Revival in the Home — Tom Allen

Thank you so much for that beautiful music brother. Now I feel a little bit like the Egyptian mummy tonight. I'm pressed for time. Not that. Not that I haven't been put on in time, but there's so much ground to cover.

And I want to trust the Lord that we'll be able to do it in the wisdom of the Holy Spirit. I'd like you to turn in your Bibles to Ephesians 5. And while you're turning there, I'll just say a word of thank you to my host and hostess Della and Homer have done this for the second year in a row now, and they've always had to put up with at least one of my children and They've just been so kind and helped when I needed some time away to minister to my Eldest daughter and they've just been so very kind and I appreciate that.

And my thanks again to the Soterra twins for letting me be a part again of this wonderful weekend, I heard the announcement about next year and Wonder what we're all going to do with that weekend. Itself it's going to be interesting.

Spirit-Filled Revival in the Home

Ephesians chapter 5 verse 17. Wherefore don't be unwise but understanding what the will of the Lord is. Now, what's God's will? Verse 18 Don't be drunk with wine. We're in his excess. But and the best translations here would say be being filled with the Spirit.

What a tremendous verse a revival verse and one that must precede. All that Paul has to say about the family in the home is as if he's saying apart from the continuous filling of the Spirit. There's no hope for us at home.

Then he goes on in verse 21. Some of the men would like to skip that and get into 22. But 21 submitting yourselves to one another in the fear of God and what an important prerequisite that is to verse 22 and 25.

And then wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. Verse 25 husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it and Then over in chapter 6 in verse 4 You fathers don't provoke your children to wrath rather Bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord.

Dear Lord Jesus Minister this truth to our hearts tonight. We believe we've already heard about revival in the home just from these wonderful testimonies and Lord capitalize now on all the things that you've been trying to say to us this weekend.

I Realize that this isn't the big service. Lord, there have been a lot of big services here some in very small groups where the Spirit of God has been brooding and. And it's my privilege tonight to reap what many others have sown throughout this weekend and so Lord we would turn our eyes away from all of your servants who have ministered this weekend and Give the glory to Jesus Christ ahead of time.

For yet another work of his spirit tonight in Jesus name. Amen, I've had the wonderful privilege of being raised in a Christian family with nine brothers and sisters. My five sisters are Peggy Patty Polly Pammy and penny affectionately referred to as the five sweet peas.

By my father. My brothers are Bill John Jim and Tim and I'm the youngest son number eight in the litter. My Father's often been asked by other minister friends. Why such a large family. And of course his reply was always based on Genesis 128 Multiply and replenish the earth and one of his preacher friends said yes, but God didn't tell you and your wife to do it all by yourselves.

Mother got on a bus one time with all ten of us and the bus driver said ma 'am are these all your children. Or is this some Sunday school picnic? My mother said. They're all mine. Believe me. It ain't no picnic I She'd like a dime for every time that story's been told believe me.

But you know, I'm happy to report to you this evening that everyone in our family is living for the Lord Jesus today and Several of us are involved involved in full-time ministry. Mom, I ought to have you stand.

They haven't seen you yet from the front. Would you just stand for a brief moment? And I want to draw upon my Experience both as a son and a father to speak to you tonight. That's what may be unique about what you're going to hear.

So often you hear subject like this addressed by someone who has raised the family successfully. Written books on the subject perhaps but I'm going to come at this from a totally different angle this evening the viewpoint of the son and Then just slightly the viewpoint of the young father.

So I trust that God will use this in a very special way. To meet needs this evening now. I want to go to directions. I want to talk first in the first part of my message tonight on a revival of love that we need and Then in the second part of the message on a revival of leadership that we need in the family.

Christlike Love Between Husbands and Wives

So revival of love will have a couple sub points under that and revival of leadership with two under that to consider. First of all this revival of love the revival first of partner love. Will consider parent love in just a moment, but first the revival of partner love.

Perhaps you heard about the wife who complained to her husband. You just don't tell me you love me anymore. And he replied now dear don't worry. I told you I loved you and we got married and if I change my mind I'll let you know.

You know. Unfortunately, that's about the amount of expression of love in many many Christian marriages. The Apostle Paul gives a clear word from the Lord for both partners in a marriage to the husband.

