My Testimony — Alan Bartley

Psalm 116: Calling on the Lord in Distress

Now I'm going to read a few verses this evening from Psalm 116. Psalm 116, and I'm going to read from the first verse. Where the psalmist said, I love the Lord because he hath heard my voice and my supplications, because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live.

The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of hell got hold upon me. I found trouble and sorrow. Then called I upon the name of the Lord. O Lord, I beseech thee, deliver my soul. Gracious is the Lord and righteous.

Yea, our God is merciful. The Lord preserveth the simple. I was brought low and he helped me. Return unto thy rest, O my soul, for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with thee. For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.

Prayer for the Meeting and the Holy Spirit

Amen. And we know God will bless the reading of his word. Now let's unite in prayer for a second together, please. Our Father, we want to thank thee for the words we have already heard of testimony. And we pray, Lord, as we bring the meeting to a conclusion, that thou wouldst come, Lord, and speak continually to our hearts.

Father, I recognize my complete helplessness here tonight. And Lord, without thee I can do nothing. But afresh, Lord, I give to thee all that I have and am. And I claim thy cleansing and sanctifying power on my spirit, soul, and body.

And for the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ, for the extension of thy kingdom, and the fulfillment of divine promises, I take the promised Holy Ghost, the blessed power of Pentecost, to fill me to the uttermost, I take.

And I thank thee that he, the Holy Spirit, will undertake in Jesus' name. Amen. And amen. It's lovely to be here tonight and to share in this meeting. And I trust for the next few evenings that you'll come along and that you'll pray during the day, those of you who know the Lord, that you'll be praying, praying your home, pray as you give thanks for your food.

Wherever you are, just pray that the Lord would work and that God would pour his spirit out and that lives would be touched and changed. Because it's only the Lord can do that. And we trust that God will work through the preaching of his word and that souls will be saved.

Testimonies and the Ark of Safety

Now, I said to Jacqueline, whenever I saw the little sheet here for what was happening, I said, I don't want this to look bad because Philip's giving his testimony. And I have felt during the day that I would like to give my testimony tonight.

And she said, well, don't worry, because you're both different testimonies and you're from different backgrounds. And well, that's very true. And our testimonies are absolutely different, but you know, it's like the animals in the ark, Noah's ark, all the animals came different ways, but they all got to the same door and they all got into the ark.

And that was the place of safety. And you know, it doesn't matter how you come or what route you come. The important thing is that you come and you get into the ark for safety. My story is similar to Philip's in its beginning, but it becomes quite different.

Religious Upbringing and the Witness of Creation

Now, I was brought up in a religious environment, a religious home where I don't recall hearing the gospel. I went to the local church, but I don't recall hearing that I needed to be saved. Now, it may have been said by maybe Sunday school teachers.

It may have been said through some preachers that came along, but I don't recall hearing it. And so in my early years, I didn't know much about this word saved or born again, but I was very adamant that I would go to church.

And from my earliest years, I always believed in God. I never really had a time where I doubted the existence of God because being brought up on the farm and brought up with nature all around me, the Bible says that the invisible things of God are seen by the creation.

And whenever you look at the stars and the sun and the moon and creation and flowers, something tells you that there's a creator. Because I have a watch here tonight. And you know, as I look at that watch, it does many things for me.

But I know in the depth of my heart that that watch could not have evolved. It didn't just come. It had a creator. There was a mind at work to make that watch. And there was a great mind and a great heart at work to create this world and this universe.

And the only adequate explanation for why this world exists and why we exist is that there's a God who made us. And he's the God of heaven. And the lovely thing is that that God wants to be known by you and I.

And he has revealed himself through his son Jesus. But you know, it was to take me many years before I became a Christian. I went along to the local Sunday school. I went to church every Sunday. I wasn't forced to go.

I liked going. I enjoyed church. But you know, at the age of eight, something happened in my life that was to change my thinking profoundly. Because my father was a relatively young man coming almost 50.

Childhood Bereavement and the Certainty of Death

And that night in the home when he had been unwell during the day, I had a sister come running down. I was the youngest of eight children. And my sister come running down into the living room and she said, Daddy's dying.

