Growing Up to Maturity — Zac Poonen

The concern in my heart today is the concern that Paul had for Christians who were not growing up to maturity, that the Apostles, the Apostle John had, the writer to the Hebrews had. I want to begin with a verse in Hebrews chapter 5.

In case you don't already know, Hebrews is the great book that talks about the humanity of Christ more than any other book in the New Testament. It's the only book that speaks about Jesus as our forerunner who entered through the veil into the most holy place.

And he's talking about how Christ was tempted like us in Hebrews 4 .15 and did not sin. And therefore we can also go to the throne of grace and get help like he did. The same grace that helped him can help us.

But he received that grace, we read in Hebrews 5 .7, because he prayed with loud crying and tears. So, the implication is if we pray with loud crying and tears, we'll receive the same grace too. And he was heard because of his godly fear, verse 7, last part.

He was not heard because he's the son of God. We would think because he was the son of God, he should be heard. But it says here he was heard because of his godly fear. What does that teach us? We've got to take these scriptures carefully.

Some of us think, well, I'm a child of God, God will hear me. Well, if you don't have godly fear, he won't hear you. Even Jesus, read that. Even though he was the son of God, much more the son of God than any of us sitting here, he was not heard because he was the son of God.

And you are not going to be heard just because you're a child of God. He was heard because of his godly fear or piety. So when God sees godly fear in someone, he hears it. And there you see the reason why so many people's prayers are not answered, why God doesn't even hear them.

It says he was heard, not just answered, he was heard. God does not hear the prayers of many of his children because they lack godly fear. Please remember this verse, Jesus himself was heard because of his godly fear.

So that should be a warning to us. And then he learned obedience. That's another thing. Obedience is not a popular word with many Christians. That Jesus learned obedience. Does God have to learn something?

Doesn't he know everything? He knows everything, but how could God learn obedience in heaven? He doesn't have to obey anybody. Obedience can be learned only if there's something to obey. God didn't have to obey anyone.

Jesus didn't have to obey anyone in heaven. So when it says he learned obedience, it's because he became a man, subjected himself to all the limitations of man, related to his father exactly the same way that you and I relate to God.

Because then only can he be an example for us. He became like us in everything and he learned obedience. That means from childhood, for example, he learned to honor his father and mother. That means his earthly foster father, really.

He obeyed them. He learned obedience. And as he grew up, he learned obedience to the different commandments, like not to lust after women, not to love money. He learned obedience, which he could not do when he was in heaven as a man.

And you and I have the same opportunity now to learn obedience, to be heard by God because of our godly fear and to learn obedience. And that's how he became complete. Jesus became complete because he learned obedience step by step by step, just like a child going all the way to high school.

And then it says concerning him, verse 11, there's a lot more we have to say, but it's very hard to explain. You see, this is concerning Jesus in this way. Most Christians don't know anything about Jesus being tempted like us, Jesus' prayers being heard because he had a godly fear, or Jesus praying with loud crying and tears, or Jesus learning obedience, or Jesus being made perfect.

Verse 9. I mean, these are verses which are very difficult for most Christians to understand. And I wonder if all of you have been gripped by these truths. That's why he says to the Hebrews, there's a lot we have to say more than we have just said.

But he says it's very hard to explain. And I've discovered that if you learn these things, the Holy Spirit will teach you more. He'll teach you things that are not written in Scripture. The Holy Spirit will take of the things of mine and show it unto you about Jesus.

You know, and that is the answer that you will find in every situation you ever face in life, to know exactly the right thing to do. This has been my passion. Lord, in every situation I face in life, I want to know exactly the right thing to do.

Exactly the right thing to say. Exactly the right advice to give to someone who asks me for something. I don't want to just say something that comes into my head. And if we really seek to follow Jesus and see him in this way, as a man who was just like you, tempted like you, prayed with loud crying and tears, feared God, and was little by little by little completed his earthly education, because that word learn, in verse 8, learn is a word that relates to education, as you have often said.

And you're willing to suffer like it says in verse 8. In order to obey, sometimes we have to suffer. There's some obedience that is easy. But it's the obedience in which we have to suffer that gives us a promotion.

So he learned obedience, not from everything, but from those things which he suffered. And that teaches us where obedience leads you to die to yourself. You know, there's a lot of obedience where we don't have to die.

