Cleaving is an existential word, this is what I love about the faith, that the depth of what God is after, cleaving is something that, well probably we could not perform it except by God, it's like the burning quality of love and of faith, the God who is a fire, cleaving is an intensity of full participation with another but again everything in the world militates against that, not only with our wives but in our fellowships because what are most of our fellowships but ships passing in the night, how are you brother, fine, how are you, good, I'll see you in the lobby of the church, I'll give you a back slap, I'll cleaving in marriage and in the church and that's why we so lightly regard both institutions and cast them off or find another and try, try again if this one has not been successful, so the word cleave is really very precious and we know that every word that's before us is divinely chosen, God could have said this in another way, he could have said it in a lighter way but he chooses one of the most intensive existential requirements to indicate what will be necessary if the two are to become one flesh because this whole girlfriend boyfriend thing probably is one of the most demonic assaults on the genius of this that the powers of darkness have ever conceived and has become so culturally acceptable that in fact if they don't have girlfriends, boyfriends, we think they're unnatural, but where is there a Christian teenager who will keep themselves for the one for whom God has appointed them and will not give themselves in dalliances and alliances of an emotional and soul binding kind with a half a dozen other girls or boys before they're married, let alone the intimacy that usually accompanies that, so by the time we come to marriage we've already been so squandered, so compromised, so diffused that we cannot give ourselves to one, the memory of this past guy or that will you know and measuring the one against the other, a pox on dating, a pox on easy liberal boyfriend girlfriend and maybe one of the reasons why we allow our kids to indulge in that is that there's not a sufficient and compelling reality in the body of Christ that would keep our kids, that they're not receiving sufficient affection, hugs, warmth from the body that they need to find it in some exclusive relationship in the back seat of a car, so I'm just talking off the top of my head, but it's a profound area of examination and that we have to resist the culture that encourages dating, encourages these easy relationships and now even giving out the condoms that they can have safe sex in it, we have a battle on our hands, everything encourages romantic preoccupation with the other sex that our kids do not know, have never been instructed to wait and to believe the Lord for the time in which he himself will give the appointed partner as a once and for all and cleave to them, so we're all victims of this, my God I've left a trail behind me of relationships and girls and marriages and then you come into a relationship with a woman who's also had a comparable background and you're going to make a match of it, it's the mercy of God that we're kept together to the degree that we have been, it sounds like a full time calling, so you have to shut off the football game and the golf course and this kind of, this call is not something that can be done in our spare time, it's got to be a foremost priority and why does it say about father and mother here, shall a man leave his father and his mother, you know often when God speaks if not invariably, he's speaking symbolically as well as actually, father and mother represent a whole multitude, a panoply of things, of domestic values, of good things, of relationships, of culture, it's more than just literally father and mother, in order to cleave there's got to be a radical separation, not just from questionable things, little and evil things but even good things, you can't have a mixed loyalty, I think this is what God is getting after, father and mother are good but if this mystery is going to be completed, even the good thing has got to be set aside or kept in its place and not be allowed to distract from the kind of fullness of attention that will complete this mystery and probably that's been a factor in mitigating against this completion as it's not the evil things that have distracted us but the good things, mother and father represent something good but cloying, you know this word and maybe I know this especially in Jewish life, where the mother is so possessive and cloying and dominating the sons, that's where we have a lot of outraged Jewish writers and revolutionaries because their vexation had its advent in being matriarchally dominated by a Jewish mother and they did not know to separate themselves from the good, the good thing became evil because they had not heeded the word of God, if you're going to cleave, it's going to require a radical separation, not just from mere distraction but from things that have a validity and a goodness in them but they contend against this and you need to know, be able to say no, you need to impose a limitation as I did on the brother this morning who was going on too long, see what I mean?