The Spiritual Soldier — Dean Taylor

Well, it's amazing to be here. You know, there is just something powerful about a charity Bible school. Amen, Mom. Amen. Yeah, it is so good to be here. I just am not just saying that in flattery. I say that in a true way and it is a honor to worship with you and to be here I'll be speaking through the week here and we're gonna be doing some.

I was given a military theme which I tend to do. Brother Tim had that for the whole the whole week and so in that though I'm gonna be trying to get into some some good Bible teaching and good things that we're going to be looking at but the idea but behind all of that is to inspire you to be soldiers of the Lord and for your generation.

The scripture that we're gonna use for the the week is this very Familiar one it was excellent if we unpacked this and take it very seriously. No one engaged in warfare Entangles himself with the affairs of this life.

For what reason that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier and that'll be our passage for the for the week. You know as I'm here I And in and just reconnecting with so many of you and and getting to know some of you.

I Remember an old song I'm back from my youth from an old singer named Rich Mullins and there was a lyric in there that said. Then I wake up in the world that I'm partly made of and the world that is partly of my own making.

And I as we've walked through several things together as I've walked through with your parents. My children are your children about your age and and different things and older I just I'm. Different parts of your life make different people out of us and as we think about being soldiers of the Lord today and and going through that I I can't help but ponder and think of some of the battle injuries.

Some of the casualties and I know that probably a lot of you have some of those probably some of them might even been inflicted by myself or other Ministers or something that's that's here. And I beg for your mercy with that and your forgiveness and ask us all for this next generation.

How do you do it? How are you going to take these words of life and put them into practice for the kingdom of God? As I ponder the casualties I you know, it does something to you and as it does to soldiers it does.

You know when you're there in battle and people are falling your friends are falling around you it the soldier comes back differently but there's something that's Kind of expected in that. I mean if you're gonna be running in the battle and your buddy gets shot, it's you know, it's terrible.

But it's there's something kind of expected what really demoralizes troops. Historically what demoralizes troops is when The systems break down the country itself fights on itself. You were sent out to battle and the battle switches and the politics Change and you you come home instead of a hero you come home a fool and that demoralizes people.

That's what demoralizes troops. And so as we look today, I I want to address throughout this week not only the casualties and the physical things that that involve but some of the even the propaganda the war of your mind and of your soul and See the demoralizing of the church and the attacks that we're being Faced with with on a higher level and I and I think that those are the things that can Can can really get to us?

There's so many different ways That Satan is using to attack the church today. Now as a historian, I'm not gonna say that, you know. This this age is the worst of every of any kind and the way it is. But every age has its temptation every age has its attacks and I think that we have those today as well.

I think of when I moved here. It was first attending this church. You know things like the Internet and no one even had hardly cell phones when my first son was born the Internet didn't even exist. It even exists.

We didn't even know the term and since then, you know, we wrestled with what are we gonna do with this? So we outlaw cell phones. So we not have this and we tried all those kinds of things. Well now, you know toasters have Wi-Fi for crying out loud, you know, so you're not gonna get out of that.

So we need to prepare a whole new generation of people That are able to deal with these temptations and deal with these things that are around us and we can't live in a cave I don't think any longer and so we need to be strong and we need to be able to look at those things at a deep Level, but I tell you what, I am.

I have hope. I have hope for several reasons. I have hope first of all It is inspiring to me to be in a room with this next generation of of young people that I that are Grown in the in the faith and now come and worship God and praise him and want to serve him.

That gives me hope. So seeing this generation seeing that you've survived. However, and wherever and however you got here you're here. You're standing so to speak you made it. Satan hasn't cast you out that you were not going to want to hear the words of God and and come to a place for Your studying and praise God for that.

Keep up and I'm trying I want to encourage you even further. But and I and I'm so blessed that the Spirit of God I think as I heard it several times and brother Tim one of the young ladies brought it up and there was several things this Passage was on my heart of why we should have hope today.

It's already said several times this morning. It's a promise. This is a promise from Isaiah 59 19 So shall they fear the name of the Lord from the West and his glory from the rising of the Sun. And then here's the promise.

When the enemy comes in like a flood and I think we can say that we heard that today, right? When the enemy comes in like a flood the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against him. Do you know what a standard is?

