Couples Night — Keith Daniel

Thank you for the privilege of being here. I'm very grateful to God, and I have come to love America, to love American people. I don't think I would love America if I hadn't had the privilege of coming to the godliest of the godliest of the godliest across your land.

I've been very privileged to meet many, many godly people, and I'm very grateful for the godly people I've met here. And I thank John and Lynette and their lovely family, and Phil and his dear family.

I'm very, very grateful for that, too. If our light feature isn't working, you're not going to see anything for the next time. Where is the brother that's making the mistake so we can make him feel bad?

I don't know. Well, something's going wrong. Yes, it is. We may have to resort to that. Oh, it's fine now. Perhaps you put it too loud there, brother, and it just conked out a bit on the echo. So not too loud.

I do know how to make people feel bad, brother, so don't worry, okay? And I don't mean to do it. That's why everyone forgives me. I am very grateful to be here, and also not only to John and Lynette and her lovely family, but also to Phil and his dear wife and family, and to everyone else of you that I have had the privilege of having fellowship with, I do thank you that I could be brought back here.

I sat in the bachelor's corner tonight with four men whose wives haven't forsaken them, but they're not here with them. They've come from Indiana, and I had a lovely time fellowshipping with them, and thank them very much for the richness of the conversation and the way I could sense their love for Christ with all their hearts.

I was saying I do love America, and I honestly think I would never have wanted to come back to America if I hadn't come and met all the godly. I have just loved this land for the godly of your land. The devil might get the headlines in the newspaper of all he's doing and all his people, but God is doing great things also, and God has his people in this land.

Prayer for America and the Church

On your knees, you can bring America back to God. God waits for his people, though. Don't doubt that. But I sense there's coming a groan in the hearts of the godly, and when you hear a groan, that's when God starts moving.

And I'm beginning to hear it. For those I've been privileged to pray with across your land, a groan of despair for this land to come back to God, and I long to see your country coming back to God, and for my country.

Thank you to every one of you for coming here tonight, and thank you sincerely for giving me the privilege of preaching here tonight. I wonder if we could bow in a moment of prayer, if we could just bow before our God, and quieten our hearts, and just trust him to visit us here tonight, each one.

Our wonderful Father, we thank thee that we could have had this lovely time of fellowship and joy of sharing with each other our love for Christ, and all the things Christ has done for us. We thank thee for Jesus.

O Father, there is nothing we can thank thee for more than thy Son. We bless thee for thy love to mankind in giving thine only begotten Son. And we thank thee for his blood that was shed for us. We thank thee that by the blood of Jesus we were saved, not only from hell and damnation and condemnation, but saved from a life of self, that we could live for Christ, a purpose that's eternal.

For only what's done for Christ will last. And so we bless thee for Jesus, that there's something to live for, there's something to fight for, there's something to die for, because Christ has saved our soul.

O God, come now in thy mercy upon us, and keep us under the blood of Jesus, safe from all the powers of darkness. Rebuke thou the devil thyself, Lord, rebuke thou him away. Take his hands off this building, off this people, any influence he has on any life.

Rip his hands off, God, put him to flight. All the powers and principalities of darkness put to flight by the risen, resurrected power of Christ. Come and put our enemy away, Lord, from this place. Keep us sheltered under the blood of Jesus.

Surround us in this whole area with the angels of God, standing with swords drawn to do battle against the powers of darkness. And come thou, render heavens, and come by thy Spirit, Lord. Move upon us, visit us.

Take me, Lord, in mercy. Wash me in the blood, the holy blood of Jesus Christ. I have nothing but the blood to show thee, God. There's nothing I can commend myself, there's nothing. No reason I can bring to thee as to why thou shouldest come and bless through this weak man.

Other than the blood of Christ, I have nothing, God. Come, wash me in that blood. Now, God, through and through and through, that I may have the right to preach the holy word of God. Come, fill me with the Spirit of God, anew.

Anoint my lips and my mind, my heart, my very being. Come, stand beside me in the pulpit of God. Come, take every heart. Take away prejudice, take away unbelief, take away anger, take away hardness, take away blindness by the blood of Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

Take away everything that would hinder everyone sitting here tonight. From hearing God's voice, from seeking God with the whole heart. Come, honor and bless this service for thy glory, Lord. We all ask these things in the name of Jesus, the Christ, God, Savior, and Friend.

