SERMON: Proverbs 9:8b-9 (Rules For Reproving)

Thank you for subscribing to the Shepherds Church podcast. This is our Lord's Day Sermon We pray that as we declare the

Word of God that you would be encouraged Strengthened in your faith and that you would catch a greater vision of who

Christ is May you be blessed in the hearing of God's Word and may the Lord be with you

One of the fastest ways that you can discern the true spiritual state of a man or a woman is

To correct them reproof

Functions like an MRI lighting up a tumor It exposes what really lies beneath the surface

I remember a pastor once said to me humans are like oranges if you squeeze them, you'll find out what's in them in that sense

You confront a man or a woman with the truth and you will very quickly See what truly lives within and to that end last week

We saw that when you reprove a scoffer what lies within them is inner hatred

The fool doubles down he digs trenches of self -defense He fires volleys of excuses until his sin feels justified and his heart grows even

Harder, this is why Solomon warns us not to rebuke the scoffer and not to reprove the why the wicked because when you are rebuking a scoffer you are

Participating in a situation that only yields insults and injury for you

Because they're not changing It's what Solomon is arguing and this is why the

Spirit himself Instructs us in the New Testament through the mouth of God's one and only

Son don't throw your pearls before Your swan or before swine don't waste the precious pearls of correction on those with spiritual snouts

Because they will trample them underfoot But this is also why scripture doesn't forbid reproving carte blanche or in totality because there is a kind of reproof that is good and There is a kind of reproof that we should be participating in there is a kind of correction rebuking reproving admonishing that we ought to be giving to each other and Receiving from each other that builds up life in the community of God and as we will see in today's passage the wise man treasures correction as a gift

He loves the one who reproves him Because he loves wisdom more than he loves his pride

For the wise correction is not an offense. It's oxygen. It's not an attack.

It's for his advancement and This also means that if you long to follow

Christ and if you want to be wise Then you must learn how to give correction wisely and Receive it humbly and that is hopefully our point today as we're going to be looking at how to reprove

Righteously, and if you will turn with me to Proverbs 9 verses 8

B through 9 8 B Just means the second clause of verse 8 and we'll be going through verse 9 if you'll join me there in Proverbs 9

We'll read it together Also, if you took a picture of the supporting text, I don't think

I updated that so I'll update that and put it on Facebook And you'll have them there. They're not updated.

I just remembered that. Sorry. Let's read together Reprove a wise man, and he will love you give instruction to a wise man

And he will still be wiser teach a righteous man, and he will increase his learning.

Let's pray Lord we thank you that There's so much in the book of Proverbs that we don't often consider especially on Sunday morning, especially in sermons

And yet Lord, there's topics that that are so helpful and so necessary and and intersect

So so much with the human condition that I'm so thankful Lord that you have

Allowed us to be in this book and that you authored this book for the wisdom of your people

Lord help us in this area where our culture deeply struggles in Correction and in godly reproving

Help us Lord to be examples of what it means to have a healthy righteous view of these things and a faithful Application of it in Jesus name we pray

Amen One of the most chilling books that I have ever read

Had nothing to do with monsters. No bloods. No tyrants and not even a false rapture

The left -behind series was terrifying for different reasons The book I'm actually talking about is

Aldous Huxley's a brave new world where humanity traded its soul for Soma if you've read the book and That world which proved more prophetic now actually than it was in its own day.

They didn't outlaw the truth They simply out entertained it They didn't burn

Bibles and they didn't imprison Christians or believers in God they just drownded their conscience in a million comforts

Every conviction in their world was medicated and sedated Every discomfort was erased and so people could no longer feel sorrow guilt or even genuine grace

No one wept in a brave new world, but no one also repented No one worshipped

Every pain of their conscience was silenced by a myriad of different vices

Pleasure became the priesthood of their culture and comfort their God. They laughed themselves into their own slavery humming hymns of happiness as they marched dutifully into their own captivity in That world people didn't fear judgment.