And I was just a little boy. We had an old well stood cooker. Some of the younger ones won't know what that is, but it's an old cooker with a bar. And I remember my hands getting hold of that bar and I held them tight.

I knew something terrible had happened in our home that night. And I knew it would never be the same again. And after a period as I stood there on my own, everybody else was up in the bedroom. I remember my mother coming down into the living room and I saw her face.

And that image is etched on my mind. Because I knew what I had feared was also true. Something dreadful had happened in the home. And it would never be the same again. And so at a young age, I was introduced to death.

And the Bible says it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this, the judgment. The Bible says the wages of sin is death. And no matter how young you are tonight, listen, you're just the right age to die.

And the amazing thing is that for every person born and every cradle rock, there's a grave underneath it. The statistics for death are alarming. One out of one will die. No one evades it. No one escapes it.

And the reason why we'll all die is the Bible says in the book of Romans, Wherefore, as by one man, Adam, sin entered into the world, so death passed upon all men. Wouldn't you think out of the billions of people that are alive on the earth and that have lived down the centuries, wouldn't you think that one would evade death?

Wouldn't you think that there'd be one person who would live on, but it doesn't happen. All must die. It's a universal problem. There's no nation exempt. And dear friend tonight, you and I have an appointment with death.

Now, what I want to ask you tonight is, are you prepared for that eventuality? When death comes knocking at your door, will you be ready to go? Whenever you leave your body and you go out of your body and you leave this world behind and you step out into eternity for the first time, will it be heaven with Christ or will it be hell without him?

Honoring Parents and Remembering Loss

Well, when my father died, a lot of things happened during the next few days, but I can remember as a little boy, I was quite small. Before the funeral, my eldest brother lifted me up and I looked into the face of my father for the last time.

And that had a profound effect on me. And can I say to you, some of you are young in here tonight, some of you children, you respect your mother and father. You love your mother and father because the day will come when you'll not have a mother and father.

And you know what? You never miss the water till the well runs dry and you'll appreciate them when they're not there. And do what you can for them when you have them. Because listen, the Bible says, honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.

It's the only commandment that has a promise with it to honor your parents. God wants you to do that, to obey them and respect them. Well, my father's remains were taken out and the funeral passed and life had to go on.

The Pure Heart and the Danger of Religious Self-Reliance

But you know, friends, only in hindsight, after years, did I realize what was happening. I used to get on the bicycle in about eight or nine years. And for the next two or three years, I used to cycle up to the cemetery every Saturday.

Every Saturday evening, you'd have found me on the bicycle way up to the cemetery. And I would sit there. I didn't know what I was doing there, but it was obviously my way of mourning. It was my way of dealing with it.

And I used to sit on the old headstone and look up. Wasn't much to read in the cemetery, but there was a headstone. And I would look up and I would see all these names going down. But there was a text at the bottom and it said, blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.

And as a little boy, I remember thinking, you know, if I want to meet God, I'll have to have a pure heart. I'll have to be right with God. I just can't get to God the way I am. And it didn't look good for me because here was my great grandfather, back several generations, and it come right down to my father.

And I realized I'm next in line. This death thing, I'm the next victim. And so from my earliest years, I became aware of death. It was part of my thinking, but you know, life goes on. And I got involved with the church.

I became a youth leader. I didn't smoke. I never smoked a cigarette in my life. I never drank alcohol in my life. I never was in a dance or a disco in my life. I was as clean as a houndstooth. I was a church goer.

I did all that you were meant to do. And I used to listen to the minister every Sunday morning. And whenever he would say at the end of his message, he would say a prayer and I would listen attentively at the back of the church.

And he would say the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the communion of the Holy Spirit abide with you all now and forevermore. And I grabbed that all and I said, that's me. And I'm safe.

I'm safe under my minister's prayer. And I was in that position, you know, dear friends, but the tragedy was I wasn't right at all. I wasn't right with God at all. And you know, I was deeply religious, but not saved.

Maybe somebody here tonight, deeply religious, not saved. The Bible says there is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. You see, it seems right to go to church and to be baptized and to do good.

