Life of Watchman Nee — Stephen Kaung

The song we just sung, Maranatha, in the original, it has three verses. The last verse is written by a brother in our local fellowship and the Lord took him home a few years ago and that is a very appropriate verse to conclude Maranatha.

His feet touched Mount Oliver and we are very privileged to have Brother Stephen come with us. This is his third year with us here at Pembroke and we thank the Lord for his presence with us. And he has consented to share a little bit from his heart this afternoon.

I hope you all pay much attention. Many of you have read that book that you are required to read, Sit, Walk and Stand, and we discover a lot of you young people did not quite grasp the significance of our Sit, Walk and Stand with the Lord.

So there is a request that our brother share from his personal experience, how he sits, how he walks and how he stands with the Lord in his personal experience. And also many of you young brothers do not know the author of the book, Sit, Walk and Stand, just who is this watchman named.

And I think our brother will try to share a little bit about the life of this mighty instrument of the Lord to the church. So we will give our time to Brother Kong. First of all, I would like to thank the young brothers and sisters who invited me here.

Watchman Nee’s Early Life and Conversion

I always feel that I'm not qualified to be here. Number one, I'm too old. And number two, if this is my second childhood, I am too young. But anyway, I'm really happy to be here, to be with you dear brothers and sisters.

In a sense, it makes me feel younger. So you have already blessed me. After I came here, I have been asked about the writer of the book you are assigned to read, Sit, Walk and Stand. And being a long associate of Watchman Lee.

So first of all, I would like to share with you something about this brother. You know, in every generation, God raises up some people as his witness on this earth. And Brother Watchman Lee was one of those whom the Lord raised up in our century.

He was born in 1903. His parents were nominal Christians. And I hope you understand what nominal Christians mean. In other words, I think Brother Lee is the third or fourth generation, third generation probably, in Christianity.

But both of them were just nominal Christians. They were not saved. And yet, Mother Lee, whom I knew very well, because in a sense, she treated me as her son. And she was very strict. And she knew about the gospel.

And so after she gave birth to two daughters, she was pretty worried. Why? Because, you know, in those old days in China, you always expect a son. And having two daughters, and also she has a sister-in-law who had four daughters in succession.

So she was very much afraid that the third one will also be a daughter. So she prayed, even though she did not know God personally, but by tradition. So she prayed and asked God that when she conceived again, it will be a son.

And if it be a son, she will offer him to God, just like Hannah's prayer for Samuel. And God answered her prayer. So when Watchman was born, he was a boy, of course. And he was born in Swatow, that's in Kwantung province.

But of course, his origin is Fuchao. And when he was young, he was very brilliant. And he studied in Fuchao in Trinity College. Trinity College was run by those Irish Anglican missionaries. And not only he was educated in Trinity College, but when he was young, his father engaged a Chinese scholar to teach him and also his sisters.

And being a boy, and pretty naughty. So whenever there was something happened at home, of course, he was the suspect. So oftentimes he was disciplined by his mother. And sometimes his sisters were so sympathetic and pitied him, that tried to take the blame for him.

And when he was in school, at one time he was the president of the student union. And he wrote articles to the magazines. And when he got the money, he put it in lottery, you know, trying to make more money.

And he was very ambitious. He had his whole future plan. Then in 1920, a lady evangelist came to his city, Dr. Daughter Yu. She was a Chinese medical doctor. And strange to say, the first two traveling evangelists in China were both medical doctors.

One was Dr. Li Shuqing, and the other was Dr. Daughter Yu. And she came to the city to preach the gospel. Now, Mother Ni knew her when she was a student. I mean, Mother Ni was once a student in Shanghai.

You know, in Shanghai, there was a very famous girl school called Meitie. And she was studying in Meitie. Because at that time, she was hoping that after she studied there, she could go abroad for further study.

But then she got married. So, she met Daughter Yu in Shanghai, in Meitie. So, when Daughter Yu visited Fuqiao, of course, Mother Ni went to the meeting. But strangely, you know, even though she was a Christian nominally, but at that time, she wasn't saved.

And she liked to play mahjong, you know. And usually, she would be with some ladies playing mahjong. And sometimes, the pastor would come and want some contributions. So, she would take some of the money she earned out of mahjong and give to the pastor, you know.

And strangely, when Daughter Yu came, she invited her mahjong friends to go and hear Daughter Yu. And after she heard, again, the gospel from Daughter Yu, she got saved, really saved. And that evangelistic campaign was open to everybody, especially to the students.