They feared boredom Hell was a mild discomfort in heaven in the terms of the book was an orgy porgy

They conquered suffering by killing the soul and they built their utopia upon euthanizing emotions and in that world

No one could be reproved No one could be corrected and no one could be corrected because no one thought that they had done anything wrong because if you've done

Something wrong. That's a killjoy Words like sin and sorrow became extinct because they're too heavy, man

They traded holiness for pleasure and happiness character for chemicals conviction for convenience and my goodness

What an analogy for the modern world We've built a brave new world in 4k resolution in America Where we doomscroll instead of seek the

Living Christ Where we binge watch instead of get down on our knees and pray where we're medicated

In order to cover over godly sorrow that we ought to be experiencing.

That should drive us to the cross Our pixelated Soma streams from every screen and we drown our conviction between an avalanche of amusement and we call that peace when it actually is chaos in full effect and That's what makes

Aldous Huxley's novel So prophetic because Big Brother from 1984 need not come when

Big Pharma and Big Entertainment can take his place and Because we've built

Huxley's world of pills and pixels. We've enslaved ourself to entertainment and fascination and In this brave new world that we've created.

We've just basically remade a brand new version of hell The same old hell as before where no one repents and no one believes

Because no one is a sinner and everyone is good in their own, right? No one needs

God And even if someone did Muster the gumption to reprove us in our sacred specialness

They would be called a disturber of the peace They would be the real problem as we ignore them to go and do more exciting things in all of this comfort that we've created

We've become immune to correction and I would even go as far as to say that we are a culture that hates

Reproving which can be demonstrated. I think in three points Number one. We are a fragile culture

We are a fragile culture Today we inhabit a paper -thin civilization that was not handed to us by our forefathers that we created and hollowed out a world where our skin is thinner than a single pane of glass and hearts that were once robust enough to cross the oceans and Establish the greatest civilization that has ever existed for the service of God now

We behave like our emotions are wrapped in bubble wrap Christian men who once stood bravely against the violence of Bloody Mary Queen of Scots Christians who once stood bravely against the cruelty of the

Ottomans and the Turks Now we flinch because of someone sharing uncouth words

Once Saints sang psalms in catacombs and now we sulk when someone disagrees with us

Instead of iron sharpening iron, we are a culture that has become cotton coddling cotton soft safe with no sparks

But it's in the sparks where we're sharpened. It's in the sparks where we're made effective for our purpose

We applaud we applaud When strong words are offered to people somewhere in the realm of out there

You know like the gays the trannies the liberals the leftists and on and on and on we applaud that But when even the most carefully worded love -filled critique intersects us in all of our

Pride we become angry we recoil and we run away. I've seen it over and over and over in the

Christian Church We've built a new religion today of fragility

Where offense is the new heresy and comfort is our creed? If you correct me,

I'll cancel you if you confront me. I'll cut you off if you persist. I will taunt you a second time

If you get the reference We've become a civilization that is contempt of correction

We've cauterized our consciences and that has kept us from genuine repentance

Abundance has made us weak Our forefathers bled through brutal winters to establish

Christ in this new world and today we panic when the Wi -Fi cuts off Comfort has taught us that ease is our birthright and hardship is our greatest evil and so because of that now conflict feels like cruelty

Because we've forgotten that correction is love in its most purified form

Sickness has infected the church as well. The church once carved cathedrals on mountaintops

Sent joyful martyrs to die in foreign lands. And now the church sends people flying far and wide at the slightest confrontation of our personal pet idol

Our pulpit once forged soldiers for a spiritual warfare to win the world to Christ and now we pamper spiritual pushovers

Not this church. I'm talking about the church We no longer teach men to carry their cross and to die we teach them to cushion their cross so that they can sit down on it and Families tiny little irritations swell into open wounds that lead to divorce and broken families

Our culture of increased Stability has birthed our total fragility and it is time that Christians brought something of substance back

That's the first problem is that we live in a fragile society today that is built on comfort and sedation we live in Aldous Huxley's world and sadly this is a culture where you can't reprove anyone because everyone thinks they're right and Every road leads to right

That's the first reason reproof and correction has become so difficult The second reason is a little bit closer to home the second reason is is that all of us have within us a prideful heart if Societal fragility is a symptom pride is the disease

