Unity and Godliness at Home — Zac Poonen

We pray that you will help us to build godly homes, honor you and glorify you in everything we do. Let your Holy Spirit move over us at this time. We humbly ask in Jesus name, Amen. This is a family meeting.

Protecting Family Life from Spiritual Attack

We must remember that the devil wants to attack families to destroy the church. So that's why it's very important that we protect our family life, our husband wife relationship and our parent children relationship also.

So first my wife will speak and then I will share. All of us who have been in the church for a few years, especially we sisters, we have a great longing for having a godly home and every now and then we see a home which we admire and we say that's really a godly home and example to us.

But that does not come instantly. Most of us, we begin with a lot of struggle in our family life and when we go through the struggle, we should not think that that's going to be forever like that. We must say that those families which we admire now, they must have gone through a lot of struggle to reach where they are now and one day you also will reach that state.

God’s Work in Building a Godly Home

So we must hold on to that faith and today we were looking at Philippians chapter 2. I just want to share a verse from that very same chapter which often gave me hope when my children were small. That is verse 13.

God is at work within you, helping you to want to obey him and then helping you to do what he wants. We think that oh, God may not know how much I want a godly home. But even that desire is from God. So everything began from God.

He put that seed in our heart, a longing for a godly home. And he will water it and water it and strengthen it and one day there will be a godly home. And he will help us to do what he wants us to do.

How will he help us? Not by our own strength at all, but by the mighty power of the Holy Spirit. He will strengthen us to do what he wants us to do. So when we hear words in the church, wives to be submissive, and we see such a strong will which doesn't want to submit, then you can fill in this blank, Lord please create in me that will and give me the strength to do.

And that's what you want me to do, so you will give me the strength for that. So whatever our problem as wives and mothers which we face, maybe we get irritated with our children, or with our servant, with other people, take this promise.

God will give you the will and enable you to obey him. Maybe you are having difficult children, maybe you have difficult relatives, maybe you have problems with your parents, or brothers, sisters giving you trouble, and we may think nobody can understand my situation.

For every situation there is a blank promise, that is this one. God is at work. He is at work, that means he is presently, not worse or in the past years, but right now he is at work. But there is one small commandment also in this chapter.

In verse 14, everything you do, stay away from complaining and arguing and murmuring, so that no one can speak a word of blame against you. Then you have to live a clean, innocent life as children of God in a dark world full of people who are crooked and stubborn.

When God looks down on this earth, all he can see is darkness. But here and there, there are people, there are small lights, that is the children of his who are not grumbling and complaining. That means we can say, those who grumble and complain are living in darkness.

You know how close that grumbling and complaining spirit sticks to us. That much we are in darkness. But when we ask the Lord, we say, Lord even in that, give me that will and help me to get over and get rid of that grumbling.

Because you want me to live as a light in this world. So whatever problems we are facing, as wives and mothers, maybe we don't have enough time to even read the word. Cling on to one promise which God gives you.

I found like when I was in some time of difficulty or great pressure, God gave me one word from somewhere in his word. One small phrase or one sentence. And then I'll say, Lord you said like that, please give me the grace.

And make it happen in my life. Like that we'll grow to become women of faith. May God help us. Let's turn to Malachi chapter 2. The history of Israel in the Old Testament. It's many hundreds of pages all the way from Exodus to Malachi.

It is much bigger than the New Testament. So why has God put that for us to read when the Old Covenant is abolished? There must be a reason. It's not just to know what God did in the past. But that we can learn from the mistakes of people in the Old Testament.

So Malachi was the last of the prophets. And Israel made many mistakes in the Old Testament. And God would send his prophets again and again to warn them. And they would not listen to the prophets. And from that we can learn how Christians listen to prophets today and don't listen.

And don't obey. There were very few prophets in the Old Testament. There are very few prophets even today. If some Israelites were living in the time of Elisha or Elijah, they were really lucky. Or Jeremiah.

You see, I believe that Daniel was a young man when Jeremiah was an older prophet. And I'm almost certain that Daniel was influenced by Jeremiah's prophecy. Because we read about it in Daniel chapter 9 how Daniel studied Jeremiah's prophecy and that's how he started praying.

But they didn't listen to the prophets. Finally God sent the last prophet Malachi. See, a wise person will learn from the mistakes that other people make. And say, let me learn from that so I don't make the same mistake.

