God's Purpose For The Church

Who exists in unapproachable light. Lord, precious God on high, guardian of our souls, captain, host, we bless you, Lord, and we give to you, my God, this final session. Grateful that you're both an omega.

How does it go? An alpha and an omega. So you've been a wonderful alpha, and we look to you for your omega conclusion. You know what needs to be touched, what needs to be asserted, what needs to be understood.

So we look to you, my God, for the redemption of this time, that you're able both to provoke our questions and to give your answers. Give us a precious and full time, my God, we pray, orchestrated and ordained of you, and your so great and impeccable wisdom and love.

Thank you, Lord. So we stand at the brink of something, a threshold of not knowing, and we are confident, confident, Lord, our faith has grown day by day as we have seen you unfold your great heart and mind, and that you're consistent and can't be other than what you are in yourself.

Utterly faithful. So come, my God, and win a last admiration from your saints, and that we break through like water brought to a boil that has been cooking and heating, and this final last administration will bring us to the boil of adoration.

So we thank you, my God. Bless your name. Receive our gratitude. Have your way. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. I did compose just a paragraph or two when I got back to my room last night just to tidy up from that last message that I think to share with you that may be helpful to bring clarity, and this is that statement.

The church has broken through finally. Here's Psalm 102. In her own preoccupation with herself as a false center. How's that for an opening statement? Her preoccupation with herself as a false center.

It's remarkable how we can move from carnality to spirituality, but it still pertains to us. Our feeling, our blessing, our enjoyment is just as deadly an egocentrism as what we had practiced when we were in the world.

Then it was our pleasure, our amusement, our lust. Now it's our spirituality, our enjoyment of the faith, even the word or the worship. So to break out from that deadly egocentrism that is not in of itself necessarily met through salvation or coming into the church, we can bring it in to our Christian life, and it's all the more dangerous because it parades as spirituality.

Spirituality, in my opinion, is the last hiding place of self. If it will not find any other place, and you've been disabused of pornography or whatever it was that caught you up in the world, if it has no other place, it will hide in spirituality and encourage you in that so long as you are the center of your spiritual preoccupation.

I hope you're understanding that. It takes the crisis of Israel, see how God's all-wise provision to necessarily break us out from that last stronghold of self, of egocentrism. The church has broken through finally in her own preoccupation with herself as a false center, in and by its final ability to identify with a fallen Israel in her judgment.

That having mercy on her stones and compassion on her dust is the evidence of that breakthrough, of the final coming through into full identity with the Lord. But nothing would have provoked it but the crisis of Israel to identify with a fallen Israel in her judgment, not when she's at her best, when she's at her worst.

Until the same love by which God loved us while we were yet enemies, while, sorry, identifying with a fallen Israel in her judgment with the same love by which God loved us while we were yet enemies. We're doing to Israel what He has done for us.

He loved us while we were unattractive. He loved us when we were in judgment, when we were in sin. While we were yet enemies, He loved us. His love did not wait till we graduated. His love met us in that condition.

And when we will relate to Israel in exactly that way, while they are still enemies, we will be replicating and expressing the very nature of God, which is His love. When He has that, He has a people.

When He has a people like that, He has a bride. Replicating God, not through imitation, but through union. Dum-da-dum-dum. You can't play at this. This can't be the plate that you hit and it registers a thud.

This is the plate that is authentic because it's in union with Him. It's His sound that reverberates. His purpose for the church now being fulfilled, which is obtaining a bride for the bridegroom, He can now turn His full attention to deliver Israel before the face of all nations.

Now He can come out from Zion to be Israel's deliverer. And that deliverance is so profound, so utterly supernatural. Israel is in such a condition of captivity and literally in dungeons and in chains that the cries of the despairing rise up that His answer cannot be other than utterly supernatural.

It is the demonstration of Himself. And as Israel has proliferated throughout the nations in that condition of bondage and final captivity for which there's no human hope. See, Israel has got to be brought to the place where there's no human hope.

That's where I was brought 41 years ago. There was no human hope. I had been a humanist, Marxist, existentialist, and none of those things could answer for the predicament in which I found myself. And then the Lord came forth as Lord.

The critical point was aboard the deck of a tramp steamer on my way from Italy to Greece reading a New Testament for the first time and in the Gospel of John, the woman taken in the act of adultery. And I was afraid to read on.