That's why our paper -thin skin often mirrors our ironclad at hearts because pride is the gate that bars

Correction from entering in it's the dragon that guards the fortress of self -preservation and until that dragon is slain truth will not pass through and That's the difference between the scoffer and the wise man the scoffer and the fool bristles when correction is given and yet the wise man bows humbly and Receives it the proud man can't be taught

Because his ego can't endure the thought that for a second he was wrong

This is why reproof is like Mercy's mirror only the righteous and the wise would ever dare to look into it

If you tell a proud man that he is wrong, you'll meet his God face to face and his

God is him This is why the hymn of the proud today is don't judge me

And they even say only God can judge me which I have no idea why they would say such a foolish thing

Because he absolutely will When you call the proud to repentance, they will call it cruelty they will label your admonishment as abuse as hate speech and Your discipline as oppression

That's why pride turns the surgeon's scalpel into the enemy's Sith It confuses love with attack humiliation or humility with humiliation and It would rather die sick than admit it needs a cure

That's why so few people actually grow wiser today because pride freezes you into an

Infantile place where you can't receive correction where you're always right You can never be corrected and if you are you'll throw a tantrum.

What does that remind us of a Human being who is always right can't be corrected and at the drop of the hat will lose their mind and lay on the ground and scream and cry

It reminds us of Infants and it reminds us of our civilization

Only the Spirit of God can shatter that shell Only grace can tame that dragon and only regeneration can make a man love the very thing that he once hated

Such as righteous rebuke When the Spirit humbles a man reproof no longer feels like death, but it feels like a resurrection

But when the proud man hears reproof, he sees it as a wound and he's angry at you for it The wise man sees the wound as a gift and he's thankful for it.

The pride man despises it and hates you for it and this is because The man who welcomes correction has declared war on himself

The man who has not is declared war on you that's the second reason that reproof and correction and admonishment has become so difficult in the

Christian Church because number one our culture has become hollowed out and fragile and number two

The pride of hearts has caused us to bristle at any level of correction that we receive

Number three, I think is probably the most important reason is that we have inherited you and I a cowardly church

Again, not this church the church And there's much that I can say on this point.

There's much that I have said on this point I want to suffice it to say that as churches have become afraid to call out

Sin and to preach it in such a way that your flesh becomes nervous The spiritual muscles needed for repenting have actually atrophied for instance if all we do in in life is

Sit down and we never do anything our muscles will die Well if we have sat down in the church for decades and never once been challenged

That our sin nature needs to be mortified That part of our conscience will become actually calcified and we will end up hating reproof if pulpits who were regularly challenging

God's people stop There will come a day when even the mildest challenge on the honeyest lips

Will seem so oppressive that men and women will lose their minds We've given as a church

Culture so much sugar that we've made Christendom diabetic and We can't understand why the church is failing

This is why Solomon says in Proverbs 27 5 through 6 better is open rebuke than love that is concealed

Faithful are the wounds of a friend but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy yet far too many ministries today are built on placation

Refusing to do church discipline, which is biblical refusing to call sin sin

The church has become the sentimals the sentinels of sentimentality ill -equipping the

Saints to make war with her flesh and to spread the kingdom of God and when that happens unrepentant sin metastasizes unchallenged error multiplies and Sensitivities begin to paralyze and in that the church dies and I want us to remember that Christ did not make us did not die for us

To make us comfortable He said in this world, you'll have many troubles, but fear not have overcome the world.

He didn't die to make you comfortable he died to make you holy and if the church doesn't recover her courage to correct

God's people and Hopefully themselves the leadership with holy love then she will never grow a

Tree grows best when you prune it. That's the analogy that Jesus gives and if you belong to him, you will be pruned

If you're his son, you will be chastised The scriptures show us the blessing of this thing that our pride hates so deeply

Which is reproof and correction I've just shared three reasons.

There's probably many more on why this is so difficult today, and it is so difficult today But according to Solomon, it's so necessary today

This is what he says in the passage. I want you to look at it again reprove a wise man And he will love you.

