Married and Buried — Warren Wiersbe

Romans 7 and the Believer’s Union with Christ

I shall read from Romans chapter 7, the first six verses. Know ye not, brethren, for I speak to them that know the law, how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? For the woman who hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he liveth.

But if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then, if while her husband liveth she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress. But if her husband be dead, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ, that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God.

For when we were in the flesh, the sinful impulses which were by the law did work in our members to bring forth fruit unto death. But now we are delivered from the law, having died to that in which we were held, that we should serve in newness of spirit, and not in the oldness of the letter.

I would add to this passage from chapter 6 of Romans, beginning with verse 1. What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we that are dead to sin live any longer in it?

Know ye not that as many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death? Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death, that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection, knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.

The resurrection of Jesus Christ means newness of life. A couple I was going to marry some years ago went through a rather difficult experience. Three days before the wedding, the groom's father passed away, and of course the families had to make a decision.

Should we postpone the wedding? But if you set a new date, somebody else could die. You're never quite sure about dates. And many people were coming in from out of town, and so they compromised and decided to go ahead with the wedding, but cancel the reception, which I thought was a very wise move.

And so this couple had the unique experience of attending a wedding and a funeral on the same day. But this is exactly what happened to you when you trusted Christ as your Savior. Actually, when you received Jesus Christ as your Savior, you attended a birth, a wedding, and a funeral all at the same time.

Now, it isn't the birth I want to talk about just now, although that is a rather popular subject. The new birth, being born again, has even hit the front covers of our news magazines. I want to talk about these two experiences of birth, of burial, and of marriage, a funeral and a wedding, because all of this is wrapped up in what happened to Jesus Christ.

So many times at special seasons of the year, like Palm Sunday and Easter and Christmas, we look at the historic events, and as it were, we dust the dust off of the artifacts of the past. But these are more than historic events.

These are spiritual realities based upon historic events. And so the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ touches each of us today. And in order to make it meaningful to us, I want to use this passage in Romans chapter 7, and talk about what it means to be buried and to be married.

Because if we understand these two experiences, married to Christ, buried with Christ, the wedding and the funeral, if we understand these two experiences, we'll understand what it means to live the kind of a vibrant and victorious and exciting and abounding life that the Lord wants us to live.

We are standing today as Christians on resurrection ground, and alas, too many people who profess to be Christians are still standing at the cross, or they're living between Good Friday and Easter Sunday, and this is not the way we're supposed to live.

There's something better for us. There's something beyond living by circumstances and living by our own feelings. There's something bigger and greater for each one of us as Christians. And therefore the message today, if you and I understand these two experiences of marrying and burying, then I think we'll lay hold of the secret of what it means to be an Easter Christian, to be a New Testament Christian, an enjoying Christian, an enlarging Christian, one who isn't just simply enduring being born again.

Salvation as Marriage to the Risen Christ

Let's take this first experience. When you trusted Christ as your Savior, you were married to Christ. Now this is what he tells us in Romans chapter 7 verse 4, that ye should be married to another even to him who is raised from the dead.

Now the law will not permit you to marry a dead person. I have seen some grooms who look very close to that, but that's only because of nervousness and fear and frustration. If someone were to call me and say, Pastor Wiersbe, I'd like to get married, well, where is your boyfriend?

Well, he's in the cemetery. I'd say, well, I think you need a doctor, because we don't marry living people to dead people. That's the difference, you see, between the Christian faith and any other faith.

Any other faith points to people who are gone. Our Christian faith is based upon the Jewish faith, but Moses was never raised from the dead, nor was Joshua. And you can go right down the line and take the great religions of the world and discover that you can have no living relationship to the people who founded them.

This is why we even hesitate to call the Christian faith a religion. For when you use the word religion, you sort of conjure up the idea of something that somebody manufactured and put together. But our Christian faith is not a man-made religion.

It's based on a miracle, that you might be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead. Now, how did this marriage ever happen? Well, he took the first step. Our Lord Jesus Christ, the Heavenly Bridegroom, loved us.