In the name of Jesus, the Christ, please answer this prayer. And for his sake, amen. There are many passages in the Bible that I have staggered over. I could take you to places that I stopped and I wasn't able to read past there for a long, long time.

Christ’s Example and the Calling of Wives

Until I just digested what God said. My conscience wouldn't allow me to read another word. So I went over and over and over and over. Until I felt God said, now you have the right to read on. One of those passages, which I think you all know and love, has so much to do with why a marriage is honored by God.

And Peter, the godly Peter, wrote these words in his letter. First epistle of Peter, chapter 3, he says, likewise. He wives, he starts with the wives. I love the word likewise in the King James. When you see the word likewise, you say, like what?

And so you have to look at the chapter before to see what he starts with. And of course, he's speaking of Jesus. Likewise. So looking at the passage before, the verses before in chapter 2, verse 19. For this is thankworthy, Peter says.

This is thankworthy. If a man, for conscience toward God, endure grief, suffering wrongfully. What has it got to do with marriage, you say? Well, that's why he starts with the wives. Because they're the only ones that will accept it.

Oh, God has to start so often in the home with a wife. They're so precious, so able to be molded in God's hands and able to bow and be nothing. So that the home can come to God in fullness. Likewise. I do love that word.

Brother, if this gives trouble, just put it over to the other one. So we're looking at what? Likewise, like who? For this is thankworthy. If a man, for conscience toward God, endure grief, suffering wrongfully.

For what glory is it when you be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently. But if when you do well and suffer for it, ye take it patiently. This is acceptable with God. For even here unto where ye call.

Because Christ also suffered for us. Leaving us an example that ye should follow his steps. Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth. And when he was reviled, reviled not again. When he suffered, he threatened not, but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously.

I love these words. Leaving us an example that ye should follow his steps. Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth. No reason for him to be treated wrongly. No reason. But when he suffered, he threatened not.

He was reviled, he reviled not again. Isn't that precious? And this aspect of Christ, lightness. God turns now. And he says in chapter three, likewise, ye wives, like Jesus, suffered. Not reacting. Not defending himself.

Or if you go back to Isaiah 53, he resists. He didn't say a word. Like a lamb at the slaughter. Sheep before his shears is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth. There's no reaction, there's no defense. Can God look to a woman and say, I want this of you, my daughter.

Likewise. Weighs a lot when you know like who and what of him God wants in your life. Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection. I don't know if that word's in the dictionary anymore. You've got to go to antique bookroom strips to find that it's out of our vocabulary even in the church today.

People don't like to hear the word subjection. He's living in the year 2001. Where's he coming from? Be in subjection to your own husbands. God says to this generation, you defy God if you don't. Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands.

That if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives. Likewise, ye wives, life, that's a staggering statement. While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear, whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of placing the hair and of wearing of gold or of putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man of the heart and that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit which is in the sight of God of great price.

But after this manner in the old time, the holy woman also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves being in subjection to their own husbands. Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters ye are as long as ye do well and not afraid of any amazement,.

Husbands’ Honor and Unhindered Prayer

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them. Remain faithful to them. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, using your common sense that God's given you all, quickened by the Holy Spirit in its context.

Dwell with them according to knowledge. Remain with them faithful to them. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife. Oh, if you don't, husband, you defy Christ.

It's not only obeying God by thou shalt not commit adultery. Do you obey God for a marriage to be God glorified? Giving honor unto the wife. Do you? Do your children know that you honor their mother in the way you speak?

Giving honor unto the wife. As unto the week of Esau, being heirs together of the grace of life. That your prayers be not hindered. I like that little phrase. A text to marriage. That your prayers be not hindered.

I think basically, it's saying that if you live right, if you obey God, His commandments, in marriage, God will answer your prayers. If you are what God wants you to be toward your wife, what God wants you to be toward your husband, your prayers will be answered if you obey God.

Generally, that's through the whole Bible. 1 John 3 verse 20. Beloved, if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart and knows all things. Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God and whatsoever we ask, we receive of Him because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.

Prayer is answered when our hearts don't condemn us in the light of God's commandments. Then we come to God with such a confidence and whatsoever we ask, we receive of Him because we keep His commandments, even the commandments concerning marriage.