You know what that is? And it was a military. You know the the banner and so the guy who would be carrying the standard into battle which it represented. Everything that they were about as a matter of fact in ancient Roman history.

When Augustus was made after Julius Caesar, we got Augustus Caesar and they had lost before Julius Caesar the Standards to Persia. They lost one of the generals had lost it to Persian. It was gone and when Augustus one of the things that made Augustus such a famous hero.

Is that he got the standards back you find ancient coins that say We got the standard back started printing money. We got it back. That's kind of packed into this thought about What we have here with.

We have here with this scripture when the enemy comes in like a flood the Lord will lift up a standard against him. The Redeemer will come to Zion and to those who turn from transgression and Jacob says the Lord So powerful so this week I'm gonna be looking at some of the introduction.

I'm gonna take you to one of my favorite passages to preach on is in numbers. I have a scene there today and some applications to that on Monday on tomorrow I'm gonna go through some battle plans some Bible interpretations of good Bible teaching.

I'm a historical theologian and I'm gonna take you through the way I do that Tuesday. We're gonna look at espionage infiltration subterfuge. We're talking about how the church and how you are getting attacked from different ways and how we can stand strong against that.

Wednesday, I'm gonna be talking about the weapons of our warfare and in that I'm gonna be talking about your conscience conviction being born again and then also walking in faith and prayer and and battles against against the enemy and how you Can walk victoriously and then on Thursday, we're going to talk about Kingdom-building this is a day off.

Sorry up to Friday interpret that for it. So Let's go into this first section. Turn your Bibles to numbers chapter 21. It's one of my favorite passages to preach on. I have I won't unpack the whole thing entirely.

I'm just gonna be bringing out several points and what time do I have to? 11. Okay, right, okay. Okay. Excellent one of my favorite passages for this reason you get a Rare view of a spectator view of the people of God.

You don't get that if you think about the scriptures. It's usually dialogue or something that you know is between different people and everything but in this passage and y 'all can help me to think of some other ones, but you're getting a People are looking on to the people of God and then they report what they see.

That's what we're going to be getting in this in this section. We also have a section That you have bookends of the the people of God who were walking in faith strong forgiven powerful and how they Responded until they didn't and in this window it's one of the most powerful windows of I think of seeing what the church should be like what you should be like and and walking in faith and.

And then the pitfalls and the blessings that come with that. So I'm gonna break these down at a few things of the trying when Balaam and Balak are trying to curse Israel great insights with that. So let's start with the bookend of when they got faith.

So we know the story in numbers 21. Let's pick it up at verse 4. Then they journeyed from Mount Hor By the way of the Red Sea to go around the land of Edom and Listen to this and the soul of the people became very Discouraged on the way the King James says because of the way I like that.

I know for a fact that there are many if not all of you that are dealing with being discouraged because of the way and so in this we tend to fall and I'm telling you if there's anything that there's any Weapon that I have seen take young people middle-aged and old people down.

It is discouragement when we get discouraged. It's bad and we give up and it happens to all of us. John the Baptist who the scripture says was the greatest prophet and man of God in the Old Covenant and yet he in the in the prison was saying Okay, I heard you preaching you'll set the captives free.

And I'm in jail. Could you send and go talk to Jesus and say are you really the Messiah? Are you really the Christ and even John the Baptist and you remember what Jesus response to them was besides tell them?

I've done all these incredible works of God. Blessed is he who's not offended in me. The journey is tough sometimes and being offended we can tend to give up. I recognize that it pulls at me almost every day.

Give up you can't and I'm hoping to encourage that but they did and it was bad. It says in verse 5 and the people spoke against God and against Moses. Why have you brought us up out of the Egypt to die in the wilderness?

But there's no food and no water and are so low this worthless bread, man, you know. Maybe wherever you are and you're thinking I'm in the middle of nowhere. My parents moved me to this place or whatever.

You're in the middle of wilderness and you're getting discouraged with your your chances for finding a life partner or your jobs or your careers. Or whatever and you're getting very discouraged and and you're saying and you're starting to actually Satan is working at that to kind of disturb you and make you lose the faith.

So in this case in this old covenant, he brought a a plague on them and it was very serious. We remember the story they were dying. But then he gave this promise and I won't dwell on this but Jesus picks up this whole analogy in John chapter 3 of the example of faith and he lifts up this Serpent obviously a likeness of the of the sacrifice of Christ on the cross if you look at this.