You know, the students were encouraged to attend that gospel campaign. But Brother Ni did not go. And one day, her mother, his mother, after she was saved, she felt that they should have a family worship.

So, one day, she gathered the family, and she went to the piano and tried to play a hymn. But while she was trying to do it, suddenly, she was deeply convicted in her heart. She felt that she owed an apology to her son.

Because at one time, there was a very valuable vase broken, and the mother thought that it must be a watchman who did it. So, he was severely disciplined. But actually, it wasn't done by him. So, from that day on, Brother Ni hated his mother.

And so, somehow, the Holy Spirit reminded Mother Ni that she needed to apologize to her son. And you know, this is something never done in China. Now, in China, the parents are always right. No matter what they do, they are right.

But under the conviction of the Holy Spirit, Mother Ni got up, went over, embraced her son, and asked for forgiveness. The watchman was deeply touched, because this was never done in China. And he felt that if someone could change his mother, now that one is worth a hearing.

So, when he was invited to hear Dalu Yu, he went. And the first time he went to hear Dalu Yu, he was convicted. He knew that he needed Jesus as his Savior. But he felt he couldn't accept Jesus as his Savior.

The reason was, he felt if he should accept Jesus as his Savior, then at the same time, he must surrender his life and accept him as Lord. And this he couldn't do, because he has his whole future planned.

And he felt that if he had to accept Jesus as his Lord, he couldn't do that. So, he struggled over this for a few days, until one day, he was in his room, and the love of Jesus touched him deeply. He saw the blackness of his sins, and the redness of the blood of the Lord Jesus.

And he surrendered his life. So, when our brother was saved, he not only accepted Jesus as his Savior, but he also surrendered his life to the Lord Jesus. And after he was saved, he was really zealous for the Lord.

He read his Bible, and even when he went to class, he brought his Bible with him, and read his Bible there. So, within a very short period, he read the whole Bible, and very zealous for the Lord. And he began to preach to his fellow students, tackle them, and reason with them, and to the extent that when his fellow students saw him coming, they would go by the other way.

And they said, the preacher is coming. But nobody got saved. So, after a while, a missionary lady, I forgot her name, I should remember, asked Brother Nee, after you are saved, how many have you led to the Lord?

Well, he said, none. He said, I have done my duty. I preached to them, and they did not receive. It is their responsibility. I have done my part. So, that missionary lady asked him, now, have you ever prayed for them?

He said, never. You know, he tried to use his own reasoning to bring people to Christ, and he couldn't do that. So, that lady told him, you should pray for them before you preach to them. So, he listened to this missionary lady, and he began to pray for his fellow students.

Actually, he put their names in a book, and he prayed for them. And within a period, everyone got saved. One by one got saved. And in 1922, there was a revival in that school. They invited a Chinese lady, Ruth Lee.

I knew her personally. She was an atheist. And she opposed the Lord very much. When she was the matron of a Christian high school, she forbade the students to read the Bible. She would take away their Bible, and she was an avowed atheist.

But God got him, and she became a preacher instead. So, they asked this Ruth Lee to come to Fuzhou and preach to the students. And she was there only three days. But a revival began in that school. And until all the best students of each class, and all the worst students of each class were saved.

And after they were saved, these students would go out on the street. You know, they would put the posters on their back and front, you know, and walk on the street, and preach the gospel to the people.

And there was quite a revival. And they had to ask people who come to hear the gospel, you know, to bring their own chairs, because they don't have enough chairs for these people. So, the Lord was really working during those days.

And as a matter of fact, as you look into the reason for this revival among the students in Fuzhou in 1922, it really was the result of the prayer of two ladies. There were two ladies from England. One was Miss Barber, and another one.

And they came to Fuzhou, and they lived in the village. And they began to preach the gospel among the villagers. But they felt that unless the Lord could get hold of some intelligent young people, the work in China will not be able to proceed.

So, they prayed that Lord God would raise up a group of young, intelligent people for the gospel of China. And it is actually through their prayers that this revival began in Fuzhou. So, well, I may add something, because at that time, you know, there was some disturbance, political disturbance in China during that time.

So, at one time, the school was stopped. And when the school was stopped, Brother Ni went to Shanghai to be with Miss Doro Yu, because Dr. Doro Yu, she has a Bible school in Shanghai. So, Brother Ni went there and tried to learn in that Bible school.

