A Living Sacrifice - Part 2 — Paul Washer

Christian Courtship and the Role of Parents

The beauty of the Lord. Now, I have only got one night left, so I am going to be like a shotgun, okay? I'm going to just run more rabbits than you. I'm going to say one more thing about the body. It's very important.

This is for young people. Young people, let me just tell you something. I don't care what your culture says and I don't care if you stand up and laugh at me as a dinosaur. Dating is unbiblical. It's ungodly.

And it's done more to damage our culture than absolutely anything on the face of the earth. Now, it's a phenomenon that really only started like a hundred years ago. Let's say there's 6 ,000 years of written history or something.

Dating is something that's just started and it's destroyed everything. Now, I just want to give you a few ideas. You know the story of the girl doesn't have a choice, right? And the boy doesn't have a choice.

And it's time for the girl to get married, so dad goes out, finds her a husband. He's as ugly as a toad. Brings him back. She's got to marry him. And you say, well, Brother Paul, is that what you're talking about?

Well, let's just stop here for a moment and see what the alternative is today. In what I just described, here's a father who... Listen to me, young girl. Your father knows a billion times more about the world than you ever even imagine existing.

He really does. He's been there. He knows things he can't even tell you about. He's seen things. Believe me, I'm a dad. He goes out. Isn't anybody going to fool this guy? Isn't some little 16-year-old guy with pimples on his nose going to fool dad?

Dad walks out. Dad can see right through him. Dad doesn't have... You know, dad isn't seeing stars. His heart isn't going like this. He sees right off the bat this kid's worthless. So dad's going to go out with a thousand times infinitely more wisdom than you have and go out and find you a mate for life.

Now, I'm not saying that's right. I'm just saying it's a lot better than the option today. What is the option today? The 16-year-old girl goes out, finds a little boy, brings him back, and dad has to accept him.

Now, which one's right? Neither one. What is right? First of all, and I said, I'm going to run rabbits. Look, don't worry about me. I'm a little sick, but I'm not tired. If you have to leave, I understand.

Like Leonard Ravenhill said one time, if you have to leave, I'll understand. I'll understand your carnal is what I'll understand. But I've got to touch on this because it's very rarely taught on. Now, first of all, you young guys, you think, man, I want a date.

OK, let me tell you something. The world will tell you that when you're around 11 or 12 or whatever and you start recognizing there are people of the opposite sex out there. OK, and the world tells you, all right, it's time to go.

It's time to start. Button's been pushed. Who pushed the button? I'll tell you who did. God. God pushed the button. But he's not telling them with that button. It's time to start into a relationship. He's telling them it's time to prepare.

He's showing you there is this wonderful thing out there now. You have to become a man and you have to become a woman. Now, let me tell you something, you've heard the word adolescence. It is a lie straight out of the pit.

A hell based upon a false evolutionary model does not exist. Why do we have adolescence? I'll tell you why. In all cultures, you go with me next week to Zambia, to Africa. You will find it there. You go with me to the Agua Luna Indies in Peru.

You will find it there. And what is it? You have two classes of males. You have boys and you have men. The boys are boys. They do boy things. They have no responsibility. They run around. They pick their nose.

They go fishing all day. They do whatever they want. They are little boys. Then what happens when they're about 13 years old? They go through a ritual and everything else. They come out on the other end.

These guys can hunt lions by themselves. They can build a house. They can farm land and they take care of a woman. We don't have that. So what do we have? A bunch of little boys who then become adolescents, we call them adolescents because they don't want to be called boys, but they are most certainly not men.

So they're adolescents. How long do they stay there? Usually until they're 35. No, it's real. So here's the thing. Let me give you an example. I take my son. He's he's four years old. He's been shooting a bow now for a year.

My bow that I shoot's got arrowheads on it that you have to put them on with a wrench because they're so sharp they'll cut your finger off. My little boy didn't have those. Why? He's a little boy. When's he going to have those?

When he's able to handle them. Little boys don't play with big men things. So in order for him to one day graduate to those arrows that you can really kill a deer with, he's going to have to become a man.

And until then, he won't. So now he's got something to work towards, doesn't he? Because he can't play men's games while he's still a boy. What are we doing? Our boys never grow into men because we let them play the men games without the men responsibility.