Because you know, our temperament may be like that, and it's pretty easy. For example, bring up your children in the instruction of the Lord. You don't have to die to yourself to do that. You love to do it, because don't you want your children to grow up godly?

There's no suffering there. But there's some obedience to some commandments which involve suffering, where I have to deny myself when the spirit of God says, keep your mouth shut now. Then you have to suffer.

Or don't look in that direction, or don't watch that movie, or don't look, don't read that book. Then you have to suffer, because you have a great desire to do that. But those are the places where you learn obedience.

In all the other places, which there's no suffering, I just want to tell you, you don't learn obedience. You just do it. And you can think you're pretty godly because you're doing those things. You're not.

It's in the areas where you suffer that you really learn obedience. I mean, you see that with your children. If you tell your children, come on, eat that ice cream. Is that a great suffering for that child?

But if you tell your child, now stop playing and come inside and do your homework, that's a suffering. That's the place where his will has to be denied. To tell him to eat that ice cream, or let's go out and play, those things don't involve any suffering.

Those are not areas where a child learns obedience. And the areas in your life, if you look back where, you know, it's not difficult for you to obey God, you know, come to church on Sunday morning, there's no problem there.

That doesn't mean you're spiritual. You haven't learned any obedience by coming here on Sunday morning. He learned obedience from the things which he suffered. Please remember this. And that's why many Christians do not grow spiritually because they obey in all areas where there's no suffering.

And obey where it involves suffering, they don't learn obedience. And that's, I want to tell you honestly, please listen to me, this is the reason why many of you have never conquered anger and probably will never conquer anger in your entire life.

I don't want to say that as a prophecy, but I want to say that as a warning. Because to conquer anger, you have to suffer. To give up murmuring and complaining, you have to suffer. To give up lusting with the eyes, you have to suffer.

So, we're not learning obedience. We're coming to church, we enjoy meeting with others, coming to the conference, enjoy meeting with others. But wherever it involves a little suffering and self-denial, we withdraw.

And the result is we spend years and years and years never learning obedience, which means never getting promoted to a higher class. But Jesus learned it at every stage and thus he completed, when he says he made perfect, it means he completed his education.

And he has become the author, or it says in some translations, of eternal salvation to those who obey him. That means now he's become a teacher to those who want to obey him in times of suffering. In time of suffering, Jesus says, I'll teach you now.

Next time you're tempted to, when the Holy Spirit says, now keep your mouth shut or turn your eyes away or don't do that and don't write that letter or whatever it is, where you feel like doing something very much, you want to tell something to someone and the Holy Spirit says, no, or you want to do something, you want to go somewhere, or you don't want to deny yourself in a certain area, would you listen?

Supposing you want to go for a vacation and the Holy Spirit says, don't go, there's nothing wrong with the vacation. Jesus himself once told his disciples, come apart and rest a while. You need some rest.

God ordained one day in seven as a Sabbath. Nothing wrong in rest and relaxation. But supposing the Holy Spirit once says, no, I don't want you to go. I think a lot of believers don't even consult God about those things.

They say, I feel like going, I go. There's a lot of difference between those who really seek to bring every area of their life under God's guidance and say, Lord, I don't want to do this unless it's your will.

My time is yours, my days are yours, and those are the ones who really the Lord sees, here's a person who's determined to let every area of his life come under my control and guidance. I really got to use this young man or young woman to be my servant in the days to come.

Be one of those whom God can choose because in your private life, hidden from the eyes of others in secret areas, you give up your will and you deny yourself things which you want to do because you want to please God.

You want to do what Jesus wants you to do there. Maybe you don't spend so much money on yourself so that you can have some to give to the Lord or to others. Do you think many people think like that? They say, I have money, I can do what I like.

I earned it. It's mine. It's fine. There's no sin there, but there's a higher life, I can tell you, if you want it. And it's those who choose that higher life who really become useful to God in the church.

And if you see someone more useful to God than you are in the church, you can be pretty sure he's made some choices in areas where you made no choices or you choose to please yourself or you choose to just do what you feel like doing.

There are things like this, you know, there, this is what it means to learn obedience and concerning him we have much to say, hard to explain because you become dull of hearing. How do you become dull of hearing?