But after, I think half a year, Doro Yu sent her, sent him back. And the reason that Doro Yu gave to him is that it's not convenient for him to be there. But actually, it was because Brother Ni, you know, he had a habit of getting up very late, and he liked to eat good food, you know.

And so, he was not a disciplined person. And Doro Yu thought he was hopeless, and sent him back. But even so, Brother Ni himself was still hopeful, you know. And he was not disappointed in any way. And when the school opened, he went back to school and continued.

And these students, they continue to go out and preach the gospel. You know, when there was a vacation, they would go to the villages and preach the gospel. So, when you read the Sit, Walk, and Stand, and you find at the very end, there was a story about a village, you know, about the rain and things like that, you know, and about a young man, younger, of course, than these students.

And I had been asked, because in that book, it said, let's call him Brother Wu. But actually, he is not Brother Wu. He is Brother Li, Li Guozhong. I know him personally. He was a very naughty young man.

And that's the reason why the mother sent him to Brother Ni, and asked Brother Ni to help him, you know. So, anyway, you'll find that these students were on fire for the Lord. And, of course, there are some others who joined them.

Like, there are two Navy persons. They left the Navy and joined them. Leland Wong, well known in this country, they called him Moody of China. And another great teacher, also Wong. I know of them personally.

So, their burden was preaching the gospel. So, they went to different places whenever they were free, and preached the gospel. But during that time, Brother Ni was convicted that he should be baptized.

You know, they were baptized. They belonged to the Methodists. So, they were baptized when they were babies, sprinkled. But in reading, in studying the Bible, our brother felt that the Bible teaches believers baptism.

Believe and be baptized. So, he felt that he should be baptized. So, one day he told his mother that he was going to visit Miss Barbara. You know, because after he got saved, and these young brothers got saved, they went to Miss Barbara for help.

So, he said he was going to Miss Barbara. And the mother asked him, why do you want to go there? And she said, I want to be baptized. And the mother said, I had the same thought. I wanted to be baptized.

So, they went over, and they were baptized. And after they were baptized, then as she searched the scripture, she felt that we should break bread to remember the Lord. You know, in the Methodist church that I was brought to, you know, we had a communion, a holy communion, only once a month.

And so, when Brother Lee read the Word of God, he felt that, well, we should remember the Lord as much as we could. And in a simple way, not as a ritual or a ceremony, but really remember the Lord. So, the first time for them, Brother Lee and his mother, and Leland and his wife, for them, they met together in Leland's home, and they began to break bread together to remember the Lord, just to show their love for the Lord.

Building Up Believers as Christ’s Testimony

And gradually, our brother began to feel that there is something more than just preaching the gospel, and got people saved. Of course, this is important. But after people got saved, then what? Do you just leave them there and wait until they die and go to heaven?

And is there something more that needs to be done? So, he was convicted by the Lord, by reading the Bible, that the Lord wants to gather these people together and build them up together. Because that is what the Lord wants.

You know, the Great Commission in Matthew chapter 28 says, go and disciple all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and teach them everything that the Lord said, I have enjoined you, and I will be with you till the end of the ages.

So, Brother Lee had the burden, not only just to get people saved, but really to build them together as a testimony to the Lord Jesus. But unfortunately, at that time, there were about seven brothers who worked together.

You know, some are students, some have already, as I mentioned, one of them was a naval officer who resigned and preached the gospel. So, seven of them were serving together, young men, all young, working together.

And somehow, when they were serving together, now, they were very zealous for the Lord. But at the same time, of course, being young, they were not well disciplined by the Lord. So, they had arguments among themselves very often.

And often times, our brother, especially, he would argue with another brother who was five years older than he, the naval man. And they would argue over things. And Brother Lee felt that that brother was unreasonable.

And he felt that what he said was right. So, usually, at weekend, he would go to Miss Barber and complain to Miss Barber, you know, complain about that brother. But Miss Barber always said, you have to submit to that brother, because he's older.

And Brother Lee just couldn't take it. And often times, he would come back and felt greatly discouraged. And one time, there was a baptism. And Brother Lee felt that most of these people who were to be baptized were actually saved through him.

But that brother said he would baptize these people. And Brother Lee felt very bad about it. So, he went to Miss Barber again. And he felt that these people being saved through his instrumentality, of course, he should be the one who baptized them.