Jesus was caught, trapped. What can He say? He had said He had come to fulfill the law. The law was death by stoning for an adulterer. I knew that it was legally and technically correct, but my heart was yearning for some deeper answer because I myself was an adulterer.

I was caught in the act by identifying with this woman and her predicament. And so here I'm reading a New Testament for the first time. I'm a Jewish atheist. This Jesus, remarkable figure, not at all what had been commended to me secondhand.

To go directly to the source, which I used to commend to my students as a history teacher, I myself had never done. Now I'm at the source. Jesus is caught. He made this remarkable statement. Now they caught the woman.

Now He's finished. What is He going to say? I'm going to lose another Jewish hero. One more Karl Marx down the tube. One more Jung, not Jung, Freud. These Jewish culture heroes, one by one, have toppled.

So here's another one. What can He say? I put my finger in the book. I thought, well, Katz, you're clever. What answer? Think of an answer. I racked my brain from one end to the other, and finally I came to this conclusion, to which I had to come.

There is no human answer for the predicament in which Jesus is. And so kind of expecting the worst, which means my death by stoning them, judgment, and my heart beating, palpitating, my hand was sweating.

It was not a little academic thing for me. I was caught in the very predicament of that woman. And I'm reading on, Jesus bent over the dirt, poking His finger in the earth, and these men circled around about Him with their eyes blazing, waiting for the kill.

This is it, to finish Him off, this disturber of their peace and their system. I know it was not because they were Jewish. It was because they were religious. And what He represented was the most profound threat.

And so then I'm reading, and He speaks, Let him who is without sin cast the first stone. When that line came up into my eyes' brain and down into my heart, I was like a sword. The word was like the sword I was cut into.

I was a trembling thing, and I knew that I knew in that moment there's a living God. I'm reading His word. This is beyond human answer. And it came out of the mouth of Jesus. It must be who He is. But I didn't shout hallelujah for that revelation.

I received it as the power of revelation because my first thought was, What will your mother say about this? And she did. We Jews, who are emblematic of the entire world, we Jews are man personified. We are the summation of the human condition.

And that's why every great issue has to pass through us because it's being performed for the benefit of all mankind. You need to understand that. So our sins are as devious and as terrible as all of mankind's.

So we have got to be brought to a place where there's no human answer. For if there's a human answer, we will find it. We've got the whatchamacallits, and we'll strain. Look at Israel now. That the same guy who had seen to the establishment of these settlements is now the one who is dismembering them.

He's being turned inside out. Why? The nature of the time and the events have made him to reverse himself. So the cleverness that prevailed at one occasion is now being totally undone in a paradox of contradiction to which men come when they're trying to live and solve and establish themselves independent of God.

We need to appreciate the paradox of Israel and its struggle as being the last death gasp of man and that there's no shortcut. They have got to live it out to the full until they themselves come to the place, inveterate humanists to the end, believing in man to the end, that man is the measure of all things, to come to the place where they can say, we are at an end.

And that's what we read in Ezekiel 37, where they themselves say, we are cut off, we are without hope, we are as dry bones. Anyone who knows anything about Jewish history knows this. That national statement has not yet been made in the whole tragic history of the Jewish people.

Even the Nazi Holocaust did not elicit and evoke, we are cut off, we are without hope, we are as dry bones. What came out of the Nazi Holocaust? Never again. Still, as much as they reduced, still a belief that they, by their own shoe, what do they call it, straps, can lift themselves up and out and come out of the camps with the concentration camp numbers on their arms and within a decade they have their homes and garages and kids going to private schools and they take a malarial swampland that has been abandoned, except for some scurvy few, for centuries and make it the state that it is today.

Only Jews. So for them to bite the dust, to acknowledge that they are at an end of themselves as man and that they must come to an end when they seek to establish themselves without God, especially as a people called to be the witness to God, how far must God go to reduce them?

And that's what we're seeing now. So we're going to be the set time that has come when we ourselves as the church have come to the end of our humanisms. Maybe the last humanism is, as I mentioned, sentimentality, false spirituality, imitation.

Pseudo-saints who look like but are not have the appearance of but are not the real thing and when the thud of the requirements of the last days come it'll be an embarrassing dull thud and not the resonance of God.

What is the real thing? There's only one real thing that's authentic, it's very God himself. And what God has always wanted, was always his intention, not that we should copy or imitate him, the imitation of Jesus, but to be in him and be in union with him, through and through, so that we say with the great apostle, for us to live is Christ.