It seems right that that would get you to heaven. I believed that for years until I heard the gospel. To ask you tonight, if you were to die and get up to heaven and knock on the door and the Lord was to say, why should I let you into my heaven?

What would your reply be? I wonder, would your reply be this? Because this is what many people say. Well, I've done nobody any harm. I go to my church. I've paid all my bills. I don't fight with people.

I've never murdered anybody. I don't steal. I'm not a bad person. Is that what you would say? Well, I want to tell you, friend, if that's what you would say, you'll not get to heaven. You'll not get there.

For the Bible says to get to heaven, it's not by works of righteousness, which we have done. In other words, God said, you can't get in by good works. You can't get into heaven by being good. It's by the grace of God.

What does that mean? It means it's by what Jesus has done for you. You see, friend, if God, if you could get to heaven by being good and going to church and doing your best, if you could get to heaven by doing that, then answer me this question.

Why did Jesus come and die on the cross? It was a foolish thing to do, wasn't it? If you can get there by being good. Well, the answer, of course, is you can't get. You can only get through Jesus. For Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life.

Losing Interest in Church and God’s Providential Intervention

No man comes to the father but by me. Well, I kept going to church, but you know, when I got into my early teens, church became a turnoff. It started to have less of an appeal to me. The world was starting to open, career, finance, money, possibilities, future.

It's all there in my early teenage years. I'm starting to think about what I'm going to do with my life. And all the things that were so important to me, I've set them to the side. But you know, friends, it was just at that point when I could so easily have gone down a route that would have ruined my life.

God, in his mercy, stepped into my life. Let me tell you how it happened. A tent was erected not far from where we lived, in a little village called Killiman, and an evangelist called Sam Workman, the Reverend Sam Workman, came to have a mission.

And by this stage, I was losing interest in the church. It was just, it was nothing to do with the church. It was just me losing interest. But I decided that, you know, I wasn't going to bother much. I would go to church a wee bit, but missions wasn't really a turn on for me, and I wasn't going.

And that particular night, I can remember everybody was preparing to go to this mission, and my mother said, are you going tonight? I said, no, I'll not go tonight. And she gave me one of those looks that only a mother can give, and it changed my mind.

And I said, I'll go tonight. I'll go tonight, but I'm not going back. And I went that night, and of all the nights, the tent had blown down. And they were in the parochial hall, and they put me into the back, into a little hall in the local Anglican church, there was just a parochial hall, and a little back room, because the place was packed to capacity, and they put me into this little room with about 20 people, and all I can remember was teapots and kettles sitting in front of me.

And I thought, what a waste of a night. I have no intention of coming back here. This is boring. It's uninteresting. I could have been watching television. I could have been doing plenty of things. I'm not coming back.

That was my attitude. And while I sat there, the meeting commenced, and it started, and whoever sang, or whatever they did, I don't know what they wasn't listening. I don't even know what the preacher preached on.

Conviction of Sin and the Supernatural Work of Conversion

But halfway through that meeting, something happened. It was God coming to me. Now, I can't explain it, because it's supernatural. God's supernatural. And if you can explain all about your conversion, I doubt if you're converted, because salvation is God revealing himself to you.

That's what it is. And during that meeting, I suddenly became conscious of the presence of God. I became aware that I was a sinner. Now, I knew it in my mind, but I felt it. I became conscious that I wasn't ready to meet God.

And for the first time in my life, I felt lost. Now, any person who's a Christian here tonight will understand what I mean. I felt lost. And I can remember when the meeting was over, I went out of the parochial hall, and as I stepped over the threshold, I was no ambitious young man that night.

I wasn't thinking about career, or about education. Do you know all I was thinking about as I left that meeting that night? I am going to hell. I'm lost. I couldn't tell you what the preacher preached about.

It wasn't him that did it. It was God. God had come to me. A poor, lost, 17-year-old God had come to speak to me, even though I didn't even want to be there. You see, that's the kind of God that we have.

He steps into people's lives. People that don't deserve it. And he just comes, and he just speaks into their life. Well, dear friends, I left that meeting, and I couldn't shake off what had started. Because, you see, what had happened was God had put a hook in me, and he started reeling me in.