And yet, Miss Barber told him again, he said, you must obey. You must submit yourself and let that brother baptize these people. And he was so frustrated. And he felt, well, it's because I'm five years younger.

So, I have to obey. But I'm right. But anyway, during those years, Brother Lee learned to bear the cross. And he told us later on, he said, because he learned these lessons, so he is able to co-work with so many brothers and sisters.

Otherwise, he would be so independent, so sure of himself, and would be individualistic. But he learned these precious lessons, even though he may be right, but he learned to submit. And he learned great lessons out of it.

Now, I knew these things because I heard him myself saying these things. And then, at one time, when Brother Lee was out preaching, these fellow workers, they excommunicated him, because they did not agree with what Brother Lee felt about the church, about building up together.

They felt, well, all we need to do is just preach the gospel. That's it, and nothing else. And when Brother Lee began to share with the brothers and sisters that we need to be built up together, they disagreed with him.

So, when he came back, he found that he was excommunicated. And some of the brothers, they were all young, you know, the brothers wanted to defend him. They felt that it was not right, and they wanted to beat that brother who excommunicated Brother Lee.

So, Brother Lee used his body to protect that brother, and said, no, don't do that. And he himself withdrew. So, here you find, again, he learned how not to defend himself, but just accept the cross, and learn these lessons.

Now, he was very young at that time. He was only twenty-some, you know, very young. And then he began to retreat to a secluded place, and he started to publish a magazine at that time. And also, he began to travel and preach the gospel wherever he was invited, and many people got saved.

But it was also during that period, you know, he graduated already, and it was during that period that he labored so hard for the Lord. And also, his life was very hard for him, because he believed that one who serves the Lord should live by faith.

That is to say, he would not ask any financial help from anybody, not from his parents, but he just looked to the Lord for his living. And because of this, you know, he suffered quite a lot, and he spanned himself in such a way.

And so, he got tuberculosis. He was very sick. That was in 1925 -26, during those years, and he was very sick. And I was told sometimes when he wanted to go to a certain place, you know, he can only walk a short distance, and he had to wrap himself around an electric post, rest a while, and then go ahead.

But he faithfully served the Lord. And also, during that period, one day when he was home in Fuchao, he met his former professor. And the former professor looked at him and shook his head and said, we had great hope for you, and look what you have become today.

And at first it touched him. He felt that that's true. He was a very ambitious young man, and he was a very capable young man. He can be successful in any area, any field, and now he, health broken down, no future, despised, but then the Lord showed him it's worth it.

The Lord is worthy. It was also during that period, even though he was saved less than 10 years, he was saved in 1920, and he wrote that book, The Spiritual Man. He felt that that was his dying gift to the Church.

He felt that what the Lord has taught him during those few years, he had to leave it to the Church. And he felt that he was dying. So he wrote that book, three-volume book, The Spiritual Man. And the way he wrote was, he couldn't sit.

He was so weak, he used two boards to support him. And there he wrote, he was attacked by the enemy, but thank God, he finished that book. He thought by finishing that book, then he was ready to go. But the Lord wonderfully raised him up.

He was in bed a hundred and ninety some days. He was so sick. One sister who was a nurse said she had never seen anyone so sick, and brothers and sisters felt he was dying. So he himself also prepared.

He dealt with everything that he felt need to be dealt with, and just waiting for the call. And one day, a few brothers and sisters came to his room and prayed with him. And he was hoping that some prayer may really touch the Lord, touch heaven, and restore him.

So he listened very carefully. You know, people have to whisper to him at that time. But he listened very carefully, and he said one after another prayer, but there was nothing. Nothing touched him. Until a sister, who was not known to be a praying warrior, and she quoted the scripture.

He said, in Hades, in hell, there is no praise to thee. And that touched him. So after these brothers and sisters prayed for him, they left. And he was in bed, looking to the Lord. And the word came to him.

We live. And he knew immediately that he would live. And he felt he should get up. Now he hadn't gotten up for a hundred and ninety some days, but he tried to put his clothes on, and got up. Then he felt he should stand.

But he said, how could I stand? And then the word came to him. We stand by faith. It is also the scripture. So he stood up. And he told us, when he stood, he felt he was as if standing on cotton. In other words, it's so soft, you know.

But thank God, he stood. And then he felt within him, walk. He said, how could I walk? I couldn't walk. And the word came to him. Walk by faith. Again, the scripture. So he walked across the room. He looked at the stairways.

