1 Corinthians 13, Who Do You Love?

1st Corinthians chapter 13 hear the word of the Lord If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love

I'm a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal and if I have prophetic powers and understand all mysteries and all knowledge

And if I have all faith so as to remove mountains, but have not love I am nothing if I give away all

I have and if I deliver my body to be burned But have not love I gain nothing

Love is patient and kind love is not envy or boast. It's not arrogant or rude

It is not insist on its own way It's not irritable or resentful is not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth

Love bears all things believes all things hopes all things endures all things love never ends as For prophecies they will pass away as for tongues

They will cease as for knowledge it will pass away For we know in part and we prophesy in part

But when the perfect comes the partial will pass away when I was a child

I spoke like a child. I thought like a child I reason like a child when

I became a man I gave up childish ways for now We see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face now.

I know in part then I shall know Fully even as I am

I have been fully known so now faith Hope and love abide these three, but the greatest of these is love

And the Lord had his blessings to the reading of his Holy Word Well love is doing well these days

Everyone is for love No one that I know of is anti love anybody in here opposed to love any in the opposition to love here

I didn't think so people like stole love. No one wants to be thought of as opposed to anything that is supposedly Loving so the argument for gay marriage is simply that if people love each other when

I let them marry love is love, right? Everything and anything is justified by saying it is

Loving love even have his has its own holiday, you know Valentine's Day name for me any other virtue that has its own holiday

Love is so popular. It's so highly esteemed Love is so loved that we imagine

That must be the way it's always been love has always been that popular But but it's really not so the ancient

Greeks like these Corinthians here listed four cardinal virtues temperance prudence fortitude and justice

Love didn't make the list Perhaps it was thought of as too soft Just to too much self -interest too much about about me so it couldn't possibly be considered a virtue

After all there are reasons to be cynical about love you can understand them I think to be cynical about at least what some people call love and someone said today

I love you means I love me and I want to use you So love for them is it's just a another business deal

It's a way about me getting what I want out of you in Psychology they describe the kind of personality that is consumed by this kind of love

Is the narcissistic personality? It's named after the Greek mythological character of Narcissus who was such a handsome man that one day

He saw his reflection in the water and he fell in love with himself So he was so captivated by himself.

He couldn't tear himself away from gazing adoringly at himself so the psychologists describe a kind of person who is supremely in love with himself as Narcissistic like Narcissus is technically defined as quoting a pervasive pattern of grandiosity need for admiration and a lack of Empathy the narcissist measures.

Everything is good or bad By its impact on that person on me Never mind other people you can tell them all the wrong things someone has done, but the narcissist will reply.

Well, he never did me wrong Hitler killed all those people. Well Hitler didn't hurt me some studies have supposedly shown that there are more and more of such people especially in the younger generation and that they are coming about because love

Is so popular at least what people think of as love It's not that we we love our children more or better now, it's really that we don't love them

Differently than previous generations Didn't love them You know in a previous generation a parent who didn't love his children

Might abuse them or ignore them that if they asked for a toy or a game or to watch SpongeBob SquarePants They would just tell them, you know, shut up and do your chores

Now the fashionable way to not love our children is to indulge them You get them to shut up By giving them everything they want and better yet give them a credit card

So they don't even have to ask you for the money. They can just buy it themselves They can watch anything they want on their

TV that's in their room So you don't have to sacrifice your precious TV time by having

SpongeBob SquarePants on They don't love them enough to say no or to endure disciplining them when they won't listen

So they give their children whatever they want They shield them from anything that is unpleasant all discipline and all criticism

Not only from themselves because they won't discipline or criticize their kids But from everyone else correcting their little darling like the teachers the principals the coaches

They tell them everything they do is great that they deserve every good thing. They get they enable

Narcissism because they think that that enabling is love the result over long enough a time

Is producing Little narcissist who grew up to be big narcissist someone who supremely loves him or herself

Do such people then they turn out to be more loving and generous?

Do they tend to treat others with the same indulgence with which they've been treated? No, in fact, remember the definition part of it.

They lack empathy They tend to be very selfish to expect others to give them whatever they want

To be ungrateful when they get whatever they want because they think they just deserve it They take people and their love for granted

You have they often have a difficult time maintaining long -term relationships because they just use people and when they're done using them

They throw them away They may appear very friendly to someone who initially treats them with respect and kindness But as soon as they begin to realize that they are expected to love to There was a lot of other the other person that they will turn out to be thoroughly uncaring again lacking empathy

Oh, they are all for love. At least they say they are They love love and they may be some of the most vocal people calling out for more love.