So if you're reproved and you're a wise man, you actually have an increase of love

You love the person more. So how do you how do you love people more in your life? Have them reprove you if you're wise

If you're wise, what else does he say give instruction to a wise man, and he will be wiser my goodness

If we want to have more wisdom if we want to have more life experience if we want to have said we know more affections that are aimed

Intelligently at obedience then why would we cut ourself off from godly correction?

It's for our good that we would be corrected It's for our growth that we would be corrected it's for the actual

Amount of love that we have in our heart for other people That we would be corrected

Teach a righteous man and he will increase his learning. This is the upside -down aspect of so many doctrines in the

Bible Which means they must be from God because we would have never invented them You know like that whole

Die and then you'll live what? Or take up your cross and follow me or rebuke a wise man and he will love you these are the kind of doctrines that bring life into the heart of men and We've abandoned them because of the fear of men

Now that begs the question If this causes so much blessing so much good so much growth so many

Aspects that that we would pray for ourselves. We would pray God make me wise Maybe also pray

God bring correction to me God increase my love. Maybe God also have someone correct me and reprove me

It begs the question if these things are so good and these blessings are so sweet and these are the things that we want

It begs the question. How do we do it because I will tell you

Before we get into our next section This is an area where I think the church is very very much struggling the church in at -large

I've been a pastor for 10 years, which is not a long time in the grand scheme of eternity. It's a drop in an ocean

But one of the things that I've seen that's been so hard for me is how little The American in general in the

American Christian in particular can take rebuke I've had so many conversations

Where prayerfully have tried to do as much as I possibly can to say brother this what you did is said and I love you, and I'm telling you about it because I care about you and that person writes me off leaves and I don't see them again and Here's what's happened

Because you and I have probably both had situations just like that We've we've counted the cost in our own minds and said well,

I guess That reproof is not worth it Because if I want to keep those people in my life

Then I have to actually pet them instead of point out the thing that would actually help them I'm glad that Your ontologist oncologist, excuse me doesn't do that To make you feel good.

He doesn't tell you that you have cancer You see love actually like we said earlier in its purest form is correcting the thing that's killing the person that you love and If there's sin that's eating away at them.

You want to correct them You want to care for them enough to say something, but you're also probably afraid that if I do my goodness

They're gonna write me off. They're gonna get angry. They're gonna leave they're gonna X Y & Z I get it

This is an area of extreme immaturity in Western Christianity Icah said earlier.

We're nowhere close to iron sharpening iron. We like to say that We like to say iron sharpening iron until we realize what that actually means sparks flying when iron sharpens iron intensity pressure heat is

When iron sharpens iron and yet we are pain averse creatures and in our modern world we hate this

That's why I called it cotton coddling cotton But we have to recover it

Because of what it what it says here. It's it's for our life It's for our increase of love and it's for increase in learning life love and learning matter in the court of correction

So, why wouldn't we try at least to recover this thing and Why wouldn't our church?

Kind of like Isaiah said here I am send me why wouldn't our church say? Okay, if our culture struggles with this may it not be so here in this church.

May we grow in Such a way where we can do correction and reproving and admonishment in ways that when it happens

Both people would praise God both people would feel blessed. Both people would grow deeper in love with God and in grace

Can we? Be a church that tries to accomplish that and if we're going to be a church that tries to accomplish that we need to know actually what that is and That's why for the rest of our time.

I want to talk in very practical terms about how do you actually do this?

I Don't want to assume and I don't want to use two -dollar words I Want to talk about eight steps?

That you can do to practically and biblically and healthily and faithfully

Correct someone who is in sin and while I'm not saying it you can apply these eight things to yourself when someone's correcting you so number one the first thing you should do when you see the sin and Someone else and you see that it's harming them and your heart's being stirred up and you're like, oh,

I hate that I want to tell them about it. The first thing I want you to do is take a breath Before you open your mouth to correct someone else close it and breathe through your nose

Because the righteous pause before they speak and they are not hasty like fools blunting out the first thing that comes onto their mind

That's why Proverbs says in 1528 the heart of the righteous ponders how to answer

But the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things Taking a breath is not cowardice and it doesn't mean that I'm gonna be avoidant.

