Talk on Marriage and Courting — Keith Daniel

Marriage, Courting, and the Example of Parents

Great pleasure that we have Keith here this evening. Like I said, it was only what God could work out. I don't know how many phone calls were made to South Africa to try to arrange this but their communicator their phone systems are not like in America here a lot to be desired and I heard since we finally did get a hold of him that for six weeks his phone his fax his email.

Everything was was out of whack and he had a stack of letters of people that finally thought well they'll try, you know snail mail as a last resort and They did get a hold of him that way. So we're really grateful to have him here.

And like I said, he travels most of his life I think he when did you start preaching? When he was 22 years old and then you got married at when about 30 at 32 and Has a lovely wife at least from the sound on the phone.

I've never met her but and she really sacrifices a lot to have him gone so much and Just grateful to have you here Keith and the rest of the evening's yours. Thank you.

Thank you for the privilege of being here. I'm very grateful to God and I have come to love America. It's about American people. I Don't think I would love America if I hadn't had the privilege of coming to the godliest the godliest of the godliest across your land I've been very privileged to meet many many godly people.

And I'm very grateful for the godly people. I've met here. And I think John and Lynette and their lovely family And his dear family. I'm very very grateful for that too. If our light speaker isn't working, you're not going to see anything but lips on it.

Where is the brother that's making the mistake so we can make him feel bad? I don't know. Well, something's going wrong. Yes, it is. We may have to resort to that. Oh, it's fine now, perhaps you put it too loudly brother and it just Comped out a bit on the echo.

So not too loud I Do know how to make people feel bad brothers. I don't don't worry. Okay, and I don't mean to do it. That's why everyone forgives me. I Am very grateful to be and also not only to John and and Lynette and her lovely family.

But also to Phil and his dear wife and family and to everyone else of you that I have Had the privilege of having fellowship with. I do. Thank you that I could be brought back here. And for the I sat in the bachelors corner tonight with four men whose wives haven't forsaken them, but they're not here with them they've come from India, Indiana and I had a lovely time fellowshipping with them and thank them very much for the richness of the conversation And the way I could sense their love Christ With all their hearts.

I was saying I do love America and I honestly think I would never have wanted to come back to America if I hadn't come and met all the godly. I Have just loved this land for the godly of your land the devil might get the headlines in the newspaper of all he's doing in all his people, but God is doing great things also and God has his people in this land.

And on your knees You can bring America back to God. God waits for his people. Don't doubt that but I sense this coming a groan in the hearts of the godly. And when you hear a groan, that's when God starts moving.

And I'm beginning to hear it. For those I've been privileged to pray with across your land a groan of despair for this land to come back to God. I long I long to see your country back coming back to God and for my country.

Thank you to every one of you For coming here tonight and thank you sincerely for giving me the privilege of preaching here tonight. I wonder if we could bow in a moment of prayer If we could just bow before our God and quiet in our hearts and just trust him To visit us here tonight each one our wonderful father.

We thank thee That we could have had this lovely time of fellowship and joy sharing with each other our love for Christ and All the things Christ has done for us. We thank thee for Jesus Oh father. There is nothing we can thank thee for more than thy son.

We bless thee for I love to mankind in giving thine only begotten Son and we thank thee for his blood that was shed for us. We thank thee that by the blood of Jesus we were saved Not only from hell and damnation and condemnation But saved from a life of self we could live for Christ purpose, that's eternal.

But Only what's done for Christ will last. And so we bless thee for Jesus that there's something to live for there's something to fight for. There's something to die for. Because Christ has saved our souls.

Oh God come now in my mercy upon us. Keep us under the blood of Jesus safe from all the powers of darkness. Rebuke thou the devil thyself Lord rebuke thou him away. Take his hands off this building of this people any influence.

He has on any life. Rip his hands off God. Put him to flight. All the powers and principalities of darkness put to flight by the risen resurrected power of Christ. Come and put our enemy away Lord from this place.

Keep us sheltered under the blood of Jesus. Surround us and this whole area with the angels of God standing with swords drawn to do battle against the powers of darkness and Come thou render heavens and come by thy spirit.