He says love your wife as Christ loved the church to the wife. He says submit yourself unto your husband as under the Lord. Now both of these I believe will lead to a revival of partner love. Husband love your wife as Christ loved the church.

This is a stunning statement. What does Paul mean by this? Well, I believe an examination of the love of Jesus for his church will point us in the way Jesus first loved his church selflessly. In the garden, he prays not my will but thine be done.

Selfless love and how many selfish husbands there are in this world today many of them in the church. The modern-day view of being a leader in your family is. The man propped up in his lazy boy chair with a coke in one hand bag of potato chips in the other.

Barking out orders as to what channel he wants the television turned to. He's mr. Leader. You see he's the top dog. He's in charge. And how far removed that is from the servant role. Where Jesus said whoever will be the greatest whoever wants to be on top let him serve.

Our Lord expressed his love not only selflessly but Sacrificially we're told in Hebrews. He put away sin, but the sacrifice of himself. Are you sacrificing anything for your wife, sir? Anything practical at all whether it be some time at the office.

You didn't really have to be there. And then Christ loved his church unconditionally. While we were yet sinners Christ died for the ungodly likes of each of us. Some fellows say well, she submits our love.

You know what Jesus would say about that rather sarcastically I might add. Even the publicans do that. Do you love those who love you? What reward have you got says Jesus? Oh. It's such a higher form of love to which the Christian husband is called.

And the Lord Jesus demonstrated his love for the body of Christ through submission in Pilate's judgment hall. Jesus says no man takes my life from me. I lay it down of myself. He submitted himself to the authorities.

Someone has said a submissive husband is one who puts his wife's needs before his own. That is a challenging definition. Notice in Ephesians 5 that verse 21 precedes verse 22. It must in real life as well.

So it's a high and holy kind of love to which the husband has been called and every Christian husband has to come to the place where he realizes the impossibility of fulfilling this command through human strength and ability.

No, man get this. No man has ever loved his wife selflessly sacrificially unconditionally and submissively. Through his own virtue. It's never happened. The only possible way to love is Christ loved is to allow Christ himself.

To do the loving through us Christ in me the hope of a glorious partnership. If you don't know you're truly born again here this evening. I Want to say to you this is your starting point. And there may be some husband like that here tonight.

Only Jesus can love through you. In the way a wife is to be loved. Now this Christlike love of the husband for the wife is central to the structure of the home. It could be compared to gears in a machine as.

The main flywheel is operating smoothly all the other gears know how to cog in together. To produce the desired result at the end of a machine. That's how it is with the husband. The loving husband inspires a submissive loving wife and these parents together.

Stimulate obedience in the children. The world in which we live suggests that mom is the love center. But what a direct contradiction. To scriptures plan. Oh, do you love your wife tonight as Christ loved the church?

Will you surrender to his power and control would you admit tonight? Oh God, I'm unable to fulfill this command. That's a humbling thing to admit and we men are so proud. We want to think we're good lovers.

Oh, I can love her if I just try harder. No. It's not trying harder. It's trusting in Christ to do something in me. I cannot do for myself. Maybe some husbands in the audience ought to ask forgiveness to that dear wife for failure in this area.

Wife submit yourself to your husband as unto the Lord. That's the word that will bring revival to the partner. Love on the wife side. Now Petra stole my thunder with his joke. I Have one with the same exact punchline.

It's just different characters in the story. So review that in your mind now laugh one more time. And I'll get on with it. But there's a scriptural principle to focus on in Ephesians 5 22 it says as Unto the Lord and you see this refers to the submission of every Christian to the leadership of Jesus Christ.

In the same way Paul commands every wife to practice this same Subjection in relation to the human head of the family the husband. This is not to imply the husband's better or smarter as Persons men and women stand before God in absolute equality.

Paul says there is neither male nor female in Christ. Persons. Yes, absolutely equal. Where's the difference? Oh, it becomes clear in the area of function. God has ordained that the man. Function in the role of the leader and the woman is to lovingly follow that lead.

Now the husband at times may be a dumb head or a fat head. Or a slow head, but he's still the head. You see that's what the Bible teaches. One of the most loving gestures a wife can make is to allow room for her husband to make mistakes.