You'll be healed and they did well those who did the rest of them died. But those who did did and so everyone now leaving this thing were redeemed Saved clear clear heaven and they were all walking now with this faith.

This is a beautiful place to start so so then the the. So they're taking this and you start to see them moving and they're going and then the next chapter there in 22 it starts talking about them taking this country in this country and people are start getting nervous and Particularly Balak is getting nervous and he starts seeing okay.

They knocked out this country. They knocked out this country in that country. I'm next and so he found this prophet this seer in Any at Balaam and he said I want you to do something for me. I'm really nervous about this army coming through.

I want you to curse them. I Want you to curse them? So the whole donkey talking donkey story that you grew up with and all that happened. But finally the really best part of the story is that he gets there.

He makes all these sacrifices in chapter 22 talks about he makes these I think seven alters and all these bulls and all this he says but listen I'm a real prophet. I Only speak what God tells me. In other words, he wasn't making this stuff up.

He's kind of report. I'll go out there. We'll do the sacrifice. I'm gonna try to curse these people. We'll see what happens. His integrity was impressive. So he does it and he goes out there goes on the top and he looks over and this is where we get that glimpse.

And this is the part that I want you to get in this idea of what this church remember everyone's redeemed. Everyone's saved everyone's walking with a clear conscience and they've been knocking out all this spiritual victory and he looks at them.

And and this is what he says. So Balaam comes to him and says, okay. Well, did you curse them? Why didn't you curse them? You bless them and in verse chapter 23 verse 8. He says how shall I curse whom God has not cursed?

And how shall I denounce whom the Lord has not denounced and Check out this little Peak of the people of God from the tops of the rock. I see him and from the hills I behold them there a people dwelling alone and Reckoning itself among the nations.

Who can count the dust of Jacob or number 1 4th of Israel and then looking at him? He's looking over there and goes Let me die the death of the righteous and let my death be like them. He went there to curse him but there was something about their purposefulness somebody one of you young ladies said You heard from the Lord this idea of our worship would be attractive there was something in this View here that he was seeing that he actually longed like I wish I could walk down from the mountain and be a part of them.

And that's what he saw this another amazing Old Testament Foreshadowing of the cross they lined up like this and this is the view of what he looked down. And you think of our scripture here no one entangled in warfare, excuse me, no one engaged in warfare and Tangles himself with the affairs of this life for what reason that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier.

So there was all kind of things going on here up the mountains and around the corner and all this there was there was pagan Worship there were things going on. There was politics. There was all the different things.

But these people knew what they were doing and they kept to it. They were not Involved with the affairs of the world. They were involved with the affairs of God. And that's what being separated unto God means now.

I know a lot of you may have had some scarring ideas of what that looks like or whatever and I don't want you to lose this concept of being separated unto God because it is so pivotal in The New Covenant even if we've messed it up with different Baggages along the way there's you have to have this concept there's a To give you an analogy of what this looks like in a non-christian way.

Y 'all read you've heard this this testimony. I know you've probably said it here at your mission schools and things but it's really impressive for those who haven't of this Communist and he was writing in the 1950s about his his passion.

And provoking the the American capitalists that you have nothing watch the way we kept Communists are dedicated to our cause. I have a little excerpt from that given in a magazine in 1957. He says this challenging the American capitalist.

What seems of first importance to you is to me either not desirable or impossible of realization. But there is one thing about which I am dead earnest. And that is the communist cause. It's my life my business my religion my hobby my sweetheart my wife my mischief Mistress my bread and meat.

I work at it in the daytime and dream of it at night. It holds on me grows not lessons as time goes on. I'll be in the I'll be in this the rest of my life. When you think of me It is necessary to think of communism as well because I am inseparably bound to it.

Therefore I can't carry on a friendship a love affair or even a conversation without relation to the force Which both drives and guides my life? I evaluate people. I evaluate books ideas actions According to how they affect the communist cause and by their attitude towards it.

I've already been in jail because of my ideas and if necessary I am ready to go to a firing squad at the end He says and when we are not doing the big things and exciting things We take our spare time to do the dual dull routine chores and endless legwork and errands Which are inescapably connected to running a live organization.