Even when we were unlovely, He loved us. Even when we were sinners, He loved us. Even when we were enemies fighting God, He loved us. Now, I suppose each of us has gone to a wedding, and we've come away, and in a kindly manner we have said, what in the world does He see in her?

Aren't you glad you don't have to choose mates for other people? It's difficult enough to get your own. Well, I could say to the Lord Jesus, what in all of the universe did you ever see in us? He surely didn't love us because we loved Him.

We loved ourselves. When He loved us, we were selfish people, wrapped up in the little garments of our own weaving, and we were so proud of ourselves. And we were dirty. And we were dead. We were disobedient.

And yet, He loved us. That's why the Scripture says, herein is love. Here's real love. Not that we love God, but that He loved us. We love because He first loved us. Now, every wedding had better begin with love.

Some place down the road, two people had better say, you know, we love each other so much, we just have to live together the rest of our lives. That's a question I often ask couples when they come in preparation for marriage.

I look the groom square in the eye and I say, do you love her enough to want to live with her the rest of your life? Yes, I do. Suppose that three weeks after the ceremony, she is paralyzed and you have to care for her.

Do you love her enough to take care of a paralyzed wife? Yes, I do. You trust that two people get married because there's some love. Now when I got married to Jesus Christ, He first loved me. And He proved His love by dying for me.

Now I can understand a husband dying for a wife. I can understand a wife dying for a husband. Here are two people who have pledged their love to each other. But here is one who when he died for me, I didn't love him.

Here is one who when he died for me, I was an enemy. And He proved His love. God proved His love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

But would you believe he laid down his life for his enemies. So how did this marriage come about? He took the first step. He loved us. He spoke to us in love. Through His Holy Spirit, by His Word, He spoke to us in love.

And we had to respond to His love. You see, salvation really is like marriage. When Paul uses this word in verse 4, he's using a good word. The Greek word can be translated joined or married. When we believed on Jesus Christ, we were married to Him.

Now someone says, I can't understand that. All right, then forget that you're in a church service. And just imagine that you're at a wedding. And here stands a groom and here comes the bride. And I have to go through a certain ceremony.

Now interestingly enough, this ceremony is not in the Bible. In fact, nowhere in the Bible is a pastor given the authority to marry anybody. We get this authority from the county clerk and the county court.

But when I look at this couple, I don't say to the groom, do you know about this girl? Nor do I even say, do you have feelings about this girl? Now knowing and feeling are important. I do not discount them one bit.

I think it would be an awful thing to marry a stranger, someone you really did not know. I had a roommate at seminary who was a lovely fellow. And he told me one day, he said, you know, I saw a girl and I said, she's going to be my wife, and within a month they were married.

That's a little fast. They're very happy, I thank the Lord it worked out as well as it did. Sometimes it does. But you see, this young man and this young woman who stand there already know each other, but they aren't married.

He knows the kind of food she likes and she knows the kind of sports he enjoys. It's interesting to counsel with couples and say to the fellow, now if you were going to plan an evening to make her really happy, what would you plan?

He'd say, duh, he doesn't really know. And I'd say to her, now look, what three things does he really enjoy doing the most? I remember asking that question and she ticked off three things and he said, I don't enjoy those things at all.

You see, they didn't know each other. But let's assume that they know each other. They still aren't married. Let's assume they have feelings toward each other. The knowledge that begins in the head gets down to the heart and one day, bloop, it just tips over and you find yourself in love.

You aren't tripped into love or trapped into love. It's just something that just comes as you get to know each other. But I don't say to the groom, do you have feelings about this girl? What is it that makes them married?

The knowledge in their mind? No. The feelings in their heart? No. Will you, will you take her to be your wedded wife? I will. Will you have this man to be your wedded husband? I will. Now that's what gets you married.

It's an act of the will. I have met people who tell me they have wonderful thoughts about Jesus. That doesn't make them married. They have wonderful feelings about Jesus. They can go to a church service and hear a lovely organ in the choir and they can just go into rapturous feelings about Jesus.

