Forgiving and Being Forgiven — Roy Hession

When I go to Germany, and I do sometimes, and I have to speak to an interpreter, I sometimes might use the word guilt. And the German word for guilt, I hear my interpreter say, it is schuld, S-C-H-U-L-D.

And then in another place I might use the word debt, about something. And I hear him using exactly the same word, schuld. There's one word, and one word only for guilt and debt. And in the German language, indeed, at least, debt and guilt are the same.

Guilt as an Unpaid Debt Before God

And that's what guilt is. That God has got a claim for you for reparation, and you have nothing with which to pay. And you're dogged for the rest of your life with the sentence of that unpaid debt, until you know that God, for Christ's sake, who paid that debt, has forgiven you.

And then you're free, and the old account is settled long ago. Someone's got to suffer the loss of sin. It's either you or the Lord, and the Lord's decided, can you believe it, it's going to be Him, that you and I might go free.

And so let us cry and praise God for this great miracle of grace. Who is a pardoning God like me? Who is prepared to forgo His right to that extent, and to suffer the loss in the person of His Son, to let guilty, daring sinners like ourselves, little wonder that He that's forgiven much, loves much.

Forgiveness Produces Holiness and Love

And of course, this is God's way of achieving holiness. He doesn't achieve holiness to the Christian by saying, my, if you're not a good boy, you'll go to hell, you've got to watch your step. He forgives you freely.

And that forgiven one loves the one who's lifted the debt from offence much, and isn't going to pay with the very thing that once he used to pay with. There's an old chorus we sometimes sing in England, I know I owe.

A debt of love to Him I know I owe, back to my sin. I dare not go, because a debt of love I owe. It isn't the debt, the old debt. That's been cancelled long ago, but I'm in chains now. Loving chains to the one who's forgiven me.

So there is God forgiving us for Christ's sake. Now He says, the forgiven one is to forgive those that trespass against Him, in the same way that I... Now maybe you know gratefully what I've been saying, it's true for you.

This is the basis of your Christian life. You are a forgiven man, and forgiven at tremendous cost. And you're to demonstrate that, I'm to demonstrate that, by forgiving the other man, when he trespasses.

You don't need me to enumerate the various parables, and illustrations and injunctions there are, that we who have been forgiven, should forgive. And I believe we are often put in the same position as God was, but in a lesser degree.

The Creditor’s Claim and the Call to Forgive

We have those who wrong us. Those who hurt us. Perhaps in large matters, or the terrible wrongs, that one man can perpetrate against another. Or it may be in smaller matters, the daily pinpricks of life.

People say things, do things, that hurt us, that wound us, that disturb us. We suffer loss, large or small, at the hands of such people. And because of that, we, like God, have a claim on them, for reparation.

What the reparation is that you think you've got a claim for, you're not always sure, you don't know what form it should take. Perhaps you've got a claim on them for an apology at least. It could be a claim on them for some money, that ought to be paid back.

Anyway, there's the feeling, and you hold it against them. You're in the position of the creditor, and they are in the position of the debtor, and they owe something for what they've done. It's at that point the Lord says, I want you to do to that person, what I've done for you.

Do you know that verse in Mark 11, 25? When you stand praying, forgive, if you have fought against any. There's something in your heart that you've got against another man. He's done you a dirty trick.

He's said words. He's passed you by. He's hurt you. Tell me, is there anybody against whom you have something in your heart? He shouldn't have done it. It wasn't right. Granted. Granted. We shouldn't have done what we did to God.

It wasn't right. He could have said that, and you can say the same. Now it says, all right. Now the stage is set for you to do something, the most God-like thing you've ever done. I remember going to a church in another state.

And there was grave trouble in the church. And they thought perhaps if I came and took some meetings, that would settle it. It didn't actually. It never does. Because the people who need the message just never show up.

Everybody else showed up. Except... But one day the man did show up, who had caused so much trouble. And he began telling me about this, that and the other, about the past and other situations. And I said, look, I'm going to tell you something.

I've found the answer. I've got the whole answer for the situation. And I tell you, it's going to solve it overnight. What's that? Forgive him. Forgive him! And I tell you, brother, if you do, it'll be one of the most God-like things you've ever done.

And so it is, the larger matter. The smaller pinprick matters. You and I have got to be men who are prepared to forgive. And it's going to mean the same for us, in measure, as it meant for the Lord. You can't forgive without foregoing your claim.

You can't forgive if you insist, it's not right! I'm not going to stand for that! And you get other people for you to think the same. When you enlist their support, I'm not going to stand for it, it isn't right!