And men have dropped the ball in that they don't teach their children or their sons to make them men. Now, what happens? All right. Boy starts recognizing, wow, there's girls. Cool. Dad comes in, says his son.

So you just noticed that. Yeah. All right. Now, for the next five or six years, your training begins. What kind of training change you from a boy into a man? When can you start thinking about being involved with someone of the opposite sex?

I'll tell you, when you are man enough to guide them spiritually, when you are man enough to protect them physically, that doesn't mean you can fight better than everyone else, but you're willing to lay down your life.

And when you can take care of them economically, that means if dad's paying for the insurance on your car, you can't go out on the day. That is the first time you can start thinking about someone of the opposite sex when you are able to assume all the responsibilities of a man until then go back to playing with a BB gun.

Girls, same thing. It's pathetic. I mean, my boy's four years old and there's already people coming up and saying, you know, oh, you know, he's cute. And my daughter, don't you even get near my boy? He's a boy.

He's supposed to be thinking about Robin Hood and hunting bears that aren't out there and rescue heroes and all these. You leave my son alone. Don't you awake in love until it's time? All right, but girls, my wife has a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful article on our website.

Just go to our website and get it. It's called Becoming Esther. How Esther had to go through all these beauty treatments and all this different stuff before she ever came into the king. Trottle takes that and goes into, OK, this idea of love has been awakened in you.

You're a young teenage girl. What does that mean? That means that, oh, hopefully you have a mother who is truly godly. Hopefully you have a church full of women who are truly godly and you submit yourself to them and you learn to become a woman.

You learn to take care of a home. You learn to take care of a man. You learn to do all the things you're supposed to do as a woman. And when you graduate is when the authorities over you say you've graduated.

Let me give you an example. I was 30 years old when I asked Trottle to marry me. I talked to her father. He said no. Because he was an unbeliever. He's Catholic. He didn't want his daughter marrying some evangelical missionary.

He said no. He said, no, I don't want you seeing my daughter. I was 30 years old. I was director of an international mission society, been around the world. I submitted to him. So don't talk to me about you're not going to submit to your parents because I won't hear it.

I submitted to him. Six months later, he sends me a message. I have never in my life seen a man like you. I no more expected you to submit to me than a man on the moon. You have. You can marry my daughter.

She'll never find another man like you. So don't talk to me about you're too old. You know nothing of authority and knowing nothing of authority, you know nothing about God and how it works. Now, yes, that can be taken to extremes.

And yes, your parents can even be wrong. But this is something you need to understand. You submit to your parents, even if they're wrong and God will deal with your parents. Because when that man said no to me, I went up to the third floor there in the church and started to pray.

And I knew God impressed upon my heart. Son, stand and behold my power. I will fight for you. Maybe I'll come back one time to spend a whole week teaching all you young people how you're supposed to do this stuff.

Sexual Purity and Fleeing Temptation

Let me say one other thing about the body. One day, this young man I know is very godly came into my office. OK, came into my office. He's crying. Now, this guy is tough as nails. I thought, what on earth has happened?

He's in college. He was going to get ready to go to seminary. Tough as nails. Young man who was a man. He's crying. I said, man, what is going on? He said, I can't stand it anymore. He said, my fiance.

Now, his fiance, very godly girl. So we had two very godly people. These aren't these aren't, you know, halfway Christians. These are real, the real thing. I said, what's going on? He goes, we try to be godly.

We read the word together. We pray. We fast. We get counsel. We do everything. But sometimes, I mean, we're alone in the car and we'll hold hands or a hugger. And one thing will turn to another. And no, we haven't gone all the way, but we do some things that we shouldn't do.

We know we shouldn't do. We feel horrible about it. It sometimes brings to the point we want to break up. We don't know what to do. I mean, we pray and fast and everything. And I said, stop. What do your counselors tell you to do?

He said, they tell me, well, you know, this is difficult. Dating and and doing this kind of stuff is is difficult and it's difficult to be alone. We just need to pray more and we need to read the word more.

And I said here, I don't know who they are, but you go back and use my name. Tell them they are fools. They need to shut their mouth and stop giving people unbiblical counsel. And then I looked at him, I said, young man, you think you're more spiritual than me?