That doesn't make them married. It's not until we respond and say, I will. That's why the last invitation in the Bible says, whosoever will, let him take of the water of life freely. Jesus said one day, you will not come unto me that you have eternal life.

It's not a matter of ignorance. It's not a matter of emotion. It's a matter of the will. How are we married to Jesus? By faith we say, I will. And we receive Him and He receives us. Now, when you are married to Jesus Christ, you are automatically handed the greatest blessings in all the world.

You see, when a person gets married, he gets a new name. She gets a new name, the bride. And no matter what the husband's name may be, that's the name of the bride. Now, some cultures don't do it that way, but that's the way we do it in our Western culture.

A new name. When you receive Christ and were married to Him, you received a new name. My old name, sinner. My new name, saint. My old name, lost sheep. My new name, Christian. I belong to the family of Christ.

It's a great name. You get a new name. And you know, with that name, you get a new position. Now, your name determines your position. It's your name that makes the check valid. It's your name on the card that gets you through the door.

I recall once, when we were in Washington, D .C., my son and I were going to go through the White House. And a friend of mine knew someone on the social staff of the White House, and so we got the backdoor tour.

And she had called and made all the arrangements. And David and I walked up to the gate where those guards stand, and they can see right through you. I don't know how they train them that way. And he said, yes, sir.

And I said, Warren Wearsby and David. I had to show him some credentials. Yes, sir. Your name is on the list. And we walked in. I felt so real happy, because all sorts of tourists were standing there with their mouths open saying, who is that famous man?

It was all done through a name. And when you receive Christ and you're married to Him, you have a new name. You can start writing checks. If you ask anything in my name, I will give it to you. In His name, we tread down scorpions.

In His name, we can fight lions. Satan is not the victor. You get a whole new position. We're seated with Christ in the heavenlies. Some married couples go home and don't have any place to sit. They have to use orange crates and things like that.

But when you got married to Jesus, He said, you know what? I'm going to put you on a throne. And we're seated with Christ in the heavenlies. We have new riches from poverty to wealth. We have a new protection, casting all your care upon Him.

He cares for you. When the wife looks to the husband, she looks for provision and protection. And when we look to Jesus Christ, He provides for us. And He never leaves us and never forsakes us. We have a wonderful new hope.

I think one of the joyful things about marriage is when the couple can just look forward to the future together. You know, where two people love each other and trust each other, faith and love produce hope.

That's why faith, hope, and love always go together. When you lose faith, you lose hope. When you lose love, you lose hope. But when you have faith and love, there's always something to look forward to.

And when we're married to Jesus Christ by faith and we learn to love Him and we know how much He loves us, the future's always bright. I meet so many people in the city of Chicago who dread tomorrow. They just dread tomorrow.

They can hardly endure today and they wish they could forget yesterday. What an awful way to live. Look at the calendar and groan and moan another day. It's sort of the Charlie Brown complex. Charlie Brown said he always looked at the morning paper so he'd know what to dread that day.

Are you like that? Then get married to Jesus Christ because when you're married to Him, every day is just an exciting new day. Oh, there may be difficulties. It's all right. It's an exciting new day. There's some new lesson to learn.

There's some new blessing. And you know what? One of the beautiful things about marriage is you're always finding deeper depths in your mate. You're always discovering, you know, I didn't know that about you.

I didn't realize that. As you grow together and go deeper, all new facets of life open up to you. Now, when a marriage gets stagnant and embalmed, that doesn't happen. But when a marriage is full of life and faith and love, there's always hope.

And every day you learn something new about Jesus. When you open the Word of God and He talks to you and then you talk to Him in prayer. Did you know that the average married couple in the United States in one week speaks together uninterrupted without any problems to discuss, just talks together 37 minutes?

The average husband and wife spend 37 minutes just talking about things that they want to talk about apart from problems and the children and the dog and the lawn and the house. That's terrible. To be married to somebody and devote 37 whole minutes a week to getting to know each other.

