Tribulation Worketh — Dean Stump

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To you at Living Hope Christian Fellowship, joy to you this morning. I am honored to be here with you. We count it a privilege to be among God's people, God's saint, on Sunday morning. And many of you we know, and privileged to be here and worship with you this morning.

I thought that you couldn't find a church anymore in America that you could gather in without air condition. I was blessed to sit there and feel the breeze, and thought the only thing that could be better is to be sitting under a mango tree.

Right, Mickey? So, thank God. The memories that were flashing through my mind, well, of course, of my boyhood when I grew up without air condition, but this last time I was in Ghana with Brother Denny a year and a half ago, there was a service under a mango tree, and there was a brother preaching, and it was hot, and he just kept preaching, and there was some dear old sisters sitting there, and you could see they were struggling with the heat, and they had something to fan themselves with, but such a blessing it seems to be out there under the mango tree, and worshiping God, and hearing the word of God preached.

Well, before I start my message, one other thing I need to bring to your attention is the song that we sang this morning. Those things have been much on my heart lately. Number 589 says, He's gone, the spotless soul is gone, triumphant to his place above, and recently that has meant much more to me.

I love the language that it gives. When we think of death, and burying a loved one, burying one of our fellow believers, many times it's a sad time in some ways, but listen to the language here, and how the songwriter closed this triumphant soul.

He's gone, triumphant to his place above. The prison walls are broken down. Look how he paints the physical that we're clothed with here today. The prison walls are broken down. The angels speed his swift remove, and shouting on their wings, he flies and gains his rest in paradise.

Let's make our funerals times of triumph. Saved by the merits of his Lord, glory and praise to Christ he gives. Yet still his merciful reward according to his works receives. And with the bliss he sowed below, his bliss eternally shall grow.

What he experienced here will only get better in eternity. So I guess the reason I bring this to our attention this morning is now it's your turn. Now it's my turn. Are we going to leave that legacy behind us?

Are we going to go triumphant to our place above? It's our opportunity, and we have a choice to make. And I praise God for the choice that you all made today to lay aside this day, lay your tool belt aside, your computer, your home making, whatever it is that you busy your life with, and come out here and meet with the saints today, and be encouraged, and sing the songs of Zion, and worship your God, and fellowship with the saints.

The Necessity of Christian Fellowship

We have a blessed opportunity, and that's what you chose today. And I thank God that you chose that, because God tells us in his word that we can't neglect the assembling of ourselves together. Because if we...

If I can get it there, maybe I should turn to it quick. In Hebrews chapter 10, I believe it is, if we neglect the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is, it says, in verse 26,. For if we sin willfully, after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins.

And I don't understand the depth of all that, and I'm not here to preach a message on it, but it gives the idea that if we're going to think that, well, I don't need to go to church to worship God, I don't need my brothers and sisters, maybe I don't even need a day of rest.

I can still put my faith in Christ. I can still read my Bible and worship God on my own. Well, according to what I understand this scripture to say, is that if we don't do everything that is within our power to do, and meeting together and exhorting one another and encouraging one another, it may be that we will fall back into sin.

It may be that our hearts will grow cold. So, that was just a little side message that I was inspired with here as we were singing this morning. But let's turn to Romans chapter 5. And I'd like to read the first eight verses in Romans chapter 5.

Romans 5 and the Work of Tribulation

Therefore, being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.

And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also, knowing that tribulation worketh patience, and patience experience and experience hope, and hope maketh not ashamed, because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

For when we were yet without strength in due time, Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die, yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth His love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

The title of my message is in verse 3, Tribulation worketh. I want to show you this morning from the Word of God that tribulation worketh. Tribulation has its place in your life today. As long as you are clothed in your body of flesh, tribulation worketh.

Tribulation is not something that you should try to run from. I'm not saying that you should try to run into it, but you shouldn't try to run from it, because God says that tribulation worketh. There's many different ways that tribulation comes upon us, and we want to look at some of that here this morning, and we want to look a little bit at the work that it does.

According to Strong's, tribulation is pressure or affliction or anguish, being burdened or persecution or trouble, pressure, affliction or being afflicted, anguish, burdened, persecution or trouble. And I looked it up in 1828 Webster's, and it says to thrash or to beat.

