guilty and defeated by this, let him go, it's okay.

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You're not bound, enslaved to this, for God has called us to peace. But how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband?

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It may happen, that's happened. A lot of us can attribute our salvation to the instrumentality of our

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Christian wives. Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? It may happen. And so the apostle recorded instruction that the

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Lord Jesus had directly communicated to him and perhaps others. But he also gave this informed and inspired apostolic instruction regarding the marriage relationship.

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Both sources of information are, of course, God's inspired and authoritative word. This entire passage sets forth the will of God respecting these matters.

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When I first arrived here in 1998, we had some people been in the church for decades, who didn't like this teaching about marriage.

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Well, that's what Paul said, that's not what Jesus said. Well, that didn't last very long. And so they were down the road, not because we wanted them to, but they wanted to.

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But it was in Paul's epistle to the church at Ephesus that he gave the clearest and most complete instruction of what a husband and wife relationship was to be like.

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The analogy that beautifully illustrated the matter was the love that Jesus Christ has for his bride, his church, and the manner that love is manifested.

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And so Paul gave this apostolic instruction. Again, we're all familiar with this,

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I hope. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. You obey the

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Lord, obey your husband. Now, that's not a popular sentiment in today's world, but this is what scriptures teach.

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Jesus submitted to his father. Was that in any way a diminishment of Jesus's character or dignity?

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Not in any way. It was a manifestation of his character to do so.

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And then Paul gives the reason, the explanation, the for is a conjunction, an explanatory conjunction.

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Why? Why should wives submit to their own husbands as to the Lord? For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is head of the church, and he's the savior of the body.

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See, the husband should be concerned and care. You know, the wife ought to be assured.

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My husband loves me. And even though he may be direct to me in this way, it must be for my betterment and my protection.

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I may not understand, I may not even agree with it. But the Lord is the savior of the body.

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And therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

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And so this, you know, wives aren't to be subject just to matters that they agree with their husband.

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But true submission is really shown is when you submit to something that you don't necessarily agree with.

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Now, we're not talking about when a husband gives direction for wives to violate, transgress the word of God, the law of God.

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Obviously, a wife is to decline at that point. But just simply over, you know, there has to be a leader and to direct the home.

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And God has entrusted that role to the husband. Husbands, love your wives.

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There's the instruction for them. In what way? Just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her.

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See, a husband, that's what he ought to live for. Not to have his wife as his servant, but for him to use all his ability and power and position to serve her.

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That's what Jesus does for his church now. He's not serving himself, he's serving you and me.

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And his church is, he gives himself holy for his bride. And that's what husbands ought to do.

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For her betterment, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, so that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

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So husbands ought to love their own wives, as their own bodies. He who loves his wife, loves himself.

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For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as the

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Lord does the church. For we're members of his body, his flesh, his bones. And so for this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother, be joined to his wife.

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The two should become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

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Nevertheless, each one of you in particular, so love his own wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

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Now he may not be very respectful, but he's got a position that God has conferred upon him and you should respect him for that sake.

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And then God gave similar instruction to the church at Colossae. Wives submit to your own husbands as fitting in the

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Lord. Husbands love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.

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That is a common experience of husbands. Children obey your parents in all things for this is well pleasing to the

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Lord. A child rebellious to the parents is rebellious to God.

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Fathers, on the other hand, do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged. And so what we have set before us in the word of God is the traditional nuclear family of the husband, father, wife, mother, and their children.

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The husband and wife are to be a lifelong enduring relationship with only ends in the death of the spouse, one of the spouses.

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The husband is the head of the home and that he leads his wife and children and they are to support and follow him.

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He's to have an exercise authority as Christ serves his bride, the church. He desires and lives for her security and support.

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He uses his authority to serve her and his children, leading and supporting them and knowing and doing the will of God.

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She in turn is to be his willing and compliant helper. She's to encourage her husband and assist him in achieving and accomplishing the raising of a godly heritage in their children.

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Husbands seem to be able to, men seem to be able to rise to the challenge when something confronts them and whatnot.

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And they're able to overcome adversity and difficulty and discouragement. But I tell you what, sometimes just a single word from a wife will cause more discouragement in him than anything else.

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Wife has a wonderful ability and capability of strengthening and helping her husband but boy she can tear him down quickly and easily with just a few words.

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Well now, let's just consider in closing here the cultural challenges to the biblical teaching regarding marriage and family.

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And first, let's talk about the challenges within Christian families themselves. Chief among Adam's responsibilities that God had given him was for him to love and care for Eve.

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Adam was to assure that she had the things which she needed. He was to be her loving provider and protector, lovingly leading her as they both sought to fulfill

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God's will. And she in turn was to use her abilities to assist Adam. The two existed in this blessed state for a time of unknown duration,

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Adam and Eve. There was a loving, cooperative relationship between the two of them. They worked side by side,

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Adam directing their work, Eve supporting him in whatever ways he was in need. But with their fall into sin, their ideal marriage relationship suffered.