Most people make mistakes themselves and learn. A foolish man makes mistakes and does not even learn from that. Three types of people. One foolish man, he makes a mistake, does not learn. Then we have an ordinary man who makes a mistake and learns.

The wise man learns from other people's mistakes so he doesn't make a mistake. So he makes very few mistakes because he tries his best to learn from the mistakes of others. I'll give you an example. Everybody knows about David's sin.

Learning from David’s Fall into Adultery

We are living in a time when there are tremendous spirits of adultery all over the world. So we can learn something from David, how he fell. David was a married man. He was 52 years old when he fell. So don't think because you are married you won't fall.

I crossed 50 years of age, now I won't fall. Learn from the mistakes of others. Learn from the mistakes of others. 2 Samuel 11. 2 Samuel 11 .1. 2 Samuel 11 .3. In the olden days, David would himself go to the battle because the kings used to lead the battle in those days.

But now, he was a senior man, he had been king for 22 years. So he said, I don't have to go now, I'll send the others. One small decision, it ruined his life. If he had gone to battle, he would never have fallen.

That happens to many people. When you were young, you would spend time in prayer. That is the battle nowadays. But now you feel, I have become a senior brother or senior sister, I don't need to pray now.

That is all in the old days. You are the one who is going to be in danger. If you think you can stand, be careful that you don't fall. And all of you, I want to warn you in Jesus' name. One mistake, you have ruined your whole life.

And you ruined your name, so that your children have to carry your shame. We are kings and priests in Christ. So when kings go to battle, don't go to sleep saying you are a senior king. If you go to battle, you will be protected.

The second thing, verse 2. When evening came, David arose from his bed. People are fighting a battle, this guy is sleeping. Sleeping at night is okay. But when you are very lazy, you sleep in the afternoon also.

And then you get up. It's all a lifestyle of laziness. He was a king, he had plenty to eat. No discipline in his life, in eating or sleeping or anything. And when you become so rich, that you don't have to discipline yourself in your eating or sleeping.

You will have problem in the sexual area also. And we read that he decided, at least when you get up from bed, have a short prayer before you get up. It's like a person wrote this little line, like a prayer.

Lord, till this moment today, I have not sinned. I have not gossiped today. I have not thought any bad thoughts today. I never got angry today. I kept myself pure right up till now. But now Lord, it's 6 o 'clock in the morning and I am getting up.

Now I need some help. Till now I was alright. Because he was sleeping. He never sinned. For the last 8 hours, I never sinned. Isn't that wonderful, not to sin for 8 hours in thought or word or deed or anything.

Isn't that wonderful, not to sin for 8 hours in thought or word or deed or anything. Lord, I am getting up now. I really need help from this moment. You must remember that. And so he went around walking on the roof of the house.

He wasn't looking for anything. He just accidentally saw a woman taking a bath there. What should he have done? He should have said, I am not going to look at that. That's somebody else's wife there taking a bath.

Why should I look at it? He should have turned and gone back to his room. But he kept on looking. And when you keep on looking, you will begin to lust. Especially as it says here in verse 2, because the woman was very beautiful.

And then it went from one sin to another sin, finally ended in murder. In Malachi, we read in chapter 2, David was a married man. He had no business looking at somebody else's wife. He had no business looking at any other girl.

And he was in the old covenant. These things are written as a warning for us. As I told you, there are about 700 pages of Israel's history in my bible. And the new testament is only about 200 pages. So, more than three times the history of the old testament.

What for? To warn us about things like this which I am saying now. There are many other warnings like this. Even from the failures of Moses, Elijah, mistakes of many of the great men in the old testament.

Abraham, Isaac, Jacob. But here we read in Malachi 2, verse 14. First of all, in verse 13 it says, you cover the altar of the Lord with weeping and groaning, but he doesn't regard your offering or accept it with favor from your hand.

You cover the altar of the Lord with weeping and groaning, but he doesn't regard your offering or accept it with favor from your hand. I don't know whether you understand this or not. If there is something terrible happening to you, God should not listen to your prayers.

I don't know how many of you feel like that. Some of you may feel, alright, it doesn't matter if God doesn't listen to my prayers, I carry on with my life. That is the most terrible thing that can happen to you.

You get your leg amputated, it's not such a serious thing. You get your leg amputated, it's not such a serious thing. But when God doesn't listen to your prayers, What type of Christian are you then? Why did God stop listening to your prayers?