You're not forgiving, you never can, unless you're prepared to forgo that stand. Forgo your point and be prepared to suffer the loss and take it. Understand this. Whether the matter is large and some things are terribly large, we're called upon to forgive.

You cannot forgive without foregoing your rights in the matter and consenting. Consenting to be treated that way. Now, you've got it? You were treated a certain way, will you forgive that? You cannot, unless you consent to be treated that way.

But who are you anyway? It's very pride that thinks otherwise. And I want to tell you, if you don't know what a big thing it is for God to forgive, what He's had to forgive, you start forgiving somebody and you'll be in an agony of a struggle.

You'll be struggling with your... Because friends, although we subscribe mentally to the concept of forgiving, when it comes down to the nitty-gritty and you see it means foregoing and consenting to suffer the loss and be treated that way, it's another matter altogether.

And all too often, we're not willing. And instead of releasing that man in your heart, we hold resentment and bitterness. When that person's name comes up, we always think of that thing. When they cross our path, there's coldness in our hearts towards that person.

It could be between husband and wife. It could be between us and somebody at work. It could be between us and another Christian. Very and very often, people don't forgive. And they think they've got a perfect right not to forgive.

After all, what the other person did was wrong and everybody agrees. So was what you did to God wrong. But He's waived the issue, taken it. He's suffered it. And the matters at issue between you and Him were vastly bigger than the pathetic little matters between us and other people.

The Parable of the Unforgiving Debtor

And I'm afraid all too often I include myself in this. Our attitude is just like the man in the parable. Although he'd been forgiven a vast debt of $6 million, he wasn't going to be deprived of $20 from his thorough service.

Well, he said, it's owing to me. It was. I've got a claim on him for $20. I don't know how that debt was incurred. Might have borrowed it or might have even stolen it. But no matter how it originated, it was a debt.

And he had a claim on it. And the law of that land said there was a debtor's prison for the man who couldn't or wouldn't pay his debt. And he was right within his rights. But he was asked to take up an attitude of grace toward that man.

Commence it in some small degree with that attitude of grace and magnanimity which that king took up for him. He seemed to have forgotten how great that debt was. And he was insisting on his pathetic rights over that matter and not willing to say, let it go, brother.

I release him. He wasn't. And dear friend, this is our battle. And there's no one that doesn't have this battle. Or if you haven't had much of it yet, it's coming. And when I'm in the middle of a battle like this and I'm bashing with this old ego of mine, the Lord sometimes had to say to me, Roy, if I can't take this, what more can you take?

Because there's plenty more coming. Man, have you been hurt? If you can't get through on that and lay your rights down and forgive that man, I want to tell you, what else can you take? There's lots more coming.

This is life. And even as the saints, we are a people that do hurt one another. For we ought to be a people that forgive one another. But because of pride, that is a thing we don't do. Did you realize that an unforgiving spirit is based on pride?

You're not willing to forgo. You're not willing to be treated that way. My friend, Jesus was. And you know you've got the option. I've got the option. This situation I'm doing like this, I'm doing about the most God-like thing, the most Christ-like thing, you've had a chance.

I'll take it. I'll forget it. I'll say, let it go, brother. Forgive me for adopting any other attitude over this than that. Sometimes, of course, the wrong that's been inflicted is so deep and so grievous.

And the surrender of rights in the matter is terrific. When one married partner betrays another, it's not a big cost to surrender on that point if it's going to be forgiven. You see, you can't forgive that.

Are you going to go on then with that unforgiving spirit? It'll eat out your very heart and wreck your Christian life. But the surrender involved in forgiving is terrific. It means forgoing. It means consenting.

Consenting for it to have been that way. Now, this is very difficult for us. And the problem really arises because we think that to forgive means that we approve. And I believe that is one of the difficult things.

It might mean you're called upon to forgive the behavior of a child, a young person. And you think to forgive that is to approve it. It doesn't mean you approve it at all. What it does mean is you're prepared to suffer it.

Got it? That's all it means. And that is the real crux of the matter. And sometimes when I've seen people having to fight through this battle to make this surrender, I've wanted to avert my gaze. I can hardly bear to look upon it.

But they've done it. And they've emerged into peace and blessedness and freedom. On the other hand, it may not be an issue like that. It may be just the daily thin tricks of life. And yet, the cost is always the same.

The willingness to give up our rights in the matter. As I say, it does indeed affect us, the Christian life, if we fail to. I'm thinking of a couple that Pam and I know in another state. There had been secret unfaithfulness on the part of the wife.

When at a time of revival she felt she couldn't keep her secret any longer. And she had to confess this thing to her husband. He forgave her. It was a big thing to forgive, but he forgave her. And their marriage was remade.