But you know how hard it is to give up the ghost? We want somehow to persist and to continue if there's any figment of hope and succeed on our own basis, after all we've done so admirably up till now.

But here's that final requirement for which your admirable self-sufficiency will not prevail. In that crisis of Israel, you'll find it collapsed. You'll not be able to be to them what you ought. You may show some measure of human sympathy but even that will be beggared by the demand that Israel will represent in her last days conduct and being.

But to have mercy upon her stones, compassion on her dust, is the ultimate statement that you have come to the place in God where his very heart for them is your heart. Because the last things have been brought to death that have stood between you and total union with himself.

If there's so much as one strand of our humanity still operative, the union is prevented. It waits for a total death for total life. So his purpose for the church now being fulfilled, he can turn his full attention to deliver Israel before the face of all nations.

That's how remarkable a deliverance it will be, causing the nations to fear the name of the Lord and to bow before his majesty, which now is visible and appears in his glory in the building up of Zion.

Zion is taken out from veritable death and made to be extolled before all nations. Let this be recorded for all generations, the text told us, for there will not be another time. This is the end of history.

And that which has got to prevail millennially and eternally has got to be affected now in this last and final act in history, which is the restoration of Israel through the church coming of age and the demonstration of God's grace and power visible to the nations so that they themselves come under his dominion and their kingdoms are submitted to him and that all the earth rejoices and celebrates and praises the one God.

That's the end of history. So what an end it is that all future generations yet unborn will have grounds to praise the Lord just rehearsing the drama of the ages and its conclusion. It is that mighty.

He has risen up through his servant people to have compassion on Zion who are joined in him and in his risen life whose essential nature is mercy and unconditional love. The union of the church with him, with himself is the issue of Israel's redemption.

That constitutes the set time that has come and therefore the blessing to all nations and the procurement of a bride for the bridegroom unto dominion over all creation for he must have a co-regent or he cannot have dominion.

It was given to them. The pattern is Adam and Eve in the garden at the beginning of human history and the end is the greater Adam with his bride over the Eden, the creation that will blossom in this final consummation.

So that what was lost in the garden which was dominion is now eternally obtained by the bride fitted for the bridegroom adorned for the bridegroom having the glory of God which is to say having his very nature brought to bridal exaltation by the reiteration of the bridegroom's own priestly self-sacrifice for Israel.

That attitude toward Israel in her abject fallen condition where her cities are reduced to stubble, ruin and dust that evokes not happy malicious glee but compassionate identification is the statement of God as God and all the world will recognize it.

Okay, this had to go on record to clinch the difficulty of that text last night because it is a great eschatological psalm remarkably so far in advance of events that are yet future that the Holy Spirit can inspire a psalmist to set before us a statement of that kind that describes Israel's abject condition in concentration camps where they're daily mocked and taunted and their skin sticks to their bones and they feel isolated and all the rest is so graphic that it took the Nazi Holocaust even to give us conditions by which we can understand what is being described and if we are essentially right that this trouble that is ahead will exceed all previous trouble which means that the fatalities will be greater than the Nazi time and that the ratio of survival in Jerusalem will be the ratio of survival in the world two-thirds perishing, one-third passing through the fire.

We're talking about the decimation of 10 million Jews in a three and a half year period and there's no way that that can take place without concentration camps without systematic annihilation without factories of death of the kind that Auschwitz and Birkenau was by the Germans.

So this description of Jews in a camp crying out as we read is very apt. But in the camp and in other conditions the Jews themselves are coming to a new acknowledgement my God the inmate cries out, my God and you will endure, I'm dust I will evaporate, I'm a vapor but you will endure forever and your name will be exalted.

Show me a Jew today whoever even begins to think in those terms it's as far removed from Norman Polkowitz's consideration as anything it will take the adversity of this ultimate kind to compel and break out of our humanist bonds into the first crying out and recognition of a God whose name is above every other consideration and that he will endure while we vaporize.

That's the beginning of Jews being Jews. So at the same time that Jews are coming to this new consciousness it's the same time that the Church is coming into its final consummation of being an identity with the Lord in his essential nature.

Isn't that remarkable? The tandem, two things coming together at the same time which I suggested for the first time that revival in New Zealand will be sparked by the Israel passing through in judgement that the one will trigger the other.

