Marriage Series #2 - Joseph & Mary — Don McClure

Tonight we're gonna be looking at Joseph and Mary in this kind of a series. It will probably take five or six weeks and Sunday nights Studying marriage together and so if you'll turn with me to both the book of Luke chapter 1 hold your finger in there once you get There and then turn as well to Matthew chapter 1.

We're gonna look at Joseph and Mary and To me I've entitled them in my own notes. The qualities of a successful marriage and a lot of things to learn like every marriage has to learn but they learn them.

But beginning at first in Luke chapter 1 beginning at verse 26 We'll find out is what the scriptures have to say and tell us a little about Joseph and Mary. Says now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth to a virgin.

Betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph of the house of David. The virgin's name was Mary and having come in the angel said to her rejoice highly favored one. The Lord is with you blessed are you among women?

But when she saw him she was troubled at his saint and considered what manner of greeting this was. Then the angel said to her don't be afraid Mary for you have found favor with God. And behold you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a son and shall call his name Jesus and he will be great and will be called the son of the highest and the Lord will give him the throne of his Father David and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever.

And of his kingdom there will be no end. Well, then Mary said to the angel. How can this be since I do not know a man? The angel answered and he said in her the Holy Spirit will come upon you and the power of the highest will overshadow you.

Therefore also the Holy One who is to be born will be called the Son of God. Now indeed Elizabeth your relative is also conceived a son in her old age. And this is now the sixth month. For who or was who was called barren for with God?

Nothing will be impossible. Then Mary said behold the maidservant of the Lord let it be to me according to your word and the angel departed from her. Then on over into Matthew chapter 1 Verse 18 another side of the same story.

Now the birth of Jesus was as follows after his mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph. Before they came together. She was found with child of the Holy Spirit. Then Joseph her husband being a just man and not wanting to make her a public example was minded to put her away secretly.

But when he thought about these things behold the angel the Lord appeared in him in a dream and saying Joseph son of David do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit and She will bring forth a son and you will call his name Jesus and he will save his people from their sins.

Now all this was done that it might be fulfilled that which was spoken by the Lord through the prophet saying behold a virgin Shall be with child and bear a son and they shall call his name Emmanuel which is translated God with us.

Then Joseph being aroused from sleep did as the age of the Lord commanded him and took To him his wife and did not know her until she brought forth her firstborn son, and he called his name Jesus. Let's pray and let's look at this together Lord how we thank you for your word and we asked tonight as we study The relationship of Joseph and Mary the things Lord that they had to learn in their life in their marriage.

Lord We asked you to teach it to every one of us Qualities that we all require for any relationship to succeed but more so than any in a marriage. But we asked you to teach them to us all whether we're married or not.

Lord if we've been married a long time we asked that you would just reteach us these things if we need be Taught them Lord if we are young and not even thinking of marriage at this time. But Lord that we would take these things and learn them Ponder them in our heart and Lord that when the day comes that we'd be called upon For them we'd know them and so teach us feed his father for we ask it in Jesus name Amen, well, I think it's probably safe to say That there probably has never been a marriage quite like Joseph and Mary's in in many ways at least as an initial evaluation Of it.

I think everyone say their relationship was quite unique and yet with a little closer Investigation of their marriage you come to find I don't think it is all that unique in The sense that the things that they had to learn every marriage has to learn them and they had to learn them.

Maybe just to give a little of the scenario as we read of course out of Matthew and Luke and piecing these things together. He doesn't take too long to realize that here's this young couple Obviously a godly couple the Lord spoke to both of them.

But it and worked within both of their lives and selected them for this relationship selected them for this marriage selected them to be Of course married to be the mother of Jesus and Joseph there to be as a stepfather to physically carry care for this Baby, of course coming into the world and delete him and guide him in many ways.

But here is this young godly couple I'm sure very much in love they probably of course here. They are during that what it's called in the Bible an espousal period it's much like our engagement period only a little bit more Intense in it is the way the espousal period was it was one to where essentially they were married.