I'm not gonna talk about the hard thing It means letting the spirit Temper your zeal over time instead of allowing yourself to come out like molten lava

It means holding back Just long enough so that you can pray and seek

God and let the spirit help you Understand how to have the heart that you need to deliver the message that you want to deliver and in this way

I Have been spared many times when I've done this and I have been

Embarrassed or blew up a situation when I haven't I've learned this one hard through a lot of failure

Listen there my wife asked me Right in the very early part of my ministry

She said what are you gonna do when you come to a passage where you struggle with it? And you have to preach it.

I said I'm gonna preach it because the efficacy of the truth doesn't depend on my

Ability to do it and I want the passage to preach to me and every week the passage preaches to me as I grow

Hopefully as you grow But taking a breath gives you time We often feel the sense of urgency when it comes to I need to tell them

I mean I need to let them know There's really very few situations where a 24 -hour break won't actually bring a lot of health

There are very few situations that are as urgent as your emotions think that it is The man who rebukes hastily will often provoke anger and immaturity

But the one who waits upon the Lord Will bring a useful reproof to his brother or sister.

That's the first thing take a breath The second thing that you ought to do before you give the rebuke is examine your own heart

Because while you're taking a breath you need to actually use that pause for something intentional instead of just a timeout

This is why Jesus said to us To take the log out of your own eye before trying to take out the splinter in your brothers

And this is why Paul said when you're restoring someone who's caught in sin you do it in a spirit of gentleness

Watching yourself lest you also be tempted What this is telling us is that before we correct someone else

We ought to do the very wise thing in searching our own heart and see if there's anything that we need to confess first Because before you attempt surgery on someone else you need to scrub up and You need to make sure that you're walking into that situation clean

Maybe you even pause yourself and you ask questions like Why do I want to speak right now?

Is this a matter of love or is this a matter of irritation? Is it an annoyance because my pride was afflicted or is it rooted in godly compassion?

Am I aiming to restore my brother or am I attempting to relieve my own ego or embarrassment?

You see the log in our eye will often Make us miss see the speck in our others eye and we will see it as a telephone pole

Unless we pull out the log in ours But once we do that once we repent once we do that work we can present that reproof in a way that's truly loving towards the other person because we've done the hard work of killing the pride in us and My question is

Why wouldn't we want to do that if? we want to help our brother then we need to do the kind of thing that would actually be a true help and It's not coming in You know hot and heavy with your finger wagging

Provoking the your brother's flesh. Maybe he's mature enough to handle your immaturity but maybe just maybe the

Lord might use that 24 hour to 48 hour time that you take to pray and Confess your sins and and have your heart tenderized by the gospel the

Lord might just use that To actually help and win your brother. I've seen it so many times and I know we've got

Not a very popular figure anymore, but he used to be a man who would say facts don't care about your feelings

I get it. There's an attitude like that in the church. That's the truth. Who cares? I'm just gonna throw it like a grenade and you deal with it.

Okay fine. I've interacted with people for 42 years and that usually is a very immature way to deal with the people

God made and They usually don't respond very well when you do it

So do what you can to not provoke their flesh and do what you can to crucify your own

That's number two. Number three when you are ready to bring the rebuke to your brother. They've done something really

Sinful not really sinful but actually sin. That's what I mean. They've done something that has sinful They've done something that warrants rebuke.

You've spent time praying about it and Pulverizing your own tendency for for self -righteousness and justification and everything else and you go in a holy way

The first thing that you need to do, which is our third step is ground what you say in holy scripture

Not rooted in your opinions Not rooted in a kind of sanctified dressed -up version of what you think is righteousness

Paul said to Timothy All scripture is God -breathed and profitable for what for teaching for reproving

For correction and for training up in righteousness He's saying

I've given you the tool so that you can do this work and you got to use it.