Now, unfortunately, around here, we go through our corn fields, our wheat fields with a machine, and the grain comes rolling out, and we don't think much about the threshing that that grain went through.

But if you find yourself yet in a third world country, in many places of the world today, they still understand very clearly what it is to thrash or to beat something. I've watched them do it there in Ghana, and it's a very painstaking job, but they have their thrashing instruments that they beat the grain, beat the rice or the corn with to get the grain separated from the chaff, from what was at one point a very necessary part of that grain.

To get that grain, they have to thrash it with a thrashing instrument. Well, the combines around here, they have their thrashing instruments inside there that vehemently beats that grain or the chaff from the grain.

This is still in Webster's. It says about tribulation that it's a severe affliction or distresses of life. I think it mentioned that usually coming from persecution. Well, my personal testimony is that before I was afflicted, before tribulation came upon me, I went astray.

Personal Testimony: Tribulation Bringing Surrender

I can testify here this morning that tribulation worketh. Tribulation has done and is doing a work in my heart. When I was seventeen years old, I can remember clearly the day sitting in my father's living room, and we had company.

The feeling that I had in my heart of superiority to my father and feeling the need to bring correction to him because I thought I knew more, I knew better, I somehow had greater knowledge than my father who was twenty-some years my senior.

What a shame. What a proud heart I had. And my loving heavenly father, who I didn't know at that time as my father, understood what I needed. He knew that he had to bring some tribulation into my life to bring me to a place of nothingness, a place of undoneness.

And just to share a couple of experiences there that did bring me to a place of surrendering my life, when also at the age of seventeen, out on the pond ice skating with friends, again that proud heart stuck up its head and felt unconquerable.

It felt like no one could beat me, no one could catch me, and no one was going to make this young proud heart surrender. And all God had to do was touch this shoulder, dislocate this shoulder and bring me to a place of suffering, of suffering that I didn't know, that I had never experienced before.

And now I can look back and say, you know, tribulation worketh. Also, when I was seventeen years old, a few months later, just before turning eighteen, this proud heart, with his nice new truck, with three thousand miles on it, thought that the world spun under his feet, had an accident, rolled the truck, and looking back, it's only the mercy of God that my life was preserved.

Fixed it up and three thousand miles later, again, crashed again. And it was soon after that, that I surrendered my heart and life to Christ. And at that time, I put up a front and maybe was disgusted with what was going on and didn't receive the corrections from the Lord, but I look back now and say, tribulation worketh.

Praise God. Tribulation comes in many ways. It can be a pressure from within. It can be, it can come from the anguish of sin upon our souls. It can come from well-meaning relatives that are opposed to us.

It can be, as I've already mentioned, afflictions in our flesh, troubles that come to our physical bodies, to our financial situation. This tribulation, I see, it comes from a thousand different ways.

It can come from our own selfishness. It can come from those whom we love. It can come from our enemies. It can come from the evil one who is seeking to destroy our lives. And it can come from God who knows just when we need a spanking.

But know that tribulation worketh. It's very important for us to understand because when tribulation comes our way, when suffering, in whatever form it takes, when it comes our way, our natural response is not to glory in it like the Apostle Paul did here.

We read those first two verses and we're excited that we can be justified, that we can be free from our sin, that we can have our names written in the Lamb's Book of Life and we say, praise God, I'm a child of the King.

But Paul says in the very next verse, that's not the only thing I'm excited about. That's not the only thing that causes me rejoicing. I'm also rejoicing in my tribulations knowing that tribulation worketh.

It does a good work in my heart. Well, it says in Matthew 13, verse 20 and 21, Jesus giving the definition to the parable of the sower. It says, he that received the seed into stony places, the same as he that heareth the word and anon with joy receiveth it.

He says, praise God, I'm a child of the King. Yet hath he not root in himself, but doreth for a while. For when tribulation or persecution arises because of the word, by and by he is offended. I guess this becomes the burden of the message here this morning.

Receiving Suffering Without Offense

Where are you in regards to the suffering, to the tribulation, to the persecution, to the anguish or the trouble that you have in your life today? Where are you with it? Jesus says, there are those who hear the word and with joy receive it.