But in its context, there's far more to this verse than just that prayers will be answered if you're right with God. In its context, there's so much more. You see, speaking of the prayers of a father and a mother, a husband, a wife, over their lifespan, when they pray together, it's more praying for their children than anything else.

Your prayers are more for your child if you're a saved man and woman than anything else you pray for to God as the children. And the greatest responsibility God places in your hands once you're married is the children.

And you will find that most of your prayers, earnest, true prayers from the heart, from then onwards as husband and wife are for those children over your life, that your prayers be not hindered. I want to read something to you, and I want you to all listen very carefully.

Oh, how our prayers will be hindered when we pray for our children if we were not holy in our marriage. When we pray for our children, how much of it, when we're forced to pray for our children, how much of it is for God to undo the damage we've done through the influences of our lives upon our children when we failed in front of them, when we failed in our marriage, things they witnessed.

Oh, how much is to undo the damage our lives did in our children's lives. I'm not talking about the normal prayer, but when you're forced to pray, Father, how much of it is the result of your failures.

How can you expect God to answer your prayers for your children to be holy? Do you pray that, Mother? When they leave and get married, do you pray that, Father? Oh, that they'll be holy and Christlike.

How can you expect God to answer your prayers for your children to be holy and utterly Christlike if you didn't show them that it's possible through the example of your life, even in marriage, especially in marriage, that your prayers be not hindered if you don't obey God concerning what He wants you to be, wife, what He tells you to be.

It weighs a lot. I was in a town a while back. A lady asked to see me, and I was unable to see her. So they squeezed in a little time because she persisted. She came to the home where I was staying. They put me in the lounge, sat with her, and after a while, as she sat there weeping, she spoke and said, I have a daughter who married a young man, and he told us he was saved.

He convinced us he's born of God. He's a Christian. And so he married my daughter. And there's been nothing but sorrow. And now he doesn't want her anymore. He wants to divorce. What can I do, she said.

What am I going to do? After a while I said, lady, could I shock you? Could I ask you, is it not possible that there's two sides to the story? Is it possible that it's not altogether his fault? You say he's not saved and you thought he was saved, but he couldn't be saved if he wants to divorce your child.

Is it possible that your daughter has something to do with that he doesn't want her? Is it possible that it's not just that he's unsaved because there's problems in the marriage? Is it possible that your daughter has a lot to do with this, that he doesn't want her?

That it's not just him? And she sat back in shock at first, and then tears came down her face, and she said these words, it is so. I didn't want to admit this, but it's her fault. But the worst part, sir, is I'm to blame.

You see, I was not the example I should have been in the home to my daughter of how a wife should be, how a Christian wife should be. I gave the wrong example to her. She treats her husband as I treated mine.

And I only know now how unhappy my husband must have been. He had grace not to throw me out. It's my fault, sir. I gave her the wrong example of what a mother should be, what a wife should be. She's just as I was.

She's just being what her mother was in marriage. Now that shocked me, what that woman said. Let your prayers be not hindered. When it comes to your children's, marriage is collapsing. Tell me, is she like you?

Is she like you, lady? What you showed her? The example. Let your prayers be not hindered. If you couldn't prove it to them in your life, oh, how hindered your prayers are going to be for them to live the life that you couldn't prove to them possible in marriage.

A Mother’s Example and Faithfulness Under Trial

I was in a town where there was this godly woman. And oh, what a woman of God she was. She stood out as a sore thumb amongst all God's people. Years went by, years and years and years. And I returned to that town.

Her little children had grown up. They had children of their own. And this godly woman was old now. I stayed in the home of her daughter while I was preaching in the same town now some 28 years later.

And they brought the old godly woman down for one meal. And after the meal when she left, I said to the daughter, you know your mother staggered me when I was in this town many years ago. Her life, her Christ-likeness, her gentleness.

It's like she has no ability to be unkind. There's nothing but kindness flowing out of her. No matter who has been spoken of, no matter who does wrong, there's just this inability to say an unkind word about anyone.

And I said, oh, her life is in impact even more now. And her daughter said to me, you don't know the half, sir. My father was not a good man. My father was like an animal. My father was like a monster.

We left. The way he treated my mother, when we were girls, there came a day I grabbed my mother and screamed, let's get out of the house. God doesn't want this of you, mommy. Let's get away from him. God doesn't expect you to live like this.