And he is. He goes, no, you think you're more spiritual than me? You ever been chased across the jungle to Agua Duna territory by terrorists? No. Then you're not more spiritual than me. He said, no, sir.

I said, what then why are you trying to do what I would be too afraid to do? And then I looked at him, I said, young man, you're very spiritual and probably more spiritual than me. But young man, you're all wrong.

You've been led astray by fools. I said, look, let's just suppose, OK, let's take this to modern today. OK, let's suppose that I got a little kind of kitchenette thing there in the microwave and stuff in the place where I'm staying.

Let's suppose there's a single lady in the church, about 43 or something about my age, single lady in the church, real nice, pleasant lady and everything. She's single. And the pastor comes to pick me up for breakfast.

And she's in the hotel room with me and we're making cookies. I got an apron on. We're just making cookies. OK, what do you think the pastor is going to do when he walks in the door? Well, I'm not going to be preaching tonight.

What he's going to say, what are you doing? I'm making cookies. What does it look like? Look at my apron. What are you doing here with this light? Well, I'm making cookies. Look, it's nothing. It's just we're just making cookies.

Because are you out of your mind? What could happen? What could happen? I could fall. Now, let's look at this for a moment. Young, young boy, young girl, you're 16 years old. You don't have a whole lot to lose.

You fall. Everyone's going to say that's terrible. And you're 16. And and, you know, what do I got to lose? I got to lose a wife. Number one, I'm going to lose two boys. I am going to probably be the cause for 100 missionaries not getting any support after that day.

I got infinitely more to lose than you. And so if anybody's not going to fall, it's going to be me because I got a lot more to lose. But it's insane to think that I would get in a room alone with any girl that wasn't my daughter or my mom or my grandma or my sister.

What was my point to that young man? Same point I'm making to you. Young person, mark my words, maybe you've already done it, mark my words with your body that I'm talking about here. If you're dating and you get in a car alone or anywhere alone long enough with someone of the opposite sex, you are going to fall.

You probably have already. But if you haven't, you're going to period, period. Isn't it amazing that when we get to Ephesians chapter six, the Bible says that we are in hand to hand combat with the devil face to face wrestling, locking arms with the devil.

We're told to resist him and he will flee from us. When it comes to youthful lust, he says, run. That tells me what's inside to use more dangerous than the devil itself. It is not a case of if you can be strong enough to be to make it to the marriage altar or whatever you want to call it pure.

You are not. God's already told you that. So God is not going to give you power if you're praying that God will keep you pure and everything else. But you're being alone with someone of the opposite sex.

Forget it. God's not in it. He's not giving you power. He's not doing anything. You've already broken all his commands. He said, flee. You say, well, how am I supposed to get to know someone? Well, that's why they had parlors.

A Biblical Courtship Process

What happens when I don't know how I just need to keep going, I'm sorry if it's been a disappointment to some of you because it's completely different what you thought I was going to teach, but I've got to teach on this, I've just impelled to how does it work?

Young man, you're the instigator of all this. You begin to notice someone, either she's in your church or she's in another church or she's in a godly family. You begin to notice a girl, her qualities.

Hopefully you've been trained by your father to be a man. You've grown. You have your father's promise upon you and God's hand is on you. And you begin to recognize a girl and you go to your father and you say, you know, this girl and man, she just and I think that this could be God's will.

You let your father determine whether it's God's will or not. And even if he's wrong, God will bless you. If he says, son, you've grown to be a fine man and that's a fine woman of God. This has promise.

Praise the Lord. And if your father says no, that does not mean that that person is not the will of God for your life. But it does mean that person is not the will of God for your life right now. Submit and he'll go well with you.

But if your father says, OK, and and and everything else, what's the next step? Well, here it is, young man, you don't go talk to your friends so that he'll go talk to her friends so that find out whether or not she likes you or not so that you can go ask her something.

That is a coward and you don't go to her because she is under the authority of a man and that man is not you. You go to her father, you don't go to her, you go to her father. Now, you say, well, what if she doesn't even like me at all?

Well, that's not the point. God has led you. You believe, see, it all comes down to if you're not a man led of the Holy Spirit, you can't even start this process. You feel God's led you, you go to him and you say, I'm interested, you know, I believe that that, you know, that maybe your daughter has been on my mind.