Marriage as a Covenant before God

Why do you ask this question? God is a witness for you and your 75 year old wife. You became a wife to your friend and your body and betrayed her. She is called the wife of your youth. She may be 75 years old.

How can you say that my 75 year old wife is the wife of my youth? Do you know what that verse means? You look at your wife exactly like she was when you were first attracted to her as a young girl. Whatever her age, you look at her the way she was when she was young.

And if you don't do that, then you will look at other young women and get attracted to them. Husband wife relationship is very sacred before God. It says here, she is your wife by covenant. Covenant. See 1 Peter chapter 3.

It says the same thing here. 1 Peter 3 and verse 7. Husbands live with your wives in an understanding way because she is a weaker vessel. If you don't live with her in an understanding way, and you don't grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, then your prayers will not be heard.

Same thing in Malachi. God is not listening to your prayer because you are not living in a proper way with your wife. Sisters, God is not listening to your prayer because you are not living in a proper way with your husband.

So it's a very serious thing when husband and wife are not getting along with each other. So it's a very serious thing when husband and wife are not getting along with each other. Why does God want you to be one?

Let's turn back to Malachi chapter 2. In verse 15 it says,. Now this is translated in different ways in different translations. So I want to tell you how I understand this verse. In those days people did not have the Holy Spirit within them.

So it's saying here that even if you have a little bit of the Holy Spirit you will never act like this. If you say you have the Holy Spirit and you are born again, you will never have this type of disunity and disloyalty to your husband or wife.

He wants you to be one. Why does he want you to be one? Because he is seeking a godly offspring. In order to get a godly offspring, husband and wife must be one. So therefore take heed to your spirit it says.

And don't deal treacherously with the wife of your youth. So what I want to stress there is that the best way to bring up godly children is by husband and wife being one. And in verse 16 it says take heed to your spirit.

Verse 15 and 16, twice it is mentioned. It's not your external getting angry or actions. You know when you get angry with your husband or wife or you speak in a rude way just controlling your tongue does not solve the problem.

It's your spirit. From the heart Jesus said the words come out through the mouth. We have to watch our heart. A heart means the thoughts that come up which are not good towards your husband or wife. Don't wait till it comes out of your tongue.

You must deal with it in your heart itself. As soon as a thought comes up. Because if you and your husband and wife are one you can have godly children. Now I did not know all this when I was married.

We were married 42 years ago. I'll tell you honestly I did not have victory over sin 42 years ago. I did not know the message I am preaching today. For 7 years of my married life I never knew all this.

So 7 years of my married life I was defeated. I would get angry and speak rudely. I am ashamed of it. But what to do? But I thank god it has all changed now. All I say is don't get discouraged. If you were also in the same pit of anger and rude words.

No you can get out of the pit like I got out of it. I got out of it long ago. It's gone now from my life completely. I got out of it long ago. It's gone now from my life completely. My children can see a house of peace.

Since my children were small after marriage I thank god they do not remember all this. Now you got some time to work on your relationship with your husband and wife. By the time your children come to an age of understanding they must see father and mother living in peace at home.

Loving one another. Caring for one another. Respecting one another. Especially in the way you speak to each other. And respecting each other. You brothers who are husbands I want to ask you a question.

Husbands as Caring Heads and Wives as Honored Queens

Don't you think you should be the king in your house? Yes or no? You should be the king in your house. It's not a sin. Do you want to be the king in your house? I'll tell you how to do it. You want to know?

Treat your wife like a queen. Very easy. Only one sentence. Treat your wife not like a slave but like a queen. And when she becomes a queen, what does her husband become? King. Okay, now I'll ask the sisters.

You're not going to escape. Do you want to be the queen in your house? Yes or no? You know the answer. Treat your husband like a queen. Treat your husband like a king. Boy, what wonderful homes we're going to have in Tamil Nadu from today onwards.

We're going to have royal kings and queens in our homes. And our children will grow up as princes and princesses. Spiritually. That's how it should be. Now even if you don't attain that goal in one day, Say, Lord, I'm going to get there.

I want a home like that. Where we are one as husband and wife. I'm not going to get discouraged because I'm defeated. Because I heard from brother Zach, he was also defeated once. That gives me hope. If he was defeated, it's alright.

Then I can also become like him one day. Don't give up hope. You can be an overcomer. But you have to say, Lord, I want this life. I want my home to be like a heaven on this earth. See, in the book of Deuteronomy, There's a very beautiful promise.