Communists don't have time or money for many movies and concerts and t-bone steaks and decent homes and new cars. We have been described as fanatics. We are. Our lives are dominated by one great overshadowing factor the struggle for communism.

The if anything would in a in a in a way of an opposite way of the Word of God. Express our passage think of it. No one engaged in warfare and tangles himself with the affairs of this life that he may please him who has enlisted him as a soldier.

Do you get even a part of that, you know I thought about I I think most of you know, my wife and I were in the military some 30 years ago or something like that and We'd be we decided we had a change of allegiance and we decided to follow God's army instead of the world's army.

But I tell you what, you know, have you ever listened to a bugle playing on a cold morning? Or a bagpipe playing I mean It's not the best music, you know what I mean? I mean a bugler playing on a very cold morning is usually messing up a little bit and a bagpipe can't hardly play in tune.

But there's something about it that Gets you Gets you do you get that with the church at all with Christianity with God's ways with with his is. It do you have the with those songs that we were singing up here passionately.

You know, you don't listen to a bugle every day or a bagpipe every day. But there's something in it that makes up who you are. You got to get that to understand of being a spiritual soldier the church the church's ways and things and yes it has we have our mistakes and every generation makes them and your Generations kind of make them too.

But but have that in you. That you have something in you. That's the Word of God the army of God and those hymns and those ways and something go to you. I believe That this the patriotism this the that spirit of patriotism is of God.

I believe that there's something inside of us that makes us to be nationalist to be to be Patriotic but I also think God is very jealous. That we give it only to him and to his kingdom. It's very easy for us to get off in both Pharisee ism.

We get off into little groups and factions and people want to gather you to them and and make a name for themselves or we get off into the world's politics and nationalism and get off into different armies and everything like that and Either way we're taking that Something inside of us that God I think is given to us to be zealous and patriotic for the kingdom of God.

And we give it to other things. God is jealous over it. He said in Mark 8 15. He sums it all up. Then then he charged them saying take heed and beware. That's interesting. He says both take heed beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and the leaven of Herod.

Politics nationalism Pharisee ism Faction ism all these different things apart from the person of Jesus Christ little little cults will try to grab your attention and nowadays with the way the internet is coming in and sweeping you have so many different voices to Try to grab at you from cults to politics to to everything that are going to try to get a hold of you.

Give your heart only to Jesus Christ and be patriotic about it. This one thing I do God said Woe to the Scribes and Pharisees Hypocrites for they travel land and sea to win one Prostolite and when he is won you make him twice as much the sons of hell as yourself.

We have to be careful that even in Even in our relation with things of the church we have to be careful keep your eyes on Christ himself. Because I believe this and I've seen some of it in my own mind I'm gonna have wax a little philosophically if you allow me for just a minute.

I Believe that the greatest atrocities that have befallen mankind Have been done by men who think they do God a service. Watch it over and over again. If you read Hitler the actual writings of Hitler or Stalin or any of these these Antichrist Napoleon's certainly.

Any of these ones are modern ones? I will try not to mention. They're always being given to you in the light that we're going to save you. I tell you what if you would read the accounts of the Mennonites or actually all the conservative Christians That were running headlong after the Hitler during the during the World War two all the conservative Christians.

Almost all of them followed him. It was because they were promising these types of things and I've seen this too. There are two ways for tyrants to rule the world and to rule you and to have dominion over you.

The first is like that of Alexander the Great or Napoleon or Joseph Stalin who through military power coercion or tyranny? Subdue their enemies with such force and cruelty. Cruelty that their enemies tremble before they ever cross their borders.

The other though the second way is to create a world so small That you remove all the competition and this world tyrants still rule. However, the force of their abuse is projected on maintaining the loyalty of their clan and the elevation of their axioms in.

Both cases those who cross their path rarely do so without acquiescence giving in or abhorrence. So this place We give to God and allow the church to be marching with that banner. God is not wanting to give that glory to anything else.

But himself and I'll tell you what. I don't care if you rise up and you're a big preacher. You're whatever a big church or or a politics or whatever God will not allow it for you shall worship. No other God for the Lord.

Whose name is jealous is a jealous God. His name is jealous. I Am I like this other version? I think it's the NIV. I can't remember this. I will not yield my glory to another. He won't. God is God. So there he says imagine this scene and he's looking at this and somehow he's getting that kind of dedication that Purpose driven Passion that's driving this church this people of God they're a People dwelling alone and not reckoning itself among the nations.