I've been praying about her and she's very godly. And if he looks at you and says, no, the answer is no, that doesn't mean that she's not God's will for your life, but it doesn't mean she's not God's will for your life right now.

He says, no, you submit. But if he looks at you and sees a man of promise and knows you, you're good, good, solid Christian, you've become a man. He's not going to tell you, yes. He's not going to tell, you know, and fathers, listen to me, you're not going to tell him either.

I'm going to go talk to my daughter. I like you, I'm going to go talk to my daughter. No. You're just going to say, sir, young man, I'm going to pray about it. You pray about it. You're in agreement with it.

You go talk to your daughter. If she throws up immediately, it's off. If she says no, then you say, well, at least give the young man the benefit of the doubt. Pray about it. For a couple of weeks and then come back to me.

When she comes back and says no. What does the father do? He goes back to that young man and he does not say, I talked to my daughter and she said no. Why, sir? She is under your authority and is your obligation to protect her.

She is not to be confronted by any man except you. She is not to answer any man except you. She does not. She should never be put in a situation where she is forced to turn down a man. That is your responsibility.

And you look at that young man and you say, I've prayed about it. I've taken counsel. And the answer is no. And if that young boy says, well, what does your daughter say? You look at him and you say, you've already proved you don't have the integrity or character to be with my daughter.

With that answer of yours. But if dad says yes and the daughter says hallelujah, then what goes on? The parents get together, map out a plan. What if the parents could care less and talk to your elders and some godly people in the church with the elders and map out a plan?

What if they don't care? Find you another church, which you probably have to do in most cases. Not here, though, because the pastor agrees with what I'm saying. And what do you do? What do the parents do?

They get together and their sole purpose is to bless both their children and protect them. And how do you do that? First of all, you don't have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince because you're going to end up with worse than warts on your face.

What do you do? A parlor was made. In old times, it was a room where they could two young people could be in private, but it didn't have a door that could be closed. It was usually, you know, a big round kind of open space.

Why? Just when you didn't think so, dad walks by with a 12 gauge shotgun. What happens? They can talk. They can talk about so many things that they should be taught on what they should talk about because some things are too intimate to talk about.

They can talk. They can get to know each other. But there's always this open door, large open door. And if you don't have one, well, get yourself a sledgehammer. Make one. Your daughter's worth it. Your son's worth it.

And I know you didn't pay for any of that, but I just felt like I had to share it because I see young people and I know how you can mess up your life. And he said, I've never heard any truth like this.

You know, it's the most amazing thing. There's a reformation going on in this country that you'll never hear about on television. College students and secular universities are coming up to me and asking me to teach on this and they're practicing it.

And they're saving themselves. Years of hell. Let me tell you something, the average Christian in America has five major relationships before they get married. And even if they never have sex in any one of those relationships, you know what?

They left five pieces of themselves of five other people. And when they get to the wedding, they're not whole. You cannot even I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about just an intimate relationship with another person binds you to that person to at least some degree so that they stay with you the rest of your life.

And you with them offer your body, you see, my friend, I'm coming to the conclusion more and more that true Christianity will reveal itself in this country through godly families, through godly families.

If you if what I'm saying to you right now, you think it's I'm a dinosaur, I think I'm out of my mind. Come and talk to me after the service. If you've not done any of this, come and talk to me. I won't condemn you.

I'll help you. Pastor, come here. The other pastors, maybe. To teach you, this is this is a way to save you. He says, present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.

Presenting the Body as Worship

I'd love to preach on that, but there's no time now. I just want to go to this idea of spiritual service of worship. The word can also mean rational service of worship. It is a rational thing to do to offer your entire being to God.

It is the most rational thing you can do. The most irrational thing you can do is declare yourself to have a relationship with this all sovereign God before whom there's not a maverick molecule and then spur out on your own and be self-willed and do what's right in your own eyes.

That is irrational. What is rational? You see, once you get to the question of deity and you've answered it, you've solved all your other problems. If Jesus Christ is God in the flesh, everything else just falls in line, whatever he says goes.

But it never really is a question of the intellect, is it? It's mainly a question of the will. We know what's right. We just don't want to do it. And here's what will happen. And I'm sure every pastor in this room could testify the same thing.