It's in Deuteronomy. I think it's chapter 11, isn't it? Let me just see. Verse 21. In the margin of my Bible, it says, That in the land in which you go, which the Lord promised your fathers, Your days will be like the days of heaven upon earth.

That is how it's translated in one translation. Your days will be like the days of heaven upon earth. I have read that verse many years ago. And I said, Lord, I want my life to be like that. That people who come in touch with me will taste a little bit of heaven.

A little bit of the holiness of heaven. Joy. Peace. Nobody is in a bad mood in heaven. And I don't want ever to be in a bad mood on this earth. And imagine, if our home is like that, That every day in your home is like a day of heaven on this earth.

You say, Lord, I want a home like that. I'll tell you something about God. I've discovered through many years. You will not receive if you do not ask. The most important thing that we need is salvation from sin.

Asking God for Salvation, Victory, and a Heavenly Home

First of all, forgiveness of sins. Even that you cannot get unless you ask. See what it says in Acts 4 and verse 12. It says, there is no other name given among men whereby we must be saved. And it goes on to say here, in another verse, I'm just looking for that verse where it says, Whoever will call upon the name of the Lord will be saved.

That's a promise. If you call upon the name of the Lord, you'll be saved. Turn to James in chapter 4. Last part of verse 2. What does it say? You do not have because you do not ask. You don't call upon the name of the Lord.

You don't even get forgiveness of sin. You don't ask the Lord for victory over sin. You won't get victory over sin. Luke 11, 13 says, God will give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him. Remember this verse in James.

You do not have because you do not ask. Even the smallest little thing. Why did somebody else get it? He asked for it. In the Gospels, there's a story of a blind man who cried out to Jesus for healing.

And we read there that the people told him to keep quiet. Mark chapter 10. There was a blind beggar named Martimius, verse 46, sitting by the roadside begging. He was blind and he was a beggar. Mark 10, 46.

He didn't have a house. He lived by the roadside just like some beggars today. And he heard a noise on the road. He couldn't see anything. And he asked people what's happening. He said, Jesus, the Nazarene is walking by.

And we have heard about Jesus healing other sick people. And it says he cried out. Verse 47. He didn't just say it softly. He cried out, Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me. A lot of people standing near him.

They sternly told him, be quiet. Not just told him, but it says they sternly told him. Keep quiet. Who do you think you are, beggar? This is a great prophet. But he didn't care for what people said. Supposing he listened to all those people and said, oh, oh, okay, I'm nobody.

I'll just keep quiet. He didn't care what anybody said. You must be like that. You can learn from this blind beggar. Blind beggar can teach Christians many things. Cry out. Lord Jesus, save me. Save me from my sin.

Save my children. Save my home. Save my husband. Save my wife. And when did he stop? He stopped only when Jesus listened to him. Jesus stopped and said, call him. Then those people said, oh, he's calling you, go.

And Jesus said, what do you want me to do for you, verse 51? I'll tell you this, when you call out to the Lord, he'll ask you this. He's the same today. What do you want me to do for you? He said, Rabbone, I want to regain my sight.

What a fantastic request. He was asking for a miracle. What a bold man he was to ask for a miracle like that. He was asking for a miracle. He didn't say, give me some money, give me a job. He said, give me my sight.

He was asking for one of the most amazing miracles. A man born blind, asking for the eyes to be opened. And Jesus said, your faith has made you well. Where do we see his faith? Two things. One, he did not keep quiet, even though everybody told him to keep quiet.

And secondly, he asked for the most fantastic miracle of all. That is where your faith is manifested. And even if so many voices say, it's no use praying, nothing will happen. No, no, no, your home will never become better.

Your children will not improve. Your husband is hopeless, your wife is hopeless. Don't waste your time praying. And you keep quiet. You learn a lesson from blind Bartimaeus. No Lord, I'm going to believe you that my wife will change.

My husband will change. My children will change. My home life will become heavenly. I am not going to give up. He shouted even more. That's faith. And then when the Lord asks you, what do you want? Ask him for the biggest miracle possible.

Don't ask for small things. Say, Lord, give me a heavenly home. Give me godly children. He didn't ask for money. Lord, I'm not asking for money. Give me a godly home and everything I need will be added.