Some Christians are this way. We're married to the Lord Jesus and we have a wonderful new fellowship and a new protection and new hope and a new home. A new home. I go to prepare a place for you and I will come again and receive you unto myself.

And a new purpose. Now, Paul tells us what this purpose is in verse 4 of Romans 7, that we should bring forth fruit unto God. Couple gets married and then after some time, they start having a family. That's what he's talking about.

We're married to Jesus Christ that we might produce fruit for His glory, the fruit of the Spirit. Winning other people to Christ, serving the Lord. It's a beautiful experience. When you're married to Jesus Christ, you move into a relationship of faith and love and hope that's growing and expanding and enriching.

It's not dull and drab. But the way some Christians live, you'd think it was dull and drab. Some of the saints live as though they wish they could get a divorce. And that's tragic. That's sad. Which leads us to this second experience and the two go together.

Buried with Christ and Dead to the Old Nature

Not only were you married to Christ, but you were buried with Christ. Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ, that ye should be married to another. When you were saved, you went to a wedding and then you went to a funeral.

Now, the chronology of this eludes us because God does not work according to my clock. You know, what comes first, regeneration or faith? Or is it faith that brings regeneration? Which is first, buried with Christ or married?

God does not work according to chronology. Instantly, many things happen to us when we trust the Lord Jesus as we move into this experience of eternal life. But let's suppose we just got married to the Lord Jesus.

We've just trusted Him and we belong to Him. We're joined together. We've become one with Him. He is bone of our bone and flesh of our flesh. We are united to Him. We're a part of Him and He's a part of us.

Then He says to us, now, the very first thing we're going to do is go to the cemetery. And you say, well, Lord, why are we going? That's an odd place for a honeymoon. Cemetery. No, He said our honeymoon is yet to come.

But you and I are not going to be able to have a happy marriage until we go to the cemetery. Because you have brought into this marriage some things we have to get rid of. By the way, everybody brings into a marriage some things that ought to be buried.

Every man, every woman brings into a marriage emotions, attitudes. Some men treat their wives as ugly as they treated their mothers. Some women see in their husbands things about their father. They didn't like.

All of us bring into a marriage a past history. Now, the good part of that history helps to make for a good marriage. But the bad part of that history can make for a bad marriage. And in marital counseling, one of the things we have to do is to get couples to see where they're bringing into the marriage things that don't belong there.

And so my Lord says to me, you have brought into this marriage some things we have to get rid of. Let's go to the cemetery. What are we going to do? We're going to bury some things. What are we going to bury?

The law. And we're going to bury the old nature. You see, in Romans chapter 6, Paul says that we crucified in Christ the old man. Now, you bring the old man into a wedding, you've got problems. And you know what the old man means, this old nature of ours.

The evil propensities of our old nature. And Jesus says to me, now look, if you're going to bring that old man into our home, we're not going to get along. I want you to walk in newness of life. I died for you, and when I died, I took that old nature of yours and I crucified it.

When I was buried, I buried that old nature. And when I arose from the dead, I left it there. It's beautiful to read the resurrection accounts of our Lord Jesus. When Peter and John looked into the tomb, lo and behold, the tomb was not empty.

Now, you knew that. The body wasn't there, but the tomb wasn't empty. The grave clothes were there. Those grave clothes were lying there, and they weren't disturbed. They weren't all messed up as though someone had taken a knife and cut the body out.

They were lying there just like the shape of the body, like an empty cocoon. Our Lord Jesus just came right through those grave clothes, garbed himself in the garments of glory, and out he came. The stone wasn't rolled away to let Jesus out.

The stone was rolled away to let us in. And so they looked in, and lo and behold, there were the grave clothes, the body, gone. That's a picture. It's a symbol. The Bible teaches us imaginatively. Over in Colossians chapter 3, Paul says, now, if you've been risen with Christ, and if you're married to him, you've been risen with him, because he won't marry a dead person.