They're not getting involved in the politics of these things. Let me die the death of the righteous and let my end be like then now clean in the eyes of God. At a different time he curses him and he says this and I really want you to get this during this.

This time here at Bible school. Let me just tell you something even in secular war and and you know, you don't. Always run and scream and holler and shoot people when you're out in the war. There's there's you have your life punctuated by these times of battle and everything.

But when you come together to train or have a maneuver when you're coming together you set apart Special times when you do this for us. That's Bible school. Some people say oh, I hate to go to Bible school.

So I'm just gonna get up and then I'm gonna come back down. Yeah, I get that and I don't want that to happen to you. But on the other hand, it's times like this that you do business with God. It's times like this that you say, okay God, I'm taking inventory.

I'm looking at my life. Where am I going? What do you want for me? I'm looking at the words of God and that's okay. Secular war does this by all means spiritual war should do this take this time during this week and do inventory.

Because here's one of my favorite glimpses he gets of them when he again. He's trying to curse them in numbers 2320 behold. Listen Balak. I'm trying to curse him. I really am but behold I received a command to blessed and he has blessed and I cannot reverse it and Get this.

He has not observed iniquity in Jacob. Nor has he seen wickedness in Israel. What? Wait a minute. We just saw them all, you know sitting over here. We know they complained here. There was a plague that we know this sin we know all these types of a thing but when they were walking under the blessing of God when their hands were clean and their hearts were pure and Curses were trying to come we get the glimpse of how God saw the people of God.

And he says I don't see iniquity. I don't see it. Don't leave Bible school without this thought is out this reality. That when Satan and the enemy tries to come against you he sees no wickedness in you.

You are covered by the blood of Jesus Christ. You are forgiven and you are walking with a clear heaven. That's prevent the enemy from coming against you a Clean hand and a pure heart. One of my favorite passages in Psalm 24 who shall ascend to the how hill of the Lord or who shall stand in his holy?

Place he that has clean hands and a pure heart. Who has not lifted up his soul unto vanity nor sworn deceitfully? Look, I know every one of us have business to do here every one of us do I remember at basic training The drill sergeant when the first day he said every single one of you will I don't care if you're Arnold Schwarzenegger.

You're gonna leave here and better shape than when you came. Now for the spiritual boot camp that we're trying to do here. It's a little bit more intentional you have to be. But I'm telling you if you apply these principles, it'll be the same for you.

God gives us a conscience. I'm gonna be talking about that as on the later days about that tools but now the Spirit expressly says in the latter times some will depart from the faith giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons.

Speaking lies in hypocrisy watching having their own conscience seared with hot iron. That's a really bad place to be in. If your conscience is seared. Then you can't feel you're you're in trouble. This is what times like this are for Paul says but we have renounced the hidden things of shame.

You have shame on you today. We've renounced the hidden things of shame not walking in craftiness nor handling the Word of God deceitfully. But by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.

He has not observed iniquity in Jacob nor has he seen wickedness in Israel. Praise. God have that before today and then he says right after that. The Lord his God is with him you know one of the things that we have to constantly face fight is not just talking about God or doctrines or Histories or or things or whatever, but God himself.

Our salvation is not in a creed. It's not in a baptism. It's not in a Sacrament it is in God himself. Jesus Christ himself is our salvation and so when we have that salvation He's recognizing the presence of God inside these people that he's looking at.

Paul puts it this way. I have been crucified with Christ my life. It is no longer I who live. But Christ lives in me in the life, which I now live in the flesh. I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.

The presence of God if you're here and your and your Christianity is a creed. Theology and agreeing to join the church a sacrament even. Let it be real that it's actually God and and don't and when we pray here We don't just pray for a blessing from God.

We want God's promised presence, and that's what they had and he sees it and Then he says this The Lord his God is with him. There's that passage and the shout of a king Is among him when you've got all this going for you, and you're walking with that kind of purity there is a purpose in you a rallying cry a that goes.

It goes and so he's hearing this this this cry. I mean, I managed maybe they even saw some of these battles that the people of God were doing. I did for this Bible school I went to and looked up a few of what are some of the few historical war cries.