And they used to go round to some of the churches with the testament how Jesus can remake a marriage. But when later, subsequent to this experience, we were with them, we discerned that whereas she was happy in the Lord, there was something still lacking in that man's experience.

And as we talked, it came out that whereas he'd forgiven her, he'd never forgiven that public man who had seduced his wife. And he said to me, you know Roy, anytime I like, I can ruin him! And they used to go round to some of the churches with the testament how Jesus can remake a marriage.

Forgiving the Unrepentant Offender

But when later, subsequent to this experience, we were with them, we discerned that whereas she was happy in the Lord, there was something still lacking in that man's experience. And as we talked, it came out that whereas he'd forgiven her, he'd never forgiven that public man who had seduced his wife.

And he said to me, you know Roy, anytime I like, I can ruin him! And this was the missing link in his spiritual life. He wasn't really filled with the Spirit. Getting on up to a point, but stopping there!

That was a big thing, to forego his claim. But he did it, and wrote and told that man. In his heart he could regard it as forgiven. The man hadn't repented as far as I know, hadn't to this day, but in his, on the part of my friend, it had gone.

And that man was told, he need no longer regard himself as under threat. But you see, if only a person would repent, that would make it much easier. If that other man had repented, that man, my friend, would not have held that bitter spirit towards him for so long.

And yet I believe, even before there's repentance, our attitude, we've got to get through to that place where we're ready to forgive. Where it's completed, where the surrender has been made. Of course, the relationship can yet not be established and forgiveness really experienced by the other until there's been confession by that other.

And so with God, there's got to be confession. And yet with the Lord, that old account has already been settled by Jesus on the tree. I heard the story from East Africa of how on a certain tea plantation, which was actually a great center for revival.

The owner was a Christian and many of the revival Christians worked there. They used to have a daily fellowship meeting. Not all, of course, were Christians, but a great bunch of them were. We loved to go there.

Forgiveness and Repentance in East Africa

And there was one dear Christian and he had to suffer the grievous loss of another African seducing his wife. And when he went to work, he had to suffer the pain of seeing her living in the actual house quite near to him with this man who had seduced her.

Well, the other Christians rallied round and comforted him. And he walked that lonely path in peace. I don't want to make a point. I've told telling you two stories about seduction. I'm not majoring on this more than any other.

They just happen to illustrate the principle. It can be something quite other, but the principle is the same. And he walked with the Lord in that difficult path in peace. And then there came a time when a new wind of the Spirit began to blow.

There was a new preaching of the Gospel in those areas. And people were being saved. And amongst them this very man, who done this dastardly deed. And when he was saved, the first thing he did was to see his sin as it really was.

And he went to that other brother to beg his forgiveness. And that brother said, there's nothing to forgive the day you took her. What did he mean? He made the necessary surrender. Decided to forgo his claim, so to speak.

And from that day, forgiveness was on tap for that man the moment he confessed. Yes, it was complete as far as his heart was concerned, but it couldn't be an actual experience until that confession. But the wonderful thing was that that man discovered that the account so to speak, in that man's life, had been settled, had been finished.

The whole situation was resolved in a way that wonderfully glorified God. And so it is with God. Do you know, He forgave you, potentially, the day you did it. The many days when you've taken up wrong attitudes and this, that and the other.

He did it because the old account was settled long ago. It's available. God is not against the sinner. God was in Christ reconciling the world unto Himself, not imputing unto them their trespasses. Do you get that?

Not imputing unto them their trespasses. Do you know God's not blaming sinners? It says so. God was in Christ reconciling the world unto Himself, not imputing unto them their trespasses. He's imputed them unto His Son.

The old account for every man's been settled long ago. But that man, this man, that man doesn't know the good of it until at last he repents and comes back to God who faith in Christ. But the old account's been settled even before.

What a wonderful thing it is to come as a penitent to discover it's been done. And you know we've got to have something of that same attitude. And it means, over this or that thing that's been bothering you, you and I need to get to that place.

Reconciliation Requires Humility

And often at the foot of their cross where Jesus gave up everything for us and said, Lord I'm going to lay my right down at thy dear feet. But someone says, why should it be always me who has to do the forgiving?

Listen! It's not going to be always you. One day it will be you forgiving, but the other day it will be you having to ask to be forgiven. Because I remind you that whereas Mark says, when you pray, forgive if you have ought against any.

Matthew 5 says, when you pray and bring to the altar your gift and there remember that your brother has ought against you leave your gift and be reconciled to your brother. In the first text it's if you have ought against another.