But when tribulation comes their way, they're offended. And sad to say, many of them turn their back on God. When trouble comes our way, the natural man doesn't rejoice in it. When trouble comes your way, there is the temptation to be discouraged.

When God gives you a spanking, you don't always have it fresh in your mind that I am getting this because my heavenly Papa loves me. And we don't always take it with our head bowed and with our knees bent, do we?

Sometimes we stiffen up. You know, when my children become about three years of age, before I give them a spanking, I will sometimes go into a thorough explanation of how they need to take a spanking and how they need to receive that spanking and how they need to surrender their will in that spanking, which is a good sermon for us to preach to ourselves, isn't it?

Well, I don't know what you do when you're in trouble. When persecution, when pressure comes your way. But just a side note, I don't know if I have it written down here, but I read it from G .D. Watson, I think is the name of the writer.

And I have some other quotes from him here this morning. But he says that there's nothing more dangerous to your Christian life than uninterrupted prosperity. There's nothing that will snuff out your life, your spiritual life, more effectively than uninterrupted prosperity.

Whether that be with health or financial, mentally, maybe your family is all for you, maybe your wife supports you, maybe your husband is just doing everything he can possibly spiritually for you, and physically, and everything is going uninterrupted in your life.

If you have no problems, it may be time for you to start praying for some. Because after all, tribulation worketh. And don't you want God to work in your life? Don't you want God to refine your character?

Don't you want God to take you beyond the place of praise God, I'm a child of His. I mean, the first year I was a Christian, I thought I had experienced it all. And it was great. And there was seemingly a grace over my life that shielded me from it seemed like everything.

It seemed like I was undaunted by anything. And I thought I was a very victorious Christian for a while. But then tribulation started coming my way, and I started seeing ugly things come out of my life.

And I've been learning that tribulation worketh. Well, just a word on how not to respond when trouble comes your way. When in trouble, do not blame others. When pressures come your way, don't blame others.

Don't blame God. And don't blame Satan. To blame your troubles, your pressures, your trials on others works many evils, humiliation of ourselves. It sours the heart. It embitters the mind. It clouds the natural faculties and thus poisons the very fountains of our spirits which God designed shall be sweetened and mellowed by the very trouble that we are disposed to complain of.

To lay blame for our trouble on others protects our self-life. If you can find someone or something to blame your troubles on, to blame your tribulation on, it protects you. It protects your ego. It protects your self from being crucified.

And that's what Jesus wants. He said you can't even be His disciple if you can't take up the cross. And the cross means nothing other than suffering. I mean, I don't know what you think it to mean, but brothers and sisters, the cross, if you're going to take up the cross and carry it, it's not going to just be some physical emblem that you carry here around, hang around your neck.

It's going to be some form of suffering in your life. It's going to bring some persecution in your life. And it's designed to bring death. And if you can push off your troubles and your trials and your tribulation upon someone else, you're going to miss that wonderful work that God is trying to work in your life.

Four Purposes of Suffering

Four things I have here that suffering, that tribulation should lead us to. Number one is to detach us from creature comforts to a relationship with the Father. Remember what I said about uninterrupted prosperity?

Somehow, in the gradualness of life, there can creep into our hearts a snugness, a smugness, a satisfaction, a complacency can settle over our heart. And we can become satisfied with the job that we have, with the money is reaching, and everything just seems to be going along, even keel, and there's nothing that causes us to fall upon our knees in desperateness and desperation before God, and in undoneness before God, and in humility before God, in poverty of spirit before God, and say, Lord, I need help today.

Without You today, I'm not going to make it through my day. Without having those pressures that press us in on every side, it can be very dangerous. Sufferings should lead to a detachment from creature comforts to a relationship with the Father.

God wants our attention. He wants a relationship with us. He wants our dependence to be upon Him. Now, if you are one of those stony heart hearers, those pressures, those anguishes, those tribulations can cause you to become bitter and blame others.

This is happening because of what this person did. And if that person wouldn't have done this, I wouldn't be in this mess. Well, you need to start thanking God you are in that mess. And you need to start crying out to God to help you, to give you grace in your time of need.

