Dating, DEI, and Dope

And we are live on the Conversations That Matter podcast. I'm your host, John Harris. And well, you did it. You did it, audience. You made me have to watch part of a dating show, which is not what I wanted to do with my day at all, but I did it.

I took the bullet for you. I watched an episode or a big chunk of an episode of Provo's Most Eligible, which is apparently a Mormon dating show that takes place in Salt Lake City, and it doesn't even have a lot of subscribers.

I don't know who's funding it. I don't know who's behind it. They only have 23 ,000 subscribers on YouTube, which means they might have elsewhere on social media, a big following. Who knows? Maybe it's not YouTube that's their bread and butter, but they have received quite the boost the last few days on X because of the clip that you just saw, which has become quite the hot topic, quite the controversy.

I actually put a tweet out there this morning asking, why is this becoming a fault line in the culture war? It's just kind of an odd, dumb, silly, I don't know, frivolous dating show, but there's more to it than meets the eye.

We'll talk about that as the show unfolds. There's a lot of stuff, actually, we're going to talk about. We're going to talk about what's happening at the Smithsonian. We're going to talk about what's happening with DEI.

It's not going away. I know a lot of people think that Trump's in office. It's all done. That era is a bygone era. Not so fast. Not so fast on that either. We're going to talk about, let's see, what else?

Man, we got a bunch of stuff. We're legalized marijuana for recreational use quite some time ago, and the results are coming in now. How did the experiment work? It shouldn't be a surprise for people who live in other states that were pioneers in this.

There's some negatives, and we'll talk about that a little bit, and a number of other things. We're going to end the podcast, I think, with a broader discussion about Gen Z dating, marriage, and you can ask me questions about that if you think I might have something to share.

I'm not going to claim to be an expert on dating at 36 years old. That is obviously something I've been through. I'm married. I have a child now. I did have to go through that, but it was at a slightly different time.

I'm a millennial, and I understand things have changed. I do interact with Gen Z guys. I care about a lot of Gen Z guys. I know that the dating game, they don't even call it dating. I know that trying to find someone as a potential spouse has changed, but I think there's some timeless principles, and I think the Bible gives us some really good direction on what to do.

There's a lot of people right now wondering what to do. If we're going to save our civilization, that's how important this is. We need to know what to do right now. I think there's a lot of guys and gals who are either ignorant or just having a hard time.

We're going to talk about all of that as the podcast unfolds. I do need to mention before I get too far, though, that I will be speaking in Ohio in about two weeks, if I can pull it up on the screen here.

If you go to my website, that's probably the easiest place to get all these speaking engagements pulled up. Go to johnharrismedia .com and then go to speaking. August 28th through 30th, I'm going to be at the World Right in Front of You Conference in Batavia, Ohio.

You can click there and it'll take you to the link and you can sign up. There's a great lineup of speakers. Michael Foster is going to be there, William Wolfe, Ryan Denton, Keith Foskey, Jake Mentzel.

I would like to actually share a post that Michael Foster put out there earlier this year because it's going to relate to the discussion we have today. If you've never heard of Michael, this post is going to give you a good idea as to the kind of insight that he has.

I I'm going to be talking about, just so you know, give you a little preview about counterfeit virtues. I talk a lot about virtue and it's something that I want to learn more and more about. I don't know that you can ever learn exhaustively everything about virtue and what it is.

Studying the life of Christ is probably the best way that you can learn about virtue. There are counterfeit virtues. I was somewhat confronted with this when I was reading James chapter three, especially the quality of selfish ambition, which is mentioned twice there.

This got me thinking about it, that there is ambition that's good and then there's selfish ambition, which is the wisdom of the world. It's earthly. It's demonic. That's a really vast difference. It doesn't seem on the surface like it's a vast difference.

I started thinking about it and realized in my own life, in ministry settings especially, I have seen guys who get into ministry. They talk well. They look the part. They deceive people, frankly. It's because they are actors, because they have counterfeit virtues.

They've learned to project what looks like a virtue and it's actually not. This is something that we're going to have to learn in the years ahead of us to distinguish between. Part of the reason I say that is because I think it will get harder as people are able to curate an image of themselves using technology more.

The more our lives are online, the more there are filters and ways to show people only what you want them to see. The less we do hospitality in the house, which is fading, we need to put our foot down and say no to that, by the way.

We need to be doing hospitality. We need to be in people's homes. We need to have people in our homes. The more that fades and the more our social activities are mediated online, the more opportunity there is for counterfeit virtue.