I've seen that as every child has that look on my mother's face. When we all knew dad was wrong. He hadn't found out about it yet, and I always thought that was so funny until it started happening to me.

Even the laundry it gets that smile on her face. Huh? Oh many times the man has to eat humble pie and say the wife was right. But oh how there has to be that freedom to make a mistake. The freedom to lead and to direct as God Would lead.

I've counseled several young couples before the wedding and I always ask this question. What if you both prayed about something and you disagree as to what you think God is telling you. How often they look at me with those dreamy eyes and say oh.

We believe God will give us unity in every decision. Well that God may want to. But marriage doesn't work that way not in this world and in this body and. And the provision God has wisely made for disagreement in the home is simple.

The husband is to make that final decision and then live with the consequences. That's not always easy. That's not always pleasant, but it's scriptural. Please understand that tonight. The working mother and wife must be careful.

Often the job and the personal income served to create an attitude of independence. When God's plan for marriage is interdependence and Woe be to that man who comes home with the attitude. I earned the money around here.

Listen if you paid your wife For the time of those dear children. It couldn't be calculated. Are you demonstrating real love for your husband ma 'am? The practical evidence will be found not only in the attitude, but the action of Submission.

This is the revival of partner love we need. The husband loving his wife as Christ loved the church. The wife submitting to the husband as the church is subject to Christ. Now under this same heading of a revival of love.

Parental Love, Discipline, and Righteousness

We ought to look at parent love. We need a revival of parents love. A Wealth of wisdom is found in that one verse Ephesians 6 for you dads. Don't provoke your children to wrath but bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord.

Here the Apostle pinpoints two extreme viewpoints on love and I want to say to you they will Devastate children rather than develop them in righteousness. One extreme we could call over pampering. Some parents feel that love is only gentle and kind.

Children don't need to be corrected. Just let them express themselves Themselves. Well, that sounds like dr. Spook Spock. Pardon me. But God's Word teaches us that we're to raise children in the nurture.

That is the whipping and the admonition that is the warning of the Lord. Our sons and daughters simply must have a good hard Spanking when necessary. That's what the Word teaches. I Always took Proverbs 1918 to be my dad's life verse.

Chasing my son while there is hope and let not your soul spare for his crying. Notice this verse begins with you fathers. Uh-oh. Not only is dad to be the love center of the home, but also what the leader in discipline.

Many fathers let the mother do all the nagging and the hand slapping. Dear old dad sits quietly and casually by. Just waiting to bail out a child. Who's in trouble with mom? Well, the kids love it because it usually leads to no punishment at all.

Remember a father in Tennessee and Doris and revival team. Would remember this particular church and maybe even this particular testimony of a man I stayed with. He said to me Tom. My kids are growing up.

I wanted to be the popular parent. I was dear old dad. You know the kids could come to me when mom was being mean and dear old dad would get him out of the trouble every time. She did all the nagging and the correcting.

She said he said to me, you know Tom my kids are teenagers now and with tears in his eyes. He said guess who they don't have a minute for. I Said dear old dad. He said that's right. He said they don't have any respect for me, but oh how they love their mother.

Thought to myself what a tremendous way for God to underline this principle in the word. Oh you fathers. Take the leadership in this sometimes because dad's away mom must step into his role of Disciplinarian.

It's unwise for mother to always be threatening as we hear so many these days you wait till your father gets home. Oh No. I remember a time when my brother Tim was cutting up and dad was away preaching and of course I never did when he was away, but If you believe that I've got some land just south of Fort Myers, I'd like to show you afterwards be glad to sell it but Tim was cutting up and mom had to get out one of those little paddles.

Some of you remember they used to have the rubber ball the rubber band on them. I Saw one of those late. I think there's a revival of those crazy things. They're coming back. But She took after Tim of that thing and he's kind of got elephants hide.

He's always been a little big for his age and she cracked him and then broke the thing. Big old Tim put his arm around mom. She was crying away. Oh mom. It's alright. It's funny he never did that when dad punished him but The point we're making tonight friends is that genuine parental love is not over pampering.

But get this the other extreme and the devil is the master of extremes. He tries to get us going one way or the other. It's this over punishing. Paul says don't provoke your children to wrath and Some parents are constantly nagging constantly punishing the children.