The Holy Spirit’s Conviction and the Call to Salvation

And once the tent was up, well, I didn't really know fully what was going on. I just knew that I was thinking about my soul during the daytime. At night time, I thought about my sin. I thought about eternity.

I thought about death. I thought about all these things. And, you know, the Bible says this, that when he, the Holy Spirit, has come, when God comes to you, the Bible says this is what he does. He doesn't tell you that you're a wonderful person.

When the Holy Spirit comes to you, he'll not tell you that you're the best things in sliced bread. When he has come, he will convince you of sin. He'll show you you're a sinner. Righteousness, right living, and judgment.

Those are the three things that the Holy Spirit will show you. And I was so conscious of my lostness, and I couldn't wait to get back. I thought it was the preacher who was doing it. I thought somehow he could create this thing.

So I thought, this must be an amazing man that's preaching. I'll have to go and see this man. So the tent was put up, and I went back. Well, I wasn't like one of those people that jump away, and a lot of you is in at the back there.

I got right up. I nearly had binoculars on, right up in under his nose. I wanted to see what's this boy like? What does he do? And this minister got up, and he preached. And in my young heart, I looked up for the first time in my life.

I looked at a minister, and I thought, I really want what you have. You see, that man had something that in my young heart, I looked up, and I said, there's a reality about it. This is not just words.

This is not an occupation to this man. This man really knows the Lord. This man really knows Jesus. Jesus is a real person to him. He really talks to him. He knows him intimately. And my heart was enthralled.

Salvation in Christ Alone

And night after night, that evangelist, he just told us from the Word of God how that we were sinners. And he explained that we had fallen far short of God's glory, and that we needed to be saved. For the Bible says, neither is there salvation in any other.

For there is none other name under heaven given amongst men, whereby we must be saved. The Bible says in the book of Isaiah, look unto me and be ye saved, all ye ends of the earth, for I am God, and there is none else.

Well, dear friends, as he opened the mirror of God's Word every night, I got so condemned. The Word of God was like a mirror. He lifted it up every night, and I felt it got to the stage through that mission that I started to wonder, could God even have mercy on me?

Could God forgive the things that I have done? Could God forgive the things that I have thought? Could God pardon me? And you know, in my heart, I started to cry out like the hymn writer, is there anyone can help me?

And every night the evangelist would say, yes, there's one. Only one, the blessed, blessed Jesus. He's the one. And dear friends, I saw the Lord Jesus as I'd never saw him before. He died for me. He died for sinners.

Seeking Christ with the Whole Heart

And during that campaign, one night, God drew so near to me. I had such a desire to get saved. I had such a longing to be born again. And I remember one night going in and I said, I don't care what it means.

I don't care what it costs. I'm going to get saved. And you know what the Bible says? You shall seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart. And that's exactly what I wanted to be saved.

I didn't care what it meant. And the devil started to put up all the blockages. And as I sat there in the meeting, the devil, you know, sometimes people sit around you here and there. It was a big tent, a thousand people.

And this man was sitting and I knew, I knew him. He was, he was well, he lived up the road a wee bit, but he was renowned for stealing hay. He was a farmer. Not all farmers do that, that I'm aware of, but he was renowned for it anyway.

But he professed to be saved. And I knew about him. And I'm sure the devil sat him in front of me. And the devil said to me, if you get saved, you'll be like him. And I thought, I don't want to be like him.

I don't want that. And dear friends, the devil said, but how will you live this life? You can't read the Bible. You can't pray. What do you know? And the devil used everything in his armory. But you know, friends, I said, I don't care what it costs.

I don't care what it means. I don't even care if it makes me miserable. I want to be saved. I want to know I'm going to heaven. And one night during that campaign, I don't know what night it was. I don't have a date, but I was there when it happened.

The Personal Experience of Being Born Again

And sometimes my children, I have three children, they come up past the car, up the motorway. And when we're traveling up and they're sitting, gawking and looking around them, I say, you see over there?