We're going to talk about that and things like even how edginess is not bravery, but it looks like bravery sometimes. How do you tell the difference? That's what my talk is hopefully going to be focused on.

I haven't actually written the talk yet, but I've been thinking about it an awful lot. That's coming up. Let's see. What else? Oh, the Men's Retreat. Yes. Music and Masculinity. You can go to musicandmasculinity .com, September 25th through 28th.

The link is actually in the info section for this video. If you're watching, check that out. It's going to be a great time. We've got a great lineup of speakers. We're going to have some campfire songs and all of that, but you're going to learn a lot about hymnology and just tradition in general.

I think the main thing isn't even the topic to me so much as just the quality of the fellowship. The food, the facilities are incredible, and you're just going to have a lot of time to be if you want to be by yourself with the Lord outside.

You can do that. It's some of the most pristine, fresh air you'll ever breathe in the Adirondack Mountains, or you can fellowship with other people. There'll be plenty of opportunities for that. It's a great time for men to get together.

All the men who come out every year have a great time. We added an extra day. If you want to stay an extra day, you have an option. There's two tracks. Check it out. We're only charging cost. No one's making any money off of it.

It is a necessary thing in our minds because we want to see men get together and be encouraged. Check that out, musicandmasculinity .com. All right. The comments for the video are already starting to come in.

I haven't really said anything yet, except I just played a clip. Cosmic Treason says, in all caps, men don't care about how much you love to travel. It doesn't make you attractive. In smaller case, in fact, what it does is throw up a red flag that she is frivolous and craves expensive entertainment.

I don't know, to be honest with you. I see that take a lot. I saw a lot of people saying that. I'm not so certain about that, especially after I looked at the actual show. Maybe people who are just judging it off the clip, that might be the conclusion they come to.

Everyone's trying to come up with a reason. Why was he not attractive to any of the guys sitting there? Is it the guys? Are they the losers? Is it their problem? She's a She's just... Her advertising is not going to sell to any guy who wants anything meaningful, at least, who's serious.

Those are the two sides. I'll show you some tweets from the two sides and give you my rundown on how I think through this. It almost seems like I am subverting my own platform because this is Conversations That Matter.

I cannot believe I just played you a clip from a dating show. But when we get the bird's eye view that there's a lot of angst and anger and emotion and just high, strong opinions about dating and the prospects and all of that whole discussion, I think it'll make sense why I ended up doing this.

I did not wake up thinking I would do that. But as I saw the comments online, I said, you know what? I got to do it. We're going to talk about it. Let's start here. I'm going to start with a... Do I want to do the dating stuff first?

Everyone's already... I think you guys want to... Yeah. Thanks, Cosmic. Conversations That Kind of Matter. That's what we are now. I think we're going to do the dating stuff first. I was going to save it to the end, but man, I think we're going to do it.

So let's do it. Let's talk about the dating game out there, if you want to call it that, maybe not the best word for it. I'm going to start out with this Michael Foster post, and if you like what I'm reading, then you might want to consider coming to the conference in Batavia.

Michael says this, and this is from a few months ago, I think he posted this. It's May. He said, Jack Reacher won't ask girls to dance. So sad. I've had a front row seat to the social breakdown hitting our young people.

You can see it in a lot of places, but one of the clearest examples came from a mom in our church who's helped run a homeschool prom for several years. She told me something recently that I've been stewing on.

When we first got involved, it was normal for boys to ask girls to dance, especially during the snowball dances, where the DJ tells you to rotate partners every 30 seconds. That's the whole point. Go find someone new, talk, move, risk a little awkwardness.

But this year, the boys wouldn't do it. They stood around, clumped up with friends, goofed off, and refused to initiate. Some danced with each other, ironically, of course. Meanwhile, the girls were standing around the edge of the dance floor waiting.

Eventually, they gave up and started dragging each other onto the floor. Some even went over and tried to coax the guys to come out. It didn't work. There were two girls for every guy. The DJ repeatedly re-explained the rules and purpose.

Didn't matter. Nothing changed. He was baffled by it. It didn't used to be like this. The next day, one of the mom's younger daughters said something that sums it all up. I'm graduating, and I've never danced with a guy.

Contrast that with her older sister, who just seven or eight years ago came home from prom having danced with seven or eight different young men in one evening. Something's shifted. It's not just social anxiety or awkwardness.

It's paralysis. It's absence. Yeah, it's unsettling. The same trend was the focus of a recent video from Charisma on Command titled, The Shift in Masculinity is Scary. It used the Reacher series on Amazon Prime as a cultural case study.