Lord move upon us visit us. Take me Lord in mercy. Wash me in the blood the holy Blood of Jesus Christ. I have nothing But the blood to show thee God. There's nothing I can commend myself. There's nothing no reason I can bring to thee as to why thou shouldest come and bless through this weak man Other than the blood of Christ.

I have nothing God come wash me in that blood now God. Through and through and through that I may have the right to preach the holy word of God. Come fill me with the Spirit of God and you anoint my lips and my mind my heart my very being.

Come stand beside me in the pulpit of God. Come take every heart. Take away prejudice. Take away unbelief. Take away anger. Take away hardness. Take away blindness by the blood of Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

Take away everything that would hinder everyone sitting here tonight from hearing God's voice from Seeking God with the whole heart. Come honor and bless the service for thy glory Lord. We all ask these things in the name of Jesus the Christ.

God Savior and friend in the name of Jesus the Christ. Please answer this prayer and For his sake. Amen there are many passages in the Bible that I have Staggered over. I could take you to places that I stopped and I wasn't able to read past there for a long long time.

Until I just digested what God said my conscience wouldn't allow me to read another word. So I went over and over and over and over. Until I felt God said now you have the right to read on one of the passages.

Peter’s Teaching on Wives and Husbands

Which I think you all know and love has so much to do with. Why a marriage is honored by God and Peter the godly. Peter wrote these words in his letter first epistle of Peter chapter 3 he says likewise.

He wives he starts at the wise. I love the word likewise in the King James. When you see the word likewise you say like what? So you have to look at the chapter before to see what he starts with. And of course, he's speaking of Jesus likewise.

So looking at the passage before the verses before in chapter 2 verse 19. But this is thankworthy. Peter says. This is thankworthy if a man for conscience toward God endure grief suffering wrongfully.

What does this got to do with marriage you say? That's why he starts at the wise because they're the only ones that will accept this. Oh God has to start so often in the home with a wife. They're so precious.

Able to be molded in God's hands and able to bow and be nothing so that the home can come to God in films. Likewise, I do love that word. Brother, if this gives troubles just put it over to the other one.

So we're looking at what? Likewise like who for this is thankworthy the man for conscience toward God endured grief. Suffering wrongfully. For what glory is it when you be buffeted for your faults? He should take it patiently, but if when you do well and suffer for it and take it patiently.

This is acceptable with God for even here unto where you call because Christ also suffered for us. Leaving us an example that he should follow his steps. Who did no sin neither was guile found in his mouth when he was reviled.

Reviled not again when he suffered. He's threatened not but committed himself to him that judges righteously. I Love these words leaving us an example. That he should follow his steps. And did no sin neither was guile found in his mouth.

No reason for him to be treated wrongly. No reason. When he suffered he threatened not. He's reviled. He reviled not again. Isn't that precious? And this aspect of Christ's likeness God turns now and he says in chapter 3 likewise He was like Jesus suffered.

Not reacting not defending himself. Or if you go back to his life 53 He was just. He didn't say a word. Like a lamb at the slaughter. She before his shears is dumb. So he opened if not his mouth. There's no reaction.

There's no defense. Can God look to a woman and say I? Want this of you? My daughter likewise Weighs a lot when you know like who and What of him God wants in your life? Likewise he wise be in subjection.

I don't know if that words in the dictionary anymore. You've got to go to antique book rooms perhaps to find that it's out of our vocabulary even in the church today. People don't like to hear the word subjection.

He's living in the year 2001. Where's he coming from? Be in subjection. To your own husband's. God says to this generation you defy God. If you don't Likewise he wise be in subjection to your own husband's that if any Obey not the word they also may without the word be won By the conversation of the wise by their wives life.

That's a staggering statement. While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Who's adorning. Let it not be that outward adorning of plating the hair and of wearing of gold or putting out of apparel?

But let it be the hidden man of the heart and that which is not corruptible even the ornament of a meek and Quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. But after this manner in the old time the holy woman also Who trusted in God?

Adorned themselves Being in subjection to their own husband's even as Sarah obeyed Abraham Calling him Lord. His daughters he are as long as ye do well and not afraid of any amazement. Likewise he husbands dwell with them remain Faithful to.