See that field over there? There's a building site. They're going to build houses. See that field? Yes. God saved my soul in that field. I got saved in that field. I could bring you to the spot. My dear friend, when you get saved, you know it.

When you meet the living Christ and he comes to live inside you. I was in hospital recently and there was a man in beside me and another Christian came in to visit me and he came to pray and he decided to do a wee bit of witnessing and he started to talk to this man and he said to him, sir, are you saved?

Oh, he said, yes, I'm saved. But I'd been talking to him for a while and I had a good idea he wasn't saved. But he just didn't like to be cornered and he just said, oh, I am saved. Oh, I am saved too, surely.

The man says, when did you get saved? He says, I can't remember. Dear friend, if you're saved, you'll never forget. You'll never forget the moment. You'll never forget the location. It's the most precious spot on the earth where God comes, the creator, and he saves your eternal soul.

You'll never forget it. Not in your life. Well, the Lord saved me. I called on him one night, friends, in desperation, in my heart, and I said, Lord, please save me. Pardon me. Make me a Christian. And that's what happened.

The Lord saved me that night, 25 years ago. You know, friends, it was just the beginning and my time is almost gone, but there's so much I could tell you tonight of what the Lord Jesus Christ means to me.

Christian Fellowship and the Danger of Spiritual Routine

Because that night I was just newborn. I was just a wee baby, born again. And you know, it wasn't too long until I started to meet with other Christians and I got into church and fellowship with them.

And I thank God for all the people during the journey of life that I met that had contributed and helped me and encouraged me. And the older I get, the more grateful I am to the Lord for all the people that he brought into my life.

But you know, friends, I wasn't that long saved until, you know, like so many, I just got into the routine. Just go into meetings and, you know, you can get like that door at the back, you can you can get plenty of activity.

That door at the back there, it swings in and out. There's plenty, but it goes nowhere. Never does anything, just swings. And you can become like that, like a Christian. And that's what I became like.

Just swinging, not getting anywhere. And I started to ask the Lord what was wrong with me. As I read the New Testament, I discovered that there was people and their life was full of activity in winning the lost, in getting answers to prayer, in seeing the Lord working.

But you know, those things weren't happening in my life. And the Lord, although I loved him, yet my heart was so drawn toward the things of the world. And the world had such an appeal. Not in the sense I wanted to go to a pub or a club, but just the pull of the world and the things of the world.

Surrendering Every Idol to God

They can capture your heart. That you don't love the Lord with all your heart. And God brought me to a crisis five years after I was saved. And I used to go to a prayer meeting in Armagh with a number of men, a few of them now with the Lord, the Old Elam Church.

And I remember in those prayer meetings, they went on for about a year. And I used to ask the Lord, Lord, I need you to do something with me. I'm not happy where I am. I really need you to change me. I don't know what I need, but I know something has to happen.

And I went along to those prayer meetings and there was these, just a handful of men, Christians from different churches, but they loved the Lord. And they knelt to pray and this is what they used to pray.

Lord, take my life. Take all that there is of me, Lord, and use me for your glory. Do what you want with me. And I couldn't do that. I was afraid to do that. The consequences, what might God not do if I give my life fully into his hand?

But during those meetings, God started to move in my heart. And he started to impress on me that there were other things that I loved more than him. You see, friends, I loved washing my car more than reading the Bible.

I loved hoovering my car more than praying. And the Bible says, thou shalt have no other gods before me. And I had other gods. They had just got in there and the Lord wasn't all. And the Lord spoke to me about things in my life that he didn't like.

And he brought me to a place where I gave all that I had and all I ever hoped to be, I gave it into his hand. And I trusted him to cleanse me and fill me with his Holy Spirit. And you know, friends, God started to change my life.

Calling and the Trials of Ministry

God put desires in my heart that I never had before. Desires for souls, desires to win others for the Lord, others to the Lord. And it wasn't too long until the Lord called me to go over to Edinburgh to the Bible College.

And I just want to share a few things with you tonight before I close, but I want to speak just a moment to some of the Christians tonight. I went along to Bible College, God guided me so clearly. But after a year, my health broke down.

I had very, very severe depression. And I come home and it took me about three years to recover. And those of you who have suffered with depression will understand I have the greatest sympathy, people with that ailment.