That means I don't want to hear things that are crossing my will. So I like to hear things about God that are encouraging and how God is a loving father. Those are the messages I like to hear. No matter how much you have failed, God still loves you.

When you hit rock bottom, remember that God loves you. Boy, you'll love those messages and you want to hear such messages again and again and again how he came for sinners and the prodigal son, if you're a prodigal son, he'll run to welcome you and you just long to hear such messages.

Well I want to say that that's why you remain in the condition you are because those are the only type of messages you want to hear. Those are the only type of messages you want to, that encourage you.

But scripture has got that as well as a lot of other messages that Jesus said about denying yourself and putting your flesh to death. Those are the areas where you will learn obedience because Jesus learned obedience in the areas where he suffered.

Please remember this phrase in verse six, he learned obedience not from all areas, but from the things which he suffered. He obeyed in many areas where there was no suffering, there wasn't much to learn there.

But from the things which he suffered, he learned obedience and thus he became complete. So out of a hundred areas, if there are 50 areas where you've got to suffer to learn obedience and 50 areas that are easy to obey God in, and you choose just the 50 areas all your life, I'm obeying here, I'm obeying here, I'm obeying there, well don't be surprised if you don't grow much spiritually, don't be surprised if your knowledge of God is very limited and you're always dependent on having to come to church to be stirred up or to a be stirred up and you don't know what it is like Paul told Timothy, stir yourself up.

He says, stir yourself up. That's a person who's willing to learn obedience in the things which he suffered. You know, it's like students. There are children who are very diligent. You don't have to tell them to do their homework, you don't have to tell them to do more than necessary for their classes.

I mean, there are students like that. I've seen some who've got a passion to do really well and those are the ones who, you know, get into good colleges and get a good education and press on. And I'll tell you, there are others who are just as intelligent and who are in the same school with the same teacher and the same opportunities and the same intelligence, but who do not do well because they're just lazy.

They just want to play around and play the fool and they don't want to sit down with their books and they do the minimum necessary for their classwork and okay, they have completed their homework. It's always their whole attitude is what is the minimum necessary.

I want to enjoy myself in life as much as I can. But you know, I have to do my homework, I have to go to school, I want to get a promotion, I don't want to fail. There are many Christians like that. What's the minimum necessary for me to, you know, just be a good Christian and not lose my testimony in CFC?

Well, I'm concerned about that. I'm concerned, I'll tell you honestly, I'm concerned with so many brothers and sisters sitting here. There should be such a large number of brothers and sisters here who should be godly enough to be shepherds of others.

Why is that not there? I don't know your private life, but I want to tell you that when there are things which involve suffering and self-denial in your life, you pull back. You don't choose those areas.

And so the result is you don't learn obedience at all. You're obeying in the things like eat your ice cream, go and play, oh, those areas I like to obey, children like to obey such commands, go and eat that ice cream, go and play and put on those new clothes.

Oh, I love to obey those commands. And I think many Christians like that, they're obeying. They're obeying in those areas which involve no self-denial at all. In terms of time, money, energy, well, then we don't learn obedience.

And that's the reason why he goes on to say, you become dull of hearing. That means you can't hear anymore. And when you come into the church meeting, you hear. And that's another thing I've often said.

If the only time God speaks to you is in a Sunday morning service or in a conference, this, please take it as an indication of something seriously wrong with your spiritual health. If you find when you read the scriptures yourself, God is not saying anything to your personal life.

I don't mean getting some information about knowledge about the tabernacle or information about Jesus' life. I'm not saying that. I'm talking about when you read the scriptures and you don't find God speaking to you personally, something that you got to do in your life.

You're not in a spiritually healthy condition. You may be born again, but you're not in a spiritually healthy condition. It's like a doctor saying, yeah, your child is not sick, but he's not healthy. And if he continues like that, he's going to be prone to so many sicknesses.

That's exactly what I would say to any of you who are not hearing God speaking to you through his word when you read it by yourself. In fact, the Bible says, man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from God's mouth.

And that word that Jesus quoted, by the way, I don't have time to turn to it right now, is from Deuteronomy 8, where it speaks about the giving of the manna. It's in connection with the giving of the manna to the Israelites that it says there, God gave you manna, Moses said in Deuteronomy 8, every day to teach you what?