Likewise he husbands dwell with them according to knowledge using your common sense. That God's given you all quickened by the Holy Spirit in its context. Well with them according to knowledge remain with them faithful to them.

Likewise he husbands dwell with them according to knowledge giving honor unto the wife. Oh, if you don't husbands you defy Christ. It's not only obeying God by thou shalt not commit adultery. Do you obey God?

For a marriage to be God glorified giving honor unto the wife. Do you? Do your children know that you honor their mother? The way you speak. Giving honor as unto the week of Esau as being heirs together the grace of life.

That your prayers be not hindered. I like that little phrase attached to marriage that your prayers Be not hindered. I think basically It's saying that if you live right if you obey God his commandments in marriage God will answer your prayers if you are what God wants you to be toward your wife.

What God wants you to be toward your husband your prayers will be answered if you obey God generally that's through the whole Bible one John 3 verse 20. Beloved if our heart condemn us God is greater than our heart and know those things beloved if our heart Condemn us not then Have we confidence toward God and whatsoever?

We ask we receive of him because we keep his commandments and do those things that are pleasing in his sight prayer is answered. When our hearts don't condemn us in the light of God's Commandments then we come to God with such a confidence and Whatsoever we ask we receive of him because we keep his commandments even the commandments concerning marriage but in its context.

There's far more to this verse. Than just that prayers will be answered if you're right with God in its context. There's so much more you see it's. Speaking of the prayers of a father and a mother a husband a wife.

Over their lifespan when they pray together it's more Praying for their children than anything else your prayers are more for your child if you're a saved man and woman. Than anything else you pray for to God is the children the greatest responsibility God places in your hands once you're married as the children and You will find that most of your prayers earnest true prayers from the heart from then onwards as husband and wife are for those children.

Over your life that your prayers be not hindered. I want to read something to you, and I want you to all listen very carefully will be hindered. When we pray for our children if we were not holy in our marriage.

When we pray for our children how much of it. When we're forced to pray for our children. How much of it is for God to undo the damage? We've done through the influences of our lives upon our children when we failed in front of them.

When we failed in our marriage things they witnessed oh. How much? Is to undo the damage our lives did in our children's lives. I'm not talking about the normal prayer, but when you're forced to pray father.

How much of it is the results of your failures? How can you expect God? To answer your prayers for your children to be holy. You pray that mother. When they leave and get married you pray that father.

Oh, they'll be holy in Christ like how can you expect God to answer your prayers for your children to be holy? And utterly Christ like if you didn't show them that it's possible through the example of your life even in marriage.

Especially in marriage that your prayers be not hindered if you don't obey God. Concerning what he wants you to be wife what he tells you to be it weighs a lot. I was in the town a while back a Lady asked to see me and I was unable to see her.

So they squeeze in this little time because she persisted she came to the home where I was staying they put me in the lounge sat with her and After a while as she sat there weeping. She spoke and said I I have a daughter who married a young man.

And he told us he was saved. He convinced us he's born of God. He's a Christian. And so he married my daughter. And there's been nothing but sorrow and now he doesn't want her anymore. He wants to divorce.

What can I do? She said what am I going to do? After a while, I said lady, could I Shock you. Could I ask you? Is it not possible that? There's two sides to the story. Is it possible that it's not altogether his fault.

You say he's not saved and you thought he was saved but he couldn't be saved if he wants to divorce your child. Is it possible that your daughter? Had something to do with that he doesn't want her. Is it possible that it's not just that he's unsaved because there's problems in the marriage.

Is it possible that your daughter? Has a lot to do with this. That he doesn't want her. It's not just him and she sat back in shock at first and. And then tears came down her face and she said these words.

It is so I didn't want to admit this but it's her fault. But the worst part sir Is I'm to blame you see I was not the example. I should have been in the home to my daughter. How a wife should be how a Christian wife should be.

I Treated her husband as I treated mine. And I only know now how unhappy my husband must have been. He had grace To throw me out. It's my fault sir. I Gave her the wrong example of what a mother should be what a wife should be.

She's just as I was. She's just being what her mother was in marriage. Now that shocked me what that woman said. That your prayers be not hindered when it comes to your children's marriage is collapsing.