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And due to the results of their defection from God, they departed from one another. Husband and wife relations have never been the same since.

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It takes work. It takes mercy and grace. And so due to sin, men tend to fail in their responsibilities to lovingly lead their wives and families, and wives fail to submit willingly to the leadership of their husbands.

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I went back, it was sermons 106, seven, and eight. Somehow it always comes up, my three -part series.

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And that had to have been back in 2000. Slacker husbands and bossy wives.

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And it was an exposition of the fall of man into sin. This is how it's manifested. Husbands don't fulfill their responsibilities, and wives tend to be bossy.

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You know, this is the nature of sin. Yeah, I wanna be led, but I want you to lead me the way I wanna go, or else there's resistance and whatnot.

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And so since and because of the fall, men tend to become slacker husbands, and wives tend toward becoming bossy wives.

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The fact is, the potential and danger exists for great tension within every marriage, and sadly, division often results.

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Even among Christians, this is the case. And so down through history, the relationship between a husband and wife has only functioned in a healthy, harmonious manner when

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God's word is followed, and each spouse submits to God and his design for their relationship.

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Each one focuses on his or her responsibility and seeks to fulfill it. And so at the heart of these differences between men and women is a common sin.

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All of us, whether male or female, struggle to a degree with temptations to reject authority, and some more than others.

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We wanna be our own gods. I don't wanna be told what to do. We do not naturally desire to serve one another.

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Rather, we want and expect others to serve us, and we get angry when it doesn't take place.

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We have this sin nature within us that leads us to reject authority. We don't want anyone, whether it's a parent, husband, pastor, or church, certainly not the government, to tell us what to do.

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Husbands do not want their responsibilities to impose upon their time, money, or energy. He perceives that everything and everyone seems to be working against him and his desires.

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I just want a little time for myself. I wanna do my will. Just as the ground was no longer cooperative with Adam after the fall, neither would his wife fully support him and cooperate with him.

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Everything runs contrary. He has the responsibility to be her authority, but her tendency is to resist and resent that authority.

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He has the responsibility to lead her, but her desire would be to control him. There would not be willing compliance, but rather an ever -present tendency for resistance.

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This is a very troubling and discouraging for husbands. Yes, again, she would desire to have her husband lead her, as long as it's in the manner she wants to be led and thinks she ought to be led.

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When he wants to go in a direction that differs from her, then tension and resistance may result, and a battle often ensues.

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For there is not a natural willingness on her part to comply. It's only when the husband and wife humble themselves and each embrace the roles that God has assigned to them, only then will they again or begin to experience the satisfaction and fulfillment that Christian marriage can give them.

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To have and enjoy a good and blessed marriage, husband and wife need to embrace and conform to the biblical model and each seek the grace of God to fulfill one's

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God -given responsibility first and foremost. And marriage is the most blessed of institutions that we can enjoy when we attempt to do the will of God from the heart.

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Well, that's just, that's in Christian marriages. Well, what about now the challenges of our godless culture that reject the traditional family?

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There are many that are arguing the nuclear family is a thing of the past. In fact, they're arguing now it never really has been the common experience in history.

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The ideal marriage and family relationships that have set forth and dominated Western culture for many centuries, it was actually in the 500s

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A .D. that laws respecting marriage and divorce and the care and welfare of children and families was established in the

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Roman Empire. It was a converted prostitute. Theodorus, I believe her name was, who married a

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Caesar who was a pagan, but she had so much influence over him that he actually instituted laws regarding marriage and divorce and legitimate children and the inheritance protecting the women through her influence.

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And those laws have essentially continued throughout Western civilization since the 500s until this generation.

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And now they've been overturned. And so for much of our present world, the family is set forth in the word of God no longer as the norm.

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It's viewed as repressive and unjust. The family's been effectively redefined in our culture.

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We reaffirm committed to the biblical definition and description of the family.

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And so although the world now recognize and celebrate same -sex marriage, adoption of children into homes of homosexuals, we must continue to advocate strongly for biblical teaching.

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We must do so. We'll attempt to do so lovingly and reasonably, but without compromise.

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We do not limit our rejection of sin, however, to what these forms mentioned. We declare that not only homosexual activity is sinful, but all heterosexual activity outside of biblical marriage is sinful.

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Not just homosexual activity, heterosexual activity outside of marriage.

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Sexual relations are only permitted and blessed of God within the marriage relationship. But again, this doesn't even include all marriages, but only those marriages that God regards as legitimate, as Jesus himself declared.

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Biblically sanctioned marriages, those he has joined together. Again, the Lord Jesus spoke to this,

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Mark 10, in the house. His disciples also asked him again about the same matter. So he said to them, whoever divorces his wife, marries another, commits adultery against her.

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And if a woman divorces her husband, marries another, she commits adultery. Premarital sexual relations are sinful in the sight of God.