Not just to feed you, but to teach you that man must live by every word that proceeds from God's mouth, just like the manna came from heaven every morning. So have you learned that? That every morning for survival, you need a word from God.

You know, those Israelites did not go out in the morning and pick up that manna for their family. There was no food in the desert. And if they went out a little too late, the sun would melt the manna, it would all be liquid on the ground.

You couldn't pick it up. So what would a responsible father do? Okay, the children can go to sleep. They're not going to get up, the three year old, four year old, maybe some 10 year old all sleep, but daddy and mommy can't be irresponsible like them.

They got to go out, gather enough manna for their family every day for 40 years. That was a pretty good discipline, how God made them all get up in the morning to collect a word from God. Imagine if you were one of those Israelites coming out of Egypt, very thankful that God delivered you, and you got children, and you know the only way to feed them is to go and collect manna in the morning before it gets too hot.

Boy, I tell you, you'd really get up. You wouldn't say, well, I'm so tired, I'm sleepy today, or I went to bed late last night. You would never make those excuses, even if you went to bed at two o 'clock in the morning, you'd be up there because you got to feed your family.

There's no other way to feed them. All the silly excuses that people make today, saying they're tired, there's no time to read the Bible, I forgot, and all that, would disappear if you're one of those Israelites.

Little things like this are the proof that you're serious about your Christianity, that your Christianity is not just a game and not playing the fool, and if you're not receiving like this, that's why you become dull of hearing, because you're not serious about wanting to hear God.

And you don't have to be very old, I know, I remember when I was very young, I was about 20 years, 21 years old, and I had this tremendous passion every morning to hear what God had to say to me, to read His Word and study it.

I haven't lost it after 55 years, I still have a tremendous passion to hear what is God saying to me today, even this morning, and I hope all of you will develop that. Don't become dull of hearing. And then he goes on to say, because you're dull of hearing, see what is the result in verse 12.

From Spiritual Infancy to Spiritual Teaching

By this time, and some of you have been here 20 years, 25 years, 30 years, by this time, you should have been teachers of others. You shouldn't be listeners now. You shouldn't be students alone. You should have become teachers.

You know, it's like a child who goes to school from the age of five, and by the time he's 25, you say, hey, you should have been a teacher by now. What, are you still sitting in school, 25 years old? I mean, by 18, you should have finished school.

You should be teaching. You should have been a graduate by now, probably a postgraduate by the time you're 25. We want that for our children. Don't you want that for your children? I think all of us who send our children to school and college would want them to be postgraduates by the time they're 25.

What about spiritually? By this time, you should have been teachers, but you have need for someone to teach you again the elementary principles. You like the messages of forgiveness of sins and how God loves you.

And he says, I'll never leave you, nor forsake you. And I'll provide all your needs. Don't be anxious. These are the things that encourage you. And even if you fall, get up. You can get up and walk again.

And even if you fall 1 ,000 times, God is still there 1 ,000 times to pick you up. Fine, it's all true. It's like saying CAT is cat. It's cat. DOG is dog. And you can keep listening to that. It's all true.

But when are we going to go beyond all that to something else? That's the point here. And you have come to need milk. You know, in the New Testament, milk is the message of forgiveness of sins. That's true.

We drink milk even when we're old. If you drink a cup of tea, there's milk in it. It's not that we stop drinking milk when we're older. But we're not at the baby level where we cannot eat any solid food.

You know, babies can only drink milk. And it's a real concern for a mother if a baby is six months old and can't eat solid food. Even six months. And then it says here that everyone who partakes only of milk is not accustomed to the word of righteousness.

Do you find the word of righteousness a hard message? Oh, we hear some hard things in CFC. It's like you put a piece of meat into the mouth of a two-week-old baby. It'll die. It'll choke. It can't. It'll spit it out.

Even two, three months, you put a piece of meat in there. It can't eat it. It can't bite on something. You put some nuts into that mouth, it can't bite. It can't chew it. And it's not accustomed to that.

And the baby spits it out and says, give me my milk bottle. And he's speaking about that. People who don't want to hear any hard, strong message about denying yourself and not loving the world and the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the pride of life is all of the world and you must forsake it and put it at death.

And everything on earth, there are a lot of things on earth that are lawful, but not all the lawful things are profitable. And words like, don't let any bad word come out of your mouth, but only that which will give grace to the hearers.