I Love golf, but if I went to play golf with a tennis racket,

I would be a moron Because that's not the right tool for the job. I Babies That would be a horrible tool

You've got to use the right tool for the right job. And when you're doing reproving the right tool is

Holy Scripture that way you protect the reproving from being based on your preferences your

Personality or your former pain that comes out all the time whenever you speak and you don't even realize it

What I'm saying is let the Bible do your cutting because it's the only sword that is so sharp that it both cuts and heals

Show your brother your concern by pointing him to the truth of God not from your wounded pride let him hear reproved from scripture and let him hear that you love him enough to show it to him and that has power and That has real mercy that's number three number four is

Choose the right time and the right place and the right tone when you are giving a reproof

Even the sharpest truth can be ruined by a poor delivery So choose the right time place and right tone

That's why Proverbs 25 11 says like apples of gold and settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances

So what he's saying there is the truth can't just be just leveled at someone with a bazooka

Maybe sometimes you need to do that When that's the right tool for the job But not every time

I'll tell you this. I Don't speak to men and women the same way. I hope you don't either

I Hope that you have enough savvy to know that you can look at your brother

And I actually did this one time and the Lord will have to I'll have to face the Lord for this I Looked at a brother and I said you need to pull your head out of somewhere that followed that statement

Because what you were doing is not right and he walked away and called me back a week later and said those were the best

Words I've ever heard I needed that I do not talk to women that way Not the right tool for the job

It's wise to consider timing When you're considering a reproof for instance, I'm gonna give an extreme example, but I hope you can hear in the extreme example the point

You have something that you need to say, but your brother just lost his mother or father It could be a great opportunity to practice patience and say

I'm gonna let love cover a multitude of sins on this one Timing is important a biblical reproof given in the wrong way and in the wrong time

Usually falls flat or it inflames the situation unnecessarily for no reason

For instance if a public correction is going to humiliate a person where a private correction or reproof would be sufficient do that Here's another example that I've learned over the years sarcasm

I Speak sarcasm or at least I used to much more than I do today But with sarcasm you have to be very careful

Because in sarcasm there's often a nugget of truth and you don't want people to be left guessing what the nugget of truth is and What the other is

I? Have almost completely eliminated sarcasm from conversations with my wife because they don't help her

They don't help me. They don't help our marriage and they make our life worse So I speak to my wife with the tool that is best for her because right time right tone right tool

And here's the point When you're delivering a holy and righteous reproof don't wrap it in newspaper or moldy rags

Wrap it in careful delivery, though. I think the Lord will bless it Ask yourself is this the right moment to give this reproof am

I using the right kind of tone to give this reproof am I? Using the right kind of genre to give this reproof

You remember in the in the scriptures Nathan comes in and calls David to repentance and he comes in and says you adulterer, right?

Now he says hey David. Let me tell you a story about a man who had one sheep and David's like tell me about it and He brings him in and draws him in then at the end.

He says you are the man, but he doesn't start there Ask yourself is is the genre that I plan on using the right tool is my

The thing I like about myself is I'm the kind of guy who just shoots it straight, okay? But is that the right tool for this situation?

Maybe you say I'm the kind of person who likes to kind of get there and beat around the bush Is that the right tool for this situation?

I? Have had moments where both have been ineffective where I shot too straight and wounded my brother or my sister or I was beating around the bush hemming and hauling not getting to the point and they walked away and had no idea what

I was Talking about ask yourself the question.

Is this the right time right tone right tool because if not often harm will come number five

Speak the truth and love when you speak it now love doesn't always mean sugary saccharine honey filled nothings

But speak the truth and love make sure that your heart is is Lovingly disposed towards the person that you were speaking to again that doesn't mean softening the truth

But it means sharing it in a sanctified way Love doesn't dilute the truth, but it does deliver it

Faithfully without love Truth can become a hammer without love your words can end up becoming one of the greatest pieces of hypocrisy

Before you ever meet with someone here's something that I'd like to do I Like to think about before I meet with them two to three things that I really appreciate about them

Because when I go into the situation to talk with them I'm already thinking about them in a positive way and it often finds its way into my