Reacher is a walking male power fantasy. Big, competent, calm under pressure, lethal in a fight. Yet, in the modern adaption, he is oddly passive with women. He never initiates anything romantic. In fact, the women have to do it all but throw themselves at him just to get a kiss.

This isn't how Reacher was written in the books, and it's not how male leads used to behave. Go back and watch The Girl Next Door or Casino Royale. Whatever flaws these movies had, the men at least wanted something, and they acted on it.

Desire was visible, rejection was possible, and risk was part of the reward. That's what's missing now, initiative. Reacher has been reimagined into a man who wins without waiting. He gets the girl without having to pursue her.

There's no risk, no rejection, no emotional vulnerability. He's strong in every area except the one that requires personal agency. The problem is it's not just fiction. The video rightly points out that more and more young men are living like this is real life.

They aren't avoiding women because they're ascetic or holy. They're avoiding women because they're afraid. Afraid of rejection, afraid of misreading a situation, afraid of being embarrassed, canceled, or misunderstood.

Instead, they scroll, they lift, they build, they wait. They distract themselves endlessly preparing for a moment they never plan to seize. I thought it was overstated, but I digress. It's not that they don't want anything.

It's that they've lost touch with how to act on what they want. They've been taught to suppress desire instead of disciplining it. They've learned that passivity feels safer than pursuit. I used to think this was mainly a problem in my own circles.

I've harped plenty on the socially stunted sons of reformed households, the boys who can quote theologians from memory but can't make eye contact. Let's be honest. This isn't a reformed problem. It's a cultural one.

We're producing our own brand of it. A lot of young men today have rightly rejected the old just be yourself lie and embraced the call to improve yourself. That's a good shift. You see more of them focusing on fitness, career goals, and personal discipline, but that growth often stalls out when it comes to relationships, especially with women.

They've learned how to level up but not how to move towards someone. They're told to develop themselves but warned off pursuit, so they become hesitant, uncertain, stuck. What's needed now is the courage to carry that same sense of purpose into the social realm to risk, initiate, and act with clarity and resolve even when the outcome isn't guaranteed.

Maybe we need to say this to our sons directly. If you like her, ask. If you want something, step up. If you get rejected, survive it, but don't stand on the edge of the dance floor waiting for someone else to make the first move.

Okay. That is a sobering read. I read it a few months ago and just thought it was profound, and it resonated with what I've seen. It rung true to me with my own observations. I think the polling is, I don't know if it backs it up, but it at least supports.

The polling that I'm going to show you reflects what was described in this particular post. I think there's a sensitivity to blaming men. I think that's an obvious problem that we've had for years is thinking men are the problems, women aren't.

That's clearly true. That's a problem, that narrative. Men are not the problems. Women are not the problems. This isn't a boy versus girl thing. There's something deeper than all of that that's going on.

I do think, in fact, I have it on my desk. I thought I had it on my desk. I don't know where it went. I have Washington's Rules of Civility. I must have put it on the bookshelf. Usually, it's on my desk.

I think what's happened is the rules for social engagement between two different sexes have been eroded to the point that men especially don't know what to do. Because they're the initiators, because they're expected to be the ones to make the first move and to facilitate social engagements, traditionally, they are up a river.

They don't know what to do. There's a lot of ignorance. It's a big dilemma. It's a big problem. There's so many different models out there that even ones that claim to be biblical. I was just with someone over the weekend who we were talking, and I think she was making some good points about how, quote, unquote, purity culture may have contributed to some of this, like the Josh Harris I Kissed Dating Goodbye stuff.

That was a reaction to recreational dating. You had recreational dating. Before that, you would have had a form of courtship where you were forced more or less to have barriers. You would have a room or a front porch, let's say, on a swing or something.

You'd have had a place, a parlor, to talk to a girl, and you were supervised. It was safe. The girl felt safe. You could actually get to know her, which was necessary if you were going to marry this person.

That's how our society has done it for a long time. You do have some agency in this. You are free to reject someone if you're a girl, and you're free to initiate with someone if you're a guy. There are friends, and there are, most importantly, parents, and then social leaders.

Well, that's all broken down. And yeah, the automobile probably contributed to some of this. You could go off with a girl and elude detection and all of that, and that became the recreational dating scene and the youth culture of the 50s, 60s.

But then you had a backlash against it in certain Christian circles with the courtship model, which was... I don't have time to really give a full, detailed critique of that, but I think if there was one problem that stands out to me, it was that there was a lot of pressure on relationships very initially, and I felt that myself because I was somewhat influenced by some of that.