And words like, every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give an account in the day of judgment. You don't like to hear such things. It's like hard chunks of meat in a baby's mouth. And then you know you haven't grown.

You're not accustomed to a strong, hard word of righteousness. It means you're a babe. And I believe that all of you should really seek to ask yourself, are you like that? Do you love, I mean, think of us grown up people in terms of spiritual food.

Do you just love to drink milk all the time? Imagine if there was a dinner and it was all milk, everybody. Don't you love to eat fish and meat and different things that you have to chew a lot on and enjoy?

That's an adult. But you ask a three-month-old baby, he's not interested. So, there is a thing of getting accustomed. Accustomed means I got used to it. And I'll tell you something. There are churches where occasionally you'll hear a word of righteousness.

I mean, all these television preachers on the internet, occasionally, once in a blue moon, they will speak a word of righteousness. But here I'm speaking about people who are accustomed to the word of righteousness.

That means you're eating solid food every day. Not that once in a while you eat solid food and the rest of the time you drink milk. Every single day. Think of your diet every day in your own home. Isn't it solid food every single day, three times a day?

That's how we must get accustomed to the word of righteousness. Where the word of righteousness is what I love to have. You love to hear words like, every idle word you speak, you'll give an account of judgment.

Thank you, Lord, for that. I love that. Let your speech always be with grace. Put away all murmuring and complaining. Lord, I love that. That's what I want, every day, three times a day. Those are the words I meditate on frequently.

Frequently. I'll tell you honestly, I love solid food. Because it makes me strong. I love solid food physically, I love it spiritually. I want you to seriously think about this, my brothers and sisters, because I'm really concerned that many of us, not some of us, many of us are not getting accustomed to solid food, even though we've been here many, many years.

And that's not a good sign for the future generation. That's why I'm concerned. This is the mark of maturity. Let nobody here think you're mature, if you're not accustomed and delighted to hear the word of righteousness.

It says here in verse 14, solid food is for the mature. And one mark of maturity is through the different temptations they go through, they get a practice to train their senses to discern between good and evil.

You see, that's the difference between the tree of knowledge of good and evil and the tree of life. Let me explain that to you, which Adam had to choose between in the Garden of Eden. The tree of knowledge of good and evil was like a factual knowledge somebody gives to you, this is wrong, this is right.

Like in so many question-answer sessions, people ask, can I do this? Can I do that? Are there certain type of movies I can watch? Are there certain type of foods or drinks I can drink? These are things, you know, which our people are always wondering, how close can I go to the edge of the cliff without falling off?

Well, there's a lot of difference in that type of factual knowledge and the tree of life where I'm prompted from within. The life tells me, that's good, that's bad, it's like you put some food into your mouth and immediately the life within you says, that's bad food, that's spoiled food and you spit it out, you don't even think twice, you spit it out, that's life.

Think of a little baby, it puts mud into its mouth and just enjoys it. That's lack of discernment and that's how it is with a lot of Christians. They take things that are going to harm them spiritually, what does mud do?

Why do you clean out that mud from your baby's mouth as soon as it puts it in? Because you know it's going to harm it, it'll get sick. So when people can put things into their mind which harm them, it's exactly, think of this baby putting mud in its mouth, the next time some of you watch something pornographic, I hope you don't, but if you do, think, I'm putting mud in my mouth now and I'm enjoying it.

Well, that's true, little two-month-old babies enjoy eating mud and if you enjoy eating mud, that's where you are. I mean, I can't stop you, but at least acknowledge that you're a baby eating mud at that time.

Then at least so that you don't fool yourself that because you come to CFC, you're spiritual. When you're in your office, in your home, you're eating mud. No, your senses are not trained to discern good and evil, you need somebody to tell you.

I've used the example of, you know, when people have leprosy, they lose sensation in their hands and in their feet, then they have to be trained. People with severe leprosy, they have no sensation. They put a hand on a hot plate, feel nothing.

A hot stove, they touch it and they don't feel anything because there's no sensation there, but the hand is still burnt. It's destroyed. So people with leprosy have to be taught, when you go to a stove, check whether it's on or not.

Check whether it's hot or not. Why is it you don't need such a law? Because as soon as you touch it, your hand will immediately pull back because you've got life. See, that's the difference between the tree of life and the tree of good and evil.