And in China, you know, the stairways were very steep. And he felt he had to go down. But he said, I couldn't do it. Walk by faith. So he went down the stairway. He crossed the lane. That was in Harlem Road.

He crossed the lane. And in the opposite, there are houses there. And in one of the houses, the brothers and sisters were praying there. He knocked the door. And when they opened the door, and he walked in, they were so surprised.

They all were there. Nobody said any word for half an hour. And then Brother Ni gave his testimony. And he was completely healed of his tuberculosis. As a matter of fact, before that, once he went to the doctor, a German doctor, for an x-ray.

And the German doctor did a very unprofessional thing. He took Brother Ni's picture, and another patient's picture, and showed Brother Ni, and said, which is, and of course, the other one was better. And yet, he died within a certain day.

So he told Brother Ni, don't come back again. But later on, when that doctor died, Brother Ni went there. And there was an auction. And he auctioned something to remember what had happened. So Brother Ni was completely healed of his tuberculosis.

He never had it throughout his life. Now later on, he had heart trouble. And his heart was enlarged, double the size. And he couldn't, many nights he had to sit through the night. And many times, he was agonizing in bed.

And when there was meeting, time came, he would got up, preach for an hour, two hours, and went back to bed. And that was the way he served the Lord. I knew him when I was in high school. And well, let me tell you more, a little more of his story, because I think it will be help to you.

Watchman Nee’s Surrender and Suffering

You know, he grew up with another family, Chang family. They were neighbors. And the two families were close friends. So he grew up with the children of the Chang family. And the Chang family had several girls.

And there was one called Charity. And Watchman and Charity, they grew up together. And they really loved one another, loved each other. And they have a kind of secret agreement, you know, when they got older, they will be married.

So after Brother Ni got saved, he began to, of course, he began to preach the gospel to Charity. But unfortunately, he could talk with Charity on anything. But whenever he tried to preach the gospel to Charity, Charity wouldn't listen.

He refused to accept the Lord. And that became a real problem to our brother. You know, because he is a believer, and his sweetheart refused to accept the Lord. Now what should he do? And one day he was preparing to preach, and he wanted to use the verse in Psalm 73, verse 25, Whom have I in heaven but Thee?

And whom do I admire on earth but Thee? You know, and when he was preparing that message, he said, Well, I couldn't say it honestly. Whom do I have in heaven but Thee? I can say that. But that I have nothing that I desire on earth, I cannot say that, because I have Charity.

I want him. I want her. I couldn't give her up. And he struggled over this matter. And the Holy Spirit convicted him. He couldn't get over it until one day the love of Christ again constrained him. And he felt he had to give her up in order to follow the Lord.

So he decided he will cut off his relationship with Charity, and just set his heart completely towards the Lord. And when he did that, he told us. He changed his clothes, wear an old cloth, take some gospel posters and some paste.

He went to the street and put these posters up, you know, to show that this is his goodbye to the world, to everything that is in the world. And it was at that time he wrote a hymn. It's a hymn that probably many, but anyway, you'll find that in following the Lord, it is the narrow way.

It does cost you. It costs you everything. The Lord said, you deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me. You cannot be my disciple. And our brother really gave up everything. And his motto was, I want everything for the Lord.

I want nothing for myself. In 1952, he was taken by the communist government in China. And he was in prison for 20 years. And he died in 1972 in the labor camp. Now that is the writer of this book, Sit, Walk and Stand.

He gave these messages in Europe. In 1938 and 39, he went to England, Denmark, Finland. And in those countries, he gave the messages on the normal Christian life that becomes a classic today. And also he gave a message on Sit, Walk and Stand.

So young brothers and sisters, you have in your hand a book. It is not a theory to our brother. That book comes out not only from study, but from blood. He gave his life to the Lord. And out of these messages, Sit, Walk.

So I do hope that knowing the story, you will reread that book. Not as a theory, but it is something that someone has experienced personally. The mighty grace, it is real. And it is something that we all must.

Sitting, Walking, and Standing in Christ

Now in the book, Sit, Walk and Stand, you'll find it really sums up our whole Christian life. Sit before the Lord, before God. Walk before the world and stand against the enemy. It is very true that unless you learn to sit, you will not be able to walk or to stand.

But at the same time, you'll find it is not just you sit for a while, you walk for a while and you stand for a while. You'll find actually Sit, Walk and Stand cannot be separated. You're always sitting, sitting in Christ.