I think my own distinct personality cuts against that grain just naturally. I guess this is important for people who just want to know kind of how I did things, but I read all those books. I gleaned what I could because there's some things to glean from those, but I also basically dated.

Yes, I would ask the permission of the father when it got to a point where I thought it was getting serious and it could potentially be heading towards a marriage when it wasn't just in a group setting, when it was more exclusive, I would say.

That's when I would start thinking about that. I should probably talk to the father. I took some things from it, but I was also pretty motivated that once I knew what I wanted, I pursued it. What happened though with the courtship thing, and I got into trouble a little bit because I took some of this probably from it, was you're putting a pressure on the relationship very initially into the relationship.

Let's say if I felt that this was a good thing to be exclusive and to get serious, and let's say the girl didn't feel that way yet, which that's a typical scenario, by the way. It's not always that way, but typically it's that the guy kind of knows what he wants, girl doesn't.

At least where I come from, how I grew up, that's how a lot of my friends were. It can be daunting if a guy is not exactly proposing marriage, but he sort of is. He's saying, I want a serious relationship that could lead towards marriage.

It takes the levity and the fun in getting to know each other out of it. It puts a strain on the relationship, perhaps, that could make or break it at an early stage. Anyway, I say all that to lead to this.

I made a post. Did I not pull it up? I thought I pulled it up. Oh, no. Let me see if I I guess I didn't. Okay. Well, we're going to talk about No, I did. Here it is. Here it is. You can see it.

I made a post earlier in the week, and I got a little I mean, it didn't get viral or anything, but I did have a few people ask me about one of the things I said. I said, if you're a young man and you want an edge, guard your time.

You'll only be young once. Invest your energy into long-term changes. Careful of screen time. Love your people. Spend time in chat groups and more time with the people around you. Cultivate real lasting relationships.

Save your money. Don't blow it on expensive hobbies, elaborate food, unnecessary education expenses. Learn a trade. Then pursue higher education if you're going to do it. Have something to fall back on.

Know God. With the time you have, get to know God in a deeper way before the stresses of life overcrowd your resources. It will help you resist temptation and stand secure. Then I said, date broadly. Get to know as many girls as you can.

Understand who you would want as a good wife and get serious as soon as you know that's the one. Don't keep her on a string. I got a little bit of pushback for that. John, that's worldly. Don't talk about that.

Dating is not the Christian way or something. I'm going to double down, maybe triple down on this. I say that for a reason. I say that because of what I just read. I'm not saying do recreational dating where the whole goal, let's say, is just to have fun.

You're not thinking beyond that. I think in the back of everyone's mind as they're dating, you should be open. You're doing this. You're engaging with this person because you are creating the environment and having the experiences that are necessary to determine whether this is the kind of person you want raising your children.

That's what dating should be. The end is marriage and glorifying God in that, raising up kids in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. The end is not the fun you're having in the moment. Dating should be more than just having fun too.

It should be doing voluntary projects and working. You should see each other in as many environments as you can, in my opinion, as long as the appropriate environments. You should be around as many people as you can that you trust, that have good advice and know you.

You should date broadly. You should get to know a wide range of people. The reason I say it is because I definitely noticed this trend where guys, and I know girls too, but I'm more familiar with guys.

Guys are mediating things through screens. They're exactly what that Michael Foster post depicted. They don't know what to do or they're afraid to do it. They're afraid of the awkwardness. They're afraid of the social ostracization.

That cannot be underplayed because with the way social media is now, you could do something. Look at this late girl, Riley. She probably never thought that she was going to be on the fault line for a culture war controversy.

We'll get back to that video in a moment. There's a very high incentive not to get involved in things that could potentially make you look awkward. There's cameras everywhere. You don't even know who's recording.

That's intimidating for guys and gals. For guys, I think, because they're the ones that traditionally, and I think by God's design, are to take the initiative. Christ pursued the church. It creates a hard situation to jumpstart in.

I think if you do it more, if you date more, you get practice. You start to learn what girls are like. If you don't know that, you start to learn how to treat a girl. You learn things like chivalry. That's why I was going to reference George Washington's Rules of Civility because it has a lot of good things.

Some of them are outdated, but there's a lot. Think about this. How many guys still open doors for women? How many guys even know what part of the sidewalk to walk on, street side or business side when they're walking with a girl?