Tell me is she like you? Is she like you lady what you showed her? The example. That your prayers be not hindered. If you couldn't prove it to them in your life. Whoa. How hindered your prayers are going to be?

For them to live the life that you couldn't prove to them's possible in marriage. I was in a town where there was this godly woman and All what a woman of God she was she stood out as a sore thumb amongst all God's people.

Years went by years and years and years and I returned to that town. Her little children had grown up. They had children of their own. And this godly woman was old now. I Stayed in the home of her daughter while I was preaching in the same town now some 28 years later and they brought the old Godly woman down for one meal and after the meal when she left I said to the daughter.

You know your mother staggered me when I was in this town many years ago her life. Her Christ likeness her gentleness. It's like she has no ability to be unkind. There's nothing but kindness. Flowing out of her to no matter who has been spoken of no matter who does wrong.

There's just this inability to say an unkind word about anyone and I said, oh her life is an impact even more now and Her daughter said to me you don't know the half sir. My father was not a good man.

My father was like an animal. My father was like a monster. We worked the way he treated my mother when we were girls there came a day I Grabbed my mother and screamed. Let's get out of the house. God doesn't want this of you.

Mommy. Let's get away from him. God doesn't expect you to live like this. And our mother looked at me and my sister and said no. When I said to God to death us to part. For better or worse. I meant it.

And my girls I'm not leaving your father. I'm gonna win into God. Your father's not a psychopath. I would be the first to flee with you. He's just unsaved. He just needs God to save his soul. That's what I'm praying for daily through my life.

But listen girls and listen carefully your father Will stand before God one day. I will never stand before God to give account of anything your father did or said in his home. He will give account to God though.

He will have to give account to God, but I will never have to give account to God for anything your father's done. But I will have to give account to God for how I reacted to your father's wrong. I Will have to give account to God.

For what I said and how I reacted to anything. He did. I will have to give account. And I don't want to have to give account to God. For any word I uttered no matter what your father said or did and this lady said to me, you know, Keith my Father did come to God through my mother's life.

He had to. In the end we never saw her fail God once in 53 years of marriage before he died. We as girls never saw our mother once fail God who was not utterly Christlike. And then she said these words now.

We have husbands they're saved. But they're human and they fail but before we react. When our husbands fail We remember our mother's life and we remember her life before we speak in our husband's fail.

You see our mother lived a life proving to us. That God gives all the grace you need and no matter what your husband does you can still be Christlike. You don't need to fail because your husband fails.

We're very careful how we react to our husband's failures because of what we saw in our mother's life proving to us. Through the example of her life through the example of what we saw in her life. When I courted my wife I Had a few socks, you know.

One day want to write a book on all that but one of the first socks was my future father-in-law. He's a preacher he's a farmer. But he's known throughout our country as a preacher. He's one of the most loved preachers of the land.

He sits on the tractor working up the sermons. For the next sermon he is to preach and all Thousands and thousands across our land just walk with God through his ministry and the impact of his life and preaching the very loved man.

Well, when he saw me looking at Jenny I Think he got the fright of his life. He started preaching at me, you know. And he never stopped to this day when I see my father-in-law. I just started to sit down and say preach.

Making sure nothing goes wrong in this marriage. So he just has sermons and does he let me have it. All I see from my father-in-law's sermons just flowing at me. You know that he's worked out to keep me true anyway when I finally Had the courage to sit down and ask him.

Can I court Jenny? He sat back and he took the smile of his face and He looked at me and thought for a while. I began to tremble because I didn't think it was going to be quietness. And then he said Keith.

I want you to do me a favor. I want you to have a good look at Jenny's mommy. I want you to have a long look at my wife my boy how she speaks at her values her reactions. I Want you to look at my wife Jenny's mommy that is what you will have in 20 years time.

Is that what you want? Will you be happy with that? Don't doubt it Keith and I don't want you to answer fast. I want you to think about it and I said back and I was shocked at that. And then I said I think it's wonderful.

I Think your wife is wonderful, sir. And you look happy. So he laughed. He really loved and he gave me permission to court Jenny. Tell me something. Can I ask all you ladies here? Are you happy? Are you happy with that if that is true?