So it's not past the Lord to do simultaneous things of an opposite kind by the playing of one factor against another. There's a word for that dialectical. Yeah, it's dialectical. This is dialectical the playing of one thing against another to produce a new thing.

It's the dialectic of history. Ok now we're ready, I think. Questions? I've been told that some people have already been murmuring and expressing something about the rapture. What about the rapture? Well, I'll make a little statement.

I'm no authority on this subject nor on any of the questions that you're likely to raise. But my own attitude, if you have curiosity is I am a post-rapturist. There's a rapture. There is a rising from the earth after the Lord's appearing.

But for me it's not a secret appearing that I don't see in scripture. It's the one appearing when he comes to set his feet on the Mount of Olives and to deal with those nations that are destroying Israel and to be revealed to Israel as its Messiah when we shall see him whom we have pierced.

That when he comes those that are asleep in Christ rise first. And those that what's the next part? Those that are remain those that remain implying that they are barely themselves surviving. They're alive.

But they remain. But they themselves have been subject to a persecution. And they follow those who are asleep in Christ. Those who have not been in Christ do not rise till a thousand years later in my opinion for the general resurrection of all the dead.

Then the books are open to see if one's name is in the book of life. But to be in Christ and rise in his appearing is to rule and reign with him for a thousand years. It doesn't end with a thousand years.

But we're given the privilege of the initiation of his everlasting kingdom in that first thousand year period to honor those who have been in Christ that is to say have remained faithful are identified and are in union with him even up to their death.

They rise first. Okay it's interesting that the whole rapture theory if I can put it that way is not part of the classic doctrine of the church. The early church never subscribed to such a view. It's only about 150 years old.

It began with a prophecy by a woman in Scotland that was taken up by I forgot the fellow's name and then later found its way into the Schofield edition of the Bible and became almost like an indisputable article of faith that if you take issue with it you're somehow debating the foundations of the fundamental doctrines.

It took place at a time when there was not the revelation of Israel that you have been hearing from me in these days. That means it took place in a kind of abstract environment that left out the most cogent factor that distinguishes the church in the last days its relationship with Israel.

So if Israel is going to go through a time of tribulation and be uprooted and sifted through the nations who shall receive them if the church is absent from the earth because it says in Revelation that the woman, Israel will be given wings and will fly into a wilderness where a place has been prepared for her and where she will be fed.

So it raises logistical questions. How can 15 million Jews uprooted throughout the world sifted through nations be accommodated and met unless there are these places prepared in the wilderness where they are fed and fed not only food but fed also spiritually given.

Explanation because a woman said to me Art, why should this flight and this expulsion be different than any other. Because expulsion has always been the consequence of Israel's sin expulsion and flight.

So what makes this one different. And if they return will there not be a future expulsion. Why is this the final one. Good question. And my answer in part was because this time unlike any previous time they will be received while in flight by a prophetic people who can give them explanation and understanding for the cause of their dispersal.

And that will be a factor in returning to Zion with everlasting joy upon their heads. Because now it is made understandable they see their plight in the context of God's theocratic coming and rule and his last days dealing with his own people.

And so that has never before been a provision that Israel has known in flight. So here for me is another reason why the church must be present. There is no way to accommodate those millions except that there is a place prepared in the wilderness.

And then I am suspicious of a desire to flee to escape. I don't want to escape. I want to be where the action is. I want to participate in God's last days purposes because my whole history till now is preparation for that.

It's for that purpose that we have come to be absent at the golden hour when the church reveals itself so brilliantly in the character of God that the nations themselves are persuaded of the truth of the God of Israel.

I don't want to be absent for that. So as a last thing I would say I am suspicious of a whole theory predicated on a carnal desire to flee to escape to avoid the difficulties the tensions the demands of the last days.

So putting that all together I would say are the reasons why I do not subscribe to a pre-tribulation rapture. Because the tribulation is our purification. It's not a judgment for us. It's a fire of cleansing and of purging of the last carnalities and subtleties of soul that have kept us from this union.

You see how the multi-purposes of God are served by a time of tribulation. So I hope that's in some way helpful. Ok.

What questions do you have? It means that scripture says blessed is he that. Yeah. Yeah. So let's see how that scripture relates to it. That's all it says. So what is that? It says blessed is he. He thinks.

It's a plot in the first resurrection. Yeah. Why? Why is he blessed? Because he rises with the Lord's appearing to take place in the government of creation. The high honor and privilege of having a place in the economy of God in the kingdom that has now come in which we will rule and reign with him as overcoming sons.