How many guys know how to just talk to a girl in a respectful way that's not weird and creepy? This is a scary thing. How many guys know how to compliment a girl? This is something that now some guys get in trouble for.

They've been hammered so much by the Me Too people. They're afraid of even noticing a girl's beauty. They're not even trying to do a quote unquote catcall or something dirty or anything like that. To even notice that a girl might look good, they're afraid they're going to be accused of something.

They don't do it. It creates a breakdown. There's natural things. There's also social things that we've developed that are actually really good that we're just forsaking. It has a social cost. The social cost is less marriages, less children.

It's the demise of your civilization. Civilizations that have competing mechanisms for fostering relationships that lead to children, like Muslim societies, where it's arranged, they're going to out-compete.

There's no question about it. Of course, they're going to out-compete because they have a system that actually works for the end of producing marriages and children. We're losing that. We need to get it back.

We're going to talk a little bit about that, how to get it back. I said I would come back to the video. I want to share this, and then we're going to play another video from Lyla Rose. Here's some screen captures I have.

Reactions to the video you saw at the beginning with Riley. These are ones that got a lot of traction. Evangelical Dark Web says, young men are learning that travel is a red flag and they aren't wrong.

Then there was a reaction to this that got 10 ,000 likes. I want to get... Oh, man, you know what? I shouldn't have showed this. I was going to censor this, and I totally forgot. I need to apologize to you all.

I was going to block that out. Forgive me. Some crass language. Mocking this girl, she wants to have a sexual relationship with multiple guys. That's the idea. Apparently, the only thing they have to go on is the fact that she said that she wants to travel.

Man, I wish I could show you this stuff. I'm kind of kicking myself for not censoring it, but I'm not going to show you stuff that I think should be censored. Anyway, this guy named Lewis Henley, I want to have a lot of people have a sexual relationship with me and then settle down.

That's what he's hearing as he's hearing Riley just say that she likes to travel and wants a travel buddy who is going to be emotionally intimate with her and that kind of thing. There's an account called Brotherhood that says, feminism has been dominant for so long that women her age never once considered what they bring to the table.

The idea that they shouldn't get exactly what they want from top-tier men, it's never occurred to her to change. It's such an interesting thing to read into that short clip, psychoanalyzing her to that extent.

I mean, there are some short clips you can tell things from, but I mean, that did not jump out at me from the clip. Another one, I love when travel. Man, OK, so. Crass, crass language, and this got a lot of traction, too.

I love when people who are loose get humbled. The reality is nobody cares when you traveled. All men here is how many different guys you've had an inappropriate relationship with in different states and countries.

So that's one end of the spectrum on X. These are guys who there's like this is over the top, like crazy in my mind. Like, how are you getting this from that? Like, I understand, OK, travel can be expensive.

Now, the first thing I thought was, well, maybe she's rich. You might be marrying into a rich family. But I didn't see any comment that said that. I was like, OK, I guess that possibility isn't there.

The comments were you're going to be in debt. OK, I understand that, by the way. Like, there's a lot of horror stories of guys who end up marrying someone who couldn't control their credit card. And yes, I know guys that marry girls who should have taken a financial class before probably getting married.

OK, I can see travel can be expensive. Now, I'd love to travel. I know how to do it for inexpensively. I know people who travel and actually have less lavish lifestyles because they save to travel. They're not doing fast food all the time.

They're eating. They only take what they need. They shop at the perimeters of the store. I mean, there's kind of like a whole lifestyle, but they love to have experiences. They love to travel. So I don't automatically assume that, but I can understand people who do.

So that's a legitimate, I suppose, concern you'd want to explore more. But here's the thing. I looked at the show, right? On the show, here's a few things you might not know if you've seen this clip, and that's all you've seen.

Riley was the first one to. So actually, I should probably back up. It's a dating game show where you have a veil or a curtain. Guys can't see girls. Girls can't see guys. And it's in Utah. And they're all complaining about how hard it is in Utah.

The dating scene is just so hard. Well, people in Utah actually get married earlier. So it's funny that the dating scene is just so hard, though. And they're trying to match them up so they can't see each other.

So all the comments about her looks and all that, irrelevant. They can't see her. And she is the first one to go up, which matches what she says about herself. She's adventurous. She just jumps on up there and they say, who's going to be the first to describe herself?

And the way it works is you narrow down. So as you hear someone, you raise your hand basically and say, I want to date her. And that's your shot if you're a guy. So when you're the first one and you have a room full of guys in there, this is the first time, this is the first girl they're hearing from.