Conversation with them and it often is a way that I can say brother I love the way that you do this and you do this and you do this but here's an area where you got to work on this it's so much better when the person who's sitting across from you know that knows that you love them in Order for them to receive the word from you the hard word from you and from the scriptures even

I Mean think about it in your own life If you thought someone did not care about you was not concerned about you and the only thing they wanted to do was wound you

How open would you actually be to receiving what they have to say? It would take a great moment of maturity on your part to get past the emotional

Difficulties you were having with the situation and that's because we're human So if you want to be wise if you want to be mature and if you want to actually help other people grow

Whether it be your husband your wife your kids People who you know if you want to actually be a help to them do the kind of work that it takes to be helpful

Number six be clear Be concise and be constructive

Don't use your reproof as an opportunity to filibuster But also don't waste your time going on and on and on About things that are so vague not even

Nostradamus would understand what you're talking about Proverbs 27 5 through 6 says better is an open rebuke.

We read this verse earlier than love that is concealed When you give her a rebuke and a reproof and an admonishment is really important that you're not vague and they're that you're not using

Insinuating language and you're not doing what a good southerner will do By going around your butt to get your elbow is what we used to call it

I don't know if you have that phrase up here now you do a

Righteous man or woman benefits most when the issue is plainly stated Tell him or her what has happened

Tell him why it matters biblically tell him what repentance it looks like in the situation and Tell him that you're with him or you're with her that level of plainness actually ends up helping someone

Receive the truth so that there's no lack of clarity Number seven invite dialogue and listen humbly

Proverbs says he who gives an answer before he hears it is folly and shame to him and let every man be quick to hear

This is James slow to speak and slow to anger as you speak and you're trying to be clear and concise and constructive

It's also wise to invite dialogue and to and to demonstrate and listen with humility

Reproof is not a monologue Reproof is a covenantal Conversation about God's precepts and your love for that person and where those two realities intersect

You're not there to deliver a monologue or a verdict because you are not their judge

You're there to humbly discern the scriptures with them and to point them to Christ That's why

Proverbs says if you answer before you listen, it's often shame for you This means that it's a part of our conflict resolution skills.

We have to learn how to ask questions I remember a man once told me that the man who asked the questions leads the conversation and I thought to myself

I was in my 20s or something when I heard this and I was like Well, how's that possible? The man who leads is the one who who stands up and he says the most words, right?

In my 40s, I know that's not true The one who asks the questions is the one who's actually directing the conversation learn how to ask questions it is one of the most helpful tools that you can have in your marriage in Conflict with your children and conflict with a boss in conflict with anyone ask questions and listen humbly

Because perhaps Just maybe and I know I'm speaking very hypothetically here.

Perhaps you didn't understand the situation rightly. I Know that's probably not true because you've understood every situation rightly like I have

But perhaps if you would slow down and ask a few questions and get some more information Maybe your opinion might be a little different and you would actually be a better aid to your brother with more

Information so that you could actually give more wise counsel than what you thought you had based off of half a sentence

Again, none of these things are things I do perfectly But I think these are things that are wise that I want to grow in and I hope you want to grow in When people sense that you're not attacking them.

They actually tend to want to be around you Like who would figure They tend to open up around you instead of shutting down Now, of course the

Word of God is true Yes, it is. And it's the one that has the power. It's the two -edged sword.

It's the the gospel. That's the power of God Amen, I believe that I know that but also

I think there's wisdom and just learning how to say things well and learning how to be caring and loving and Pastoral even to the people that are around you

If all of us in some way or another or sheep all of us in some way or another need to be led and leadership is not dictatorship leadership is learning how to use wisdom to help people go from where they are to where they need to be and For them to actually want it for themselves

That's what leadership is So learn how to do that in every interaction that you have number eight

And store that restore that person with encouragement and with love This one is so important and it's the final one

What I've seen that often happens and you can take this to the bank it's happened so many times is

When you have prayed and you have repented and you have went with Scripture and you have went with love

And you have done all of the things that I'm talking about and you have a good meeting with someone and then they say thank

You so much. I appreciate that and you shake hands and you walk away and you think Thank God that that went so well and you don't follow up with them