And our mother looked at me and my sister and said, no. When I said to God to death us two parts, for better or worse, I meant it. And my girls, I'm not leaving your father. I'm going to win into God.

Your father's not a psychopath. I would be the first to flee with you. He's just unsaved. He just needs God to save his soul. And that's what I'm praying for daily through my life. But listen, girls. And listen carefully.

Your father will stand before God one day. I will never stand before God to give account of anything your father did or said in his home. He will give account to God, though. He will have to give account to God.

But I will never have to give account to God for anything your father's done. But I will have to give account to God for how I reacted to your father's wrong. I will have to give account to God for what I said and how I reacted to anything he did.

I will have to give account. And I don't want to have to give account to God for any word I uttered, no matter what your father said or did. And this lady said to me, you know, Keith, my father did come to God through my mother's life.

He had to, in the end. But we never saw her fail God once in 53 years of marriage before he died. We, as girls, never saw our mother once fail God or was not utterly Christlike. And then she said these words, Now, we have husbands.

They're saved. But they're human. And they fail. But before we react, when our husbands fail, we remember our mother's life. And we remember her life before we speak when our husbands fail. You see, our mother lived a life proving to us that God gives all the grace you need and that no matter what your husband does, you can still be Christlike.

You don't need to fail because your husband fails. We're very careful how we react to our husbands' failures because of what we saw in our mother's life proving to us through the example of her life. Through the example of what we saw in her life.

When I courted my wife, I had a few socks, you know. I'd one day want to write a book on all that. But one of the first socks was my future father-in-law. He's a priest. He's a farmer. But he's known throughout our country as a priest.

He's one of the most loved priests of the land. He sits on the tractor working out the sermons for the next sermon he has to preach. And oh, thousands and thousands across our land just walk with God through his ministry and the impact of his life in preaching.

A very loved man. Well, when he saw me looking at Jenny, I think he got the fright of his life. He started preaching at me, you know. And he never stopped to this day. When I see my father-in-law, I just start to sit down and say, Preach!

He's making sure nothing goes wrong in this marriage. So he just has sermons and doesn't even let me have it. All I see from my father-in-law is sermons just flowing at me, you know, that he's worked out to keep me true.

Anyway, when I finally had the courage to sit down and ask him, Can I court Jenny? He sat back and he took the smile off his face and he looked at me and thought for a while. I began to tremble because I didn't think it was going to be quiet.

And then he said, Keith, I want you to do me a favor. I want you to have a good look at Jenny's mommy. I want you to have a long look at my wife, my boy. How she speaks, at her values, her reactions. I want you to look at my wife, Jenny's mommy.

That is what you will have in 20 years' time. Is that what you want, my boy? Will you be happy with that? Don't doubt it, Keith. And I don't want you to answer for it. I want you to think about it. And I sat back and I was shocked at that.

And then I said, I think it's wonderful. I think your wife is wonderful, sir. And you look happy. So he laughed. He really laughed. And he gave me permission to court Jenny. Tell me something. Can I ask all you ladies here?

Are you happy? Are you happy with that, if that is true? Your daughter will be like you in her marriage. The way you speak to your husband. The way you treat him. The way you conduct yourself in marriage.

And in that home. Are you happy with that? What she sees in you now. She's going to be that. I wonder if I could ask all you ladies. If you could just answer God on that, right now. Are you happy with that?

Will you please answer God? I really mean that. My daughter is going to be like me in her marriage. Oh, by the way, 20 years have passed. Jenny's daddy was right. She's just like her mother. In so many ways, it's uncanny.

He was right. Proverbs 30 verse 21. A shocking statement from the Bible. Listen. Four things the world cannot bear. What did you say that is, sir? Four things, God says, the world cannot bear. God says.

Well, I won't tell you three of them. But I'll tell you this one. And this is a shocking statement. Verse 23. An odious woman, when she is married. Difficult to explain what the word odious means. But it has a lot of meaning.

I would say the closest you can come to strong-willed, difficult, self-willed, difficult woman. The world cannot bear such a woman when she is married, God. John Wesley. One of the greatest soul winners in the history of the world.

Many say the greatest soul winner in the history of our church. Wesley never could be discouraged. That was one of the most remarkable things about him. They stoned him. Wonderful things that happened, you know.