They can always point out the things that are wrong while neglecting when the child does something, right? The attitude is is they silently stand by. Well, it's about time you got it, right? This pitiful style of parenting not only destroys a self-image.

But it works in the reverse direction to produce rebellion. You see the parent who is forever whipping rebellion out of his child Will only double his chances for producing a rebel. Oh our children need a balance in this area.

I asked you tonight. When's the last time you said that's a great job. You did it, right? Good work, son. I'm thankful. I heard that often growing up so the scripture indicates the all-important factor in the midst of this revival of parent love is Motivation all that the discipline would be properly motivated.

Hebrews 12 has a powerful passage on this. Starting there with verse 6 it talks about how God disciplines those he loves and he punishes everyone he accepts. You say what should my motive be in punishing the children?

So the kids will look good at church and everybody will say Oh brother. You have such a lovely family. That's so carnal. No, what's the motivation. It's much deeper than that it's love. God Disciplines those he loves and that's where the parents should follow.

So many times our motive is selfishness or impatience or an uncontrolled temper. In verse 9, we're told we've all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for that. I Know my daughters respect me because I've spanked them when they needed it.

I Have tremendous respect for my own parents for the same reason. Verse 10 our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best, but duh, but God disciplines us for our good. What does that verse say to mom and dad tonight?

It says parents make mistakes and all the young people said Bless your hearts. Mm-hmm I'm in trouble now. Parents make mistakes. Imagine the family of 10 when a group scandal was on. Sometimes you whip the wrong kid.

You think we were overflowing with honesty? When they were trying to pin down who did it, huh? My sister Pat is From a generation that I'm not allowed to talk about because it would tell her age. She's getting sensitive these days.

She's in the neighborhood of 30, but it's a big neighborhood and. But this is the time when all the makeup so everything was just flooding the market and bright red this and boy Dad was against it more recently feels that the barn needs painting you pot our penis, but Back in those days.

He was against it. And mom and the girls had a shootout against dad and he kind of lost. And he wasn't gonna be outdone. No, sir. He stuck his head in the door as Pat was getting ready that night. Have a nice time on the date Jezebel glad we're in a revival audience.

You can all relate to that. Nobody here is shocked that a preacher might talk like that. But you know something there was a difference that night. Because something I've watched my father practice through the years is humility when it was necessary and God got a hold of his heart.

The devil was saying all don't you dare admit to her that that was a bad thing to say if you do that the respect Will go down the tubes. You're mr. Right. You've got to maintain that whole mentality in your children's thinking.

And God was saying humble yourself and let me see to it that you're lifted up. You worry about the humbling. I'll take care of the exaltation. Well, thank God he listened to the Lord's voice that night and his Pat came in from that date.

He asked her into the living room and they knelt together and he asked her to forgive him and to pray for him. And as Pat would tell this story she would tell you tonight. That's when God impressed upon her heart the spiritual depth of Her father just the exact opposite of what the devil had said.

He didn't lose respect in those young eyes. It was rather catapulted oh I say especially to dads. I think we've got more trouble with pride some reason men. It's just this macho image today and we've got to be mr. Right as Don Godfrey talks about listen to me.

You take care of the humbling. God says I'll take care of the exaltation it works. That's a scriptural principle that works. Glory to God. Verse 11 no discipline seems pleasant but painful but it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace.

Oh, do you see it if love is the motive? What's the goal of all punishment? Righteousness and peace. That's the opposite of the way. So many young people are living today in rebellion and Unrighteousness.

Oh, wouldn't you want those two qualities in your children? Righteousness and peace. That's the motivation that's the goal. It's not easy to discipline children in a loving and consistent manner, but I say to you the the rewards are marvelous.

Spiritual Giants as Models for Children

All five of us boys slept in the attic on Brinker off Avenue. It was a nice attic it was hot in the summer and cold in the winter. But besides that it was nice and wood paneled and We had four single beds and one double bed and the double bed was for King Tut the oldest son.

And by the time I edged my way along there everybody else was in college and it didn't matter but It was a famous place and one of these days and when I get back in that area I just want to go in the house again and see it after telling this story so many times.

But we're playing trampolines on the bed one night your kids don't have anything to do with that but Dad came to the door. He said boys. I want to quiet up there. But we knew the voice of our father. Rarely did he speak twice on anything?