Those that did not overcome who chose a lesser place who played it safe who are unwilling for the risks of faith and identification with the Lord and his purposes will sleep. There will be a general resurrection of all the dead.

A thousand years later they sleep through the formation of the kingdom and have missed the privilege and the honor of being formative in its establishment. And it's a moot question that even if their name is found in the book of life a thousand years later will they have a place in that kingdom?

In terms of its government yes, they'll be submitted to it. They'll be in the kingdom so to speak as citizens. But will they have the role the place of honor in the administration of that kingdom. And we need to change our brain boxes.

Kingdom and theocracy is not human government. This is not bureaucracy. This is not stuffing your pockets or handling papers. A routine to govern and rule with God is to administer his wisdom his kindness his understanding to mankind that they might come to the place of sanity and health and righteousness that God intends for all his creatures.

See what I mean? So even the word government needs to be made virginal. It needs to be washed from its tainted association with the way in which men have governed full of ambition self-aggrandizement.

The government of God is holy, holy, holy. And it is unspeakable privilege to have part in its formation. And then Paul says some will rule over five cities some over ten. What is he saying? We will not all occupy the same role.

What will differentiate us? The issue of our character our history and how we have been obedient in this life will have fitted us for the degree to which we will be allowed to rule. Some over five cities, some over ten.

Remember in Corinthians where two believers were going to the court of law to resolve a difference between them and Paul was staggered. What are you guys doing? You're going to the world's court to resolve a difference between you as believers.

You would be better to be defrauded. Allow yourself to be defrauded. But don't bring an issue between yourselves as believers to the world. Don't you know he said you're going to rule over nations and over powers.

What are you doing now going to the world's court when you yourself are being groomed to be judges. Paul's mentality is precious. He knew. And so he's grooming the church for that eternal role. And Paul himself is eternally minded.

And he sees this life as preparation for that which we have not yet come. We have been too much stuck in this world and in time. And we've lost the true and essential focus that would distinguish us as God's people who already have a look of eternity in their eyes who already are preparing and look at this life not as the thing in itself but the preparation for that which is to come see.

So let's shift gears and come into that and be insistent that we will be part of that first resurrection and not miss it. Because we are in Christ. Okay. Good question good thought next.

Yeah to have a heart for the fleeing Jews isn't that great. I don't. Is it fair to think that God's preparation of my heart to be ready to receive them is about how we care for the even now destitute now.

Yeah even though they may not be Jews.

Yeah is that how. God. That's good a wonderful clue for that. The end is in Matthew 25 when Jesus is now seated as King the end has come and he's exercising his first judgment in sifting the nations the Gentiles and separating the sheep from the goats over one question what did you do for the least of my brethren and both who say Lord the wicked who did nothing call him Lord.

When did we see you naked thirsty hungry. You know as you did not do it for least you did not do it for me. Depart into the lake of fire prepare for the devil for his angels it's a harsh eternal judgment.

But for those that do extend mercy they say the same thing. When did we see you naked thirsty. You know we did not realize that when we were extending mercy to this bedraggled people that it was unto you.

So the issue was not even the recognition of the significance of Jews. But he says okay you righteous receive now the reward prepared for you enter the kingdom. So the issue is not necessarily the recognition of Jews as Jews or our attitude because we have a special sympathy for Jews.

The issue is more properly our righteousness. In other words our righteousness will not allow us to do anything other or be other to a people in ultimate distress than to extend mercy whether they're Jews or hot and tots.

You see what I mean. Yeah righteousness demands alleviating suffering even at the cost of some peril to ourselves. We cannot bear to see someone thirsty and naked and destitute and beaten and not extend mercy.

Righteousness that is our union with the Lord compels us to that line of conduct. Whatever the cost I often give this illustration before I was even yet saved. Here's a little glimpse coming back to America from Germany where I'd been for almost two years in the army on a troop train to Bremerhaven where we were then put on ships to come back to the States and every soldier was drunken carousing and noisy.

We were in those compartments and I'm sitting I'm having a love affair with a woman I'm going soon to marry which is my first tragedy. In fact it's the tragedy that precipitated me into the kingdom marrying a schizophrenic German woman who had been part of the Hitler youth and that in the frenzy of her own broken personality she lashed out an anti-Semitism under my own roof because I didn't know those things.