How many times have I given these types of counsels to young people? Only to have them totally disregard everything I say and six months later, walk into my office weeping and I have to look at them and say, I am sorry, there is not one thing I can do to help you.

I've done it countless times now. He says in verse two, and do not be conformed to this world. It means do not be made of the same mold of this world, the same pattern of this world. But don't you see, you already are.

So am I. So much of us is according to our culture, that if Christians from just a hundred years ago were to come back and look at our lifestyle, our manner of speaking and talking and dressing and walking and everything else, the way we do our social relationships, absolutely everything, they would kick us out of their church.

We are so culturally. Just washed and transformed when we make mud bricks in Peru, what do you do? You take a wooden frame, has a wooden bottom on it, and before you put the mud in there, the adobe, you take sand and you sprinkle it all in there so that when it dries, it won't stick.

And then you flop it over and every brick looks the same. Why? Because they're all made out of the same mold. And look, it's just just in the last 10 years, the cultural influences that have entered into the church through church growth and church growth methodologies and things like that, that what have we basically done?

Our way of doing church is based upon going around and doing interviews with carnal people to determine what they want in a church instead of going to the Word of God and determining what God desires in a church.

Do not be made out of the same mold. But what does it say? But be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Let me say this first. Do not be conformed to this world. What is the world? It is every thought, every ideology, every system, every attitude that contradicts the will of God, rebels against his person and makes war against his throne.

You see, my friend, disobedience. And we said this before. Disobedience is a really nice way of saying this. By your own free hand, you choose to storm the throne room of God and it is your desire to knock him off the throne and slaughter him.

No pretty way to say it, is there? You see, you are either following the course of this world that is following the course of the prince of the power of the air, the great enemy, or you are following Christ.

You cannot have a Christianity that goes on well with the culture, 21st century culture in the United States of America. When even secular atheistic sociologists are saying we are a culture of death and immorality and stupidity, we can't as Christians adopt that.

And yet we have in the name of making churches bigger. It's the world. It's against God and God is against it. And Paul said the world had been crucified to him and he to the world. What did he mean by that?

The world considered Paul to be dead, an idiot who had lost his life for no purpose. And Paul considered the world to be dead. He didn't want any part of it. No friendship, no walking hand in hand. Death to each.

Transformation by the Renewing of the Mind

Now he goes on, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. This is the word in Greek from which we get the word metamorphosis. It indicates more than just some external change or turning over a new leaf or adopting a New Year's resolution.

It means a supernatural transformation. Regardless of what Leakey and the other evolutionists say, you know, bugs just don't sit there and go, I think I'll transform. I think I'll transform. I think I'll transform.

And they transform. They transform by a creative work of a sovereign God. And in the same way, transformation from where does it come? It doesn't even come from your your quiet time for several years.

You know, the emphasis on quiet time and personal quiet time and doing five different steps in that bringing transformation. My friend, we need to have times of prayer. We need to have times in the word.

But the transformation is supernatural and it comes from God. And it even can't can't even be orchestrated by a Christian. There are things we should do to put ourselves in the presence of God and make ourselves available.

But transformation is a supernatural work of God. And it comes, as it says here, through renewing our mind in the word of God. Through renewing our mind in the word of God so that you may prove what the will of God is and that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

Discerning the Will of God

Now, let me lay the will of God out for you, especially for you young people, all young people, especially when I'm at the university. All the young, what's the will of God for my life? I mean, they waste so much spiritual, mental and physical energy just trying to discover the will of God.

Well, let me let me just help you here. First of all, just with regard to the will of God, just something I'll throw out at you here for me personally, the future and God's providence in the future. It's not my place.

It's not even my concern. You don't see the patriarchs down on their knees every day trying to figure out what God's will will be for their life 20 years down the road. As a matter of fact, they usually don't even recognize God's providence until they look backwards on their life and look in the past and see his supernatural providence.

My attitude is very childlike towards the will of God regarding his decreed will, what he's decreed for Paul Washer. And it is this I am going to keep doing every day what I'm doing right now. I'm not even I'm not going to change and I'm not even going to think about changing until God makes it so clear to me that I should do something else that I know in my heart.