If you be risen with Christ, since you are risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sits at the right hand of God. Set your affection, your attention, your mind on things above, not on things of the earth.

For your life, you died with Christ, and your life is hid with Christ in God. And he says, put off all these things. Get rid of the grave clothes. Anger, wrath, malice, uncleanness, selfishness, you just name it.

Just take all the things that belong to the former life and leave them in the grave. The grave clothes were there to remind us that we're to walk in newness of life. Remember Lazarus. Jesus said, Lazarus, come forth, and there he came, bound hand and foot.

And since he was bound in his feet, he couldn't walk, so he floated. Can you imagine going down to mourn somebody's death, and then, lo and behold, he comes floating to the door of the tomb. Then Jesus said, loose him and let him go.

Lazarus, you can come out, but leave the grave clothes there. They smell. Even Martha admitted that. And our Lord Jesus said, look, I have the fragrance of my grace. Please don't bring in those smelly grave clothes.

Our marriage is not going to be happy if you don't dress properly. And so let's bury the past. Let's bury the old nature. That's what he talks about back in Romans chapter six. Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be put out of commission, rendered inoperative, that henceforth we should not serve sin.

My Lord says, you can't serve two masters. Either you're going to serve me or you're going to serve sin. Let's go out to the cemetery and let's bury that old nature. That's the secret of joyful victory in the Christian life, having buried that old nature.

When we find that temper and impatience and uncleanness and all these things that make life miserable for us, but we do them, when we find them emerging in our lives, we say, wait just a minute, when I got married to Jesus, I went to a funeral and I'm going to reckon right now that I am dead to those things.

That's what he means by walking in newness of life. Like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. Now, it was the same Lord who came out of the tomb, but it wasn't the same Lord.

It was the same person, but a different body. A glorified body. Never again to suffer, never again to die, never again to be tempted. You and I are in Jesus Christ, married to Jesus Christ. And it's good for us to remember we went to a funeral.

Now, somebody here just now is saying, I have an awful problem with a certain part of my old nature. I don't know what it is. All I know is this, remember you went to a funeral. You have died to that.

Freedom from Legalism and Bondage

But Paul tells us in Romans chapter 7 and verse 4 that not only did we die to sin, the old nature, but we died to the law. You say, wait a minute, the law was for the Jewish people. He was writing to Romans.

Romans knew a lot about law. The Roman government magnified law. If you went to Greece, it was wisdom, philosophy. You go to Rome, it's law. Much of our law today by way of Great Britain is Roman law.

Now, when you're living under law, you're always afraid. When you're living under law, there's an obligation to fulfill. When you're living under law, you're a servant. When you're living under law, there is condemnation and there is fear.

You can't get married like that. There's a difference between being a slave in the house and being the bride of the master. When the slave in the house comes walking into the house, what am I supposed to do?

Suppose I don't do it right. What does he want me to do? Oh, he could kill me. Fear. Bondage. You know, many people live that way. Many people, when they awaken in the morning and first open their eyes to look up, and they don't see a loving husband who says, hey, I've been watching over you all night, they see a master of a slave.

Now, our Lord Jesus Christ is our master. The Old Testament says your master is your husband. There's no contradiction here between Jesus being my master and my husband, but you don't treat him the way you would treat the master of a slave.

Is your Christian life built upon obligation? I must do this and I must do that. And therefore, you're always feeling guilty. I didn't do my best. There are many churches where the pastor does nothing else but create guilt in the lives of the people, thinking that by creating guilt, he'll make them want to do better.

That's legalism. Jesus Christ did not die and come out of the grave for me to put a yoke on you and say, go out and do better. You see, when you get married to somebody, you don't hand them a list of rules.

Wouldn't that be awful? Suppose I were to marry a couple here, and as they go out, they come in that aisle and go out that aisle, and as they go out, he hands her a piece of paper and says, now, dear, here's what you have to do from now on.

What kind of a life would that be? I lived for a week with a pastor and his wife and their children, and hanging on the wall were a list of do's and don'ts. You can't run a house on that. You know what runs a marriage?