But I'm brooding. I know that I've met a woman. There's something fated that will take place. I can't stand this noise these men are carrying on raucously nonsensically, idiotically. And at a certain point I reached a point where a condition of existence is intolerable that whatever the cost it must be contended against and not be allowed to continue.

And so I got up. I went to the guy who had the bottle didn't look to see what his size was because I knew it was going to end in fisticuffs but I could not tolerate that this thing should go on this maddening noise.

I went to this guy, grabbed the bottle opened the window threw it out on the tracks shut the window and turned to face him whether he's 250 pounds or the heavyweight champion of the United States Army.

It didn't matter if my nose was mashed. It didn't matter if I was killed. Righteousness required an act and that's what it will be for us. That was my conduct as an unbeliever. The remarkable thing was that those men were so stunned by my conduct that though the guy got up to face me and I stood and I faced him without a word he backed off.

He sat down and they were quiet all the rest of the trip. Righteousness prevailed. Righteousness exalts a nation and I often quote that to unbelieving people. I quoted it to the head of the Supreme Court of Tanzania in one of my early trips to Africa where I spoke on an open field where they made a rickety platform.

I was sure it was going to collapse and you can hear the noise from the discotheques at the other end of the field. And I'm speaking about the Ethiopian eunuch the first African to be baptized to receive the word.

And I came down from that rickety platform and the man says in the crowd I would love for you to speak to my employer. I said gladly. Who's your employer? She's the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.

The next day I'm walking into the home of the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court and as I come under the righteousness exalts a nation and sin is a shame for any people. And so when we sat down I expounded that verse to her and I said to her your drought and corruption and bribery and violence under your own rule because the colonial British rule has been expelled is the statement of your lack of righteousness.

The fact that you have confiscated the properties owned by white people through your government does not make it righteous. It is still robbery even though it's been sanctioned through law. And therefore you're suffering.

I said the answer for Tanzania. As for all African nations righteousness exalts a nation. The word exalt means prosper. So you don't even have to be a believer. God so loves righteousness. He will prosper it.

And he prospered it in that train compartment. And he will prosper it. When our righteousness compels us to be to the Jews what we ought even though we don't at that moment recognize that they are the least of these his brethren see what I mean it will not be the shabby sentimentality that we think that they're cute.

The kind of thing that now characterizes the charismatic attitude toward Israel and the Jew which will suffer terrible disappointment. And I'm expecting that those who now are at that level of superficiality will be betrayed and reveal the very opposite of what they're now expressing they will be the ones most vicious in their disappointment within Israel that has failed to fulfill their romantic expectation.

Sometimes we get that within the church toward ministers if we don't fulfill their romantic expectation of what they think a prophet is or a pastor is. And then we react with anger in our disappointment.

That's why I prayed this morning may the Lord disabuse us of our sentimental if not our romantic notions that we might be realistic in our expectations and know that even his choicest saints have clay feet they're also flesh and blood like us.

And they need prayer more than others because they are assailed by the powers of darkness. You can imagine if the powers of darkness can bring me down through moral failure collapse, what that would mean for the church and those who have been encouraged by my ministry.

And that would be a feather in the enemy's cap. How will it be prevented? Not by my virtue but by your prayers to keep the man, preserve him Lord watch over him because he's mocked, the enemy would love to do him in and silence that voice and silence that perspective.

Okay yeah.

I'd like to ask you something personal and as a Jewish person I cannot get out of it without bringing something personal in here. Without without getting something personal from in here I need to take something in my pocket before I get out of here.

You see I'm a Jew I'm a new believer but all my life I've had a very deep desire for a spiritual lifestyle. When I've met Yoshua through an old person on a very spontaneous occasion it happened 8 months ago and I was very stunned to hear about the power of.

Yoshua. And when I came here.

I thought I heard about you from this gentleman in here, from Alistair and when I met you please let me tell you I'm being nice for a second. I found you a very very handsome man and I find you I'm very proud of you and what really attracted me about you is that you are a Jew in my journey in New Zealand being a Messianic.

I didn't meet much Jew but I've met a lot in the Messianic congregation who would like to meet you and I never said it before but when I've met you I've put to you a point, person, and told you that I think that I'm cursed and I told you what was the heart of the matter during the 3 nights in here.

I've told others that I've got a problem though I did not tell them specifically what the problem is. I don't understand I understand the idea of demon and the idea of this evil that might seek and live into my heart which I don't want, please believe me.