Fifty men punching. And they all laid down cold. He was so short, they missed him. They knocked each other out. Tragic incidents that happened. But they ran him out of the town. They threw him over a cliff.

He just flew through the air, you know. They left him for dead. They threw stones on this man. Even the king of England had to step in to stop and say, This has to stop. This treatment of Wesley and his followers.

This cannot go on, all this stoning. Well, the king stepped in. And it started to slow down. But nothing discouraged Wesley. They say he got up and he laughed. And he walked back into the town. Nothing could discourage him.

Nothing could make him despondent. I wish I could be like that. One thing. Only one thing. Brought Wesley to despair. In his godliness. You know what that was? His wife. No one judged him. It wasn't his choice of marriage.

The only thing that drove that man. One of the godliest men that ever lived. That no one would ever put a question mark on his testimony. Or his walk with God. Was his wife. Was not godly. Was not Christ like.

Tell me. Are you a Sarah? Ladies. Are you like Sarah? The only example God gives in this whole passage about marriage. The woman. The one woman he mentions. Sarah. Are you like Sarah? In God's eyes and man's eyes.

In your marriage. Or are you like the woman that God says the earth cannot bear. Once she's married. Cannot bear. What happens when she's married? God says. What are you like? Quite a question to ask you.

You're all Christians here tonight. David's wife despised him. He was a man after God's own heart you know. It's possible that a man after God's own heart. Can have a wife that hates him. God says. You know that's possible.

She despised him. As he danced after the great victory. It wasn't the dance that made her despising in her heart. Of course it was the influence of her father. Not everybody has the cross to dare of having a father-in-law like Saul.

Or David. And Saul just lives to destroy David. I wonder if I can just speak for a moment just to fathers and mothers-in-law. Broaden this out a bit. Tell me do you live to destroy your... Do you know how many Christian marriages are destroyed by their in-laws?

Interfering. You may not throw a spear at him. But there are other spears to throw you know. Words. Unkind words. Undermining him. I can take you in America to Christian homes. Where the in-laws were the reason the marriage ended in divorce.

They so hated their son-in-law. Mainly because he was going through with God all the way. Tragic. Just for a moment I just hope there's no souls here tonight. How do you treat your David? For you to find a woman so hating her husband for many reasons.

For many reasons. I was once in a convention preaching and this man and lady came over to sit with me while we were having a meal. And they were talking about God. All the things of the things of God.

The church. The state of the church. The things of the convention. Just on a spiritual level. I hadn't seen them for many years. And this little girl ran up. Pretty little girly. And she looked at me standing with her mommy and daddy.

And they said this is our daughter. And I said oh my the last time I saw you you were a little baby in your mommy's arms. So the mommy said this is the man who preached. Standing preaching and telling us how to live right with God.

This little girl looked at me. She looked at her mommy and daddy for a while. And we just stood there looking at her. And she said preacher. My mommy and daddy always fight. Well I looked through the corner of my eye at mommy and daddy and their mouths fell open.

They always fight she says. My mommy every night cries and weeps and weeps and cries. And daddy screams and mommy screams. You must speak to them. Well I looked at the little girl. You know I could have been cruel and turn and rebuke that mother and father.

But I was also in a test. You have no right to ever be cruel. You know who failed. So I prayed. And I said little girly you are so beautiful. I'm sure your mommy and daddy love you so much. And I know God loves your mommy and daddy.

I know that they love him. And I know they want him to have his way in their life. And I know that God is going to help them to be happy. You know I got up and walked away. I didn't talk to them. I left that at that rather than to confront them.

The Tone of Love, Honor, and Holiness in Marriage

Who's to blame in a Christian marriage where there's just fighting all the time. You may say it doesn't happen. It does happen. It does happen. It happens so much it's unbelievable. Because you're a Christian doesn't mean you say you're going to have a happy marriage.

Oh no no. I want to ask every one of you here tonight. How is your marriage in the light of God's word? Where does love turn to hate in a Christian marriage? Why does love leave a Christian marriage? Who's to blame when the sweetness turns to sour?

When I was a little boy I was unsaved so was my parents. And my parents had friends. Beautiful lady and they would always have time of socializing together with this other married couple. But what was so different about this married couple was the way they spoke to each other.