But you know, during those long years of slow recovery, the Lord taught me many, many things. And I thought that I had left Bible College, but you know, God just transferred me into another one. And the School of Sickness is one of the best colleges you can go into as long as you let God bring you through it and learn the lessons he wants to teach you.

Trusting God for a Ministry and Daily Provision

And as I came through that, I had come home. By this stage, I was involved in a little church that was local to us. But you know, the Christians didn't know what to make of me. They thought, what a strange character.

He made off to Bible College and here he's home and he doesn't know where he is. And I didn't know where I was either. I knew God had called me into the ministry and there I was. I had broken health, broken mind, no ministry, nobody to believe me anymore.

And there was an old port-a-cabin down on the farm where I lived. And that was my little place where I used to go and meet God. And that was where I recourse to every day. I ran to that little port-a-cabin and that's where I brought my needs to the Lord.

And one day before the Lord, I said, Lord, the Christians don't really trust me and I can't blame them. I don't think if I wasn't their shoes, I'd trust me either. So I can't blame them. But Lord, I don't know what you're doing with my life.

I don't understand, but you and I know what has happened. And Lord, you have called me and you have something for me to do in this life. You've called me, you've told me things you're going to do. Lord, I'm going to ask you to do something.

I'm going to ask you to do something. I'm going to ask you to keep me. I'm going to ask you to supply my material need. Now I could have got it from the government and there's no problem with that, but it was just between me and the Lord.

I needed God to confirm to me that he really had called me and he really had something to do for me in a period of dark depression. That was in 1988. And I say tonight to the glory of God, after 20 years, I have never had a salary.

I've never had a guaranteed income. And I could keep you here literally to tomorrow night, telling you one story after another of how God has met my need and the need of a wife and three children. My dear friend, this God that is our God, he is so faithful.

Seeking First God’s Kingdom and Trusting His Provision

Let me give you one illustration before I close. I'm sure I've told it before. Some of you maybe heard my testimony. Many years ago, whenever we had just got married, my wife and I, we were living in Lisbon.

And well, the bills were coming in and we didn't have the money to pay them. And of course, the Bible says, if you seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, God says, then all these things, material things, shall be added onto you.

And so I used to take, I still do it on occasions, used to take the bills out, the electric bill, whatever bill, and I'd walk up and down the back of the garden and I'd say, Lord, here's your electric bill.

Lord, you need to pay this. You own the cattle on a thousand hills. The silver and the gold are yours. Lord, this is your bill. I'm seeking first your kingdom. You have said all things will be added. And a number of bills gathered and there was no money coming in.

And eventually we started to write out the checks, put them in the envelope and sorted it out. And I said, right, well, we'll go and post them and trust the Lord that he'll somehow get the money in before they get the money out.

And we went down and posted them and prayed over the letterbox. Many's a time I prayed over a letterbox, that the Lord would look after it and see that it worked out okay. And just as we'd posted it, I come back up to the house and sat down and said, well, we've done the deed.

We'd end up in jail, but we've done the deed. Do nothing, only trust the Lord now. This one that became our savior, this Lord Jesus, see if he can help us on the journey of life. Not only in the saving of our soul, but looking after our finances and looking after the details of life.

And a knock came to the door. A farmer, twisted around every shape. He had just fallen off a ladder and broke his back. Now, if I had have been him, I would have made my way on over to the hospital. But he said, the Lord spoke to me when I fell off the ladder.

He said, and I was coming in, God told me to come and see you. He says, I'm in a horrendous pain. And he was broken back. He says, God told me to come and see you before I went to the hospital. He had no Land Rover parked at the front.

And I says, well, what, what, come on in. Brought him in and he handed me a check. And he said, God told me to give you that. And dear friends, when we opened it up, there was enough for all the bills and the Lord got his tithes and we had a Highland fling in the middle of the living room.

God’s Faithfulness and the Love of Christ

You see, there's no joy on earth like proving the Lord. There's no joy like it. Elijah's God still lives today. He really does live. He really does answer prayer. He really does care about your life. He really does love you.