Love. If she loves him, she'll wash the clothes. If she loves him, she'll keep the house clean. If he loves her, he'll provide the money for the bills. If he loves her, he'll protect her. Where there's love, you don't have to have law.

And so the Lord says to me, okay, we're married now. Let's go out to the cemetery. I want to bury the law. Does that mean, Lord, that I'm under no obligation? That's right. Then, Lord, if I'm free, free from the law, I'm free to love you as I should.

The Christian life is not a relationship of slavery. It's freedom. It's not a relationship of bondage. It's not an external rule. It's an internal spirit. That's what Jesus taught us, and that's what Paul taught us.

That's what Peter taught us. And John, John said, his commandments are not grievous. Why? We love him. Paul says, but now we are delivered from the law, having died to that in which we were held, that we should serve in newness of the Spirit, not in oldness of the letter.

Newness of the Spirit, internal. Life by the Holy Spirit. Oldness of the letter, external. Don't do this, don't do that, don't do something else. Some of the most miserable witnesses I know are Christians who think that because they don't do things, they're better than anybody else.

That's an awful way to live. You say, but aren't you talking about something dangerous here? No, not if you love Him. Can you imagine a man saying to a woman or a woman saying to a man, well, we're married now.

I can go off and live the way I please. No, not where there's love. That's why Paul says love is the fulfillment of the law. And so the Lord says, you're married to me. I died for you on the cross. I arose again.

I've spoken to you in love. You're married to me. And we're going to have a wonderful time together. Everything I am is yours. Everything I have is yours. All I can do, I'll do for you. That's beautiful.

But to keep us from having trouble in this marriage, he says, let's go to a funeral now. Let's go out to the graveyard. Let's bury the old life. You're dead to sin. Let's bury the law. You're dead to the law.

We're not going to build our relationship on the oldness of your old life. It's going to be built on the newness of your new life. We aren't going to build it on doing do's and don'ts and don't go here and don't do that.

We're going to build it on a love relationship because I love you and you love me and that's what it's all about. And that's what Easter is all about. That's what the Christian life is all about. When you say, I will, to Jesus Christ, you go to a wedding, you're married to Christ.

And then you go to a funeral, you're buried with Christ. And then you leave that graveyard with your lovely Lord, your Master. And there's a deepening, living, loving, lasting relationship there that gets better and better and better.

Until one day, our blessed bridegroom comes and claims us and we enter into glory, sharing all that He has and all that He is. And it all starts, it all starts when you say, I will. I will. Have you ever said that?

The Call to Say “I Will” to Christ

Do I speak to someone here just now who says, I've never said I will. Oh, I know about Jesus mentally and I've even had some good feelings about Jesus emotionally, but volitionally, I have never said I will.

Then why don't you? Today, you can do that. All that the Father giveth me shall come to me, said Jesus. And Him that comes to me, I'll then know why He's cast out. You come to Him and say, Lord, I will.

And He'll receive you. He received the woman at the well. Oh, she was dirty, but He cleansed her and He received her. He received Zacchaeus. Oh, he was crooked, but He received him. And He'll receive you.

And you'll walk with Him in newness of life. Someone says, Pastor, I have received Him. And I said, I will, but our marriage is not too happy. Then you know what? It's not his fault. It's not his fault, it's our fault.

If your Christian experience with the Lord is not a happy one, if you're enduring it instead of enjoying it, it's not his fault, because he's done everything he can do to make it happy. It's your fault.

You've dragged something in from the past. Should have buried it. You're trying to please Him in your own strength and you've set up rules and regulations to make you spiritual. They don't work. Bury it.

Make a visit to the cemetery. Read the gravestone. Here lies the old nature. Here lies the law. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. And let your relationship to Him be not one of external compulsion, but internal compassion.

Not law, but love. And you'll find you'll be happy. And you'll grow. And you'll bring forth fruit for God. That's what it's all about. Married to Christ, buried with Christ, and then walking in His newness of life.