Your daughter will be like you in her marriage the way you speak to your husband the way you treat him. Where you conduct yourself in marriage and in that home. Are you happy with that. What she sees in you know.

She's going to be that. I wonder if I could ask all you ladies if you could just answer God on that right now. Are you? Happy with that. Will you please answer God. I really mean that my daughter is going to be like me in her marriage.

Oh, by the way, 20 years have passed. Jenny's daddy was right. She's just like her mother in so many ways, it's uncanny. He was right. Proverbs 30 verse 21 a Shocking statement from the Bible. Listen four things.

The world cannot bear. What did you say? That is four things. God says the world cannot bear. God says. Well, I won't tell you three of them, but I'll tell you this one and this is a shocking statement.

Verse 23 an odious woman. When she is married. Difficult to explain what the word odious means, but it has a lot of meaning. I Would say the closest you can come to strong-willed. Difficult. Self-willed.

Difficult. The world cannot bear such a woman when she is married. God sees God sees John Wesley. One of the greatest soul winners in the history of the world many say the greatest soul winners when in the history of our church.

Wesley never could be discouraged. That was one of the most remarkable things about him. They stoned him. Wonderful things that happened, you know, they 50 men punching they all Called he was so short.

They missed him. They knocked each other up. Tragic incidents that happened, but they they ran him out of the town. They threw him over a cliff. He just flew through the air, you know, they left him for dead.

They threw stones on this man. Even the King of England had a step in to stop and say this has to stop. This treatment of Wesley and his followers this cannot go on all the stoning and. Well, the King stepped in.

Started to slow down, but nothing discouraged Wesley. They say he got up and he laughed and he walked back into the Southland. Nothing could discourage him. Nothing could just make him despondent. I wish I could be like that.

One thing. Only one thing. Brought Wesley to despair in his godliness. You know what that was? His wife no one judged him. It wasn't his choice of marriage. The only thing that drove that man. One of the godliest men that ever lived that no one would ever put a question mark on his testimony.

It was walk with God. Was his wife was not godly. Was not Christ. Tell me are you a Sarah? Ladies are you like Sarah. The only example God gives in this whole passage about marriage is a woman the one woman he mentioned Sarah.

Are you like Sarah in God's eyes and man's eyes in your marriage? Or are you like the woman that God says the earth cannot bear once she's married cannot bear. What happens when she's married? God says.

What are you like? Quite a Question to ask you you're all Christians here tonight. David's wife despised them. He was a man after God's own heart, you know. It's possible that a man after God's own heart can have a wife that hates him.

God says, you know, that's possible. She despised him as he danced after the great victory. Wasn't the dance that made her just it was despising in her heart, of course, it was the influence of her father.

Not everybody has the cross to bear of having a father-in-law like Saul or David. Saul just lived to destroy David. I wonder if I can just speak for a moment here to fathers and mothers-in-law broadness out a bit.

Tell me do you live? To destroy us, you know, how many Christian marriages are destroyed by the in-laws. Interfering you may not throw a spear at him, but there are other spears to throw, you know words unkind words undermining him.

I Can take you in America to Christian homes? Where the in-laws were the reason the marriage ended in divorce. They so hated their son-in-law. Mainly because he was going through with God all the way tragic.

Just for a moment. I just hope there's no souls here tonight. How do you treat your David? It's possible to your husband for many reasons for many reasons. I Was once in a convention preaching and this man and lady came over to sit with me while we're having a meal.

And they were talking about God all the things of the things of God the church. The state of the church the things of the convention just on a spiritual level. I haven't seen them for many years and this little girl ran up pretty little girly and She looked at me standing with her mommy and daddy and they said this is our daughter and I said Oh my the last time I saw you you were a little baby in your mommy's arms.

So the mommy said this is the man who's preached standing preaching and telling us how to live right with God. This little girl looked at me she looked at her mommy and daddy for a while and we just stood there looking at her.

She said preacher my mommy and daddy always fight. Well, I looked Through the corner of my eye at mommy and daddy and their mouths fell open. They always fight. My mommy every night cries and weeps and weeps and cries and daddy screams and mommy screams.