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They are declared to be acts of fornication. Pornia, Greek word, broad word, including all manner of sexual sin.

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And the word of God declared, let marriage be held in honor among all and let the marriage bed be undefiled.

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For God will judge the sexually immoral, and there in the King James, fornicators and adulterers.

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Fornication would be perhaps sin outside of marriage, adultery, sin as a violation of marriage with another.

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And is this a problem in the United States and throughout the world? I read a statistic yesterday that today it's reported that only about 6 % of those who enter marriage are virgins.

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6%. But we also decry the quickly sought and easily obtained divorce settlements that take place both inside and outside of churches.

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Now, granted, the Lord saves many of his people who've come out of various backgrounds, who have been immoral in the past, perhaps even divorced, remarried in the past, when not having biblical warrant to have done so.

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This doesn't relegate you as second -class Christians in the kingdom of God, not at all.

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But they should be regarded or understood as say other sin that God has saved us from. When we learn from the word of God that perhaps what we've done in the past is contrary to his word, it were transgressions against his laws, and we are to humbly acknowledge that.

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I see now that what I did was not sanctioned by scripture. We acknowledge our failure probably to that spouse and to our failures before God.

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One of my closest friends ever now is with the Lord. And he was a

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California highway patrolman, 98 % divorce rate. He and his wife,

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Michael, named the same as David's wife, Michal, divorced.

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I tried to keep them together. And then Mickey started living with a young gal, half his age, and he justified it.

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He had other Baptist pastors telling him it was okay. And I alone told him, no, you're wrong.

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And it resulted in breaking off our friendship on his part for several years.

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And lo and behold, she's watching TV today. Of all people she listens to, oh, what's his name who was scandalized with the prostitutes down south,

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Jimmy Swaggart. She hears the gospel and gets converted. And then she becomes aware of the way she had done.

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She was raised in a Baptist church. And she and Mickey both came to repentance. They came over to the house one day, wanted to talk to me, and they both sat there.

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And Mickey says, I want you to know, you're the only one who told me what was true. And I rejected it.

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But if I had it to do over again, I would have stayed with my wife. And God bless,

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Gina sat there nodding her head. Yeah, that's true. And they went and had a wonderful and blessed marriage after that.

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But they had come to humble themselves and acknowledge that. But they brought great difficulty and tragedy to themselves through transgressing

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God's laws, respecting this. Yes, there's always forgiveness and restoration, thankfully, and fulfillment in ways that we cannot anticipate.

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But there must be a humble acknowledgement of what's true and right in the sight of God.

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And so we're not saying that because we have failed in the past, or certainly made poor judgments, and now we're existing in that relationship that somehow you forfeited

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God's best. No, God's best is before you. And your relationship, marriage relationship can be a blessed experience, blessed of God, by simply acknowledging error and wrongdoing and resolving from this moment on, we're gonna attempt to reinforce and stand for what's true and right.

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And by the way, I have generally found over the years that it's some of these people that have gone through these very difficult situations in the past who most strongly say amen when we emphasize these biblical qualifications and characteristics of biblical marriage, because they know from firsthand experience the consequences of departing from that.

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And they want truth to be, they don't want others to go through what they went through, and they want their children also to be spared.

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And so we should humbly acknowledge our failures before God, affirm our faith in the person and work of the

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Lord Jesus for having atoned for our sin, and then we attempt to adopt and practice that which is condoned in scripture in the future.

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But we must be willing to stand for principle and biblical precedent, regardless of the direction the world would have us go.

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We must have policies as a church that are clearly stated and support and defend the biblical traditional family, even as we recognize broken and troubled families that we're attempting to restore and support.

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But homosexual marriage and sex change therapy, we cannot condone. They're contrary to the will of God and to our convictions as the people of God.

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God created Adam and then Eve, a man and woman, he joined them in marriage, and there's no legitimate marriage before God, regardless of what the fallen world insists and demands that we recognize and regard.

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We cannot do that. But we do so lovingly, but with conviction and with certainty because we believe that the

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Lord's will is best for all people everywhere. And so may the

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Lord enable us to be true and faithful to him and to the generation in which he's called us to bear witness of him and his ways, amen?

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Let's pray. Thank you, Father, for your word, and we thank you, our God, for your clear instruction about these matters.

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And we just lament, our God, that in so many ways, perhaps we have parted in the past and have consequences as a result, but we just pray, our

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God, you'd help us to be wholly committed and resolved, Lord, to uphold this glorious institution of marriage and the family as set forth in scripture.

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And we pray, our God, that you would help us from this moment onward to order our relationships,

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Lord, according to the principles of your word. Be merciful and gracious and restore, our God, marriage relationships that are troubled and struggling and help us as a church, our

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God, to be a true and vital voice in the difficult days in which we are living.

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And we'll thank you and praise you as we glorify Christ in your word through this. We do pray in Jesus' name, amen.