We need more love Because they think love is all for them. It's all for you.

You want more of it, right? They assume that love makes me feel good love indulges me They have no concept of a loving father like God Disciplining every child he receives they hate discipline when it applied to them, especially because discipline doesn't feel good

They demand to be loved love me By which they mean indulged They will tell people to stop anything unpleasant in the name of love and love for such people comes in a convenient excuse

Love is so popular It is even called upon to cover up the most unloving things

We find the same in churches today every church that wants to be known as every church wants to be known as a loving family

I think y 'all would have put themselves out as that some will tell you that they will put your ticket here

It's a great southern phrase. We'll love you to death They're only telling a half -truth They may they may get you to death, but the love part no, maybe not

What they mean, of course is that they are welcoming that they're nice At least they say they are at least superficially they smile and they're glad to see you

They want to make you feel good so that you'll come back particularly visitors for time visitors

Hope you feel liked and not that we're nice people. So you'll come back now. Is that love?

Are they just desperate for another donor? Oh By the way, a very warm. Welcome to our visitors and all of you

Love is so popular today, but it's popular for the wrong reason Love is popular because so many people assume love is about me if we're all loving it's all gonna be good for me

They might very well be all for love. They're loudly for love They just don't know who to love who do you love

This chapter divides easily into three parts in verses in verses 1 to 3 we see that love is an active ingredient in verses 4 to 7 love is committed and 3rd and verses 8 to 13 love is lasting

Love active ingredient committed. It's lasting the Corinthians were impressed by people who could demonstrate or claim to demonstrate spectacular spiritual gifts if someone could speak in tongues or for till the future or have enough faith to move mountains into the sea if someone was a

Miracle worker. Well, that's impressive That's something what worth watching on TV Maybe even sending a donation for or going to some

Coliseum to see the so -called Apostle or a prophet or healer do his thing. That's what traveling for They might not be interested in going to church doing the hard work of learning

God's Word or even the harder work of Helping others learn the word. That's not so interesting

Oh, but seeing the spectacular, you know people falling all over at the shouts of be healed. I Can do that pretty well gonna yeah,

I'm from a man in a very expensive suit I don't have a very expensive suit, but now that's something that's impressive

Paul says that you can have that you can even have it for real Really working miracles people are really healed and yet if it's lacking that one active ingredient love

Then it's worthless To us it may be spectacular. It may be impressive but to God it is

He says nothing Absolutely, nothing Like a medicine that's really a placebo just a sugar pill hasn't there's no active ingredient

None of the real medicine that you need to actually make you better Without love all these gifts that he's writing about from chapters 12 to 14 without love.

They're just they're just placebos. They're ineffective They don't do anything Perhaps we

Baptists most elevate the gift of preaching right? That's the one you really want right? Is it the same as the gift of prophecy here?

We'll see more next week perhaps sometimes and some of us will travel to hear our favorite preacher are we going because we want to be fed the

Word of God because we love God or because we just We just love that form of entertainment

Preaching just happens to be some people watch the NFL some people like preaching That's just their entertainment. If our listening to sermons is not mixed with an active ingredient of love that we wasted our time it's nothing and Me if I deliver what everyone says is a great sermon if I if I love the praise and flattery

I get If it's all about me showing off rhetorical skills impressing you with my ability to preach or my advanced education

You know, this is the heiress passive here You know that kind of thing but through it.

I never love you our God It's nothing and I'm nothing

Love is the active ingredient that makes everything and anything we do worthwhile Someone can be gifted with prophetic powers

Able to understand and explain the deep things of God knowledgeable about great things

Can parse the Greek verbs has revelations of mysterious things full of confidence carries himself

Like a great leader and so others just naturally follow him or her but if they lack the active ingredient of love

It's all for nothing Paul here says that even the most powerful talking

Even speaking in tongues if it lacks the active ingredient of love, it's just it's just empty noise Their their native

Greek cults the worship of Dionysius and Sibyl a use noisy gongs and clanging cymbals

Some some religions still do that today from their temples that would arise this this noise

That they called worship You can see that in Corinth these pagan temples this gongs and cymbals clashing coming out of them

And so to the Corinthians were bringing their tongues their prophetic, you know utterances their their their speech -making with power and eloquence

And they were bringing all that together, but without love and they were calling that worship and the result