There's already a disincentive to pick that girl because you don't know what's going to come next. And if there's anything I learned about Gen Z and millennials, too, it's very hard to nail down dates and times because you might have something else that comes up.

So that could be a big part of the reason she wasn't picked. Just that dynamic. No one that I saw online is commenting on that, but that's probably a big part of it. But guys here, guys are making faces.

They were doing that the whole time with all the other girls, too. Guys are very dramatic guys, some of them, not all of them. And no one ends up picking her. So it's kind of embarrassing for her, but she did something.

The way she handled it in the show is kind of mature. She's saying, yeah, it's kind of tough not to be picked, but I'm glad I went out there kind of thing. And that is the spirit, honestly. But people were saying, guys were saying that the ones who had made better points than just she's must be a loose woman were saying, well, look what she's saying about herself.

She wants a guy who's going to be an appendage to her, a travel buddy. Who wants that? And I think it's also important to point out the show itself is a dating show. It's supposed to be the kinds of things you would talk about on a first date.

It's supposed to lead to potentially marriage. That's baked in already. They know why they're there. It's not casual in the course of going to church or going out to a business or something, or you're not in the gym.

You're not like this is a show that has a purpose already, and it is to pursue a relationship. So that's already baked in. What kinds of things do you talk about on your first date? I was thinking about this.

I wanted a girl who liked to travel. So I already have sympathies when a girl likes to travel because I dated girls who didn't really care for that as much or didn't know about it. And I love to travel.

So not expensively, but I do want someone who wants to go share other new experiences, who's not just a homebody. So I don't see that as a big inhibitor. I don't like sharks. So scuba diving, not really probably the thing I'm going to want to do.

But I probably wouldn't date someone like that just because I know this sounds superficial, but I don't know. If I put myself in the shoes of the guys there, I mean, I wouldn't be on a show like that anyway.

But I don't know. It's more of a preference thing, something about her voice. And I'm not expecting her, though, in that scenario to spill her guts out about her hopes and dreams and desires in every way.

It's already assumed that this is what the intent is, that you're going to probably get married or possibly get married. You're pursuing a relationship. You might date and go in that direction. These are Mormons.

So that's already an expectation. And you're probably just going to try to keep it light. And that's what she did. It's the long walks at the beach thing. So that's how I view it. I don't think it's a big deal, but I do see how some guys could look at some of the comments, she says, and at least say they're yellow flags.

Okay, yellow flag. Travel could be yellow flag. Agreed. It could be. You would just need to know more, right? Going to Australia, that is pretty expensive. So maybe yellow, red, maybe red, but you don't have enough info.

But obviously, this struck a nerve. There's a lot of guys who have been burned, or if they haven't been burned, they have friends who have, and they see this as a bad deal. Bad deal. So that's the dynamic that I see out there with that.

And I have some thoughts, but I wanted to play this Lila Rose video because my thoughts are related to this one too. So I'm going to play this and then there's guys, man, you guys are opinionated even in this chat about this.

All right. I wanted to show one more thing. Okay. I'm going to play this Lila Rose video, but first I wanted to, can I show this to you? Nope. I can't. I don't think, because I think it's got stuff I wanted to edit out too.

Yeah. It's got some dirty stuff. Okay. So here's the other end of the spectrum. Ready? Hannah Cox, women think being active and adventurous will make men want them. In reality, the current generation of young men are at home addicted to porn and video games and don't have the money for fun hobbies or adventure.

I recently talked about how international travel has become female coded and why you can tell by their faces. They know they can't keep up with her even before she starts talking about themed parties, right?

And yeah, that was the other thing. The theme parties thing. I probably would have been out at that point. Like, I'm not going to do the theme parties thing. Sorry. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it.

It's just not, I don't, I think it's, I don't know, not me. So Hannah Cox, who's a commentator on social media, she is saying the guys are losers essentially. All right. Uh, the free feminist says some men claim they only want to date a high value woman, but then they meet one and they reject her and then wonder why they're single and they're idiotic.

So there you go. Uh, and then Tyler, and these are all comments that got a lot of traction. It says everyone is missing the point here. The guys aren't passing her up because she's not fun or interesting.

It's because she's not, and I'll substitute here, sexually alluring. Well, of course they can't see her. So that's just an ignorant comment. So, um, those are your options, right? Those are your, those are the extreme ends of like, the guys are all losers.

They're just, the guys are all terrible and they're passing up this great opportunity. And then on the other extreme, uh, the girl is a sexually loose woman clearly because she likes to travel. And then you're sitting there like, why can't we be normal?