The Apostle Paul, with his thorn in the flesh, he sought God to remove it from him. But no. God said, that works something in your life that I want to see in your character. Okay, what should suffering do to us?

It should lead us to our Heavenly Father. We should, even if you can't, jump up and down with that sickness that plagues you. With that person that rubs you the wrong way. With that tribulation that you're going through.

Maybe you don't have the grace today to jump up and down and rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory. But you can at least run to your Heavenly Father with it. And cry out to Him to help you. And experience His everlasting arm over your life.

Experience His grace poured into your life as you experience help from above. And you look back on your day and you realize, hey, I made it! God helped me today. Thank You, Lord. Thank You, Heavenly Father.

You will start learning that tribulation worketh. There's another thing that suffering should do to us. Point number two, to take Jesus in as a partner of our pains. In all our afflictions, He was afflicted.

And note here in our text this morning that in due time, Christ died for the ungodly. God commendeth His love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. We were the problem. Christ was not the problem.

But Christ took the problem. He took the responsibility upon Himself. He became a man. He became subjected to the temptations and the tribulations that you and I are subjected to today. And all the way to the death on the cross, all the way to the shedding of the last drop of blood in His body, He is a partner with us in our pain.

He can sympathize with us. In all points that you are afflicted, that you are suffering, that you have anguish or pressures in your life, He was tempted. He understands what you're going through. Brothers and sisters, when the pressures come in on your life, here's what you need to do.

Make Jesus your partner. Come unto Jesus. Like He says there in Matthew 11, 28, 29, and 30, He cries to us. Hear His cry in your time of anguish, in your time of pain and suffering. And rather than become embittered and try to blame it on others and blame it on God and blame it on the devil, and even though others may be responsible and God may be responsible and the devil may be responsible, and there's a certain element of which many times all three are responsible.

But don't go to blaming them for your problem. Start thanking God for the opportunity that you have to relate with Jesus, to fill up that which is behind of the sufferings of Christ and to be made conformable into His image.

Let's just turn to that Scripture there in Philippians. Doubtless, verse 8 says, I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered. Here's that word, suffering.

We're talking about suffering this morning. Paul knew what it was to suffer loss. And he didn't blame anyone. He was glorying in it and doing it gladly for Jesus' sake. For whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung that I may win Christ and be found in Him, not having mine own righteousness which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His suffering, being made conformable unto His death.

He understood. Paul got a glimpse of the importance of sufferings and that sufferings somehow, in this physical life, is going to bring me closer to Jesus. Closer to being able to relate to Him and to be able to share in a relationship with Him.

So, run to the Lord Jesus Christ in the time of your suffering, brothers and sisters. Point 3 is recognize the presence of God in every step. Jesus said, blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

The pure in heart. Those who have had their hearts redeemed. Those who have their hearts cleansed and made righteous through the blood of Jesus. Their heart is free. And when trouble comes their way, they can respond to it in a godly way.

They can see God in it. Or they learn to recognize God in each step of the anguish and understand that God's purposes are being worked out here. In society, you meet many people who are greatly embittered about something that has happened in their life.

My wife had a cousin that had a hand or a finger, a thumb, I forget what it was, just his finger or his thumb, his whole hand, or a couple fingers, something like that, cut off in a saw. And it was somebody else's fault.

It was somebody else's carelessness. And it seems to this day, he's bitter about it. And it's not working right fruit in his heart. But if you can bow your heart to the sovereignty of God and recognize that this all-wise, all-knowing God is looking down on the universe and He cares about what I'm going through and He sees what I am experiencing and He allowed that to happen.

Oh, blessed is the man, is the woman, who is able to see God in the anguishes, in the troubles, in the tribulations, in the trials that come your way. Do you know anyone that has trials that sees God in it?

Do you know people like that? They're the sweetest people on earth, aren't they? They drip with honey. And if you want to be an attraction, an inspiration, living hope to the world, to those who don't know Christ, you want to make them jealous, you start facing your suffering this way.

You start crying out to God that you would recognize Him in all of your trials and your temptations and tribulations that come your way and will be the envy of your community. No one is attracted to the bitter, shriveled up soul that is complaining about his problems and the whole world is against him.