They were already sharing the financial responsibilities are already working through a lot of other things in the marriage. But they were not yet married they were espoused and more intense as I said than our engagement but it was not yet consummated in a physical relationship and they still both were to maintain their purity and their virginity until the pronouncement of their Engagement or espousal period coming to an end and then the marriage to head off.

But we would think of it very much and very close somewhat to our what we call engagement. But and I'm sure this couple very much in love I'm sure they're quite a happy couple an excited couple probably had all the plans that everybody kind of has until one day Angel Gabriel came along and kind of threw a monkey wrench right in the middle of this thing.

He definitely fouled things up for a time didn't he and is here he comes along course to Mary and he tells him you know Mary blessed art thou among women and Then as the salutation goes on she's trying to figure out who what's going on.

What's being discussed here and then he said you're going to bring forth the child. You're gonna have a son and he will be the child of the Most Highest. He will be Emmanuel God with us. He is going to become the Savior of the world.

He will inherit the throne of his father David of his kingdom. There should be no end you are going to be. The woman that is going to bring forth he who is from everlasting to everlasting the king of kings the Lord of lords.

You're chosen blessed art thou among women. Well here is the angel speaks to her she of course is immediately taken back. We've got a little problem here and the problem is is how could this be since I've never known a man and All the things to say I'm going to have a child.

She was wise enough to know where they came from. She of course realized that requirement had never been fulfilled in her life to have a child in that way. And she said to him how could this be and then he explained her?

No, no, this is not going to be the result of any physical relationship. This isn't going to be anything that Joseph Or any other human is going to participate in. Joseph can't of course produce. Such a man is as we you know, it's such a one that could fulfill Being the Son of God one of the things that's an absolute requirement of Christianity essentially the very foundation of it is the virgin birth of Christ.

If Jesus was just born of men then he was a sinner like the rest of them. But the it had to be something where Mary she could provide a physical visible body for the Messiah. But she couldn't require she couldn't provide the life that had been forfeited in sin man, ever since he died in sin, he was dead in his trespasses and sins and Adam and Eve they could reproduce but they could only reproduce that which they were bodily alive, you know.

Soulishly active but spiritually they were dead and for Jesus to be able to come and spiritually minister anyone He had to be born from above and so the angel explains to her No, that which is going to be born of you will be that of the Holy Spirit.

He will overshadow you almost to me a wonderful picture and much like the Hebrew word in transliteration here in the Greek of of a word almost of brooding over in a sense just as in the Old Testament when the Spirit of God in the Literally brooded over creation brooded over in a sense of the forming of Adam in the garden and then as the Spirit of God was breathed into that hunk of clay and Adam came alive.

Well, Mary could provide the physical body, but that's it. The Spirit of God must do the rest. And so there as This was a heavenly in a spiritual work. There was no physical contact or anything like that, of course.

But it was one there to where as she realizes this she of course She says well be it unto me according to thy word. She then goes from there though. And I'm sure it must have been interesting listening to her try to explain this to Joseph.

But of course he couldn't hear it. He doesn't believe and didn't believe it at all. So Mary ends up going there to visit. Who would believe because here Gabriel and explained to her that Elizabeth and Zacharias that she was with child and not miraculous at all, you know John the Baptist though.

He was filled with the Holy Spirit from his mother's womb. Miraculously, he was the production of a normal human relationship. Zacharias was very much the father and But in God had particularly and wonderfully planned for John the Baptist as the forerunner of Jesus.

Well, Mary ended up as She kind of did the things that a lot of girls in this sort of circumstance tend to do she went and visited relatives and There as she went to Zacharias and Elizabeth's house there.

She had a wonderful fellowship for she's no sooner got there. Of course then then there as as the Lord had even revealed it unto Elizabeth she calls Mary the mother of the Lord and there John the Baptist even leaps within the womb of Of Elizabeth and Much there's it is a wonderful testimony in the scriptures of a of a cognizant life in the womb.

And of a real life that's in there as John the Baptist even there when Jesus was brought in there within the womb of Mary and John the Baptist's forerunner even leaped within him and. But meantime Joseph he's back there.