I know that. If you seek the kingdom of God, you get all the other things you need for earth as well. But if you ask for the earthly things, that's all you'll get. Ask for the greatest miracle you can think of.

And don't stop asking. So what did I say? The way you can bring up godly children is by being one as husband and wife. If you don't know that, the devil knows that. And because the devil knows that, and he wants to mess up your children's lives, he is going to try every day to create some misunderstanding between you and your husband or wife.

It's some little thing you said, which the other person will take in a wrong way. And then there's a misunderstanding. And then you don't talk to each other for the whole day. The devil is happy. You must be careful there.

Becoming One and Resisting the Devil

Lord, I know the devil is just waiting to come between us. Turn to Genesis chapter 2. Here's a beautiful verse. The last part of verse 24. The man shall cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.

The two shall become one. And the man and his wife were both naked. They were not ashamed. They were completely honest and open. God wanted them to be one. What's the next verse? The serpent came. Between them.

Came between them and God. And then came between both of them. So whenever you hear a word from God, like you're hearing now, the two shall become one. The next thing you can be sure is, the serpent hears that and he comes.

I'll tell you right now. As soon as the devil hears, these two shall be one. He's ready to come immediately. That's what you see here. God said the two shall be one. The serpent comes. So, be on the alert.

Don't go to sleep like David. Don't go to sleep like David. Say, Lord, I want to be alert. 1 Peter 5. Verse 8. Be of sober spirit and be on the alert because your adversary the devil prowls about like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour.

Submitting to God’s Design for Men and Women

Submit to God's will. Like that picture of the potter, the clay submitting to the potter. Like that clay submitting to the potter. Say, Lord, I want to submit to your will in my life. God decided when you were born whether you should be a man or a woman.

God didn't make a mistake. I don't think any man wants to be a woman but I think some women preferred to be a man. Any of you men wish you were a woman? No. You like to be the head of your house. But, sisters, let me ask you.

I won't ask you whether you'd like to be a man. Would you like to be the head of your house? Yeah, you say, that I would like. And I don't have to listen to my husband who tells me to do all types of stupid things.

That means you want to be a man. And you wish you were born as a man. You are saying, Lord, you made some mistake in making me a woman. Do you think God made a mistake when you were in your mother's womb?

Well, let me tell you right now he doesn't make any mistake. If he gives you six daughters do you think he has made a mistake? No. In the world they say that. Oh, another daughter. How sad. God doesn't say that.

Joy in heaven over every baby that's born. God didn't make a mistake when he made you a woman. And he's got a wonderful purpose for you. I think Eve was not happy that she was made after Adam. No, I don't know her mind.

You say, how do you know Eve felt like that? Because when the serpent came she did not allow Adam to speak. She herself replied to the serpent. They were both standing together next to each other. It says there in Genesis 3 that they were standing next to each other.

And the serpent of course knew I can get the wife first. And she starts replying like the head of the house. And she takes the fruit without consulting Adam at all. What does that indicate? I wish God had made me first.

Why do I have to consult him? Do you know that all the confusion in the world came because of that? All the sin came because of that. What does it mean to submit to God's way? It means to submit to the fact that God made you a woman.

Okay, God has given you a second place in the home to be submitted to your husband. And brothers, God has made you to be the head. Now there's a lot of difference between head who's a dictator and head who's a head.

There are two things this physical head does. This brain. One, it tells the body what to do. Tells the fingers, legs, everything what to do. But there's another thing. The head cares for this body. It's a small thing.

Supposing one small mosquito comes and sits on this left hand. It's not a big thing. It's not like a lion coming to eat your hand. It's just a mosquito. Immediately the head says, my wife is hurt a little bit.

Let me do something to get rid of that problem. You see how quickly the head tells the right hand to drive off that mosquito. After a mosquito bites you, how long does it take for your right hand to act?

Five minutes. One minute. Not even five seconds. You see how quickly the brain acts. That's what it means to be the head. Not only to tell your wife what to do, but to have a sense when she's hurt. And to remove that hurt.

Then you're going to be a good head and you'll have wonderful children. So from today onwards we're going to have some wonderful homes in Tamil Nadu in our churches. God bless you. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, your word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path.

Help us to live in a godly way. We have all failed miserably in our past years. We are ashamed of the way we spoke to one another. But we thank you that the blood of Jesus has cleansed all that. Now, in the days to come we can live godly lives.

And we can bring up godly children. Thank you. In Jesus name. Amen.