If I don't do it, I'm in disobedience, that my conscience is offended and I'm in disobedience. Until that point, I'm not going to worry about it. You're never going to hear me say, I don't know if God told me this or told me that.

That's not the point. Not even going to worry about it until I can tell you I know God's told me this. And if I don't do it, I'm in disobedience. Until that point, it's not a worry. But as far as the will of God, how can you determine something is the will of God?

Well, he describes it for you here. You'll know them by their fruit. Well, you'll know the will of God by certain characteristics that it has. And what's the first characteristic is good. It's good. It's what says.

Now, what does this word mean in the context? It means good. It means healthy. Something that will bring health, something that will bring prosperity in this context, in the book of Romans, in this immediate context, in a wider context of Scripture.

What is it talking about? Spiritual progress, spiritual growth, conformity to Christ, that which will lead to spiritual well-being, culminating in greater conformity to Jesus Christ. Now, you want to determine something's the will of God.

It's very easy. I don't know if you know if this this is God's will for my life. This job said, well, by working in this job. Will it take you away from the things of God? We have to make certain compromises in your spiritual life and things that God has told you he wants you to do.

Will it will it hinder that? Will it hinder your spiritual prosperity, your spiritual health, your spiritual growth? If it will, it's not God's will. So I don't know if this relationship is God's will or not.

OK, upon entering into that relationship, have you grown more in Christ and have others who are godly recognize that you have grown more in Christ because of this relationship? I'm talking to you, young people, many who will not have relationships for a long time.

But this is the rule. If you're in a relationship with a person and it does not lead to a greater seeking of Christ and a greater passion for the things of God and this type of thing, it is not God's will.

Now, you can buck up against that, but you can't buck up against this. This is what says that the will of God is good. What is God's greatest good, according to Romans chapter three, Romans chapter eight, it's your conformity to the image of Jesus Christ, that's God's great purpose, the sunim bonum of God in your life.

Now, if it's God's will, you might end up getting tortured, persecuted, your legs cut off or something. I don't know. Could be terrible, crucified, burned at the stake, everything else. But in that happening to you, you're going to grow in Christ.

But you can count on this, if that job, if that place you're living, if that relationship, if all these other things are not leading you to greater godliness, you better run. Now, is it good next acceptable?

Yeah, it's acceptable. To whom? To you? You're not the standard. To your culture. They're not the standard either. To whom? To God. He is a standard. Is it acceptable to him? Well, I'm not so sure he disapproves of it or he approves of it.

You know, I'm not really just really sure. OK, this one time was asked to an abortionist. They said they said, well, we're not really sure that's that baby is a living creature or not. And the question was put to them, well, if you were driving down the road and saw something laying across the road that looked like a human body, would you run over it anyways, because you're not sure whether or not it was a human body?

I mean, even if there was a chance it was a human body, would you not stop? Well, of course I would. Well, even if there's a chance that that baby and that baby most certainly is a human. But even if there was just the chance that it was, wouldn't that be enough to say, no, I'm not going to abort it?

All right, now, the same way with the will of God, well, we're not really, you know, it's kind of iffy if it's iffy. Isn't that enough to tell you stop until you find out whether or not it's the real deal or the wrong deal?

Because it's not iffy. Is it acceptable to God? Can you open up the book and show that it's acceptable to God? Now, young people right now, that might not mean a whole lot to you, but one day it will.

It should mean a lot to all of you, because this applies more than just teenagers, applies to all of us. And then another thing, it's perfect. What does it mean by perfect? Oh, this is a good one. I'm going to get the preachers now.

The Perfection of God's Will in Ministry and Family

You ever heard a preacher says, well, you know, I just had to lay my family on the sacrifice of the sacrificial altar for the ministry. I just didn't have time for my children, didn't have time because I just had to serve God.

OK, that's a good impersonation, isn't it? Somebody from OK, I get a Yankee whip down here, won't it? Well, what are you saying, sir? I'll tell you what you're saying. You're saying the will of God is imperfect, that in order to obey the will of God in one aspect of your life, you have to violate the will of God in another aspect of your life.

That's not God's will. God's will is perfect. You see what I'm saying? Well, the church needs money. Let's rob the bank. Well, the church may need money, it might even be God's will, but you don't fulfill God's will in one area by breaking it in another, robbing a bank.