Related to discipline. But this is one of those special nights. Signed to One giggle led to another and another and before long there was some noise going on again. And dad came to the door the second time boys.

I said quiet up there. Now about this time the oldest brother He's serious. We're gonna get it Shut up. Well that lasted for about a half hour and it didn't take much the third time, but dad came to the door a Third time and didn't say a word.

Two very familiar sounds took over. However One was the sound of his belt escaping loop by loop snap snap snap snap snap. Oh. That's a vivid sound tonight. What a memory. The other was the sound of his rather large shoes coming up the stairs.

And we knew it was dad and he turned the light on and he called my four brothers to kneel alongside one of the beds. And it wasn't for a prayer meeting. We could have hoped. It was for a board meeting.

And I was laying over in my bed playing possum, you know. Laying there in the funeral position and Dad knew me too. Well, and he didn't lay a hand on anybody. He just went over stood at the end of my bed.

Hands behind his back. He stared at me. I was preaching in Canada and Presbyterian Church in Ontario Several years ago and I got to this point in the illustration. I said he stared at me and a little boy on the front row went oh.

And that's just how the Presbyterians reacted first time in their history, but Finally I looked up with one eye and sort of smiled and Got up and joined the rest of them now the nice thing about this was when a group scandal was on you see whipped according to the age and Sometimes by the time he got to me.

He was too whipped to whip but as I recall he had a real spurt of energy that night and He got us all a good one and he went back downstairs and we wept and wailed for a while. We had something to weep about and he came back up again.

I suppose it was 20 or 25 minutes later. Turned the light on again, and he asked us to all gather on a central bed there. I remember it's kind of hard to sit. He said boys Said I want you to know why I just did what I did.

If you'll learn to listen to my voice when I speak to you is your earthly father. Someday your heavenly father is going to speak to you. And you're gonna find it a whole lot easier to listen to him and you know something.

It's much more important someday that you listen to him even than me. But for now, if you won't listen to me that you can see. You'll not listen to him who you cannot see. They went around the circle bill.

I love you John. I love you Jim. I love you Tim. I love you Tom. I love you. He prayed with us and he went back downstairs. And I say to every parent in the audience this evening Oh please. Don't think that you can be raised in a balance of this kind of love and discipline and then grow up and hate your parents.

Grow up and rebel against their values in the home. No, you can only say God make me like them. Give me that balance in my life as a parent. And oh, I want to raise my daughters to Love and respect me as much as I admire my own parents.

This is the revival of love. We need not just partner love, but parent love. Now consider with me. The revival we need in the area of leadership. And under this heading two very brief things that I want to say.

First we need a revival of spiritual Giants and that's going to lead to what I want to say about spiritual genetics. We need a revival of spiritual Giants in the home. Now all of us would do well to know to our children regard as their heroes you see this is the generation of young people who have idolized the rogues of rock and roll and the hollow heroes of Hollywood.

It would appear that the degree of popularity of any given music or movie star these days is Directly related to the degree of moral decadence little shame more fame. So the rock star Madonna appears in Playboy and penthouse magazines and Everybody involved with her promotion says this will do wonders for our album sales.

Christian young people have been so overexposed to the sinful superstars of this world. That the concept of spiritual Giants seems strange. It seems irrelevant to this generation. By the time our youth enter the teen years many of them have sold out to the wrong heroes.

Parental scriptural value systems no longer are a controlling factor in their life. Sad verse in first Samuel 8 3 is descriptive of many Christian homes today. It says Samuel's sons did not walk in his ways.

They turned aside after dishonest gain. They accepted bribes. They perverted justice. Perhaps the most important question we can ask in this context tonight is this. Why have our children chose the wrong heroes.

I Believe the answer is this the church in general parents in particular Have failed to provide exciting models of the abundant Christian life. I Say it again. The church in general and parents in particular have failed to provide exciting models of the abundant Christian life.

This is the message of revival. That God can so touch a parent's heart that it will sift down to the children. They'll see the change in mom and dad. Oh Where are the spiritual Giants? Where are those parents who by their lifestyle? Will call their young people from apathy and mediocrity to the jaw and challenge of full surrender.