In the other text it's if the other has got ought against you. And you know some of them have. Almost certainly the way you acted has created a reaction. Then quit praying until you got right. Leave your gift and go and be reconciled to thy brother.

And you know the next verse in Matthew 5 tells us how to be reconciled to your brother. Do you know how? Or have a long argy-bargy discussion? No, no, no. Jesus says, agree with thine adversary quickly.

Say, brother I was wrong. And in that argument he said I was wrong. And I wouldn't have it but I agree now. I agree with my adversary quickly. And it's over. Someone has said it takes two to make a quarrel.

One can make it up. Only one can agree with thine adversary quickly. And so it isn't always me having to do the forgiving. There'll be occasions when I know I've hurt another, wronged another. And my friend, you have to on that occasion be the one who asks to be forgiven.

But that's part of the package deal. That's Christian fellowship. Forgiving and being forgiven. One day forgiving, the other day asking to be forgiven. And I want to tell you when that's the case love grows up.

Fellowship grows up. It's not an innocent person forgiving a guilty person. The whole lot of us are guilty. And all of us have been reprieved by divine grace who've pled to Jesus for refuge. And it's simply a matter of one guilty man forgiving another guilty man.

Grace for Fellow Lawbreakers

It ill befits one thief to be so concerned about his rights that he'll take to task the other thief when he steals from him. It ill befits one man who's breaking the speed limit to hoot furiously for that man to get out of the fast lane so that he can get beyond him.

I've had that. I must confess I've been in the fast lane. But after all I'm afraid I was exceeding the speed limit. But as a fellow comes up behind me with a great Mercedes and they normally in Germany travel 120, 150 miles an hour quite easily I'm just doing a Kuwaiti.

That doesn't quite as bad as it sounds. Because we're allowed to do 70 in England. And there's this man furious at me for occupying the fast lane. It's rather ironical. There are two law breakers pointing at one another.

Both of them sort of had a ticket. Both of them. And so it is with us. And so we have this lovely description of hallelujah fellowships. Of love. A wonderful forgiving, accepting fellowship. And maybe the Lord's already spoken to you about someone against whom you have something.

Why not forgive him? Why not settle it? You've criticized this or that person at home. Why not tell them at home, look God showed me. And if the other has disturbed fellowship with the other person you could even tell them too.

Oh what a relief. Or could it be it isn't that you have something against somebody else but you know somebody else has something against you. And in the light of God you can see there's truth in it. I've had cases like that.

The Lord's shown me. I know that so and so has had it in for me. And I've justified myself but how can I justify myself at Calvary when the holy right took the place of the holy wrong for me. When he bowed his head, how can I stiffen my neck?

Calvary, Confession, and Cleansing

And so this is this wonderful place where we're all joined together. The place called Calvary. Lord bend that proud and stiff necked eye. Help me to bow the head and die beholding him who bowed his head to me.

And there there's a fountain open for sin and uncleanness to which it's expected you'll gain often to have recourse. Did you know that? There's a fountain open for sin and uncleanness and you it's expected you'll often have to have recourse to it.

It's not a surprising thing to the Lord when you do. That's what Jesus is there for. That's what the blood of Jesus is for. And just as often as the devil tries to get in, I go to Calvary. And then my burdens are rolled away.

Things are resolved. Relationships are healed. Love comes in again. God grant that you you'll be able to start with the first. And all in the light of the fact that he went thou first. You're not walking a path that he hasn't walked for you first.

Humbling, yes, but not so humbling as it was for Jesus. I want you to sing that chorus. He went all the way for me.

He went all the way for me. All the way he went for me.

From heaven above, from.

Heaven above to Bethlehem he went all the way for me. From heaven above to Bethlehem he went all the way for me. From Bethlehem to Jerusalem he went all the way for me. From Bethlehem to Jerusalem he went all the way for me.

From Jerusalem to Calvary he went all the way for me.

From Jerusalem to.

Calvary he went all the way for me. From to heaven above he went all.

The way for me. From Calvary to heaven above he went all the way.

For me. And the amazing grace of it from heaven into my heart he went all.

The way for me. From heaven above into my heart he went all the way.

For me. Very difficult, isn't it, when you see him like that to say him nay, isn't it? Isn't it? Because I'm not saying it, it's he. Can you say him nay? The grace of it into your heart, couldn't it? When I know what's gone on in my heart, he comes in nonetheless to soften it, to melt it, to humble it, to bring it to his, to his, to the blood again.

To help us to give up that disputed point again. Wonderful. Praise the Lord. That last verse again. From heaven above into my heart he went all.

The way for me. From heaven above he went.