He's tossing and turning I think probably night after night trying to decide what is he gonna do? Realizes, you know there and the only thing he can decide to do is to just put Mary away secretly. He didn't believe her story Obviously, and he was just going to put her away rather than bring disgrace upon her and upon her whole family then as the word tells us though is that then Gabriel came and spoke to Joseph in a dream and Explains to her the same thing and tells her no Joseph.

This is so she's going to bring forth a son and you will call his name Jesus he will save his people and then when Joseph realized that Mary was telling the truth as the angel revealed it under unto him he went and joined her and Took her to be his wife.

And of course, though he did not go on to physically know her until after the birth of Jesus. But when you watch this marriage, you watch this relationship develop it to me as I said earlier. It had all the basic qualities that are there Vital that are foundational for the success of any marriage.

For them to occur though. The story is quite unique. It isn't really not with the issues that they had to decide. The first thing about them that they had decided that every marriage has to deal with is number one trust.

There had to be something in their relationship or the first thing just trust in the Lord. Number one, that's what they both had to do. He had to absolutely be number one in life and to me this is an amazing thing when I look at Mary when you stop to think here this young woman and Here she is with all of life and ahead of her.

There's Joseph and all their plans and all their dreams and out of the blue. Quite literally an angel comes to her and disrupts her whole plan of life and he tells her in essence, you know I'm going to change your life forever, and I want you to follow me.

I want you your life to be available that I can take my son or the Son of God and place him within your life and In your life will change obviously as a result. He didn't make any promises to her how Joseph would receive it.

What would happen to her marriage? What would happen to her family? What would happen to her future? What happened to anything? He she had to there at that conversation release her entire future into the hands of God.

It had to be something there and I believe everyone in life has to do this. There's got to be a thing in our life to where we're really able as much as the Lord Gives us one another as much as we're to love one another in this life and as much as we can be excited about.

Contemplating the idea of having one another it's still the most vital thing in life. Is that number one? I trust him to where the Lord is. Absolutely. Number one within my life. And of course Jesus himself explained this quite simply quite clear.

He said if any man come after me and ate not his mother father wife children. Yeah, even his own life. He isn't worthy of me. He looks there and he says I want to make it quite clear that the foundational issue of all of life He says I want to be Number one.

It's not a negotiable thing as far as he's concerned as far as she's concerned. He says if anybody comes after me and follows me and you refuse to put me first within your life. If there is mother father wife children, yeah, even your own life that comes ahead of me you ought to hate that relationship.

We're never to hate people. But I believe we are and Jesus teaches us if there's any relationship in all of our life That means more than our relationship with him. We ought to hate the fact that a relationship a human relationship a finite relationship.

Has more authority in our soul than God. That anything that anybody that would speak any voice we would hear whether it's the voice of a mother or a father or a wife. Or a husband or a child or anybody else at all the world that we would ever hear any form of communication with.

That if it would have greater authority than the voice of heaven, we ought to hate it. We ought to despise the fact that something has been able to exercise such a powerful authority. It's actually put God into a lesser place.

And it's something there that Mary early on in her life she had to come to grips with this. Here is the Lord came and he called her to himself in a special way. She had to be able to take her entire life and set it aside.

Little did she I think realize the ultimate ramifications and how wonderful this would be now God would work things out in a glorious way, but she at the time just had to add to her issue now was surrender and She had to give up something.

She had to give up Joseph. She had to give up her future. She had to be willing and know so many times as we're going through our life or constantly. There's something out here. I want this I wanted so I wish I had this which is within our grasp almost and then sometimes the Lord says no.

Let it go and then the turmoil begins. Here God lets this whole engagement the whole espousal Period come along all the sense of the hope the closeness as any engagement period would have those times together walking in the evening contemplating discussing their lives discussing their future.

Discussing their children discussing all of these things that every engaged couple thinks and plans all of the intimate heart and thought of life and then to have something come in in the middle at such a timing like this and We're God interceded and said Mary.

I want to be number one. And all in the ramifications of it was you got to set Joseph aside. He didn't say at all. What would happen with this? No one assurances or insurance of anything. But however, he does tell us and something I think that is important We'd all know is the Lord tells us he promises in a word.

He tells us if anybody comes after me and he says he gives up house home lands goods. He gives up anything in this life. He tells him he says I will restore it a hundredfold in this life and in the life to come.