We simply must have a revival of spiritual Giants. It's God's perfect will that every child be able to find in his parents those virtues those values. That will guide them in the path of righteousness.

The home and the family are the most powerful forces on earth. For shaping the will and the value system. And I had God planned it that way. At church and at school sure children hear about the life. We are supposed to live.

But at home the children see our lives. They cannot speak for the way the pastor practices what he preaches. But they're watching mom and dad seven days a week 52 weeks a year. Do you see how this completely destroys the age-old theory?

Well, if I just get him to church regularly, they'll probably turn out. All right. No Thousand knows the Bible says to each parent train your children in your family life every day. In a way that pleases God and they'll grow up to continue pleasing God.

That's what the Bible teaches. How can parents become the spiritual Giants that God would have them be? Quickly consider these things. First parents need to be respectable in their daily life contrary to popular opinion.

Respect is earned as well as deserved and expected. As John Hausman would say for Smith Barney you get respect in the family the old-fashioned way you earn it. Many parents lose the respect of their children because of pride.

We've heard illustrations of that and testimonies of that. When's the last time you said those three words? I am wrong. Oh dear friends as far as I'm concerned those three words are as important as the other big three in marriage.

I Love you. I Think they're on equal par. Dear evangelist friend of mine used to say He's gone on to be with the Lord now. But he used to say if you haven't said you were wrong about anything in the last two weeks.

Husband. You got some making up to do. He figured two weeks about the time it would take. And many of us would be less than that. Whole young people don't respect parents who are hypocritical. You see passion for missions can't mix with a passion for materialism.

Our children are quick to discern the difference between. Talk about total commitment and the time in front of television, especially Sunday and Wednesday nights. Oh. They're sharp on that. Many teenagers have spoken to me about how their parents are so sweet on Sunday and sour on Monday.

Evidence of hypocrisy, so how God wants parents to rise above to become true spiritual Giants. Consistent men and women of God who walk what they talk. Second parents need to be radical in their dedication.

How can I be a spiritual giant to my children? Radical in your dedication not just respectable in your daily life. Oh. I'm thankful to be raised in a home where I often heard the name of Jesus Christ.

It wasn't a Sunday word. Christ was an integral part of our family life and conversation. I Grew up in the atmosphere of Jesus love and presence. Was blessed the other day. I was swinging my oldest daughter Andrea.

She said daddy I just love Jesus. Because he died for me. Recently, she told us she wants to be a missionary cheerleader. Bless her heart. I said why honey? She said. Because I want to tell people that Jesus loves them, too.

What a blessing it is to me as a father. I want to ask you tonight. Would your children say you seek first the kingdom of God? Do they see that radical commitment to Jesus Christ in your lifestyle and daily conversation?

Believe me. I've talked a lot with my little daughters about why daddy has to go away so much. Little Mandy can almost guess ahead of me now. She says you're going to preach for Jesus and I try to balance it.

God's helping me. I'm trying to find that important balance that needs to be there and I know it can be overdone. God's helping me. But all they need to see that radical commitment. Third parents need to be relevant in their discipleship.

This is how we become spiritual giants when we're relevant in our discipleship. I Couldn't help but think as my parents are here cheering me on tonight, and I need that. How 20 years ago this very time Dad was on the sidelines of a basketball court where his kid was usually about the 12th out of a team of 12.

You know, I mean really folks I was a short kid in high junior high school and we had a team with some big guys. They went undefeated three seasons in a row. Tremendous basketball players some of them went on to state championship teams in high school.

But dad was there cheering me on he was relevant in his discipleship, whatever I was interested in he got interested in it. He was there. See in the midst of building a big church and having an effective ministry.

Yes Deuteronomy 6. Impress them on your children these commandments. I give you today talk about them when you sit at home. Walk along the road when you lie down when you get up. What's he saying? He's saying mom and dad use every opportunity to influence your children for the sake of godliness.

Or the everyday experiences of life can become a relevant way to teach our children important spiritual lessons. Last summer a little boy threw sand in my oldest daughter's eyes and You know his parents what it's like your first reaction in the flesh would be to just crown that little kid.

Oh. You know, how dare he Now through the tears as we were Putting water on those eyes to get that sand out. God Gave me the grace and it was only God it was Jesus in me. To be able to talk at that very point with my daughter about forgiveness.