Paul says It's just the same That gongs and stuff. Just a racket

Love is the commitment to do good to others So then if we really want to be impressive immortal

Should we do great works of charity? That's got to be love right? Sell our things and give away all our money to the poor when that be true spirituality something worth admiring

You know, but people are funny People have a way they can corrupt anything People can still give they can even give a lot

But only do Do it for something that's for them Maybe just the sense that they must be really nice people

After all only only really nice people give away so much That they might give for the tax deduction

They might give because they've been told you got to pay the certain amount to be acceptable for God They might give for the brick has their name carved on it or for the pew or the piano or the stained -glass window with their

With their name on a little plaque with their name So everyone will know they gave so much or if they're really rich They can have a college building with their name on it.

They might give out a lot of money But it's always with the intention of getting something else they want

Recognition their picture in the paper. You've seen the picture giving out one of those huge checks. It takes two to hold them

They they want to be the guy in the paper holding one of those Some I think well the way to solve that problem is by giving anonymously so you don't get any credit from it ah, but but they know they gave and Maybe they're so narcissistic

That the only credit they really care about is from themselves So they give for the feeling that they get that they must be really great people

Even if no one else knows that they know it And that's all they're thinking about Ever gotten a gift

For Christmas or your birthday or whatever, you know that you realize that it showed that the giver didn't really think about you

About what you needed or wanted or liked you got a tie But you don't wear ties

You get a sweater and a color that everyone knows you hate or you're a Tar Heels fan We got a

Duke sweatshirt or vice versa Or you're a state fan and got either of those and the giver should have known that You've got the gift and you kind of feel like you're supposed to be grateful for it, but but you can't because you know that that shows

The giver didn't really think about you if he had taken Just five seconds actually considered you that he or she would not have known better than to give that.

You know, why are they giving? Not really because I love you. Is it so why are they giving?

It's because they love themselves maybe to buy recognition At least in their own eyes

They have a sense of moral worth They're worthy people after all they bought a gift

That shows they're worth something So they have can have a feeling like he or she is a really is a good neighbor a good relative

The kind not the kind that doesn't give anything for your birthday a good citizen a good church member proof least to themselves

That they are loving Some believe that that is worth paying for But one of those who pay the ultimate price no surely they aren't just thinking of themselves are they

Are they willing if they're willing to die perhaps as a martyr? Willing to be burnt to death instead of denying

Christ. Isn't that proof that they're noble that they're great

The Japanese in World War two would rarely surrender fighting to the death Well, even well after they had been clearly defeated in battle the

Americans would sometimes have to burn them out of their holes With flamethrowers because they would not give up They gave their bodies to be burned

But they had not loved that active ingredient Perhaps they just wanted to prove to the world or themselves or their family of their courage their nobility their honor

Just like the givers who give for the name on a building They wanted a name they wanted fame and they thought it was worth paying for even if they had to pay for it with their lives

People can love themselves To the point of destroying themselves Who do you love

Love of self so natural to us as sinners. So people who are so compulsive and Overwhelming that we are willing to kill ourselves

In our quest to love ourselves is the opposite of the love described here This is not the narcissistic love so common in our society each of the ways love is described in verses 4 to 6 is a way of describing the commitment of love

But committed to who? The narcissist is committed to himself love is committed to others here

Chapter 13 in this context, especially to other Christians to church members to other members of the body

Here's the part of 1st Corinthians 13 that's middle section that is often read in weddings

I don't think there's I'm thinking wrong with that But that's not really his intention.

Is it it is I think many people think is though this was just about marital love

We think that in this culture because that that's the love

That returns me the most reward It's so easily made About me that appeals to narcissistic people who think love is about being able to use other people

But that's not what this passage is about It's about people in the church who were forgetting to remember from chapter 11 discern the body

Think about the other members they were forgetting to think about the other people for whom Christ died

It's about Christians who think the Christian life is it's just them and Jesus walking on the beach There's only two sets of footprints on the sand after all

It's there's no one that you're committed to walk together in Christian love it's about the church

Notice love is is patient It's committed to the other And so does it it doesn't throw up its hands and give up when it finds that the relationship after it isn't all about me

After all, it's patient when it which means it's putting up with things that tempted to be impatient Like you'll never know if love is patient and love is tempted by impatience loved understands others don't exist for our convenience

So when they aren't convenient to us Like maybe they require visiting maybe in a nursing home or Transportation they require help.