The wonderful promises and the Lord knows these tensions. He knows these difficulties that every human being has. He knows how much you know how real these pressures are how great the impulses and the desires for all the things of a marriage or a home or in a family in a house and a home and Goods and cars and everything, but when we can come and he just says if you're willing to surrender it.

He says I promise you I you know, you'll never ever give anything up. That's one of the things that I learned and I'm so grateful. I learned I've never given up a thing never at all in my life. As a Christian, that's for sure that it isn't something where God promises all you're doing anytime me as a Christian you give anything up.

You're not giving up. You're only investing it in the wisest way. Could you ever dream of any investment that'll promise a guaranteed a hundredfold return? That's what his word the very one that tells me he's going to redeem me and change means his image says don't ever worry about.

What you give to me it's taken care of but at the time the pressure can be so hard. At the time the difficulty of it and she had to deal with this. And so also though I believe every marriage that where we really come in our own life.

And we know what it is to put things first and then when we surrender it. Somebody once said you never possess anything until you've surrendered it. You never own it until you've given it up and then when you've given it up and God gives it back to you from now On it's a gift.

It's a borrowed thing when you have to hold on to any relationship when there's anything you say I cannot give this up. I absolutely have to have this. Undeciably you're in trouble. You're on very scary ground.

There's somebody that you're trusting in more than you're trusting in the Lord. But when you can look and say God You're first and as much as I may love my husband or my wife or my job or my children or my anything I love you first.

If you want to do your mate the greatest favor or anyone else in this life. You'll ever do them put the Lord ahead of them. Don't even on an equal plane or a lesser. If you want to help them and you want to strengthen your relationship with him put him.

Put the Lord first and then see to it in your own heart you can as difficult as it may be sit there and say Lord there next and At the time that this is happening all we see maybe is we're losing. All we see is I don't like this God is this some test or what's happening or what's going on or we're confused.

But when we're willing to follow him many times I think he does things that initially are to the confusing to the soul but they're strengthening to the faith and Reminded me as I was thinking about this of a story of a fellow when I was down in Redlands he went to the Air Force Academy and brilliant young man and and Difficult school to get into and he got into it and he went through it.

He came out of it with honors and he had quite a career all going for him and he had the dream of being a fighter pilot and You know and moving up through the Air Force and flying the f -15s and everything else.

But through the process of this whole time in the Air Force he got converted. He came to Christ and he'd given him his life and he began he'd loved the word. He began to grow and grow and day by day. He was just in it and he and next thing you knew is he knew is that the love for the word?

The love for God it just so grew within him. It's like all these things that were once so important in his life they just were taking a lesser place and he felt called to the mission field and So called and he prayed so much about it.

Going to his commanding officer to find out what he would have to do to get an early release from the Air Force. Hoping that God as he prayed much about it. The God was just going to work it out and get in this release so he could go get training to go on to the mission field.

Well rather than that, they not only didn't give him an early release. They sent him to Norton Air Force Base in Southern, California where I met him. Which for an Air Force Academy man and a guy who wanted to be a fighter pilot?

Wasn't the place you really usually wanted to go that's kind of a cargo they you know, they're the c -5s and the c -131s and it's a. It's a cargo Place that it keeps the supplies running back and forth the United States the Philippines and others.

So there's no big hotshot fighter pilots flying in and out around there and they just took him out of the program. He was in decided. Well, we can't keep him in this program. If when the guy gets an opportunity to leave.

And he just been honest and done what he prayed about and thought was right and here he's wondering what am I doing here? How could such a thing like this happen when he felt he was just honoring God and seeking his will.

Well, he talked to me one time about it and we had a number of conversations and he was really a wonderful young man but I Asked him. Well, what has God told you to do with your life? He says missions.

I said then start doing it start doing it now. I'll wait till you get out of the Air Force and we had a team about 30 people that went down every six weeks to Mexico we built a number of churches down there and trained leaders and we went back and forth and had a medical team and a food team and a building team and It went down and there was a wonderful thing.

I said get involved with that. No, we prayed about it. And he said if you're called to missions it isn't someday. It's right now. Well, he went off down for weekend. He came back from over the weekend his first weekend I think it was and he had stars in his eyes.