I found some interesting ones. The Romans had one called they would scream Baratos. And apparently they would start kind of slow. And then build it into a shout the historians Tacitus said they got it from the Germans actually and then adopted it to that with The Romans and then finally made it and it was a horrible scream that would finally bring fear to those that they had come across.

The other one is it was a terrible one. It is the will of God deus hoc vault when the Crusaders by the Pope Gave them the cause to go upon the Middle East to the the Holy Lands and to kill the name of God.

That says that when they gave this cry they were screaming deus hoc vault for so long That they were just shouting and shouting. I forgot for how long they they did it. Oh. And the Baratos one one of the when the historians mentioned that they were shouting so much that a crow According to the story that was going over was stunned and fell to the ground by the force of the of the words of the Screaming, I don't know if it's true or not there.

It is. It's written there another one that the rebel cry one of the northern soldiers were writing in his journal about the rebel cry and what a devilish and powerful and That would bring fear to the northern troops during this time.

They remember the Alamo of course I grew up in Texas. I had to get this one in That after the Texan army lost The Alamo this this cause then became their cry. And this is an interesting point that I found because it was a cause That became their cry and they would scream this the communists would have ones like they would literally scream out land bread.

And then at one time when they were taking Stalingrad they were literally crying out. There's no land for us beyond the Volga, and I find this one interesting if you think about it. So if we go off to spiritual battle there's nothing for us beyond the pale of the truth.

There's nothing for us beyond the church. They knew we're gonna die here. We're gonna die. There's nothing for us. We have to survive and that was their cry. Bonsai was a one particularly used during World War two by the the Japanese soldiers as they had talked attack the American.

And and this means something like 10 ,000 years. Like a millennium an age and they would use it sometimes with their Emperor 10 ,000 years and you know and would say this as they crashed into that and of course the very chilling and terrible Nazi belt buckles and got MIT wounds and like I said people have always Use think they do God a service as they do these atrocities.

And that's the world that's the wickedness that's the satanic cries of battle. But this he saw. It's a shout of the King of God. The King God God King God the Lord God is with him and the shout of a king is among them.

Do you get that I? Am I remember right here? I would say I was about. Maybe on the last row or maybe where brother Tim is is setting there. And I can remember when I first moved here, and I had not yet experienced the volume of Singing that we did in those days brothers, and I can remember I still to this day.

Remember this and I want you to get a hold of this Singing and we're and we're singing those hymns, and it was so loud that the the hymnal vibrates. Have you been in that kind of a situation before. I want you to learn to sing like that.

I never get that out of my mind. I was there, and I felt the hymnal vibrating from the volume that we were singing so loud right here. I'll never forget that. I think God has given us these types of Passions to give glory to him to praise him to glorify him and when we get cynical and we get Discouraged when we get you know.

You get bruised and and and all those things we we tend to to lose that and I and I think it's a shame. Through praise and through the shout of the king with a clear heart and a clear conscience we could have that.

And listen to this one. So he's trying. He's giving these different Attempts and we're getting again this incredible spectator view of what it's like of someone trying to curse a people Who's walking with God as they go and this one is really powerful.

So he say explain to me Balaam. Why aren't you cursing him again? He says God brings them out of Egypt. He has strength like a wild ox and listen to this. For there is no sorcery against Jacob. Nor any divination against Israel.

It now must be said of Jacob and of Israel. Oh what God has done. Look a people rise like a lioness and lifts itself up like a lion. It shall not lie down until it devours the prey and drink the blood of the slain it says here and It gives us an indication that when they were walking with a clear conscience and they were there on purpose.

Separated unto God walking with holiness walking with a clear a clear Conscience that when he would try to curse them no sorcery could penetrate them. There's lots. That's the talk about spiritual warfare.

This is the shield and so this is something that we don't want to lose out on. For there is no sorcery against Jacob nor any divination against Israel. This is a powerful thing so we're talking about a people That were invincible.

Absolutely invincible. There's nothing. Once they were walking in this way. There's nothing that could stop them. Absolutely, nothing. They were number one. They were forgiven. You were here today and.

And are you walking with as the road excuse me has the road made you discouraged and You've cursed God in your heart. There's forgiveness for that by looking to the raised serpent and the wilderness. They were pure in God's eye.