They require money when they try our patience We if we're loving

Don't get impatient and give up Go away Love is kind Because if we're committed to the good of others we was we're committed to their good even if they're not worthy and so we

We have that sort of lubricant of kindness. We think about the impact of our actions on others on the who

We're supposed to be committed to Love is not envy Because being for others love is not not displeased at their success

That's glad that they've succeeded love doesn't boast because the loving person is not so impressed with himself Love, is it rude?

Because others feelings and their needs are considered Love doesn't insist on its own way because love gives itself rather than asserting itself

Love isn't irritable or touchy because the person who knows who to love

Knows that there's other there's more important things than just my feelings or any perceived slight that you know some

Perhaps felt insults or that maybe someone is accidentally or perhaps even on purpose

Given us my hurt feelings Aren't the biggest deal in the world to the person with love the loving person doesn't cut off our relationship ship because here

He or she didn't get what she wanted because the other person didn't do what she wanted so love is not resentful

Isn't not keeping an account a list of offenses harboring a sense of injury brooding over every perceived violation of what we think

Are our rights? Meditating on what he what he what he did to me. He didn't visit my family in the hospital.

So I'm unfriending him Love keeps no record of wrongs but narcissists

They keep no record of rights Or of right kind generous things done to them since they take that for granted

They even consider it to be guilty them to be reminded of the good things that were done for them because that reminds them

That they aren't grateful Love does not rejoice in the wrong because people who are glad about the wrong are only thinking of the advantage to themselves

You know the lost money they found not the one who lost it Love does not take pleasure in hearing how someone else anyone else suffered and injustice

Love rejoices in the truth because the true lover believes that truth is good for him or her and others

Even when it doesn't feel good There's a Russian saying The opposite of a friend is not an enemy but a flatterer

Love really does care about the long -term Good of the other person not just being liked by them now

Love bears all things believes all things hopes all things and doers all things love never fails

But all things from who Who is never failed

Here by the way of all places is the most in my opinion The most ironclad proof in the

New Testament of the importance of a covenanted church membership You can't have the kind of love he's describing here without loving specific

People it's not just a feeling you have got a vaguely toward everybody It's particular people a particular local church without being a committed church member if the church is like a restaurant

Like many people view it think of it today. We're just customers coming in and out getting our service

Going where it is good for us. There's no no body to consider There's no other members that were attached to then if the staff at one place, is it serving us like we want?

Well, we'll just skip off to somewhere else You aren't gonna bear all things It out back.

Are you? No, of course not. You'll go to Red Lobster instead You're gonna bear anything.

You're not gonna hope anything or endure anything. Certainly not gonna endure anything You you are not gonna put up with lousy service

Because you're the customer and the customer is King and you don't get if you don't get service that you like If you're not told how great you are

What we think of as love you'll go somewhere else Where you can have it your way

It doesn't matter if you sign your name to a covenant if you repeat it once a month before the Lord's Supper It doesn't matter what kind of commitment you make if you don't have love you will fail to keep it

Perhaps one of the most depressing things I've ever seen out of a so -called Christian is when one what wrote about the church something like I Thought it was all about me

That comes from having no love being taught that you don't have to love at least not the church

You'd love your wife or your husband not the church. The church is all about you It's like a it's a service provider, you know, you have

Comcast you have dish network you have your church That this chapter really is all about romance and as for your commitment to the people for whom

Christ died Just love yourself Who do you love

Well love is very popular today at least in name But so often it's just a loving feeling have you lost that loving feeling a feeling that makes us feel feel good and when the

Feeling is gone So is the so -called love it's gone gone

Gone, and then so are we if we don't love the love here is a commitment to do good to others

It doesn't show when most of our English versions, but most of the descriptions of love here are verbs love suffers long it does patience it patience love covers it believes it hopes it

Endures all things love is not a feeling in ourselves Love is a verb.

It's actions outward toward others Mary has friends in Singapore when when she told them that one of our members was sick.

They didn't just say well I hope she gets better We'll put her on our prayer list They figures well, she could use a vacation

Help with medical bills and so forth one couple use their timeshare ownership to give a week's stay

At a resort in the mountains others together gave about seven thousand dollars We we've had members here

Give each other free childcare Do lawn mowing when they're away and they can't mow their own lawn and give them a trampoline for their children a playground even

Loan the money to make their business possible love acts. It produces generosity for others other members of the body and Generosity produces community generosity is

God's way of producing community You give a gift or maybe you get a gift receive a gift and you realize man

I'm loved These people have loved me and you feel connected you're part of the you realize you're part of a community a body and So you love but sadly tragically

The narcissist never feels generosity Everything given to him or her they think is deserved.