No one's attracted to that kind of person. You start seeing God. You start recognizing God in your life in the trials that come your way. Maybe you're a young congregation and I'm in the throes of it myself.

Maybe you're facing pressures and trials from training your children, from endeavoring to preserve a godly seed in your generation. And maybe that's bringing an anguish of soul upon you. And maybe sometimes it seems like you're not gaining ground and maybe the enemy sows seeds of discord between you and your spouse about what the right way is to handle this situation.

Well, don't be in despair, brothers and sisters. Are you seeing God in the picture? Recognize that the anguish, the pressure that you have is God sent. Recognize that most people in the world don't have that anguish of soul.

They just let their children run wild and whatever they become, they become. Praise God you have that anguish. Praise God you have a caring concern for their souls. But the important thing is to recognize that in this flesh we will suffer.

We need to suffer because tribulation worketh. Point four. I have here, that our sufferings should lead us to be thoroughly softened by our sufferings as to have an unlimited tenderness for all other sufferers of every kind.

When we see others in their hour of trial, in their hour of anguish, this suffering should be leading us to have a compassion, to have our arms around the soul next door that is suffering affliction, that is going through pain, pain of poverty, pain of their physical body, pain of their spiritual life not going well or their pain of their loved ones maybe not doing well.

Suffering, Humility, and the Life of Christ

The Apostle Paul said in 2 Corinthians 4, 7 through 11, in 2 Corinthians 4, we have this treasure, the treasure of the Lord Jesus Christ in our hearts. We have this treasure in earthen vessels that the excellency of the power may be of God and not of us.

See, God wants us to be constantly at a place of undoneness. I marvel many times at the first words out of Jesus' mouth when He was about to preach the greatest sermon ever preached. Blessed, happy, to be envied are the poor in spirit.

Those who are humble, those who have a sense of undoneness about them. We have this power in earthen vessels that the power may be of God and not of us. Understand, in our trials, in our pressures and tribulations, that God is bringing us or keeping us at a place of undoneness, troubled on every side, yet not distressed.

Why not distressed? Because Paul saw God in the picture. He was running to his heavenly Father. When he was distressed, he would run to his heavenly Father. He would link up with Jesus in it and share in His sufferings.

And he saw God in the picture. He recognized that God was brooding over him. We are perplexed but not in despair because he was running to that fountain of living water, persecuted but not forsaken, cast down but not destroyed, always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

For we which live are always delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. See, here again, it's another way that Paul is saying, tribulation worketh.

Tribulation is doing a good thing in my heart. It's keeping me dependent upon God. And he says that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. So, brothers and sisters, if your life is going along in unhindered prosperity, you should tremble this morning.

You should cry out to God this morning that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in your body. That you not come to a place of just depending upon your own goodness, just pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps, just finding a security in your brothers and sisters, and that everything is just fine and okay.

You need to have daily in your life a sense that God, I can't do this on my own. God, I must have Your help. God, of my own strength, I'm going to utterly fall today. I need help today, Lord. Paul says, we preach Christ.

Is that where he stopped? We say today, and I've heard it many times, preach Christ. Just preach Christ. Don't preach anything but Jesus Christ. Is that where it stops? Paul says, we preach Christ crucified.

We preach a suffering gospel. We preach that tribulation worketh. We preach that it's okay to have a financial setback. That doesn't mean that God is against you. That may mean God is giving you a spanking for something.

But we preach that Christ, not the living Christ, not the Christ that walked here among men. We preach Christ crucified. And there's a lot in that. Ponder that. There's a lot in that that speaks of a suffering life, a life of death to self, a life of laying myself on the altar, of being done with myself, and being dissatisfied with myself.

We would never have found pardon, brothers and sisters, if it wouldn't be for the suffering of Christ. We wouldn't know redemption this morning if Jesus would not have suffered, if Jesus would not have clothed Himself with flesh and came down here and suffered all of the anguish and turmoil and knew the prison house of being closed in with a physical flesh and suffering all the sufferings that these physical bodies are subjected to from the fall.

We wouldn't know pardon this morning. We wouldn't know redemption. This young man that shared a testimony would have no testimony to share this morning. We would have no hope if it wasn't that we could preach Christ crucified.