He was the most excited guy and he says you'll never guess who I met this weekend on a missionary trip. Well, I didn't have to guess the way he was looking. I married the two of them about a year later and now they're on the mission field today.

But the thing is is so often we when we are just doing what God wants as best we know it maybe there's things that are Diversion. God takes away something and doesn't seem to replace it or he may put us through a sequence that all we just see is a void for a time but even in that the wisdom of God is smarter than the intelligence of men and Whatever what God was doing at that time.

It was wonderful. He was just preparing him and bringing him to a greater degree of just trust in the Lord Joseph not only to Mary had to learn what it was to put the Lord first. So also to Joseph. He's somebody when you look at he had to learn the exact same lesson.

I'm sure he loved Mary deeply. I'm sure he was somebody there that he obviously though when she came to him with this story. Could you imagine if there's there's some time sometimes some things that you read in the Bible that I just wish I had a video of.

And you know would just be quite a thing to listen to these two and Mary came to Joseph after this it says Joe we got to talk, you know in the now sit down because this is the most exciting stuff You've ever heard, you know, and he's probably okay.

Tell me that's this you maybe came there and probably had to be as nervous as anybody human ever was if you could imagine. This conversation, you know what had to happen Between the two of them, but as she tried to explain Gabriel.

She tried to explain this whole thing. I'm sure Joseph's mind just had to immediately just spin. The man had to be borderline incoherent staring at her trying to figure out what in the world is she talking about?

I thought I knew her. She's sweet. She's kind. She's precious. She's a spiritual woman. She's wonderful. I I dreamed of being married to her but look I can't believe I'm hearing what I'm hearing. Why can't you tell me the truth?

And though he couldn't believe what he thought was the obvious truth. I'm sure but there he found himself there. Just coming to the place where he couldn't go on with the marriage. He there looked there and he realized that biblically that God couldn't bless the relationship as he understood it.

She'd been unfaithful to him and she'd lied about it. That's all he knew. He didn't believe he was gonna put her away it says. Secretly maybe just out of honor for the family, but he couldn't go on with it.

He looked there and realized that we have obviously no foundation for a relationship here. We have no way that we can go on as long as you're gonna talk to me and tell me stuff like this. There's no way at all that that that we can go on and Here is the two of them probably taught.

He had to learn himself he had to trust her and maybe he loved her and he cared and everything within him. Maybe he says oh go on with it. Maybe and all of his own impulses I still love her so and maybe she's made a dumb mistake and she's been stupid about it.

And she's not able to trust me enough and but there was still something Lord. I can't do this. Can't go on with it. Because he knew you've got to be right with each other to build a marriage you've got to and There was something to where they weren't right as far as every faculty within him as a human being I'm quite sure he realized this was not right.

But being willing he she was willing to give him up. He was willing to give her up and That was something both of them. I believe just out of a wonderful priority of honoring God. And God wonderfully works at times like that when somebody though You may have somebody out there in front of you and they seem like the apparent person and the one that you want and seems To be so good.

But if it isn't at the very core of it's something to where the Lord is first in your life you ought to step back right away and and stay away from it like a plague until that he puts it where it ought to be and That to me is is so important.

I remember when I started growing in the Lord eyes in college and it was just starting to come together as I was growing and getting into the word and having some Fellowship with others and in kind of a discipleship group and we would talk about our relationships and things.

Well at the time I was in college and I was dating a girl. I was in fraternity life. She was a sorority and she was a very pretty girl. Nothing. Nothing like my wife, of course but I mean very pretty very nice girl, very sweet girl and She Was a yell leader for the football team and all this very popular and and we had a Fine relationship in a lot of fun.

Very entertaining joyful person. But as all this began stirring within me. The thing is I would begin to talk to her about what God was doing in my life. I as I look into her face, it was always blank.

It was like well, okay. And but she had no interest. They began the more we talked is in she to me is bad. The more I knew her and as much as I liked her and as much as I cared for her and she cared for me.

It was something though. I began to realize we do not have this in common. We used to have a fine life in common. But the Lord came into mind and began to disrupt the whole thing and next thing, you know.