You are inviting the enemy to mess with them because all of us are sinners and all of us are

Get embarrassed and when we are left to our own thoughts for a long period of time with no follow -up

We often assume the worst we end up believing lies And then we end up fleeing from that person because we have now in the knowledge gap that was created by the other person's absence believe the worst it happens so frequently

That what I would encourage you to do you don't have to do this But it is wise and it is loving when you've had a hard conversation with someone follow up with them

When you've had a hard conversation with someone tell them the next day. Hey, I love you

And I know we had a hard conversation. It was really helpful for me. I'm here for you if you need anything

It's that kind of follow -up actually that Jesus does with Peter on the beach when

Peter has denied Jesus three times and Jesus goes to Peter and what does

Jesus do? Well, he invites him to breakfast on the beach, which that's pretty that's pretty awesome

And then after breakfast on the beach he talks to Peter and he says Three things to Peter in restoring him and Peter.

Why did he do that? Because Peter denied him three times. So Jesus in restoring him restored him three times

He followed up with him three times in a row to make sure that the truth planted actually grew roots what

I'm saying is Don't be the kind of person who does all the work that you've done to get to the point to where you have the

Conversation and then you leave someone to their own imagination later This is why

I think Paul says in 2nd Corinthians 2 7 8 about the man who was caught in gross sin in 1st

Corinthians 5 he says so that on the contrary you should rather forgive and Comfort him the verb there is an ongoing verb.

It's a verb that's called in Greek continuous aspect It's comfort him and comfort him and comfort him and comfort him and comfort him

Otherwise such a one might be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow Therefore I urge you to reaffirm your love for him.

This is a biblical command. I'm not just saying helpful things here Because the tendency of our heart is to become overwhelmed by the sorrow of a situation.

It's actually useful Biblical and righteous for the people of God to follow up with them and to reassure them of God's love for them as an

Ongoing ministry to them so that they not become overwhelmed with their sorrow and This is where I want to end

Our little lessons our little rules for reproving Because this is also what

Jesus has done for us Because Jesus did not just leave us in the muck and the mire of our sin

Jesus left heaven and came down to earth for us and Jesus spent an entire life doing the righteousness that we could not do

Obeying the law in a way we could not obey Why? So that he could take the rebuke for us

So that he could take the offense for us so that he could take the bullet for us and at Calvary Jesus Christ took our place

He took the reproof of God that you and I deserved so that you and I could have the righteousness of God And why so that you and I could now participate in the redemption of God?

Jesus did not come down in a moment of a DD bluster save us and then forget us

I've saved you guys now. I'm gonna leave you here for a couple thousand years. Good luck No, you know why he left us here

He left us here to do his work on earth He is the head and we are the hands and the feet so if Jesus Christ has done this work for you and Pursuing you and loving you and be patient with you and being kind with you and showing abundant grace to you grace upon grace upon Grace upon grace upon grace to you that how much more as his hands and feet ought we to do the same for each other

When my head thinks something my body moves When Christ the head has said that we participate in his redemption

Let us the limbs follow suit and Love our brother and love our sister enough to correct them enough to correct them righteously and if you're the one being corrected enough to have it received humbly and Joyfully so that you can be like the wise man who says

I needed that. Thank you I love God more because you said that to me. Amen Let's pray

Lord certainly a difficult passage in our culture where Any little micro aggression will cause you to be canceled

Lord I pray that we would the Christian Church be able to lean into reproof a very uncommon doctrine

But we would be able to lean into it because of how many blessings that it affords

Lord I remember reading in a book one time that if you rake your yard all you will get is leaves

But if you put forth the blood sweat and tears to dig you might find a diamond Lord, this is this is one of those doctrines where if we will put forth the blood the sweat and the tears we will find the diamond of wisdom the diamond of love and the diamond of Stronger fellowship with our brothers and sisters in a time when our world is characterized by intersectionality and division

Lord help the people of God do this well so that we could grow deeper in love with you deeper in obedience and So that we can grow deeper in humility by crushing the pride

That exists in all of us Lord. Let us make war with these things and let us before each other