Sorrow or tribulation or anguish or all the many ways that we suffer is like a minister to wean us from ourselves. In redemption, God does a wonderful work in our hearts. He gives us a new heart, new desires.

And somehow, through that all, though there can become just a complacency, a satisfaction that praise God I've been redeemed. We need tribulation in our life. I say we need it. I am not sure sometimes how to think, how to feel about the way it's approached here in our land today towards persecution and suffering.

The charismatic seems to say that God doesn't want us to suffer, doesn't want us to be sick. The voice of the martyrs many times emphasizes the need for us to be up in arms over those who are being persecuted.

And I appreciate the magazine and that it really broadens our horizon and we can see our brothers and sisters in other lands who are being persecuted and we can pray for them and pray that God would give them strength to endure.

But I'm not so sure sometimes the approach that's taken in trying to do all we can politically and to make sure no one faces persecution because we have a right to believe what we believe and not be persecuted for, right?

But the Apostle Paul doesn't seem to have any of that. There seems to be a resignation and acceptance to the point where my understanding of what the Apostle Paul is saying is that you need tribulation in your life.

Don't run from it. Don't pray for the political powers necessarily just to give us all the freedom we need, desire. I'd just like to, in closing, go over a couple of things here that tribulation worketh.

Here in the context says that tribulation worketh patience and patience experience and experience hope and hope maketh not ashamed because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

And when that hope is shed abroad in our hearts, we can have boldness. But that boldness when coming through the avenue of tribulation is not an arrogant boldness, brothers and sisters. It's a quiet boldness, a joyful boldness that cannot be undaunted in the face of whatever comes its way, whatever Goliath comes its way.

It's a boldness and a confidence that comes only because I know in whom I have believed and our confidence rests fully and wholly in Christ. The confidence in our flesh is stripped from us. And there's the temptation when we conquer in Jesus' name to take glory to ourselves.

But when it comes through the avenue of tribulation, there's just a knowing in our hearts Thank You, Lord. Thank You, Lord. It's God. It's all God. I know who I am. Tribulation works as a patience in our hearts.

And that patience moves on to an experience. It's worked out experientially in our lives. It's not just some theology that stays here in our mind, but it gets worked out in the everyday workings of our lives.

And the trials and the temptations come our way and pressures press us in, in the workplace or in the home and whatever it may be in your situation. And we allow that tribulation to work and we run to our Heavenly Father in it and we see God in it and it just works a patience in our hearts and that patience works out into the details as we go through our life.

We respond. We respond right in the tyranny of the moment at the moment when if we're caught off guard there's a temptation to fly off the handle and get upset and get angry at your employee or whatever it is.

In that moment, if you are submitting your heart to the tribulation that God is working in your heart and you're walking through that in patience, then at a time like that you can have victory and you know there's the excuse given sometimes that well, I mean it happened so quick I didn't even have time to think.

Well, at a time like that you can have righteous responses. At a time like that you can look back on and say Wow! Praise God! Glory be to God! Tribulation is working in my life, in my heart. The other thing is when successes do come our way physically, spiritually, when successes come our way in the midst of tribulation we can keep our hearts much clearer.

And the illustration I would like to use is when I was ordained and I'm trying to think of all the details there but the evening that the vote was taken and I was ordained I had just that day before well because when I was 17 I dislocated my shoulder it continues to be dislocated at times and this day I this very day of the evening that the vote was taken for an ordination I dislocated it that day and it was one of the more painful times when it happened and it wouldn't go back in by itself and I had to have somebody take me to the chiropractor and so I was very very sore and very humbled and broken in a way there as we went to church that night and the possibility of me being ordained didn't even cross my mind.

I was in a place of real I was hurting physically and I was at the same time bowing my heart accepting it as God's will and providence in my life and when they said my name I I just was so shocked and yet at the same time I understood that God uses broken vessels and God wants to use those who don't have confidence in themselves and whether God has to use physical ailments like He has to me.

I think He had to do that to me because I had a lot of confidence in my physical ability in the last ten years my knees have given me problems to the point where sometimes I could hardly walk my back has gone out on me to where I was flat on my back my gallbladder has attacked me where I'm again sick in bed and many times it has attacked me and and my shoulder continues to pop out now and then and and gives me much pain.