It seems like every time we're out and every date or every discussion and I can remember Sitting around and just having endless discussions because I was saying my life was going in a different direction.

And as far as she was concerned she was getting mad at God because he was spoiling a fine relationship and She liked God. She believed in God. She went to mass several times a week and And she even got his finally the day I'll never forget I sitting and out in the parking lot and in college and they're saying this is it I'm sorry, but I know I can't go on with this and I like you and I care for you and you're a wonderful person.

But I just know I had some one of the guys that I prayed with and met with. Regularly and we talked and talked and prayed about this and I realized the need to let it go although my own heart I was hoping through it will she'll get saved and Something dramatic will happen and God wants me to give her up and if I give her up he's gonna fix her and give her back.

Well, I did my part. He never did his but the thing is is he is he did? He was in essence what I wanted. I never dreamed I'd get what what he did have for me. But but if I couldn't give her up I never obviously would have met the woman that that I did that was the perfect Compliment for me and the one that that is was fashioned in heaven for me.

She's fine, but nothing like what I got and but I had to go through the trial of giving it up. And I think that's in Joseph and Mary went through that they had to trust the Lord first. Secondly, they had to trust the Lord for each other's lives.

They I'm sure again how much they loved each other and again I wonder what these conversations were about on how is Mary probably again and again tried to explain this to Joseph. Imagine she looked there and I don't know how many times Joseph probably said, okay now let's go through this again.

Let me hear this story again an angel. But it was a he angel wasn't it? Angel Gabriel he you know came and I see I mean I'm a who knows what he the guy was thinking here somebody came and Were you were you drinking anything at the time that this angel visited with you dear Mary?

I or now tell me all about this one more time. But it was something there that I'm sure that no matter you know how much they talked how much they tried to share that he just stared within this woman and realized there that it's.

There's no hope here. You see because ultimately what had to happen is Joseph Ultimately needed the exact same supernatural spiritual revelation that Mary did herself. The here when it wasn't revealed to Mary by human ears.

It was revealed by heaven. God came and made it known unto her the Lord opened up her heart at life, and if he hadn't done it for Joseph hadn't happened for him and. And it's interesting here that until that happened it wasn't going to happen.

I think you could talk to your blue in the face. You're gonna be talking two different languages. No matter how hard you try and and the interesting thing to me about this relationship. And I think this is again common about most marriages, and that is this couple as fine as they were they didn't grow together.

Oftentimes you do and and that's wonderful when that happens. But the longer you get you're married the more you realize oftentimes. You don't. You aren't growing together. Different things are happening in your lives at different times.

And I wondered about that when I studied this night. I don't know about you, but I mean did you. I wonder why? Why didn't God tell them both together at the same time? Why didn't he do that? Why didn't you just tell him one night while they're together?

I'm sure they're commonly together these you know as is every engaged couple wants to be you could have saved three months of misery three months of miscommunication three months of Misunderstanding of suffering of grief of mistrust with each other of a broken-down Relationship you could have saved it all.

Why didn't you just tell Joseph and Mary one night while they were out for a walk together? Why didn't Gabriel come together Joseph Mary? Exciting news. Sit down. Let's talk and then you work it out to where the both of them together.

It all happened right there at the same time wouldn't it have been easy. It's been wonderful. I think most people would think Why not tell the whole family though as well? Why not tell them all you know, I'm sure they both came from very devout.

You know Hebrew good Jewish families and things why not tell them both? You know tell them not only tell the both of them tell all the family. Because you also there when Jesus came he separated an entire family and make no mistake about that.

That's what he did. That's he could have done it differently, but he didn't you remember at the time that of course when Mary You know brought forth Jesus when he was born they were in Bethlehem. Why were they in Bethlehem?

Caesar. He had told all the world to be taxed we're doing a census here to go back to the you know The house of your own lineage and here it was something when he came back to Bethlehem. He came home.

Joseph came to a city filled with relatives. Moms dads uncles aunts cousins. They were all ordered by Caesar to be there. It was something there. They were all no doubt in town as he got there. It was something I'm sure the place but he didn't go to mom's and dad's house.