So they'll take the gifts for granted and they'll keep a careful account of the wrongs committed against them real or imagined and abandon betray and Fail those who love them

Love never fails Narcissist always do Love is all about others

So, who do you love? Well, the Corinthians like many today were impressed by the spectacular they pursued those things because they would they would serve

Spectacular they thought would serve the one they loved themselves But they couldn't see that the spectacular gifts were in reality childish things childish ways

It's like a dim candle compared to the brilliant full light of the Sun They were a poor reflection compared to the unveiled face -to -face encounter that we will have

They didn't realize that those things that they think were so spectacular will one day cease

That they're temporary. They all come with expiration dates on them They didn't know that love lasts and the last six verses

Paul illustrates that love Unlike all the the showmanship that so impressed them that it lasts

Even prophecies speaking in power by the Holy Spirit will pass away as Impressive as that is to many people either though either could be the foretelling of the future or the preaching of God's written word that will pass away when it's no longer needed but if love went into it if love went into setting up the chairs or Singing a song or driving the van or the bus or giving an offering into teaching

Jim jr Or letting the guys play basketball and sharing the word with them if that was done in love Then that love will last speaking in tongues will cease

As much as some people want to push and prod everyone into pursuing that one gift as important as some people think it is It will cease and be no more

It will be like training wheels on your bike and for so long they seemed like they were just part of the bike

They were permanent part, but then we didn't need them anymore and we grew up Even knowledge will pass away either the intellectual ability to understand great theology to learn the original

Greek and often fall into the trap of developing a spirit of contempt this arrogance a scoffing attitude toward others who don't know as much as you do a

Loveless knowledge will pass away and so will a gift of knowledge It's getting special insight and revelation from the

Holy Spirit that will no longer be necessary all these gifts that of the spirit that that the

Corinthians were were so Obsessed and impressed by which many still pursue today often forsaking the word

Turning their off their brain so that they can get some new revelation all of them are temporary therefore this time in between the first and the second comings of the

Lord Jesus Between the rule of God introduced on earth when Jesus came when the penalty for our sins was paid for as he is our

Passover Lamb was sacrificed in our place when he rose from the dead Triumphant over sins between that on the one hand and when he returns to complete the

Installation of the kingdom of God on the other hand and that's where we are

That's where we are now and that's when the gifts are for before the perfect comes

The perfect whom we'll see face to face is Christ and in this in -between time

The power of the Spirit is with us to empower us to to use us to give us the tools to help us to reach others, but the gifts he gives

Are all temporary Only the love that is shed abroad in our hearts will last when the

Lord Jesus returns He is the perfect The gifts are the partial

He is the mature The gifts are the other childish to seek the gifts but forget about the love is to seek his hand and to forget about his face

All these things that people today spend so much time obsessing arguing dividing about chasing after maybe boasting up Showing off all of them will in the end be thrown away like your childhood teddy bear

Yes, they are can be useful for now We need to pray for the power of the gifts of the Spirit But remember when he pours them out on us that they're only for this time that they will expire one day they give us only a glimpse a blurry image

Like looking into polished metal that passed for a mirror in Paul's day. You can see the bear outline

You know in polished metal general appearance of yourself but the details

Will be obscure So is so is our view of God today even the best prophecies the most eloquent preaching the most awe -inspiring displays of supernatural power can only offer a blurry glimpse, but when he comes the perfect Then we will fully know him

Just as we are fully known So when that day comes When we see him our gifts and our works

What we gave and acquired will not matter But only the faith that believed in him before we saw him the hope that trusted in his promises and the love

It wasn't all about ourselves So Who do you love you're supposed to love the same people that Jesus loved on the cross

Who did Jesus love? Jesus was not dying for himself Was it just trying to make a name for himself?

He was showing his love for the utterly unlovable for others For the church most of all for the father and the father to love the unlovable by sending the most loved

For us and it wasn't just a demonstration as you show God just proving something, you know, see this is how much

I love. No, it was what we needed We were cut off from God then God acted love is a verb is committed

It acts and so God acted for us sending Jesus for us for us people

For us people who are so unlovable so self -loving That God loved us by sending his son to do for us

What only he could do Live the perfect God -loving life that we wouldn't so that life that he lived could be credited to us and He could take the just punishment for our self -centeredness for our self -love

Amazing love How can it be? That you by God Would die for me