God doesn't want us to live like this, like lepers who are to be told, you know, don't touch this. I've heard of people with leprosy, they wake up in the morning and a couple of their toes are eaten up by rats in the night and they didn't feel it.

Imagine having your toes eaten off by rats at night and you don't even feel it. You really got to feel sorry for these people with leprosy. But you don't need that. I mean, even if a rat touches you, you'll wake up.

But these people with leprosy don't. They wake up and they find a couple of toes are missing. Where did it go? It's all blood there. Some rat ate it off. See, this is how many believers are spiritually.

They don't have sensation when something wrong is coming into their spirit. It's like that rat is eating their body. Something wrong is coming to their spirit. They don't have any sensation. And then after some time they wake up and their life is, spiritually they are destroyed.

What happened? Well, some rat came, some demon came and ate off something of your life there and you didn't even know it because you're waiting for some teacher to tell you this is good and that is evil.

You don't have life that tells you spontaneously. So I hope you understand that God did not want us to live by the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Do you want your children to grow up 15 -20 years old and you got to still tell them good and evil, you must not eat mud, you must not eat rubbish.

No, you want them to have that sensation on their own. That's how God wants us to have a sense on our own without having to be told that is not a good TV program for you to watch. That's not a good book for you to read.

That's not a good thing for you to spend your time doing. I mean even browsing on the internet for hours and hours and hours and wasting time when you don't know the Bible. Do you hear a voice saying, listen, why don't you turn that off and read the Bible a little bit?

Do you ever hear such a voice? Have you become dull of hearing? I tell you, many Christians are dull of hearing when they are on the internet even though they don't know the scriptures. And they can spend so many hours there, not in essential work.

I mean a lot of people have to work essential work there and they may have to spend 12 hours on it. I am not talking about that. I am talking about entertainment, information. There is no end of information in the world today.

Knowledge is increasing. And people who could have become such useful brothers in this church, such useful sisters, they are still wanting to be spoon-fed. That's my concern. We need to develop our senses to discern between good and evil which will lead us to maturity so that we can help others.

Three Levels of Spiritual Growth

I want you to turn to 1 John chapter 2. In 1 John chapter 2 we read about these three levels of spiritual growth. I mentioned it briefly in the conference but it's good for you to meditate on it again.

In 1 John chapter 2 verse 12 to 14 it speaks about little children, young men and fathers. Now this is speaking about spiritually. You can be a little child and be 80 years old and be a little child spiritually.

And you can be 25 years old and a spiritual father. Honestly. You can have a sense of responsibility for others when you are 25 years old. Or you can be a lazy, laid-back person who wants to be spoon-fed spiritually even when you are 80 years old.

So when it talks about little children, young men and fathers it's not physical age. It's spiritual age. Little children are those who rejoice in the fact, verse 12, that their sins are forgiven. Great.

They are the ones who sing the song, my sins are all forgiven, I'm on my way to heaven. And that's all that matters. The other thing little children rejoice in is in verse... I've written unto you, children, because you know the Father.

Last part of verse 13. Last part of verse 13. You know the Father. I'm so happy. I've got a Father in heaven. I can sit on His lap and I know He's my daddy. It's all true. The Holy Spirit cries out, Daddy.

And we can rejoice in that. Very good. And by the way, that is something we must know even as soon as we are born again. Little children, they must know two things definitely. One, that their sins are all forgiven if they have confessed it and repented.

And secondly, that God has become their Father who cares for them. They need not be worried and anxious. But if that's all you know, you're a little child. It's good. But we don't want our little children to remain little children forever.

And God doesn't want that either. He wants us to go on from there to the next stage, stage 2. And stage 2 is young men. These are people who are zealous. And it says here in the middle of verse 13, you have overcome the evil one.

Young men are those who have learned to fight against Satan. To resist Satan. And the way they resist Satan is described in the end of verse 14. The word of God abides in you and you've overcome the evil one.

So that's the second stage. And I don't know how many of you have got there. So let's get that clearly. The first stage is, you know your sins are forgiven and you know God is your Father. And you love to hear messages where you say, well, no matter how much you've fallen, you can repent and come back to God.

He's not only the God of the second chance, He's the God of the 10 ,000th chance. You love such messages. And there's a purpose in failure. Maybe that's one of your favorite books, The Purpose of Failure.