They were very much in love. They called each other by these wonderful names you know. Sweetness and dewdrop and sunshine and honey pie and all sorts of amazing extreme statements of their love to each other.

But it was always these lovely names flowing you know. And of course mommy and daddy couldn't resist the temptation to joke a little bit about it at home. Honey pie. Rainbow. That's the other one. Rainbow.

Wow. They were in love. Anyway the years went by and one day daddy came home and said you know something's going wrong at home. I'm worried. So mommy says why? So daddy says it's the same word but it's a different tone.

He says sweetness and dewdrop and wow. That is a bit flabbergasting isn't it? That words like that can just through the change of tone change meaning. But I'd like to ask everyone here tonight and I want to ask you very very carefully.

Has the tone changed in the way you speak to your wife sir? Has the tenderness gone in the way you speak to your husband lady? You're Christians. You say you serve God. Do you still love your wife sir?

Do you still speak with such tenderness? Thank you. I want you to be utterly honest there now. I was in a German home. German are very different. I suppose coming from Mennonite background you might have a lot of German background here.

But this German man really was something different. We sat at the table eating a meal with him and his wife. Aunt Martha was her name. Aunt means auntie in our country. In our language. And he would speak you know.

He was saved. She was saved. But he was older and he would speak about all the different preachers that he knew from the movement that I came from and the years that had gone by and the things that had happened.

And after a long time of him speaking suddenly Aunt Martha decided just to say something. And this German man sat back you know and his eyes went. Just a little statement she dared to make. Martha. So I looked at him and I looked at her.

You know he sort of like just undermined what she said that she got the wrong side of it. So he carried on speaking and after a while she dared to say something and he said. Martha. So I got a bit uncomfortable you know.

After a while anything she said. I think the third time was the worst. Martha. You know. And I sat there and thought can't she say anything. Can't she say anything. There must have been a time there was tenderness in that man towards that woman.

There must have been a time when she was able to be a human. Her opinion meant a lot to him. There must have been a moment where her conversation was not buried when she opened her mouth as nothing. How does it happen in a Christian home that even your wife's opinion becomes something that makes you get irritated.

Where did the tenderness. When did the tone change in the way you spoke to her. In the way you spoke to him lady. That's an extreme case. Tell me does your wife. Do you give her a chance to be a person anymore.

Her opinion. Do you honor your wife sir. Anymore. Does she know she's honored. The people who walk into your home know she's honored. You know I can tell you how holy a man is by the way he speaks to his wife.

Don't doubt that now. I guarantee you. I can tell you how holy a man is. By the way he speaks to his wife. Full stop. I don't need anything else. And God knows. How many things and incidents happened to make me convince that the statement I'm making now is the truth.

How holy are you sir. In your marriage. Well just look at how you speak to your wife and that's how holy you are. Full stop. Don't doubt it. Don't doubt it. It doesn't work in the home. It doesn't work anywhere.

If she's un-Christ like. And you're un-Christ like. That doesn't mean that you are right with God. When I thought of uncle. Oh I nearly said his name. With son Martha. Paul says I suffer not a woman to speak in the church you know.

I forbid for a woman to. Let her keep silence in the church. But I think many men take it. And interpret it. The woman should never speak at all. In the home she must be in silence. Many Christian men honestly treat their wives that I suffer not a woman to speak.

Full stop. That's a tragedy. When did love leave your heart sir? When did the way you speak betray that your condition with God means you betrayed God and defied God's commandment to love your wives. To be not bitter against them.

To love them as Christ. To love the church. Oh my what a commandment. Do you? Do you? Well doesn't it matter that God expects that of you. I met a preacher once. Very well known preacher. When he heard I was getting married he walked along the beach front with me on the sand the shores of the sea.

Down there where we were preaching. And he was a very revered and wonderful preacher. But he said Keith can I give you some advice. You're getting married to Jenny. Can I give you some advice boy. Don't ever allow yourself to say an unkind word.

You don't have to. You can never take it back once it's said. Guard your lips from unkind words Keith. No matter how much stress comes on you. Run out of the door before you answer rather than say an unkind word.

Because once unkind words start in a marriage. It's almost impossible to get back the tenderness. It's only unkind words that you allow to take away the tenderness in a Christian marriage. And you don't have to say them.