You must speak to them, but I looked at the little girl, you know I could have been cruel and turn and rebuke that mother and father, but I I was also in a test. You have no right to ever be cruel. Who failed?

So I prayed. And I said little girly you are so beautiful. I'm sure your mommy and daddy love you so much and I know God loves you mommy and daddy. I Know that they love him. And I know they want Him to have his way in their life, and I know God is going to help them to be happy.

You know, I got up and walked away. I didn't talk to them. Rather than to confront them who's to blame in a Christian marriage. Where there's just Fighting all the time. You may say it doesn't happen.

It does happen. It does happen it happens so much it's unbelievable because you're a Christian doesn't mean you say you're gonna have a happy marriage. Oh No, no, I Want to ask every one of you here tonight?

How is your marriage in the light of God's Word where Does love turn to hate in a Christian marriage, why does love Leave a Christian marriage. Who's to blame. When the sweetness turns to sour when I was a little boy, I Was unsaved so was my parents and my parents had friends beautiful lady.

They would always have time of socializing together with this Other married couple but what was so different about this married couple was the way they spoke to each other. They were very much in love.

They called each other by these wonderful names, you know sweetness and dewdrop and sunshine and honey pie and all sorts of amazing Extreme statements of their love to each other, but it was always these lovely names flowing, you know, and of course mommy and daddy couldn't Resist the temptation to joke a little bit about it at home sweetness and honey pie.

Rainbow that's the other one rainbow. Wow. They were in love. Anyway, the years went by and one day daddy came home and said, you know something's going wrong with at home I'm worried. So mommy says why so daddy says it's the same words, but there's a different tone.

He says she says weakness, you know Jew drop and Wow. That is a bit flabbergasting, isn't it that words like that can just through the change of tone change meaning. But I'd like to ask everyone here tonight, and I want to ask you very very carefully.

Has the tone changed in the way you speak to your wife, sir? Has the tenderness gone in the way you speak to your husband lady your Christians? You say you serve God do you still love your wife's? Do you still speak with such tenderness?

I want you to be utterly honest there now I was in a German's home German a very different I suppose coming from Mennonite background. You might have a lot of German background here, but this German man Really was something different.

We sat at the table eating a meal with him and his wife Martha was her name means auntie in our country in our language and He would speak you know he was saying she was saying but he was older and he would speak about all the different preachers that he knew from the movement that I came from in the years that had gone by and The things that have happened and after a long time of him speaking suddenly Tom Martha decided just to say something.

And this German man sat back and his eyes went just a little statement she did to make. So I looked at him and You know he sort of like just undermined what she says is that she got the wrong side of it.

So he carried on speaking and after a while she dared to say something and he said. So I got a bit uncomfortable, you know. After a while anything she said well, I think the third time was the worst. And I said then thought can't she say anything can't she say anything.

There must have been a time there was tenderness in that man to all that. It must have been a time when she was able to be a human. Her opinion meant a lot to him. There must have been a moment where her Conversation was not buried when she opened her mouth as nothing.

How does it happen in a Christian home. That even your wife's opinion becomes something that makes you get irritated. Where did the tenderness when did the tone change? In the way you spoke to her in the way you spoke to him lady.

That's an extreme case. Tell me does your wife. Do you give her a chance to be a person anymore? Her opinion do you honor your wife sir? Anymore does she know she's honored to the people who walk into your home.

No, she's honored. You know, I can tell you how holy a man is by the way, he speaks to his wife. Don't doubt that now. I guarantee you I can tell you how holy a man is. By the way, he speaks to his wife full stop.

I don't need anything else and God knows. How many things and incidents happened to make me convinced of the statement? I'm making now is the truth. How holy are you sir? We'll just look at how you speak to your wife.

That's how holy you are. We'll stop. Don't doubt it. Don't doubt it. Doesn't work in the home. It doesn't work anywhere if she's on Christ like and You run Christ like that doesn't mean that you are right with God.

When I thought of uncle when he said his name with fund Martha Paul says I suffer not a woman to speak in the church, you know, I Forbid for a woman to let her keep silence in the church, but I think many men take it.