That's your position. If you are not sitting in Christ, you will fall. You cannot walk. And you are not able to stand. So throughout your Christian life, you have to sit in Christ. It is not you. You know, it is not you just sit there and do nothing, passive, just sitting, being comfortable.

No. You are sitting in Christ. Seated with Him in the heavenlies. That is to say, you sit because He has done all for you. But you cannot do yourself. He has done all for you. Therefore, you sit in the finished work of Christ.

Now you walk. You just not walk by yourself. The Bible says you walk in Him. You walk with Him. It is His life in you that walks. If you try to walk by yourself, you will fall. But if you walk by the life of Christ in you, then you are able to reach the goal.

It is Christ. It is not you. And the same thing is true with stand. You are not just standing. If you just stand there, the enemy will come and knock you down. But you are standing in Christ. Standing in His power, in His name.

And His name is above every name. And to that name, every knee must bow, every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord. That is where you stand. So brothers and sisters, remember, it is all summed up in Christ.

What you will be, whether you sit or stand or walk, it is Christ. Not you. It is Christ. Christ is all. Christ is everything. So learn to sit in Him, walk in Him, and stand in Him. And that is Christian life.

And our brother has already demonstrated it in his own life. Finally, the brothers want me to also bear some testimony to the truth of this book. I have to say that it is all the mercy and grace of God.

Resting in the Finished Work of Christ

So far as sitting is concerned, you know, I was a person, when I was seeking for salvation, I was working for salvation. Even though I came from a Christian family, my father loved the Lord very much.

We had family devotion every evening. I read the Bible. I prayed. I went to church. I was baptized as an infant. And you know, at my time, I studied school. And on Sunday, we have to march to the church to attend the service.

If you don't do that, you will have a big mark against you. And if you have two, you may be expelled. So we students will all march into the church building and sit there. But we were not listening, including myself.

We used a huge hymn book, open it, and behind the hymn book, novels. And I did the same. My father was preaching there. But when I was 14, I was very sick. I was dying. And being a young man, of course, I didn't want to die.

So I cried to God. I didn't know him. I know him by name, by tradition. So I cried to him. And of course, my father, missionaries, they all prayed for me. And after several months, I came. So I have a natural concept.

Because I was brought up in a family. So I thought, well, it was God who raised me up from the dead. So I should do something to show my gratitude. That's how it first started. So I was not sitting at all.

I was doing, I was working. So when the school opened, I and a fellow student, we organized some Christian activities. We have prayer meetings. We have preaching. And I led prayer meetings before I was saved.

And I preached before I was saved. Of course, I used my father's library. You know, when I led a prayer meeting, I went to my father's library and got a book on prayer, how God answered prayer. So I memorized it and told my fellow students, you know, how God answered prayer.

And then I asked everybody to kneel down and pray. And nobody prayed. And suddenly somebody began to laugh. And I scolded him. I said, this is serious before God. You cannot do that. And I preached too.

I still remember my first sermon. It was a borrowed sermon. It was preached by a famous American preacher, Jowett. And I went to my father's library and saw that book, you know. So I translated it into Chinese and memorized it.

It's called Noah's Ark. And I, Friday, you know, after school, we have that, you know. So I preached to my fellow students. And after I finished preaching, I felt good about it. But the only thing I regretted was nobody praised me.

So I was not sitting. I was working, working for my salvation. But strangely, when I was working, serving God, as it were, I thought I was serving God. The Holy Spirit convicted me of my sins. You know, I always felt I was pretty good.

I was not a bad student. I was good with every fellow student, even with the servants in the school, good with my professors. And I felt, well, I knew the gospel, but that was for sinners, not for me.

But strangely, when I was trying to serve God, the Holy Spirit convicted me. Nobody pointed his finger at me. Nobody preached at me. The Holy Spirit convicted me. I began to feel that my whole being was corrupted.

And even though I was young, sometimes I sat by myself and wept. And during that year, I sought very earnestly. I knew the gospel, but somehow it didn't register. It didn't work in my life. I felt guilty all over.

I felt a heavy load of sin upon me. But thank God, in 1930, one afternoon, the Lord, it was just one verse in the scripture, a preacher and myself were alone after a big meeting. And he point blankly asked me, are you saved?

I said, I hope I will be saved. So he stopped me. And he asked me a question, do you believe the Bible? I said, from my childhood, I believe it is the Word of God. He opened the Bible to 1 John 1 verse 9.